advice · holiday fitness · holidays · meditation · season transitions · self care · yoga

Making Space 2022: Day 2

No matter what you have ahead of you this month, things probably feel like they are about to ramp up but they haven’t quite gotten hectic yet. That makes this an excellent time to put a few things in place for future you.

In 2020, Martha was reminding us that staying hydrated makes a huge difference in how we feel. And when we’re busy, we want to make sure to do anything we can think of that will tip the balance towards us feeling a bit better.

So, with that in mind, what else might keep us feeling a bit better?

What other small things can you do for your future self? You know, the one who might be a bit more frazzled that you are now.

Are there tasks that tend to build up over the month that you can do a little bit at time starting now??

Is there something that you often run out when things get busy but that you could pick up now? Like scotch tape, sugar, or soap – to name just a few things I have had to dash out and get at inconvenient times.

Can you block off some downtime later in the month? This could come in handy when you are invited to something that you don’t really have the capacity for, you can tell them that you are already booked that night!

Speaking of small things you can do for your future self, here are two videos of neck stretches that can really reduce the tension you carry in that area. Reducing that tightness could be just the right way to prevent a future headache.

Whatever you choose to do today, I wish you ease. I hope you can find your own way to keep stress at a minimum and be kind to yourself in the process..

A Yoga with Adriene ‘silent’ video called Yoga for Daily Neck Relief. This video has only music and no verbal cues. The still image is a black and white photo of Adriene with her hair pulled back in a lace band and low ponytail. She is looking to her right.

I enjoy the video above but since Adriene isn’t giving verbal cues, it might not be useful for everyone. Sooo, I have included the video below (another favourite of mine), that includes clear verbal cues.

A video from Mark Wildman called ‘A 3 Minute Neck Drill That Will Change Your Life’ – I’m not sure if it is life changing but it sure is helpful! The still image is two photos of Wildman sitting on a set of steps in a gym. In the first he is extending his neck forward so his face is closest to the camera. In the second he is pulling his chin backwards to extend the muscles in the back of his neck. He has his hands laid over one another on his chest.



Sidenote: As I mention in this 2018 post called Cause and Effect, Effect and Cause I have realized that while anxiety and stress can cause me to have a tight neck, the opposite is also true. If my neck is tight for some physical reason, my brain goes into overdrive because it assumes I am anxious. And, of course, with enough poking around, my brain will always find something to be anxious about. That anxiety makes my neck tighter…you get the picture. If that happens to you, too, these videos might be extra useful.

Not up to neck stretches today? Maybe this grounding meditation is more your speed.

A video called ‘Managing Anxious Thoughts And Stress with Mindfulness’ from the Headspace YouTube Channel. The still image has an orange background and a smiling yellow blob with its eyes closed is on the right hand side. On the left is text reading ‘Lost in Thought? Try Grounding.’

About Making Space 2022

About Making Space 2022

In December 2020, Fit is a Feminist Issue blogger Martha created a tradition – a series of reminder posts to take good care of ourselves during this last month of the year when it is far too easy to get swept up in your to do list, no matter what you are celebrating or not celebrating. Last year, it was my turn and after an introductory Go Team post called Give Yourself Some Space, I created a series of reminders called ‘Making Space‘ that offered a suggested short exercise video and a suggested meditation in case you needed an easy way to find space for yourself in your schedule.

For 2022, I’ll be doing the same thing but I’ll also be including a link to Martha’s post from the same date in 2020 and I’ll offer a few extra ideas for relaxation, creativity, and self-kindness here and there.

These posts are not about insisting that you do more, more, more during this busy season. Instead, I want to encourage you to remember that there IS a *YOU* who is doing all of the things and you are worth taking good care of.

Perhaps the things I suggest aren’t what you need in the moment. That’s totally ok. Perhaps you can use something else to create some space, something that will help you feel more relaxed or more in charge of your day.

fitness

That Don’t Impress Me Much

Content warning: this blog post touches on aspects of diet culture.

