Tag: covid-19

On The Complications Of Resting
ADHD · advice · covid19 · fitness

On The Complications Of Resting

Christine Hennebury2 Comments

TL/DR: Resting when you are sick is a good thing but it is very complicated when many of your roles are responsive rather clearly defined. It would be helpful if people acknowledged how complicated it can be instead of just telling a sick person to rest.

Truth be told, I had a pretty good run of luck but, alas, all good things must end and last week, despite my various precautions, I came down with Covid.

A woman in a mask is lying on her side in bed
Here I am in my full Covid glamour. This was before anyone else in my house was sick so I was self-isolating and masking even though I was alone in my room. My oldest son was at his grandparents so I sent him this ‘proof-of-life’ photo because he was worried about me. Image description: a selfie of me lying on my side in bed wearing an N95 mask. My face is puffy and I look ill. I’m wearing a grey fleece hoodie. On the nights as behind me you can see my lamp, medications, and my new tea cup that my friend Paula made. It has Cold911 tea in but you can’t tell that from the photo.

(And, subsequently, despite our in-house precautions, so did my whole family. Thankfully, none of us took any scary turns for the worse and we are all improving slowly but it was overwhelming and difficult and worrisome.)

So, I guess that means that my resistance to (and reluctance about) going out last Monday was probably part and parcel of having a virus attacking my system, not just a case of garden-variety I-don’t-wanna.

Now, I know that the key to recovery from any illness is rest and that that goes quadruple for Covid. The internet is full of advice about just how much and how long you should rest during and immediately after a bout with the virus.

But, frankly, it feels a bit like when I was a new mother and I was told to ‘sleep when the baby sleeps.’

Just like back then, the advice is good and so are the intentions, but…

HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO PULL THAT OFF?

Who is coming to step into my (metaphorical) shoes?

I‘m pretty good at the physical aspect of resting. I can take to my bed like a Victorian lady, surrounded by tea, snacks, books, and tissues.

However, even in the midst of all kinds of practical and moral support, it is damn hard to step back from the mental work of the things I do day-to-day. So my bedside accoutrements also include my phone and a notebook and some lists so I can deal with the things that are too complicated to hand off to someone else.

I am definitely not trying to claim that I am indispensable or any other nonsense like that but I am *used* to the things I have to do on a regular basis. I have practice. I am well-trained for my roles.

I’d need to be able to download the entire contextual net of my thoughts to be able to hand this off easily.

Now, to be clear, my paid work as a writer/coach/storyteller can largely be rescheduled. However, my family and volunteer roles, those can’t be handled the same way.

And a lot of that work can’t wait. I can’t, for example, put off groceries until I feel better. Normally, I would just go once a week or so and pick up the usual stuff and while I cook most of the time, any of us are capable of cooking.

But, I can’t just drop that task. We have to eat, even if we’re sick.

And since our existing system hinges on how my brain works, I have to be involved in the process of reassigning those tasks. Even if I am not going to be the one going to the grocery store, even if I am not going to be the one generating the list, I’m going to be consulted on the details. And since the default system (me going to the supermarket) won’t be happening, we need to figure out who is going to go and when they can go, and so on. Instead of an automatic system, it has become a series of plans and decisions.

That’s just one small part the various details I generally handle for my family.

For my volunteer work, often a lot of things can wait, but my work last week was related to upcoming public events that cannot be rescheduled. Yes, I have a team but I’ve been the person putting all the pieces together to make the big picture and it’s a bit late in the process to plop someone else into that role.

And I know some people reading are probably thinking things like: “Well, if you delegated the work in the first place…If you didn’t gatekeep…If you didn’t try doing everything yourself…If you trusted other people to do their work…If you insisted that other people take responsibility for things at home…”

I get why you might think all of those things. It’s a natural response to wonder if I have had a hand in creating this problem.

However, this isn’t about me trying to be a martyr and it’s definitely not about me gatekeeping or not holding other people responsible to do their part. It’s way more complex than that.

It’s about the roles I have ended up taking on in my life – by choice, by default, by societal expectation. It’s about a series of things going slightly awry and things coming to a time crunch. And it’s about someone with ADHD just doing the best she can most of the time and then not necessarily being able to ‘show her work’ so someone can take things to the next step.

