As we all know, making change, planning change, adding things to your life or enhancing what is already going on can be very challenging.
So today, I am inviting you to explore ways to make the process of change a bit easier on yourself.
How can you make it easy to remember what you want to do?
How can you make it easy to plan your activities towards your goal?
How can you make it easy to get started at first and on a day-to-day basis?
How can you make it easy to adjust when you have to change your plans?
How can you make it easy to start again if you end up needing to take a break?
How can you make it easy to finish your exercise or meditation or wellness practice and then move on to the next event in your day?
Maybe you don’t need to answer all these questions at once but it’s worth considering which ones will be helpful to you.
Don’t worry about coming up with a perfect plan to make it easy, just the idea that it is OK (and strongly encouraged) to seek ease in this process will be helpful to you.
After all, the easier it is to remember what to do, to plan it, to get started, and to return to it as needed, then the easier the process will be overall.
Because change requires effort, because it can be very hard, it only makes sense to create ease whenever possible so you have more energy for the challenging parts.
If you can reduce the friction and the obstacles surrounding your plan then you’ll have more energy for the actions and activities that will bringing you closer to the life you want to create.
So, Team, I hope you’ll explore ways you can make the process of change easier and I hope you’ll be kind to yourself in the process.
Here’s your gold star for your efforts – both your efforts towards your goals AND your efforts to make it easy to do that work.
Go Team Us!
A small painting of a gold star on black paper. The star is in the upper left corner of the page and there are solid lines and dotted lines extending from the star along the outer edge.
January 1 is an actual new calendar year BUT it is also an arbitrary date for starting something new. It simultaneously has a lot of meaning AND no meaning at all, goalwise at least.
I love the idea and the feeling of a ‘fresh start’ on January 1 but I resent the pressure and the implication that I need to become a ‘new me.’ (I happen to like current me and I would like to add more good things to her life.)
I am drawn to creating plans, goals, and systems but I feel overwhelmed by the idea that they all need to start on January 1 (an idea that I reject but it still haunts me.)
I love the idea of big challenges (they help me focus) but I need small, recurring tasks if I want to keep working away at my plans (even though my brain argues with me that the tasks aren’t adding up to anything.)
I want to make a long-term plan so I have everything in place right at the beginning but I know that making a detailed plan means that my brain will overlap the plan with the tasks and file the project away as already complete.
I like having something to work towards but I know that focusing on the process rather than the result is the only way to actually add good things to my life.
For all of these reasons (and because I have zero capacity for planning in December), I usually refer to January as Planuary and use this month to figure out how I want to proceed throughout the year – with fitness, with work, and with everything else.
To prepare for Planuary, I’ve been reading and watching a lot of interesting advice about resolutions, goals, and the like.
And since you might also be in the space of contradictions and Planuary and figuring things out, I thought I would share some of the stuff I have found:
Here’s Jessica McCabe from How to ADHD with some advice about accountability. She’s mostly talking to people with ADHD but I’m sure there’s useful stuff for everyone in here:
Karin Nordin. Ph.D., from Body Brain Alliance has some interesting suggestions in this video about how to experiment with your goals before deciding whether to take them on. She suggests this approach as a December experiment but it could work as a Planuary experiment, too.
I really enjoyed this reflection from Kate C. Bowler on Instagram about how we can proceed imperfectly.
So, with all of this information (and more!) at hand, I am ambling into January/Planuary with the idea of taking things day by day while I figure out the big and small pictures of how I want to expand and enhance (and simplify and streamline) my life in 2025.
AND, as I have been doing for the past few years, I will be writing a daily Go Team post to encourage you (and me!) to be kind to ourselves as we figure things out.
Whether you have your plans in place or whether you are ambling along with me, I hope you’ll keep me company along the way.
This isn’t exactly a Go Team post but it also kind of is, so here is our gold star for our efforts – our efforts to figure things out, our efforts to be at ease with what we haven’t figured out, and our efforts to be kind to ourselves either way.
I know, I usually use a drawing for our gold stars but this photo of a sparkler always makes me happy and it feels celebratory AND it has lots of star shapes in it so we’re calling it a gold star. Image description: a photo of one of those metal sparklers with flammable, spark-creating material on one end that people use to celebrate special occasions. This one has been lit outside and is giving off all kinds of sparks and sparkles that look like a cluster of gold stars. The background is dark and the metal stick at the bottom of the sparkler is slightly visible at the bottom.
I know this sounds like a Christmas post but that’s by coincidence not by design.
Thanks to an off-hand reference on a TV show on the weekend, my family ended up talking about what we would ask for if we were granted one wish.
