This week flipped that upside down and lit it on fire.
I started on the holiday Monday with a list of things that needed to be done before fence replacement work would start on Wednesday.
My youngest kid, Jean, came over. We dug up plants to move them out of danger. We moved and flipped the contents of two composters.
Michel cleaned out our garage and mowed.
Dividing and conquering we got lots done.
Tuesday was even more frenetic gardening.
Wednesday my contractor arrived and I puttered around outside and kept myself available.
Thursday I gardened at my place for three hours before flitting over to Heather’s for some visiting, snacking and, oh yes, two solid rounds of weeding. Then back home for more outdoor work.
Nat grimacing at the camera. Her face says “not so little but very often”
Friday, more work on my gardens in the morning and time with my friend Phyllis in the afternoon. I brought her scant amount of transplants and in return she filled my car with plants.
I got home, had a light dinner then quickly set to work planting all my new plants so that Saturday’s rain will help them adapt to their new home.
This has been a boon to my average step count. I’ve been averaging 9,500 a day over the past year. This week I averaged over 13,000.
A bar graph showing values for each day of the last week ranging from 8,000 to 18,000 steps on a given day.
Somewhere in there I had physiotherapy and a massage. I’m taking care not to aggravate my lower back and stick to daily physio exercises.
It is pretty typical that I put a lot of effort into my gardens in the spring. This year I feel like I’m making fast progress. I want my gardens to be lush and full of life without looking unkempt. It’s tricky because my garden is informal and uses a lot of native plants, folks sometimes think it’s merely overgrown.
Here’s to my efforts reducing a bit over the coming weeks as I focus more on writing and crafting.
I am solidly in the messy, frustrating middle of so many projects right now – fitness and otherwise.
And it is taking a lot of effort to keep working away at stuff instead of ditching everything and starting over.
The middle of any project is rarely fun but it can be especially dreadful for those of us with ADHD. The novelty has worn off, there’s a lot of trial and error, and everything seems very, very dull.
My brain really wants me to
start some new stories instead of working on ones that need revising.
try some new exercises instead of sticking with my walking/yoga/mobility routine.
buy new containers to store stuff instead of decluttering (decluttering = so many choices to make -ugh!)
try some new drawing techniques instead of improving my current skills.
invent different workshops and projects instead of finishing and promoting the ones I am already working on.
(don’t even get me started on my volunteer projects!)
But despite the noise my brain is making about this, I know that starting something new – in any category- will only be temporarily fun.
Pretty soon that new, fun thing will be at the messy middle stage and I’ll be annoyed all over again.
And, even though my brain has doubts, I know that I will REALLY enjoy when I finally finish something, when I can feel a difference in my body or my mind, and when I can see some of the progress I have made.
The only way to get to that real enjoyment is to keep inching everything forward, to add fun and novelty where I can, and to keep reminding myself that it is extra fun to actually finish something – even if that time feels very far away at the moment.
So, Team, even allowing for ADHD-related intensity, I’m pretty sure that ‘Why is the middle so annoying?’ is a pretty common feeling.
In fact, being annoyed with any part of any process seems pretty common.
You might be annoyed with the details required to get started or the details required to finish up.
You might find the middle incredibly tedious.
The unknowns at the beginning might get on your nerves.
Figuring out the last few steps might be frustrating.
All of it makes sense and it is all perfectly ok.
Sure, your frustration might lead you to use a slightly different approach or it could mean you need a little break or need a little more support.
But none of those feelings of frustration automatically suggest that this project isn’t for you.*
And when they arise, you can remind yourself that they are part of your process and then find a way to forge ahead – perhaps slowly, perhaps after a break, perhaps with a little more fun added to the mix.
I’m not saying that it is easy to do that, just that it is possible.
And your effort will be worth it.
In fact, speaking of effort, here’s our gold star for our efforts today – no matter which part of the process we are in right now.
Go Team Us!
PS – Be kind to yourself out there, pretty please.
*Meanwhile, if every part of the project is frustrating every single time, then it may be time to consider whether the project is a good fit overall.
I’m not big on following trends, especially those using terms like “maxxing” but this one made me laugh because I may be a trendsetter.
What is nonnamaxxing? Apparently, it’s a viral TikTok thing that encourages people to adopt the habits of an Italian grandmother, or “nonna.” Things like cooking from scratch, daily walking, gardening, long family meals, real-world social interaction and reduced screen time.
I don’t do all of these things (especially screen time), but I do love to cook from scratch, garden, go for walks or bike rides, and chat with friends.
