Whether you call it kindness or you use a ten-cent-word like altruism, the world needs a lot more of it right now and the Action for Happiness calendar for August is a great place to start.
As always, the calendar is full of small practices that almost anyone could try but if you don’t feel up to the practice of the day, it’s totally cool to be kind in a whole different way. I’m sure you have a huge repertoire of kind actions you can take at any time.
In fact, even though this calendar is about being kind to others, it’s also a swell idea to practice being kinder to ourselves – these Self-Compassion Practices from Dr. Kristin Neff are a good place to start.
And the small actions are the most important part.
It’s pretty easy to get caught up in waiting to do a big project or to solve a big problem but to not actually be able to get started.
Doing a small thing right now is way better than developing a big thing that never actually gets done.
So, as you give these small actions a whirl, please don’t worry that you aren’t doing enough right now. It’s ok to take the small steps now and let them build over time.
Here’s the full calendar for this month and today’s action is pretty straightforward, “Ask someone how they feel and really listen to their reply.”
Good luck out there, folks!
An image of a calendar of tips for Altruistic August 2026 that features small cartoon drawings of altruistic along the bottom edge. (for example, someone is putting coins in a tin, someone else is offering noodles to a friend, someone else is picking up garbage. Each block of the calendar features an action for that day and the background of each block is either dark or light blue or dark or light green.
A video from the Action for Happiness YouTube channel entitled, “Never underestimate the power of small acts of kindness.” The still image features Vanessa King, a middle-aged woman with medium blonde hair cut in a bob with a bang. She is wearing a white top with a series of red bead necklaces looped around her neck. Text to the right of the image reads, “Kindness Matters” in red and “3 tops tips with Vanessa King” in yellow.
I interviewed Sam about her regular habit of sharing “3 good things” from her days on her personal social media feed.
EP: You often post “3 good things” on your personal socials along with photos. How long have you been doing this, and has your reason for still doing it changed since you started?
SB: I started six years ago in November. November is gratitude month, and it’s also my least favourite month of the year, so I figured it couldn’t hurt to look around and find things to be grateful for.
I’m not sure exactly when I started doing it year-round, maybe two or three years ago? I liked it so much I didn’t want to stop when November was over.
Why do I keep it up? I like the way it makes me feel. But also, and I notice this more these days, the practice itself trains me to start looking around for good things.
EP: This tracks with something I heard on a recent podcast about negativity bias. We’re wired to overfocus on the bad (to the point where we overlook the good), but intentionally practising the positive can help us rebalance. The researcher called it gain-framing, seeing experiences through a positive lens or treating setbacks as opportunities to learn. Does that match your practice?
SB: Yes, that definitely matches my experience. I do a bit of only good things and a bit of reframing. I’ve got a close family member in the hospital. Not good. But good that they’re getting the excellent medical care they need.
A woman in glasses looks through her fingers Ina square frame shape
I also share bad news. I’m one of those academics, for example, who posts about rejections. It’s not just good news. Junior scholars need to see that rejection is part of the process. I also share when I stop doing things, so it doesn’t always look like I’m doing more new things without stopping others.
EP: The podcast researcher talked about the value of sharing positive experiences with others, which reinforce them and connect us to others through that sharing. Do you think about how others receive your posts? How do you feel sharing them?
SB: I do worry sometimes that people think it’s all good things all the time, but there’s a lot of bad at work that I can’t share on social media for a whole host of reasons. Ditto bad personal news, which often involves other people, and sometimes it’s their story to tell, not mine. Sometimes I find it hard to get the valence right.
EP: It sounds like you are aware of thr bad, but it’s not always shareable. So that’s another reason why you just choose to focus on the good. And maybe that you don’t want the terrible to stop your from seeing the good?
SB: I find that seeing the good helps me understand what we’re struggling for, why it all matters. The world is a beautiful place.
We were canoe camping this past weekend and I loved the light on the water, the sounds of the birds, watching a hummingbird on the flowers, swimming with loons, basking on warm rocks after swimming in a cold lake, the taste of hot tea and cookies, swaying in a hammock and napping. So many good things.
