Almost exactly 4 years ago– March 22, 2020– I wrote about developing my Zoom identity. Back then, most of us were noobs at Zooming, but we quickly adapted to Zoom-versions of everything from therapy to French class to bedtime stories to Zoom-Zumba.
Back then, I touted the benefits that Zoom yoga classes provide– namely, they made me more comfortable doing (easier) modifications of poses, or holding them for shorter periods, taking a pause, and then resuming. It felt liberating to be un-visible (different from invisible, obvs), free to move or stretch or be still in ways that suited me in the moment.
Yeah. That was sooo four years ago.
Mind you, I am massively appreciative of videoconferencing technology. It made possible the continuation (after a fashion) of so much of my pre-pandemic life: teaching Zoom classes, going to Zoom parties, weddings, funerals, faculty meetings, book club sessions, even attending Zoom church. And of course, those Zoom yoga and exercise classes.
Now, in March of 2024, we all have a lot of experience with the pros and cons of non-in-person meetings, conferences, medical appointments, physical activity classes, etc.
For Zoom physical activity classes, there are definitely some pros:
When I’m not feeling peppy or having a tightly scheduled day, Zooming is better than nothing.
There are recordings of lots of Zoom classes (my yoga studio makes them available for a week after the class), which can be handy.
I get to be un-visible (I’m really liking this word; I hope you don’t mind) during classes when I’m not feeling up to pushing myself hard.
A Zoom yoga class, for example, offers me more structure than my doing some yoga by myself; it also makes me practice for longer than I would if left to guide myself on the mat.
But there are most definitely cons.
Zoom yoga (for me, at least) is soooo inferior an experience compared to in-person yoga. Being in the same room with a teacher and other people is motivating, companionable, probably safer (e.g. we would be more protected from harmful variations on poses), more conducive to learning and developing a deeper practice, and just more fun.
And I promise you that singing bowls sound way cooler and more cosmic in person than on video. To wit:
This sounds nice, but it is way better in person. Trust me.
Another sort-of con (at least for me) is the wholesale availability of Zoom versions of yoga, meditation and exercise classes. The problem for me is that inertia plus habit plus any suboptimal daily circumstances makes me think, “oh, I’ll just do this over Zoom instead.” At which point either I don’t Zoom at all, or I Zoom and participate in a less committed way.
Of course your mileage may vary. But it’s so tempting to try to multitask during Zoom-anything because we CAN. About six months into the pandemic, I was on Zoom church, when I saw one person doing core exercises on their living room floor during the sermon. They had forgotten to turn their camera off– oops! And yes, we all know that more embarrassing things have been spotted during Zoom sessions, but that’s not my point here. It’s rather that so many things pull us in the directions of doing much more (e.g. multitasking) or doing much less (not participating in the class exercises or poses, etc.) when we are on Zoom.
It’s not Zoom’s fault, and it’s not totally our fault, either. But, I’m now facing a choice: muster a bit more oomph for in-person activity, or develop a more active Zoom identity (or some of both).
Readers, where are you on Zoom physical activity classes? Are you over them, or are they now a big part of your life? I’d love to hear from you.
Honestly, I’m not sure I want to. When posts from that period come up in my memories, I’m sometimes feel baffled about what they’re about. Later there were shared recipes (in my circle Black Pepper Tofu) and shared solutions to problems (headbands for those us with shaggy unkept hair) but at the start, it was all shut downs.
Here’s Catherine’s post on her last in yoga studio class.
And my post about Yoga with Adriene at home with dogs. I love my optimism, “Since I’ve decided to stay clear of the gym and the yoga studio in these times of the novel coronavirus, I’m going to be doing more yoga at home with Cheddar in weeks and maybe months to come. Wish us luck!”
So far this year my dedication to physio and regular daily exercise as part of my return to fitness has surpassed even my own expectations. Usually I plan more and don’t do it all (with zero guilt). But this year I’ve done a lot. In the 223 for 2023 group I was at 326 episodes of intentional physical movement last week. I met the 223 goal sometime this summer. There’s a story behind that–knee surgery, knee physio, and serious commitment to rehab and rebuilding fitness–but it all came to a grinding halt last week with the dreaded lurgy. (Shoutout to my father who taught me that wonderful expression, a favourite of his.)
