Category: Dancing

Aikido · Crossfit · cycling · Dancing · fitness · Rowing · sailing · Sat with Nat

Memories of my best fitness times and planning my fitness future

Sam B2 Comments

In thinking about life after knee replacement and planning my fitness life for my sixties, I’m trying to remember my happiest active times.  I’m wondering what aspects of those times it makes sense to think about getting back, as well as what new stuff I want to add.

Sam testing for 5th kyu in Aikido

And, of course, what old stuff I’m ready to give away. I mean, some things are right out of the picture.  That’s running and all sports that involve it,  like soccer.  Other things are back in,  for sure,  like recreational cycling.

But what form does this take in my ideal life?

I’m still reflecting on Tracy’s piece about how turning 60 feels different than turning 50. And part of that,  for Tracy,  seemed to be giving up on a bunch of external fitness should talk. Her interests also changed, and she’s approaching sixty with a more integrated and sustainable approach to fitness.

Writes Tracy,  “When I was approaching my fifties, I had an intensity and focus around my fitness activities that was extremely goal-oriented. I had an eye on one thing and one thing only: the Olympic distance triathlon. Though of course the goal yielded some internal change (mostly in the form of perseverance), the goal itself was external.”

Truth be told,  Tracy’s approach differed in that she had a much more ambitious goal. And she took up more new things than me.  So it’s not a surprise that our attitudes about the difference between 50 and 60 are different.

Me,  I want to get back to some aspects of the life I created leading up to 50. I loved it.  I loved the biking,  the rowing, Aikido,  and CrossFit. By the end of the challenge, I wasn’t so focused on an external goal.  Rather, the fittest by fifty challenge helped me appreciate how much physical activity matters to me and how much it’s part of my version of a good life. I might have started with an external goal–fittest by fifty–but it ended with a real love and appreciation of sport, physical activity, and joyful movement. I knew it was an important part of my life, going into the challenge, but the fittest by fifty challenge helped me appreciate how much it mattered.

My goal for the challenge was the Friends for Life Bike Rally, which I did as part of our challenge, but I did it again in August of 2022, right before my first knee replacement surgery. I don’t think I’ll manage it this year, the year I’m turning 60, but I’ve got 2025 in my sights.  I’d like to do it in my 50th and my 60th year and I’ll still be 60 then.

Fit at Midlife the book on the left,  Tracy and Sam in a publicity photo on the right

So I did keep some of my cycling fitness after the fittest by fifty challenge, and I hope to keep that up for a very long time yet.  So what’s missing for me?

There are four themes that keep coming up when I think about the fitness future I want.

First,  it’s community.  When I think back over my various fitness pursuits,  the best times involve working out with other people.  I think about bike clubs and teams,  my soccer team,  the Aikido dojo,  the rowing club,  and so on.  Even CrossFit’s appeal lay mainly in the community. Soccer, Aikido, rowing, and bike clubs are all team efforts where you work with others. I like that a lot. They’re also all community associations where people are drawn from all walks of life and from all corners of the community. It’s what I like about the Guelph Community Boating Club.

Sam and Sarah racing the snipe at Guelph Lake

Second,  it’s active, outdoor adventure. I love being outside.  I love moving my body.  The combo is perfect.

Two photos of Sam in red shirts in her canoe

Third, it’s intensity. I do my best work in teams and there’s something about the group effort that makes me work harder. Team time trials are one of my favourite kinds of bike races and they’re intense, co-operative efforts. Of course, that’s also true of rowing. I like sports that have intensity built in. I’m not sure what form that will take as I get older, but I still think about one of our earlier blog posts, about aging as a choice. Is Aging a Lifestyle Choice? I talked about Gretchen Reynold’s book on exercise science, The First Twenty Minutes: Surprising Science Reveals How We Can: Exercise Better, Train Smarter, Live Longer, where I was particularly taken with her chapter on aging,

I wrote: “The old view was that muscle loss and a decline in aerobic  capacity were inevitable with old age. We slow down with age and become more frail, starting in our 40s, it seemed. But new research suggests the connections may run the other way. We become slower and more frail because we stop moving. Older athletes get slower and less strong, not because they’re older, but rather because they train less than younger athletes.”

