A recent CTV article was very excited about a new Disney short called Reflect, about a young ballet dancer named Bianca, and its body positivity message. As the resident fat ballerina on this blog, I had to watch it.
Hilary Bradfield, the creator, says “I feel like I’m a body positive person in principle, but when it’s on a personal level, it’s a lot harder to be body positive. I feel this deeply: despite repeated self-talk, I sometimes hate how I look.
It’s so short that the introduction by the creator was almost as long as the film itself so I watched it several times. I wanted to love it. The animation itself was well-done. It had the kind of uplifting Disney “girl overcomes barriers and has a happy ending” story that makes me smile.
But somehow it didn’t, quite. Was it too short to engage me? Too unrealistic? I think it was the latter, which is deeply weird; it’s Disney – of course it’s unrealistic!
Bianca was too small/young to be dancing en pointe (kids should be at least 12 or so to prevent permanent damage to growing bones). Triple pirouettes are hard. And she was so round compared to the stick figure dancers in her class! Those other kids would not have been able to stand in real life, let alone dance.
In some ways, I wanted Bianca to do more ordinary things and be happy, and her classmates and teacher to at least notice her. I know that wouldn’t have been as much of a Disney story that satisfies kids.
But maybe it would have resonated more with adult fat ballerina me who has already learned not to notice anything in the mirror except posture and position. The fat ballerina who will never be any good dancer, but who loves dancing anyway.
Sorry – no pictures of Disney’s Bianca, so you get me in a black leotard, at the end of a successful single pirouette. I have a huge smile.
I hear that others love Reflect and see themselves in Bianca. I am curious about what you think. Am I putting too much onto the shoulders of this young dancer to be a role model but also somewhat ordinary? What is the right balance of expectations for a plus sized or otherwise different person with talent?
Hi everyone– I’ve been thinking more about sitting lately because I’ve a) driven a good bit the past two days; and b) went to a conference where sitting is what almost everyone is doing almost all day. Luckily I’ve been able to combine my sitting (both in car and conference room) with plenty of walking in between long sits.
But speaking of long sits, meditation presents an altogether different challenge on the sitter. You have to get comfortable, but in a way that is supportive, non-achy and non-drowsiness-provoking for maybe up to an hour (longer for some). Even sitting upright and not moving for 10–15 minutes can prove difficult. Feet fall asleep, necks twinge, calves cramp, and the imperative to move is strong. Not that moving to adjust position is a bad thing. It’s just (in my experience) that a quiet body is more conducive to a quiet mind.
I wrote this post back in 2020 (remember 2020? Never mind) about ways people sit in meditation. Of course sitting isn’t required at all– standing, lying down, walking– all of these are ways to comport one’s body while meditating. But I hope you like these options if you’re looking for a sitting posture that might work for you.
I just started reading psychologist Dr. Julie Smith‘s book Why Has Nobody Told me this before? Everyday Tools for Life’s Ups and Downs and I’m really enjoying it. I’m not finished yet, so I can’t do a full review but I do really like her style. The book is full of low-key but helpful reminders that we can build our capacity to deal with most of our everyday challenges and that we can develop the tools to work with our emotions instead of trying to fight them.
Just FYI: She is very clear about the fact that while there are lots of cases in which people need long-term therapy there are also many people who just need access to tools and guidance to help them manage their own mental health and that she is addressing the latter group.
Anyway, as I was telling people about this book recently I was surprised to discover that many people have never heard of Dr. Julie. If you’re one of those people, here are a few of her YouTube shorts that are a pretty good introduction to her kind and encouraging approach. You can find more on her channel.
Enjoy!
(I’ll post a review once I’m finished the book!)
A video from Dr. Julie Smith entitled ‘This is really important.’ In the still image, Dr. Julie is seated at a wooden table and there is a pyramid of playing cards stacked in front of her.
A video from Dr. Julie Smith entitled ‘This 60 Mindset Trick Will Change Your Life’ and in the still image she is sitting a table with a coffee cup and book in front of her and there are shelves behind her.
