Remember in 2020 when the test to sit on the floor and get up without using your hands was everywhere? It was touted as a sure fire way to measure your health and fitness, especially if you are a senior.
Cheerful chairs without arm rests.
It always seemed to me that it was a test you could train to improve results. Would that training correlate to better healthspan or a longer life? I was never convinced.
Fast forward to last week and I was chatting with Dad. He was marveling at a woman my age getting up from a chair without using her hands.
I laughed and showed him that I too could stand up and sit down into a chair without using my hands.
My adult kids chimed in, sharing stories of people who flop down rather than descending under control. It’s not something one always has awareness of.
I shared that two years ago, when my knee was injured, I needed help getting up off the couch.
I would use the arm of the couch to help launch myself. It was painful and humbling.
Today I can lower myself well past 90 degrees to sit and get back up without assistance from others or using my hands. I credit good physiotherapy, deadlifts and squats for helping me regain the necessary leg and core strength .
This squat variation is much better than the more popular diddly squat.
I recounted this story with my physiotherapist, Emily, and we spoke about both “tests”.
Emily shared that in evaluating seniors careful attention was paid to how they sit down or stand up from a chair.
It’s a key activity in daily living and crucial in preventing falls, especially in the bathroom.
I grew up in a rural neighborhood bordering on woods. I spent a lot of my childhood playing, resting and walking in nature.
Today I still find comfort in watching a river flow and listening to the birds.
Seated in St Croix, New Brunswick, Canada overlooking a patch of the St Croix River. On the far side is Vanceboro, Maine, USA.
Yesterday my paternal grandmother, Joyce, was laid to rest. We had a graveside service.
People, especially those in my family, are sometimes hard for me to understand. They are complex and ever changing. I don’t often know what to do or say, especially when I’m sad.
Someone once told me grief is love with no place to go. I have an abundance of love looking for a home and I’m thankful for family and friends who are happy to receive it.
I find solace walking, looking at plants and insects. It’s something I never tire of. My plant and insect friends are unbothered by my tears and messy feelings. They just accept me where I am at. I’m so grateful.
A blurry shot of Blue-eyed grass, one of my very old plant friends.
Having stopped spending time being paid to do things has me thinking a lot about my “free” time and how I’m investing it in my fitness goals as well as helping others.
Working out
Gym memberships and classes are times when we pay others so we can protect our unpaid time to invest in our well-being and fitness. It’s something many of the bloggers and readers can identify with, ensuring we dedicate time to our fitness and well-being.
In relationships with partners, parents, children and friends the uneven burden of care still exists with women and femme folks shouldering most of the work.
Logistics of Longevity
From booking of medical and dental appointments to tracking how much extended benefit coverage is left for a massage or physiotherapy for the family, it’s often women doing that work in our unpaid time.
Sometimes my support of our family’s fitness goals looks like running to the bike shop each week getting tire irons, tubes, and yet another pair of gloves. Where are the gloves going?
Other times it is meal planning, groceries, sharing garden bounty with friends and preserving food.
It is also sorting through piles of mismatched socks. Sam introduced me to The Annual Mating of the Socks one year and I continue to do it each fall. It’s the time of year when I reach for socks and can’t find them.
In spring, I can never find my cycling gloves. Just one, lonely white light weight cycling glove sitting among the pile of larger, black, heavy duty ones Michel favours.
Health and Philanthropy
Twenty years ago I remember organizing the Canadian Cancer Society door to door campaign. This fundraising was built on the availability of women in rural communities organizing their neighbourhoods into teams. A team captain, often a woman who also ran the women’s auxiliary at the legion, the church fundraisers as well as Heart and Stroke, Diabetes Canada and our daffodil days fundraisers.
These women organized and collected millions of dollars, often $5 at a time. They would dutifully write out each paper receipt, balance books, and provide reporting. It was a lot. As more women needed to work off the farm or outside of the home they no longer had the unpaid time to organize door to door campaigns. Besides, no one was home to answer the door anymore. So these vital fundraising campaigns gave way to other means of gathering funds.
Where my “free” time goes
In the fourth week of my retirement I’ve helped a friend in her garden, driven another to a medical appointment, and had a doctor’s appointment for myself. I provided support to both of my adult childeren who are going through all the things people in their mid to late 20s go through.
My road bike, Ethyl, tucked in a toilet stall on Sunday.
I did find time for cycling Sunday, Friday and this morning. My daily dog walks with Michel continue to ensure I get lots of movement in my day.
My commuter bike, Myrna, showing off our haul of wild garlic from a trip on Friday.
I hosted my writing friends and we are ensuring we stay focused on getting more writing done. I’m pretty sure blog posts count.
Family Matters
Tomorrow I’m packing my bag to head to New Brunswick for my grandmother’s interment and visit with my parents. My kids are joining me. While down east I am going to ask that someone have a marriage or a baby so I can have a happy excuse to travel rather than another sad one.