Sam’s bike rally team 2022

Fourth, they’ve involved some element of competition. I’ve never been a serious racer but I like club level competition, in most physical activity that I do. (Obviously that’s lacking in yoga and hiking.) It provides some benchmarking and gives a purpose to training.

So, purposeful training, outdoors, in a community, with intensity, and some competition…that’s where we are so far!

Canberra’s Vikings above,  Dunedin’s Women on Wheels below

What happened to my fitness community? Where did it go?

Well, my knees for one thing. Knee pain led to saying goodbye to running,  soccer,  Aikido and CrossFit. My big move was another. Bye-bye cycling coach and the community of cyclists I rode with in London. And then there was my big new job. That’s a lot.

Also there’s age. In Canada it’s harder to find groups that include older adults. I often think back fondly to my racing days in Australia where the master’s cycling group had an active over-80 group. You needed a doctors note to race after 80. It’s hard to imagine an active group of seniors racing bikes in Canada.

As I try to construct a ‘fitness after sixty’ plan, I’m thinking about activities in three groups–things I’m saying goodbye to, things I’m keeping and new things I want to add.

And I also want to recognize the pieces of the plan that are already in place.  Zwift hits both the community and competition buttons. The Guelph Community Boating Club is very much of the volunteer association model I like.

On the bye list are running,  soccer,  Aikido.

On the keep list are hiking,  cycling,  sailboat racing, yoga, paddling, and weightlifting.

And on the new list are bike packing and dancing. I’m not sure where to put swimming but it’s in there.

Oh, there’s also a fourth category–to pick again after retirement–rowing for sure!

Sled pushing at the gym

Look this is obviously very much a work in progress. Stay tuned!

Also, I’ve been trying for better blog post titles.

Here’s some AI suggested:

1. “Rediscovering Joy: Embracing Fitness After Knee Replacement”

2. “Creating a Vibrant Future: Planning Fitness in Your Sixties”

3. “Reflecting on Active Happiness: Reimagining Fitness After Knee Replacement”

4. “The Next Chapter: Designing a Fulfilling Fitness Journey in Your Sixties”

5. “From Recovery to Revival: Crafting a Dynamic Fitness Routine After Knee Replacement”

Let me know what you think!

Dancing · fitness

Two Women walk into a Barre

Words & S’moresLeave a comment
Four dancers. Photo by Jill Marv on Unsplash.

It was a Monday afternoon when, during an energetic phone-call, my best friend shared that she would be trialing a barre class that evening. Barre, a ballet-inspired body-weight exercise class, intrigued me because I have had a slow-burn love for ballet for most of my life. If money and time weren’t a constraint, I would absolutely sign up for private adult ballet lessons.

However, since time and money are a hindrance, I thought barre would be the “next best thing.” After all, they do use a ballet barre. That would be close enough, wouldn’t it? I told my friend I would join her that evening to find out.

If you are like me, ballet lover but inexperienced in the dance, you may be in for a cruel awakening if or when you attend your first barre class. Hear me when I say barre is not ballet. Yes, the barre is used. Yes, feet are put into dance positions. Yes, some of the exercises actually look like the ones ballet dancers perform in commercials and movies.

But don’t be fooled. It is very much just a workout and not at all a dance. A quick web or video search would have helped clarify this for me, I chose experiential learning for some reason.

On that Monday night, we were two women walking into a barre class, completely naïve to the burn that was awaiting us.

If you are someone who has endured a barre class, you understand the initial disgust for the words “pulse” and “hold it right there.” I say “initial disgust” to encourage myself, assuming these words get easier to hear. Do they? Or are they doomed to create a crease in my brow and a scowl on my lips each time I hear them? Please, if you know, comment below and tell me honestly.

I still see it now: “Pulse! Pulse! Pulse!” our instructor Kim bellowed repeatedly. I was on my toes in second position with my knees bent. Heels weren’t allowed to touch the ground, but each pulse was a beat my heel would lower to hover just above it. On fire, my calves threatened to collapse. My head would roll forward as I willed my body to trust the process. Kim was calling out encouraging exclamations, but they were drowned out by the heavy breathing and moaning of the participants as they also tried to remain obedient to the process.

Thankfully, Kim offered more than just painful words of encouragement during the reps. She offered words of refreshment, too. Those words gave me the most drive. They were words like “last one” or a glorious countdown from four. These were accepted like a thirst-quenching glass of water.