EP: How would you recommend that others try out sharing “3 good things,” and what to do on the days when thry feel negativity bias creeping in?
SB: To be honest, I’ve skipped 3 or 4 days over the years where things were too bleak to do it. I think that’s okay. That’s life.
I keep a Google doc on my phone, called Three Good Things, for myself. But I also share on social media for the habit and the accountability. For a time I thought about starting a blog just focused on tracking workouts and sharing good things. You could do that too.
Listen to “Stepping Out of the Shadows” from Hidden Brain, hosted by Shankar Vedantam, with psychologist Alison Ledgerwood (University of California Davis).,who explores negativity bias, the deeply human tendency to hold on to what went wrong and overlook what went right. In the episode, Ledgerwood unpacks why our minds are drawn to losses and threats, and what can be done to rebalance our attention.
I found the practice quite useful at the time. Having a list of small movement prompts that felt useful, that kept me from stiffening up too much, and that could be done quickly made a huge difference for my mental health at a difficult time.
I know that I kept it up for a while but I don’t remember noticing when I fell out of the habit of doing them*
In fact, I had essentially forgotten all about them until I came across the book again this weekend and actually said, “Oh! Movement snacks! I love them.”
I flipped through the book right away and picked a movement to do (I put my arms overhead and wiggled my fingers and the like) and as I did that, I had an idea…
“Do you know what would be better than having these listed in a book? If they were on separate cards or something so I could just pick one out at a time without having to flip through them.”
And that, my friends, is how I spent a chunk of my Saturday cutting up a photocopy of the listed movements and separating them into two types.
The first group was ‘overall practices’ – like taking the stairs, parking further away, etc., and the second group was ‘quick things’ – like using a ribbon to practice balancing skills or standing on one foot to brush my teeth or stir a pot.
Now I am trying to decide the best container to hold all the movement ideas (and I strongly suspect that I will be decorating the container AND the slips of paper but I will leave that as a fun treat for Future Christine) so I can just pick one when I am so inclined.
This is from before I rediscovered the book but before I took this I was practicing getting up off the floor without using my hands for support so that’s totally a movement snack! I look a bit cranky because I wanted to be better at that project than I was. Image description: A head-and-shoulders selfie of me – a middle aged woman with a round face and shoulder length light brown hair that is kind of wavy/curly here – sitting on the floor. I am wearing a black shirt and a slightly disgruntled smirk. Behind me you can see the light green wall of my bedroom with a bunch of photos and decorations on it – including a string of star-outline lights hanging up behind me.Also, I can never seem to remember to look at the camera instead of the screen so I am looking downward a bit instead of straight ahead.
PS – Sam wrote about exercise snacks in May of this year and Catherine wrote about them in September 2024 but the ‘snacks’ they describe seem to be slightly different than the ones in Durham’s book. While she has some suggestions – taking the stairs, parking further away, etc., that are more exercise-y Durham has much more of a focus on mobility/movement rather than on getting a few minutes of cardio in. I guess that’s why the book is ‘movement snacks’ rather than ‘exercise snacks!’ Also, I agree with Catherine that using the word ‘snacks’ is much more likely to make me think of food than exercise. Don’t worry though, I make sure to have plenty of both kinds of snacks. 🙂
*My Dad actually passed away in May of 2023, just a few months after my initial post, so my timeline for those few months is blurry, to say the least.
I started the Hybrid Calisthenics routine last Monday and I swear I can feel a big difference in my movements already.
Yeah, I know, it’s unlikely that I actually have many results from a single week of focused training but my brain is convinced otherwise so I am just rolling with it.
In fact, my brain is so convinced that it isn’t fighting me on finding time to exercise every day. Instead, it has let me just get started* when I reach ‘exercise time’ each day. This is virtually unprecedented.
And I think this shift comes down to two things:
A meditation on Insight Timer called Train Like An Athlete** in which Amanda Sellers said (among lots of other helpful things), “You don’t need motivation, you need a decision.”
