I have a lot of things I want to get done today but the most important thing on my list is making a very loose schedule for the next week or so.
Yeah, it seems weird to be making a schedule for what is, essentially, a holiday week for me but I know that creating that plan will make a big difference for my busy brain.
See, I have all kinds of things of fun and interesting things I want to do and all kinds of tasks that will contribute to those things.
What I don’t have is unlimited time and energy.
So, today, I am going to spend an hour or so looking at the holiday things I am hoping to do, and the tasks related to them, and decided, roughly, when I’m going to do them.
This will be helpful because:
My list will be visible and tangible so it won’t just be taking up space in my head. And part of my brain can relax instead of constantly reminding me of the things I need and want to do.
I will be able to see when things are happening/when I want to do things and I’ll be able to tell if I am trying to fit too much into too little time.
I’ll be able to batch my tasks so I can do errands for several activities at the same time instead of having to go out multiple times.
Basically, I’ll be able to make sure that I have time, energy, and all the supplies for the things I want to do when I want to do them.
Having all of that written down means that I will be more likely to finish stuff when it needs to be done and more likely to be able to relax and have fun when I am with my friends and family.
Now, maybe you can keep all these things in your head and map out a mental schedule without having to take the time to sit down and plan it out, if so, forge ahead and keep being kind to yourself about what you are trying to get done.
But if you are like me and you need to have things a little more fixed in time and space, perhaps a list/schedule will be helpful for you, too. Forge ahead with your scheduling and keep being kind to yourself about what you are trying to get done.
No matter how you approach this, I wish you ease, clarity, and as much space as possible to do the things you want to do in the way you want to do them.
And, in case you need it, I give you permission to ditch anything that is causing you disproportional stress.
So, now that we’ve taken care of that larger space-making idea, let’s move on to the practices for today.
Our suggested movement practice for today is 5-Minute Movement Break from Work.Break.Stretch.
Still image is a sideview of the instructor in a slight squat with one arm pointing straight down and the other curled up towards her chest. She is wearing a sweater and yoga pants and she is standing next to a large plant and a window at one end of an office space with white walls.
Our suggested mindfulness practice is 7 Minute Meditation to Calm Your Mind from Soundings of the Planet:
Still image is of calm water with the sun low in the sky and reflecting on the water. The sky and water look orange as a result.
I’d like to invite you to take a really deep breath and kind of shake your arms out a little while you breathe out. And now I’d like to invite you to do that a couple of more times.
Ok, now that we’ve already done one small, silly, helpful thing for ourselves, let’s do another.
Don’t worry, you don’t have to be a good singer for this to work – as someone who sings with more enthusiasm than skill, I assure you that any level of singing ability is absolutely fine here.
You can sing in the kitchen, in the car, with other people, or wherever the heck you’d like.
You can pick a seasonal tune, pick a ditty you find especially enjoyable or you could give one of these ’10 Happiest Songs’ a try (with the caveat that while there is some science behind those song choices, they are also not very diverse, culturally or otherwise.)
No matter what kind of noises you are making today, tuneful, silly, or otherwise*, I wish you ease and self-kindness as you make space for yourself in your day.
And here are today’s suggested practices. As always, these are just here to save you the trouble of seeking them out, if you have your own plans for movement, meditation, or other space-making today, please proceed with those.
Our suggested movement practice for today is 6 Minute NIA Dance Break with Myrna Weinman from Nia Technique. This movements in this video are slow and deliberate so it is pretty easy to pick things up as you go.
Still image: 5 happy looking people in a dance studio with a brick wall and windows behind them. They are all wearing exercise clothes and their arms are in motion, some of them have one foot slightly off the floor. Four of them are standing and one of them is exercising in from a seated position.
And our mindfulness practice for today is this 10 Minute Mindfulness Drawing Meditation: Easy Art Tutorial For Relaxation and Self Care from Artfully, Mindfully.
Still image shows the title of the video in white text on a rectangular see-though title card and beneath the card it shows the instructor’s hands as she draws on a notebook with a blue marker, there are a few other markers next to the notebook on the left.
