Month: April 2019

fitness

March exploits and April realities

catherine w11 Comments

March was a month chock full of possibilities for me. Trying out new activities with interesting movements was so much fun. I went to sleep with visions of new athleticism dancing in my head.

New things I tried:
50+ parkour
Aerial silks yoga
Cool agility conditioning in gym
Qigong
Weight lifting (actually started in Feb, but it’s still new)

April is now here, and reality has arrived with it. Here are some of the highlights:

Jumping down from barriers and landing hard hurts my right ankle (sprained 7 months ago). So does backflipping out of the aerial yoga hammock- you can land kind of hard if you’re not careful (which apparently I wasn’t).

Agility conditioning can be hard on my left knee if I’m not careful about form. Ditto for qigong. It is all slow deliberate movements, but hanging out in a partial squat means being careful about where my knees are. Double ditto for weight lifting. I’m working with a trainer who is also a physical therapist, so I’m in good hands. But, it’s clear I’ve got vulnerable body parts which need shepherding.

Sam has been writing about her knee and the sad news about sports and activities left behind or altered and upcoming changes to her body. My news is more mild, but definitely along similar lines.

For me, April reality means this:

Delay parkour until ankle is more recovered and strong
Consider not doing parkour at all
Ditch aerial yoga
Work on more strengthening of ankles and knees
Be nice to my body and don’t try to do everything
I’ve still got cycling, which is awesome
Yoga feels great too

This isn’t bad news. It’s real news. So let’s go, April. And we shall see what May reveals.

Hey readers— any news on the physical front lines? It’s nice to know we are not alone, and I’d love to hear from y’all.









The Half Marathon I’m Dreading
aging · competition · fit at mid-life · running · training

The Half Marathon I’m Dreading

Mina10 Comments

One month ago, I signed up for the Shape Half Marathon in New York on April 14. I haven’t run a regular road half-marathon in about a decade. I do still participate in the occasional trail running event, but some years ago I decided that I’d run enough road races. To compound my dread going in, I knew I wasn’t even going to be able to start training until March 14th(literally only 30 days before the race). Sure, I would be cross-country skiing for the weeks before then, so not out of shape, but certainly not in running form. I only signed up because a friend asked me to. The race is on her birthday, so … Before I could second guess myself, I registered.

Well, I’m remembering why I don’t do road races anymore. My head. My head. My head. I know I’ll be slower than my last half-marathon, yet I don’t want to know. I’m aging. I didn’t start running seriously until I was in my late 20s. It took me a while to find my strength. Which means that I had the good feeling of beating my younger self until I was well into my forties. Not so anymore.  A lot of days I don’t think anything of my generally slower pace. When I’m not training for a race, I’m able to think: How lucky am I to still be running? How good does it feel to travel on my own two legs? How strong am I? But these days, when I’m out for a training run, I think: Why am I so slow? Why am I so tired? Where’s my spring? Where’s my lightness? My zip? 

Pile of old wooden wall clocks, by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

The looming race screws with my sense of self-worth. My mind turns on me and I can’t access my gratitude. Sigh. There’s no joy in the training. Thank you, Sam, for pointing out earlier this week thatwe are not always going to have fun in our workouts. Though I want, as Tracy pointed out, to have some kid-like funwith my body. I am not having fun with this training. I’m having frustration and self-recrimination instead. 

Also, I did not ease into my training. I decided that with only a month to train, I’d start with a 14-mile run. You don’t need to tell me how ridiculous that was. Plus, I wore not just new running shoes, but a new kind of running shoe I’d not tried before. So smart. Turns out the new shoe style did something nasty to my calf, which has taken a full two weeks to almost heal. Two weeks during which I continued to run haphazardly, because how could I not do at least four 2-hour runs before the race? More like 2-hour lopsided slogs through a haze of discomfort. Last week I was only able to run once after my long run, because my body was in pain and exhausted. And I’m not even sure that my “long” run was actually a long distance, because I was in Illinois, running somewhere unfamiliar, and I don’t track distances. All I know is that I was running for more than 2 hours; who knows how far or not far. 