Because of my ADHD, I struggle with creating systems. I have trouble seeing the bits and pieces of a project. I appreciate when I can delegate things but I’m not always conscious of the steps involved in my work until I am in the middle of them so it’s a bit hard to help someone else know what to do.

In fact, I often say that it is only when I am working on step one of a project that step two will float up out of the fog and reveal itself. It’s like one of those adventure movies or video games where the heroine has to be brave enough to step toward the chasm in order for the first part of the floating platform to appear.

So, as a result, way too much of any project I am involved in is in my head. I am working on documenting more of my routine activities but since that is exactly the kind of work my brain hates the most and since I don’t have someone willing to follow me around and take notes, it will take a while to make that happen.

So, while I am not a Type A person and I am not obsessed with work, when I am resting I have extra trouble giving away the tasks I usually take on.

Don’t get me wrong, I would happily hand them off. I don’t even need them to be done ‘my’ way. I’m just not sure what tasks I usually do nor am I necessarily sure what needs to be done next.

And even when I do know what to do next, I find that the coordinating tasks that usually fall to me take a lot of work to pass along to someone else. In fact, it is less stressful to do the thing than it is to to figure out how to share the information that I am waiting on a call from person A and if they say yes then tasks 1, 2, 3 need to happen but if they say now, then task 1 can happen but we need to call person B for task 2, and skip task 3, and do 3B instead.

(Meanwhile, if I do continue with a few tasks, I give the impression that I’m not all that sick or that it is business as usual, and then more work comes my way but that’s a whole other thing.)

Even if I were to try to explain that collection of tasks and what-ifs to someone who has offered to help, it’s likely that they would get completely overwhelmed because it is too much all at once. And since they couldn’t possibly pick up a month’s worth of details in a single conversation, I would end up with umpteen texts and emails to confirm bits and pieces of information.

So, instead of having one set of tasks to do in bits and pieces as I felt able, planning for the kind of complete complete rest that we’re advised to do would actually involve multiple levels of new tasks.

I would essentially be choosing between 1) doing the tasks as they showed up for me or 2) a) struggling to identify the tasks I unconsciously do for a given project b) connecting them to their relevant information in my head and typing that out somewhere c) putting both of that in some sort of timeline d) figuring out who the best person is to take the next steps e) hoping it isn’t too much to ask f) responding to the person’s (completely justified) questions at random intervals.

Which sounds more like rest to you?

A light haired dog standing in a kitchen looking directly at the camera.
Speaking of being helpful, here’s a photo of Khalee who is closely supervising me as I eat a banana. She has indicated that if I need to rest, she can finish this task for me. Image description: Khalee, my light haired dog, stands next to our kitchen bench staring intently at the camera.

In the end, I’ve been doing a hybrid sort of thing.

I typed out as many things as I could think of that needed to be done and added any context that occurred to me.

I farmed out any urgent things to people who had capacity to handle them (and, to be clear, I had lots of offers of help and support and I took people up on them as often as was feasible.)

I did (and continue to do) any things that I could manage, whenever I felt up to doing them.

And, annoyingly, I’ve dealt with some of the same sort of pushback I had when I was a new mom who couldn’t rest when the baby rested because it was my only chance to get something to eat, to put in a load of laundry, or to pick up the things that were cluttering the room and making me feel overwhelmed.

I’m not ignoring good advice.

I’m not pretending that the world can’t get along without me.

I’m not refusing to let other people help.

I’m trying to recover from an illness while I balance my needs against my responsibilities.

And while I could, in the long run, develop systems to make the delegate process easier, for right now, I am doing the best I can with the resources I have and getting grief for that just makes things harder.

So, can I ask you a favour?

If you are advising someone to rest, could you be respectful about it?

Maybe say things like ‘Are you getting enough rest?’ or ‘Is there anything I can take on that would help you to rest?’ instead of ‘The world can get by without you for a few days.’ or ‘You’ll never get better if you don’t rest.’

It’s all well and good to tell people to rest so they can recover but the process way more complicated than them just switching off their lives and heading to bed.

Let’s not pretend otherwise.