The moment that stands out best was while I was at the barre. My arms grasped the barre with desperation, shaking as I leaned back to sit in an invisible chair. From beneath my suspended body, my calves yelled at my forearms, declaring themselves to be the greater sufferers. My insistence on keeping position was driven by the fear of falling backwards onto my unprotected tailbone.

When I heard Kim’s “4—3—2—1”, I felt my adrenaline surge. With each declining number, I felt joy sneak into my psyche. By the end of the countdown, I stood in relief and pride. I did it. My friend did it. I was proud of us.

Do you know who also did it? Kim. At four months pregnant, she not only harnessed enough energy for the room, but she also demonstrated accountability to her words and participated in most of the exercises. She balanced the isolated muscle exercises with a few doses of cardio. Her positive energy and wise council for us that needed a positional adjustment made for a supportive evening.

I don’t like to be out of breath. I don’t like to be driven to a state of survival. Exercise is best enjoyed by me when there is nothing to push through. But Kim didn’t let me sit there. She pressed me onward, past my comfort zone, past my limitations, and into a victory I didn’t think was attainable. Her words challenged my initial regret in taking the class.

Barre was not what I expected, and I still think I would enjoy actual ballet more, but barre gave me a new outlook on hard things. I realized how words have tangible meaning in the context of an exercise class. These lessons were brought to me by my instructor, so I am passing them onto you, whether you make your way into a barre class or not.

We were two women who walked into a barre class. We both left tired and wobbly legged. We both will go again. So, if given the opportunity, I say give it a shot.

Stephanie Morris is a transcriptionist and writer based in Alberta, Canada. She is a wife, a mom of two, and a newcomer to the career-writing world. As a fancier of history and literature, she aspires to blend the two in fiction and nonfiction pieces. To follow Stephanie’s writing adventures, find her at @words.and.smores on Instagram.

Dancing · fitness · holiday fitness · meditation · rest · self care

Making Space 2023: Day 15

Christine HenneburyLeave a comment

While you are making space on this Friday, the 15th of December, I dare you to choose to maximize your fun.

Maximizing fun will look different for everyone so please choose something that *you* find fun, not something that is just supposed to be fun.

So, for example, if you are like my dear friend M and the idea of sorting a bunch of small items into groups sounds like a blast then have at it. If you are like me and you want to draw a bunch of stars on some paper and colour in between them, have at that. Please, please, please, just do something that appeals to YOU!

Anyway, on to our videos.

I really like the energy of The Fitness Marshall‘s videos and I was happy to see this one come up when I searched for ‘fun Friday workout.’ If you are inclined to give this ‘Lady Gaga – Just Dance/ Caleb Marshall/Dance Workout’ a try, I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

still image is of three people in workout outfits standing on gravel with trees in the background. They are each holding their right hand in a sort of OK symbol and looking through it with their right eye. They are all making deliberately exaggerated expressions.

And as for meditation, I like this simple suggestion from Patrick T. Randolph and his cat, Gable. It feels playful and that’s definitely fun!

still image is of the instructor – a middle aged man wearing glasses – who is in mid-sentence. He has his eyes closed, his right hand on his chest and his left hand at chest height but closer to the camera.

About Making Space 2023:
In December 2020, Fit is a Feminist Issue blogger Martha created a tradition – a series of reminder posts to take good care of ourselves during this last month of the year when it is far too easy to get swept up in your to do list, no matter what you are celebrating or not celebrating. 


In 2021, I started doing daily December reminders with a post called Give Yourself Some Space,  and that’s how the ‘Making Space‘ December tradition began. Throughout December 2021 and 2022, I wrote a short post that included two videos – one for exercise and one for meditation – and a bit of encouragement for you to make space for yourself at this busy time of year. 


These posts are not about cramming more things into your month, they reminding you that there IS a *YOU* who is doing all of the things and that you are worth taking good care of.


Perhaps the things I suggest aren’t what you need at the moment. That’s totally ok. Perhaps you can use something else to create some space, something that will help you feel more relaxed or more in charge of your day. Just do whatever you can to give yourself a little more breathing room.


Personally, I am trying to Finish 2023 Soft so I am putting conscious effort into resting whenever I can. My overjangled nervous system needs a chance to unjangle and that process may look different every day. 