You get the picture. I’ve done a lot wrong to prepare for this race. I might have done better to rest for the full month and then run on the day in my old, familiar running shoes. Am I self-obstructing so I have an excuse (other than time and years) for a poor result? And by “poor” I just mean relative to my own past results.

I’m writing this with 10 days to go before the race. Here’s where I’m at: I know I can run 13.1 miles. That’s not the challenge. The real obstacle is my thinking. I’m competing with my younger self and that’s a losing battle. I need to make the mind shift. As one of the guided meditations I often listen to asks, “If I am not this body, who am I?” Or, I could just keep being disappointed in my physical self for the whole rest of my life (!). But that doesn’t seem like a wise choice. I know that how I think and what I think are choices. That’s step one. Step two is actually implementing that knowledge. 

So hard. Working on it! 

Anyone else slowing down? I’d love your thoughts and insights on how you’ve come to peace with the new normal.  

Sat with Nat · sleep

Nat gets cozy with her new CPAP

natalieh (she/her)13 Comments

Fitness friends I do love talking about health, wellness and fitness as they intersect in my life.

Last fall I had gone to my family doctor about my snoring. I was referred to a sleep clinic. Both at no cost to me as I am a resident in Ontario, Canada. Go public health care!

I didn’t have a great time at the sleep clinic. The setting, the wires digging into my scalp and the pressure of the sensors on my throat triggered a series of panic attacks and migraines. Ya. It sucked.

Natalie lies in bed with over 12 wires and sensors attached to her face, scalp and neck. There are two sensors up her nose. Her head is on a pillow and we can see the trail of wires going out of shot.

The downside of public health care is it took 4 months to get my results. Despite only sleeping for just over 2 hours there was enough data to diagnose me with sleep apnea.

I had hoped it would be more of a manage my allergies type of solution to help reduce swelling in my airway.

The doctor recommended Continuous Positive Airway Pressure (CPAP). I had a vague sense of what the machines were and was not prepared to take that on.

I asked about options. There’s a dental appliance that is more expensive and less effective. Surgery works in some cases 50% of the time. After a quick look at my nose and throat the specialist didn’t recommend surgery. Apparently the floppy throat bits they usually remove aren’t the ones causing my type of snoring. DAMNIT

The doctor outlined the dangers of sleep apnea both to help me understand why some intervention was required and to motivate me not to wait.

Friends, I have pretty serious sleep apnea, the kind that causes heart attacks in your fifties, and I was super upset. I was supposed to go into work after my appointment but ended up taking the day off and getting my CPAP.

The adjustment phase has been challenging. I’ve experienced every possible side effect from sinus infections, rashes on my face, condensation in the tube, swollen face, actually getting significantly less sleep. GAH!

Plus, the mask, is, well….not an invitation for spontaneous intimacy.

Natalie tried to smile with a five point harness that is holding a nose covering mask and a tube coming out of the middle.

I’m motivated to getting used to this therapy for my health. My partner is committed to learning more and helping me advocate for my health. He got me a Red Velvet Cake in celebration of taking a positive step for my health. Through the awesomeness of social media I have tapped into a deep well of peer support of friends who I never knew used CPAP.

I’m thinking back to how much mornings have truly sucked over the past decade and kicking myself for not seeking help sooner.

The sleep clinic doctor mentioned that the degree of sleep apnea I have is highly correlated to weight gain and type 2 diabetes. He explained that oxygen deprivation suppresses metabolic rates as well as reducing the energy you have to do the activities you love.

Headshot of Natalie looking very tired.
I get to be more tired before I get to feel rested.

So I’m committed to my health and I’m very fortunate that 75% of the cost of my machine is covered by my public health care. The remainder will be covered by my private insurance.

I had a twinge of ableist reaction to learning that sleep apnea is clustered under disability funding. I don’t feel disabled by my sleep apnea. I’m annoyed. I’m tired. I’m fortunate my daily activities weren’t drastically impacted.

The CPAP machine is a necessary assistive device in my life, like my night guard, my reading glasses, insoles and my blood pressure medication.

I’m hopeful that once I adjust to this change I’ll feel more rested and able to do more of the things I enjoy in life.