An artfully lit photo of a brass genie-style lamp with a raised design, a loop at one end for holding it, a sort of spout at the other end and a little conical top. The lamp is sitting on a shelf or table.
After we did the usual rounds of wishing for peace, wishing for wealth, and wishing for super powers (one of us would like to fly, another would like to be able to turn invisible, and I’d like to have to power to calm an anxious crowd – big shock there, hey?), we got into a certain type of more specific wish and I surprised myself with my answer.
It was one of those situations where I don’t remember ever thinking this before* but I was intrigued once I said it.
My wish was to be already 6 weeks into a fitness routine – a well-established practice, the challenges of fitting it into my schedule already behind me, starting to feel some results, the aches and pains of new movements already done.
The thought of being able to step into that point without the specific challenges of the early part of the process is incredibly appealing.
It’s not that I don’t want to work hard, I am totally willing to do that, but since all of my efforts to establish habits involve the extra loops and challenges that my ADHD throws at me, I find that there are more mental layers for me during those first few weeks than I hear about from other people.
My friends will report a reluctance to get started or some resistance to the activity itself or muscle soreness or whatever and I get all of that plus a lot of second-guessing, a lot of task initiation problems, a lot of overthinking about every part of the task, and a lot of internal pressure not to be wasting time if my efforts don’t pay off quickly.
Now that I have had that wish pop up, though, I am thinking about this whole thing differently.
I know that I can’t actually wish myself into that 6 week point but what can I do to help myself have some of that 6 week feeling sooner rather than later?
Is there something I can be doing now to help smooth the path to that feeling?
What can I do to give myself some relief from the endless loops that my brain goes through during that first part of a new program?
I don’t have the answers to all of those questions, of course, but I am going to figure them out.
And I will happily read any suggestions you put in the comments – as long as they don’t include ‘you just need to buckle down and do it’. I know that one and it doesn’t help. If perseverance was the answer, I would be the fittest person in the world by this point
ALSO, I would love to hear your fitness wishes!
What would you like to be able to do?
What would you like to make easier for yourself?
What would you magic into existence fitness-wise?
*Note: Given my ADHD and the way that brains work in general, I am not claiming that I have NEVER thought this before. I just don’t remember thinking it.
When you are starting a new sport, you don’t know what you don’t know. New activities can be intimidating when you are not sure what to expect.
This year I am new to group cycling as a first-year member of the London Cycling Club. Before my first ride, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Fortunately, at the club’s kick-off meeting, leaders gave many great tips for those just getting started. The focus of the tips were on comfort and safety.
I’m going to share how I prepared for my first rider development ride, which was about 25km at a pace of about 15-20km/hr. This preparation eased my nervousness and helped me feel more ready to explore something new. If you are just joining another new group activity, hopefully some of these ideas might be applicable as well!
Gear preparedness
I got a bike tune up at the start of the season. But even without one, it’s a good idea to check for a clean frame, an oiled chain, sufficient tire air pressure, a comfortable seat height, working brakes, and a bell.
I tried on my helmet for fit, and ensured my front and rear lights were working. I brought my repair kit with a spare bike tube in case of a flat. At the pet store, while buying cat food, I made myself my own “dog tag”: road ID with an emergency contact.
Clothing preparedness
I checked the weather and wore well-fitting clothes and shoes that wouldn’t catch. High visibility/reflective clothing is good for evening rides, so I broke out my bright colours!
I learned that cycling clothes are called a “kit.” Many wear their full cycling kit, so gear up if you want to! Developmental rides don’t seem long enough to me to wear padded shorts/pants, so I didn’t. Most important is to wear what‘s comfortable and safe for you.
Route preparedness
I checked out the route in advance. Because I was a bit nervous, I cycled the route on my own beforehand (and I heard some people drive routes that are new to them).
As well, I checked the driving route TO the start point to give myself at least 15 minutes before the ride starts. An early arrival meant I was ready to hear any important information, and if I had to make a last-minute adjustment other riders won’t be waiting for me to leave.
Other stuff to bring (or not bring)
I brought a full water bottle that fit in the bottle cage. (In hot weather, some ppl freeze half the water first, then fill up the rest just before they go!) Sunglasses or tinted visor. I brought a granola bar and a small stuff bag to stash or add a layer. Many people ride light and don’t bring any gear bags at all.
Some people have odometers or phone holders for the route (as I do), but others just follow along. I brought my bike lock but didn’t need it. I brought $5 for a mid-way stop, but I just drank the water and ate the granola bar I brought. I brought earphones, but I found they impeded my practice with verbal and non-verbal communication on the ride.