I swear when I heard that, I actually said ‘Oh!’ out loud.
I don’t know why that really hit home at that moment – I know perfectly well that I don’t need motivation but perhaps subconsciously I didn’t believe it until just then.
Right after I listened to the meditation, I got out of my chair and did some stretches, squats, and standing twists just to keep myself in the right frame of mind.
And later that day, when I was mowing the lawn, I reframed that chore as exercise and decided to make sure to push myself a bit harder throughout the process. My ADHD brain loved the feeling of that decision and it loved the fact that I was accomplishing two things at once.
The good feeling of DECIDING to move my body more effectively lasted through the rest of the yard work the next day and brought me right up to Monday morning when I realized that I could build on the momentum of the last two days by choosing a new exercise program and starting it RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT.
And that’s when the Hybrid Calisthenics app kind of floated into my mind.
The Hybrid Calisthenics program app is VERY straightforward and VERY clear.
I have sort of tried the program as outlined on the website before but I didn’t get very far with it because, as I now realize, I don’t do very well with just a list of exercises.
When I just have a list, I always either push myself too far and overdo it early in the process or I don’t push myself enough and I get bored with it.
So, while I love Hampton’s friendly and encouraging style on the Hybrid Calisthenics YouTube Channel I had kind of filed his program away for later. You know, the perfectly logical process of putting a program that will help you slowly build your fitness on hold until you feel fitter. (Note: please read that sentence in a dry sarcastic tone. Include an eyeroll if you can.)
But once I took a look at the app, his routine felt a lot more possible so I once again took Amanda’s advice and made two decisions 1) to give the routine a try and 2) to follow the routine as it was laid out – no second guessing, no figuring things out, just following the instructions in the app.
Before I knew it, I was doing two sets of 30 wall pushups and two sets of leg extensions, recording my progress on the app, and feeling a real sense of accomplishment.
It must have been the perfect combination and level of exercises for me because while my muscles were a bit tired the next day, they weren’t discouragingly sore and I could do the next part of the routine without strain or stress.
And now it’s a week later and I could increase my wall pushups by a few reps this morning.
All because I heard that line “You don’t need motivation, you need a decision.” and made a decision at just the right time.
Now I just have to keep deciding to show up for myself.
What’s one habit that has improved your life the most?
Martha
Planning our meals for the week: before the pandemic, we had a vague idea of what we would eat but once we were limited to a shop once a week, we planned everything. We saved money, had fun trying new recipes, and most importantly reduced our collective stress as a family. We did order in on occasion to give everyone a break. Not having to think every day what would be for dinner was a game changer. We also got better at balancing options, and having more variety. It’s a habit we’ve kept ever since.
Nat
Practicing sleep hygiene. Having a steady wind down routine that is simply charging my phone away from my bed. I then go brush my teeth and put my night guard in. I hope into bed and slap my CPAP on. I usually fall asleep within a couple minutes. I don’t use my bed for anything other than sleep and sex. I have a do not disturb mode on my phone at night. All of this has helped me sleep better and feel more focused and calm in my waking day.
Elan
I have next to no regular habits, which means I cannot compare their relative value to my life. But once a year, on New Years Day, I write in a journal. It used to be annual goals but now it’s just lists of memories and things I am grateful for. I limit myself to one page per entry per year. I cannot say how it has improved my life: perhaps that it is a living record I look forward to adding to each year is enough.
Diane
When my kid started his food snob stage as a teen, I promised him I would make a new dish from an actual recipe once a week. He moved out for university in 2012 but I kept it up. I have discovered so many interesting recipes: historical, vintage and modern, and gotten really good at using everything in my CSA basket. I think my meals are healthier (certainly higher in fibre), and there is almost no food waste.
The image is a Russian mushroom and potato soup with carrots, leeks and lots of dill.
Soup
Tracy
Daily meditation every morning before I interact with the world.
Nicole
My decades-long morning exercise practice. Whether it’s a run, going to the gym or a walk, it’s my most precious time of day.