A video from Dr. Julie Smith entitled ‘Stop Waiting To Feel Confident! Watch This. In the still she is sitting at a table and there are white shelves behind her.
It’s been 11 weeks since knee replacement surgery. There’s a lot of rehab focused movement and physio under the bridge. So much hard physio.
Some things are going very well. But at this stage the gains are slow and it can feel pretty frustrating. It’s a lot of hard work for what feels like not very much improvement. At the same time, I can still easily overdo it and then need to take some time to recover. Three steps forward, one step back, as they say.
But the good news is that it’s not all rehab, all the time now. Starting this week I am going to try to get my cycling fitness back for its own sake, not just because cycling helps my knee. Up until now, when riding my bike, I’ve turned Zwift on but I haven’t watched. I haven’t paid much attention at all to the metrics. Watts per kilo? Who knows? Speed? Ditto. I note the distance when I hit save but I’ve been trying not to look really. Instead, I’ve been running Zwift but watching Netflix. (That’s not entirely true. Since I have the companion app open on my phone I have noted and appreciated all of your ride-ons!)
From the “count the workouts” group here’s what my Zwift entries have looked like:
This week I’ve decided to Zwift for real again, paying attention to numbers, as I begin my climb back to bike fitness. Obviously I’ll need to change my FTP to something closer to my current reality.
What’s FTP? “FTP, or Functional Threshold Power, is the wattage you can stay below and sustain for longer durations, while going above it causes fatigue to occur very quickly. It is one of the key training metrics used in cycling, and Zwift has built-in tests to measure it.” See here for more.
I’ve also changed my weekly distance goal from 150 km a week on Zwift to 50 km. Gradually I will build back up.
Here’s one of the tiny rides that will be my starting point. So tiny! So slow! But lots of room to build and grow.
I’m also doing this in the gym with strength training. Yes, there’s some rehab there too. But not all and my focus isn’t just recovery, it’s rebuilding for its own sake. Meg, the world’s best personal trainer, is there to help once a week.
What’s my overall movement plan right now?
I’m doing physio every day, twice a week in the clinic at Defy Physiotherapy with the wonderful knee fixer upper Estee.
On the weekends, once or twice I’m doing Aquafit at Movati.
I do strength training at the gym twice a week, once with Meg and once solo.
I’m back to walking Cheddar the dog, the yellow blur in all the cycling photos above.
And I’m Zwifting three or four times a week.
Cheddar, Chase, and Charlie hoping it’s dog walk time not Zwift time
It’s not quite from scratch but I do have a long way to climb back to where I was, both on the strength side and the bike fitness side. Everyone reassures me that having been there before my return will be easier than if I’d never done it.
It’s work but it’s also nice to have not everything, all the time be about knee rehab.
As you probably know from my previous posts, especially these ones about World Kindness Day 2021 (about kindness to others) and World Kindness Day 2020 (about self-kindness), I am a kindness cheerleader.
I just want people to be kinder to themselves and each other. I want society as a whole to be kinder to its individual members. I want governments to be kinder to their citizens. I just want more kindness in the world.
Like Brooke Jones, VP for the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation says in her blog post, I want us all to Make Kindness The Norm.
(For some reason, I can’t insert a caption under the image below. The image is from the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation and here is the image description: A red heart and text reading ‘Believe there is good in the world’ with a weathered wooden background. most of the text is black but some of the letters are white so an alternate message of ‘Be the Good’ can also be read. At the bottom of the image is text reading ‘Random Acts of Kindness Foundation’ )
I know I am not alone in my cheerleading mission and in my belief that kindness matters but I also know that there are a lot of terrible things going on in the world. It’s hard to maintain hope and it’s hard to feel that your small, day-to-day kindnesses matter.
That’s why I was so happy to find this video by John Green a few weeks ago because he does a terrific job of summing up a lot of things that I haven’t been able to express succinctly. He’s not talking about kindness directly, he’s arguing for meaning and against nihilism, but his conclusions apply to kindness, too. I especially like his point about how the big picture may be a challenging one but that we don’t live in the big picture, we live in the day-to-day. And in the day-to-day, all of those little connections (or, one could say, kindnesses 😉 ) matter.
