The Winter Solstice arrived today at 6:22 am in my part of the world. In practical terms, it means I got up in the dark to watch the sunrise on the shortest day followed by the longest night.

But it means more than that. After today, the days will begin to lengthen. By the first week of January, I will be noticing how much later twilight comes. The sunshine may still be weak, but we will have more of it. And two months after that we will be approaching the spring equinox.

Today though, it can still be too dark for some of us to manage. If Seasonal Affective Disorder is an issue for you, try taking some Vitamin D. If you have some money to spare, perhaps a sun lamp will help. You could also try lighting a few candles to keep back the dark. Look into the flame and meditate on the shapes, the colours and the way the light moves with your breath.

Today the light begins its return journey. Celebrate its return and while you are at it, look for other sources of light and happiness in your life. Those good memories can help relieve stress and remind you of the goodness in the world.

Sometimes when we are super busy, we tend to park our feelings, or stuff them away, to deal with later. The holidays can bring up all kinds of feels. I’m not a weepy person by nature, but listening to small children sing will always prompt a tear. Or two. Or maybe even three.

It’s okay to feel. Showing emotion is sometimes seen as a negative. However, I am here to say in some cases, it’s much better to let the wave of emotion wash over you. Take a few deep breaths and let any tension ease from your body.

Acknowledge the emotion — fear, anger, sadness, anxiety. If you can, take a moment to identify what prompted the wave. Maybe it was a scent, a sound, a word, or a place. Take a moment to recall a happy moment and let that positive energy flow through.

In the picture above, there’s lots of water. It can look and feel a little frightening. But there’s also light and if you look at it sideways, you can see a heart. Life is a lot like that picture. Lots of emotion and activity, but also lots of light and love. Be well; stay well.

Since the pandemic started, I have written here, here, and here about mental health approaches to coping with stress and anxiety. We live in stressful times, and there are often peaks and valleys as things settle and others start to bubble. In December, the holidays add their own layer of stress; regardless of your faith and traditions, the weight of expectations can be weighty indeed.

In developing this calendar, I remembered a technique for calming anxiety. Different organizations have described it, but I like how the Mayo Clinic sets theirs up. First sit quietly. Look around you and notice:

• Five things you can see: Your hands, the sky, a plant on your colleague’s desk
• Four things you can physically feel: Your feet on the ground, a ball, your friend’s hand
• Three things you can hear: The wind blowing, children’s laughter, your breath
• Two things you can smell: Fresh-cut grass, coffee, soap
• 1 thing you can taste: A mint, gum, the fresh air

The clinic says: This exercise helps you shift your focus to your surroundings in the present moment and away from what is causing you to feel anxious. It can help interrupt unhealthy thought patterns.

Focusing on your senses takes you outside your head and into the world around you. Number, categories, and structure help bring calm through order.

In my very first apartment that I lived in on my own without anyone else to share, I had a giant clawfoot tub. I could lie in it full length, submerge myself to just my nose and still have room to move my feet.

I loved that tub. On hot humid days, I would run a tepid bath and get cool. On cold winter days, when I thought I would never thaw out from -30C temps, a hot bath would bring me back to life.

Later, as the mom of an active child who was always on the run, a shower refreshed and energized me sufficiently to launch myself into the next adventure with my delightful toddler.

These days, hot showers or baths serve to soothe aching muscles after a workout or a steady three hours in the garden or house doing clean up. I have also found they are great wakeups in the morning and great relaxers for the end of the day.

If you need 15 minutes peace, a shower will give you that. Need 30 minutes, have a bath. If you feel so inclined, add some plain epsom salts (cheap and effective) to ease tension.

Not inclined to a bath or shower? If the weather is good, go for a walk and find running water. there’s nothing liker the sound of water running over rocks or waves breaking on a shore to soothe the jangles and ease the wrinkles in your head space.

Sometimes we find ourselves in a rut. The familiar can be safe and comfortable, but at times, it can also be frustrating. If you are feeling unsettled, yet you are not sure what to do, you may find trying something new is the nudge you need.

If you always take the same path, you may miss subtle changes in the landscape, literally and metaphorically. Instead of going right, go left. Cross the street to the other side instead of sticking to the sidewalk. Pick a romance instead of a mystery, or fiction vs non fiction. Read a book instead of watching a tv show. Try yoga instead of skipping.

Routines can be very helpful for simplifying daily tasks and reducing the stress of choice. However, trying something new can give you a boost of energy. The mother of a friend of mine was always fond of telling us “a change is as good as a rest,” and she was right. The changes don’t have to be huge; small tweaks forward, what the Japanese call kaizen as steps to continuous improvement, can make a difference. Remember, your life is not a one-way street.

Years ago I worked with a lovely woman, who used to change the message on her answering machine every Friday and advise her callers that she was away at the cottage. One day, I asked her where her cottage was located as she lived in a different province from mine. “Oh, I don’t have one,” she said cheerfully. “I just put that message on so people will leave me alone.”

