It was sunny here last Friday so my husband spend a bit of time shoveling snow off of our patio – mostly to have something to do outside.
When it was sunny and spring-ish on Saturday, we wanted to have the patio door open so I dug the screen door out of the shed and had the brilliant idea (if I do say so myself) to drag a few patio chairs out at the same time.
Now it was sunny and relatively warm and we had chairs on the patio so it suddenly felt like our outdoor space was available to us again.
Obviously, my next step was to drag out a mat and do some yoga outdoors.
Did it feel strange to be doing yoga outside with snowshovels in the background? I’ll let you interpret that for yourself.
Image description: a selfie of me (a middle-aged white woman with a round face and light brown hair that is pulled back by a cloth band that happens to contain earphones) in a dark pink hoodie with the sun shining on my face, smirking at the fact that I am doing yoga outdoors while there are still necessary snow shovels propped against my house.
Was it weird to be lying on my mat in the sunshine while the grass in my backyard was still mostly covered in snow?
Well, it felt weird enough to take a photo of it at least…
Image description: a photo of my legs with the backyard full of snow visible in the background while propping myself up a little as I was lying on my mat on the patio. In the photo, I am lying on the ground with my right leg bent so the knee is toward the sky and the foot is on the ground. My left leg is bent so the outside of my foot is resting on the top of my right knee and my left knee is pointing to the left. You can see my blue yoga mat and part of the patio through the triangle formed by my legs. On my right is our patio mats, and more patio slats and beyond them you can see the railings, a whole bunch of snow, some leafless trees, the blue sky and our faded wooden fence.
But even though it felt kinda weird, it also felt great to be doing that slow, steady, focused movement in the bright sunlight and the fresh air.
Despite the snow, it felt like warm weather and more outdoor fun might be just around the (very long!) corner.
And if you saw this when you opened your eyes after Savasana, you might have believed it, too.
A photo of my view upwards from my yoga mat. Image description: a photo of bare tree branches with just a hint of growth on them with the bright blue sky in the background.
PS – Thanks to Steve for shoveling off the patio and setting this whole thing in motion.
I’m standing at the hotel room sink brushing my teeth when I catch the sideview of my naked body in the closet mirror door. A wave of disgust hit me. I was overcome with the urge to do something drastic. I breathed. I turned off the unflattering florescent light. Who installs these things in hotel rooms anyway?
I sat down and had a good cry. I was in a hotel room in Saint John, New Brunswick because of a family medical emergency. I so desperately wanted to feel a sense of control, a moment of peace. At the same time my youngest kid is living in a tent in British Columbia between jobs, again. I’m retiring in three weeks and it feels like my life is out of control, tumbling pell-mell down a hill that doesn’t seem to have an end in sight. So instead of hating on my body I just kept crying, recognizing the body dysmorphia for a displaced need for a sense of control.
Instead of spiraling I rehearsed all the things I am doing to feel a sense of control.
I continue to leave alcohol behind. When I feel this lousy I’m prone to drinking more and the one thing that won’t make me feel better is a hangover/headach.
Pool time
I love being in water and even though the pool is tiny I can still kick while holding the wall or swim into the output of the waterslide. I sleep much better for the time in the pool. I feel strong, confident and capable in my two piece meant for laps. I walked though the halls without a cover-up or shame. 50 something coping lady coming through!
Bring my Michel
Just having my special person around helped me feel grounded. A shoulder to snuggle to, a ready smile, and watching our favourite shows on a laptop like a couple of kids, it helped me feel a sense of normalcy.
Crochet
I tucked a skein of cotton under my arm and just made dishcloths. It’s really just a fancy fidget toy that gives you something at the end. It keeps me calm, helps me focus and stay in the moment.
Confront harsh truths
Seeing someone you love going through tough times is really humbling. Any illusion of control is quickly dispelled as events proceed. The urge to try and control others is huge for me. Internally I judge, blame and struggle to find meaning. Externally I keep breathing and focusing on what I can do in the moment. I don’t minimize or exagerate, I just stare the tough stuff right in the eyes and acknolwedge it.