As the Miami Herald says, movement, real food, social connection and mindset are the pillars of a nonna lifestyle.
An older woman in white shirt and pants enjoys a walk along the beach
I’m a few days late for the new Action for Happiness monthly calendar but I really love the idea of Meaningful May.
I’m not one of those people who insists that every single moment must be saturated with meaning but I am one of those people who thinks that any given ordinary moment could be meaningful – and I firmly believe that meaning is worth seeking/creating.
So, obviously, I’m a fan of the tiny daily ideas that this month’s Action for Happiness calendar provides for seeking meaning in the ordinary.
I like all of the suggestions but I find the idea of making ‘a list of the things that matter to me and why’ especially appealing.
Which Meaningful May tip appeals to you the most?
A daily calendar for May 2026 from Action for Happiness. The individual blocks are pink, red, light blue, or darker blue and there is a tip for seeking meaning typed into each one. The edge of the calendar is decorated with simple cartoon images of things like a cup of tea, a paper airplane, a person on a bike, or a few planets. At the bottom of the calendar the words ‘Happier. Kinder. Together’ appear in green.
PS – If you want to hear a bit more about Meaningful May, check out the Action for Happiness video below “How to find meaning in the past, present and future. Meaningful May with Vanessa King.
A video from Action for Happiness featuring Vanessa King, a white woman with shoulder length hair and a bright expression on her face looking directly at the camera with a few plants and an old black and white photo of a couple on their wedding day. on the right ide of the image is text reading “Finding Meaning: 3 top tips with Vanessa King.”
It was sunny here last Friday so my husband spend a bit of time shoveling snow off of our patio – mostly to have something to do outside.
When it was sunny and spring-ish on Saturday, we wanted to have the patio door open so I dug the screen door out of the shed and had the brilliant idea (if I do say so myself) to drag a few patio chairs out at the same time.
Now it was sunny and relatively warm and we had chairs on the patio so it suddenly felt like our outdoor space was available to us again.
Obviously, my next step was to drag out a mat and do some yoga outdoors.
Did it feel strange to be doing yoga outside with snowshovels in the background? I’ll let you interpret that for yourself.
Image description: a selfie of me (a middle-aged white woman with a round face and light brown hair that is pulled back by a cloth band that happens to contain earphones) in a dark pink hoodie with the sun shining on my face, smirking at the fact that I am doing yoga outdoors while there are still necessary snow shovels propped against my house.
Was it weird to be lying on my mat in the sunshine while the grass in my backyard was still mostly covered in snow?
Well, it felt weird enough to take a photo of it at least…
Image description: a photo of my legs with the backyard full of snow visible in the background while propping myself up a little as I was lying on my mat on the patio. In the photo, I am lying on the ground with my right leg bent so the knee is toward the sky and the foot is on the ground. My left leg is bent so the outside of my foot is resting on the top of my right knee and my left knee is pointing to the left. You can see my blue yoga mat and part of the patio through the triangle formed by my legs. On my right is our patio mats, and more patio slats and beyond them you can see the railings, a whole bunch of snow, some leafless trees, the blue sky and our faded wooden fence.
But even though it felt kinda weird, it also felt great to be doing that slow, steady, focused movement in the bright sunlight and the fresh air.
Despite the snow, it felt like warm weather and more outdoor fun might be just around the (very long!) corner.
And if you saw this when you opened your eyes after Savasana, you might have believed it, too.
A photo of my view upwards from my yoga mat. Image description: a photo of bare tree branches with just a hint of growth on them with the bright blue sky in the background.
PS – Thanks to Steve for shoveling off the patio and setting this whole thing in motion.
I’m standing at the hotel room sink brushing my teeth when I catch the sideview of my naked body in the closet mirror door. A wave of disgust hit me. I was overcome with the urge to do something drastic. I breathed. I turned off the unflattering florescent light. Who installs these things in hotel rooms anyway?
I sat down and had a good cry. I was in a hotel room in Saint John, New Brunswick because of a family medical emergency. I so desperately wanted to feel a sense of control, a moment of peace. At the same time my youngest kid is living in a tent in British Columbia between jobs, again. I’m retiring in three weeks and it feels like my life is out of control, tumbling pell-mell down a hill that doesn’t seem to have an end in sight. So instead of hating on my body I just kept crying, recognizing the body dysmorphia for a displaced need for a sense of control.
Instead of spiraling I rehearsed all the things I am doing to feel a sense of control.