I can add a caption here so I will – This is a video from the Vlog Brothers YouTube channel. It’s entitled ‘Against Nihilism’ and the still image features John Green, a white middle aged man with a beard and glasses sitting in his home office. He is facing the camera and he has an intense expression on his face which reflects his passion for the subject.
So, even if there are a lot of terrible things going on in the world, it’s still worth it to be kind, to seek kindness, and to encourage kindness. It okay to do it because it helps you feel good, because it helps the people you are kind to feel good, or because it just seems like the right thing to do.
(Hmm, I can’t add a caption to the photo below either but it is another photo from the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation. This image shows a small child with brown skin and curly hair sitting in a white chair. They’re wearing enormous glasses and smiling big enough that their eyes have closed to make room for their grin. They’re wearing yellow pants, suspenders and a blue shirt that reads ‘I’ve got nothing but love for you.’ The text to their left reads ‘The world is full of kind people…If you can’t find one, be one.)
And since being kind, as the video below suggests, is supposed to help reduce stress and bring you ease, there’s no reason not to keep trying it.
Again, I can add a caption to this video even though I couldn’t add one to the images. Anyway, this is an animated YouTube video from the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation entitled ‘The Science of Kindness’ and the still image shows a person with light brown skin with their long hair up in a bun on top of their head. They are wearing white pants and a grey long sleeved shirt and their hands are behind their back. They have a speech balloon with a heart in it above their head.
I’ve got lots of links in my previous World Kindness Day posts about how to be kind to yourself and others so I’ll just include two more links here:
And since I don’t know how much time or energy you have today, I’m just going to link to my results from a YouTube search for Kindness Meditation so, if you are inclined to meditate, you can have an easy way to find one to try today.
And, my friends, as always, be kind to yourself about the whole thing – life, the universe, and everything – if you aren’t up to putting kindness out into the world today then turn that kindness inward and give yourself a break. You are doing the best you can with the resources you have. 💚
I’ve been thinking and writing a bunch about streaks, in particular about meditation. So have a bunch of our bloggers. I mean, we at FIFI tend to pay attention to what we are doing and also how often we are doing it. In October, I ended up missing two meditation days (not in succession) in one week. That broke my almost-150-day streak.
Oh no! This woman gets me. Photo by Diana Polekhina on Unsplash.
Okay, time to start on over again. Yes, this has happened before, and will happen again. It’s not about the numbers, it’s about the moment. (Feel free to insert more platitudes here). But, when I looked at my milestones on Ten Percent Happier (yes, of course they keep track), I saw this:
Lots of micro-streaks here!Seeing a drop-off at 20 days.Now it’s getting harder.
But wait, there’s more.
60 days in a row is hard, but 80 is harder.I’ve made triple digits only once.
There’s one more streak photo to show you:
Yes, 200 days! Did it once.
Here’s what I’m seeing from all this: it may be hard to sit 200+ days in a row, but it’s really easy to sit 3 days in a row. After all, I’ve personally done it 37 times! Honestly, this gestalt shift has made me very happy– it means (to me) that I know how to start and restart at something I want to do, but am not perfect or flawless at. Yay! This bodes well for the other things in my life I’d like to do more often and more consistently.
While I’ve got you here, let me say that I’m at 172 workouts in 2022, That means 50 to go. I can do it!
And it bodes well for you too, dear readers. I’m just a girl, standing in front of an app, asking it to help her love whatever activity it’s promoting. Who knew counting would be so much fun?
Readers, how do you feel about short-repeated streaks? Do you take them in stride? I’d like to know what you think.
“The 3 Good Things is all about taking time once a day to write down three good things that happened today. Studies have shown this simple exercise, practiced daily, leads to higher satisfaction and sense of fulfillment.”