Mine the past
A gem I unearthed in therapy was to look to my past for times I handled tough stuff well to help me have confidence on navigating life’s challenges. Many of those moments come from my fitness journey. From long bike rides to recovering from injury, my fitness activities have taught me I am capable and good at figuring things out.
Keep moving
Walking, stretching and strength training have really helped me feel a sense of peace and control.
Life keeps offering challenges and moments to rise to the occasion. I’m so grateful I’ve gathered many tools.
So, apparently we’re starting April tomorrow which is bizarre because I am pretty sure we just started March.
Time is a mystery.
But seeing as the calendar is insisting that a new month is imminent, I thought it would be fun to look at some of the fitness and wellness related days that have been assigned to April.
April is…
Move More Month – that seems pretty promising and it could be pretty easy, if the weather cooperates even a little. And for many of our bloggers and readers, it ties in nicely with the fact that April is also Active Dog Month -it’s like a 2 for 1 special, really.
Stress Awareness Month – I think we are all pretty aware of stress (ha!) but this could be a good time to pay attention to your stress levels and see if you can find some relief.
For me, though, the best awareness day this month is April 5 – which is My Sister Denise’s Birthday Awareness Day.
Denise is a fun, creative, outdoorsy person and I highly recommend that you celebrate My Sister Denise’s Birthday Awareness Day by finding some nonsense to participate in, by taking yourself outside for some fun, or by doing something creative.
In fact, if you *do* celebrate My Sister Denise’s Birthday Awareness Day on Sunday, let me know and I will draw you your very own gold star as a reward.
I think I have found a workaround for one of my most annoying fitness challenges and, oddly enough, it involves one of my favourite offices supplies – INDEX CARDS!
If you have been reading my posts for a while then you know that I find it difficult to set big picture fitness goals because I’m not sure what I want my endpoint to be.
I mean, I want to be stronger or have more ease in my movements (especially after the challenges of the last few years) but I don’t really have a way to measure that except for ‘feeling stronger’ or ‘feeling more ease.’
Both of those things sound good in principle but I know that my ADHD brain will send me into endless loops of ‘Was that enough?’ ‘Do I feel better or worse than yesterday?’ ‘Am I putting in the right effort here?’ and I won’t find much fun or much satisfaction in that whole process.
Meanwhile, though, I also don’t have a lot invested in more measurable things like being able to reach a particular speed when walking or lift a certain weight or do a specific number of reps. Those things don’t really resonate for me and I know that I will just get kind of meh about them over time.
And even though I understand intellectually that additional consistent exercise will be helpful, some part of my brain is not really buying into the idea and keeps insisting that effort today is not really going to add up to anything and I will just be wasting time that I could spend reading or writing or doing something fun.
But, at the same time, I know that I am wrong about that and I keep trying different ways to jumpstart a fitness plan.
Last week, I did some thinking about how I could encourage myself to take on a longer term exercise project that would let me see my efforts all along without having to choose some sort of specific result to work towards.
I want the process of exercising to be so routine that any results will just be a sort of by-product of the activity rather than being the point.
Eventually, I figured out that I could choose to commit to 100 workouts.
I wouldn’t have to pick a specific type of workout or a specific length of workout and I wouldn’t have to accomplish anything specific, I would just have to pick something and do it.
And even my somewhat-belligerent-on-this-topic brain has to admit that I will definitely see and feel some differences after 100 workouts.
Once I had decided on that number, I wanted to find a way to track it and maybe make some notes about the various workouts I tried.
And that’s when I came up with the index card solution.
I love index cards for notetaking, for planning, and for art so they are a very friendly material for me – which is a good start.
One of the reasons I enjoy using index cards for those things is the fact that they are relatively small so I can’t take on too much. That seems like a good approach for these workouts too.
Friendly and will prevent me from taking on too much? So far, so good!
The other benefit of index cards in this context is that if I write one index card per workout, I will be able to see those workouts adding up over time as I move toward my 100 card target.
So, here’s the plan I started late last week:
Open a brand new package of index cards and put them in a container that will hold the blank cards and the completed ones side-by-side.
Workout 100 times in the next six months.
Write about each individual workout on a separate card and keep it in the same case.
Watch my progress and feel good about the whole thing.
And it truly has been ‘so far so good’ – I have done four workouts* and filled out four cards and it feels manageable and useful.