PS – I am deeply grateful for all the help and all the offers of help we have received this week. My friends and family have made things a lot easier and I have been well taken care of.

fitness · Guest Post · swimming

Being Underestimated by the Lifeguards (Guest Post)

Sam B

by Mallory Brennan

Over the summer, I started lane swimming as one of the few socially acceptable fitness activities. Our outdoor pools were open with restrictions and it was almost impossible to book a lane. But once you did, it was fantastic! One swimmer per lane, booked in advance so you could schedule your time, masks worn in the changerooms and the pools themselves were outside!

Once September hit, I moved to the indoor pools. Now, I’m not going to say indoor lane swimming is risk-free since nothing is these days BUT I will say, for me personally, it is within an acceptable level of risk. One person per lane, pre-booked time slots, minimized time spent in changerooms and masks worn everywhere except in the pool itself. In addition, the gym I’ve been attending has two sets of changerooms and has dedicated one of the them ONLY to swimmers with specific lockers set aside all very distanced from each other. Once you get onto the pool deck, each swimmer has their own space on the bench marked off for you stuff and the lifeguards are diligent in reminding you to wear your mask until you are about to enter the water.

One of my favourite exercises when swimming is to tread water with a brick. For those of you who don’t know, lifeguards often train using a brick to create additional weight. These bricks come in either 5lbs, 10lbs or 20lbs and treading water with a 20-lb brick is equivalent to carrying a 200-lb person. This is the standard that all lifeguards (in Canada) must be able to meet.

These bricks are kept in the lifeguard office and you must ask politely to borrow them. Most lifeguards are slightly flummoxed by this request since most people don’t know they exist let alone want to use them for exercise! When I first started swimming at this gym, I had to explain myself and the lifeguard had to check with her supervisor before I was allowed to use the brick as they don’t normally let people use them due to risk of injury. Now it’s not an issue and so far, it’s been the same lifeguard on duty who remembers me.

This morning, it was different lifeguards on duty and when I asked, they were clearly flummoxed by this request. The following conversation took place:

  • “I’m not sure if you can use the bricks, I’d have to check with my supervisor and she’s not here right now”
  • “I was here earlier this week and the lifeguard on duty checked with your manager, it wasn’t an issue.”
  • “Okay”. (Goes to guard office and audibly asks the other guard to pass out the 5-lb or 10-lb brick).
  • “Actually, I was using the 20-lb yellow brick last time. Can I use that one today?”
  • “That one’s only for lifeguards, I’m not sure we are allowed to give it out to people”
  • Other lifeguard comes out and looks at me: “Are you a lifeguard?”.
  • “Yes although my NLS expired over the summer”
  • “Just give it to her”

And I got the heavy brick! I will admit, there was moment of pleasure watching the initial lifeguards face as I cheerfully started my exercises with the 20-lb brick. Following 15 minutes of drills with the brick, my legs feeling rubbery I exited the pool area and went on about my day.

Bricks

Mallory is human, currently doing graduate study in Community Music. She loves traveling and spending time outdoors and prefers not to wear shoes when possible.

camping · Guest Post

Escaping the Pandemic by Camping! (Guest Post)

Sam B

by Mallory Brennan

Over the past few months, I have spent a significant amount of time online. This summer I was involved in the creation and implementation of a virtual summer camp for 2SLGBTQ+ teens (for more information visit www.rainbowcamp.ca!) and this fall I started a new program at university which is being held entirely online. In between that, I’ve had virtual choir practices, book clubs, birthday parties, workshops, etc. So lots of time spent online and when I realized that my university had a fall reading week, I jumped on the opportunity to escape the virtual world for a few days!

I spent three days backpacking along the Bruce Trail near Tobermory the week after (Canadian) Thanksgiving. I’ve done this trail several times in different seasons and there’s something special about being there in the fall. The leaves are changing colours and the scenery is stunning. There are significantly less people, especially once you leave the areas near the car parks. It is cold at night but during the day it warms up enough that I was hiking in shorts each day.

There’s also something special about camping solo. I’ve done quite a few trips by myself including several of New Zealand’s Great Walks. It can be refreshing to spend time by yourself, especially when you disconnect totally from all technology. On this trip, the only piece of technology I brought was my e-reader which had both school reading and fiction on it!

I recognize that being able to escape for three days comes from a place of tremendous privilege. I can disconnect and not answer my phone/email for a few days. I own all the right lightweight camping gear. I have the experience to be comfortable camping by myself. I can financially afford to book campsites and pay for parking in a National Park (which is very affordable but still). I have a car so I can drive myself to the trail.

