Tag: rest

ADHD · fitness · self care

How Much Productivity is Too Much?

Diane Harper1 Comment

I live with nagging anxiety that tells me I should be productive, because I tend to connect my self-worth to my productivity.

This can be great when I’m planning a huge family meal, or volunteering with a local organization. It’s not so great when I’m also trying to cook everything from scratch (at least some of which I grew myself), get in all the exercise I think I need, volunteer with too many organizations, sew and do other crafts, hold a part-time job, manage elder care, and maintain a house to the standards of a 1950s TV mom. Oh, and sleep!

I have always needed to keep busy, so this isn’t a totally new problem. However, it seems to have gotten worse since I retired. Is it because everyone (including me) assumes I have more time to volunteer because I no longer work full time? Is it because I am slowing down and more easily tired? Is it because I’m a bit of an idiot and don’t know enough to say no? I’m betting on the last one, though the first to are contributing factors.

Meme taken from a TikTok video. It appears to be an older woman moving around her living room.

I wonder how much pain contributes to lack of sleep, which means I spend way too much time at night thinking of things I haven’t finished, or adding to the list. Then trying to do those things, so I don’t do the stretching/strength training/sleeping I need to get better.

I also wonder how common this is. My social media is full of women who have been diagnosed with things like ADHD later in life. Or who are overwhelmed with family and other responsibilities.

A quick Google search of “older women responsibilities” turned up some really interesting research on the responsibilities part. Not so much on the ADHD side. That turns up mostly YouTube videos and sites I wouldn’t trust for solid peer-reviewed evidence.

Another meme, that appears to be from the same TikTok video. It shows a middle-aged woman in a white top and blue and white skirt or shorts in an immaculate living room.

A friend uses the “five things” technique to clean house when she is managing depression or feeling overwhelmed. She cleans or throws out five things, no matter how small. Some days, tossing a pencil stub counts as a thing. Other days deep cleaning an entire room is a thing. When you have done five things, you are under no obligation to do more.

I love this and occasionally use it to motivate myself for cleaning. More often, I use it as a way to limit what I take on for the day. Five things is enough. And I try to remember that if I stop at five things, I am enough.

fitness · planning · play · rest · self care

Self Care September

Christine HenneburyLeave a comment

I know, I know.

Thinking about self-care amidst the chaos of these times might feel a little ridiculous, somewhat of a distraction, a bit like you are gazing inward when you need to be looking outward.

And, yes, some people might take it to an extreme, focusing only on their own needs and buying a ton of unnecessary products in the name of self-care.

But most of us aren’t like that.

In fact, many of us could probably use a nudge to remind us to take care of ourselves.

After all, how are we supposed to do the important things we are here to do if we’re worn out, frazzled, and just churning through endless to do lists?

So, please let me remind you that it is ok – in fact, it is necessary!- for you take care of yourself, to be kind to yourself, to meet your needs, to rest, to connect, to get away from the push to be bigger, better, more. *

You can take care of yourself for your own sake – after all, literally no one benefits if you forgo self-care. It’s not as if you sacrificing a brief rest means that someone else automatically gets that time.**

And you can do it for the greater good. It will be hard to be part of the solution if you are too worn out to deal with the challenges we are facing – alone and together.

Yet, even when we KNOW that self-care is a good idea, it’s hard for us to take that time, to make that effort.

Luckily, Action for Happiness has a whole calendar of small steps that can help you take good care of yourself this September.

And hopefully it can help you build even stronger self-care habits from now on.

Here’s the calendar:

a calendar of self-care tips from Action for Happiness
Check out Action for Happiness for more versions of the calendar as well as links to other resources. Image description: a calendar of daily tips for self-care. Each calendar block is either light blue, medium blue, peach, or red and the edge of the calendar is decorated with cartoon drawings of people doing self-care activities like meditaton, exercise, speaking positively to themselves, etc.

And here are three self-care tips from Action for Happiness in a video presented by Vanessa King.

A video from the Action for Happiness YouTube channel. The still image shows Vanessa King, a woman with her dark blonde hair pinned up in the back but with sideswept bangs in front, she is slightly smiling, and is wearing a red and white patterned shirt.

So, whaddaya think? Want to give Self-Care September a whirl?