Now I don’t have a cottage either, but I do try to unplug, to take a social media sabbatical, if you like. Early in the pandemic there was lots of chatter about doomscrolling. Wired Magazine did an interesting piece on how doomscrolling won’t stop the apocalypse from happening, but it will affect how prepared you are mentally to deal with it.

So here’s a few ways you can unplug from the radical to the simple.

1. Delete your accounts.
2. Snooze your accounts.
3. Keep your accounts but delete them from your device.
4. Mute, unfollow or remove people from your social media feeds.
5. Let people know you are taking a break. You can put an away message on your email, or answer phone. You can remove text notifications and other alerts that beep, tinkle, or sing.
6. If you need to maintain contact, set aside a specific time of day and a specific amount of time for the check-ins.
7. Charge your phone somewhere out of reach, or even better, out of your bedroom.

Worried about what to do without your phone? Try a new activity (or one you haven’t been able to do as much of because of the doomscrolling). Try taking a walk, reading a book or magazine with paper, or picking up the phone and calling someone (instead of zooming). If you are handy, make something. If you are not, make a list of StupidProjects, as my friend terms them, and tackle those.

I am not someone who can draw. I can do little stick people and that’s about it. During the early days of the pandemic, I was on a call when one of the speakers said something that spoke to me. I wrote it down (I’m a compulsive note-taker) and started doodling around it.

I found it relaxing and a useful way to record nuggets of information. Sometimes I filled in spaces with dots; sometimes I drew spirals; sometimes I just changed the colours. I still can’t draw a line (helpful hint: use a ruler!) but I now have a little stack of quotes and ideas filled with colour and random shapes. Engaging in creative play, even with simple materials like a pen or pencil and scrap paper, offers some respite in a busy day.

Pandemic fashion is a thing: we’ve got nap dresses, electronic eyebrows (on Zoom you can enhance lips and brows), or fancy business tops and comfy pants below the screen.

Friends have shared how they finally put on hard shoes in the fall and it was a shock. I myself have surveyed my cupboard and have hauled out my pretty shoes so I can enjoy them (I wear mostly flats so no stilettos to trip me up). Adios indoor sneakers; hello unicorn slippers.

Casual gear is where it’s at. The New York Times reports that in April 2020, sweat pant sales went up 80%. But this post isn’t about a shift from business wear to casual chic. This is about getting dressed.

A local company in my home province is making t-shirts to celebrate the small wins. (Disclosure: I have no financial interest in this business. They make nice clothes and they have the best size range I have ever seen.) This one is my favourite:

It’s easy to stay in our comfy clothes day after day. Or to wear our pyjamas all day. And that’s perfectly okay. For awhile. However, changing our clothes can shift our perspective from night to day (it’s morning!) or from rest to work (hello Zoom!), or from work to play (hi there yoga pants AND mat). It can be the one thing we can accomplish if we are feeling hugely stressed.

These days, when the line between our work day ending and me time beginning is very blurred, changing into or from work clothes can help you make that shift more strongly. If you have been finding it hard to mark those boundaries, try making it with what you are wearing, That one tiny step will build on other tiny steps. Be well, stay well.

One of my favourite things to do as a kid was to pile a bunch of pillows in the bottom of my closet space, crawl in, pull the eyelet curtain that served as a door across, and read to my heart’s content in my makeshift cocoon. As an aunt, I loved building blanket forts with my nieces and nephews and when I had my child, I did the same with them.

Blanket forts, pillows, pets, people — depending on our experiences, we can enjoy a cuddle or comforting touch from time to time on our terms. The pandemic has meant for many of us there are limits on who we can hug or when. The absence of touch for comfort can be stressful. Taking a hug break can be hugely calming and beneficial.

Don’t want a hug from another human? Don’t have a cat or dog, or other warm creature in your space? Turn yourself into a human burrito by wrapping yourself in a cuddly blanket or burrowing under a pile of quilts.

Or you can find a soft object — a toy, a comfy sweater, a shawl — to pat. Rhythmic touch can also be soothing and give you just enough relaxation in five minutes to help you keep going on your next task.

I have a friend who finds the low light of winter debilitating. She reminds herself to start taking vitamin D at the beginning of November. I have another friend who takes medication for their ADHD. They have reminders too.

People take medication for all kinds of reasons and sometimes we forget. Sometimes it’s stress that can throw you off your schedule, no matter how well you manage your meds already. Whether you take a supplement to deal with Seasonal Affective Disorder or a prescription to manage your anxiety, maintaining your schedule with meds can make the difference between a good day and a not-so-good day.

Taking your meds is key to your overall well-being. if you aren’t feeling like your usual self, check to see you if you have missed a dose. Don’t be hard on yourself for forgetting; just take them when you remember, and do yourself the kindness of creating a reminder system. Be well, stay well.