Feminist reflections on fitness, sport, and health
Author: Tracy I
Writer, feminist, vegan blogging at veganpractically.com, runner, philosopher, yogi, knitter, co-founder of Fit Is a Feminist Issue, co-author of Fit at Mid-Life: A Feminist Fitness Journey (Greystone Books, 2018). Current project: a work-in-progress book and blog on imperfect veganism (see veganpractically.com).
Comment from this time in 2024, when I (Tracy) said speed work seemed unnecessary!
Last week Samantha sent me the above reminder of something I said two years ago. The gist of it was a challenge to the idea of being speedy. Indeed, I said “I used to care about going faster but now I just care about continuing to get out the door.”
Fast forward to the present, where in my preparations for my recent 5K I included speed drills. And after completing the 5K to my satisfaction, I set a new goal that would shave a minute and 40 seconds off of my time.
“What changed?” Samantha wanted to know.
Back in September 2024 I was still trying to regain my running rhythm after an Achilles injury that had plagued me since 2019. It took me out long enough that I lost all the gains I’d made over the years. And so that fall of 2024 I was in the mindset where I just wanted to run again and I didn’t want to be injured again.
It was the right frame of mind for the time. But why have different goals now? It’s not as if I am ever going to be speedy. So why bother with speed work and speed goals at all.
As some readers may know, I have been back to the beginning again with Couch to 5K starting in April. I got behind but stuck with it and I liked having structure and a goal. The structure came from the program itself. The goal was simple: complete the program. After I managed to get through week 7 of the 9-week program I switched to the FIRST program outlined in Rin Less, Rin Faster.
For this you do three purposeful runs a week plus two cross-training sessions. The three runs are speed intervals, a tempo run, and a long run. I found myself enjoying switching it up rather than just pounding the pavement in the same way each time I went out. It made things fun. I discovered that I enjoy speed work. All the while I keep my perspective. I am not and never will be a speedster.
As the date of my 5K event approached, I found myself excited to go out with a time in mind. My goal of 37:00 was not a time that would break any records. Not even personal records. But it helped keep me on pace and I finished in 36:40. That felt like an accomplishment.
And so I set a new goal. To hit a 35:00 5K. It is giving me something to train for and we’ll see where it takes me. I said to Samantha back in 2024 that I just wanted to get out the door.
Today, it’s the variety in the training that is actually getting me out the door. One thing I’ve learned over the past 14 years since we’ve been blogging about fitness is that things change. I change. And I need different plans for different times.
Right now I’m enjoying the purposeful running 3x a week. I’m struggling with the swim workouts because of ear aches. I am experimenting with different ear plugs but I’m nervous now whenever I do freestyle, which is my main training stroke for a good workout. It is the only stroke that gives me these ear issues, no doubt because of the head turning for breathing.
So that’s what I’m working on now, as well as sticking with the running through the winter and incorporating resistance training a couple of times a week. I’ve been sporadic with that but it’s important.
All in all, I like being able to set new goals, change my mind, push myself in different ways, and evolve in my priorities. I don’t need to be locked into one track just because I was there before. That is the stuff of boredom and burnout. When I shift and change, it stays fresh and motivating.
Image description: cap, sunglasses, and a race bib for the Constantine Yorkville Run that says “TRACY 793” on it.
A year ago I was walking to the Y on a Sunday morning and found I couldn’t cross Bay street because 1000 runners had just started the Constantine Yorkville 5K. No one could cross until the starting crowd passed by and thinned out. By the time I found a spot to cross the street some blocks down the way, I had resolved to prepare myself to run that very race a year hence.
Which brings me to yesterday—Sunday, September 20, 2026. Race day.
I woke up excited. It’s been years since I’ve done any sort of event and it felt good to be back at it. If motivated me to train with purpose and consistency for the past few months. As a result, I felt ready. I had also let go of any particular expectations. My plan was to do 10-1 intervals and if I felt good enough, skip the walks. If I felt I needed them, do them. With that and my recent training times, I figured I would probably cross the finish line between 35-40 minutes after I started. 37:00 seemed realistic. The weather was also perfect, with no rain, no hot sun, and an air temperature of about 14 degrees C. Ideal for running.
When I got to the starting area and found the green corral I was assigned to based on my estimated finishing time, I remembered why events are fun. The buzz at the beginning is really energizing. It’s been a long time since I did an event by myself. In recent years I’d always signed up Anita and/or some further subset of our London RunFam group (Julie, Ed, Pat and Kevin). But regardless, there is camaraderie at the starting line. This event has about 1000 participants, so the air is electric. I also had Diane cheering me on just past the start and again just before I crossed the finish line.