*Ideally, you would have other people supporting you in this/taking good care of you but this post is about ‘Self-Care September’ not ‘Mutual Support May’ or something. Note: Mutual Support May should totally be a thing.

**Yes, I know there are exceptions to this. For example, if you pull a longer shift caring for your sick baby, your partner can have more time to sleep but that’s a short term benefit. It won’t actually be helpful in the long run if you end up getting sick because you are overtired or if you become so resentful that it creates friction in your relationship. Ultimately it would be better for you and your partner to alternate break times so everyone can take good care of themselves and each other.

rest · Sat with Nat · self care · strength training

Nat ditches the bike in favour of weights, walks & waterfalls

natalieh (she/her)1 Comment

I’m waking up this morning in Gananoque (ga-nan-KNOCK-way) in a four post bed. It’s ostentatious. It’s the exact opposite of every stay Michel and I have ever booked on our way home to New Brunswick.

The 1,000 Islands Bed & Breakfast was a Michel find. He convinced me that on the return trip we always drive through. We can afford the nicer stop on the way down.

A claw foot tub stands under a chandelier. It looks swanky.

Our vacation is one week. We will drive over 3,000 km by September 1. We know it is a lot but flying is expensive and doesn’t get us close to where our families live.

Last week we were gathering gear, cleaning bikes and planning cycling routes. Then Michel looked at me and said “What if we left the bikes behind?”

Huh.

What if we left the bikes behind?

We had both assumed cycling had to be the center of our activities over our vacation.

Huh.

Then we talked through what we enjoyed the most from vacations over the past couple years. Time together. Traveling light. Being spontaneous.

It then became clear, less stuff, less structure, more fucking chill. Like. Way more chill. Still more. Almost chill enough. There it is. Very. Fucking. Chill.

We need sleep and rest and recovery.

So we are tucking some dumbbells in the trunk.

A triangular metal weight rack has 5 pairs of dumbells. The lightest is 3 lbs, the heaviest 20 lbs.

We can keep our Peloton strength training going. It’s an app and I often just work out in my underwear. Super classy! Also very chill.

The rest of the week, when driving, we are looking for waterfalls that are short walks. It served us great in Iceland last year. We’d whisper “foss” (Icelandic for “falls”) and point. It was silly and wonderful. We need more of both.

Michel poses in front of Schribner Brook Falls in 2021. Lucy the dog is having a drink.

Four years ago we made it our mission to hike all the trails near McAdam NB. The shortest one was Schribner Brook Falls. It was a pullover and park with a, maybe five minute walk? It was a magical little stop.

So the cycling stuff is in London and that feels like a good choice this week.

So here is to a week of weights, walks and waterfalls with a giant serving of chill.

Gathering myself in
ADHD · fitness · mindfulness · rest · self care

Gathering myself in

Christine Hennebury

On Monday, I started the second half of my Storytelling tour with my friend Catherine and our first day went really well.

But you know what else?

It was really tiring.

The kids were great and the teacher was great and the school was great, but there was a lot of energy going in all sorts of different directions today – just the nature of a busy school day – and it made it a little bit challenging for my slightly-sleepy ADHD brain to focus on my stories and on the work I was trying to do.

So, I had to use a lot of energy to concentrate and stay on task and, at the end of the day, I felt a bit jangled. Kind of scattered. A little bit at loose ends.

I know from previous experience that when I feel that way, it’s all too easy to lose the rest of the day to kind of aimlessly wandering from task to task in search of ways to settle my brain.

On Monday, though, I refused to lose my evening to that feeling. Instead, I decided to take action to find equilibrium, to gather my energy back to me.

I started with a good chat with Catherine about the interesting parts of the day and the things we especially enjoyed.

Then, while Catherine was out for a walk, I did some journalling and had some tea.

My journal, a pen, and a mug of tea on a table
A photo of my journal, a patterned, pink, soft-covered notebook, with a teal and silver pen on top. Above the notebook is a mug of tea, the mug has a moose and the word Canada on it.

