aging · challenge · femalestrength · motivation · running · Science · technology

No Surrender: Dancing with Resistance and Acceptance as I Approach a New Decade

Cognitive surrender is an essential new term that’s arisen to describe the abdication of our own reasoning to a machine that sounds fluent, confident, and authoritative. Studies are showing that when people interact with AI tools, they accept flawed reasoning at a startling level (almost 75% of the time). Not because they don’t have the capacity to reason better themselves. But because it is easier not to question. As a writer, it will likely come as no surprise that I’m leery of outsourcing. I worry about dulling not just my cognitive capacity, even more so my creativity.

And, yes, I have started working with AI tools, because I also think it’s important to understand what these machines are all about and how I might use them in an un-surrendered manner. I almost used the word collaborate in that last sentence, instead of use. I chose not to, because I’m not yet ready to acknowledge these machines as entities. That feels like surrender. This from someone who is more than willing to see trees as sentient beings well before reading Michael Pollan’s new book, A World Appears.

I am exploring the border between surrender and leveraging these cognitive machines to free my time for deeper engagement with the world. More akin to my vacuum cleaner than a friend.

I have been thinking a lot about surrender in my body, too. Every time I read an article about aging and activity, which tells me that I should move more gently, now that I’m on the verge of a new decade, a part of me growls protectively. Not yet.  

This physical version of surrender can be seductive. Messaging that encourages the little voices that say: I’m older now. Intensity is harder. Recovery is harder. Maybe I should just… let these things be harder. Be gentle with myself. Slow down. Stop. Lie down. The End. Okay—those last four are the hyperbole kicking in.The reasoning (without exaggeration) arrives fluently, confidently, with authority. And, as with AI reasoning, if I’m not careful, I might accept these blandishments about aging without interrogating the particularities of my own case.

I see the parallel this way: an authoritative-seeming signal in the form of an AI answer or an aging body; the availability of a path of least resistance; the ways that acceptance is not neutral, reshaping what we expect of ourselves and ultimately what we are actually capable of.

What the cognitive surrender research captures is that the problem isn’t using external tools. We humans have been off-loading cognitive tasks for a while now. Thank you, calculators. The red flag is what happens when we stop verifying. When silken reasoning substitutes for truth. When we accept not because we’ve evaluated, but because it’s so frictionless (and pleasant) to not expend the effort.

In the physical realm, adjusting our expectations as we age is not always surrender. Of course not. Surrender is unexamined acceptance.  Letting the message of limitation go unchallenged. Sliding past the effort of finding out just what we are still capable of.  

I turn 60 this year. I’d like to say I feel easy, breezy about that. I don’t. I’m in search of the right balance of grace and grit. I have set myself the goal of running a half marathon (21 kilometers or 13.1 miles) every month. Twelve months, twelve runs (among all the other runs I will do). When I was younger, that distance was a regular sized effort. Last year, I did not run that distance even once. And my year culminated in foot surgery in late November (which I wrote about here).

The decision has an element of stubbornness, to be sure. I am a Taurus, after all. On New Year’s Day, I started the year running 21k with my brother on mountain trails. I had a genuine concern that I would not run the whole distance. It took a while. I got it done. I was inspired. And so, this challenge. As I write this, four 21k are done. Eight to go.

I hear the voices that tell me: You’re not built for this anymore. I’m checking their veracity. They might be right. I might not be up for the challenge. I want to be gentle with myself, if I’m not. This is not about punishment. It’s about exaltation. The joy of discovering, each month, that I still have the capacity.

When I was a child, my mother always made us take the stairs. I remember glancing longingly at elevators as we passed them by. Now I live on the eighth floor, and I take the stairs almost every time I leave or come home. Not always. I’m realistic, not rigid. Not because I’m proving something. Because the habit of not surrendering has become its own kind of instinct. My mother was training something in me: the reflex to push gently against the available convenience, to stay curious about what I might actually be capable of.

The AI researchers found that people with higher fluid IQ scores were more likely to maintain their own judgment under pressure. I do not claim any extra intelligence. I think gentle resistance is more about habit. The habit of fact checking.

This is what I want to hold onto as I run my way through this year, one half marathon at a time. Not the delusion that there no limits that come with age. I have plenty. Instead, I want to cultivate the discipline of inquiry, to distinguish real limits from the limits that are presented with confidence, waiting for me to accept them without scrutiny.