So yes readers, I got sick! Weirdly it’s been years since I’ve been sick. Two knee replacement surgeries and one round of mild COVID-19 in the early omicron days have been it for a few years. I don’t like this getting sick thing. I was fevered, pukey, headachey, sore throaty and cough flavoured sick. The doctor asked which symptoms I had. I said all of them. She laughed. I haven’t tested positive for covid and I’ve been testing each day for 6 days as I write this on the weekend. I know, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t covid. I just know it’s some kind of not-very-nice virus. I went quickly from ‘maybe I should work from home today’ early in the week to “huh, I guess I won’t be working from anywhere.” I hit the bed and stayed there for days.
I wasn’t well enough to even watch fluffy television. I just slept. I didn’t eat–aside from the odd slice of toast and cup of tea–and I drank water if someone reminded me.
When I finally left the house to go to the doctor Friday it felt like a major athletic achievement. I was stiff and sore for not moving for days–especially my knees. I was light headed and woozy walking around.
And it wasn’t even time off work for three of the days. Instead, it was the worst option–CANCELLED VACATION.
Sarah, Cheddar, and I were supposed to be staying in a dog friendly OTENTik in Point Pelee National Park.
Like this:
Otentik
After that I missed attending the Ontario Universities Fair with my team from the College of Arts at Guelph on Saturday. I gave away Saturday night tickets to see Wild Woman at Soul Pepper. Hope it was good Susan!
Finally, I got out for a short dog walk. It was just 1.5 km but you bet I counted it as a workout. I might even have napped after!
Sam emerges and goes for a walk with Sarah and 3 dogs
I’ll get back to it next week, slowly.
You too Catherine, take it easy friend. Why yes, I’m the second sick blogger this week.
In the meantime, thanks to all the people at work who stepped in and thanks to Sarah and mum at home who’ve kept an eye on me.
In this #TBT post, I look back to what was happening with FIFI in 2013, the year the blog started.
In her March 23, 2013 post, Back after it after almost a month away: Rebuilding after illness, @samanthabrennan describes what happened when she got “a very nasty virus” that stopped her from exercising for nearly a month. She reports experiencing many bad symptoms: the worst was a “wracking cough” that kept her up all night. It’s tough on the body to be sick for so long, and it can negatively affect one’s spirits as well.
Ten years ago, Sam gave herself some motivational advice to help her get back to her activities: Aikido, soccer, CrossFit, rowing, riding, running, and swimming. Here’s a summary of the Sam-to-Sam pep talk:
Misery loves company (my expression, not hers): Sam notes that she will be no less further along than everyone else who has struggled to keep up exercising over the long, cold winter in Canada.
Baby Steps: Sam tells herself to take small steps and work out with others who may be in a similar situation.
Acceptance: Sam suggests checking her ego to help her to accept any nervousness she may be feeling.
Enjoyment: Sam has missed out, and she knows it will be good to return what makes her happy.
Focus on the good: Sam says that nutrition and on eating intuitively can be a productive focus as she rebuilds her strength.
At the time that Sam was recovering from her illness, she could not have predicted that, ten years later, millions of people around the world would have to rebuild their strength and their spirits after facing COVID-19 and other related viral illnesses.
This includes me. I’ve been sick with more than one viral infection for nearly three weeks, and although I’m recovering it’s had me feeling down.
So, I decided to apply Sam’s ten year-old advice pre-COVID advice to my current situation.
Same boat: I’ve heard of lots of folks who have been out sick for a long time these days. Although I feel like this illness will go on forever, others have struggled too and come out the other side. So will I.
Treadmill baby steps: I can capitalize on feeling better than I did last week by doing daily stretching, yoga, and some short treadmill walks before I re-join the world. (Also, I should really clean my home.)
Accept…and appreciate: Even when I’m healthy it’s hard to accept my skill levels, but there’s nothing like getting sick to help appreciate what it’s like doing stuff while illness-free.
My teams: I’ve played two team sports this winter, curling and soccer. I’ve missed seeing my teammates in both leagues, and the season is not yet over, so hopefully soon I will re-join them.