So this year for Thanksgiving, I am grateful for all of this privilege and for the chance to escape and spend three days disconnecting and resetting from technology. It was just what I needed before returning the digital world.

Mallory is human, currently doing graduate study in Community Music. She loves traveling and spending time outdoors and prefers not to wear shoes when possible

fall · fitness · season transitions · Seasonal sadness

Getting some light in my life

Sam B5 Comments

Usually at this point in the year I start complaining about seasonal dark, associated mood disorders, and the practical challenge of bike commuting and needing headlights, reflective gear etc.

See Struggling with September Sadness and The night is (soon to be) dark and full of terrors.

Occasionally over the years I’ve managed some good feelings about the dark and about September which brings more of it into my life. See I like it in the dark: Winter and the joys of night time riding and running and Sam is Telling New Stories. But mostly they’re bad news blog posts.

This year I’m working from home. The challenges are different. I can see that it might be dangerous to work all day and only think about leaving the house in the dark.

I’m going to try to make sure I leave the house during the day to get outside in the daylight even if I don’t have anywhere particular to go. Cheddar doesn’t care about goals. He’s just happy to walk. Or run!

Cheddar running across the grass

As a back up plan, I’m also bringing my anti-SAD lamp home from work. It’s not needed there now I am only in my office on Wednesdays. I’m also reading about how people who cope with much more dark than we do get by and even seem to enjoy it.

Northern Light Technologies Luxor Desk Lamp | UPC: 870681000084

As we enter the double whammy of fall dark and the second wave of COVID-19 and associated shut-downs, what are you doing to keep some light in your life?

yoga

Zoom. Stretch. Zoom

Sam B

University classes here don’t begin until mid-September but south of the border friends are already teaching their first classes, most of them online, or in “remote alternative delivery mode” as we like to say during the pandemic. That’s to distinguish them from courses that have been designed as online courses.

We’re all just getting used to it. Everything is new. For professors and students alike. It’s not what we want. We mostly want to be teaching face to face in a world without a pandemic. But this is what we have and we’re all doing our best.

A friend taught her first class and spotted a student doing sit ups during the class. Oops! A clear breach of Zoom etiquette not to turn off the camera first.

Really, the student was just following the advice of the New York Times, Sneak in Some Exercise: “When you can’t slip outside for a walking meeting, turn off the video and sneak in a short desk workout or stretch session.” Well, except she forgot the ‘turn off your camera” bit.

If I were to turn off my camera (shhh!) I’d do Adriene’s Yoga at Your Desk. Mostly I can’t because mostly I’m chairing meetings. But it’s my favourite workplace at-your-desk set of yoga moves.

Enjoy!

clothing · fashion · rest · sleep

Aren’t all dresses nap dresses?

Sam B4 Comments

The ads in my digital media news feeds know what I’m up to. Which is to say staying at home, working from home, exercising at home, spending time with family, and napping. I’m also dressing differently now my life is one big blur of working, exercising, doomscrolling, eating, sleeping etc.

Enter the nap dress. I swear ads for different versions of this dress make up half of the advertising I see these days.

And that makes sense given that I’ve declared myself the Pandemic Nap Queen.

Haven’t heard of this pandemic fashion trend yet? See Meet the Nap Dress — Summer’s Biggest Must Have, Meet The ‘Nap Dress,’ The Latest Pandemic Clothing Trend, and Why a nap dress is about to become your new summer staple.

This New Yorker piece explains the allure of the nap dress.

Rachel Syme writes, “Since sleeping through the night was not happening, I figured an outfit specifically designated for daytime dozing might be just the thing. One could theoretically wear a Nap Dress to bed, but it is decidedly not a nightgown. (For one, it is opaque enough to wear to the grocery store.) It is not the same thing as a caftan, which, though often luxurious, is more shapeless and more grown-up. It is not a housedress, which we tend to associate with older women shuffling onto the stoop to grab the morning paper, the curlers still in their hair. A housedress is about forgetting the self, or at least hiding it under layers of quilted fabric. The Nap Dress, on the other hand, suggests a cheeky indulgence for one’s body, and a childlike return to waking up bleary-eyed hours before dinner.”

Here’s what some of them look like:

Nap dresses

The nap dress is part of the daytime nightwear trend.

