Tag: plans

To do lists
advice · challenge · fitness · goals · habits · planning

To do lists

elan.paulsonLeave a comment

If, like me, you’re a habitual maker of lists, you know how enjoyable it can be to make one. I want to tell you about the two kinds of lists I tend to make.

The first type is a detailed, four-quadrant list that is legibly handwritten in a spiral notebook. It’s a strategy I learned from leadership training years ago: draw two lines bifurcating the left and right, top and bottom of the page. Top left: IMMEDIATE to-dos. Top right: TODAY to-dos. Bottom left: TOMORROW to-dos. Bottom right: LATER THIS WEEK. Now there’s four lists! 🤩

This 4-list system has helped me triage competing demands and deadlines in a busy life schedule. As the top half got completed by the end of the day, I’d feel that little list-hit of dopamine. More satisfaction would come when tomorrow’s items were ALL scratched off and became today’s.

My second style of list is a scrawl of half-expressed ideas onto the back of a mail envelope, program flyer, or receipt. These lists get folded and stuffed into my pockets or become bookmarks, only to be discovered later, partly deciphered partly forgotten.

Over the past few months I have not had the discipline of a tidy schedule. My flâneuse-style wandering has reflected in my list-making. I tried to make a type 1 list, but items didn’t easily sort when my “today” and “tomorrow” have been so fluid. Instead, the type 2 lists catch my daily thoughts before they dissolve, little messy scraps that reveal how I am figuring out what shape my life takes next.

A handwritten list on the back of a Saje sales receipt: CAAT, 4-piece snaps, unemployment (CHECK!), City of London, MOI.
List Type 2: A handwritten list on the back of a Saje sales receipt: CAAT, 4-piece snaps, unemployment (CHECK!), City of London, MOI. What does it all mean? I hardly know myself.

Adam Grant has a WorkLife episode on procrastination where he suggests writing a to don’t list to make visible what’s might be delaying one’s progress and help get yourself out of your own way. That’s not a bad idea, especially when big life transitions mean the work of processing hard feelings, managing stress, and trying to find small wins.

So I’m giving a type 3 list a try. Moving into my next life phase, which doesn’t yet have neat time-bound quadrants, I write neatly down the centre of the page:

  • Don’t be hard on yourself.
  • Don’t fail to appreciate what you have.
  • Don’t seek certainty at the expense of your joy.
  • Don’t not trust yourself. (Double negative, but you get it.)

This third type of list has turned out to be important, not because it tells me what I need to do but because it reminds me who I want to be.

7 out of 11 for November. That’s a pass, right? (YES)
ADHD · challenge · fitness · fun · habits · self care

7 out of 11 for November. That’s a pass, right? (YES)

Christine Hennebury1 Comment

So, I started November with a reasonable plan and lots of time to get it done.

Two weeks ago, I was on track to complete most of my list.

Then I started having trouble with my arms. It’s kind of hard to describe but basically I had something going on with my shoulders that was inflaming a nerve? tendon? string? piece of spaghetti? And it caused a pain down the back of both of my arms and made my forearms ache and my wrists hurt.

I could tell by the nature of the problem that it wasn’t anything serious but it did get worse when I moved my arms too much and got better when I rested.

So, in the interest of minimizing my arm annoyances, I rested as much as possible and I dropped some things off my list for this month:

  • Try a calisthenics video
  • Continue the stretch band strength training program from October 
  • Go swimming 
  • 30 minutes on the rowing machine

Sure, this was a bit frustrating but I am proud to say that I was quite kind to myself in the process and I don’t feel at all bad about it.

And, as a result of changing my plan and increasing my rest, my arm annoyances are almost completely gone.*

The list below is what got done (or partially done) in November.

Perhaps I should only give myself partial points for partially done tasks but since I did everything I could do for each task I’m just flicking the metaphorical switch to done and giving myself the point.

After all, I am the boss of me and I get to make these decisions.

Here we go;

Partially done. I haven’t taken the day yet (I will do this in December) but I do have a good list of things to do and how to arrange to do them.

Done! Go me!

  • Do a 30 minute yin yoga video

Done! It was really hard to commit to the idea of being relatively still for so long and my brain fought me on getting started but eventually I talked myself into it. It was just as great as I hoped it would be.

  • Do at least one 10 minute meditation per week

Done! I did this once a week for the first three weeks and then switched to every day for the last 12 days of the month.

  • Find a way to elevate keyboard for a standing writing session

Dan and I are still working on this.

  • Journal while sitting on the floor once a week

Done! In fact, I journaled on the floor more often than this and watched TV on the floor and read on the floor quite a bit. This, after all, was more about spending time on the floor than about journaling.

  • Practice those three tricky TKD patterns for at least 30 minutes (total)

Partially done! Obviously, having wonky arms affected my practice in this area too.

So, I’m calling November a success, too.

Why?

Well, 7/11 is a pass, obviously.

And I did what I could with what I had.

And I pushed myself a little but respected my capacity.

And I felt good about the things I could do when I did them.