In fact, I feel exactly like I hoped I would – that the index cards are the point of the whole thing and any results are just a bonus – and I think that’s a good sort of feeling for me to have about this project because it keeps my brain from looping about the specifics.
Let’s see how this goes, shall we?
*Next week’s post will be about how I chose what will count as a workout. 🙂
I like snow. I like cosy evenings. I like the way the air smells. I like bundling up to go outside. I’m a big fan of sweaters. I like seeing light on the snow. I even like shovelling snow (up to a certain point!)
And even on the most basic level, I just like the variation from other seasons of the year.
But by the time February comes, it is wearing on me.
It really starts at the end of January when time seems to both stretch and contract so I have really long days but really short weeks and then I somehow get unceremoniously dumped into February.
February takes forever and it is always a big struggle for me. I have extra trouble figuring out my time, my projects, and my capacity. It’s almost like my ADHD meds don’t fully work that month and everything is especially difficult and frustrating.
For example, this year I had a plan to do two small things in February. I was going to do a wall set for one minute a day and I was going to add more vegetables to my lunch
I did pretty well with the lunch vegetables but the wall sit? That just went wrong.
The wall set was somehow both too big a task and two smaller task at once. It felt like I could fit it in anywhere in my day., That sounds like an upside but if I can fit it in anywhere in my day then I’ll end arguing with myself all day about when to do it.
I realized that it’s hard to do a wall sit when I have socks on because I end up, slipping on both the flooring and the carpet while trying to hold the position.
But I could never convince myself to put on my sneakers to do a one minute exercise.
In fact, February fills up my brain so much that the sneaker idea didn’t occur to me until more than halfway through the month.
And I never did convince myself to put the sneakers on.
I noticed this February pattern a few years ago, and I have tried a variety of solutions to cope with this annual bewilderment. Things have improved, but there is still a ways to go and I am hampered by the fact that I often can’t see things are going sideways until they have reached an annoying level of sideways-ness.
Anyway, as you can, imagine, I was really glad to see March.
I’m not saying that March 1 is magic but I’m not NOT saying that.
Once we switch to March, it feels like my brain takes a deep breath and suddenly there’s a bit more space to figure things out.
You can’t tell now, of course, but this is where a single spring flower grows and blooms each year. I love watching for it as spring goes on. Image description, a photo of the back of someone’s fence with snow on the ground and a few evergreen trees about halfway between the viewer and the fence.
And once the clocks change, I see even more of an improvement in my perspective, my overall mood, and in my capacity to make useful plans and to follow through on them.
So, I was thinking about all of those things last week and then I overheard a conversation some friends of mine were having at TKD.
(This had nothing to do with martial arts, it had to do with spring.)
One of my friends is a farmer (she also runs a farm-tech company) and she said that there had been signs of spring for weeks
She said that we probably hadn’t even noticed, but the signs are there – more birds are singing, there are probably more bugs showing up in our houses, and that there are lots of things going on underground that we won’t see for ages.
And when she said that I realized that not only had I heard more birds and seen more bugs, but the sun was feeling a bit warmer and the ground felt somehow different than it had two weeks before.
Recognizing all those things felt so great that I started looking for more signs.
And I noticed that the tips of the branches of the trees were looking a little thicker, like growth has started.
Doesn’t that kind of look like buds at the tip of those branches? I’m not sure at what point a bud can be officially called a bud but something is going on right there.. Image description: A photo of a couple of the branches of the lilac tree in my front yard. At the tips of the branches are the suggestion of buds, even if they’re not buds yet. The branches are in the very foreground and in the background, you can See snow on lawns a few people’s driveways and some of my neighbours houses in the background.
And something about how the snow is sitting on the ground has changed. Even though we had more snow over the weekend, there’s something different and somewhat spring-y about it.
See:
It felt so good and so cheering to take a stroll today. A photo of my dog Khalee on our street on a sunny somewhat springlike day. The sun is behind us and she is standing where she can be seen in the photo. You can only see me as a shadow, and you can see the shadow of the leash that I’m holding that she is on the other end of. Her shadow was visible too, of course. There’s a small snowbank nearby and she’s standing on some greyish asphalt. She is a light brown, medium size dog. She’s mostly facing away from the camera, but she’s turned back a bit probably wondering why I stopped walking.