My body, like a large language model, will tell me what it thinks I want to hear in smooth and reasonable tones. Rest. Take the elevator. Watch Netflix.

Sometimes my body is right. And I will be dancing with surrender and resistance, until I find the choreography that leads to graceful, gritty acceptance.

aging · fitness · food · health · nutrition · Science

Why one new anti-aging supplement is great… if you’re a dolphin

One never knows what one’s media feed will present to one on any given day.

Last Monday morning, the following ad appeared:

Ad for Fatty 15 (TM), a bottle of pills claiming to improve  your health in miraculous ways.
Ad for Fatty 15 (TM), a bottle of pills claiming to improve your health in myriad and miraculous ways.

My first thoughts were:

  • Fatty15?
  • FATTY15?
  • Really?!
  • THAT’S the name the marketing team came up with in order to SELL this to me?
I am so very confused. Thanks Uday Mittai from Unsplash, for the perfect rendition of it.
I am so very confused. Thanks Uday Mittai from Unsplash, for the perfect rendition of it.

Okay, what in the wild and unregulated supplement world is this FATTY15 thing? Here’s the TLDR version.

  • There are a lot of fatty acids.
  • They are found in lots of foods we eat.
  • Omega-3 fatty acids are a good fatty acid. They’re found in e.g. salmon, walnuts and edamame.
  • Trans-fats are a bad fatty acid. They’re found in e.g. many ultra-processed and fried foods, and many baked goods.
  • C15:0 is a recently found fatty acid. We don’t know much about it.
  • A new company called FATTY15 (again, wtaf) wants to sell it to you, promising you whole health in a bottle.

BUT BUT… HOW DID THE DOLPHINS GET INVOLVED?

Patience– I’m getting to this now.

It turns out that some dolphins work for the US Navy. They detect underwater mines and enemy swimmers (don’t ask me how). Part of their employee health plan includes research on and treatment of diseases related to dolphin-aging (they get some of the same diseases we do).

This person below– Dr. Stephanie Venn-Watson, the translational medicine and research program director for the Navy’s National Marine Mammal Foundation– led a crack team of dolphin health experts to manage their care.

Honestly, if my job were to make sure that dolphins lived their best life ever while in the emply of the United State government, I'd look that happy, too.
Honestly, if my job were to make sure that dolphins lived their best lives ever while in the employ of the United States government, I’d look that happy, too.

Here’s some info from this article:

The team analyzed the dolphins’ blood samples taken throughout their lives to identify molecules present in the healthiest dolphins. One of the top nutrients was the molecule C15:0, a saturated fatty acid (pentadecanoic acid). In the human diet, C15:0 is present in dairy fat—whole milk, butter, and cheeses.

Obviously, dolphins don’t have that option after infancy, unlike humans. But don’t worry– your research dollars found a solution:

when they fed [older] dolphins with chronic diseases diets higher in C15:0 (fatty fish), they became healthier. Further research supported their findings that C15:0 lowers risk and can actually reverse many chronic diseases [in older dolphins, maybe], making it an essential fatty acid, a nutrient that the body does not produce but is essential to health.

Venn-Watson co-wrote this paper to argue for proof of concept for C15:0, but with no human studies. Then she started a company to try to sell C15:0 to humans, since dolphins a) don’t carry credit cards; and b) C15:0 supplements are covered by their navy employee health plan. She also wrote a book to help shill this stuff. And gave a TEDx talk to shill some more. But we have any actual evidence that it works?

Healthier skin/hair? NO
Balanced metabolism? Uh-uh. Deeper Sleep? No chance. 3X more cellular benefits than omega-3? What does this even mean?
Healthier skin/hair? NO
Balanced metabolism? Uh-uh.
Deeper Sleep? No chance.
3X more cellular benefits than omega-3? What does this even mean?

And is it FDA-approved? Hell to the no. Just like all those other untested supplements. Please, oh, please just save your money.

BUT BUT THE FATTY15 WEBSITE!

It says all kinds of things that maybe are true. What about their claims?

Text on a slide discussing claims about essential fatty acids and a related study, highlighting skepticism towards certain assertions.