In “The Uneasy Privilege Of The Daytime Nightgown,” Veronique Hyland talks about the politics of who gets to wear a daytime nap dress during the pandemic. It’s not frontline workers, grocery store clerks, transit workers, and people driving UberEats to pay rent.

“I can appreciate the aesthetic appeal of a nightgown. I get that they’re comfortable, and who doesn’t crave comfort right now? It’s possible that I’m projecting way too much onto a few yards of fabric. But the nightgown, especially as daywear, strikes me as reactionary. Its evocations of passive Victorian and pre-Raphaelite femininity feel like an uncritical throwback to those eras’ mold of white female fragility. The styling of these images evokes sleeping beauties or Ophelias, or worse, invalids. Fashioning yourself as a tubercular Victorian might once have felt ironic; with millions in the grip of a real pandemic—one that is disproportionately affecting Black and brown communities—it feels Marie Antoinette-at-the-Hameau-level out of touch. And in 2020, the idea of “checking out” and into the seductive world of blameless slumber that the nightgown invites us to, does too. It serves as a reminder that while some people are taking to the streets, others are taking to their beds.”

You don’t need a fancy new specially designed nap dress to get into the spirit of the being well-rested. And maybe we can be well-rested, including naps, so that we can work and protest. Tracy’s posts on naps as a form of resistance talks about that connection.

This is speedy, short post, quickly written before I zoom away for holidays where there will definitely be lots and lots of napping but also definitely not any special nap dresses!

See you when I’m back after a week of canoe camping in Algonquin Park.

The Nap Ministry

covid19 · fitness · self care · sleep

Queen of the pandemic naps

Sam B1 Comment

This is me, happy napping, at the end of a long work day.

I don’t know about you but COVID-19 and #wfhlife hasn’t been great for my sleep. I can always fall asleep…see the comic below, it’s me….but I’ve been having nightmares and sometimes waking up way too early. I fall asleep quickly but if I wake I struggle to get back to sleep.

Early morning doom scrolling doesn’t help.

Another sleep complication is that my Zwift races tend to be late, 830 and 900 pm often and they’re all an hour or an hour and a half long. After it’s hard to relax and go to sleep right away. I’m still all zoom zoom, go go, for at least another hour.

Enter the post work nap!

Work. Nap. Supper. Zwift. Sometimes I go back to work after. Shhh! But more often I watch an episode of something and go to sleep. I’m getting more than 8 hours sleep, averaging 8.5 according to my Garmin watch, even if it’s not all in one go.

This would be more challenging if we had children at home but these days we’re empty nesters. Napping in the nest, that’s me.

Has the pandemic changed your sleep patterns at all? Are you struggling a bit with disrupted sleep?

covid19 · fitness

Emptying out my locker at the campus gym

Sam B
Gym Locker Pictures | Download Free Images on Unsplash
Lockers in a gym. Photo from Unsplash.

Gyms across Ontario (most of the province anyway) are reopening tomorrow.

But I won’t be going.

Why?

Well, read this: COVID-19 and the Gym: Building Engineers Weigh In (Guest Post) And I’d rather expend the small amount of risk I’m prepared to take elsewhere. (Hi adult kids!)

I said goodbye to the campus fitness centre way back in early March so it’s been awhile since I’ve been in a gym.

In a case of weird timing, today was also the day I had to go the campus fitness centre to empty my locker. There was a pretty strict COVID-19 process involved: I completed an online self assessment tool and then was asked the same questions at the door. I wore a mask and used the hand sanitizer. I stayed 6 feet away from the one other person allowed in at the same time as me. I carefully followed the markings into the locker room and exited through a different door.

There were other rules too: No personal bags. Instead, they provided a plastic bag. No friends. NO symptoms (fever, cough, runny nose, sore throat, or shortness of breath. No travel outside of Canada in the previous 14 days. NO close contact with a confirmed or probably case of COVID-19.

All good. Mission successful. I actually wasn’t sure what I’d left there. Turns out it was all my swimming stuff. Three fitness bathing suits, paddles of various sorts, bathing caps, goggles etc.

It all felt strange and sad. When I left the gym for the last time in March I think I was imagining being gone for a couple of months. Lately the long haul nature of the pandemic is starting to hit home.