Even the colour of the sky seems deeper recently. it’s not quite a spring or summer sky, but it’s getting there.
I love seeing that blue get stronger. A photo of several leafless trees and a couple of evergreens next to a fence with snow on the ground. The sky behind the trees is an almost spring colour of blue with a few long white clouds
So with things getting ready to shift outside, it’s no wonder that things are also shifting in my brain.
In the last week or so, I’ve noticed myself thinking a bit more long-term about exercise plans again.
And it feels far easier to get myself to go for a walk, to do some yoga, or to just move around in general.
I was on a writing retreat this past weekend and instead of sitting at a table to work I was motivated to sit on my yoga mat on the floor instead, working on my lap, on a low table, or on the floor itself. That felt like a huge improvement because I know how much more likely I am to move and stretch and take good care of myself while I’m working if I’m seated on the floor.
No, I’m not saying that I couldn’t do any of these things three weeks ago, but now that first step, the initiation of that task, is decidedly easier.
I didn’t realize it had been so long since I wrote a Go Team post.
Sure, it has only been since January but I always find February to be such a slog that it feels like it has been aaaaaaages since I offered up some encouragement for us all.
So, Team, today I am inviting you to find ways to be even kinder to yourself.
Maybe that means giving yourself a break.
Maybe it means taking an extra rest day.
Maybe it means giving yourself a pep talk – or seeking someone else to give you one.
Maybe it means giving yourself as much time as possible to work out.
Maybe it means speeding things up a little today.
Perhaps it means using the punching bag instead of going to Zumba… or vice versa.
Perhaps it looks like more time meditating or journaling or listening to calming music.
Perhaps it looks like exercising on your own or maybe it looks like finding company.
Maybe it looks like packing your gym bag in the evening or rolling out your yoga mat before you go to bed.
Perhaps it means going to bed early or staying in bed a little longer in the morning and maybe it looks like the opposite of that.
Look, I know that there are a lot of terrible things going on in the world and that you are probably also facing a lot of challenges in your own life. In the face of all of that, it can seem pretty insignificant to bother trying to be kinder to yourself.
After all, what difference does it make if you journal or go to Zumba or take a bit of extra time with your tea?
It makes a BIG difference.
Sure, it’s not going to address all of the challenges you are facing and it’s not going to fix all of the problems in the world but it sure as hell is going to make it a little easier for you to do what you can to face those challenges and to help out in the world.
(And you can be damn sure that being less kind to yourself won’t make anything better.)
Choosing to be kind to yourself, to give your body and brain the things that you need, will not only be helpful to you in the moment but it will also leave you with more energy and more capacity to engage with others, to seek solutions, to be who you want to be in the world.
And sure, my examples above are all related to fitness and well-being but that’s because this is a fitness blog.
I hope you will apply the same ideas in every facet of your life.
Self-kindness is not self-indulgence, it is self-support.
It is not wasteful. It is not harmful. It is not pointless.
You matter.
Your efforts matter.
Being kind to yourself matters.
Please give it a whirl at your next possible opportunity.
And, as always, here is your gold star for your efforts.
Wishing you ease, my friends.
Be kind to yourselves out there. Pretty please.
A star I made during a ‘Relaxing Creativity’ workshop I was leading on Monday night. Image description: a gold star drawn in shiny gold ‘art crayon’ against a pink background that is decorated with black lines that follow the same curves as the edges of the star. The drawing and the star are trimmed in black.
Bonus:
This video cheers me up every time I encounter it on Instagram. I thought it might do the same for you.
An Instagram post from addytok2022 with a closeup view of a little girl’s face. She has blonde hair in a topknot, and she is wearing pink glasses, and she is looking intently at the nail polish bottle she is trying to open. Her nails are painted bright pink and she is wearing a black sweatshirt with the Grinch on it.
I’m sure I have mentioned it before but when I first started taking my ADHD meds, I immediately noticed an increase in my ability to pause before doing something.
Previous to that I didn’t exactly jump into every single task, but I would often find myself in the middle of doing something without having thought it through clearly.
After 10 years on medication, I am used to a certain capacity to pause and choose a response.