As my strategy, I decided to fall in behind the 35 minute pacer, knowing that 7:00 per kilometer would be a bit beyond my 5K pace but not by too much. I decided if I could keep him in sight for the first half that would help me stay on pace my slightly slower overall goal.
I felt good enough after the first 10 minute interval to skip the walk. I decided at that time that I would take a one-minute walk at the halfway point instead, then run the rest of the way. After that walk, the 35 minute pacer was no longer in clear sight. That was okay with me because I was in a rhythm that felt good. I kept remembering the constant advice from Nike Run Club Coach Bennett to enjoy yourself on the run. And I was truly enjoying myself. I was even smiling.
My watch was still set to 10-1s, but I didn’t feel the need for any other walks after my minute at the halfway mark. My mind tried to tell me I did need it. But with less than 2K to go I told myself to keep running, even if I needed to roll back the pace a bit.
Finally, I cruised around the last corner and could see the finish line up ahead about 500m. I kept my pace steady and then chose a spot up ahead where I would pick up the pace for a strong finish. As i approached that spot I could see Diane up ahead cheering me towards the finish line. I felt strong and pleased with my run.
Official chip time: 36:40, which is 20 seconds less than my estimated 37:00.
And I raised over $500 for my chosen charity, Sea Paws Rescue. thank you to everyone who donated for helping support this amazing organization.
All in all a great 5K that made me feel good and wanting to get faster. Having a goal race motivated me to get back to regular running, with weekly speed work, a tempo run each week, and a longer run every Sunday. I like that routine and plan to add swimming in the upcoming months. I’m also going to seek out another 5K. Next goal: 35:00 minutes!
Image description: Head shot of a grey-haired woman (Tracy) smiling, wearing a ball cap, sunglasses, and a tank, holding up a finishers’ medal that says Constantine Yorkville 2026.
To mark the completion of easing myself back into running with the Couch to 5K program, I signed up for an event! I have had the Constantine Yorkville Run event in mind for almost a year. I first learned about it last year, on my way to the Y on a Sunday in September. I had to wait to cross the street while 1000 runners made their way across the intersection at Bay and Bloor.
Instead of waiting to cross Bay Street, I kept walking south on the same side of the street, in the same direction of the race route on Bay St. I knew the starting line crowd would dissipate before I needed to get to the other side. By the time I had walked with them for 10 minutes I had race fever myself. I literally got a rush just venturing out into the road as I made my way across, being careful not to interfere with the back-of-the-pack participants still coming (in a thinner stream, as I had predicted). I decided to set it as my year-out training goal.
This happened despite my saying several times along the way in recent years that I am done with events. I mean, it’s not as if I’ve ever been an especially competitive participant. But I have used events to good purpose as training goals before. And this one has certainly done its job. Race day is on September 20, and with just over three weeks to go, I’m feeling good and motivated. It is a charity race with fundraising minimum. My charity of choice for the event is SeaPaws Rescue, an organization based in Ontario that rescues animals locally and overseas. If you’d like to support SeaPaws Rescue through my fundraising page, I would very much appreciate your donation.
I only started training in earnest back in April, when I embarked on the Couch to 5K plan with “beginner’s mind.” It hasn’t gone fully as planned, but I got far enough into the program (to the end of week 7) to feel sufficiently back in the game by about a month ago.
I transitioned from that to the Furman Institute of Running and Scientific Training (FIRST) training plan, as outlined in the book, Runner’s World Run Less, Run Faster. The program is designed to help people run faster with lower than the usual recommended mileage. It has two main components: three purposeful, quality runs a week and two cross-training sessions. Purposeful runs, as the name implies, have a specific training purpose. The three runs are: speed work; tempo runs; and long runs.
Each has a distinct purpose. The speed work sessions are intervals aim at VO2max development with intense intervals that push the pace hard, followed by periods of recovery in between. The tempo runs maintain a sustained effortful pace over a specified distance, most closely mimicking the effort required on race day. The long runs are meant to promote endurance.
The cross-training can be any aerobic activity. I have selected swimming for my cross-training sessions. I hope I can maintain this commitment. I have been having some difficulties with ear aches. This has been an issue for me throughout my adult life. I have managed it in the past with ear plugs. But I am back to experimenting with ear plugs to find a kind that creates a sufficient seal. So far, I have not had any luck. Last week’s swim resulted in a week-long ear ache. So we’ll see. But that’s the plan. The purpose of the cross-training activity is to maintain aerobic capacity while giving the running muscles a rest. Swimming is perfect.