Tasting things: Like Sam, I haven’t been eating well while sick. Trying to get back to regular meals and healthier snacks will be good. Being able to taste things again will be even better.
Overall, I find Sam’s advice (to herself) reassuring for getting over an illness. Looking back has helped me to think more positively about moving forward!
TL/DR: Resting when you are sick is a good thing but it is very complicated when many of your roles are responsive rather clearly defined. It would be helpful if people acknowledged how complicated it can be instead of just telling a sick person to rest.
Truth be told, I had a pretty good run of luck but, alas, all good things must end and last week, despite my various precautions, I came down with Covid.
Here I am in my full Covid glamour. This was before anyone else in my house was sick so I was self-isolating and masking even though I was alone in my room. My oldest son was at his grandparents so I sent him this ‘proof-of-life’ photo because he was worried about me. Image description: a selfie of me lying on my side in bed wearing an N95 mask. My face is puffy and I look ill. I’m wearing a grey fleece hoodie. On the nights as behind me you can see my lamp, medications, and my new tea cup that my friend Paula made. It has Cold911 tea in but you can’t tell that from the photo.
(And, subsequently, despite our in-house precautions, so did my whole family. Thankfully, none of us took any scary turns for the worse and we are all improving slowly but it was overwhelming and difficult and worrisome.)
So, I guess that means that my resistance to (and reluctance about) going out last Monday was probably part and parcel of having a virus attacking my system, not just a case of garden-variety I-don’t-wanna.
Now, I know that the key to recovery from any illness is rest and that that goes quadruple for Covid. The internet is full of advice about just how much and how long you should rest during and immediately after a bout with the virus.
But, frankly, it feels a bit like when I was a new mother and I was told to ‘sleep when the baby sleeps.’
Just like back then, the advice is good and so are the intentions, but…
HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO PULL THAT OFF?
Who is coming to step into my (metaphorical) shoes?
I‘m pretty good at the physical aspect of resting. I can take to my bed like a Victorian lady, surrounded by tea, snacks, books, and tissues.
However, even in the midst of all kinds of practical and moral support, it is damn hard to step back from the mental work of the things I do day-to-day. So my bedside accoutrements also include my phone and a notebook and some lists so I can deal with the things that are too complicated to hand off to someone else.
I am definitely not trying to claim that I am indispensable or any other nonsense like that but I am *used* to the things I have to do on a regular basis. I have practice. I am well-trained for my roles.
I’d need to be able to download the entire contextual net of my thoughts to be able to hand this off easily.
Now, to be clear, my paid work as a writer/coach/storyteller can largely be rescheduled. However, my family and volunteer roles, those can’t be handled the same way.
And a lot of that work can’t wait. I can’t, for example, put off groceries until I feel better. Normally, I would just go once a week or so and pick up the usual stuff and while I cook most of the time, any of us are capable of cooking.
But, I can’t just drop that task. We have to eat, even if we’re sick.
And since our existing system hinges on how my brain works, I have to be involved in the process of reassigning those tasks. Even if I am not going to be the one going to the grocery store, even if I am not going to be the one generating the list, I’m going to be consulted on the details. And since the default system (me going to the supermarket) won’t be happening, we need to figure out who is going to go and when they can go, and so on. Instead of an automatic system, it has become a series of plans and decisions.
That’s just one small part the various details I generally handle for my family.
For my volunteer work, often a lot of things can wait, but my work last week was related to upcoming public events that cannot be rescheduled. Yes, I have a team but I’ve been the person putting all the pieces together to make the big picture and it’s a bit late in the process to plop someone else into that role.
And I know some people reading are probably thinking things like: “Well, if you delegated the work in the first place…If you didn’t gatekeep…If you didn’t try doing everything yourself…If you trusted other people to do their work…If you insisted that other people take responsibility for things at home…”
I get why you might think all of those things. It’s a natural response to wonder if I have had a hand in creating this problem.
However, this isn’t about me trying to be a martyr and it’s definitely not about me gatekeeping or not holding other people responsible to do their part. It’s way more complex than that.
It’s about the roles I have ended up taking on in my life – by choice, by default, by societal expectation. It’s about a series of things going slightly awry and things coming to a time crunch. And it’s about someone with ADHD just doing the best she can most of the time and then not necessarily being able to ‘show her work’ so someone can take things to the next step.
