I bought my first road bike today. It’s shiny, light, and a little bit intimidating. I’m entering my second year of riding in a cycling club, and now I have the kind of bike that many road cyclists have.
I am working through the difference between doing cycling and being a cyclist, and what it means to step toward something before I feel entirely ready.
For example, clip-in pedals. Everyone has an opinion on them. I am already preparing to face today the well-intended male employee fitting me on my new bike who has already twice insisted—insisted—on clip-ins.
But I’m nervous about them. Two cyclists were hit by cars in my area of recently. Every time I roll to the edge of the road, there’s a flicker of fear. It’s not just about falling in traffic but feeling unseen, or worse…seen but then dismissed by drivers.
Riding a bike means having to take up road space in my city. However, I was encouraged by an awesome documentary, Breakaway Femmes (2025), which retrospectively reveals the space women had to take up to be part of the male-dominated Tour de France race during the late 80s. That film showed how cycling is about taking risks for the sport one loves. It’s about choosing to move forward, even when standing still would feel safer.
So today I am moving forward on a version of myself I’ve been imagining for a while now. And first space I must claim for myself as a cyclist is the one in my own head. So here I go.
I get it now. That intense maelstrom of emotions that come for me at 3 am. This week I realized it’s stereotypical mid-life crisis energy and I am really in it.
Shifts in parenting
My mid-twenties kids are out in the world making big choices. I remind myself I did that at their age too. I was married at 22, a parent at 25. It turned out ok but WOW it looks very different from my fifty year old perspective.
There is no shortcut around lived experience and I’m working on having a healthy detachment while figuring out what support looks like for them.
Ah yes, capitalism
My paid work is the experience of many people who are employed at mid-life. Restructuring at my company is shifting roles, responsibilities and networks. It’s uncomfortable. I don’t have a sense of normalcy.
I thought my career was on one trajectory but that has faltered. I’m disappointed and quite sad about it.
There’s no peace at home
We are renovating our kitchen. Week 4 of no sink, stove or dishwasher has definitely taken the gilde off the lilly.
A tiny kitchen with some cupboards in place. A variety of walls with paint and crack fill.
I am in a privileged spot where a mortgage and renovations are financially feasible. Our contractors are wonderful humans who really care about us and giving us an exceptional experience.
But.
Good.
Green.
Earth.
It is more disruptive and expensive than I could have imagined. It might be mostly done in 2 more weeks.
That’s a lot
So.
Ya.
No.
I’m not sleeping.
My wakefulness at 3 am from hot flashes and bathroom break turns to questions both practical and existential.
What sized drawers should that pantry have?
Has my kid who fell off a cliff in BC actually ok?
Why do I feel invisible at work?
Good thing he’s here
The anchor, and wonderful gift in my life, is my partner of 30 years. Michel and I are good and it makes things feel achievable.
We are in step on nutrition, sleep and prioritizing our health. Our family histories are full of cardiovascular risks and we are doing what we can to stack the deck in our favour.
Move it, move it
My silly little goal of cycling to work has really helped me adopt a better mindset on the road.
I’m choosing to share quippy videos with friends on my cycling commute. My watch is posting all activities on Strava.
I think it surprises people how active I am. I like to think I’m a small part in them thinking they can add more activity to their lives too. Positive peer pressure for the win!
My mileage from walking and cycling since January 1 is approaching 800 km. That is triple my usual mileage for this time of year.
A screenshot of my cumulative mileage. On Thursday at 9 am I hit 743 km. Yay!
Crafting
I knit so much last weekend I gave myself tennis elbow. I’m working on this beautiful shawl. I got the pattern and supplies on my trip to Iceland last year. The designer, gk dottir, is a wonderful human. The short rows and colour changes mean it is just challenging enough to get into flow.
A wedge of knitting showing glittering copper, sparkling champagne and sparkling black lines segments filled in with white, orange and grey strokes. The pattern is called Dragonfly and is inspired by zoomed in imaging of dragonfly wings.
I’m taking beading classes through my local rec program. It’s an Indigenous lead class with Indigenous and settler students. I love it so much. I come home from the weekly class and I spend HOURS beading. I get into flow and my worries fall away.
What’s a mid-life crisis without more tattoos?
Oh ya. I’m hitting all the stereotypes. I’m getting line work on a full sleeve next week.
While I don’t think any of our regular contributors on the blog are Randonneurs (someone who has completed at least one official club brevet of 200 km or greater) we sure have written about it over the years.
And uh. Sam, Cate and a few others have been wondering, is 2025 the year to get into Randonneuring?
That first 200 km ride is a big milestone. It can feel like a big stretch from a metric (100km) or imperial (160km) century ride.
But maybe you too are “Rando Curious”.
I have great news! Your local Randonneur club likely has shorter distance rides called “populaires”. I think of them as popular for the people!