I’m enjoying the idea of the FIRST plan, though I’m sure my intensity and distances are not what the founders had in mind. Regardless, I have built up to 6K for my long runs, so I know I can comfortably complete the 5K on race day. I’m enjoying the speed work a lot — I love interval running and the soft perimeter of Queen’s Park is perfect for the short bursts required. I’m using the NIKE Run Club app’s guided speed runs for coaching through those. As far as tempo runs go, I am maintaining my target pace and slowly extending the time I can maintain at tempo. Yesterday I did two 7-minute intervals at tempo, with a 2-minute rest and recovery walk in between. Next week I’m extending those to eight minutes. And the week after I’m keeping to eight minutes but reducing the recovery time to one minute instead of two. My goal after that will be to maintain 10 minutes at tempo twice, with one minute between.
I think/hope the adrenaline of race day will enable me to cover 5K in three 10-1 intervals. That is my goal — to finish the 5K in under 35 minutes. After that, I will work on a new goal for a spring event. But I don’t want to get ahead of myself.
Image description: Overhead shot of white running shoes on a dark hardwood floor. Shoes show a bit of wear and tear, laces untied. Photo by Tracy Isaacs
Back in early April I posted about easing back into running with the Couch to 5K program. It’s a nine-week program and I had high hopes of being able to complete it as written, within the nine weeks. In my original post I said I’d report back at the end of April with an update, and I thought I’d be done by the end of May.
Well, life has a way of not cooperating with the best laid plans, doesn’t it?
Things started to go sideways when late April got ridiculously busy with the end of classes. Then I had an intensive photography workshop in Indiana where it rained pretty much all the time. I took my gear but I had neither time nor energy nor weather to get out for my runs.
And then I four days after I got back I lost my mother. And that was it. For the next several weeks life was a surreal blur of grief, spending time with others in grief, and making plans to celebrate the life of a wonderful and much-loved woman who we were expecting to be with us for some years to come. It was very sad. And there was no room for a training program.
I have regained my footing enough to get back on track and have almost completed Week 7 of the program. The big jump from reasonable walk and run intervals happens in week 5, where the third run suddenly has a 20-minute continuous run flanked on each end by 5 minutes of walking to warm up and cool down.
Week 6, which is behind me now, goes back to more run-walk intervals but ends with a 25-minute run (as always, 5 minutes of warm-up and cool-down). And Week 7 is just three 25-minute runs, repeating the third day of Week 6. I don’t anticipate any new hurdles (let me touch some wood!) to get in my way. If I’m right, that means I’ll bring the program to a close in the first week of August.
So how’s it going? On balance I’d say it has gone and is generally going well. I did not use the C25K app. Instead I set up the intervals on my Intervals Pro app, and when we got to the longer continuous runs of 20 and then 25 minutes I used the Nike Run Club apps guided runs with Coach Bennett. He’s cheesy but oh so encouraging and makes me feel like I can do it. And so I did that for the first 25 minute run. The other day I did one on my own, using my own inner voice to self-coach in Coach Bennett style. That was my best run to date and I felt a real sense of accomplishment.
I felt nervous about the 20-minute run in week 5 and the 25-minute runs at the end of week 6 and throughout week 7. I have not done a lot of continuous running training in my life, opting mostly for the 10-1 run-walk intervals that the Running Room promotes in its run club, which is where I got my start.
There is an ongoing debate about whether to do continuous running or run-walk intervals. Some people say that over distances the pace balances out and you get a little break to look forward to every 10 minutes. That makes it psychologically easier for some people. I have tried both ways but I admit that I feel like more of a badass when I do continuous. I also find it in some ways easier to maintain a slightly slower consistent pace for longer than to start running again after a one-minute walk break. The countdown at the end of the break sometimes feels as if it’s signalling a fresh new punishment. It’s all attitude and different things work for different people, but at the moment, not taking walk-breaks makes running a more positive experience overall for me. I also had my best 10K time ever (way back when) after the only time I consistently trained for continuous running rather than 10-1 intervals.
I am feeling enough back on track that I even have plans for when I’m done this program and can do 30 minutes of continuous running. I don’t think I will hit a 30-minute 5K, but even in my 50s I couldn’t do that. I’m going to do the Run Less, Run Faster cross-training plan that follows the FIRST method where you do to do three “quality”run and two cross-training workouts (I’m going to swim) each week. I’m also adding some resistance training and a couple of yoga sessions each week. The runs in that program are purposeful: one tempo, one speed intervals session, and one long run.