To sum up:

  • The dolphins are going to be okay.
  • We are going to be okay.
  • Eating food and moving our bodies are good things to do, be we human or dolphin.
  • The one supplement that I personally can recommend is to supplement your viewing by adding Heated Rivalry to your watchlist. You’ll be glad you did.

aging · celebration · swimming

I am Officially a Senior Lifeguard

Today I turn 65. I already belong to a Facebook group called Senior Lifeguards.

I just finished my skills of the month which are basically the same as the fitness tests for my National Lifeguard certification. I redid that qualification a month ago.

It sometimes seems like a crazy thing to do this job, but I love it. Happy birthday though me!

The back of my red pinny folded to show the words lifeguard/sauveteur in whire, with my green whistle attached by a cord so it’s handy in case of emergencies.
aging · cycling · fitness · injury

Getting on and off your road bike with grace!

Sometimes I worry that I’ve run out of things to blog about, but then there are new injury and age-related challenges that arise, I know that I am not alone, and I want to share the solutions I’ve found.

One of the things that older cyclists sometimes struggle with is getting on and off our road bikes. It’s enough of an issue that sometimes people choose a different style of bike–say, one with a step-through frame–when they get older. This issue didn’t bother me until knee surgery. My knees aren’t as bendy as they once were, and I also have stiff hips. I do a lot of physio, but I’m still not very flexible.

For me, it almost never is a problem getting on the bike. I’m all limber and stretchy then. Sometimes getting off, though, can be dicey, and it’s almost always when we’re stopping in front of a coffee shop, full of fellow cyclists, that I struggle. It’s embarrassing, and so I’m keen to find other ways to do it. If I’m home I sometimes gently drop the frame to the ground, in the grass, and step out and over it that way. Very easy! But necessarily something I want to do on the side of the road.

This video was really helpful. Turns out that I’m a fan of number 2, the side lean, and it’s how I now how I get on and off my road bike.

How about you?

This was another video of “magnificent” ways to dismount your bike. Enjoy!

aging · celebration · feminism · fitness

Honouring my First and Best Feminist Ally

Dad died a few weeks ago. He was not an obvious feminist ally at first glance; he started his 48 year military career back in the 1950s, not exactly the most progressive of times. He didn’t speak up much, and though he delighted in talking about politics from time to time, he was in his 80s before I knew his voting preferences.

He also didn’t talk about feminism or women’s rights, at least not directly. He did, however, delight in his all-female family, starting with my Mom. She was a rebel, having left her home in rural Alberta for Toronto, having her own career, and having and keeping a child (me) at a time when doing so outside of marriage was almost unheard of. They dated for a month, decided on a Tuesday to get married on a Saturday, and were deeply in love for 63 years.

Dad and Mom at my son’s wedding in 2023. Dad never missed a chance to sneak a kiss, and Mom was always happy to oblige.

My sister and I were raised to believe there was almost nothing we couldn’t do if that was what we wanted. Olympic swimming goals and my career as a concert pianist were derailed by lack of swim club and musical talent, but he happily paid for and drove me to all those swimming and piano lessons, even when money was very tight. Though he never finished high school himself, he encouraged and supported both of us to go to university (my sister did journalism, law, and ethics; I did music, political science, French and international development).

One of my favourite memories is the time he lamented that he hadn’t been a good role model because neither my sister nor I were married. No Dad, you were the best model. You showed us what being a great partner and father looked like, and we weren’t prepared to settle for anything less.

Dad, in Mom’s favourite picture of him.
aging · climbing · fitness

Chronicles of 50, part 2: Kim is still climbing that mountain, at the top of which she learns a valuable lesson about how to go on

by Kim Solga

(This is part two of a two-part post about Kim’s turning 50. CW: some talk about body image and weight, as a part of reflecting honestly on the aging process)

I was home from Jordan maybe a couple of weeks before Sam starting asking me to write a post about my adventures. I love to write and I love Sam so of course I agreed. I figured Sam wanted me to do a blow-by-blow of how awesome it all was, but I had another idea.

I booked that adventure in Jordan in September 2023, after dad’s death was in the rearview and things with mom were starting to settle down. It was supposed to be a cycling trip at first, and I was super keyed up about treating myself to what I was sure would be a really solid riding adventure. After all, I was a fearless cyclist, and the summer before I was still doing centuries with my club. But summer 2023 was not my best cycling season (no kidding Kim; your dad had just died and your mom had become your ward!), and by summer 2024 and in the wake of the crash, I felt something new.