So, some of these posts may be long and some may be short but please know that every single one of them is written with the hope that you can find a little ease in your day, whatever that looks like for you.

advice · Dancing · meditation · rest · self care

Making Space 2023: Day 14

Christine HenneburyLeave a comment

Hey Team,

I hope you have found some ease in your week so far and I am wishing you a little extra space in your day.

I would also like to suggest a little challenge for you on Day 14 –

Have a look at your long to do list and pick one thing to remove, something that you have decided NOT to do. Sound good?

Ok, here’s the really challenging part – try not to immediately add something else to take its place.

Yes, I know other stuff will crop up and there are all kinds of things that aren’t officially on your paper, screen, or mental list and they will get added as time goes on but for right now, just try to keep that space, that one less thing to do, in place for a while.

ANYWAY!

Our first video for today is a 5 Minute Nia Dance Break with Vanessa Lowe from the Nia Technique channel.

Still image is of a woman with light brown skin and grey hair in braids (these may be called cornrows?), she’s wearing exercise clothes, she is smiling and her eyes are closed. She looks like she is having fun. She is in an exercise studio with a brick wall and big windows behind her. There are two more people behind her to her right. The name of the video is superimposed in white over the image.

I think I used this meditation video last year but I like the sheep in the still image so much that I am giving it another whirl. She starts by mentioning an Uber ride and I don’t know what that’s about but this a good meditation and the sheep make me happy. This is 3 Minute Relax and Relief from the channel for the Calm app.

still image shows a flock of long-haired sheep among rolling hills covered in green grass, the title of the video is superimposed in white text over the image.

About Making Space 2023:
In December 2020, Fit is a Feminist Issue blogger Martha created a tradition – a series of reminder posts to take good care of ourselves during this last month of the year when it is far too easy to get swept up in your to do list, no matter what you are celebrating or not celebrating. 


In 2021, I started doing daily December reminders with a post called Give Yourself Some Space,  and that’s how the ‘Making Space‘ December tradition began. Throughout December 2021 and 2022, I wrote a short post that included two videos – one for exercise and one for meditation – and a bit of encouragement for you to make space for yourself at this busy time of year. 


These posts are not about cramming more things into your month, they reminding you that there IS a *YOU* who is doing all of the things and that you are worth taking good care of.


Perhaps the things I suggest aren’t what you need at the moment. That’s totally ok. Perhaps you can use something else to create some space, something that will help you feel more relaxed or more in charge of your day. Just do whatever you can to give yourself a little more breathing room.


Personally, I am trying to Finish 2023 Soft so I am putting conscious effort into resting whenever I can. My overjangled nervous system needs a chance to unjangle and that process may look different every day. 


So, some of these posts may be long and some may be short but please know that every single one of them is written with the hope that you can find a little ease in your day, whatever that looks like for you.

Dancing · habits · holidays · meditation · rest

Making Space 2023: Day 12

Christine HenneburyLeave a comment

I just have a quick reminder before we go to the videos today:

Please be kind to yourself about the things you get done or don’t get done today.

You are doing the best you can with the resources you have.

And I wish you ease.

Our exercise video today is Dance For: Stress & Anxiety Release today from Tamara Nazon, a dance movement therapist.

Still image is of the instructor, a woman with brown skin and long dark hair who is wearing shorts and a tank top while she dances on a rooftop patio.

And our Mindful Meditation: 5-Minute Deep Breathing Mindful Relaxation video is from Nicklaus Children’s Hospital in Florida.

Still image is of the sun shining brightly through trees on a hillside.

About Making Space 2023:

In December 2020, Fit is a Feminist Issue blogger Martha created a tradition – a series of reminder posts to take good care of ourselves during this last month of the year when it is far too easy to get swept up in your to do list, no matter what you are celebrating or not celebrating. 

In 2021, I started doing daily December reminders with a post called Give Yourself Some Space,  and that’s how the ‘Making Space‘ December tradition began. Throughout December 2021 and 2022, I wrote a short post that included two videos – one for exercise and one for meditation – and a bit of encouragement for you to make space for yourself at this busy time of year. 

These posts are not about cramming more things into your month, they reminding you that there IS a *YOU* who is doing all of the things and that you are worth taking good care of.