I’ve been combating November blues and trying to focus on the positive is part of that. Everyday I’ve been posting on Facebook and Twitter (about to rethink the latter, lol) about the things that each day make me grateful, happy to be alive.
For example, Thursday it was a beautiful sunny morning with very cool clouds.
Beautiful morning sky
For this blog post though, I’m going to think about the week rather than the day and instead of one thing, I’m going to look for three. And since it’s fit and feminist related in going to focus on my recovery from knee replacement surgery.
What’s my three good fit feminist things for the week?
Good thing #1: I was able to walk in our Remembrance Day procession and watch the ceremony at the University of Guelph. Yes, I walked with a cane. Yes, I was slow. But unlike last year I was able to participate.
Poppies
Good thing #2: Sarah and I got see to see Grace Petrie and Ben Moss in concert at the Dakota Tavern this week. I loved a show that started at 7 and ended by 930. I love live music and I felt like myself again being out and doing things in the world. We saw lots of friends the we hadn’t seen since before the pandemic began. Fun times.
Good Thing #3: Cheddar and I have been out walking again, not just around the block. It feels so good to be moving again. If dogs can be grateful, Cheddar is grateful too.
by Stacy T. Sims with Selene Yeager. This is the follow-up book to Sims Roar, and focuses specifically on physically active women approaching or in menopause. I was interested in this book after I saw numerous women in triathlete and cycling groups singing its praises. Before I go further into the review I want to note that I found the book covertly fat-phobic and would not recommend it to anyone with disordered eating (or in recovery) or to anyone who just generally doesn’t want to be told repeatedly that maintaining or improving body composition is a key reason to remain active. I’d also add that the book discusses only women, and does not recognize that some people who menstruate/experience menopause do not identify as women.
Part One of the book offers a detailed overview of menopause. What it is, what it does within the body, and the possible impacts it may have on people experiencing perimenopause and menopause. I found chapter 3, focusing on hormones and symptoms, especially useful for breaking the whole process down into simple language and explanations.
Part Two of the book moves on to performance. It is probably useful to note here that this section is geared toward athletes. While this includes recreational athletes it does not feel as inclusive of folks who are regularly active but not “athletes.” There is no definition of the difference between those two levels of activity, but my personal sense is this book is not written for someone who spends their days chasing kids around a playground or someone who does a medium-intensity 30 minute workout a few times a week. The schedule templates and descriptions are more in line with someone who is training for an event, who works out 6-7 days per week, often with an endurance (multi-hour) session or race included. Though you would not discern it from the title “Next Level: Your Guide to Kicking Ass, Feeling Great, and Crushing Goals Through Menopause and Beyond” this book is not written for an inactive or low-activity person.
Chapters 5, 6, and 7 focus on the specific types of activity Sims recommends: HIIT, SIT, lifting “heavy shit,” and pylometrics and jumps. She gives an overview of different high-intensity interval training (HIIT) and sprint interval training (SIT) structures (tabata, hill sprints, 20/10, 40/20, etc). Here’s where the language about “performance-boosting body composition changes” comes back up, along with Sims belief that HIIT and SIT strengthens and increases amount of energy-producing mitochondria, improves insulin sensitivity and lowers fasting blood sugar levels, triggers anti-inflammatory response when done regularly, stimulates brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF) keeping gray matter healthy and improving cognition and working memory. Sims is a big believer in “lifting heavy sh*t,” citing benefits in strength building, increased metabolic rate (waking up more muscle fibers which requires a lot of energy to exist), improved posture and stability, stronger bones, better blood pressure control, maintenance of healthy body composition (defined as maintaining lean muscle, reducing fat gain), and fewer sick days (improves immunity). She also includes tips for lifting heavy sh*t, including warm-up moves and basic heavy lifts. Finally, Sims discusses information about jumps and plyometric moves, citing research that supports plyometrics being beneficial for improved muscular strength, bone health, body composition, posture, and physical performance. This chapter also includes a guide to these movements, working in phases from beginner through intermediate levels.