I thought of the impending birthday riding trip, and I felt scared.

I decided the risk of becoming re-injured in the Middle East was too great. I swapped the riding trip for a hiking one that was classed as “moderate” on the adventure company website, and I began to feel confidence return. I’m a good hiker and I can climb with great endurance; I was sure this would be fun and only a bit of a challenge.

I needed new gear for the trip, so I took myself to my local outdoor shop in early September. I tried on a bunch of different hiking trousers; the ones in “my size” did not fit. By some margin. I grabbed larger sizes, fending off panic. When I found a couple of pairs that fit and looked good I began to breathe out again. But then, oh then, I had to do the swimsuits.

When I flew to Amman on 26 September, I was trepidatious. My body was now noticeably different to me; after the outdoor store experience I began scrutinizing myself in the mirror; my middle was bigger, and seemed to be getting bigger every day. I tried on a bunch of my lesser-worn clothes and quickly built a donation pile. I tried to breathe and reminded myself that when I was sharp in those black and white check trousers I was 43; it’s not unreasonable that they are not a good fit for me now. I made another pile of clothes to take to my tailor, and I assured myself Monty would make me both look and feel good in them again. Still, I cried.

On our first full day in Jordan, I learned that, with one exception, my hiking companions were about 30. One of them had completed an ironman only days before! Over breakfast the next morning, several of them were sharing mountain climbing stories; the Welsh trio were swapping hill-bagging brags. I realized that this was a super fit group; I was fit too, I once more told myself, but… I wasn’t 30 anymore. And I hadn’t been up a mountain in quite a while.

What if I couldn’t do this? Or worse: what if I could do it, but I was… slow? Held us up? Ended up the slower, older, odd one out?

Anxiety clutched my insides as we boarded the bus for our first destination.

OK, so a lot happened over the next few days. Two of the youngsters fell stomach-ill, affecting our pace and reminding me that everyone is vulnerable adventuring far from home. I kept up; I felt proud of myself. I also struggled with the rock-scrambling, of which there was more (A LOT MORE) than advertised. I turned my struggles into a joke, pretending they were an aberration for me; every new rocky rise sent my heart into my throat.

By the time we got to Mountain Day, me and myself had to have a talk.

You’ve got to make a choice, I reasoned. Up until now, you’ve gotten away (sort of) with pretending you’re still 30, and hiding the physical and mental pain that’s causing you. Sure, you’ve proved it: you can keep up. But why? What do you gain? And what are you losing?

That afternoon, in the back of the open jeep, barreling through the Wadi Rum desert, I told the two women I was riding with about my AnkSpon. About the bike crash. About how my left side hurt, pretty much all the time, and about how I’d initially planned to do the cycling trip but then got cold feet.

One of them, George, asked me point blank: Kim, are you scared of what we’re about to do? Are you afraid of the climb?

I said I was. And then I felt about a thousand times better.

By the time we gathered at the base of Jabal Umm ad Dami , everyone knew I was worried – and everyone knew to look out for me. I joked with Larry the Body Builder, incredibly sweet and unbelievably jacked, that it was a good thing he could bench press two of me with air to spare because, if I got into trouble, he was going to be my ride. He said sure, of course! As we rose into the sky I hung toward the back of the pack mostly, with different 30-somethings taking turns at my side. We still climbed in (what was for the adventure company) record time.

The feeling at the summit was, for me, exhilarating. Not only had I done the thing, but I hadn’t pretended it was easy. I’d asked if I needed a hand. I hadn’t asked us to slow down, but I knew that I could if I wanted to.

We took a bunch of goofy pictures, poised awkwardly on the narrow swell of summit rocks. We turned our mobile phones toward the Saudi border, trying to catch a signal. We ate dates and saluted Mohammed, who (holy crap!) climbs the mountain 3-4 times a week in high season and knew all the best ways down. We laughed at how much more fit he was than the rest of us.

I felt strong, and I felt free.

***

At the end of my two months away, I spent a week at the Plum Village practice centre in southern France. I lived in the nuns’ community, Lower Hamlet. We meditated together, ate in silence together, sang together, cleaned the dishes together, walked together, got lost on a hike together (really! The novice nun who had been there just a few days laughed with us as she told us she had no idea where we were), and much more.