Perhaps the things I suggest aren’t what you need at the moment. That’s totally ok. Perhaps you can use something else to create some space, something that will help you feel more relaxed or more in charge of your day. Just do whatever you can to give yourself a little more breathing room.

Personally, I am trying to Finish 2023 Soft so I am putting conscious effort into resting whenever I can. My overjangled nervous system needs a chance to unjangle and that process may look different every day. 

So, some of these posts may be long and some may be short but please know that every single one of them is written with the hope that you can find a little ease in your day, whatever that looks like for you.

ADHD · Dancing · holiday fitness · mindfulness · self care

Making Space 2023: Day 5

Christine Hennebury1 Comment

Hey Team,

It’s Day 5 and I’m really hoping you are figuring out how to make at least some small spaces for yourself in your day.

I’ve picked out two 5 minute videos for today (it *is* Day 5 after all!) but before we get to those, I have a suggestion for you.

If you are like me, you probably have a few big tasks in the weeks ahead that you want to have finished but you are absolutely dreading. Maybe the task feels way too big, maybe it’s a task you hate, maybe you are afraid that once you get started you’ll get stuck working on it forever…ok, maybe that last one is just me. 😉

When I have one of those tasks ahead of me, I tend to make it into ‘A Thing.’ *

I capitalized ‘A Thing’ and put it in quotes because it’s my personal shorthand for when I have let my dread of a task turn the task itself into a huge monster. It’s no longer just an annoying or difficult task, it’s a whole ‘Thing.’

And I never want to start a whole ‘Thing.’

However, experience has taught me that the only way to turn ‘A Thing’ back into a thing is to get started on it.

And often, the only way to get started is to give myself a really short amount of time to work on it. The amount of time needs to be so short that there is no way for me to actually finish it in that time. And, in fact, the amount of time is so short that I can’t even make visible progress.

My victory is not in how much I get done, it’s in spending a small amount of time on ‘A Thing.’

And usually once I have spent that small amount of time, ‘A Thing’ becomes a thing and I can make plans for how to move forward.

So, today, on Day 5 of Making Space 2023, I am going to make a little brain space for myself by working for 5 minutes – and ONLY 5 minutes – on ‘A Thing.’

Feel free to join me by working for 5 minutes on any task that might be ‘A Thing’ for you.

Remember, the 5 minutes timeframe is the victory.

This is about breaking the spell, not about making progress on the task.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled program:

This is fun 5 Minute Movement Break of Afrobeats Dance from the YouTube channel for UBC’s Rec Program –

Still image is of a man in a tank top touching his fingers to the brim of his hat. He is looking to the lower left of the screen and the background is various shades of green triangles coming to a point behind him.

I really like how this video incorporates mindfulness into an ordinary activity, referring to it as an ‘informal’ meditation. This is a 5 Minute Mindful Coffee Break from Katie McLaughlin’s YouTube channel. Feel free to drink tea instead, I did!

The still image is of a latte in a white cup. Someone’s fingers are visible around the base of the cup and they are pouring cream (milk?) onto the surface to create a flower-like shape. (I don’t drink lattes or any coffee at all so I may have all of the terms wrong here.)

*I’m not sure if the whole ‘A Thing’ thing is an ADHD tendency or if it is an everybody tendency but I hope it comes in handy for you either way.

About Making Space 2023:

In December 2020, Fit is a Feminist Issue blogger Martha created a tradition – a series of reminder posts to take good care of ourselves during this last month of the year when it is far too easy to get swept up in your to do list, no matter what you are celebrating or not celebrating. 

In 2021, I started doing daily December reminders with a post called Give Yourself Some Space,  and that’s how the ‘Making Space‘ December tradition began. Throughout December 2021 and 2022, I wrote a short post that included two videos – one for exercise and one for meditation – and a bit of encouragement for you to make space for yourself at this busy time of year. 

These posts are not about cramming more things into your month, they reminding you that there IS a *YOU* who is doing all of the things and that you are worth taking good care of.

Perhaps the things I suggest aren’t what you need at the moment. That’s totally ok. Perhaps you can use something else to create some space, something that will help you feel more relaxed or more in charge of your day. Just do whatever you can to give yourself a little more breathing room.