I am only able to go see my family because I am retired. Otherwise, I would have already used up most of my vacation. It is the point of having more unpaid time, to be there for my family.
I’m still working on finding the balance between my needs and everyone else’s. My friend Net reassured me that after a few months I will find a more sustainable pace in retirement. I hope she’s right!
This week flipped that upside down and lit it on fire.
I started on the holiday Monday with a list of things that needed to be done before fence replacement work would start on Wednesday.
My youngest kid, Jean, came over. We dug up plants to move them out of danger. We moved and flipped the contents of two composters.
Michel cleaned out our garage and mowed.
Dividing and conquering we got lots done.
Tuesday was even more frenetic gardening.
Wednesday my contractor arrived and I puttered around outside and kept myself available.
Thursday I gardened at my place for three hours before flitting over to Heather’s for some visiting, snacking and, oh yes, two solid rounds of weeding. Then back home for more outdoor work.
Nat grimacing at the camera. Her face says “not so little but very often”
Friday, more work on my gardens in the morning and time with my friend Phyllis in the afternoon. I brought her scant amount of transplants and in return she filled my car with plants.
I got home, had a light dinner then quickly set to work planting all my new plants so that Saturday’s rain will help them adapt to their new home.
This has been a boon to my average step count. I’ve been averaging 9,500 a day over the past year. This week I averaged over 13,000.
A bar graph showing values for each day of the last week ranging from 8,000 to 18,000 steps on a given day.
Somewhere in there I had physiotherapy and a massage. I’m taking care not to aggravate my lower back and stick to daily physio exercises.
It is pretty typical that I put a lot of effort into my gardens in the spring. This year I feel like I’m making fast progress. I want my gardens to be lush and full of life without looking unkempt. It’s tricky because my garden is informal and uses a lot of native plants, folks sometimes think it’s merely overgrown.
Here’s to my efforts reducing a bit over the coming weeks as I focus more on writing and crafting.
If all goes well by the time this post publishes, I will be driving from Orangeville to Schomberg . I have been awake since yesterday at 5 am. So tired.
A map showing the route from London to Coburg with 435 km distance and 2,888 meters of elevation.
I’m supporting my friends’ team Chamois & Shenanigans for the 24 hour Flèche event.
A green team badge shows 5 cyclists and an SUV labeled SAG WAGON.
It’s my third time providing Support And Gear (SAG) for this event. It is a rare team event in a sport, Randonneuring, that is usually about individual efforts and self sufficiency.
There are strict rules about the support I can provide. Only at controls, pre-set resupply points, can I provide food, mechanical and first aid.
I adore this group of athletes that I lovingly call “fools”. Fred, Jim, Marc, Michel and Mike appreciate the support and recognize how I contribute to the team’s success.
I also see my role as Social Media Strategist. I document and post their progress. This reassures loved ones that everything is going well. I refer to these posts as “proof of life”. Sometimes I am too focused on a quick turnaround and forget to take pictures. Oops!
I’m thrilled that this year there is also an all women’s team, Flèche Fatales. Brenda, Jessica, Lorelei and Natalia are receiving SAG from Corina and Maria.
The team badge for Flèche Fatales shows 4 cyclists bracketed by 2 cars.
The best part of the event is all teams arriving at the destination from a variety of starting points and routes. It’s really lovely to see old friends, enjoy great food and celebrate everyone’s accomplishments.
Volunteering is crucial to amateur athletics. If you get the chance, definitely help out events in your area. The athletes are so appreciative.
4 bicycles lined up against the exterior wall of a McDonalds before 6 am.
As word of my retirement got out, I started receiving invitations to do cool things on weekdays.
One of those invitations was from my friend Heather to hang out in her garden. Oh. Maybe that was “work” but I just love her vibe and I’m happy to help anyone in the garden.
I tried to remember how we met. It was probably Food Not Lawns or The Carolinian Food Forest. It was definitely around growing plants!
In addition to gardening, we share a love of crafting, especially sewing.
I was so glad I got to see Heather this week. She procured scones and we enjoyed tea as we shared our hopes for our gardens.
Heather has beautiful gardens on all sides of her house. Some plants are for pollinators, some are for eating and still others are for pure joy.
Heather shared her motto for her garden this year: little and often. I love it and have decided I too will do a little amount of things often.
On Tuesday I was getting more work done on my tattoo. Kaley shared she had been doing some chopping of roots with her wife.
“I don’t know why gardening is framed as a gentle activity. I’m always moving wheelbarrows of stuff, lifting, digging, it’s hard work!”
Kayley is very wise. I often get caught up in puttering in the garden and forget how hard I’m working. A bit of weeding and light pruning can drift to chopping down a tree and hacking away at roots. Two days later wondering why my hamstrings are sore.