We were present to each other, together. I’ve never felt more at peace, more in my whole self, in my whole life.

This is a typical reaction for first time visitors to Plum Village (I’m assured), but it also had a profound effect on me.

The peace lasted a couple of weeks; the memories will last longer. But not long after I landed back in Toronto, I felt the anxiety return with a vengeance.

A few days ago I was at the gym when I had a panic attack. We were rowing 1000m; I aimed for my “usual top pace” and freaked out when I realized I had come out of the block far too hard. My usual top pace was not my usual top pace anymore.

I got off the rower, stood in front of my barbell, and hung my head between my knees. I couldn’t find my breath; I couldn’t find my ground.

I couldn’t find now.

Later, the coach, Craig, reminded me that nobody is bionic; we all have to adjust, all the time.

And so I’m trying. I try hard each day to remember the lessons of my time away. Of being with the me of that moment; of adjusting myself to the needs of that moment. Of feeling the earth, the rocks, the sun, sky, and air. Of living the exhilaration of the moment, however it shows up to meet me.

It’s a daily challenge. It will be a whole life challenge.

aging · death · fitness · meditation

Chronicles of 50, part 1: Kim reflects on dealing with loss and coming to terms with profound change

by Kim Solga

(This is part one of a two-part post about Kim’s turning 50. CW: talk about eldercare and subsequent death)

Sam and Tracy started this blog two years ahead of their 50th birthdays. Their goal: to be their fittest selves at 50, and to show the world how it’s done, the feminist way. I started following them early, and Sam invited me to join the blogging team in 2013. I’m younger than many of the bloggers here: when I started writing for FIFI I was 38, a long distance cyclist, and cocky as hell. One of my first posts was report on what remains one of my proudest cycling achievements: in July 2013, for the disability arts charity SCOPE, my then-husband and I rode the 450+km from London (UK) to Paris, France in 24 hours and 14 minutes.

Last September, the day before my 50th birthday, I climbed Jordan’s highest mountain, Jamal Umm ad Dami, on the border with Saudi Arabia. (I was hiking the country along with eight other adventurers and a hilarious and kind guide called Mahmoud. For the mountain climb, we were also joined by an insanely fit young Bedouin guide called Mohammed.) On my birthday morning, I woke up at 5am to ride a camel into the desert sunrise; it was magical. It was also still late evening in Montreal, where I was born, so *technically* I was still 49 at the time. And don’t think I didn’t tell people.

As that day progressed and we traveled the highway to the Dead Sea, I felt the ache of the previous several days’ hiking in all of my bones, and especially in the ones connecting my left leg and hip to my spine. I’d crashed my road bike in early July, requiring surgery (and a lot of metal props) to repair my shattered left radius. My left hip, already a liability of sorts because of my joint-munching autoimmune disorder (Ankylosing Spondylitis), had been giving me extra trouble ever since. What’s worse, that crash was avoidable. It happened close to home, in my local park, because I was over-tired from attempting to ride 157km solo across June 30 and July 1, to mark not Canada’s birthday (of course not!) but rather 157 years of… settler colonialism.

Cate and Susan teased me a lot about that one; dumb idea all around, Kim.

I had to admit they were right, and not just because my made-up justification sounds, well, REALLY BAD when you say it out loud. The truth was that 38-year-old Kim would not have minded at all 157km in one go. Kim at 43 would have groaned but done it anyway. Forty-seven-year-old Kim would have been daunted, but she would have made.

And nearly 50-year-old Kim? She was nervous. And so decided she had to do it anyway.

To prove nothing had changed. To prove she was the same woman, same athlete, as ever.

To prove her body was still hers to boss around and control.

Except it wasn’t. It isn’t.

***

I was away two months last fall; that’s one of the benefits of my incredibly good, very lucky job as a university professor. I was on sabbatical, and because I have tenure I didn’t need to hunker down and write a new book. I’d long decided that this was the sabbatical I was going to gift myself self-care; in fact, I’d made that a promise to my rheumatologist when I saw her in the spring.

You see, the thing a lot of folks don’t tell you about reaching this age has to do, intimately, with care. If you are a woman reaching this age, you probably won’t have been thinking much about care in the years leading up to and through perimenopause, because, well, you’ll have been too busy doing it. If you’re a woman my age with kids, those kids are finally launching (if you are lucky). However, at the same damn time, your parents are aging, and fast.