*There are those who suggest that screaming into the void is the way to go but that’s a bit hard on the voice so proceed with caution on that one.
So, after my lovely slow start yesterday morning, things got hectic.
In fact, I kind of feel like I have been on a hamster wheel ever since.
None of this hecticness was a result of my slow start though because none of this stuff could have gotten done yesterday morning.
It’s all just a frustrating convergence of a bunch of small things with bad timing thrown in.
No crises, just low key hassle and some rushing around.
And I hate it.
But, let me tell ya, I am so happy and grateful that I drew a card and listened to ghost stories yesterday morning instead of churning through my to do list.
Imagine if I had really pushed myself yesterday morning and then I had all this hassle – I would be totally exhausted by now.
I have definitely learned a lesson about taking breaks when they arrive* and I can feel the difference that calm morning made in my brain even amidst the other hassle.
Speaking of the hassle, though, I have also been trying to pause and take a few deep breaths every so often and that’s also been helpful.
Don’t worry, I’m not going to be one of those people who says ‘Stress is all in your mind. It’s all in your attitude!’ because while there is some truth in that, it is also rather unhelpful and puts blame on an already stressed person.
No one needs that.
But here’s what I will say – some extra stress can be generated by our own thoughts and stopping for deep breaths on the regular can help reduce that pressing, busy feeling.
Deep breaths are more of a pause than a break but they do make a difference.
So, Space Making Friends, if you are feeling straggly and hassled today, I hope you can find a moment to pause and breathe.**
Now, with the story of Christine’s pauses complete, let’s have a look at our suggested practices for today.
I wish you ease and clarity today and always. 💚
Here a 10 Minute Cardio/Strength Workout from Yes2Next to try out today;
Still images shows the instructors, a mother daughter team. The mother who is a senior, is seated for the workout, and the daughter, who is middle-aged, is standing. They are both wearing exercise clothes.
And here’s a 5 Minute Guided Meditation for Clearing Blockages and Negativity from Great Meditations
Still image is a cartoon graphic of a person seated cross-legged in meditation.
*Yes, I will definitely have to learn this lesson again. Let’s just accept that and move on.
**Some of my coaching clients find it fun to breathe in deeply and the exhale while saying a curse word – might be worth a try if your brain fights you on the idea of pausing.
In case you were wondering, there is zero overlap between Dancing with Christine and Dancing with the Stars.
I mean, unless you count all the gold stars that I have hanging up in different places in my house. Technically, dancing in my kitchen is dancing with stars…or near stars.
ANYWAY!
I like dancing in my kitchen when I am cooking, baking, or just hanging out and here are a few of the songs that I have been flailing around to lately.
I’m offering them to you in case you feel like flailing around in your kitchen right now, too. Flailing in other rooms of the house is also highly recommended, I just tend to flail in the kitchen most often,
A few years ago, we came across JD McPherson’s Christmas album ‘Socks’ and I have been dancing around to it ever since.
The song All the Gifts I Need is linked below but consider also giving Socks and Ugly Sweater Blues a try. Or just dance to the whole album – you won’t regret it.
Brenda Lee’s Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree is an obvious choice but still a VERY fun one.
And again, I am not breaking any new ground here but All I Want for Christmas Is You gives me a ‘put bells on my sneakers because I’m a cheerleader in the Santa Claus parade’ feeling (even though the didn’t come out until I was several years past my cheerleading days.)
If you can’t stand Christmas music or if you don’t celebrate Christmas, don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!
Here are some totally non-holiday songs that I also like flailing around the kitchen to.
The second song in this list refers to a funeral and alcohol consumption, and the third one also refers to alcohol consumption. If these things are sensitive topics for you please take good care of yourself and avoid clicking the links.
Charming Disaster’s Baba Yaga is not only a fun song, it has all kinds of great folklore in it.
Great Big Sea’s The Night Pat Murphy Died may not sound like a good dance topic but my sisters and I have baffled many other dancers at weddings while flailing around to it.