Sam
Sleep! It’s boring but true that everything is better when you’re well rested. I’ve been an early to bed, early to rise person since I had babies and small children in my life. There’s a lot of hard things in my life and a lot of joy and fun too and I feel like sleep helps make it all better.
This month’s Action for Happiness theme is ‘Jump Back Up July’ and their calendar is full of small steps to help you build your resilience, to increase your ability to face challenges, to notice your strengths, and to be kinder to yourself.
Now, as I am sure you can guess, I don’t really think that we have to *jump* back up every single time but even staggering back up gets us back up and trying again.
Cultivating the inner fortitude to try again when things go awry, to be compassionate when we make mistakes, to ask for help when need it, to reframe challenges, and to nurture hope throughout the process can serve us well in so many areas of our lives (including fitness!) that the effort to build our resilience skills is worth the effort.
Even though many of these practices are already in my regular repertoire, I’m going to make a point of practicing them during Jump Back Up July (or Get Back Up At Your Own Pace Using Your Choice of Movements July which is more accurate for me but far less catchy. 😉 )
The ‘Jump Back Up July’ calendar from Action for Happiness. I will, of course, be using this for ‘Get Back Up At Your Own Pace Using Your Own Choice Of Movements July’ too. Image description: A calendar for July 2026 with each block coloured in a repeating pattern of dark green, light green, orange, and yellow. The text in each block is a daily tip for building the skills to ‘Jump Back Up’ and the edges of the calendar are decorated with black and white cartoon images of people doing resilience activities such as hugging someone or carefully repairing a loved object.
And here’s a tip video from Action for Happiness featuring Vanessa King:
A video from the Action for Happiness YouTube channel called ‘Coping with challenging times. Jump Back Up July with Vanessa King’ on the left side is a still image of Vanessa King, a middle-aged white-presenting woman with reddish blonde hair that is pulled back from her face on the sides and top but with her bangs curling down towards her eyebrows. She is wearing brown-framed glasses, a black shirt, and a green scarf decorated with white flowers and gold-coloured leaves. She is looking towards the camera and smiling and there are two books and a vase of flowers behind her. On the right side of the image is a light blue rectangle with text that reads ‘Resilience. Bouncing Back’ in red and ‘3 top tips with Vanessa King’ in yellow.
Here are a few links about resilience that you may want to check out:
If it has been a while, then please take this post as a sign to pat yourself on the back, congratulate yourself, and claim your gold star.
And if you congratulated yourself earlier today?
Well, pat yourself on the back, congratulate yourself again, and claim your gold star.
If you’re like me, there will be times when you are really challenging yourself and times when you are just kind of treading water.
Both are good.
In fact, the whole range of ways to show up are all good.
And I’d like you to celebrate every one of them.
I am proud of you for showing up when it’s fun and I’m proud of you for showing up when it’s annoying to be there.
And I hope that, overall, you get more fun than annoyance but here’s your gold star for your efforts either way.
Go Team Us!
I’ve been trying out gold star cards with encouraging text and I like how this one turned out. Image description: a black card with a small painting of a gold star on the left side. On the right side is a piece of white card with rounded corners that says, in black text, “ this gold star celebrates your hard work, the effort you put into showing up every time. Congratulations! I’m so proud of you.” The white card is framed in black with a gold frame outside of the black one. There is a thick gold line a little ways under the star that also extends downward underneath the white card.
I am solidly in the messy, frustrating middle of so many projects right now – fitness and otherwise.
And it is taking a lot of effort to keep working away at stuff instead of ditching everything and starting over.
The middle of any project is rarely fun but it can be especially dreadful for those of us with ADHD. The novelty has worn off, there’s a lot of trial and error, and everything seems very, very dull.
My brain really wants me to
start some new stories instead of working on ones that need revising.
try some new exercises instead of sticking with my walking/yoga/mobility routine.
buy new containers to store stuff instead of decluttering (decluttering = so many choices to make -ugh!)
try some new drawing techniques instead of improving my current skills.
invent different workshops and projects instead of finishing and promoting the ones I am already working on.
(don’t even get me started on my volunteer projects!)
