Why is Nat so into her hobbies these days?

Oh this is a midlife crisis!

I get it now. That intense maelstrom of emotions that come for me at 3 am. This week I realized it’s stereotypical mid-life crisis energy and I am really in it.

Shifts in parenting

My mid-twenties kids are out in the world making big choices. I remind myself I did that at their age too. I was married at 22, a parent at 25. It turned out ok but WOW it looks very different from my fifty year old perspective.

There is no shortcut around lived experience and I’m working on having a healthy detachment while figuring out what support looks like for them.

Ah yes, capitalism

My paid work is the experience of many people who are employed at mid-life. Restructuring at my company is shifting roles, responsibilities and networks. It’s uncomfortable. I don’t have a sense of normalcy.

I thought my career was on one trajectory but that has faltered. I’m disappointed and quite sad about it.

There’s no peace at home

We are renovating our kitchen. Week 4 of no sink, stove or dishwasher has definitely taken the gilde off the lilly.

I am in a privileged spot where a mortgage and renovations are financially feasible. Our contractors are wonderful humans who really care about us and giving us an exceptional experience.

But.

Good.

Green.

Earth.

It is more disruptive and expensive than I could have imagined. It might be mostly done in 2 more weeks.

That’s a lot

So.

Ya.

No.

I’m not sleeping.

My wakefulness at 3 am from hot flashes and bathroom break turns to questions both practical and existential.

What sized drawers should that pantry have?

Has my kid who fell off a cliff in BC actually ok?

Why do I feel invisible at work?

Good thing he’s here

The anchor, and wonderful gift in my life, is my partner of 30 years. Michel and I are good and it makes things feel achievable.

We are in step on nutrition, sleep and prioritizing our health. Our family histories are full of cardiovascular risks and we are doing what we can to stack the deck in our favour.

Move it, move it

My silly little goal of cycling to work has really helped me adopt a better mindset on the road.

I’m choosing to share quippy videos with friends on my cycling commute. My watch is posting all activities on Strava.

I think it surprises people how active I am. I like to think I’m a small part in them thinking they can add more activity to their lives too. Positive peer pressure for the win!

My mileage from walking and cycling since January 1 is approaching 800 km. That is triple my usual mileage for this time of year.

Crafting

I knit so much last weekend I gave myself tennis elbow. I’m working on this beautiful shawl. I got the pattern and supplies on my trip to Iceland last year. The designer, gk dottir, is a wonderful human. The short rows and colour changes mean it is just challenging enough to get into flow.

I’m taking beading classes through my local rec program. It’s an Indigenous lead class with Indigenous and settler students. I love it so much. I come home from the weekly class and I spend HOURS beading. I get into flow and my worries fall away.

What’s a mid-life crisis without more tattoos?

Oh ya. I’m hitting all the stereotypes. I’m getting line work on a full sleeve next week.