And finally, Spirit of the West’s Home for a Rest will always get me into full-flail.
Do you already flail around to these songs? If not, give them a try and let me know what you think!
Also, please feel free to put your songs to flail along to in the comments.
I am (accidentally!) a good example of space making today…in two different ways.
First off, I decided to start my week in a fun way (an excellent way for me to create mental space for myself) by drawing a card for someone.
That much was deliberate.
However, I also put on a YouTube video of Christmas ghost stories because I’m looking for ideas for another story to tell at an event on Thursday night and I got so caught up in the stories and in my drawing process that I spend MUCH longer at it than I meant to.
Now, from a ‘plan things well so you don’t feel rushed’ perspective, that might not have been the best result.
But from a ‘how does your brain feel’ perspective, it was a GREAT way to make some space for myself. I feel relaxed and very ready to take on the other tasks in my day.
As for the second way that I am going to be a good Space Maker example today…well, after spending all that time on drawing and listening, I didn’t have a lot of time to develop my original idea for this post.
Soooooo, I reminded myself that ‘done beats perfect every single time’ and find a quick but encouraging approach to this post.
Hopefully, I was successful!
Meanwhile, Space Making friends, I hope that you can create enough space in your day for some fun, some ease, and that you can choose done over perfect whenever possible.
And, with that said, here are our video suggestions for today and whether you choose to do these or another practice, I hope you feel good about the process.
Our movement practice for today is 5 Minute Office Chair Yoga from Black Yogi Nico Marie:
Still image description: The video title is in the foreground in white text and the background is gently blurred but shows the instructor sitting in an office chair in a bright living room space with art on the walls.
And our mindfulness practice for today is 3 minute Mindful Breathing Meditation Relieve Stress from Meditation4 SelfHealth:
Still image description: a photo of a calm ocean and blue sky. There is a light green circle graphic overlaid on the image and with text reading ‘Mindful Breathing: Stop Breathe & Think’ on top of the circle.
I am among the first to step up and complain about the relentless darkness that is the reality of December. Where I live, the sun is setting by 4:12pm (as of today) and it’s middle-of-the-night dark by 5:30–6pm. Sigh.
But I discovered a silver lining last year (yes, I’m always late to the party): lots of botanical gardens and zoos, and yes, even cemeteries set up location-appropriate light exhibits for the winter season, inviting folks to walk through their spaces in the darkness, enjoying their artsy, funny, joyous and even contemplative creations.
Last night, I returned to the Mount Auburn Cemetery in Cambridge with a bunch of friends to experience their Solstice lights walk. Unlike zoos and gardens and historic houses, there are no elves or Santas, and no holiday jingles are playing. There is music, but it’s more somber and majestic. We are all encouraged to reflect, to look inward, to be aware of movement and stillness. This is, in my view, just what’s ordered for a cold, dark December.
In case you’re finding this hard to imagine, we got pictures (several of them courtesy of friends who accompanied me).
One of the coolest art installations was a field of lights, facing a row of mausoleums. There was a rubber mat to stand on that signaled a person’s stillness and movement. The lights responded.
The field of lights with four lighted mausoleums and a full moon.The light field, which changed in response to a person’s movement.A kid standing still, the lights awaiting their movement.
Moving our arms and legs every which way, the lights responded, as if they were waves of wheat. It was so cool.
Continuing our walk, we saw orbs of light and candle pillars, strewn among the stones and benches.
A bench, illuminated with yellow candles and blue-white orbs.Orbs, trees, headstones.Lit trees, orbs and surrounding darkness.
The next light exhibit was the eclipse, accompanied by deep bass music and fog.
A bright outline of an eclipse, surrounded by fog and tree branches.
We then made our way by more headstones, trees and memorials to loved ones.
A sphinx, keeping watch by night.Feathery tree branches, bluish in hue at night.
The last big outdoor exhibit was a light show on the facade of the Chapel.
Patterns of moving lights– celestial? Organic? The Chapel in deep purple on its way to indigo.