Because of my ADHD, I struggle with creating systems. I have trouble seeing the bits and pieces of a project. I appreciate when I can delegate things but I’m not always conscious of the steps involved in my work until I am in the middle of them so it’s a bit hard to help someone else know what to do.
In fact, I often say that it is only when I am working on step one of a project that step two will float up out of the fog and reveal itself. It’s like one of those adventure movies or video games where the heroine has to be brave enough to step toward the chasm in order for the first part of the floating platform to appear.
So, as a result, way too much of any project I am involved in is in my head. I am working on documenting more of my routine activities but since that is exactly the kind of work my brain hates the most and since I don’t have someone willing to follow me around and take notes, it will take a while to make that happen.
So, while I am not a Type A person and I am not obsessed with work, when I am resting I have extra trouble giving away the tasks I usually take on.
Don’t get me wrong, I would happily hand them off. I don’t even need them to be done ‘my’ way. I’m just not sure what tasks I usually do nor am I necessarily sure what needs to be done next.
And even when I do know what to do next, I find that the coordinating tasks that usually fall to me take a lot of work to pass along to someone else. In fact, it is less stressful to do the thing than it is to to figure out how to share the information that I am waiting on a call from person A and if they say yes then tasks 1, 2, 3 need to happen but if they say now, then task 1 can happen but we need to call person B for task 2, and skip task 3, and do 3B instead.
(Meanwhile, if I do continue with a few tasks, I give the impression that I’m not all that sick or that it is business as usual, and then more work comes my way but that’s a whole other thing.)
Even if I were to try to explain that collection of tasks and what-ifs to someone who has offered to help, it’s likely that they would get completely overwhelmed because it is too much all at once. And since they couldn’t possibly pick up a month’s worth of details in a single conversation, I would end up with umpteen texts and emails to confirm bits and pieces of information.
So, instead of having one set of tasks to do in bits and pieces as I felt able, planning for the kind of complete complete rest that we’re advised to do would actually involve multiple levels of new tasks.
I would essentially be choosing between 1) doing the tasks as they showed up for me or 2) a) struggling to identify the tasks I unconsciously do for a given project b) connecting them to their relevant information in my head and typing that out somewhere c) putting both of that in some sort of timeline d) figuring out who the best person is to take the next steps e) hoping it isn’t too much to ask f) responding to the person’s (completely justified) questions at random intervals.
Which sounds more like rest to you?
Speaking of being helpful, here’s a photo of Khalee who is closely supervising me as I eat a banana. She has indicated that if I need to rest, she can finish this task for me. Image description: Khalee, my light haired dog, stands next to our kitchen bench staring intently at the camera.
In the end, I’ve been doing a hybrid sort of thing.
I typed out as many things as I could think of that needed to be done and added any context that occurred to me.
I farmed out any urgent things to people who had capacity to handle them (and, to be clear, I had lots of offers of help and support and I took people up on them as often as was feasible.)
I did (and continue to do) any things that I could manage, whenever I felt up to doing them.
And, annoyingly, I’ve dealt with some of the same sort of pushback I had when I was a new mom who couldn’t rest when the baby rested because it was my only chance to get something to eat, to put in a load of laundry, or to pick up the things that were cluttering the room and making me feel overwhelmed.
I’m not ignoring good advice.
I’m not pretending that the world can’t get along without me.
I’m not refusing to let other people help.
I’m trying to recover from an illness while I balance my needs against my responsibilities.
And while I could, in the long run, develop systems to make the delegate process easier, for right now, I am doing the best I can with the resources I have and getting grief for that just makes things harder.
So, can I ask you a favour?
If you are advising someone to rest, could you be respectful about it?
Maybe say things like ‘Are you getting enough rest?’ or ‘Is there anything I can take on that would help you to rest?’ instead of ‘The world can get by without you for a few days.’ or ‘You’ll never get better if you don’t rest.’
It’s all well and good to tell people to rest so they can recover but the process way more complicated than them just switching off their lives and heading to bed.
Let’s not pretend otherwise.
PS – I am deeply grateful for all the help and all the offers of help we have received this week. My friends and family have made things a lot easier and I have been well taken care of.