I’m working on the 5K distance and signing up to do a local 5K in September. I’ll post more about that in a bit. Meanwhile, wish me luck as I embark on the final couple of weeks of C25K. I can see the value in this program and I recommend it for anyone just starting out or wanting to get back into running.
Image description: looking down bare legs towards feet wearing running shoes and socks, standing on a textured concrete sidewalk. Photo by Tracy
I’ve always been drawn to the idea of cultivating beginners’ mind about things that we think we know. It’s a way of going back to that excited learning mindset where we are open-minded, enthusiastic, and teachable.
And so it was with that attitude that I’ve been approaching my spring effort to get back to a regular running routine with the Couch to 5K program. As I wrote at the beginning of the month, it’s a nine week program designed for people new to running.
I’m not new to running, having taken it up as part of Sam and my “Fittest by 50” challenge way back in 2012. But I hit a wall after my last major event, the Around the Bay 30K back in 2019. I injured my Achilles and since then I have never quite hit my stride again. I’ve tried different things, most notably the Nike Learn to Run program a couple of years back. But I couldn’t quite let go of how things “used to be” and the idea that they “should” quickly be that way again.
Not this time. This time I am forcing myself to follow the program as written, not adding more running intervals or skipping weeks that feel too easy. I fell a little bit behind, with some of the weeks being spread out beyond 7 days. So I’m only starting week 4 instead of being at the end of it. Still, I have stuck to the assignment as written. And it’s been easy to get myself out the door because the workouts are so reasonable. (Apparently that changes a bit in week 5)
My beginners’ mind approach has been really good for me because it means I haven’t been too concerned with pace or how far I get or anything that I used to track. I’m not saying I’ll never go back to caring about those things, but it’s liberating to be out there without any concern for speed or distance.
I’m also not comparing myself to anyone else when I’m out there. We all have different goals and right now mine is simply to get back to a three times a week running routine, following the Couch to 5K schedule. That’s it.
Though it’s still early days, I feel confident about recommending this approach to anyone who is new to running or trying to work their way back. It’s a great way to be present for the arrival of spring, which is coming in short bursts this year, with some cold reminders that, at least in my part of the world, we’re not really in the clear until late May. Whatever, a regular running commitment has put me in touch with the vagaries of Canadian spring weather in a direct and enjoyable way.
If you’ve had experience with C25K I’d love to hear about it in the comments!
I’m probably not alone in having stops and starts in my fitness routines. My favourite themes over the years have been about starting small, doing less, getting over injuries with small steps. And that’s where I am again after deciding that I would not participate in winter running this year. It’s been a long winter. I got out there today after a four-month hiatus.
Since I’ve never really managed to stick with a consistent running routine for more than a few months at a time since just before the pandemic, I feel as if I am starting at the beginning.
Today was the first nice day of nice spring running weather, where I could run in shorts and a t-shirt. And so I chose it to be my day one of the beginners running program, Couch to 5K.
Couch to 5K is probably the most widely used learn to run app. It’s a nine-week program designed to get someone from not running at all to running for 30 continuous minutes over the course of three runs a week for nine weeks.
It starts easy and that is just what I want after a long hiatus. Week one has three runs the same: 5 minutes warm up walk, and then 8 intervals of 1 minute of running followed by 1 1/2 minutes of walking, and closing out with a 5 minute walk.
I’m going in with beginners mind because despite having many kilometres under my feet, I feel like a newbie. And I’m open to learning something new about what I can do and how I can do it.
I have let go of what I “used to be able to do,” and am focusing on what I can do today.
A couple of months ago I moved back to Toronto after 33 years in London, Ontario. I last lived in Toronto when I was a Master’s student at U of T from 1987-88. Both I and the city have changed a lot since then. So I had nothing familiar as far as working goes to tap into when I got here in May. Not only that, but my routines had fallen to the side completely over the winter as I prepped for my move. And finally, it’s been a stinking hot summer, not a great time to get back into running.
So when a friend suggested that we try out the Y, which turns out to be just a 12-minute walk from where I live, it sounded like the perfect solution for so many reasons. Most notably, if we were going to join a gym, we wanted it to be a relaxed place with a truly inclusive vibe. The Y definitely ticks that box. It’s also convenient, has great equipment, lots of programming, and a 25m pool. We joined, and here’s what I’ve tried so far:
Aquafit — you can do this 45-minute class in shallow or deep water. So far, I’ve only signed up for shallow. I had a bit of a misconception about aquafit, I have to admit. I thought it would be easy and not feel like much of a workout. It turns out to be a good workout, very much more exerting than I anticipated, especially the part where you use the water dumbbells to create resistance. I’ve been using the blue ones, which are apparently easier than the yellow. I can’t imagine feeling ready for the yellow. But then that is the wonderful thing about resistance training — it makes you stronger.