Currently I’m saving up to buy a portable power source so I can continue to enjoy off grid camping in the near future.

Tell me about your own CPAP adventures!

fitness

Zwift!

Sam B2 Comments

As regular readers know I’ve been riding indoors at the Bike Shed. David, Sarah, Ellen, Susan, and I are headed there tomorrow.

There’s three things that make this an especially nice way to stay in bike shape over the winter months.

Thing 1. You can ride with friends of all different speeds and fitness levels. There’s no waiting at the top of the hills or being waited for. Your avatars can ride with other cyclists virtually, while you ride in a shared physical space with friends. The virtual community aspect means that even for people like me who don’t like to exercise alone, there’s company.

Thing 2. It’s just a nice environment, better than my basement, and likely better than yours. It’s set up for riding all of the time. There’s no need to move things, find a fan, no worries about bike grease and rugs. The trainers are all in good working order. You show up with your bike and ride. or for an extra fee, keep your bike there and ride unlimited on a month by month basis.

Thing 3. Zwift! I’m surprised at how much I like it. I like the group riding aspect. I like drafting. I like the ‘close the gap’ reminders and I’m much more motivated by sprints against other virtual cyclists than I am sprinting as part of a training program. Of course, it tracks data and lets you know if you are improving, or not. And there are Strava segments.

Wish us a great ride!

charity · cycling · fitness

Join Sam in the 2019 Great Cycle Challenge to fight kids’ cancer

Sam B

We do a lot of charity riding and running around here. This year for me the big ones are the 1 day version of the Friends for Life Bike Rally (sponsor me here) and the Triadventure, Trying the tri-adventure in its last year… Join us!!!

What kind of event is the tri-adventure? “The TriAdventure is not a typical triathlon. Our activities are not timed, and there are no prizes for finishing first. Our participants challenge themselves with the physical activities involved in the event, but are also challenged to raise over $1,200 for 51 vulnerable children in Kasese, Uganda who have been left without family support through poverty, HIV/AIDS or violence. The reward is knowing that your effort helps fund a program that begins with food, shelter and education and aims to help these children become self-sustaining citizens who contribute to a vibrant, diverse global community.”

Sponsor us here.

When is the Tri-adventure? It’s August 16-18, 2019.

You can read more about it here, https://www.facebook.com/TriAdventurePage/

http://www.triforafrica.org/

And you can register here, https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/triadventure-2019-the-finale-tickets-37787495416

Those are both in August but in June I’ve also signed up for the Great Cycle Challenge to fight kids’ cancer.

It’s a virtual challenge. You ride on your own and set your own goals. I’m aiming to ride 500 km and raise $500. Join me? Sponsor me?

Great Cycle Challenge Canada
fitness

I’ll Open My Own Jar, Thanks

Susan Tarshis7 Comments

I don’t remember who it was but I think it was a client that I had years ago. We were talking about a break up of her marriage or relationship or something and she was telling me about her mom’s reaction. We had focused in on this one thing that seemed to distress her mom, or maybe it was just part of the argument for why she should try to keep her relationship. Her mom said, “Well, who is going to open jars for you?” As I remember it, the comment was matter of fact and so very out of context of the pain the person was feeling both in the relationship and because of the break up. However, it did seem self-evident to her mom that jar opening was a thing you wanted a man around to do.

There is a part of me that can imagine writing this piece from a place of grief after death of a partner and taking that phrase in that sense. I vividly remember my own mother’s grief after the death of my dad, encapsulated in the question, “Who will watch the snow fall with me?” This evocative moment speaks to connection, shared pleasure in company and its loss. The jar could be the same. I walk into the living room to find my loving partner and hand him this jar so he can do me this kindness, but he is not there and my heart breaks.

Except, that isn’t what that client’s mom meant. She meant that we need a man to help us with the hard and heavy and strenuous things and that we should put up with all manner of crap to keep that presence. Or alternatively, she thought so little of men that she only kept them around to open jars and clean the eaves in the fall. Either way, connection, pleasure in company, jars as symbols of love, this was not what was getting evoked.