I continue to leave alcohol behind. When I feel this lousy I’m prone to drinking more and the one thing that won’t make me feel better is a hangover/headach.
Pool time
I love being in water and even though the pool is tiny I can still kick while holding the wall or swim into the output of the waterslide. I sleep much better for the time in the pool. I feel strong, confident and capable in my two piece meant for laps. I walked though the halls without a cover-up or shame. 50 something coping lady coming through!
Bring my Michel
Just having my special person around helped me feel grounded. A shoulder to snuggle to, a ready smile, and watching our favourite shows on a laptop like a couple of kids, it helped me feel a sense of normalcy.
Crochet
I tucked a skein of cotton under my arm and just made dishcloths. It’s really just a fancy fidget toy that gives you something at the end. It keeps me calm, helps me focus and stay in the moment.
Confront harsh truths
Seeing someone you love going through tough times is really humbling. Any illusion of control is quickly dispelled as events proceed. The urge to try and control others is huge for me. Internally I judge, blame and struggle to find meaning. Externally I keep breathing and focusing on what I can do in the moment. I don’t minimize or exagerate, I just stare the tough stuff right in the eyes and acknolwedge it.
Mine the past
A gem I unearthed in therapy was to look to my past for times I handled tough stuff well to help me have confidence on navigating life’s challenges. Many of those moments come from my fitness journey. From long bike rides to recovering from injury, my fitness activities have taught me I am capable and good at figuring things out.
Keep moving
Walking, stretching and strength training have really helped me feel a sense of peace and control.
Life keeps offering challenges and moments to rise to the occasion. I’m so grateful I’ve gathered many tools.
So, apparently we’re starting April tomorrow which is bizarre because I am pretty sure we just started March.
Time is a mystery.
But seeing as the calendar is insisting that a new month is imminent, I thought it would be fun to look at some of the fitness and wellness related days that have been assigned to April.
April is…
Move More Month – that seems pretty promising and it could be pretty easy, if the weather cooperates even a little. And for many of our bloggers and readers, it ties in nicely with the fact that April is also Active Dog Month -it’s like a 2 for 1 special, really.
Stress Awareness Month – I think we are all pretty aware of stress (ha!) but this could be a good time to pay attention to your stress levels and see if you can find some relief.
For me, though, the best awareness day this month is April 5 – which is My Sister Denise’s Birthday Awareness Day.
Denise is a fun, creative, outdoorsy person and I highly recommend that you celebrate My Sister Denise’s Birthday Awareness Day by finding some nonsense to participate in, by taking yourself outside for some fun, or by doing something creative.
In fact, if you *do* celebrate My Sister Denise’s Birthday Awareness Day on Sunday, let me know and I will draw you your very own gold star as a reward.
I think I have found a workaround for one of my most annoying fitness challenges and, oddly enough, it involves one of my favourite offices supplies – INDEX CARDS!
If you have been reading my posts for a while then you know that I find it difficult to set big picture fitness goals because I’m not sure what I want my endpoint to be.
I mean, I want to be stronger or have more ease in my movements (especially after the challenges of the last few years) but I don’t really have a way to measure that except for ‘feeling stronger’ or ‘feeling more ease.’
Both of those things sound good in principle but I know that my ADHD brain will send me into endless loops of ‘Was that enough?’ ‘Do I feel better or worse than yesterday?’ ‘Am I putting in the right effort here?’ and I won’t find much fun or much satisfaction in that whole process.
Meanwhile, though, I also don’t have a lot invested in more measurable things like being able to reach a particular speed when walking or lift a certain weight or do a specific number of reps. Those things don’t really resonate for me and I know that I will just get kind of meh about them over time.
And even though I understand intellectually that additional consistent exercise will be helpful, some part of my brain is not really buying into the idea and keeps insisting that effort today is not really going to add up to anything and I will just be wasting time that I could spend reading or writing or doing something fun.
But, at the same time, I know that I am wrong about that and I keep trying different ways to jumpstart a fitness plan.
Last week, I did some thinking about how I could encourage myself to take on a longer term exercise project that would let me see my efforts all along without having to choose some sort of specific result to work towards.
I want the process of exercising to be so routine that any results will just be a sort of by-product of the activity rather than being the point.
Eventually, I figured out that I could choose to commit to 100 workouts.
I wouldn’t have to pick a specific type of workout or a specific length of workout and I wouldn’t have to accomplish anything specific, I would just have to pick something and do it.
And even my somewhat-belligerent-on-this-topic brain has to admit that I will definitely see and feel some differences after 100 workouts.