The next 10 chapters focus on aspects that can impact athletic performance, such as gut health and microbiome balance, diets and proper nutrition fueling, nutrition timing, hydration, sleep and recovery, stability and core strength, bone strength, exercise scheduling, and supplements. Many chapters include descriptions of athletes Sims has coached during the menopause transition, offering a description of the concerns of each athlete and the training (including each of the above elements) plan Sims developed for the athlete, and the outcome of each case.
CW: body weights discussed here — Throughout the book Sims offers examples using body weight as a guide (ex: macro calculations for a woman weighing xxx lbs.) These numbers are often quite low, as are the body weights of the athletes Sims describes in her case study sections. The average woman in the U.S. weighs 170 lbs, but the women Sims writes about or uses for sample information weigh significantly less than that. Further, there is little discussion about how to manage macros for larger athletes, which may feel daunting to the many athletes at or above the “average” range. Lastly, I would note here that Sims uses some calculations that include BMI without further discussion about the problematic development and history of the BMI (although she does note that the BMI is less useful for some athletes and that there may be more useful tests.)
The final chapter offers different templates for putting all of this information into practice, including macro targets, training plans, and symptom tracking.
Final thoughts: I found the book to be informative in many areas, and I’m glad I read it. That being said, I don’t see a lot of implementation in my future, although I plan to talk to my trainer about lifting more heavy sh*t. As someone who Sims would likely categorize as active but not an athlete I’m much more focused on functional fitness (like getting my 70 lbs dog in/out of the hatchback), but I’d gladly take some relief from perimenopause symptoms, some of which are hitting me hard. I think Sims falls down in two areas in this book, the first (fat-phobia and body weight) I’ve already covered. The second is Sims reliance on relatively small studies to strengthen her claims, which she (accurately!) says identifies a lack of research done with people who menstruate/experience menopause. Where I think Sims shines in this book is her ease in breaking down medical/scientific terminology into layperson terms, and in her encouragement to start small/slow and work up to the plans she includes here. This type of staggered implementation may help readers avoid overwhelm and injury.
Amy Smith is a professor of Media & Communication and a communication consultant who lives north of Boston. Her research interests include gender communication and community building. Amy spends her movement time riding the basement bicycle to nowhere, walking her two dogs, and waiting for it to get warm enough for outdoor swimming in New England.
There are a few typical ways to deal with an aggressive player in women’s recreational league soccer games: 1. confront the player (not very common), 2. avoid the player (somewhat common), or 3. complain about the player after the game (very common).
This summer, Cindy found a new way to address rough soccer play. She started an open Facebook (FB) group called “Womens’ 40+ Just Wanna Have Fun, BMO Soccer.” The call for the fall season made this group’s raisond’être clear:
“We need at least 60 women so we can create a CHILL soccer league. One where we are not out to kill each other. We will have very little person-to-person contact. If you are an aggressive player WE DO NOT WANT YOU.”
I was intrigued by this group because in the past I found it hard to distinguish normal from aggressive play. When I first started playing a few years ago, I mistakenly equated aggressiveness with skillfulness. But Cindy emphasized in the group that seasoned players can also be “chill”:
“Most of us have been playing for a number of years, but are tired of the players that seem to be out to kill. We want to just have a chance to get away from our daily routine, get some exercise, and socialize with others.”
If the regular rec divisional structure and rules weren’t sufficiently discouraging aggressive play, and the typical ways of players dealing with each other weren’t working to minimize it, then why not self-organize a new division to eliminate rough play altogether?
The initial proposed plan involved not only having a shared understanding that the entire division would be “chill” but also enforcing a zero tolerance for aggression policy and thus stricter rules of play:
“You will be benched if you are deemed playing aggressively. You will be warned once, and then kicked out of the league without any fees being refunded. We do know the difference between skilled and aggression.”
Another idea surfaced in the FB group to reduce aggression: eliminate scoring and statistics. Without wins and losses, there would be no league-tabling and therefore less competitiveness. A third suggestion was made for the division to do away with season-long teams altogether. No “us vs them” mentality, no fuel for aggressive play.