But I have noticed an increase in that capacity when I am practising mindfulness on a regular basis.
And, of course, I have also noticed that it is really tricky for me to practice consistently. (It’s like I have ADHD or something. 😉 )
Small, daily activities like the ones on the ‘Mindful March’ calendar from Action for Happiness really help me to keep practicing and to keep seeking that extra mental space.
Here’s what the calendar looks like. (You can also download your own copy from the website or add it to your own Google Calendar.)
The calendar for Mindful March from Action for Happiness. Image description: each block of the calendar is brightly coloured in shades of green or yellow, and there is a type written mindfulness tip in each one. The edges of the calendar are decorated with cartoon images of things related to the tips like someone playing with a dog or waiting for the kettle to boil to have a cup of tea.
And here’s a YouTube video about Mindful March from Vanessa King, Head of Psychology from Action for Happiness.
Finally, I took the photo below after a mindful experience I had one morning when the dog decided we were getting up at 5:30. I was annoyed at being up before I was ready and at having to open the door and let cold air in. But when I looked out at the moon and how it was shining on the snow and just felt how crisp everything was, I actually took a couple of deep breaths of that cold air and felt pretty good.
Paying attention to where I was, actually being there instead of moving on to the next thing, made a big difference to that moment, to the overall feeling of the start of my day, and to my day as a whole.
Every mindful moment doesn’t reverberate that way but that one certainly did.
Now, I’m not necessarily recommending getting up too early and being quite chilly as a mindfulness practice but you could do worse.
A photo taken of the corner of my patio, my neighbor’s fence and our leafless tree, one very early dark morning when the moon was bright. In front of me, the moon is shining on the snow and casting shadows of the trees and the fence and light from a streetlight is adding to the glow. Everything looks crisp and still and peaceful.
I had a few “off” days at the end of last week. I couldn’t really tell if I was just tired, if my allergies were acting up, or if I was getting a migraine.
It didn’t even occur to me that I might actually be sick until Saturday afternoon when my head suddenly weighed about ten thousand pounds, my throat was sore, and I started sneezing.
Luckily, I didn’t have many plans this weekend and I could easily shift things around to make room to rest.*
Here’s what that looked like:
I wasn’t quite in ‘lie-around-and-read’ mode so I spent a long time playing with paints and markers and paint markers.
While drinking approximately 1.5 million cups of tea, of course. **
My favourite Tarot card – The Empress – on a mug sprinkled with gold stars. You probably could have guessed this was mine. 🙂 Image description: My mug is sitting on a folded red cloth napkin and both are resting on my worn wooden kitchen table. The mug is white with a black handle and black interior. The white parts are sprinkled with gold stars and in the middle is a black and white image of The Empress, a woman in a crown and flowing robes with a scepter in her right hand.
A video from Art Therapy with Sana called ‘Feeling Overwhelmed? Try this Klimt Pattern Art Practice. Still image shows a patterned painting in shades of red, brown, and gold. On the left side of the image is a woman in red robes, the woman’s face is cut from a magazine. The rest of the image is made up of vertical sections framed in wavy lines and each section is filled with a different pattern – spirals, ovals. dots. Behind the first artwork is another work that features a collaged image of a woman with patterns drawn around her in gold and black.
Here’s what mine turned out like:
My version of the first painting from the art therapy video posted above. The colours are shades of red, purple, yellow, pink and gold that work well together (I hope!) Near the centre of the painting I have drawn a woman’s face looking out between two sections that form a robe. The rest of the painting is formed from wavy lines that mark off different sections that contain different patterns of squares, circles, dots, lines and spirals.My version of the second painting from the video. I cut out a picture of a woman in a blue and green patterned dress – you can see her from the waist up- she is leaning towards her right shoulder and looking down. The rest of the painting is divided into sections filled with patterns – squares, spirals, grids, circles, and squiggles, all patterned in green, yellow, and blue.
And since I like to listen to podcasts while I draw, today I chose Old Gods of Appalachia – a horror anthology show with incredibly strong writing, world-building, and performances. (Yes, I do like spooky stuff!)
When my head got too heavy I tried the exercises in this video. They helped a lot.