MuscleFit — another 45-minute class, this time in the gym. Each participant gathers a mixture of light-medium and medium-heavy barbells and dumbbells for a guided full body workout. Again it’s a tough one, where the muscle fatigue is from high reps rather than heavy weights (even the “heavy” weights aren’t especially heavy). The first time I did it I overdid the barbell weights and had to lighten my load. I did better the second time, and have also learned over time that it’s okay to set the weights down and do body weight or take a break if needed. Will I keep doing that? Maybe on occasion but I also want to reintroduce resistance training on my own. The Y has lots of equipment in multiple different rooms and studios. So even when it’s busy it looks as if no one has to fight too hard to get the weights they need, and I remember enjoying the community atmosphere in the weight room.
Yoga — I haven’t found a hot yoga studio yet and will likely wait until the fall to do that, given the heat this summer. But I wanted to get back into a yoga class and it turns out that the Y has those too. I’ve gone a couple of times and had a good experience. Not the most challenging yoga or the most careful instruction, but it’s in a pleasant studio with loads of space, and as with anything, if you know what you’re doing you can make yoga as challenging or as unchallenging as you wish.
Lane swimming — I couldn’t be around a 25m pool for too many days without feeling tempted to get back to lane swimming. I did that this week for the first time, gathering up my gear from back in the day with the intention of doing 40 x 25m in 30 minutes. That would be a pretty slow pace and I didn’t quite make it. I started off with 10 x 25m of breast stroke, which took me to 10 minutes, then cut back from 20 to 15 x 25m freestyle, following by another 10 of breast stroke. It was a lot tougher than I expected it to be but now I have a benchmark and a goal. The goal is to get back to 40 x 25m by the end of the summer. I have no idea if that is realistic. I want to add drills and workouts to my lane swimming at some point. I remember enjoying that kind of training. Being in the pool again feels incredibly good.
As far as running goes, I’ve been out a few times and have reconnected with the “getting started” series of the Nike Run Club again. It’s been a sticky hot summer and I miss my running crew and my familiar routes. But if I can get back to 3x a week, I’ll be pleased with that.
Living in a large urban centre again means a lot more walking in my day to day than before. The traffic here is horrendous at unpredictable times, and if at all possible you want to avoid paying for parking. So much is easily accessible to me on foot, and though people complain about the transit, I adore the subway and live conveniently close to a few stations.
So that’s my report on establishing some fitness routines in a new city. As with anything, it can feel daunting at first. And the loss of community (in my case my running group and the hot yoga studio I frequented) is no small thing. But now that I’ve reconnected with the Y, it’s been an enjoyable experience that’s put me in touch with new and familiar activities in a relaxed atmosphere that offers a sense of community and belonging that I really like.
Image description: Overhead shot of gym stuff lined up on a towel: shower shoes, swim cap, goggles, swim suit, and running shoes. Photo by Tracy I
Image description: Outside shot of a woman (Christine) with dark medium long hair and wearing a short-sleeved shirt, holding a young boy while he climbs on a rope climber in a playground, with dappled light, a fence, and a tree in the background. She is looking up at the boy and the boy is looking up at the next rung of the rope. Photo credit: Viceth Vong.
“Why aren’t you doing another triathlon this year?” an acquaintance asked.
I gulped. “I’m having some, uh, health issues,” I said. I was keeping things vague out of necessity—I had no damn idea what was happening, only that I had a constant (and I mean 100% of the time) headache that reached an unbearable level by the time I left work for the day. I went to sleep pretty much as soon as I got home—not only because being in pain is exhausting, but because sleep was the only time I didn’t feel awful. My life goals had gone from: publish a book, rock my career in publishing, and finish a tri even though I can barely swim, to: get through the day.
In the year after the pain started, I had test after test. They all came back negative, which was a good thing on the one hand (who wants to have a brain tumor or Lyme disease), and utterly frustrating on the other. After each of my appointments at Boston’s various prestige medical clinics, I wanted to scream, Why can’t you just tell me what was wrong with me?