Personally, I am trying to Finish 2023 Soft so I am putting conscious effort into resting whenever I can. My overjangled nervous system needs a chance to unjangle and that process may look different every day. 

So, some of these posts may be long and some may be short but please know that every single one of them is written with the hope that you can find a little ease in your day, whatever that looks like for you.

Dancing · fitness

Sam, her new knees, and her Muppet dance moves, survive Zumba

Sam BLeave a comment
Zumba!

Well, I resolved to try a new class at the gym, possibly Zumba. And I did. And it was Zumba.

OMG. That was hard. But also a lot of fun.

On the hard side, wow, there is just no way for me to keep up with those dance moves. It was pretty complicated (for me) choreography and very fast paced.

But, and here’s the fun part, I spent so much time concentrating on the dance moves that the time flew by. Also, I don’t think anyone–except maybe two or three people in the class–could really keep up. It was also the most diverse group of women I’ve seen at my fancy new gym. It was all women even though the class was in the coed fitness studio.

It helped that it was dark, with flashing lights, and really all eyes were on the instructor.

When I got completely lost I just danced and that was fun too. And when it got extra complicated I either concentrated on the foot moves or the arm moves, but not both. I told the instructor at the beginning of the class about my knee surgery so if I was modifying anything she’d know why. That said, I really didn’t need to modify anything for knee reasons, just for complicated dance move reasons.

I did need the class to go about half the speed it was going. I think I need seniors’ Zumba or maybe just beginners’ Zumba. After I chatted with the instructor about how challenging it was. She reassured me that I did fine and said, “Well, you’ve got some moves.” Muppet dance moves!

Will I go back? YES!!! Will I also practice some beginner Zumba at home? Also, YES!!!

Question: Are you a Zumba fan? How on earth do you keep up? Advice appreciated!

Two male girafffes fighting in a way that looks like dancing. Learning more about bodies from dancing animals and physical therapy
body image · Dancing · fitness

Learning more about bodies from dancing animals and physical therapy

catherine w

Every chance I get, I share the dance song “I like to move it” video from the animated movie Madagascar. There are several reasons for this:

  • it’s got a killer dance beat
  • it’s funny
  • the animals all dance in interesting and animated-body-appropriate ways, but also in very different ways, depending on their bodies.

Watching it recently (yes, I shared it in this post) I was struck by how watching the hippo dance (apologies, I forget her name) puts me at a crossroads. I can laugh… or I can enjoy and appreciate the exaggerated ways her animated self expresses joy in movement.

Gloria– that’s her name– the hippo in the movie Madagascar, doing her booty dance to the end credits.

And then there’s Melman the giraffe, who also dances, sometimes with Gloria:

Hippo Gloria and giraffe Melman dancing cheek to cheek.

Giraffes probably have the textbook exaggerated and ungainly body– both in life and in cartoons. But they run and bend and stretch and (at least in movies) dance. Their repertoire of movements are also fascinating.

Which brings me to physical therapy. On Wednesday I was doing my hip exercises for sciatica, looking around the room to see what everyone else was up to. What did I see?

  • an older person with lots of flexibility stretching her hamstring;
  • a teenager recovering from an ankle sprain, bouncing a ball while standing on one foot on a foam cushion;
  • a 40-something, new to PT, doing gentle shoulder range-of-motion in work clothes;
  • an older person, one month after knee replacement, getting flexibility checked;
  • and me, working hard, sweating, enjoying the effort of strengthening my 60-something body.

All of us were there with different bodies with their own structure, vulnerabilities and history. We were all there to improve our movement while healing. We didn’t all like to move-it-move-it, but we did (move it, that is). We were all using the bodies we came in with and getting help with strength and flexibility and stamina.

I’m almost through my round of PT, and I’m happy with the results. I’m just as happy to get this infusion of body acceptance. And of course, to be reminded of those fabulous dancing animals… 🙂

Readers, have you danced this week? If so, let me know. If not, how about putting on a track and moving your body, however it does that?

Dancing · fitness · Guest Post

Dance Like You’re Watching

Words & S’mores

On a March evening in 2020, I stood in front of a mirror and inspected my outfit. The shiny faux leather pants and ruby red, sequin-covered asymmetrical top was not part of my usual wardrobe, but I had to admit that I loved the spicy vibe of my reflection. My hair was slicked back in a half-updo, and my makeup was begging for a night out. While I wasn’t about to go out to the club, I was going to satisfy my efforts by taking my ruby lips to the dance studio for some professional photos.