In “FITNESS”, meaning the “business of fitness”, we are inundated with messages, visual or spoken, about what it means to be be fit. We are all familiar with “fitspo”, “before and after” (cringe), hyper masculinity, cut abs, silly phrases such as “strong is the new skinny”. We have talked about these things in various ways, and often, on this blog. It’s probably one of the reasons I was initially drawn to this blog, years ago, before I became one of the bloggers. It felt like a place I could relate to, as a woman in her late 30s/early 40s (the blog is 10 years old this year so it’s easy for me calculate when I must have discovered it) who worked out regularly and never saw myself represented in those messages and images. Those messages and images didn’t describe the myriad of benefits that I was deriving from fitness that had nothing to do with how I looked. Those other benefits (confidence, stress relief, anxiety control, maintaining healthy blood sugar, to name a few) were what kept me coming back several times a week.

Photo (courtesy of Unsplash) of a weight rake holding rows of dumbells. In the background is a white woman with blond hair in a ponytail. She is hinged forward and appears to be working on her dumbbell rows. Hopefully, she is feeling the benefits that last - power, stress relief, fun and more.

Photo (courtesy of Unsplash) of a weight rake holding rows of dumbells. In the background is a white woman with blond hair in a ponytail. She is hinged forward and appears to be working on her dumbbell rows. Hopefully, she is feeling the benefits that last – power, stress relief, fun and more.

This messaging still surrounds us. Thankfully, there are more voices speaking out about the “everyday” benefits of fitness. We see various shapes, genders, ages and abilities, represented in FITNESS. What hasn’t gone away and what I continue to see frequently is “fitspo masked as wellness”. What I see in abundance is people who appear to know that it’s not helpful to talk about losing weight in conjunction with fitness and they know many people do not want to associate traditional notions of beauty with fitness. Whether consciously or not, they mask these “incentives” in other words and visuals, in messages about wellness. Some may talk about their early experiences with fitness where they were preyed on and convinced they had to be skinnier than they already were (and to be sure, they were conventionally thin). They developed unhealthy diets to achieve these unnatural states. They bought into a hyper glam, hyper feminine form of fitness for women. Once those notions stopped working for them or they became unhealthy because of them, they discovered all the other reasons for fitness that many of us discover early on. They now see the benefits of strength training and cardiovascular health that I mentioned earlier. They feel stronger, body and mind. Their diets may be less restrictive than they once were. But not by much. Discovering the benefits of strength training is great. But they talk about their experiences as if they have completely changed despite it being clear they have not. They are still hyper glam. They are still making their bodies smaller. People are free to do all these things that fit their own needs. But, where I find it frustrating, is where they talk about changing and not subscribing to diet culture when it’s clear that they do. They give advice about their “nutrition” regimen as if it is not restrictive. They provide advice about their lifestyle and promote practitioners who they frequent. They make it sound as if they do not believe in one way to be fit or one way to look. But they do. They may not recognize it but they are still subscribing to all these things. Not to mention that often the suggestions they offer are not attainable to many people because of costs, both of time and money. And many of these people tout their ideas because they believe they are qualified when they are not. I would argue (having taken a couple of these courses myself) that taking a holistic nutrition course or personal training certification that touched on nutrition does not make one qualified to provide advice. Many of us fall into the trap of “this worked for me and so it will probably work with you”.

I fully subscribe to embracing fitness in a way that works for you. I have made fitness a part of my regular schedule for more than 20 years and I can talk ad nauseam about all the ways I benefit from it. I just wish people who believe in fitness just talked about that. Why they love it. How they enjoy it. Ways to enjoy it if you don’t. But, I would love it if people kept their own evolutionary stories relating to diet and beauty out of it. Most people, even if they are trained in fitness, etc., do not fully understand their role in perpetuating diet culture and unrealistic beauty standards. It would be great to keep nutrition and beauty ideals out of the gym and fitness world. At least, stop making “inspiring” messages about them. Especially if they are influencing people because of their fitness expertise.