I followed that with meditation and deep breathing before heading out on my own solo walk (around Port Union, NL, in case you’re wondering)

A photo of a river in early spring
Photo of a river with a grassy incline in the foreground, a few large rocks in the water, and a rocky, shrubby incline on the other side.
A photo of the trunks of two birch trees
A photo of two birch trees growing close together, the trees don’t have leaves yet and the trunks have interesting patterns in the bark.
A photo of a small harbour
A photo of a small harbour with scrubby grass in the foreground and rocks outlining the water

And when I got back from my amble, I lay on the floor for a while in a restorative ‘legs up the wall’ yoga pose.

A photo of my legs resting against a pillar
A photo, taken from my perspective as I lie on the floor, of my jean-covered legs resting against a pillar in our rental unit as I do legs up the wall pose.

It all helped and I feel much more at ease.

And, sure, I may have felt better with just one or two of these things but I was enjoying the process so I decided to roll with it.

Do you know that scattered feeling I am referring to?

What process do you use to gather yourself in?

Christine’s April Plans
fitness · habits · health · mindfulness · motivation · self care

Christine’s April Plans

Christine Hennebury

I’m starting April while on a school storytelling tour with my friend Catherine (not blogger Catherine, a whole other marvellous Catherine) so the month is truly off to a good start.

Storytelling is great for my mental health and the fact that I am taking a break from my usual routine AND hanging out with a dear friend compounds the positive effects.

And this tour has been good for my physical health too because Catherine is a big proponent of finding energy by getting outdoors. So there have already been several times when her choice to go for a walk has shifted me into a more active rest mode after a busy day instead of just sitting around.

(To be clear, there are times when sitting around would be the right thing to do but in this case the walk felt waaaaaaaay better.)

Since the month is starting on such a positive note I have decided to add more positive health elements.

1. I found out yesterday that April is Afternoon Tea Month which is definitely a made-up kind of commemoration but as an avid maker-up-of-things, I’m here for it.

I’m going to celebrate by taking an afternoon tea break every day.

I can hear my sisters’ voices as I write that, “Chris, don’t you already drink tea every afternoon?”

And the answer is “Of course I do!”

But my April plan to to focus on the ritual of it, the making of the tea, the clearing of mental space, the sitting down to drink it.

This isn’t going to be a ‘drink tea at my desk while working’ kind of thing, it’s going to be an actual break in my afternoon.

A cup of tea in an octopus mug
One of my favourite cups for tea (a gift from my friend Mary) Image description: a cup of tea sitting on a small mat on my table with my ebook slightly out of focus in the background. My cup has a blue octopus on the side (only part of it is visible) and it has an ice cream cone held in one of its tentacles.

So that’s a small April addition for my mental health, now on to my physical health.

2) I mentioned last week that I am following the Active April calendar so that is staying part of the plan but I am also going to really commit to evening yoga (again!) and I have made a YouTube playlist to choose from each day.

And since I know sometimes get stuck in the decision making process, I am giving myself the default that if I can’t pick one, I have to choose the video immediately after the one from the night before.

I have often done evening yoga before and I throughly enjoy it when I do but I have gotten out of the habit so this is as good a time as any to get started again.

What are *your* plans for April?

health · holiday fitness · meditation · mindfulness · yoga

Making Space 2024: December 1

Christine Hennebury

Hey Team,

It’s December 1st and we’re back with the another edition of Making Space, a series of (mostly) short posts designed to encourage you to make a little space for yourself this month.

No matter what you celebrate (or don’t celebrate!), December is one of those months of ambient stress and busy-ness. There are so many posts and articles full of lists and ideas about how to do more, more, more, and so much discussion of finishing things before the end of the year, or getting ‘the most’ out of the rest of 2024, that it is enough to make your head spin.

Now, I am NOT pretending that you aren’t busy.

And I am not going to be doing any vaguely condescending posts about how if you *just* change your attitude then all the hecticness will just melt away.

Instead, I am going to acknowledge that we all have a lot going on at this point in the year AND I am going to invite you to make a little space for yourself in your days.

Each day, I will post a short exercise/physical activity video and a short meditation/mindfulness video that you can do if you WANT to.

If the videos I post don’t appeal to you, I hope that you will still create some space for yourself and pick something *YOU* like to do.

(Taking a nap, texting a friend, drinking a very slow cup of tea, lying on the floor staring at the ceiling – those all count as making space.)

Giving yourself that space is worthwhile and important, even if you have to ditch something else from your to do list.