“Little and often” works not only my gardening efforts but also my crafting and writing. My goal is sustainable efforts that avoid burnout or injury.
Two hours in the garden caused me some lower back pain and some tender muscles. It’s humbling that what used to be a reasonable effort is now a bit too much, at least early in the season.
So I’m changing my expectations. I’m going for 30 minutes at a time for gardening, an hour at writing, crafting and housekeeping. Small, continuous progress always yields satisfying results.
I am so glad Heather shared her motto with me.
A pretty garden with a bicycle decoration. The best things in life!
Social connection is an important factor in wellbeing. And if the past week is any indication, I will be well for a very long time.
Three months ago I gave my notice of retirement to my boss. Halfway through my mini-speech he joked “no, you can’t leave. We are supposed to win at capitalism together!”
And that joke set the tone of the next three months. Once we had settled on a plan we let my team know my retirement date and put a call out for my replacement.
Then something unexpected happened. My in office days became much more social. People I knew but didn’t see much in my current role started dropping by my desk or talking to me in the cafeteria.
It was a gentle touch on my arm, a smile or a hug. Sometimes it was a teasing or a confession of jealousy. All of it gifts of connection that just kept coming.
Part of me worried that this long goodbye was self indulgent. I know plenty of people who pull an “Irish Goodbye”. It’s when you just walk out of work and no one knows you have retired.
I’m here to tell you to not do that. If, like me, you have the privilege of choosing when you leave your paid work, choose a long goodbye.
Your colleagues need time to hear the news, come see you and bring you stories.
I worked in production when I joined Canada Life (then London Life). Two years in I became a leader. I’ve led 8 teams over 9 years. That’s a lot of people!
And so many of them reached out.
“Thank you for treating me like a human being.”
I’m crying just writing that. It seems like such a low bar to meet. To just relate to each other as people who matter. And we do matter.
I was told so many stories about how I helped someone through tough times by caring and being flexible.
There is definitely one person who is alive today because I took their mental health concerns seriously. Talk about making a difference.
I was delighted how many people told me they read this blog about fitness. Some folks follow me on Instagram or have added me on Facebook to see my morning cycling commute videos.
“Will you keep posting about cycling?”
Turns out those quick, off-the-cuff videos encourage lots of folks to be more active. What a gift to know I help them.
So many parties
This past week I went out 4 nights with different groups of friends to say goodbye. It was marvelous. So many good laughs and hugs.
Princess planned her own party
Since I’m technically just quitting my job there was no formal retirement company gift or funds for a party. So I decided I’d just put the word out that people could say goodbye Thursday morning 10 – 11:30 in a common use space near the cafeteria.
I invited a couple hundred people expecting maybe 30 to show up.
In the weeks running up to the day declines and quick messages trickled in.
“I’m still sick.”
“My dad’s in hospital.”
“I’m out of town.”
I had a creeping concern I’d be sitting by myself in a tiara feeling stupid. That fear is why many people choose not to have a reception.
Uh. My fears were unfounded. My colleague baked THREE CAKES. As she was unboxing them people started arriving, then forming a queue. The line-up went out the door, around the corner and down the hall.
My buddy dressed in her inflatable dinosaur costume. It was a carnival atmosphere.
A crowd in a hallway. In the distance you can see a dinosaur. Thank you Marc for the photo!
The line was full of laughter and folks being delighted to see other friends and connecting.
The line was so long some people had to leave for meetings and sent quick notes after.
Sharing is caring
Sharing fitness adventures at work, posting fitness stuff on LinkedIn where everyone is focused on business is so important. Our activities can give us a common base to build on. It helps us see each other as full people, not just interchangeable production units.
Long post, long goodbyes
I’m writing this Saturday morning while eating more cake with my coffee.
I’m looking at the mountain of thoughtful gifts and funny cards. People took time to know me and the gifts reflect the crafty, active plant lady I am. How marvelous.
A giant “love fern” is surrounded with cards and gifts.
Don’t forget the swearing
I’m known for cussing a blue streak in meetings. People find it hilarious. So when my team gave me a goodbye card I was delighted it read “Thanks for leaving us behind, asshole.” I couldn’t stop laughing.
They 3D printed a gift card holder “Fucking quitter. Oops we mean HAPPY RETIREMENT”
I’m still laughing. Perfect!
So. Yes. Long story longer. The long goodbye makes room for connection and closure. 10/10 I will long goodbye again.
Last Saturday morning I got a text from Cate, fellow blogger and extraordinary human, shortly after my post was published.
“One more resource is your friends and the ppl who think you are awesome — I send you a huge hug”
And I have to say, I’m blessed with a spectacular group of friends. From queer community to fitness bloggers to colleagues…I get so much love and encouragement. I have people I can ugly cry with.