My husband thinks it’s pretty funny to fall asleep to ghost stories but the stories on Classic Ghost Stories are more ‘creeping dread’ than ‘scar them with the horrors’ kind of tales and Tony Walker is an excellent narrator.
My weekend wasn’t all art and ghost stories though, I also did my usual stuff – walking the dog, making meals, puttering around, but at a much slower pace than usual.
It is no fun to be sick but being ‘too sick to go out’ and ‘not up to doing much at home either’ was a great reason to prioritize rest, creativity, and taking good care of myself.
What are your go-to activities when you are feeling under the weather?
*As I write this on Monday afternoon, I am feeling better than I was on the weekend but still not great. I actually ended up having to reschedule a dentist appointment AND a mammogram so I could keep my germs at home instead of taking them on tour to various medical facilities.
** Don’t worry, it wasn’t all caffeinated. I alternated between Cold 911 from David’s Tea, Ginger Peach, Chocolatey Chai, Wild Sweet Orange, (no caffeine so far!) and black tea (there’s the caffeine!) with the occasional foray into boiled water with lemon, candied ginger, and honey. I also drank regular old cold water.
Hmm, if I were to pull a Tarot card before I started exercising would that mean I was doing a woo-kout?
Yes, I do find myself funny. Your mileage may vary.
As a writer, a storyteller, and someone who is intrigued by mysteries, magic, and ghost stories, I love Tarot cards, Oracle cards, story dice, and all of that kind of stuff.
A few tiles from a set of oracle tiles I created for myself out of wooden tiles, drawings, stickers, and collage items. Image description: six small rectangular tiles on a wrinkled green cloth. One tile has three candles and a striped background, one has a gold star against a background of black lines, one has a window or maybe a French door against a green background and there are flowers in a vase in front of the door/window, another has the word wonder cut from a magazine against a black background with gold polkadots, another shows a green puzzle piece against a background of gold and black alternating lines, and the final one shows a sticker of a snail moving up a green hill that I drew on the tile.
And I use those tools regularly for writing, storytelling, journaling, and reflecting.
I’m not particularly mystical about using them. I know that some people are very engaged with the rituals around Tarot but I generally think of myself as in conversation with my subconscious rather than with an unknown force. (The woo in my title is more about playing with perceptions than about my approach to engaging with these tools.*)
I like the way that Tarot or Oracle cards give me a container for examining my thoughts, feelings, and reactions to a situation.
And given the speed at which my ADHD brain seeks context, generates ideas, and weaves a web of connecting thoughts, it can be a relief to have a structure I can borrow to organize my thinking.
So, when I found myself planning to journal on the question, “What could make it easier for me to exercise?, it made sense for me to turn to my Tarot cards for some guidance.
 I drew the Three of Cups.
This particular three of cups card is from the Phantomwise Tarot by Erin Morgenstern and the images are related to her book The Night Circus. Image description: A tarot card is propped up between the keys of my black computer keyboard. The card depicts three feminine presenting figures in long dresses and black opera gloves lifting glasses high in the air towards each other in a ‘Cheers’ sort of gesture. The occurred itself is black, and all of the images are in black white and grey.
The interpretation of this card seems pretty straightforward (although there are ways to dive deeply into the meanings of any card, of course.)
This card is about friendship, joy, support, and connection and it resonated with me in terms of my exercise practice.
I know that all of those things can be helpful for any ongoing practice but I hadn’t really thought about whether I needed to include them in my fitness plans.
But ensuring that friendship, joy, support, and connection are part of the plan seems like a pretty good place to start making my exercise easier to do.
So I changed the nature of the questions I was asking myself.
Instead of just ‘What could make it easier to exercise?’ I asked myself:
How can I make the exercise process more fun?
How can I make exercise a more social activity?
What kind of support do I need to make it easier for me to exercise?
Now, I know that all of these questions have come up for me before.
They’ll probably come up again.
But since the initial question occurred to me now and those other questions arose as a result, they’re worth exploring.
I don’t think I would’ve thought along these lines without drawing that card.
I probably wouldn’t have considered whether I needed a social element or more moral support right now.
But since the themes of that card resonated with me, I’m going to explore how they might be helpful to me.
A different card may or may not have resonated but, at the very least, it would have guided me to different questions to consider.