So, with all of that said, let’s start on the right foot (ha!) with this short video ‘Foot Stretch for Healthy Feet‘ from Yoga with Bird.

A YouTube video of foot yoga – the still image shows a woman sitting on a yoga mat with her legs crossed and she is massaging her left foot with both hands.

And here’s 1 minute of drawing meditation/mindfulness from Tamara Michael. If you don’t have a pen and paper handy, you could draw with your finger or just breath in and out along with her drawing.

A YouTube video of a drawing meditation that shows a person’s hands drawing lines and dots on a white coil-bound sketchpad. They draw a squiggly line downward for breathing in and a series of dots next to that line for breathing out.

I hope you are able to make the space you need in your day.

Wishing you ease today and always. 💚

A close-up photo of a dog against a white background National ‘Just Because’ Day
celebration · fitness · fun · self care

National ‘Just Because’ Day

Christine Hennebury

Apparently, today is National ‘Just Because’ Day so this is your official permission to do something you’ve been waiting for a good excuse to do.

For example, for my own amusement, I can post this picture of my nephew’s Guinea pig, Powder, in full drama mode.

A black and white Guinea pig looks through the bars of her cage.
Image description: my nephew’s white and black Guinea pig looking through the squares on the side of his cage. Powder has his front paws on a ledge and he is looking slightly to the side. His long hair is flipped back over his head so his large black eyes seem to be emphasized and he looks oddly dramatic and glamorous.

Maybe you can use today as a reason to eat your lunch outside.

Or as a reason to text a friend to join you for a walk/for a new class/for an afternoon on the beach.

Perhaps it’s an excuse for extra rest. (Not that *need* an excuse but it can sure as hell feel that way sometimes.)

Maybe you can spend extra time reading.

Perhaps you can challenge someone to a race or to a dance-off.

Maybe you can try a new-to-you meal or play your favourite music or watch a movie you love.

Or you could spend extra time playing with your dog (technically National Dog Day was yesterday but let’s be realistic here, every day is National Dog Day!)

You could say you’re going to meditate ‘just because.’

You could journal or draw ‘just because.’

Two monster drawings on index cards taped to a red box
On Saturday, my friend Mary and I represented our community arts organization and hosted a table at a local art crawl held by an artist-run gallery. A lot of people took us up on the invitation to try squiggle art…just because! Image description: two monster drawings on index cards taped to the side of a red box that contains markers. The box is sitting on a purple tablecloth in the sun.

Whatever you decide to do on Just Because Day, I hope you have a grand time with it.

Because you deserve some ease and some rest and to have the joy of moving your body and you deserve to enjoy a challenge and you deserve good things.

Why do you deserve those things?

Say it with me…

JUST BECAUSE!

💚💚💚

What Christine’s Sunday looked like…
ADHD · fitness · rest

What Christine’s Sunday looked like…

Christine Hennebury1 Comment

Because time can be a messy concept for me, I sometimes end up with a weird jumble of tasks to do on my weekend – loose bits and pieces from all kinds of projects, stuff that needs to be done around the house…you know the kind of stuff I mean.

This Sunday, though, I was determined that I wasn’t going to let that jumble take over my day.

Instead, I alternated between relaxing and puttering my way through my list for the day.

A photo my legs and feet while I lie in the hammock
Checking off ‘Read in hammock’ on my to-do list. image description: a photo I took of my POV while lying in the hammock. As the photo shows, I could see a corner of my ereader on my lap, my legs in green capri pants crossed at the ankles, my feet in sandals, part of the hammock, and in the background is my circular swing, trees, my backyard and my patio.

In order to get enough relaxing in, I actually put the following items on my list for the day;

  1. Read in hammock
  2. Read in chair on deck
  3. Read in chair under tree
  4. Stare at tree while lying in hammock

Is it a bit weird to put those things on a to-do list?

Maybe.

But I also know that if I don’t put stuff like that on my list, my brain won’t rest while I try to relax.

Instead, it will churn up all the things I *should* be doing and my rest will be ruined.

So if I put fun, relaxing things on my list, my brain is satisfied that my list isn’t being ignored and it lets me read, and putter, and enjoy a slow day.