I’ve got no kids, but in April 2023 I was a parent to an extremely old doggo called Emma that I loved more than anything, and two elderly parents who refused to look their endgame in the face. I helped Emma pass on 1 May 2023, and I’m proud I gave her such a good death, because at the time I was fighting my dad on literally every care decision we were trying to make as we navigated his rapidly plunging heart and lung health and my mother’s wheelchair-bound semi-mobility. He wouldn’t accept care for her; he insisted on doing it all himself. He wouldn’t accept care for him, either. He refused to say anything was truly wrong.

I was swimming in the ocean off the coast of Cornwall in June 2023 when my mother emailed me to say that dad was in the hospital. Less than a week later I was flying back to Toronto; he had been admitted to palliative care. The next few months are a blur. I took over my mother’s life management, realizing with horror how little she knew of bank accounts, bill payments, and What Happens Now. By hook, crook, and the help of an amazing Senior Move Specialists called Janice, by Christmas we had her safely moved into a wonderful new care facility. She had her own apartment (for the first time in her adult life!), and, briefly, I felt easy. Then, in April 2024, she had a bad fall; she was not wearing her alert button. She lay half-dressed in her bathroom for what we guess was about 16 hours; she went from the tile floor to the ICU, and she never came home again.

***

In Buddhist traditions, practitioners learn to value the present – to be here now, as they say. The present moment is the one we occupy this very minute, and it is all around us, in all oof our senses. It’s not in our phones and it’s not in our other distractions. It’s also not the moment that was the present of our past selves, past bodies, or past expectations. Those moments are gone; we may have learned from them (if we are lucky) but whether or not we did, they are the past now.

I’m trying hard to be more Buddhist these days; I’ve been practicing in the Plum Village tradition of Thich Nhat Hanh for a couple of years now. In Plum Village, we often say: present moment, wonderful moment.

But who am I now, in this new present moment?

***

What happened after mom died? I’d been a wreck so long, managing eldercare and trying to do my job alongside, that initially, briefly, I felt free. But then I started to notice things. For the first time in a long time I was paying closer attention to my self: my body, my heart, my injured soul. I began to realize that I wasn’t just getting older – I was there. I could see clearly that I was in perimenopause, and that I probably had been for some time.

I began to realize that I was more tired than ever. I reasoned, of course: you’ve been to the wars, Kim. It’s only natural you need to rest! But resting had never before been in my vocab; like so many people my age (so many women my age!), rest is defeat. Keep going, keep hustling, keep riding and lifting and burpee-ing until you drop. That, to me, was my superpower.

I did not drop – I could not drop.

Until now.

aging · fitness

On Being Old(er)

I’m old-ish. Having just turned sixty, I’ve entered the third act of my life, which may be shorter than my first two. But I’m not old like my mother is old. She is 90, so she probably has entered the last decade of her life, unless she crosses the century line (Go, Mom!).

These are empirical numbers, however, and it’s caught my attention lately that the facts of aging don’t mean much to people talking about being “old.” Or rather, about being called “old.” We want to avoid being called “old,” apparently, because the label signals that we’ve lost a bounce in our step or in our minds. And sometimes just looking a certain way—like, growing in grey hair after years of colouring—can signal this decline or a willingness to let this decline occur. We need to look like we’re going to fight “old” every inch of the way.

We are all familiar with the description of post-menopausal women as decrepit crones, and one hopes feminists fight ageism when they see it, calling out the misogyny hidden in the word “old.” But I worry that for fit feminists, the temptation to stay on the younger side of “old” may complicate what we know and don’t know. We value our fitness and we work hard to maintain it. Competitive folks may like their AG (age group) wins. Even if our times get slower, we like being faster than our peers.  All this is well and good, but it doesn’t necessarily bring us face to face with the cold hard truth: death is coming for us, sooner, in my case, rather than later. We watch the elderly struggle and pray that our cardio and strength training will preserve us. We pretend that the products our social media feeds are so keen to sell us will erase the lines we see in the mirror, that we can push through tiredness and ignore changes to our bodies.  