But despite the noise my brain is making about this, I know that starting something new – in any category- will only be temporarily fun.
Pretty soon that new, fun thing will be at the messy middle stage and I’ll be annoyed all over again.
And, even though my brain has doubts, I know that I will REALLY enjoy when I finally finish something, when I can feel a difference in my body or my mind, and when I can see some of the progress I have made.
The only way to get to that real enjoyment is to keep inching everything forward, to add fun and novelty where I can, and to keep reminding myself that it is extra fun to actually finish something – even if that time feels very far away at the moment.
So, Team, even allowing for ADHD-related intensity, I’m pretty sure that ‘Why is the middle so annoying?’ is a pretty common feeling.
In fact, being annoyed with any part of any process seems pretty common.
You might be annoyed with the details required to get started or the details required to finish up.
You might find the middle incredibly tedious.
The unknowns at the beginning might get on your nerves.
Figuring out the last few steps might be frustrating.
All of it makes sense and it is all perfectly ok.
Sure, your frustration might lead you to use a slightly different approach or it could mean you need a little break or need a little more support.
But none of those feelings of frustration automatically suggest that this project isn’t for you.*
And when they arise, you can remind yourself that they are part of your process and then find a way to forge ahead – perhaps slowly, perhaps after a break, perhaps with a little more fun added to the mix.
I’m not saying that it is easy to do that, just that it is possible.
And your effort will be worth it.
In fact, speaking of effort, here’s our gold star for our efforts today – no matter which part of the process we are in right now.
Go Team Us!
PS – Be kind to yourself out there, pretty please.
*Meanwhile, if every part of the project is frustrating every single time, then it may be time to consider whether the project is a good fit overall.
As word of my retirement got out, I started receiving invitations to do cool things on weekdays.
One of those invitations was from my friend Heather to hang out in her garden. Oh. Maybe that was “work” but I just love her vibe and I’m happy to help anyone in the garden.
I tried to remember how we met. It was probably Food Not Lawns or The Carolinian Food Forest. It was definitely around growing plants!
In addition to gardening, we share a love of crafting, especially sewing.
I was so glad I got to see Heather this week. She procured scones and we enjoyed tea as we shared our hopes for our gardens.
Heather has beautiful gardens on all sides of her house. Some plants are for pollinators, some are for eating and still others are for pure joy.
Heather shared her motto for her garden this year: little and often. I love it and have decided I too will do a little amount of things often.
On Tuesday I was getting more work done on my tattoo. Kaley shared she had been doing some chopping of roots with her wife.
“I don’t know why gardening is framed as a gentle activity. I’m always moving wheelbarrows of stuff, lifting, digging, it’s hard work!”
Kayley is very wise. I often get caught up in puttering in the garden and forget how hard I’m working. A bit of weeding and light pruning can drift to chopping down a tree and hacking away at roots. Two days later wondering why my hamstrings are sore.
“Little and often” works not only my gardening efforts but also my crafting and writing. My goal is sustainable efforts that avoid burnout or injury.
Two hours in the garden caused me some lower back pain and some tender muscles. It’s humbling that what used to be a reasonable effort is now a bit too much, at least early in the season.
So I’m changing my expectations. I’m going for 30 minutes at a time for gardening, an hour at writing, crafting and housekeeping. Small, continuous progress always yields satisfying results.
I am so glad Heather shared her motto with me.
A pretty garden with a bicycle decoration. The best things in life!
I’m not big on following trends, especially those using terms like “maxxing” but this one made me laugh because I may be a trendsetter.
What is nonnamaxxing? Apparently, it’s a viral TikTok thing that encourages people to adopt the habits of an Italian grandmother, or “nonna.” Things like cooking from scratch, daily walking, gardening, long family meals, real-world social interaction and reduced screen time.
I don’t do all of these things (especially screen time), but I do love to cook from scratch, garden, go for walks or bike rides, and chat with friends.
As the Miami Herald says, movement, real food, social connection and mindset are the pillars of a nonna lifestyle.
An older woman in white shirt and pants enjoys a walk along the beach