Picture of smoothie bowl. Appears to be some type of berry smoothie. It has a bit of pineapple, raspberries, blueberries, granola and kiwi, encircling the bowl. It's sitting on a light wood cutting board. There is a glass with a spoon in it that appears to contain some sort of light green protein drink. You may hear about a lot of these types of options within fitness circles, particularly if they contain protein. They can be delicious. But not necessarily related to your workout. Courtesy of Unsplash.

Picture of smoothie bowl. Appears to be some type of berry smoothie. It has a bit of pineapple, raspberries, blueberries, granola and kiwi, encircling the bowl. It’s sitting on a light wood cutting board. There is a glass with a spoon in it that appears to contain some sort of light green protein drink. You may hear about a lot of these types of options within fitness circles, particularly if they contain protein. They can be delicious. But not necessarily related to your workout. Courtesy of Unsplash.

“Falling out of love with diet culture” is great. In order for a message to be inspiring, it needs to sound authentic. If it is not well thought out and not adequately self-reflective, it won’t be very inspiring. And, it won’t impress me much.

Nicole P. loves to workout for energy, clarity, feelings of power and stress relief. She loves food and has her own thoughts about nutrition, but would prefer the fitness and wellness industry were not so commingled with fitness.

Nicole P. loves to workout for energy, clarity, feelings of power and stress relief. She loves food and has her own thoughts about nutrition, but would prefer the fitness and wellness industry were not so commingled with fitness.

holiday fitness · holidays · meditation · yoga

Making Space 2022: Day 1

In December 2020, Fit is a Feminist Issue blogger Martha created a tradition – a series of reminder posts to take good care of ourselves during this last month of the year when it is far too easy to get swept up in your to do list, no matter what you are celebrating or not celebrating. Last year, it was my turn and after an introductory Go Team post called Give Yourself Some Space, I created a series of reminders called ‘Making Space‘ that offered a suggested short exercise video and a suggested meditation in case you needed an easy way to find space for yourself in your schedule.

For 2022, I’ll be doing the same thing but I’ll also be including a link to Martha’s post from the same date in 2020 and I’ll offer a few extra ideas for relaxation, creativity, and self-kindness here and there.

These posts are not about insisting that you do more, more, more during this busy season. Instead, I want to encourage you to remember that there IS a *YOU* who is doing all of the things and you are worth taking good care of.

Perhaps the things I suggest aren’t what you need in the moment. That’s totally ok. Perhaps you can use something else to create some space, something that will help you feel more relaxed or more in charge of your day.

On December 1, 2020, Martha reminded us that we are always enough (a position that I whole-heartedly endorse) and that things don’t need to be perfect to be good. Please go check out that post for an excellent reminder of how it is ok (and encouraged!) for you to show up just as you are.

On that theme, I’m wondering if you know about Jennifer Louden’s Conditions of Enoughness? I find them an excellent tool for keeping my self-expectations in line with my actual capacity but, like most useful things, they take a bit of practice. If you feel like you are always scrambling or if you have a nagging feeling that you are falling short, the advice at the link above could be just the thing you need to give yourself a break.

If movement is something you need right now, perhaps this short series of stretches will help.

Ok, so most of us are already up for the day but feel free to lie down again for a few minutes and do these stretches with Joelle. Description: A video called Morning Stretch in Bed from the Yoga with Joelle YouTube channel. The still image shows a person with long dark hair lying on their back at the foot of a double bed using their clasped hands to draw their right knee towards their body while their left leg is extended.

If meditation is more your speed, give this a try.

A short meditation from the Great Meditations YouTube channel. The still image shows a cartoon drawing of person with long brown hair with a peaceful expression sitting cross-legged on a fluffy cloud against a blue background.

Whatever you try or whatever you do, I hope you can be kind to yourself in the process.