Cindy gave the choice to the then 60+ group members through a poll vote:
“Option 1. I want to play in a non-aggressive league without scores, stats, etc.
Option 2. I want to play in a typical league, just not with anyone aggressive.”
Which option would the rec women’s soccer FB group choose for a “chill” soccer league? Stay tuned for Part 2!
Meet some of my friends, who do cool martial arts: Queen Kaylah, Sir Aelfwyn, and Baronesses Jocea and Kersteken.
Kaylah and Aelfwyn are heavy weapons fighters, and both have been recognized as knights for their fighting prowess. Aelfwyn has been fighting since 1991. She was a “bookworm couch potato” before that.
Sir Aelfwyn, holding a shield with three boars, fights Baron Kohlbjorn. Both combatants are wearing red tunics and helmets, and fighting with rattan swords.
Kaylah is also Queen by right of arms, which means she fought and won Crown Tournament, a semi-annual event for the Kingdom of Ealdormere (which is roughly the province of Ontario).
Kaylah as been fighting since she was 18, and went on her first date with Trumbrand, who is now her husband. She fell in love with the sport immediately. She is now 55. More recently, she took up fencing.
Jocea and Kersteken are also fencers. Jocea says her first love is the heavy weapons fighting she first took up about 25 years ago, but for the past five years she has been fencing because it doesn’t hurt her aging body as much.
Jocea, on the right, fights Cesare on the left. Both are wearing mail shirts and protective face coverings. Jocea is holding a small buckler (a kind of shield).
Kersteken has been fencing for ten years. She tried heavy fighting but decided it wasn’t her jam. She is also a weightlifter and does yoga and cross-country skis. In additions, she is a busy nurse and mom of two teenagers. She started fighting because she was bored as virtually all her friends were also fighters. She loves it because it is the only time when she can turn off all the things in her brain and concentrate just on fighting.
Kersteken, on the left, wearing a mail shirt, inspects Hocea’s armour and weapons for safety before she begins fighting.
Ealdormere is a bit of an outlier in our club, as approximately half our fencers and 1/4 of our heavy weapons fighters are women. Both these sports are fought by all sexes, with no divisions by age, size or gender. The statistics in other kingdoms are much lower. We also have more royal women by right of arms: one princess from the days before we were an independent kingdom, and two queens.
Getting into fighting can be hard if you don’t have the right supports. Role models are huge, of course, but so is having the right equipment. Early patterns for armour were not adapted for women’s body shapes (breasts, shorter torsos, etc).
Technique matters too. Kaylah says she can’t rely on her height or weight to compensate for a less-than-perfect shot. The traditional teaching comes from long established techniques typically developed by and for large men who, with abundant upper body strength, didn’t need to rely as much on form to produce the striking power necessary. Smaller stature fighters, typically women, need to use whole body mechanics to develop the same power, a requirement that can easily be missed by coaches who have never needed it themselves.
Kaylah, in the centre, holds her ground with a great sword while Sir Kellen attacks from the left. More fighters in the background wait their turn to join the field.
Aelfwyn says that where a large man can get away with maybe 40% perfect technique, she has to have 80% technique for the same result. She went on to explain that coaching techniques are improving as these sorts of issues become more mainstream, in particular crediting on-line coaching discussions that became popular during the pandemic.
Female fighters have typically been somewhat isolated, simply because they are rare in many parts of the world. On-line “coaches corner” sessions with guests including my old friend Sir Elizabeth Mortimer and a series of round tables with female knights had a very positive impact on changing coaching techniques to address the issues specific to smaller fighters and women. Many of these are available on YouTube. If you think this looks like a fun thing to try, please go take a look.
Diane Harper lives in Ottawa, also known as @Ealdormere. She has been a member of the Society for Creative Anachronism (#TheSCA @SCAsocial) for nearly 40 years. She tried fighting once, and decided she bruises far too easily. Instead, she cooks and does crafts.