Image description: Ohm symbol commonly associated with yoga.
Long time blog readers will know that I absolutely adore hot yoga. I cannot explain why yoga in a hot room feels so much more satisfying to me than yoga at room temperature, but it does. And so it was a huge sacrifice when I felt the need mid-pandemic to take a stand and leave the hot yoga studio that I’ve been a dedicated member of for over a decade. At the time, I felt that they were making decisions concerning COVID that put their yoga community at risk and violated legal requirements that had been put in place based on recommendations from Ontario’s science table. I wrote about my decision here.
Well I’m happy to say that after more than ten months, I am back at hot yoga at the same studio. I don’t regret taking the position I did last October. Back in October I said, “I don’t know if I’ll go back or if they’ll have me back.” But now I feel that one of the things I’ve learned over the course of the pandemic is that I value relationships that I have built over time and I do not take them for granted. I may have disagreed, even strongly disagreed, with the official position of the yoga studio. But I am not willing to let their position on a temporary situation have permanent consequences for my well-being. To do so would have been a case of cutting off my nose to spite my face.
I have been feeling the itch to go back for some time now. So when I got a notice that they were offering a deal on ten-class passes, I purchased a couple. My goal is to incorporate it back into my life slowly, starting with a class a week. Last week when I went to my first class since October I consciously chose to go with one my favourite instructor. I got there early enough to take up my preferred spot near, but not right in, the hot front corner, and lie in savasana for a few minutes before we started. It was a yang-yin class, which meant it was only vigorous for half an hour, then completely and deliciously stretchy and slow for a half an hour. It felt so right to be back in the hot studio.
I know many of us had to switch up our routines during the pandemic, and some of those routines are permanently altered. But I’ve talked to lots of people who have been extremely eager to get back to their gyms and yoga studios and what have you.
Did you experience any big interruptions or changes in your fitness routines over the past couple of years? Have you gone back to anything that was put on hiatus? If you have, I’d love to hear in the comments about how it felt to go back.
Shortly after coming home from my work commute the other day, I found that my partner (and cat) could barely stand to be around me. I was being a total grump—tired and irritable. Why?
I had spent the last two days commuting by car (an hour each way, plus more travel between sites), then sitting for hours at desks that were not my own. Being vehicle- and desk-bound used to be my work-a-day norm. But, after only a few days back at work, and despite all the travel, I felt unusually sedentary and yuck.
A woman hunched over her laptop at a desk. Posture posture posture!
I have worked from home during most of the COVID-19 pandemic. This means I’ve had the luxury of walking or exercising before or after work (most days!), and taking short stretch breaks anytime I’ve needed to in a private and comfortable space of my own. More control over how, where, and how much I sit.
You may be thinking—with all this privilege, 5 hours in the car over 2 days is not, relatively speaking, a big deal. Boo hoo, Elan. (At first I thought that too.)
Yet, because I am trying to be mindful and notice things more, I realized maybe I hadn’t prepared myself sufficiently for what back to work would feel like for my body.
Reminders are for people who need reminding. Here is a brief list of reminders for how I might show up more prepared for my return-to-work days a (and be less of a grump around those I love afterwards).
Leave 15 minutes earlier than I need to and park at the far end of the parking lot to have time to walk and stretch before sitting in the office.
Bring more water and veggie snacks than I think I will need in order to stay hydrated (and avoid the snack machine).
Schedule in-person meetings to end 10 minutes before the hour, and use that time to get up and move around, perhaps reacquainting myself with the buildings and their outdoor spaces.
Assess the ergonomics of my seated position in my car and in my hoteling office work spaces—try to notice my posture and pack what I need to adjust myself.
Make time to stretch before getting back into my car near the end of the day.
That’s me, third car on the right.
What else could help me to manage feelings sedentary and grumpy during return to work? Please share your ideas in comments below!
I honestly didn’t know what other title to give this post, and I’m also not quite sure where it’s going (nowhere, is probably where).