There are some better explanations on this amazing cycling YouTube channel by Randonneur Regan Arendse. He interviews my friend Randonneur Fred Chagnon and American Randonneur Joshua Haley
What I love about my local club, Randonneurs Ontario is that nearly every 200 km and longer brevet in 2025 has a Populaire distance ride paired with it.
It’s a great way to sample the sport, meet the humans and see what self supported rides can look like.
I completed a 100 km Populaire last year at the Railway City 200 km brevet. It was humbling so I didn’t go for a 200 km later in the season. I didn’t have the legs for it.
This year I’m volunteering at Railway City on August 9. The 200km is a figure 8 shape and the 100 km Populaire is the eastern lobe. It’s relatively flat and late enough in the season to find your legs. You can get the details Here
My current plan is to sign up for the women’s brevet hosted by the Toronto chapter on Saturday Sep 20. You can find details Here
So if you want to get a taste of the kind of riding the club offers I hope you will give a Populaire a try!
Welcome to the first day of spring 2025. It was light enough this morning that I think I can start riding my bike to work. And it was warm enough that I won’t even mind riding home when I’m wet.
I did drag my hybrid off the trainer and rode to dance class. It was a bit of a disaster because I I didn’t have time to pump up my back tire, and I forgot my lock. Thank goodness I could tuck it inside the front entrance of the school.
It’s very grey out with rain predicted by the time I finish class but at least I’ll be ready for that because I remembered my rain hood (if not my bike lights).
Diane in her bright red rain hood and blue and white bike helmet. She hasn’t had time to remove the light that she never even used all winter.
I’ll get more organized before my next ride. It’s all a work in progress, and it will get better as I get back into the cycling habit.
Wow. January flew by and it’s time to check in on all those fancy words & promises I made to myself in December and January.
My word of the year is “steady” and I’ve maintained a consistent workout schedule which is feeling good and maintaining my steps per day at 10,000 a day.
I aim to cycle 30 km a week. At my current pace that’s 90 minutes of spinning. I’m in the ball park each week and trending towards hitting that consistently. I’m not stressing about it, I’ve already done more km this January than any previous ones. Yay!
The first few weeks I needed a day or two between spinning sessions as my legs were quite sore. After 4 weeks a recovery rides feel good even on consecutive days.
I continue to go to physiotherapy for my balance. Most recently Emily gave me some core exercises to further support my stability.
To compliment my targeted training I’m also trying exercise “snacks”. 5 minute yoga moment focused on wrists? I’m there.
10 minute standing core workout? Perfect!
15 minute dance cardio? Heck ya, let’s grapevine like it’s 1999!
I’m finding a bit of play and joy by not taking things too seriously. I am highly unskilled at dancing, lateral movement and core workouts. I find a sense of humor helps as I ineffectually flop about trying to cajole my brain and body into doing something new. I’m coming for you neuroplasticity!
I had recommitted to a daily yoga practice. I’ve taken a big tent approach to that by including stretching and meditation as “daily yoga”.
It’s feeling good. I’m more stable on my feet walking to work on icy sidewalks.
So far, so good with my 2025 plans. Hope yours are going well too!
Nat smiles at you wearing a green plaid shirt. Her hair is longer than it’s been for many years.
I have not been spinning indoors since July 2022. I was keeping a regular schedule on the Peloton and then I just walked away.
I thought I’d get regular outdoor rides in and that would be enough.
I had a decent 2024 cycling season. I trained up for the MS Bike tour and PB’d (Personal Bested) the whole route at the end of July. The conditions were ideal. I felt like a champion!
My wake up call came on a 100 km ride in August with a solid headwind in the second half. I melted. It was rough. I finished but there were times my speed was 13 km/hr or less. Yikes.
Since then I was away quite a bit. My only riding has been my short commute to work twice a week. It is less than 15 minutes. I like it a lot but it’s not enough to build on my cycling.
I have been consistently recording my rides in Strava. I completed 704 km in 2024 and that was mostly in June & July.
With “steady” being my word of the year for 2024 I want to see a more consistent amount of kilometers each week. I think this will help me be stronger on those windy days.
So I hopped back on the Peloton Jan 1 and did a twenty minute beginner ride with Tunde. I like her firm, positive guidance. The beginner rides are tutorials orienting you to the bike, display and purposes of each phase of the ride.
Tunde sits on her bicycle smiling at the camera. She is wearing a fuchsia workout top with her hands forming a heart shape.
The ride was a handful of spin ups and felt good. My legs felt strong as did my back. I wore regular shorts as it was a short class. I find for rides under an hour I don’t need my chamois.
With my commuting and indoor spinning I want to hit a minimum of 30 km per week. That’s 90 minutes of cycling for me at a 20 km/hr pace. This feels achievable.
I really enjoyed the class and felt like it was time spent with an old friend.