PS – If you are already feeling overwhelmed by the thought of the month ahead, you might find this old article of mine helpful. December is like a messy closet, here’s how to get it back on track. I’m not actually too concerned with you be ‘on track’ but I do want you to have peace of mind and I hope the suggestions in that piece can help you move in that direction.

fitness · fun · soccer

A “chill” league of their own: Part 3

This past summer over 100 women joined a social media group to be part of a new, non-aggressive rec soccer league (Part 1). Rough play might have minimized by strengthening rules or removing aspects of the game that foster competition, but those changes didn’t happen (Part 2).

Given that the league, the rules, and the teams were going to stay the same, I was a bit doubtful that a truly “chill” rec soccer game would happen. However, it’s been a few months into the season, and I have noticed three differences from seasons past.

Shared effort to support friendly play

The FB “+40 Girls Just Wanna Have Fun Soccer,” posts are public to members. This means transparency: players have seen most of what had gone on in terms of planning the league. Group members were encouraged to self-organize: find others with a similar “chill” mindset, assign themselves to teams, volunteer as captains, and make other decisions. Consequently, there has been a shared investment in the building of the league.

As I described in Part 1 and Part 2, the entire FB group was polled a few times during set up time, giving everyone say about what was important to them. For instance, folks were given a choice about whether they wanted control over their team rosters OR game times to play.

Thanks everyone! Max league to 7 teams and add more players as needed (having an odd # of teams will create a bye.)

Continue to balance teams to 14/15 players each, no matter how many teams this creats (Game times will expand beyond initial 8-8pm).

The majority of the group selected roster control over time and team number limits. This democratic and transparent approach allowed players to feel that their choices mattered.

Now during the season, teams have also gone back to saying good game after the match is over, a tradition of goodwill that has finally resumed after COVID.

Leadership and communication

The building/league manager has vocalized his support of this group. Just before the season began, a league meeting was held for all players—not just captains—to remind everyone about the rules that penalize rough play. The FB group was used to communicate these messages and invites.

League Meeting! Tuesday, October 11 at 7pm Please attend!

Cindy and the team captains have had their own private FB communication channel. Competitors off the field, yet social on social media while off the field. I am told this additional communication among the team leaders has helped to reinforce the goodwill expected from players and teams.

Lobby for female refs too

As well, the FB group members had advocated for more women officiants for the games, and now we have a female referee who I have been told makes many calls during the game. So, the league has listened and responded to some communicated requests.

Accountability and commitment to “chill”

When the league was eventually finalized at the end of the summer, with 7 full teams, it truly felt like a group effort. And it was cause for celebration.

We did it! Way to go ladies! Thank you to all who contributed.

At the same time, Cindy, the group and chill league’s originator, encouraged everyone to continue to be be vigilant and accountable in regards to aggressive behaviour on the pitch. For example, she has encouraged us to take immediate action if play seems too rough:

I know we can't make this league perfect (100%) non-aggresive, but we can surely try. I say we all look out for each other and admit when we've gone too far or defend another player from an aggressive attack. And if all that fails, the whole team boycots the rest of the game and walks off the field.

So far, I have seen some apologizing for rough play when it occasionally happens. Refusing to play is probably a tough decision for a team to make in the middle of the game, and something I haven’t seen so far.

What’s next for the chill league

I admit I was in the minority on the polls, as I assumed that the game itself needed to change to reduce aggression. But maybe a soccer community borne of a shared “will to chill” is enough for us. I hope that fun and friendliness is what continues throughout our season.

I want to leave the last words of this post series to Cindy, who started it all:

“The only thing I wanted to gain from this was to bring women together again, in a sport that so many of us love, but have felt threatened by those that think there is something to gain from being overly aggressive at the age of 40+.
I have been injured, and I know others who have been injured too. I was going to stop playing, but really didn't want to.
I love the community that is being created in the group, even just by the teams all having a chance to speak with one another, off the pitch.”