I go to a Monday night meditation at a Buddhist center. The format is a 30-minute sit. That’s it. No teaching. No social element. Arrive. Pay $5. Settle on a cushion or chair. Sit in mostly silence with a tiny bit of guidance from the teacher. End. Leave. I love it.
The space is one of those improbable tiny spaces in New York. One room with chairs and cushions on the floor. An altar. Colourful fabrics. Images of many-limbed deities and the teacher who founded the particular lineage. Candles. Fake flowers. And a bathroom. My habit is to arrive early, so I can get one of the few zazen cushions on the floor. I prefer that to a chair. The ambience is low key, cozy and welcoming.
The past several weeks a new person has been coming. A man whose life, I’m guessing, is not in the best place. When he arrives, he goes into the bathroom and spends some time in there. It sounds like he is hacking up his lungs and spitting. Over and over. I’m glad I live a few blocks away, so I never need to use the bathroom.
At first, I was disgusted. I could feel my body tensing and had to work to keep my face from showing my feelings. Then, last week, as we were meditating, I started wondering what this man was teaching me. About the limits of my compassion. I thought about all the things I didn’t know about his life. I wondered if he had a home. I thought about the irony of feeling uncomfortable with humanness, while at a meditation center. A practice in which we are so often guided to simply sit with what is, to welcome the moment, to be with discomfort.
When the meditation ended, we nodded at each other and said goodbye, as I did with the others present.
Walking home, I noticed in myself a bit of pride arising around that nod and being more welcoming with this man, as if somehow my welcome was a gift to him. Then I turned on myself for being self-aggrandizing. Disgusted with myself. Was I even being welcoming or was I just tolerating? Round and round I went on the wheel of judging myself. Caught in the spiral that self-awareness can become. I reminded myself to breathe into the tightness in my chest and face. To be with my feelings.
I still don’t love the sound of all the hacking and spitting. He wasn’t at meditation this past week. I hope he’s okay.
I made it through October and now I’m arriving at my office in the dark, biking home in the dark, and there’s white stuff falling from the sky as I type. November is a month of many things, including cold and here in Canada, the start of snow. November is also a month of challenges. […]
Do I still have a bunch of updates, some posts I promised, and a handful of drafts that I *should* be posting?
Well, yes.
But you know how I feel about the word should…(I hate it)
So, here I am on Monday, November 2 writing about my ideas for the month ahead instead of catching up on the various posts that I haven’t gotten to.
Luckily, catching up on those posts is one item on my list so it all works out. Or, at least, it CAN work out. 🙂
Now, let’s roll with my fitness & well-being ideas for November 2026.
Finish the 4 posts/updates I have partially drafted for Fit is a Feminist Issue
These posts are open loops and my brain would like to close them. Meanwhile, my brain is not keen to actually work on them, it just wants them to be done. Soooo, I am breaking them down into teeny steps and working on them bit by bit – which is always a good thing for me to practice and will be beneficial for my mental health.
Do at least 11 ten minute yoga practices for my upper back.
My shoulders, upper back, and neck are pretty cranky these days and a daily practice feels out of reach but 11 is an odd number (in both senses of the word) of practices to do and that feels appealing to me.
Have cake with at least one person per week in November
This is less about the cake than the conversation but I am kind of cheating with this one. My birthday is next week and at least 6 other people close to me have birthdays this month so it will not really be a challenge to pull this one off. It will definitely be good for my mental health though.
I don’t know why I drew this little robot on a slant but I like it. Image description: a drawing of a small smiling green robot holding a pink heart in one hand and a plate holding a cupcake with a lit candle in it in the other.
Restart my strength training
If you recall, I was doing the Hybrid Calisthenics program for over 6 weeks this summer. Then I did something to my back (unrelated to the program) and had to take a break. I got back into it but then it fell by the wayside as my busy fall made exercise math too complicated to solve.*
I’m starting the program again on Wednesday (November 4) because I know I have time that morning.
Schedule time for reading and writing
This one covers a lot of different activities but I have scheduled myself some weekly time for reading and understanding some important non-fiction books I have set aside, I have signed up for my friend Trudy’s ‘Finish That Book’ course (I have a draft written but I need guidance for turning it into something I could publish), and I am doing some short daily writing exercises.