I am a sucker for peer pressure, in a positive way. I love the mutual encouragement that comes from hanging out with similar-minded people. It is almost always the thing that gets me active.
This week, someone posted a question about why people don’t bike in winter/bad weather. I answered that I used to bike to work all the time, but with the new job I am finding it much more difficult: dark, wet from being in the pool, cold. His response was that the wet part was tough, but I should give it a try.
So I did.
Diane in a very reflective jacket, with her glasses covered in raindrops, with her bicycle in the background.
The verdict? It was totally fine. Fun, even.
Admittedly, it’s not yet really cold, and this was a lifeguard shift so I didn’t get wet. I might feel less enthusiastic when there is snow on the ground and I have been in the water for several hours beforehand.
But I pulled my winter bike out of storage and oiled the chain. I still need to charge all the lights and pump the tires. I want to be ready to try and make that positive peer pressure feeling last.
I went out for a ride with my big kid bike gang last night and once again was struck by the gender gap in our cycling group. Out of 24 people, only 7 were women. Sometimes, the disparities are even greater.
Part of our cycling group relaxing at the end of a ride.
It’s a pretty casual bunch of people mostly between the ages of about 30 and 60, and most of them are strong advocates for everyday cycling (a demographic that includes a lot of people who identify as women). So why aren’t the women out for a ride?
Among my friends, some of it boils down to child care. Even with a supportive partner, getting an evening away from the kids to go ride a bike can be difficult. If your kids are big enough to ride on their own, they may not be up to riding to a distant start point and home again after the ride. If they are younger, they might be easy to carry on a cargo bike, but their bedtime falls in the middle of the ride.
There may be other reasons keeping women away, or they don’t even know about our rides. Or they know and just aren’t comfortable joining us. I admit that I was intimidated about showing up for a ride around town with a bunch of strangers the first time I went.
If this happens to women who love riding bikes and use them for transportation every day, imagine what it’s like for women who are more fearful about their safety, more intimidated by harassment and close passes, or who simply don’t have the same opportunities as boys and men to ride bikes at all.
This Shifter YouTube video is an excellent summary of the issues, with their sources in the description.
Have you noticed similar disparities where you live? What has worked to help change that? I would love to hear your ideas.
Yes, I know the joke in the title is ridiculous but I couldn’t resist.
Let’s just roll with it, shall we?
I find goal setting a tricky business overall.
The process of breaking things down into small steps and prioritizing is valuable but my brain does NOT want to do it. In fact, that type of thinking is my brain’s least favourite thing.
It likes to generate all kinds of extra factors and complications and ideas and it wants me to account for EVERY SINGLE ONE so I can PROVE that this goal/plan is the ONE RIGHT WAY to get where I want to go.
Is this helpful?
It is not.
Can I stop my brain from going into that loop?
No, I cannot.
Can I try to find a workaround?
I can try!
In order to work with my brain and ensure that it won’t fight me every step of the way, I have to find a healthy combination of specificity and flexibility – specific enough so that my brain registers the idea as an actual thing that is happening and flexible enough that my brain won’t revolt at the idea of being trapped in a plan that past me made.
This kind of sums up my brain’s feelings on a lot of my plans. image description: a screencap of a tweet by Marly (@VerbsRProudest) from Oct 3, 2014 that reads ‘I hate to cancel. I know we made plans to get together tonight but that was two hours ago. I was younger then, and full of hope.
And while I bristle at the idea of ‘making the most’ of summer (or of any season or event, really – the pressure! Ugh!) I do like the idea of making each season feel a little different by doing things that feel like they belong in that time of year.
So, to summarize (summer-ize? ha!) I want to do some seasonal things to kind of anchor myself in the moment, I want to have loose plans that help me actually do those things, but I want enough flexibility in those plans so my brain doesn’t get cranky and stubborn.
Here are a few categories of fun/ideas/goals/plans that I am playing with at the moment.
Cycling – I’m looking into buying an ebike but it’s not in the budget quite yet and I also want to make sure that I will actually use it so I am trying to use my regular bike more (and yes, I see the conundrum here – an ebike would increase my likelihood of riding more but…yeah) But the vague goal of ‘use my bike more’ is not helpful so I need to get specific – two 20 minute rides per week for the next three weeks and then reevaluate?
Patio Yoga – I love doing yoga on my patio either in the sunshine or in the evening with the little patio lights on. I want to say that I will start or end each day with yoga on the patio but I also know that I will get thrown off from this plan. So I think I will aim for daily outdoor yoga but with the idea that 3-5 times per week is more likely.
Hiking – I’m not inclined to do long hikes at the moment but perhaps that will change. For right now, I plan to do two short hikes (2 hours or less) in July and 2 in August. At least one of these hikes will involve a picnic and some reading in the middle.
Swimming in a pond – Last summer, I only managed to swim in a pond 2 or 3 times. This year, I am conspiring with a friend to ensure that I am going to *at least* double that.