And journalling without pulling a card would have probably been helpful but my thoughts may not have been focused and they likely have sent me off in a whole different direction.
So, just as I had hoped, pulling a Tarot card gave me a container for my thoughts, a way to direct my inquiries that felt purposeful.
And even if the card hadn’t resonated, I would have been able to journal about why that definitely wasn’t what I needed – a helpful piece of information in itself.
Anyway, I’ll let you know about any useful answers that arise from my journalling in response to these questions.
And now I have a few questions for you:
Do you ever use Tarot as a way to guide or contain your thinking on a given topic?
Have you ever found Tarot useful for your fitness practices?
Would you like me to pull a card to help guide your thinking about a fitness question?
If so, please let me know in the comments!
*If you have a more mystical or esoteric approach to using divination tools, please don’t think I am dismissing you here. I am aiming for a clear description of my approach not a dismissal of yours.
Someone, somewhere, recommended I read the book If You Can’t Take the Heat, by Geraldine DeRuiter. I put it on my TBR list and forgot about it until I was looking for something from the library and picked it up. I’m glad I did.
Geraldine DeRuiter (everywhereist.com) is known as a food writer, but this isn’t exactly a food book. It’s mostly a biography, but filled with both biting feminist commentary and hilarious turns of phrase. I don’t mark up books, or use bookmarks to remember particularly interesting bits in books I’m reading, but this one is full of sticky notes. Here are a few of my favourite lines:
From page 11 of the first chapter, entitled “the First Taste of Defiance”: I wouldn’t touch hot dogs, but consumed pig’s feet and boiled cow’s tongue with all the restraint of an underfed hyena, delighting in my cousins’ and brother’s horror. (This was when I knew I would love the book).
It’s a hard thing to learn: that we can ask things of other people, that we can order food how we want it. That our bodies deserve to be nourishing and loved and fed the way we want them to be.
On being trapped in the kitchen preparing Thanksgiving dinner with the other women of her family: Growing up, I had plenty of examples of men cooking…In my ruthless assessment, when someone could not cook, they’d failed at adulthood. But I found myself judging women slightly more harshly than I judged me when I discovered they were inept in the kitchen. I simply expected lore of them, at least culinarily, which was unfair to everyone…I’ve accepted the feminist notion that women can do everything, but the idea that we don’t have to do certain things is taking a bit longer to sink in.
On paying at restaurants: By not endeavouring to imagine that [women] might be the ones picking up the bill, the staff is not regarding them as legitimate patrons of the restaurant. They are there as accessories for the male guests. Given the transactional role that biting a woman dinner has historically carried in Western society, the entire situation becomes even more fraught.
On coping with anxiety by amassing food in case of disaster: My favourite part of any survival story is the acquisition of food and water…I love when the befriend a dog, which people in disaster stories almost always do, because it adds dimension to the story, but also because dogs are edible!
The contents of my pantry would not stop my father from getting cancer, would not prevent my mother from forgetting a portion the stove and burning down the house she had lived in for twenty-five years. I was ignoring the first precious word in the phrase “comfort food” – that in order to comfort, the grief and pain have already arrived. The casserole delivered in the wake of a tragedy does not reach back and undo the devastation. But…it reminds us, at a time when we so desperately need it, that we are loved.
According to the psychologist Sandra Thomas, a leading researcher in the field of gender and anger, anger is often perceived as a distinctly masculine trait….In that same vein, women are taught that anger is undermined, and to suppress, it, until one day we drop dead from a lifetime of biting our own tongues.
On body image: I had very distinct dietary goals. I wanted to outlive all of these assholes and be healthy enough to dance on their graves.
It’s not all snappy one-liners and fury. Her struggles as a child in a chaotic and sometimes abusive household, her complicated feelings about her mostly-absent father, the misogyny and hate she has faced for daring to have opinions in the public sphere are all laid bare. But she has great tenderness for her parents, her friends, and most of all, her husband.
I wasn’t sure what to expect when I picked up this book. But I’m very glad I did.
My library copy of If you Can’t Take the Heat. It has a pink cover with a woman’s hand crushing a frosted pastry. A whole bunch of blue sticky notes are hanging out the side.