If that’s not a success, I don’t know what is!

Go me!

Now I just have to make a plan for December…

*I can only assume that my stellar attitude about change was key factor in healing as well. (Christine pats herself on the back. Metaphorically, of course.)

(In case you are wondering, the painting is the ghost of Christmas present)

fitness · health · planning · self care

Christine H says yes to Holidays but no to Holi-daze

Christine Hennebury10 Comments

For those of us who celebrate Christmas, or some Christmas-like event, or at least for those of us who end up on a different schedule between December 24 & January 1, we are currently at the time of year when the days all run together.

Routines are off kilter – meals happen at weird times, we’re eating a lot of different foods, and our sleep patterns have gone out the window.

This is when we lose all sense of time and end up in a holi-daze.

An especially dangerous thing for those of us on Team ADHD who have a tenuous grasp on the concept in the first place.

Two drawings of stick people. The one on the left is wearing a red santa hat and has the words '1st-26th Dec' above their head and the word 'Festive' as a caption below. The one on the right has a piece of cheese in their hand. The words '27th-31st Dec' above their head and the words 'Confused, Full of cheese, Unsure of the day of week.' as a caption below.
I’m more likely to be full of raisin cake than cheese but this is the feeling I mean! Image credit: Hurrah for Gin

In this odd year, that out-of-phase feeling has been recurring for most of us. The things that give shape to our year have been changed and time has been expanding and contracting around tasks/plans/activities as they mostly moved online.

I think, though, that having that out-of-phase feeling recur so often this year has made me realize (Re-realize? Possibly!) how important schedules are for my mental health.

In previous years, this week would find me with all kinds of lofty ideas about just letting the days progress in any old way, seeing what might appeal to me to do at any given time.

Text above the image reads 'Me, during that weird time between Christmas and New Years where I don't even know what day it is:' and the image is of the free-spirited character of Phoebe from the TV show 'Friends.' She is wearing a striped onesie and drinking a pink drink through a long straw while she lies on the floor with her head on a pillow. She is being asked 'Do you have a plan?' and she responds ' I don't even have a pla.' "
Phoebe, from the TV show ‘Friends’ might be able to get away with a lack of structure in her days but I cannot. Image source

I have encountered some fun days that way in the past but mostly, I end up feeling a bit scattered and let down by the end of the day.

Because, as much as the idea of spending a day drifting from task to task might have appeal, in reality, I know that I won’t drift pleasantly from task to task.

Instead, I’ll spend the whole day feeling vaguely dissatisfied and with a looming sense that I should be doing something else.

So, I create a plan for my week and then a shape for each day so my atemporal brain won’t leave me in the in-between with a feeling of frustrated sadness.

Making a loose plan for my week and then giving each day a shape makes me choose how I am going to spend my time. It helps me notice if I am trying to cram too many different things into the time that I have. And creating that shape lets me do important preparatory things like saving enough time to actually make the meals I plan to eat or to drive to the places I want to be.

And, yes, giving my days a shape does include a (fairly flexible) schedule and some rough time limits for my chosen activities.

I know to some this will sound like ‘Christine doesn’t know how to relax.’ but this approach is actually the key to my relaxation.

Khalee, a medium-sized, light-haired dog, sleeps on a blue flannel pillowcase decorated with frogs , crowns and hearts.
My dog, Khalee, does not need a schedule in order to relax. She apparently just needs to sleep on my pillow when I run downstairs for some pre-bed ginger tea.

For starters, these plans and shapes do not necessarily involve work. My plan for the week includes holiday activities, some special meals, and hanging out with people on Zoom. My shape for a given day might be to read a book for an hour after breakfast, to do some drawing for 45 minutes before lunch, and then to take a long walk at 3pm.

And having that plan, that schedule, is actually restful. It means that time won’t gallop away from me.

It means that I won’t spend the whole week figuring out when to do which activity. And I won’t spend each day continuously trying to decide if now is the ‘right’ time to read, to draw, or to head out for a walk.

And, having that plan, that shape, lets me make stress-free decisions when someone asks me if I want to do something else. If my plan is to go for a walk at 3, and someone asks me to watch a movie at 2, knowing the shape of my day means that I can more easily decide whether to change the time of my walk or to say no to the movie.*

If I know that I have enough time for the things that I really want to do, that I won’t run out of time, that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing at any given time, my brain will stop looping around ‘Now? How about now?’ and give me some ease.

And if that’s not a recipe for a holiday, I don’t know what is.

A small, green, holiday tree is sitting on a white shelf. It is decorated with gold star lights and has a gold star topper. Two points of a large cardboard star can be seen to the right side of the photo and part of a ukulele decorated with the image of a Polynesian-style statue can be seen to the right.
The gold stars on this tree celebrate my self-care efforts this holiday season.

*Perhaps, to the Neurotypical, this may look like overthinking, or as if I am making a big deal out of something simple, but for my ADHD brain, a holiday schedule is a relief. And, I thought that anyone who finds themselves in a holi-daze might borrow some of these ideas for themselves.