Once I had decided on that number, I wanted to find a way to track it and maybe make some notes about the various workouts I tried.
And that’s when I came up with the index card solution.
I love index cards for notetaking, for planning, and for art so they are a very friendly material for me – which is a good start.
One of the reasons I enjoy using index cards for those things is the fact that they are relatively small so I can’t take on too much. That seems like a good approach for these workouts too.
Friendly and will prevent me from taking on too much? So far, so good!
The other benefit of index cards in this context is that if I write one index card per workout, I will be able to see those workouts adding up over time as I move toward my 100 card target.
So, here’s the plan I started late last week:
Open a brand new package of index cards and put them in a container that will hold the blank cards and the completed ones side-by-side.
Workout 100 times in the next six months.
Write about each individual workout on a separate card and keep it in the same case.
Watch my progress and feel good about the whole thing.
And it truly has been ‘so far so good’ – I have done four workouts* and filled out four cards and it feels manageable and useful.
In fact, I feel exactly like I hoped I would – that the index cards are the point of the whole thing and any results are just a bonus – and I think that’s a good sort of feeling for me to have about this project because it keeps my brain from looping about the specifics.
Let’s see how this goes, shall we?
*Next week’s post will be about how I chose what will count as a workout. 🙂
I like snow. I like cosy evenings. I like the way the air smells. I like bundling up to go outside. I’m a big fan of sweaters. I like seeing light on the snow. I even like shovelling snow (up to a certain point!)
And even on the most basic level, I just like the variation from other seasons of the year.
But by the time February comes, it is wearing on me.
It really starts at the end of January when time seems to both stretch and contract so I have really long days but really short weeks and then I somehow get unceremoniously dumped into February.
February takes forever and it is always a big struggle for me. I have extra trouble figuring out my time, my projects, and my capacity. It’s almost like my ADHD meds don’t fully work that month and everything is especially difficult and frustrating.
For example, this year I had a plan to do two small things in February. I was going to do a wall set for one minute a day and I was going to add more vegetables to my lunch
I did pretty well with the lunch vegetables but the wall sit? That just went wrong.
The wall set was somehow both too big a task and two smaller task at once. It felt like I could fit it in anywhere in my day., That sounds like an upside but if I can fit it in anywhere in my day then I’ll end arguing with myself all day about when to do it.
I realized that it’s hard to do a wall sit when I have socks on because I end up, slipping on both the flooring and the carpet while trying to hold the position.
But I could never convince myself to put on my sneakers to do a one minute exercise.
In fact, February fills up my brain so much that the sneaker idea didn’t occur to me until more than halfway through the month.
And I never did convince myself to put the sneakers on.
I noticed this February pattern a few years ago, and I have tried a variety of solutions to cope with this annual bewilderment. Things have improved, but there is still a ways to go and I am hampered by the fact that I often can’t see things are going sideways until they have reached an annoying level of sideways-ness.
Anyway, as you can, imagine, I was really glad to see March.
I’m not saying that March 1 is magic but I’m not NOT saying that.
Once we switch to March, it feels like my brain takes a deep breath and suddenly there’s a bit more space to figure things out.
You can’t tell now, of course, but this is where a single spring flower grows and blooms each year. I love watching for it as spring goes on. Image description, a photo of the back of someone’s fence with snow on the ground and a few evergreen trees about halfway between the viewer and the fence.
And once the clocks change, I see even more of an improvement in my perspective, my overall mood, and in my capacity to make useful plans and to follow through on them.
So, I was thinking about all of those things last week and then I overheard a conversation some friends of mine were having at TKD.
(This had nothing to do with martial arts, it had to do with spring.)
One of my friends is a farmer (she also runs a farm-tech company) and she said that there had been signs of spring for weeks
She said that we probably hadn’t even noticed, but the signs are there – more birds are singing, there are probably more bugs showing up in our houses, and that there are lots of things going on underground that we won’t see for ages.
And when she said that I realized that not only had I heard more birds and seen more bugs, but the sun was feeling a bit warmer and the ground felt somehow different than it had two weeks before.
Recognizing all those things felt so great that I started looking for more signs.
And I noticed that the tips of the branches of the trees were looking a little thicker, like growth has started.
Doesn’t that kind of look like buds at the tip of those branches? I’m not sure at what point a bud can be officially called a bud but something is going on right there.. Image description: A photo of a couple of the branches of the lilac tree in my front yard. At the tips of the branches are the suggestion of buds, even if they’re not buds yet. The branches are in the very foreground and in the background, you can See snow on lawns a few people’s driveways and some of my neighbours houses in the background.