Inside the Chapel there was a violinist playing, and we were encouraged to stand or sit in quiet contemplation.
Leaving the scene, we headed down the hill and back to normal life. It was a lovely side trip to a space for breathing, stillness, and movement.
Oh, and I got a lot of steps in, too, at a time and place that I normally wouldn’t. Which was fun.
I have more plans for outdoor walking light shows: I’m going with my friend Melanie to the Eleanor Cabot Bradley house Winterlights show, and also to the New York Botanical Garden for their holiday train and light show with my friend Martin. And who knows what else may present itself before the holidays are over…
Hey, y’all– does anyone have plans for strolling around a garden, zoo, historic house, cookie factory, etc. that’s strewn with lights? If not, I heartily recommend it. All you need to do is dress warmly and prepare for wonder.
Here we are at December 15th almost halfway through the month and I think this is a good time to take a breather.
Yes, I know that you probably can’t just take today off and rest completely but I am hoping that you can keep an eye out for possibilities for more rest and then take them when they arise.
So, with the idea of giving your brain a break – something I am hoping to carry forward beyond today – I have been thinking about what I can dial back on.
Now, to be clear, while I am someone who always has a lot on the go, I am not someone who goes in for elaborate celebrations or over-the-top events.
I am, however, someone with ADHD who can’t always accurately calculate the time/energy/effort that will be required to do the things I have set out to do and, as a result, I can get overwhelmed with even the fun or interesting things I had hoped to do.
So, dialing back often becomes a VERY important process for me* and it may be useful for you, too.
If you are finding that the thoughts of the weeks ahead are exhausting you already, perhaps there are places where you can dial things back so you have more energy for the things that are really important to you.
For me, dialing back often involves identifying the most minimal version of the task that will still count as done.
So if, for example, I was planning a dinner for my friends and I had envisioned cooking something elaborate, my dialed-back version might involve ordering food, cooking something in the slow cooker, or changing the gathering to a games night instead. I would still get the fun of hanging out with my friends but I could take away the parts that feels overwhelming.
Or if I had a report due and I had planned on designing a cover and doing some more elaborate formatting, a dialed-back version might mean a black and white digital version. (Or I might ask someone else to design the cover and do the formatting.**)
If decorating felt too overwhelming, I might just pick a few key items to put up around the house and leave the rest for another year. If you make the decision to only put up a few things then you close the loop on decorating and it doesn’t hang over you as a task undone.
Dialing back on these things is not about depriving yourself, it’s about giving yourself more space and more energy to do the things that are actually important to you right now.
Dialing back is choosing which things are fine to stay small so you will have room to go big in other areas.
Not everything needs to go up to 11 – some things will serve you perfectly well at level 5, 3, 1, or even 0.
And even though there are often other people involved in these things, I often find that my overwhelm has arisen internally, that I am the one who has the vision that is too big for the time available. So, for me, the key is usually in taking the time to notice the dials on my tasks and then turning them in a direction that suits me best.
If you find that the same thing happens with your dials, I hope that you can adjust them as needed.
And as you figure these things out today (or whenever!), I wish you ease and as much peace of mind as you can muster.
And with rest and ‘dialing back’ in mind, here are our suggested practices for today. Please remember that you are the boss of you and that I am hoping you will do what serves you best, whether it involves these videos or something else entirely.
Please be kind to yourselves, Space Makers!
For our movement practice today, here’s Restful Movement (Theme: Community) from Queer Yoga North:
Still image description: a brightly-coloured title card featuring graphics of a rainbow, a series of hearts in rainbow colours, various brightly-coloured polygons, and a drawing of a white cat in a rainbow bow tie. The title of the video is in a handwritten font on the right side and the background of the image is a vibrant green.
Still image description: a photo in the forest with the trunks of giant trees all around with big spaces in between them, most of the trees are too tall to see their branches and the scene is very light for a forest floor so the top branches must have space between them as well. . Some trees appear to be redwoods but others seem to be evergreens with mossy trunks. There are rocks, fallen logs, and fallen needles on the forest floor.