Social preparedness
Turns out rides include small talk to get to know others. I brought a friendly attitude and questions with me to learn from others. The chat is not only social: it helps to build rapport and trust you need to ride well as a group.
I was also ready to keep my eyes and ears open, to listen to the ride leaders, then watch and follow what they do. After learning the hand signals, I practiced them. I did my best to communicate and stay with the group. All of this is done not just to have fun but to be safe and keep others safe.
What else would you suggest to prep for your first time out, more seasoned cyclers than me? Please share your must-brings or must-wears to this starter list!
In my previous post I described that I’ve Joined a rec cycling club for the first time. At the kick-off welcome meeting, club leaders gave us helpful tips and explained that the annual membership gives riders access to club routes in the app Ride with GPS.
I dutifully followed advice to get my bike tuned up early in the season at a friendly bike place. Then I bought cycling gear. So, at the first sunny day I had no excuse but to try it all out.
From the app I chose the shortest all- pavement route: 26.5 km and a mere 95 m of elevation. It seemed like a manageable trip for me as a novice cycler before my first club ride.
What I Did Not Do Right
Ignoring the repeated reminders from the club leader during the kick off meeting, I failed to bring energy snacks. (I imagined the trip would be so short I would be fine without.)
Thinking it would be too chilly, I did not wear my padded bike shorts (or consider the even smarter option of wearing bike shorts under pants).
Because I bought a repair kit, I removed loose Allen keys from my handle bar bag. Then I inexplicably left the bike repair kit at home, so I had no way to adjust my seat height.
I did not think to review the route to note where there may be road closures (so of course I encountered was one that totally blocked the planned route).
Not anticipating how quickly the GPS app would deplete my phone battery, I didn’t bother to charge my phone (so ran out of power before the ride end).
Road closure almost exactly halfway through the planned 26.5 km route.
What worked out okay
Thanks to the tune up, the bike was in great shape to ride. I had gear: a new phone holder for navigation, a water bottle for hydration, and a streamed audio book to keep me from grumping about how darn windy it was (until the lphone died, of course). Also, I was nervous about road cycling, but there wasn’t much traffic and the route had a shoulder for much of the way.
When I got back to my start point I noticed a chip wagon had opened, so I hungrily ate delicious chips and vinegar while I recharged my phone in the car. (No picture available: chips devoured too quickly).
Lessons for next time
While I am sure that many of these things can happen to seasoned riders, my rookie mistakes made the trip feel longer than it was. My first lesson from this first time out is to prepare for every cycling ride like it will be a long one, even when it might not appear to be. Next time I will more carefully mind my supplies, especially when I go out on my own: it’s better to carry what I didn’t need than to need what I didn’t carry.
My second lesson is that I need snack suggestions from the FIFI community. What snacks do you prefer to take with you when you are out exercising?
A cycling route app screenshot with distance, speed, duration, and time. The phone battery power (at 1%) is circled.
Good news! The swearing DID help and the knot in my neck/shoulder is almost completely untied.
Metaphorically, of course.
As of now, I’m trying to ease back into things so I don’t set off another spasm but things feel good overall.
I haven’t made as much progress as I had hoped with my Fitness Feb 5 but I’m not stressed about it.
Here’s how things look right now (hearts that are coloured in = completed sessions) :
My updated chart for tracking my ‘Feb 5’ (which is meant to be a play of Fab 4 but you know, with 5 things and in February.) Image description: a drawing of 5 large hearts (2 red and 3 pink) trimmed in gold and outlined in black set against a background of smaller heart-shapes drawn with thin black marker. The centre of the image has text reading ‘The Fitness Feb 5’ and each heart has a different practice on it and small hearts for tracking when I do them. So far I have done 1 patterns practice, 1 RYC session, 2 journal prompts, and 3 longer meditations but no rowing hours.
Right now my stats are:
Rowing – 0
Journal Prompts – 2
Patterns Practice – 1
RYC (core training) – 1
Longer meditations – 3
I have done other journaling and meditation but I am tracking specific things in February rather than every journaling or meditation practice.
And I have been for walks and, when possible, done some kinds of yoga even though I couldn’t do patterns or row.
And if I can’t get any rowing done this month it will become part of my March Ahead plan instead.
I refuse to be mean to myself about this. Self-compassion all the way!
As Planuary comes to a close, I’ve figured out some things I want to do in February.
I’ve decided to pick 5 things in 5 categories (Fitness, Creativity, Projects, House Stuff, and Volunteer) and work on them throughout the month.
Yes, that’s a lot of things.
But, I am keeping the individual tasks relatively small and keeping the bar for success reeeeeeeaaaaally low.