My outfit from the 2020 dance class. A red sequined sleeveless top is draped over a folded pair of black faux leather pants. A pair of black jazz shoes are crossed and are positioned on top of the draped top.
My outfit from the 2020 dance class.
A red sequined sleeveless top is draped over a folded pair of black faux leather pants. A pair of black jazz shoes are crossed and are positioned on top of the draped top.

Six months earlier, my sister and I had enrolled in an adult jazz dance class. Both of us had danced when we were younger, and, even though I was 12 the last time that I performed a jazz routine, at 29 I found myself anxiously excited to be hitting the dance floor again. Thankfully, the other ladies, all of whom were wives and mothers, were of similar expertise. And, thankfully, my jazz shoes from 17 years prior still fit.  

The photography session signified the beginning of dance festival season. Our group was working hard at getting our routine down for our first performance. We were slotted for Saturday, March 21 at 7:40 PM—the last slot of the evening. This is notable because this meant that the only people left in the audience to watch us would be the dance teams that made it to the Showcase. If you are a stranger to the dance world, the Showcase is the portion of the show where high-ranking dance teams get to perform an extra time. Our slot was right before the Showcase, so the theatre would be filled with the most passionate and skilled dancers of the festival.

For a group of adult ladies whose days were filled with prioritizing the well-being and success of our family members, being the center of attention on a stage in front of a passionate audience was a daunting concept. It would have been easy for one of us, or even all of us, to back down from the opportunity. We didn’t need to be on display or to prove our worth to a crowd of strangers. We could keep our private dance class as our escape-from-domestic-duties success story.

I don’t know what it was that drove us all to accept the festival invitation. Perhaps it was an internal desire to be more than what our lives as moms and wives were dictating for us. Perhaps it was the song that our dance instructor chose for us. Perhaps it was both.

The song? Jennifer Lopez’s “Ain’t Your Mama.” I don’t think our instructor knew the significance of her song choice, though perhaps she was more perceptive than what I gave her credit for. The lyrics portray a woman expressing to her spouse that she will no longer be the sole-carrier of their domestic and relational responsibilities—she would no longer act as his mother.

It was relatable subject matter. Even if our husbands weren’t helpless like the man in the lyrics, we could all relate to the mental exhaustion that comes from mothering. Not only do women have the societal pressure to be the perfect wife and mother, but they also have the pressure of bearing it all without complaining. The perfect wife and mother is someone who absorbs the mental load of her family and carries the responsibilities of being a household manager with the ease of a business woman carrying a briefcase into a high-rise. Unfortunately, as we mamas frequently discussed at dance class, reality makes this perfection unattainable.

And that’s okay. The writers of J-Lo’s song offer another option for women. We don’t have to carry the weight ourselves. We can carry the briefcase while our husbands carry the grocery bags and our children carry their own backpacks. Perhaps performing at the festival meant that we could normalize that type of reality for ourselves and the audience, most of whom were bound to be mothers.

But it was not to be.

Based on the date mentioned at the beginning, you can conjecture what happened to our festival plans.

“Effective immediately The Arden Theatre is postponing and/or cancelling all shows and events in the theatre until April 29…Thank you for your patience and cooperation as we all navigate this unexpected and unfortunate situation.”

Facebook post by the Arden Theatre, March 13, 2020.

That was it. The show would not go on.

While part of me was relieved to not perform in front of a dance-loving audience, another part of me mourned. The months of learning choreography and honing each dance move with countless across-the-floor exercises had been enjoyable. There was delight in knowing us women chose to spend our precious time with each other among mirrored walls and ballet bars. At the end of every class, we stretched in silence, feeling too exhausted to talk. Yet, when it was time to leave, we all departed with notes of assurance that we would see each other the following week. Performing with these ladies to “Ain’t Your Mama” would have been a empowering experience. I would have loved envisioning myself as a spectator watching a group of women own their independence and worth. I would have danced like I was proudly watching myself.

While my short time in that dance class had ended in a less-than-ideal way, I don’t regret it. I am proud of myself for taking the time to step out of my day-to-day, spend time with my sister, and participate in a group activity that offered fitness and fellowship.