I have been thinking about the jar issue as I adjust to being the only adult in my home that houses me, two pets and an occasional child. I am thinking about what it means to be self reliant and relying only on myself. Last week, I came home at 10pm after starting my day at 7am. It was garbage day the next day and my dog just refused to take the garbage out for me. The nerve. The cat was similarly uncooperative. I took it out myself. Laundry baskets that are full to the brim and well over 20 lbs must be carried upstairs. Snow was shovelled all winter. Bags of salt need to be emptied into the softener and cat litter needs to be moved from car to litter box. And yes, there were jars that I had to open. These were all things I used to defer to “someone stronger than I was”. It’s based on a rational division of labour, at least in theory. Yet I have come to think that I was doing myself a disservice by deferring even as much as I did. The dependence it can create, when we fear we can’t manage the heavy or hard things, can cloud judgement. It can stoke fear. The fear is that of being alone, lost and struggling, protectorless, perhaps vulnerable.

I’m not saying I’m not vulnerable. I’m just saying I’m strong. I’m strong enough to lug the garbage and the laundry and the salt and the cat litter. I have friends to lug motors to boats with me and honestly, I haven’t met a jar that ever beat me. It may take me a while, it may end up looking like the lid has been in a car accident, but it’s open.

Lasting companionship and connection is lovely. Lives don’t always work out that way. Opening our own jars gives us options and a certain clarity. I like that quite a bit. 💪🏻

  • This is an image of a fresh and luscious jar of strawberry jam that I opened all by myself


Book Reviews

Nat reviews Bikes Not Rockets: Intersectional Feminist Bicycle Science Fiction Stories

natalieh (she/her)8 Comments

This awesome collection of 11 short stories answers the question that has always bothered me in science fiction “Why aren’t there any bicycles?”

This is the 5th book in the series published by Microcosm Publishing edited by Elly Blue.

When the opportunity came up to review this book for our blog Sam knew I was the feminist sci-fi reading and writing cyclist who is always on the lookout for a great read.

In the introduction Elly Blue outlines why when we build worlds and tell tales that we must actively engage in intersectionality. If we don’t think about all the axis of identity and oppression then we risk perpetuating the “isms” of the world we live in into our imagined worlds.

I have had the opportunity to go to WisCon, a feminist science fiction convention, the past two years.

WisCon and Functional Fitness

WisCon41 all the feels about disability

It was a wonderful experience but I also learned how some of my favourite genre stories are filled with unexamined ableism, sexism and racism. If we can build any world we want when writing why not create ones that challenge these inequalities?

As a fledgling writer I’ve set aside my apocalypse novel after realizing it was a story about privileged white people patting themselves on the back for figuring out how to live in the apocalypse the way many people around the world live today. Ya. That was an icky realization. I can do better. We can do better!

Elly Blue clearly knows how to get there and has sought out writers who are witty, funny and craft tender, engaging stories with characters I can relate to who take up the challenges in their lives while riding bicycles.

Novel cover art depicting a woman riding a bicycle through space. She wears a helmet and her pants are tucked into her socks. With toe clips, saddle bags and an oner the handlebar bag she clearly has spent many parsecs in the saddle.

Would you like a chance to win a copy of this fantastic book?

Like or comment before my Saturday post goes up at 6am EST and I’ll put your name into the draw.

The book was funded on kickstarter:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/ellyblue/bikes-not-rockets-feminist-bicycle-science-fiction

And if you are looking for more great stories the buck the norms in engaging ways check out the full catalogue at microcosmpublishing.com

fitness · swimming · tbt · training

On Doing What Makes Us Feel Like Kids Again #tbt

Tracy I3 Comments

Yesterday Sam wrote a serious post about how most of her exercise these days is not fun. And she’s doing it anyway. I felt profound relief when she got to the part where she said she can still ride a bicycle (the thing that most makes her go “wheeee!”) and lift weights.