My beloved and I often talk about the importance of social connection and a sense of belonging, especially as it relates to wellbeing.
Keeping social connections is highly gendered. This oldie but a goodie article from the New York Times explores the uneven burden but also the well being gains for women.
People expect that I, as a cisgendered woman, will seek out and maintain connections. Michel, as a cisgendered man, is seen as odd, even creepy. It’s weird.
We have shared friends and family. We also have our individual pursuits and friends. I enjoy his friends and he mine.
So yes Cate, you are a part of my strategy for coping and celebrating.
And if you are reading this thinking you haven’t heard from a friend for a while reach out and offer a hug, a hike or a heckin’ good time.
It will make all the difference to you both.
Some friends hanging out enjoying a sunset overlooking water.
Spring has arrived and with 1 month to go until I retire, how have I embraced “create”?
Creating Space
I organized and furnished my home office as a way to shift my thinking about this space. I’ve re-named it my studio. My creative hobbies include writing, music, drawing, and a distressing number of handicrafts.
A short, white shelving unit is tucked under a window with wine rack sections filled with yarns. The bottom is rows of drawers filled with an undisclosed number of handicrafts.
Socializing around artful activities
I have to credit my dear friend Jess with this one. She and I are committed to learning how to make things. We recently participated in a really great screen printing workshop at Museum London facilitated by Soft Flirt. She took a short video demonstrating how to pull the ink over the screen on her Instagram account.
A whit bandanna with 4 starbursts, a denim patch with an eye, and two tea towels with bold geometric designs. I am so pleased how they turned out!
Getting creative about working out
Recently, Michel and I have had especially hectic schedules. We renovated the basement which included our workout space. So we brought weights into the living room, used elastic bands, body weight exercises and lots of stretching and physiotherapy.
Protecting time to write
I’m working on a book and I’m so fortunate to be in a tiny trio of a writing group with Vanessa Brown & Karen Hendry. They have both published books over the more than 10 years we have been meeting.
We tried a new monthly accountability deadline and meet up to support and provide feedback.
Of all the things I have done, this is the one that has bolstered my creative output the most.
Taking up the craft at hand
I struggle to complete projects. I LOVE dreaming of new projects. I enjoy buying the supplies. I get a pleasant bump when I start. Then almost immediately my mind drifts to a new project. This can get expensive and a bit overwhelming.
So I’m working through my craft “stash”. I’ve crocheted and knitted all kinds of things with existing yarn. Cotton dishcloths, a giant granny square pillow for my bed, a crossbody purse and now …now I’ve picked up the shawl kit I bought in Iceland.
The yarn is tiny, the construction unique. I’m struggling to stay committed even though it is GORGEOUS.
Curved wedges of white, orange, grey and brown are separated by glimmering strands of black, gold and copper. The pattern looks like a dragonfly wing under a microscope.
My next tasks are creating a schedule that includes regular movement and workouts.
Michel and I have a solid dog walking routine to start our day and at lunch. I want to complement that with cycling, strength training and stretching. Hopefully I won’t need as much physiotherapy if I stick to it!
Overall
I’m finding going back to “create” to challenge myself and make positive changes has really helped me this year. I feel like I’m getting back to myself.
Shipping delays meant the new mattress and frame were delivered 10 days ago. Already Michel and I are used to the new bed. Here’s our early review.
Change takes time
The first night I tossed and turned. The mattress did not feel like my “home”. I felt too high. I got less sleep. The second night I slept better than I had in ages.
Size matters!
Our dog, Lucy, sleeps with us. The three of us on a queen size bed was too crowded. Now we each have lots of room in our split king. This has meant fewer wake ups as well as less tossing and turning.
Cooling
The new mattress, mattress cover and sheets are all about airflow. I have roughly 3 hot flashes a night. I’m not as sweaty and I’m able to fall back to sleep faster. Michel is a sweaty sleeper too and has noticed a big change in being able to regulate his temperature at night.
Goodbye back pain
We have set the adjustable frame for a slight lift on our calves and a bit of lift for our heads. This has given our lower backs more support.
The hybrid mattress is firmer than our old foam one. It is also considerably less lumpy! This means I’m not waking up in the morning with a stiff or sore back.
Staggering price point
I was shocked how much a hybrid split king with adjustable frame was. All in, we invested around $10,000 Canadian. WOWSERS.
That’s a shocking amount. We had spent $1,800 on our foam mattress and frame 7 years ago.
Buyers regret?
Absolutely not. Michel and I had both been struggling to get to sleep, stay asleep and get up pain free. Since we use the bed every night the cost per night over the next ten years is $2.74. Worth. Every. Penny.
I’m grateful we could afford a new bed and thrilled we are sleeping better.
A hand on a bed that promises lots of wonderful sleep.