Eventually, through a process of elimination, they diagnosed me with occipital neuralgia (nerve pain in the upper neck) and idiopathic chronic migraines (idiopathic just means that they have no flipping idea why it’s happening.) I tried treatment after treatment (Botox injections, handfuls of pills, various psychologic therapies) but the headaches wouldn’t budge. I was in bed for the vast majority of most days. The body I toned through hours of training atrophied.
Eventually I went to the Cleveland Clinic for a three-week “headache camp,” as a friend called it. There they tweaked my medications but more importantly, they taught me more than I could’ve imagined about headaches and how to maneuver your lifestyle to live with—and hopefully eventually prevent—them.
One of their prescriptions was to get back to exercising. I had all but stopped as the pain consumed me. There were a few scientifically backed reasons for this recommendation: exercise has been shown to reduce the severity of pain in people with many chronic pain conditions; it also greatly helps with the anxiety and depression that often hits people with chronic illnesses of all stripes (and that certainly hit me).
For me, it also allowed me to get back in touch with that former triathaloning self. I started with walking—an exercise I still love. I added yoga and light weight training. Slowly but surely, I started to feel better physically and emotionally. Now, I walk for an hour a few times a week, do pilates at least once a week, and I’m currently attempting to reintroduce weight training after that fell out of my routine. On days I exercise, I feel less achey—and also like my body is my friend again, not something that revolted against me. I feel, too, that I am strong—I hadn’t realized how upsetting it was to my sense of self to think of myself as weak. Now, I am not just someone with a disabling condition, I am someone who can keep up with her son on the playground, who can squat down and lift his four-year-old body, who doesn’t have to fear the idea of trudging around a theme park all day.
I have greater exercise ambitions, too: I plan to conquer a ten-mile hike in the next few months, and an even longer one by the end of the year, with the eventual goal of walking 100 miles or so on Europe’s El Camino Santiago. I have no thoughts of trying for another triathlon, but thanks in part to regular, light exercise, I’m doing much more than just getting through the day now.
If you have a story about exercising during or after illness, we’d love to hear it!
Christine Junge is a writer living in San Jose, CA. She’s currently working on a novel, and blogs about parenting with a chronic illness/disability at ThanksForNothingBody.substack.com
Image description: word cloud in the shape of a simple flower, filled with the Words of the Year from the post below. Generated for free from wordcloud.app
Do you have a word that captures something of an envisioned 2025 touchstone for you? For the past few years we at Fit Is a Feminist Issue have had fun choosing words-of-the-year (#woty). You can see past choices here:
Sometimes we post updates partway through the year to check-in about how it’s going. On occasion, the call for an update sends at least a few of us scrambling to remember what word we had chosen. Some years we choose better than others. To me, the very process of choosing a word-of-the-year is a fun and sometimes revealing attempt to have a thematic focus for the year to come. Today, we present this year’s choices.
Natalie: Steady
Steady is my word. I want to be steady in my exercise, writing, crafting and paid work.
I’m using my bicycle commute to experiment with smaller distances more often. My smart watch is giving me a lot of insight into how inconsistent I have been in 2024.
Since I’m working on my balance I also want to be steady on my feet and on my bike. Re-training my brain is a big part of this.
Steady as she goes!
Samantha: Engage
Engage is my word for 2025. On the work front it’s my first research leave in eight years since winter 2017. I’ve never gone that long without leave before and I’m keen to re-engage with ideas, and arguments, and writing. I’m also feeling keen to engage with all the outdoor activities I love, hiking and biking and back country canoe camping. I’m also feeling the need to see more of the people I love, to engage more with the people I care about. I’ve had a few significant losses in recent years, two more in the past few months, and I’m struck anew by how short and precious life is. But then there’s also the big scary political world, getting scarier by the day as Trump talks of leaving the WHO, escalating the death penalty, taking over Canada, and forced mass deportation Add to that the rise of the right here in Canada and I’m having to fight very hard against the impulse to hide under my blankets. Instead I’m resolving to engage, to take a stand, to write letters, campaign door to door, to do something.
Tracy: Confidence
I went back and forth between “ease” and “confidence,” and settled on the latter because I want to let go of all the various little insecurities and areas where I’ve lacked confidence, and trust my own capacities. It’s time. In my work, I’m returning to the classroom after a couple of years away, with not one but two classes starting in January. You’d think that after 32 years of teaching anyone would just be filled to the brim with confidence. But that turns out not to be the case. However, with my WOTY this year, I’m going to stare that down from day one.