(By the way, this isn’t about my brain insisting that I have to be productive. My brain just worries that I will forget about my tasks and end up having to scramble later. I guess it’s trying to protect me even as it gets on my nerves?)

Can you just choose rest?

Or do you have to coax your brain into the process like I do?

A selfie of me and my dog, she is standing next to me while I lie in the hammock
Here I am listening to a secret from Khalee. It must have been VERY serious business – I forgot to smirk. Image description: a selfie taken while I was lying in the hammock but only my head and part of my right arm are in the frame. Khalee, my light brown dog, is poking her snout up over the edge of the hammock and it looks like she is whispering in my ear.

intuitive eating · rest

Rest and Intuitive Eating

Diane Harper

Various bloggers have written about intuitive eating in the past, and the concept has been floating around in my brain ever since.

Another concept that has intrigued is the idea that lack of sleep can affect the production of appetite-regulating hormones. Google it for yourself. I’m not going to share links, not even those from reputable websites.

My normal eating pattern when I worked full time was a hearty breakfast, a mid-morning snack with some protein, a solid lunch, and then dinner. I ate healthy foods and didn’t have a lot of sweets, but I definitely made sure I wouldn’t go hungry should lunch or dinner be delayed due to work commitments (which they often were).

Lately I have been thinking a lot about how these two things might go together because my sleep patterns have been horrible. Then every once in a while I have a long night of amazing sleep.

I have noticed that when I have a great sleep, I don’t usually wake up hungry. Sometimes I am content with little snacks through the day; other times I have only a couple of meals.

I’m not a fully intuitive eater yet, but the habit is starting to build, at least on the days when I am sufficiently rested.

Now I need to start working on some sleep hygiene: get myself into bed on time, do my Duolingo earlier in the day, and read physical books or magazines instead of a screen. Wish me luck!

A woman with dark hair sleeps while surrounded by fresh fruits and veggies. Image from https://www.telegraph.co.uk
fitness · new year's resolutions · rest

Rest

Diane Harper1 Comment

Back when I was in sixth grade, I had a babysitting job one weekend but started to feel sick so I called my mom. She took over from me while I went home and slept – for over 24 hours. Turns out I wasn’t sick at all, just exhausted. It happened every few years after that for my entire adult life. Did I learn from this? No, I did not.

But maybe I’m finally starting to absorb the lessons.

Last weekend I went camping with friends and barely left our little area. I washed lots of dishes and helped with meals, but mostly I sat around the fire and puttered while talking to people I love spending time with. I came home feeling mentally refreshed and not too physically tired.

This week, I’m ordering a “cottage”, more of a pre-fab shed for my lakeside property. I have owned the land for many years but didn’t go there at all for the first 15 because it was too much effort. More recently, I got myself set up so most of my camping gear stays there and I have a tent already up.

There’s still a fair bit of work involved in final set-up and take-down each visit, plus the worry about who will care for my cats while I’m away. Hence the cottage, where I can unlock the door and have a bed ready to go, and the cats can come with me.

In between those two events, I spent a weekend reading books and magazines, skipping a swim, not riding my bike, and reaching a level of rest that I actually felt the desire to do some house cleaning, a job I loathe (but I do it, to be clear).

Why don’t I do this more often? I have no idea. Work has been a giant constraint, especially as I pushed myself to be a physically active role model for my two kids. Plus I needed the intellectual stimulation of my hobbies.

I suspect I fell into the whole supermom fallacy, wanting to believe that I could have a fulfilling career, raise perfect kids, have a beautiful home, and look fabulous while doing it all. That belief started back in elementary school, when I was anxious to make friends and excel at all the things, while changing schools every couple of years.

Even in retirement, it’s hard to let go of all the activities. I track everything: workouts, chores, craft and research projects, blog posts written, recipes tried.

I have a goal of reading 52 magazines and 12 books this year. I’m well behind schedule, but my pile of back issues is starting to look a little more manageable after last weekend.

But genuinely taking a day off to do nothing in particular, and not worrying about whether I’m ticking off some box on a mental checklist? That is going to take a little more effort. Or less effort? I’m not sure how to describe working at doing nothing. All I know is that I need to work on building rest into my routine

I am amused by this image promoting rest and relaxation, from the Asian American Organizing Project. They sound as conflicted as me about how to rest.