Hula Hooping – I really *want* to be good at hula hooping but I never practice consistently enough to get the knack. I’m committing to bringing my hoop outdoors with me every time I hang out in my yard to write and I will practice for at least 5 minutes per writing session. Will this help me improve? Maybe, maybe not, but I definitely won’t improve if my hoop stays propped against the wall downstairs.
This photo is from a few years ago but it’s the mental image that arose when I thought about bringing my hoop outside to use when I take a break from writing. Image description: a blue, green, and gold hula hoop rests against a long table covered in a blue table cloth with an ipad and some art supplies on top. The table itself is on some long-ish grass under some trees and there is a mix of sun and shade.
Deep relaxation – I’m going to follow daily, deliberate relaxation practices and hopefully get some of this lingering stress out of my brain and my muscles. (I know this one isn’t summer-specific but summer is supposed to be relaxing, isn’t it? Let’s say deep relaxation is thematically appropriate )
Sounds like some fun stuff, right?
Specific but not super-detailed?
Now as long as I keep below my brain’s ‘Oh hell, no!’ radar, I’ll have a great time this summer.
The photo below is largely unrelated but it made me laugh all over again a few minutes ago so I thought you might like it, too.
Yes, the joke in my title is kind of recycled. I made this card during my first year doing the Index Card A Day challenge. I’m not sure what the prompt was bears? summer? summer bears? Hawaiian shirts? It could have been anything. All I know is that in brainstorming the prompt, my sons and I ended up saying ‘Summer bears (and summer not)’ which kept us laughing for ages. That should tell you a lot about our sense of humour, right there. Image description: a drawing on an index card shows a brown bear in a Hawaiian shirt and a yellow bear in a green and white jersey standing on either side of a round container filled with ice with glass bottles of drinks sticking out of it. It’s a summer day and there are puffy white clouds in the blue sky.
When you are starting a new sport, you don’t know what you don’t know. New activities can be intimidating when you are not sure what to expect.
This year I am new to group cycling as a first-year member of the London Cycling Club. Before my first ride, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Fortunately, at the club’s kick-off meeting, leaders gave many great tips for those just getting started. The focus of the tips were on comfort and safety.
I’m going to share how I prepared for my first rider development ride, which was about 25km at a pace of about 15-20km/hr. This preparation eased my nervousness and helped me feel more ready to explore something new. If you are just joining another new group activity, hopefully some of these ideas might be applicable as well!
Gear preparedness
I got a bike tune up at the start of the season. But even without one, it’s a good idea to check for a clean frame, an oiled chain, sufficient tire air pressure, a comfortable seat height, working brakes, and a bell.
I tried on my helmet for fit, and ensured my front and rear lights were working. I brought my repair kit with a spare bike tube in case of a flat. At the pet store, while buying cat food, I made myself my own “dog tag”: road ID with an emergency contact.
Clothing preparedness
I checked the weather and wore well-fitting clothes and shoes that wouldn’t catch. High visibility/reflective clothing is good for evening rides, so I broke out my bright colours!
I learned that cycling clothes are called a “kit.” Many wear their full cycling kit, so gear up if you want to! Developmental rides don’t seem long enough to me to wear padded shorts/pants, so I didn’t. Most important is to wear what‘s comfortable and safe for you.
Route preparedness
I checked out the route in advance. Because I was a bit nervous, I cycled the route on my own beforehand (and I heard some people drive routes that are new to them).
As well, I checked the driving route TO the start point to give myself at least 15 minutes before the ride starts. An early arrival meant I was ready to hear any important information, and if I had to make a last-minute adjustment other riders won’t be waiting for me to leave.
Other stuff to bring (or not bring)
I brought a full water bottle that fit in the bottle cage. (In hot weather, some ppl freeze half the water first, then fill up the rest just before they go!) Sunglasses or tinted visor. I brought a granola bar and a small stuff bag to stash or add a layer. Many people ride light and don’t bring any gear bags at all.
Some people have odometers or phone holders for the route (as I do), but others just follow along. I brought my bike lock but didn’t need it. I brought $5 for a mid-way stop, but I just drank the water and ate the granola bar I brought. I brought earphones, but I found they impeded my practice with verbal and non-verbal communication on the ride.
Social preparedness
Turns out rides include small talk to get to know others. I brought a friendly attitude and questions with me to learn from others. The chat is not only social: it helps to build rapport and trust you need to ride well as a group.
I was also ready to keep my eyes and ears open, to listen to the ride leaders, then watch and follow what they do. After learning the hand signals, I practiced them. I did my best to communicate and stay with the group. All of this is done not just to have fun but to be safe and keep others safe.
What else would you suggest to prep for your first time out, more seasoned cyclers than me? Please share your must-brings or must-wears to this starter list!