But, as a friend of mine pointed out, those of us who are able-bodied are only temporarily so.  Anyone, through injury or accident, can find their embodied lives radically transformed in an instant. And death will certainly put an end to all of us one day, whatever the tech-bros say. Are we ready?

In a poem titled “In the Waiting Room,” Elizabeth Bishop describes her seven-year-old self accompanying her aunt to a medical appointment. While in the waiting room, the child hears her aunt cry out in pain. The sound prompts a sudden realization of the humanity that the young Elizabeth shares with her older relative: 

What took me

completely by surprise

was that it was me:

my voice, in my mouth.

These days, I’m trying to listen to the less steady steps of the elderly and to witness my own aging without simply imagining ways to avoid it. I am working toward giving up the dream of radical autonomy and accepting myself for what I am: a frail mammal given a brief moment to share this beautiful world with other living things who will also die one day.

Jane Goodall enjoying a wetland walk with an elderly friend.

William Waterway, CC BY-SA 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0, via Wikimedia Commons

aging · fitness

Challenging Perceptions of Old Age

I love this woman’s attitude. Well, sort of. She made me laugh. She also made me wonder about old, and old age, and elderly and what counts.

“Late, late, late middle-aged” definitely made me laugh.

And it got us talking in the blog group.

Alison wrote, “What’s wrong with “elderly”? Or “old”? When I let my grey hair grow in, my mother objected, “It makes me feel old.” Mom, you’re 90. You ARE old.”

Cate added, “I also don’t mind being called old. I think 60 is sort of cusp-y where there is no longer any doubt that oldness is on the horizon, although I think I personally feel like “old” will land on me when the first CPP cheque lands in the mail. But I was happy to take the seniors discount on the French train. Old is permission for so many things, to me.”

I’ve been thinking about aging too lately. Sometimes people ask me if I’m still working and I confess to being taken aback. Of course, I’m still working. I have no intention of retiring anytime soon. (Good thing too! I’m trying not to look at my pension funds in light of Trump-induced stock market crashes.) But lots of people my age (60) are retiring. It’s a perfectly normal age to retire, even though my plan (all going well) is closer to 70.

I also see groups of older people and then I wonder, are they my age? Do I look like that? What’s “like that” even mean though? Sometimes, it’s “old lady hair.” Or “old lady clothes.” But that’s not about age really. Probably I didn’t like their hairstyles and clothes and wouldn’t have chosen them for myself when they were 30 or 40.

I guess it also feels funny to suddenly be in the same age group as my mum. She’s in her early 80s. I’m in my early 60s. But we’re both, for lots of purposes, seniors. We can both get the high-test flu vaccine now. We can take seniors’ aquafit together. (We don’t but that’s another story. I’d like to!)

So I guess like the 73-year-old in the reel above, I don’t think I’m old. I think I’m late middle-aged. But not yet late, late, late middle-aged. 🙂

That’s not young but it’s not elderly either. Maybe 80 will feel old.

But maybe I’m just not sure what it is to feel a particular age. I felt like a very old young person when I was young and now I feel like a very young older person. Maybe I’ve just always felt like me.

Speaking of feeling like me, this might be me in a seniors’ fitness class.

aging · fitness · strength training · weight lifting

Muscles and age, strength training, and protein for WOMEN OUR AGE

I had one of those doctor’s comments the other day that always gets my back up.  You know,  it began with “at your age.” My age?

Apparently at my age weight and weight loss isn’t as important as maintaining muscle. And as you age,  when you lose weight,  it’s more likely that it’s muscle that you’re losing.

From an article in the Globe and Mail, by Alex Hutchinson, We need better guidelines to deal with age-related muscle loss.

“You might be relieved to hear that the creeping weight gain of middle age – a pound or two (0.5 to 1 kilogram) a year starting in your 20s, on average – eventually grinds to a halt. By the time you’re in your 50s, you’ll typically start slowly shedding weight. Don’t celebrate yet, though. There’s a good chance that the weight you’re losing is muscle – precisely what you need to hang onto to stay metabolically healthy and independent into old age. “

You need to be sure you get enough strength training in and make sure you’re eating enough protein.

Okay,  my doctor might be on to something but still the “at your age” comment rubbed me the wrong way. Lol.

I’ve written lots about this in the past.  Maybe I could have shown him some of my posts!

Past posts:

Elmo