I also want to pursue my fitness activities with confidence. Instead of “I can’t do that,” I’m going to go in with the attitude that I can. I can lift heavy things. I can do push-ups and renegade rows. I can do unmodified chataranga in the yoga flow. I can do speed work, and tempo runs, and endurance runs, and easy runs. And I can factor actual rest into my fitness routines. And I am perfectly capable of maintaining a regular routine.
Then there is my photography. I have a lot to learn still, but I can also feel confident that I have a good eye and that I am capable of getting better.
Finally, I want to tackle my big move to Toronto with Diane, coming up this summer, with confidence. I’m already confident that it’s going to be amazing once we are there. So what’s the problem? Between now and settling into a new place in TO, we need to find the right place, sell our places, get rid of excess stuff, pack up the remaining stuff, and coordinate two moves. But we can do this! People do it all the time.
So this year, whenever that annoying voice in my head starts planting doubt, I am going to counter it with a confident rejoinder.
Elan: Consistency
Sloooooowwwww was my 2024 WoTY. For the first part of the year, especially when I was cycling, SLOW came to mind only when I wasn’t meeting my desired pace. But over the year SLOW shifted from an excuse or an apology to something I tried to embrace. The mindfulness exercises I did reggularly around lunch time using my Oura app also gave me permission to slow down.
Over the winter break I read about how avoidance and procrastination activates in our bodies a stress response that builds anxiety. In contrast, making a start (however slowly) reduces anxiety and builds our capacity to adapt and grow. My hope in 2025 is to continue to embrace slowness, and from that build more consistent habits, which I’ve found even more difficult than slowing down. So consistency will be my WoTY for 2025.
Catherine: Compass
Collective was my 2024 WOTY. Realizing that a lot of my happiness comes from being part of a collective, I engaged in lots of activities with my various groups– from the bloggers at Sam’s 60th birthday party to book club to traveling, cycling and swimming with friends and family. I feel lucky to be a part of a number of communities, and I spent more time being active and present.
2024 was also a year in which I (more or less) came to terms with the fact that I have limited time and energy and resources to devote to people, places and pursuits. This year, I’m focusing on physical health and strength, creativity (mainly through writing, but also some art/craft) and being with people I care about.
The destinations are clear, but I still need help in navigating there. So my WOTY for 2025 is Compass, to help me find my way to the people, places, and pursuits I value so much. Yes, I may take the scenic route sometime, and there will be detours. And traffic jams. But as long as I have something to guide me, I think 2025 has the potential to be a great year for journeys and destinations.
Nicole: Believin’
First of all, as is customary for me, I have forgotten what my word for 2024 was and I am not looking because I don’t want to look back. I want to look forward. Not wanting to reminisce, is not typical for me, but that’s how I feel right now.
The word I have chosen for 2025 is “Believin’”. A few years ago, on our first trip anywhere after the lock down of 2020 and most of 2021, my husband and I went to Vancouver and Victoria for a brief, very welcome, change of scenery. It was early summer. We were warned ahead of our arrival at the Granville Island Hotel, that there would be a party in the hotel on our first night there and it might be a bit noisy. At first, we were not thrilled, expecting it to be noisy in a stressful way. However, much to our delight, while we were cozy in our room around 11 pm, we were serenaded by the sound of a group of early teenage girls singing “Don’t Stop Believin” by Journey at the top of their lungs at the bat mitzvah taking place in the party room below. it was just the tonic our hardened, still pandemic-wearing souls needed in that moment. And, so, it occurs to me that my soul needs my word for 2025 to be “Believin”. Whether it’s toward my workouts, my family life or the world at large, I am going to try and summon the word, “Believin” – Believin’ in possibility, strength, moments of joy, gratitude and peace in all “this”.
Diane: Enjoy
I loved EXPLORE, my word for 2024 and I did quite a bit of exploring about myself, though not enough exploring in my surroundings. I’m tempted to keep it for another year but the areas where I fell down relate more to learning to relax and enjoy what is happening in the moment.
Realistically, relax is too…relaxing to suit me so I’m going to work on “enjoy” – enjoying my new job, my new grandson, my new cottage and the surrounding area, and doing physical and artistic things that give me joy with friends or on my own.
Amanda: Limits
My word of the year is Limits. As in recognizing, accepting and respecting my own limits. Not easy but important.
Cate: Pathways
My word is pathways. It’s the year I turn 60 and make some decisions about the directions I’d like to curve the rest of my life toward.