So, if the opportunity to join an adult dance class presents itself, may I encourage you to extend a jazz hand and seize it. Even if you don’t end up performing or dancing to J-Lo, it can be a richly rewarding experience.

Stephanie Morris is a transcriptionist and writer based in Alberta, Canada. She is a wife, a mom of two, and a newcomer to the career-writing world. As a fancier of history and literature, she aspires to blend the two in fiction and nonfiction pieces. To follow Stephanie’s writing adventures, find her at @words.and.smores on Instagram.

Dancing · holiday fitness · holidays · meditation · self care

Making Space 2022: Day 30

Christine Hennebury

Before you read this post, I dare you to make some space in your body by:

  1. Rolling your shoulders back and dropping them away from your ears
  2. Relaxing your jaw – maybe even moving your lower jaw back and forth
  3. Releasing your breath with a sigh and then inhaling slowly

Okay, now that you have a little extra space in your body, let’s get back to making a little extra space in your future for you.

What can you put in place now (or at least soon) that will make it a little easier for future you to take the space that they need?

Could you clear a corner for your yoga mat to stay rolled out?

Could you make sure you are stocked up on your favourite teas?

Could you put your journal and your pens next to the space where you usually write?

Could you put a recurring ‘meeting’ on your calendar that is actually some time for you to spend doing something that refreshes you?

Could you make a playlist of songs you like or exercise videos you want to try so it is waiting for you when you need it?

Could you plan time with a friend?

Could you book an appointment with your counsellor/therapist/social worker/psychologist/chiropractor/physiotherapist/personal trainer? (Only you know which one(s) you may need in the future.)

I know that most of us *need* space in our lives for ourselves but, of course, I can’t know what kind of specific space you need – that’s up to you.

And if you also don’t know what you need, perhaps you can start with a little extra time in your schedule to write/draw/meditate/walk/roll/dance – I’m sure you will be able to figure it out as you go.

No matter what, starting out with a plan – even a very loose one – will help make you feel like making space for yourself is just one of the things you do on a regular basis. And, once you feel that way, it should get easier and easier to make that space – even if it is just a few minutes at a time.

And, of course, when I mention future you, that could be the you of 30 seconds in the future, it doesn’t just have to be the you of next week.

In fact, I hope you can find ways to make space for all of the future yous and I hope you can find ease and joy in the process – even if it gets tricky sometimes.

Here are today’s videos – for now you and future you – have fun with them!

A seated workout from the Improved Health YouTube channel entitled ‘Bee Gees SEATED Workout | Chair Exercises for Seniors | Stayin’ Alive & Night Fever | 1970’s Workout. The still image features the instructor wearing exercise clothes and sitting on a chair in front of a circular wall decoration. She has her left arm extended with her finger pointing at the ceiling and her right arm extended with her finger pointing toward the floor. Her right leg is bent with her toe touching the floor near the chair, her left leg is extended out in front of her with her left toe touching the floor.
A meditation from the Great Meditations YouTube channel entitled ‘Guided Meditation to Enjoy This Life.’ The still image features a cartoon image of a person seated on a dock with water behind them. Their legs are crossed and the backs of their hands resting on their legs (their palms are upward) with each of their thumbs touching the index finger on the same hand.

About Making Space 2022

In December 2020, Fit is a Feminist Issue blogger Martha created a tradition – a series of reminder posts to take good care of ourselves during this last month of the year when it is far too easy to get swept up in your to do list, no matter what you are celebrating or not celebrating. Last year, it was my turn and after an introductory Go Team post called Give Yourself Some Space, I created a series of reminders called ‘Making Space‘ that offered a suggested short exercise video and a suggested meditation in case you needed an easy way to find space for yourself in your schedule.

For 2022, I’ll be doing the same thing but I’ll also be including a link to Martha’s post from the same date in 2020 and I’ll offer a few extra ideas for relaxation, creativity, and self-kindness here and there.

These posts are not about insisting that you do more, more, more during this busy season. Instead, I want to encourage you to remember that there IS a *YOU* who is doing all of the things and you are worth taking good care of.

Perhaps the things I suggest aren’t what you need in the moment. That’s totally ok. Perhaps you can use something else to create some space, something that will help you feel more relaxed or more in charge of your day.