And something about how the snow is sitting on the ground has changed. Even though we had more snow over the weekend, there’s something different and somewhat spring-y about it.
See:
It felt so good and so cheering to take a stroll today. A photo of my dog Khalee on our street on a sunny somewhat springlike day. The sun is behind us and she is standing where she can be seen in the photo. You can only see me as a shadow, and you can see the shadow of the leash that I’m holding that she is on the other end of. Her shadow was visible too, of course. There’s a small snowbank nearby and she’s standing on some greyish asphalt. She is a light brown, medium size dog. She’s mostly facing away from the camera, but she’s turned back a bit probably wondering why I stopped walking.
Even the colour of the sky seems deeper recently. it’s not quite a spring or summer sky, but it’s getting there.
I love seeing that blue get stronger. A photo of several leafless trees and a couple of evergreens next to a fence with snow on the ground. The sky behind the trees is an almost spring colour of blue with a few long white clouds
So with things getting ready to shift outside, it’s no wonder that things are also shifting in my brain.
In the last week or so, I’ve noticed myself thinking a bit more long-term about exercise plans again.
And it feels far easier to get myself to go for a walk, to do some yoga, or to just move around in general.
I was on a writing retreat this past weekend and instead of sitting at a table to work I was motivated to sit on my yoga mat on the floor instead, working on my lap, on a low table, or on the floor itself. That felt like a huge improvement because I know how much more likely I am to move and stretch and take good care of myself while I’m working if I’m seated on the floor.
No, I’m not saying that I couldn’t do any of these things three weeks ago, but now that first step, the initiation of that task, is decidedly easier.
I didn’t realize it had been so long since I wrote a Go Team post.
Sure, it has only been since January but I always find February to be such a slog that it feels like it has been aaaaaaages since I offered up some encouragement for us all.
So, Team, today I am inviting you to find ways to be even kinder to yourself.
Maybe that means giving yourself a break.
Maybe it means taking an extra rest day.
Maybe it means giving yourself a pep talk – or seeking someone else to give you one.
Maybe it means giving yourself as much time as possible to work out.
Maybe it means speeding things up a little today.
Perhaps it means using the punching bag instead of going to Zumba… or vice versa.
Perhaps it looks like more time meditating or journaling or listening to calming music.
Perhaps it looks like exercising on your own or maybe it looks like finding company.
Maybe it looks like packing your gym bag in the evening or rolling out your yoga mat before you go to bed.
Perhaps it means going to bed early or staying in bed a little longer in the morning and maybe it looks like the opposite of that.
Look, I know that there are a lot of terrible things going on in the world and that you are probably also facing a lot of challenges in your own life. In the face of all of that, it can seem pretty insignificant to bother trying to be kinder to yourself.
After all, what difference does it make if you journal or go to Zumba or take a bit of extra time with your tea?
It makes a BIG difference.
Sure, it’s not going to address all of the challenges you are facing and it’s not going to fix all of the problems in the world but it sure as hell is going to make it a little easier for you to do what you can to face those challenges and to help out in the world.
(And you can be damn sure that being less kind to yourself won’t make anything better.)
Choosing to be kind to yourself, to give your body and brain the things that you need, will not only be helpful to you in the moment but it will also leave you with more energy and more capacity to engage with others, to seek solutions, to be who you want to be in the world.
And sure, my examples above are all related to fitness and well-being but that’s because this is a fitness blog.
I hope you will apply the same ideas in every facet of your life.
Self-kindness is not self-indulgence, it is self-support.
It is not wasteful. It is not harmful. It is not pointless.
You matter.
Your efforts matter.
Being kind to yourself matters.
Please give it a whirl at your next possible opportunity.
And, as always, here is your gold star for your efforts.
Wishing you ease, my friends.
Be kind to yourselves out there. Pretty please.
A star I made during a ‘Relaxing Creativity’ workshop I was leading on Monday night. Image description: a gold star drawn in shiny gold ‘art crayon’ against a pink background that is decorated with black lines that follow the same curves as the edges of the star. The drawing and the star are trimmed in black.
Bonus:
This video cheers me up every time I encounter it on Instagram. I thought it might do the same for you.
An Instagram post from addytok2022 with a closeup view of a little girl’s face. She has blonde hair in a topknot, and she is wearing pink glasses, and she is looking intently at the nail polish bottle she is trying to open. Her nails are painted bright pink and she is wearing a black sweatshirt with the Grinch on it.