I know these books don’t have titles but I didn’t want to commit at this point – ha! Image description: a drawing of a stack of books on a table. The bottom book is purple, the next one is yellow, next is green, and the top one is pink. The table cloth is decorated in small yellow, green, and pink polka dots.
Yard work and a fire in the firepit
In general, I do a half-assed job in prepping my yard for the winter but this year I am consciously making time to tidy things up and ensure that I have less work to do in the spring when I want to enjoy my outdoor space even more.
The fire in the firepit is a bonus for the outdoor work. I really like being a bit chilly while sitting by the fire with a cup of tea and some time to think.
Go for one longer walk each week in November
I walk with Khalee almost every day but it’s more of a stroll than a walk and she’s not so keen on longer walks these days (she’s thirteen so that’s to be expected.)
I sometimes find myself wanting to go a bit further, a bit faster, and do a bit more hard work on my walks but I don’t always fit that into my week so I am starting with one longer walk a week to see how that feels. (I’m trying to reduce my all-or-nothing thinking in all areas of my life.)
Do 11 hours of decluttering/rearranging/tidying in my house
Again, the odd number has a certain appeal for me here.
I don’t want to set myself a project of ‘declutter the house’ because there is no clear end to that project.
And trying to do a little bit each day doesn’t feel very useful (I know it IS objectively useful but my brain refuses to believe it) so I needed another solution that would have a definite conclusion.
So, 11 hours it is and I can do those 11 hours in whatever size chunks I like.
Have another art day with my friends
Through a series of coincidences, I ended up spending a few hours on the weekend collaging with some dear friends of mine and it was a wonderfully relaxing couple of hours.
I want to do that again this month but on purpose. Maybe as part of my birthday celebration.
10. Plan at least one thing to bake each week
I used to bake a lot more often than I do now and I think the issue is that I am waiting for the magical combination of free time and motivation.
Of course, we all know that those things don’t just appear together regularly, we have to create the conditions for them to show up.
So, this week I am going to make a cinnamon coffee cake.
But I will defy its very name and eat it while I have tea.
11. Plan my December fun
I have learned my lesson from my October plans! I didn’t finish everything that I had on my October list but making the plan kept my ideas top of mind and it helped me choose to have more fun throughout the month instead of putting it off until the end.
So, throughout November, I will be making deliberate choices about what to include in my December plans so I can do what needs doing while increasing my capacity and my opportunities to have fun.
*****
So, there it is, my November list.
Will I get all of this done? Who knows?
Does it matter? Definitely not!
Having this list will help me shape my days and my weeks and my month and I am determined to keep checking in with myself about the items on here.
Maybe I will change my mind about some of them. Maybe I will reshape what some of them mean for me. Maybe I will do some of them exactly as I have written them.
Either way, having this guideline will make it easier to choose what to do with my time and it will give me some interesting information about what I want in my life and what feels good to include in my days.
What kinds of things are you including in your November plans?
*Exercise math refers, in my case, to the challenges of trying to time my exercise sessions around a haphazard schedule, family, volunteer, and work obligations, the timing of showers and errands, all of which is complicated by my ADHD-related difficulty with prioritization, sense of time, and perception of effort required. I know everyone has to balance a lot of things to fit exercise into their days but the scheduling math seems to overwhelm me more often than it does for other people.
Fall is here. It’s grey, it’s windy, it’s rainy, and it’s cold. But still I love riding my bike. Here are some reasons why. 1. It’s hard to start but I always feel better after. I sometimes have to remind myself but it’s true. Studies show that people who work out because of the way […]
So I am a resiliently cheerful person. I’ve often thought I could live almost anywhere for a period of time because I am good at finding things to love about even the most unlovable of places. I’ve also in the past thought the same thing about seasons and weather. Yes, the summer months are best–because […]
“Thirty minutes of evening cycling helped protect memory after a short night of sleep.
In this trial, 88 healthy young adults either cycled moderately for 30 minutes at 7 p.m. or remained seated. They later learned 80 face-name pairs before receiving either an 8.5-hour or 4.5-hour sleep opportunity.
After the shortened night, participants who had cycled recalled more than those who had rested. Their performance was comparable to the groups given 8.5 hours in bed.”