And having a lot of things to switch between is appealing to my brain as is the challenge of working on all of them in one month.
I’m not particularly concerned with finishing all of them.
I’m more interested to see how this system works for me and how I feel in the process.
And if I start to find it stressful instead of interesting, I’ll revise my plan.
My ‘Feb 5’ for fitness looks like this:
5 hours on the rowing machine – this is unlikely to be an hour at a time, it will likely be 10-20 minutes per session with one or two longer sessions in there somewhere.
5 journal prompts – I want to do more reflective journaling overall but instead of thinking in terms of ‘do more journaling’, I’m aiming for 5 journaling sessions. The amount of time I spend on each prompt depends on how much time I have at any given point.
5 pattern practices – Again, I keep meaning to practice TKD more consistently but my last year has been so chaotic that I haven’t done it as much as I want to. Picking a specific number of times to practice makes it much easier to wrap my brain around.
5 Restore Your Core sessions – These sessions are part of a program I am working on and, like everything else, I have been having trouble getting to them. Picking a specific number will help.
5 longer meditations – I already do very short meditations daily but I want to add some longer sessions. 5 longer sessions in a month seems pretty doable.
So, those are my fitness plans for February but I reserve the right to switch them up at any time for any reason.
I’m not creating plans for the sake of creating plans. I’m adding these things to my life for my own sake and if they stop feeling good/useful/helpful, I’m going to do something else instead.
PS – Just for my own amusement, I’m making an artsy tracker for each category. Here’s my fitness one:
A drawing I made to keep my focus on 5 fitness/wellness areas (my Feb 5!) during February. I’ve painted 5 large pink/red hearts against a background of small hearts drawn with a thin black marker. Each of the large hearts represents a different thing I want to work on in February – longer meditation, Restore Your Core program, my TKD patterns, rowing machine, and a specific journaling practice. There are 5 small hearts within each of the larger ones so I can track my plan to do 5 sessions or 5 hours over the course of the month. Text in the centre of the drawing reads ‘The Fitness Feb 5.’
I think this is the best Planuary I have ever had.
The change I made last year from trying to plan for the year ahead to just planning one month at a time – with a general idea of where I might want to end up – made a big difference.
Finishing last year soft also made it a lot easier to think clearly about things this month.
And finding a good dosage for my ADHD meds is definitely a factor – it’s a lot easier for me to see tasks and projects as separate entities these days. And it’s easier for me to pause one thing and start another. And knowing I can pause at a specific point makes it easier to start in the first place and…other ADHD things.
I’m moving forward with various things but at a sensible pace, not feeling like I have a lot to catch up on nor like I have to get them done before I forget.
That’s not to say that every day has been perfect or easy but bad days feel more isolated, less like they are part of a big old mess of challenges.
My routines and schedules and plans are a little more closely matched to my capacity and to reality.
I have put a few fixed points into my days, as I said I would last week. I have a few sections of dedicated time for specific projects and I have been figuring out which days make sense for different types of exercise.
I’ve seen lots of social media posts complaining about how long January has been this year and that’s totally fair but I have been noticing something different.
Usually, my Januarys, even my Planuarys, have been hectic. A mix of super-slow and super-fast time that simultaneously gave me time to plan AND dumped me into February feeling behind and disoriented.
This year, January/Planuary feels like it is moving at a good pace. It feels clear and even. I feel like I am in charge of what I am doing instead of being reactive while being dragged along behind a relentless month.
I don’t know if I am getting more done, less done, or if things are about the same, but I do know that I feel better about my work, my plans, and about Planuary.
That’s one of the many upsides of deciding to have loose plans to do some planning over the course of a month, there are so very many ways for it to go well.
In my first Planuary post for 2024, I said that I was going to consider how I wanted to feel and then amble in that general direction.
For the first part of this month, I was just trying to keep things soft, to only take on the tasks that I was ready to take on. There were a few challenges involved in that process since a lot of people I encountered wanted to jump into making firm, long-term plans ASAP. I did ok with it though, doing what I could to be responsive instead of reactive and taking care not to let my scheduled get filled up with other people’s priorities.
Exercise-wise, keeping things soft meant sticking to the things I already do instead of trying to add anything new yet. I have been doing some thinking and some writing about how I want to feel physically and I am going to be ambling toward those feelings as time goes on.
Brain-wise, I want to feel like I have room to think. Ambling toward that has involved a bit more meditation, paying attention to my breath, making sensible lists, and taking lots of breaks. I’ve set up a few reminders to check in with myself throughout the week. And, I’m keeping an eye out for the very early signs of being overwhelmed and shifting things at that point instead of trying to tough things out.