Amy: Initiate
I feel like my year started over the summer with a big birthday, so the mid-year/new-year brings a good opportunity for reflection and a fresh perspective. My WOTY is initiate – just get started and see what happens instead of holding off for fear of failure, not having enough time, perfectionism, etc. I don’t usually also add a motto but based on a birthday astrology reading I’m adding one this year: go big AND go home. Lastly, I’ve been on a colorful kick, trying to wear more colors and expand how I see color in my life. I’ve even purchased a hot pink planner for the year, where pink is formerly a no-go color for me.
Martha: Replenish
My word is replenish. Like the meme says, I’ve been driving full tilt with the engine light blinking and the gas tank on fumes. Time to rest, refocus and replenish literally and figuratively. Sixty five is on the horizon and time to think on my goals for the next decade and more.
So those are ours. What’s your word of the year for 2025? And why did you choose it?
Close-up of a hand grasping a freshly glazed donut oozing with icing, ready to satisfy a sweet tooth craving
A year ago today, I posted a blog here about the jarring effect of seeing a very thin Brie Larson, playing the lead role in Lessons in Chemistry, preparing food that she never seemed to eat. I was not alone in trying to puzzle through the strange effect that her appearance had in relation to the show’s rich stylization of food. FIFI stats tell me that at least 5489 readers clicked the link to open that post in 2024.
The nerve that the blog touched, perhaps, is the nerve hit, repeatedly, by the horrible lessons served every day to North American women for dinner and dessert. “You should be perfectly thin. If you are perfectly thin, we will adore and praise you.” But also, “You must not be imperfectly thin. If you are imperfectly thin, scaring us with intimations of death and disease, we will shame and shun you.” Putting food near the perfectly thin celebrity reminds us of what she eats, or maybe doesn’t eat, to look the way she does. We see the food, we see the body, and the red flags appear. The imperfectly thin body, we fear, serves as the star’s understudy. It’s like the optical illusion that has us looking at a duck—no, wait, a rabbit! The mind is not quite sure what it’s perceiving. Should we clap or hold the applause?
The trouble with making all of this explicit is that drawing attention to the problem may look like blaming the victim. I see the jutting collarbones and hear the rumours and turn away out of respect for the privacy of the woman whose life is so mercilessly mined for entertainment and exploitation. She may be naturally tiny or she may be suffering. It’s none of my business. Except it is, insofar as her body elicits a visceral response, reminding me of my own vexed relation to the story it tells, or doesn’t tell.
I started thinking about Brie Larson again because I’ve been thinking, lately, about elite women runners and the price they may pay to achieve their goals. Last year, I wished them all happy holiday eating in my post. But it’s becoming increasingly difficult, for me, to ignore the problem of disordered eating and running excellence. In some ways, it’s even harder to have this conversation than it is to talk about Hollywood celebrities. There might be a world in which actors could all gain weight and continue to play characters in movies, but could women marathoners carry any weight and still be competitive? And, if we want to respect both their professionalism and their boundaries, should we not simply agree that they are born lean, mean, running machines and move on? Only, reports concerning college women athletes suggest that it’s probably not just all good nutrition and good genes, all of the time. The idea that a decade after graduation, North American runners have grown out of whatever food-related issues they might have had as young women—well, I wonder. (A brave post by Kelowna runner Christy Lovig addresses this subject head on.)
Recently, I wrote here about a marathon that went sideways. One of the stranger thoughts I had, in the final excruciating hour of that race, was that donuts were to blame for my lack-lustre performance. In the cacophony of nasty voices that I had to listen to, one was louder than the rest: “Too many donuts.” To be clear, this was not a reflection on whether my nutrition plan might have failed me—that more protein and fewer simple carbs might have made for more muscle and less fat. No, this was a moral judgement: “You are a bad person because you eat donuts and now you are being punished for it.”
I feel lucky in not having had to struggle with disordered eating since brushing up against it as a teen. But like most women I know, I carry an internal critic quick to judge and shame my appearance and the appetite that has me relishing donuts whenever I can get my hands on a good one. Most of the time, I ignore her. But when I’m sad or vulnerable, there she is, observing that I want too much, whatever that “too much” might be—wanting to run a marathon or to eat a second piece of pie. I had better prove it’s all worth it–by running a BQ every time I take on the 26.2 distance, for instance–or make myself small.
So, this holiday season, I wish everyone enjoyment of their favourite festive food. But I also wish for honest conversation, at the family table, about the damaging lessons we learned as girls about appetite; about the casual comments made by friends and family that reinforce these lessons, decades later; about the runners, including me, who work to maintain the illusions of control and self-discipline that our culture values so highly, at such great cost.
Alison Conway lives and works in Kelowna, British Columbia, on the traditional and unceded territory of the Syilx Okanagan people.