It made me reflect a bit on my own activities and how my definition of “fun” has changed from “fun” to “challenging with a bit of fun thrown in.” In honor of spring, I thought I’d repost something from my swimming days about doing these that make us feel like kids again. Lately for me that hasn’t been swimming (not fitting into my plans these days), but rather colouring books (the ones for adults) and photography (SO much fun). But even those don’t quite reach the fun level of the little swim sprint races I describe in this post.

Have you had any kid-like fun lately?

fitness

Top Ten Posts in March

Sam B
  1. Doin’ My Part to Keep the Gym a Safe Space for Men (Guest Post)
  2. Crotch shots, upskirts, sports reporting, and the objectification of female athletes’ bodies
  3. Cate discovers feminist crossfit
  4. Tracy enters the grey zone
  5. Can we have game misconducts for sexism?
  6. On being underestimated
  7. I’m 53 and a half and I’m still menstruating: is this a good thing?
  8. Lent isn’t a 40 day diet challenge
  9. CrossFit and women’s bodies: It’s complicated
  10. Sam’s very sad thing
Silver and purple flowers with green leaves.
Photo by Daria Volkova on Unsplash
fitness

Sam gets serious: Most of the exercise she does isn’t fun and that’s okay

Sam B6 Comments

I’m an expert level adult. I’ve been adulting, as the kids say these days, since I was 8. I was practically born an adult. I’ve lived most of my life as the practical one, the serious one, the organized one, and the one who can do hard things. I’m that person. You might call me in a crisis but I also worry that I’m not that much fun at parties.

Eldest child. Virgo. Child of immigrants. Former Catholic, taught by nuns. You choose your favourite explanation. All are true.

For years though exercise hasn’t been a hard thing. It’s been the fun in my otherwise pretty serious and focused life. I’ve treasured it for that reason. I can let go. Ride. Run. Hop. Skip. Jump. Lift. Throw. Climb. And so on. Whee! Zoom!

Sam selfie in the gym mirror, wearing my feminist t-shirt, leggings, and my knee brace

Life has changed a lot since we started this blog. I’ve had to say goodbye to soccer, promise never to run again, and take a break from Aikido. There’s been no CrossFit either. These days a lot of what I do for exercise isn’t fun. Hard, boring, painful physio isn’t fun. I’m having a hard time adjusting my attitude. Even walking isn’t always fun and I’m worried that my dog isn’t getting enough exercise. Sorry Cheddar! But also, I’m thankful for off leash dog parks where Cheddar can run even if I can’t.

Cheddar in bed

I shared Barbara Ellen’s piece in the Guardian Let’s stop pretending exercise is fun on our Facebook page and got more than 50 comments pretty much right away. It seems that hit a nerve. It hit my nerve. Just a few years ago I would have resisted the message. I still urge people to find physical movement that brings them joy.

But I understand now when people complain about the pitch to “find joy in movement” in a very embodied way that I didn’t before. I apologized for that message here. It’s kind of like “love your body.” It’s an imperative that can feel oppressive. Not only do I have to exercise, I have to enjoy it? Um, no. I’m in pain a lot of the time now and my mobility is limited when not on two wheels. I think I need a shift in how I think about exercise. It’s not always going to be fun. But that’s okay. It’s still important. And see above, I’m good with serious important things. I’m disciplined about doing the things that need doing. I’m the kind of person who files expense claims pretty much right away when I get home.

I can find other fun things–theatre, music, art, fiction, games–and not put pressure on exercise to be fun. I love my job. I love writing. I have to stop counting on walking and make time for things I can easily do–like swim and bike-when I travel. According to this article on life after full or partial knee replacement, that’s my future anyway.

Every month is bike month in Sam’s books.

I still like lots of physical activity. I’m happy lifting weights at the gym with Meg. I’m going to blog about that soon. She just was named personal trainer of the year at the University of Guelph fitness centre. I’m also really looking forward to the outdoor cycling season, to racing our family Snipe, and to some canoe camping trips in the deep woods and wilds. That tells me that I’m not quite as bad as the people for whom this blog post was written but I’m not far off: Hate exercise and just want the health benefits?

I’m also a happy, positive person by nature. I look out my window at work and there’s sun. It’s spring. And I’ve got some cool succulents. There’s lots of joy in life even if it won’t come from walking!