So, basically, I have been being very gentle with myself as I moved through the first part of January. I don’t want to end up getting caught up in everything, having time move superfast, and then get dumped out into the next month without any sense of what happened the month before.
Yesterday – January 15 – was one of my check-in points and past me had a question ‘Do you need to add anything to your plans at this point?’
And I realized that I do need to add something – I’m ready for a little more structure in my days and in my plans.
In the past, that cue would have had me making charts and huge lists and specific timed plans. I wouldn’t have been able to follow them but the planning process would have felt great – like *THIS* was finally the plan that would turn me into the organized, orderly person I have always hoped to be.
But as Planuary Christine, the one who is aiming for softness, the one whose ADHD medication is working well at the moment, I know that I am not looking for rigid structure. I don’t need charts and plans and huge lists.
I just need a few fixed points in my day, a structure that includes all kinds of softness within it – like a couch with lots of comfy pillows.
Up until now, the metaphorical pillows have been in a pile on the floor – useful, soft, and comfy but there has always been a risk of them sliding all over the place.
By putting the pillows on the couch, I’ll know the overall shape of my pillow pile but I can adjust individual pillows as needed.
Yes, I may have run too far with my metaphor there but I stand by it.
Actually, if I had a pillow pile, I would be snuggled down into it – whether or not it was on a couch – but you get what I mean.
Given the nature of Planuary, I’m not putting pressure on myself to decide what all of the fixed points will be BUT I have specifically set aside some time later today to think about it.
That feels like enough structure to get myself started.
Nothing is particularly wrong or particularly challenging but I can’t seem to get a grip on this one and I’ve feeling a bit claustrophobic about it (like the day was closing in around me.)
I was considering reblogging a Go Team post from last year but then I decided to just post a gold star with very little commentary. I was hoping that would be encouraging for you while still giving me a little wiggle room in my wonky day.
So I drew my star and it came out like this:
My wonky drawing of a smiley face star surrounded by dots that kind of form a spider web is propped against a grey basket filled with markers. There are shadows falling at odd angles and the top part of the drawing has too much light behind it so you can kind of see through it. Things have gone wonky with the photo as well as with the drawing.
Yes, that is a rather wonky star isn’t it?
It looks much more like a 5 pointed banana than a star and what is even going on with the dots behind it? Are they part of a spider web? That makes no sense.
So, once I finished laughing at my drawing I decided to roll this post in a different direction.
I’ve decided that my banana star* has the right idea. They are just resting back on some sort of webby-hammock that a spider friend made for them and figuring out what kind of stuff they can do while wonkiness abounds.
Now, I am following the star’s example and thinking about what I can do despite/including wonkiness on this wonky day:
⭐I can write a light-hearted post reminding you that we all have wonky days and that those days don’t define us.
⭐I can find a gentle way of moving to help myself feel better – some yoga/stretches/walking/dancing, whatever appeals to me at the moment.
⭐I can do a little writing to download some of the wonkiness (and delete/tear up that writing later if I choose.)
⭐I can accept that this is probably not the best day for focused or intense work so it might be a good idea to shift my work plans around. (Alternatively, I can also give focused work a try for 10-15 minutes and see if diving into a task helps.)
⭐I can recognize that one day will not make or break my habit-building routine so whatever I can (or cannot) do today is just fine.
⭐I can be kind to myself about the whole thing.
So, what does this mean for you?
If you are having a wonky day, or a wonky hour, or a wonky workout or a wonky meditation, you can just let that time, that workout, that meditation be wonky and do what you can while wonkiness abounds.
That’s not the same as giving in to the wonkiness and letting it turn your day and your brain to mush. Accepting that wonkiness is present and doing what you can is a bit like realizing that you don’t have the right size pan for the cake you are making and using two smaller pans or using tinfoil to adjust the size of the one you have. Is it ideal? No. Does it help you get the important things done? Yep!
And that’s not the same as trying to fight the wonkiness, either. Trying to forge ahead, pretending that everything is fine may help or it might add to your frustration and increase the wonkiness levels overall. If ignoring wonkiness feels like it might help, give it a try but you don’t need to default to that option.
Whatever you try, even if it is going back to bed and taking a nap to restart your day – you don’t have to take wonkiness as a sign that you have done something wrong or that you are on the wrong path – sometimes wonkiness just happens.
And I offer my wonky gold star above as a celebration of your efforts today, whether you are mired in wonkiness, skipping metaphorically along through your day, or anything in between.
Wishing you ease and self-kindness, as always. 💚
*In case you are wondering what is like to be inside my head today, typing the words banana star immediately put this song into my head.