My two cents: I’ve often wondered whether to work out on the days that follow nights with less sleep. I like the idea that short workouts, say 30 minutes, actually help us in terms of memory when we get less sleep. I’ve been thinking lately about the ways that sleep and exercise are connected. Going to bed earlier helps you move more, for example. But also moving helps you get a better night’s rest.
Women’s sport and women’s health. Sam previewed Canada vs. England in women’s rugby with Same Rivalry, Smaller Ball and then reported back on a big crowd and a great win for Canada: 18,621 fans at BMO Field, a North American record for women’s rugby. Nat’s Financing Friday looked at Canadian Tire putting half its sports partnerships toward women’s sport. And Diane took the plunge for menopause health, raising money for research at Sinai Health, then told us We Did It!: a 400-metre cold-water swim on World Menopause Day.
What kept us writing? Partly it was the season. Shorter days and colder mornings had us planning for fun, for rest, and for getting outside in the dark. But it was also a month of posts talking to each other: Sam’s early-bedtime post got a reply from a proud night owl, Diane announced her cold plunge and then came back to tell us she’d done it, Christine set out to have more fun and then reported that she had, and Nat’s anniversary got two posts of its own. Running through it all was the idea that you can be a beginner at any age, and that doing your best looks different every day.
I hate November, generally speaking. We all know that around here. It’s old news. More recently, like last year. I decided to bring out the big guns in mood improvement. For me, that’s time outside, indoor bright lights, cozy things, staying connected to friends and family, and gratitude. November is Gratitude Month. I blogged about […]
Safety assurance, I’m not talking about calorie restriction, diets or weight loss as a goal. I am talking about my weight changing, up and down, over the past year.
Nat stands in her stairwell wearing a cute cropped sweater and some comfy jeans.
A year ago I was in New Brunswick unexpectedly. My dad was ill. I was really stressed out. I was not exercising. I was driving a minimum of 4 hours a day. I was eating on the run. I rapidly gained 20 pounds over a few weeks. I was surprised how much the circumstances affected me and my weight stayed at that level until May of this year.
In May I retired and refocused on my strength training and walking. I’ve sustained 20% more daily steps, up from 9,500 to 12,000. Yay! I’ve been more consistent with my strength training and I’m feeling jacked. Yay!
I do track my weight, as well as my pulse and blood pressure, and I started noticing a slight downward trend since I retired. Interesting! I wondered what was going on as unexplained weight loss means I need to talk to my doctor.
Daytime activity
I’m surprised how much movement is in my day now that I’m not in meetings from 9-5. It’s small things but I’m almost always on the move. I suspect that I’m using more energy each day than I did before I retired.
Lunch
When I was in the office I had lunch at the cafeteria. I always picked from the grill. Now that I’m home, I’m making lunch. It could be a salad with protein, soup and a sandwich or a big bowl of pasta. It’s never fried foods though and I think even the same foods prepared at home are less calorically dense.
Clean hands for crafting
My daily activities, like knitting and writing, mean my hands are busy and need to stay clean. It’s meant less snacking. It feels good. I am also very likely to get into flow and not snack as the hours fly by as I do things.
Intuitive eating?
The morning smoothie has stayed the same over the past year. What has changed is when I feel hungry I grab a quick snack right away. A cliff bar, banana or sardines seem to be what I reach for. I don’t wait until I’m ravenous.
I continue to go out for nice dinners and regularly have pastries. I’m feeling good. It’s also been a month of birthday cakes and my favourite flavour of cake is cake!
Slowly trending
My weight has slowly trended downward at a steady rate. It’s not dramatic. I don’t look smaller and my clothes fit the same. That small change over 5 months means the “sad about my dad” uptick in my weight is gone.
Slow changes
This week during our strength training I pointed out to Michel I no longer use a chair to assist me getting up off the floor. I’m feeling more balanced and flexible. These are not instagramworthy moments but they are small victories in my flexibility, balance and mobility.
Homeostasis
I’m curious to see where my body settles out with my new routines. I’m grateful that leaving paid work behind is helping me be more active.I don’t have a goal weight, I’m working on how much I can lift and how far I can hike. Those are my meaningful goals as they help me in my life. I do trust that my body craves homeostasis.