In the meantime, Gryphons Fitness staff are offering lots of Instagram Live classes. You can see them by following their Instagram channel. In the fall, some of these classes will move outdoors for students who are here in Guelph.

The numbers are really good for the online classes. Have a look!

Tabata fitness

Work from home stretches

swimming

Back in the water again! A guest post in four joyful voices

Sam B2 Comments

Monday morning. Back to work after a holiday in Prince Edward County. One of the things I loved about my time on Sarah’s family farm was the swimming pool and playing in the pool with her 6 year old nephew who just loved the water so much. I think he could spend all day in the pool and when I wasn’t riding my bike or reading books and patting Cheddar, I could too.

I got home to so much doom and gloom in the news. But also there in my Facebook newsfeed were the happy faces of four London guest bloggers, including my daughter Mallory, all swimmers, all so thrilled to be back in the pool or the lake. I just couldn’t resist sharing their happy stories with you. I know one of the regular bloggers Bettina has written about this too. See her post Fish Back in Water to add to the chorus of happy voices.

Enjoy!

Mary

Happy Mary post swim and a beautiful sunny day at the pool

There is something about moving in the water and something even more about swimming outdoors, that cannot be replaced. It was with great delight that I was able to book a lane at Thames pool in London Ontario. Social distance, two per lane, advanced booking, for one hour.

The sun was shining, creating magical reflections in the water. It was quiet and I was in my happy place. For one hour, all was well in this crazy world, in my world.

You can read Mary’s past guest posts here and here.

Savita

There’s a saying: you’re one swim away from a good mood. In these pandemic times, it’s more like you’re one swim away from…overwhelming happydancing joy! At first I was both excited and nervous. Excited because Swimming! Nervous because COVID19! But once I got to Thames Pool, the nervousness dissipated. Screening, distancing, 2 people per 50 m lane. Everyone was on good behaviour. So I could focus on finding my movement through the water. I struggled through 900m and it WILL hurt tomorrow. And that will feel awesome!

Thames Pool! Oh, darling, I’ve missed you so!!

You can read Savita’s past guest posts here.

Mallory

Pride flags on a sandy beach

Morning Dip Traditions

This summer, for the first time in a very long time, I am staying in Southwestern Ontario. Normally I would be spending my summer in Northern Ontario working at Rainbow Camp, a summer camp for 2SLGBTQ+ teens.

One of my favourite camp traditions is morning dip. It’s a wake-up call, a way to start your day feeling fresh, renewed and sometimes cold! Even when no campers join me or in between sessions when we have no campers, I still love starting my day in the lake.

This year, we are running a virtual camp called Rainbow Online Connection. Monday morning was our first full day and it also happened to be the first day of lane swimming at a nearby outdoor pool so guess how I started my day? Morning dip! A little more athletic than I’m using to starting my mornings but still a great start to my day. (And for those of you interested, our first day of online camp went amazing!) See Rainbow Camp for more information.

You can read Mallory’s past guest posts here.

Amanda Lynn

Smiling in the sun, with water and beach in the background

Summer just isn’t summer for me without getting into the water. Outdoors. At the height Ontario’s COVID isolation, my biggest fear was that summer would come and go, and I wouldn’t get to float in Lake Huron. When they opened the beaches at Pinery Provincial Park, we went up the first day. The water was a brisk 59F, but I still dove in with relief.

We’ve been back to the lake three times since then. On calm days, the sun shines through the blue water and I look up to the sky from below the surface. I bob back up and drift gently, and I feel whole.

You can read Amanda’s past guest posts here and here.

strength training

Resistance bands and home workouts

Sam B

Like many people I bought resistance bands as part of my at home workout plan. I even bought some that were too strong–they had a woman on the box, I was charmed and surprised–and blogged about it: Pleasant surprise!

Since then we’ve bought more and between them and the sandbags and the water jugs, we’ve been working out lots on the back deck. Will I keep this up when my son, who is usually a frequent gym goer moves out next month? I hope so. Stay tuned.

Here’s some useful links to find out more:

The benefits of resistance bands

All You Need to Create Literally *Any* Piece of Gym Equipment at Home Is This $15 Resistance Band

Five Great Things about Working Out with Resistance Bands

Best resistance band exercises for legs

Sam in a blue tshirt on her back deck working out with a green resistance band