Hey Team,
We all know that consistency (however you define it) is important for building habits.
And we know that it takes a while to form a habit.
And that it takes a while to see results from your work (that’s part of the reason I keep asking you to celebrate your efforts instead!)
And we know that some days you just don’t feel like doing the thing but that it can be useful to try doing it anyway.
But there is something else you know that could be relevant to your habit building process:
IT’S OK TO CHANGE YOUR MIND
Yep!
It’s ok to change your mind about your goal/habit/practice.
It’s ok to change your mind about the habits related to that goal/habit/practice.
It’s ok to change your mind about the tasks that will build towards that goal/habit/practice.
It’s ok to change your mind about any and all parts of your plan for today, for this week, for this month, for this year.
When you started this process two weeks ago, you had certain ideas about how this was going to go, how this was going to feel, and about how important this would be to you.
And you may already know that those ideas aren’t panning out.
You may already know that this goal, this habit, these tasks are not something you want to pursue.
So, I want to make sure you give yourself permission to change your mind.
It’s OK to stop following your first idea (or set of ideas) and try something else.
If you aren’t finding the tasks helpful, useful, or enjoyable, you don’t need to spend any more time doing something that isn’t leading you where you want to go.
If you aren’t all that interested in reaching that particular goal anymore, then you don’t need to keep moving towards a place you no longer want to go.
Please don’t stick with a plan because you once thought it was a good idea.*
If you’re anything like me, your next question is probably going to be of the, “How can I tell the difference between ‘just not into it today’ and ‘this isn’t for me’?” variety.
And here’s the answer I usually give myself:
Pretend that you have already changed your mind and now you are free to choose a different goal and/or never do that task again.
Do you feel relieved? If so, changing your mind is probably the right answer.
I know it won’t always be that straightforward. You may have to give it a lot of thought. You may need to give yourself a break from your efforts towards your goal and see how it feels. Or, oddly enough, you may need to dig in a bit harder for a fixed period of time and see if that helps you feel more connected to your goal.
It can be challenging to figure these things out but, as someone who used to agonize over changing her mind about any goal she had said aloud to other people, I really wanted you to free yourself from that nonsense.
Your goals are there to serve you.
They are supposed to be helping you move towards the life you want.
They are not supposed to be self-perpetuating.
There is no point in doing them just because you said you would – especially if they no longer have the same meaning for you.
If your interest in your goal has momentarily waned, you may just need a little boost of motivation, some way to renew your interest.
But if you are totally over it, if that goal has lost its meaning entirely, please know that it is ok to change your mind.
In fact, I heartily encourage it.
Two weeks may not be enough time to know if our efforts are paying off but it is definitely enough time to know if we hate this project and that we do not want to continue.
If you feel that way, feel free to ditch this goal and try something that makes you much happier.
And, as always, here is your gold star for your efforts today, whether those efforts are directed towards a goal, towards deciding whether you still want to pursue this goal, or towards something else that contributes to your fitness, health, or well-being.
Be kind to yourself out there!
Go Team Us!
* As I was writing this I was reminded of a quote, “Don’t cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.” (Aubrey de Graf) which is sort of an encapsulation of the Sunk Cost Fallacy and something I need to remind myself of on the regular.
