I first wrote this in 2011 when I turned 50. I shared it again when I turned 60. There’s been a lot of change in my life since I last shared this. Some were really positive, while others were not (deaths of family and friends).
There’s nothing I would change except do/use/see more of what I love. I often think of this Mary Oliver insight: “Joy is not meant to be a crumb.”
1. Life isn’t a to-do list. Create a bucket list if you like, but don’t be so focused on the end that you forget to enjoy the road to your destination.
2. Life is sometimes saying to heck with the list and spending time with a loved one. Even if you have to burn the midnight oil later.
3. Letting go isn’t about losing things. Letting go is about making room for something new.
4. Life is knowing that no matter where you are, the people you love will always live in your heart. As the poet Andrea Gibson said: In the end/I want my heart/To be covered/In stretch marks.
5. Three squares a day does not mean brownies, Nanaimo bars and date crumbles (even if they do have dairy, fruit, and grains).
6. Mom was right when she said eat your veggies. Dad was right when he said reading was important. One feeds your body; the other feeds your soul.
7. If you do your best, people may not notice. If you do your worst, they surely will.
8. Being a grown-up can be fun. Yet when something you do is no longer fun, stop doing it. Remember there’s a difference in having to do something and wanting to do it. One breeds resentment; the other sustains a feeling of accomplishment.
9. Make sure your goals and dreams give you a sense of purpose you can live with. Know your limits. But don’t aim low, either.
10. Don’t expect others to take care of you but don’t be afraid to ask when you need help. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
11. Chocolate may help when things are tough, but friends are better. Have someone in your life — be they your family, your friend or your partner — that you can call at 2 am and say, “Help me.” Be that person for someone else.
12. Remember, there is nothing so big that you have to carry it all by yourself. There is no problem that doesn’t have some kind of solution that will help make things better. Starting with a cup of tea always helps. Making cookies doesn’t hurt either.
13. There is beauty in the smallest object. Flowers, even a dandelion and buttercups stuck in a juice glass, add something to your day. Micro joys are how we survive macro grief. It doesn’t have to be big to give you comfort and over time al of those mini-joys form a blanket to keep you warm.
14. Be connected to nature. Walking in the rain won’t cause you to melt.
15. Building a snowman, no matter what your age, is always an opportunity to be creative.
16. Be an explorer. Travelling doesn’t mean having to leave your city or country. It can mean leaving your neighbourhood to see what’s just beyond the next block.
17. It is amazing what laughing every day will do to change your outlook.
18. Focusing on what you have is always better than brooding on what you don’t.
19. Change is always possible, and in many cases, usually necessary. If nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies.
20. Achieving perfection isn’t all that it is cracked up to be. Joy, on the other hand, is. As the singer Nightbirde said, “You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore, before you decide to be happy.”
I’ll leave you with my favourite Cat Stevens song that encapsulates my life philosophy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYMQpDCVYBo
MarrthaFitat55 is embracing her mid-60s with delight.