Where is all this going? Bettina wonders. In the image, a forest road lined by bare trees disappears into thick fog. Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
Over here in Europe, we’ve got our eyes turned eastward in horror. We pack boxes of baby items, nappies, cereal, fruit purée pouches, and face masks, and send them off in a lorry in the hopes they will reach the desperate people who need them. We wonder whether we should start stocking up on non-perishable goods and have a survival backpack ready to go just in case. At work lunches, we talk about whether we should be ready to flee to a different country, and if so, which one (Canada comes up a lot). And we try to guess whether Putin will stop in Ukraine, and what will happen if a Russian soldier so much as puts one little toe over the border of a NATO country. We wonder if, in the face of a never-ending pandemic, global warming, and war just one country over, bringing a child into this world was really the right thing to do.
Thinking about fitness, or doing fitnessy things, doesn’t come easy these days. It feels shallow to care about whether I will achieve 222 in 2022 (probably not). I catch myself thinking, “what if war happens and we have to survive outside or flee on foot, and I’m as unfit as I am right now?” But at the same time, when I can get myself to move, it helps. It distracts me, it gets me out into the sunshine (finally, a hint of spring!), it gets me away from the onslaught of horrible news coming at us from all angles right now. An hour in the pool makes me feel invigorated. A short Yoga with Adriene session makes my body feel less stiff. And a long walk in the sun with friends makes me feel more optimistic.
And then our very own Sam shares an article on Facebook entitled “What to do when the World is ending”, and I realise that, as hard as it seems right now, and as much as I want to curl up in a dark corner, close my eyes and stick my fingers in my ears, I will continue trying to take agency and working to build a good life amidst all this chaos. Thanks for sharing that article, Sam, it was exactly what I needed the other day.
New year’s resolution web articles normally help readers to set and achieve their big goals. This year, some authors—including Christine, Catherine, and Natalie at FIFI—have shifted to encouraging smaller “micro-resolutions” or to changing our approach altogether. The author of this article from The Atlantic claims that resolutions aren’t “vibe” for 2022, and instead encourages folks to reflect on “small good things” that reveal why our goals matter in the first place.
Working from home last year during the COVID-19 pandemic, I’ve started a few random habits that motivate me to help me care for my health. After reviewing this article on the “small good things,” I realized that these are behaviours I’d like to carry over from the previous year because they connect with things I value.
So, here are four of my “old year resolutions” for 2022:
#1 Sun Salutations – D&D Style
A die with 20 sides on a yoga mat.
Because I work at my desk all day, I need to stop and stretch. But I find stretching boring. So, for my stretch breaks I’ve started doing sun salutation sequences while regulating my breath. But how many cycles do I do?
I also like to play games. So, when I get up for a stretch, I’ll roll a D20. Whatever my roll, that’s how many repetitions of the asanas I do. I get a needed break from sitting and the die roll connects with how I value games and keeping exercise fun.
#2 Empty and Refill Station
Over the years I’ve tried so many ways to drink more water–setting a timer, drinking a glass of water at every 3rd hour, toting water bottles around with me everywhere, using flavour crystals, etc. Nothing seemed convenient for me (my value) to work.
This past year, I discovered that I will have multiple glasses of water in a day if I drink them…right after my pee break. So, I keep a water glass in every bathroom now, because while I’ve already got the faucet on and am washing my hands, I might as well fill’er up. I also wash the cup now and then with the soap!
#3 The “Hungry Enough” Apple
Because I enjoy snacking, I normally don’t wait until I am hungry to eat. Snacking has been made easier during WFH. But I have a sensitive tummy, I will snack mindlessly until I start to feel sick.
Then, I remembered the “hungry enough” apple (or any fruit equivalent) to avoid over-snacking, a tactic I learned from a past colleague. Now I keep a piece of fruit on my home desk, and if I am “hungry enough” to snack I tell myself to eat it first.
I am NOT suggesting that others should police their food consumption in any kind of way–everyone’s relationship with food is their own and I fully respect that. However, I’ve found that I feel better when I eat fruit before other snacks, even though fruit is not my first snack choice.
#4 Permission to Feel Comfortable
I have about 6 pairs of dress pants in my closet that I used to wear regularly for work, but they have not seen the light of day since the COVID-19 pandemic started.
