December provokes a lot of emotions for us. It’s the beginning of real, bona fide, no-getting-around-it winter (for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere). It’s a time of frantic activity:
- frantic finishing of semester for those of us students and teachers
- frantic preparing for those of us celebrating Christmas
- sometimes-frantic taking stock of the year and starting to make resolutions for the next one
I’ve been especially prone to the last type of frantic activity. I wrote a post on Seasonal adaptation: slowing down and turning inward two years ago. In it I said that, despite the craziness of the season,
In the midst of it, I feel– calm. A bit quieter than usual. Slow and deliberate. The indirect light suits me. The early dusk I find entrancing. This is a new experience and completely unexpected.
Reading these words now, I wince a little. I think they were more aspirational than actual. That is, I was shooting for this feeling:
When in fact, in December, I pretty much always have this feeling:
This December, I admit that I’m way overburdened with work, physical therapy, lots of family strife around me, unmet writing obligations, and my usual body shame/dissatisfaction that accelerates during the holiday season.
So I’m going with it. This is me, moving forward in super-messy fashion. I’m:
- doing a bunch of yoga, mostly in very small bits (7-15 mins, even)
- walking more, with the accompanying soreness of the ankle with no brace now
- sleeping 8 hours at least, because I have to in order to function
- being present for my family, trying to maintain boundaries of some sort
- accepting that my house will be super-messy and my writing obligations will have to wait and that my body is actually helping me do all these things so thank you body
Forget ethereal. I’m going for pragmatic this season.
What’s your word or attitude this December? I’d love to hear from you.