Hey Team,
In the process of considering, developing, planning, and working on your new practices, you have probably (DEFINITELY!) noticed that some parts of the process are easy, some are hard, and some fall somewhere in between.
And when I mention it like that, you probably thought something like, “Of course, Christine. That’s kind of obvious.” *
Ok, so that brings to me to a question:
If we all know that, in the abstract, some parts of any given practice will feel easy, some parts will feel hard, and some will feel somewhere in between, why do so many of us default to dismissing our efforts when it comes to the easy tasks, blaming ourselves when we struggle with the hard tasks, and barely noticing how much work we put into most of the tasks?
You see, the easy tasks still take work even if that work is familiar, enjoyable, straightforward, or quick. We often find tasks easy because they fall within our existing skillset, because we have had a lot of practice at that sort of thing, or because they are the kind of task we enjoy. That doesn’t mean we should dismiss the effort involved.
In fact, we should make sure to take the time to celebrate that effort, to notice how we built, shaped, or chose to apply the skills that made it feel easy. We should notice how much we rock for being able to do those tasks with ease.
When it comes to the hard tasks, we can often default to assuming something is wrong with us, that we aren’t trying hard enough, while not even noticing that we are in the process of figuring out how to do this thing. We may even start dredging up past examples of things we were unable to do just because…wait, why on earth do we do that to ourselves? Does our brain think that is helping us somehow? Brains can be such jerks!
Sometimes tasks are hard because we don’t have the skills yet, sometimes they are hard because we don’t understand them or because we need a different system, sometimes they feel hard because they involve stuff we don’t enjoy doing, and sometimes tasks are just inherently hard.
It’s ok to have to put a lot of effort into something, it’s ok to need help, it’s ok to have to make adjustments or to have to work up to being able to complete a task or learn a practice. It’s ok to struggle more than someone else who is trying this same task (they probably struggle with something else that you find easy.)
Even amidst all of those struggles, even though the task feels SO hard, we still rock. Even if it takes us many, many tries, all of our efforts matter. They all count. They are part of the process of completing that task.
Our struggles don’t say anything negative about us, they speak to our persistence, our tenacity, our willingness to do the work. Those qualities are a great demonstration of how much we rock.
And, when it comes to the routine tasks that aren’t easy but aren’t hard?
We rock for doing those, too. I mean, think about it – trudging our way through tasks that don’t have an immediate payoff like an easy one does and that don’t provide the interesting challenge of an hard task? We should give ourselves extra credit for those things.
Besides, even though a given task FEELS easy, hard, or routine, it still requires effort. Our feelings about it may change our perception of the work but it doesn’t change the fact that there is work involved.
Reminding ourselves to notice the work, to commend ourselves for doing it, to accept our gold star for our efforts, can help us to see how far we have come, to stick with our practices, and to pay attention to how awesome we are for finding ways to move toward the lives we want.
So, Team, whether today’s tasks are easy, hard, or routine, I hope you will take the time to celebrate your efforts and remember how much you rock.
Here are today’s gold stars in honour of your efforts to move toward the life you want AND in honour of your efforts to notice how much you rock.
Be kind to yourself out there!
Go Team Us!
*Your tone and degree of snarkiness probably varied but that’s your business. Luckily, I am not cursed with the ability to read people’s thoughts. Can you even imagine what a burden that would be? How would you ever rest?