At first, I reproduced my time-consuming rituals and put on uncomfortable clothing items in order to “dress for work.” But after many months of WFH, I have started giving myself permission to be more comfortable. I still make myself presentable for a professional work environment, but at my desk I use a heating pad, aromatherapy, and stim toys that help me to manage my fidgeting.
I am fortunate enough to have the space and the freedom to adjust my clothing and working environment, but comfort while working was a value I never knew I had until recently.
Making Evolutions, Not Resolutions
These are small behaviours I stumbled on over time that have become helpful habits for my health. They are evolutions, not resolutions, that I hope to keep this year and as long as I can because they reflect what I value.
What “Old Year” resolutions do you hope to keep or maintain in the new year?
Changes are especially tough when you’ve been hoping and planning for a thing to see you through rough times. For months Sarah, Jeff, and I have been planning a boat and bike trip in the Florida Keys over the holidays. It’s been a strange and difficult fall, thanks to the pandemic, and biking somewhere warm and sunny sounded like an an excellent idea. In the Before Times I’ve gone south most winters to get in a week or two of warmer weather biking. And then of course everything changed. Our last trip was January 2020.
There’s been a lot of planning and discussion about this trip. Jeff had to wait in Nova Scotia on the boat until the US border opened and he could make the dash to the east coast US. Once there, he motored quickly to make his way south. He’s now in Florida but, and it’s a big but, Canada has issued a travel advisory and everything feels all wrong.
We know we can drive. We know no one will stop us. We’d be outside, etc etc.
But as the CBC reports, “Health Minister Jean-Yves Duclos is asking Canadians with plans to travel abroad to cancel their trips as the highly transmissible Omicron variant spreads worldwide. To prevent travel-related infections at a time of mounting case counts, the federal government has changed its official guidance to advise Canadians to avoid all non-essential travel outside the country for the time being. “To those who were planning to travel, I say very clearly — now is not the time to travel. The rapid spread of the Omicron variant on a global scale makes us fear the worst,” Duclos said.”
When the thing I’d been looking forward to all semester looks now like it won’t happen, I was pretty upset. And I’ve got to say, as Omicron rages across the province and the city of Guelph issues work from home orders, my usual coping strategies aren’t working.
For the first time since the pandemic began, I lost my “we can do hard things and get through this” spirit. I won’t argue here much about these things but I have been very keen to follow the advice of public health and do what I am asked. I stayed home when asked to stay home. I got vaccinated, I’ve had a booster. And now there is a new variant moving so quickly through the population of my province that even having done all that the hospitals might be overwhelmed anyway? It’s hard not to despair and I am not the despairing sort.
I shared this with our Facebook page I Can’t Self-Care My Way Into Feeling Better Anymore. I confessed that I wasn’t yoga-ing with Adrienne through this wave of the pandemic. I mean I might get there. I hope I get there. But Friday at least I was in the ‘go to bed with a box of chocolates at 7 pm and watch Only Murders in the Building’ stage of coping.
Only Murders in the Building
It’s the whiplash that’s hard. Things were going so well.
I’m a resilient sort and I’m surrounded by people who love and support me through difficult times. The weekend got better. Sarah and I went to a friend’s backyard party on Saturday and felt very festive, very covid-safe, and very Canadian eating wonderful food and celebrating the Yule with friends, wearing snowsuits, gathered around a fire. Thanks for hosting Nancy!
We used an old sail to keep the snow off the food.
Images from a backyard Yule celebration
Sunday, we decorated the house, even though few friends will see it except on social media. Family will enjoy when the kids visit for Christmas. (Yes, we’re all fully vaxxed and we’re rapid testing first and we’re a small group.) It makes me smile and we’ll have our annual ‘bring cookies and eat them’ party next year.
A decorated house with bonus sleeping dog.
Sarah and I also went for a dog walk with Kim and Emma, Cheddar, and Charlie in the sun and the snow. That helped too.
Sarah and Kim, me, and Cheddar
In the evening we drove around with my mother looking at the most decorated houses of Guelph. All very safe and very festive.
Here’s one with a minion choir!
Here’s one more festive house!
No final decisions have been made but we are thinking we’ll head south and bike and boat whenever the travel advisory lifts. We don’t have to go now.
I’m breathing a bit better and feeling less sad, anxious, and panicked.