*Yes, I also work on trying to understand the scale and scope of my tasks but sometimes I don’t realize that I haven’t done that until it is far too late.
** If your budget allows, consider this your permission to hire someone to do some aspects of your tasks for you – even household tasks. Lots of people need extra money this time of year and I have often hired a friend to help with tasks I was dreading or that I couldn’t get around to. I have also traded annoying tasks with friends so, for example, I could make their phone calls while they ran my errands.
I hope that today brings you a little more space than you were expecting and I hope that you can enjoy that space thoroughly in the way that feels best for you.
Since I am working on managing expectations this week – especially the subconscious expectations I don’t even realize I have (a.k.a. the worst kind) – I have a note-to-self that might be useful for you, too.
Dear Christine (and anyone playing along at home),
Please focus on key elements, not the add-ons.
Remember last night when you and your family were decorating the tree? When you moved the couch so you could reach the side of the tree more easily and you realized that no one had gotten around to vacuuming under there yet?
You had a flash of frustration because you wanted that done *before* the tree went up but you had all forgotten about it and now you were already in the middle of decorating. Your oldest offered to grab the vacuum right then but you said, “No, thanks. Decorating the tree is way more important than getting the vacuuming done.”
Gold star – ⭐. Excellent work.
Please apply that logic to other tasks and events during the next two weeks.
Bring those subconscious expectations to the surface by asking: What is the important part here? What is necessary? Does that other task actually matter?* What are the key elements? What are the add-ons?What can I let go of?
This is going to change depending on the context but if you can keep your eye on the difference between what you need/want to get done and the things that might be nice to have done (but that don’t actually affect the overall event one way or the other) you will feel a lot better.
Wishing us all ease,
Christine
So, with our expectation managing practice in place, let’s consider some possible movement and mindfulness practices for today:
Here’s our movement practice for today – a Light Cardio and Stretch Cool Down Workout – Relaxing Stretches for Flexibility from Fitness Blender This is technically a cool down but maybe we can consider it a cool down after our week rather than a cool down after a workout. Of course, if this is a workout day for you feel free to add this to your routine to help you cool down from that!
Still image shows a woman with light skin and dark blonde hair in exercise clothes doing a standing quad stretch (holding her left leg up behind her, close to her body, with her knee pointing to the floor, while balancing on her right leg.) The background of the image is white.
Our mindfulness practice for today is this 10 Minute Guided Meditation for Clarity from Declutter the Mind. I chose a longer video for today because I am hoping that your Saturday is a little more flexible than the rest of your week. If not, feel free to just do part of this practice. Remember, you are the boss of you!
Still image shows the title of the video in white text overlaid on an image of rocks at the bottom of some shallow, clear water.
*Note: For some people, the lack of vacuuming would have been very distressing. In that case, grabbing the vacuum would be a key element of decorating the tree. There’s no moral lesson here just the hope that we can minimize our stress and keep do what makes the most sense for our peace of mind in the moment.
I hope this Friday finds you with at least a little space for yourself and with some room for fun on the weekend.
Since my plan for this week was to talk about managing expectations, I was thinking about how I can get caught up in my vision of how I hope things will go.
It’s not that I am trying for perfection really, it’s that I want to have fun and I want to feel good and I want things to be straightforward. In my vision, everything goes according to plan and I don’t feel stressed or hassled or off-kilter.
This morning, I was thinking about my vision for the next few weeks and I realized that I have a fixable flaw in my process.
Slight tangent incoming. Please bear with me.
Years ago, I was often the ‘sacrifice’ at local Story Slam events.
Story Slams are storytelling contests in which individuals tell stories on a given theme and they are judged by a panel of audience members.
The role of the ‘sacrifice’ is to warm up the judges by telling a story that is going to be judged but is not eligible for the contest. The sacrifice’s story is evaluated in comparison with the judges’ imagined perfect story and is often marked fairly harshly.*
After the sacrifice has warmed up the judges and the crowd, the actual competitors have a much more even judging process. This is because their stories are being judged in comparison to that first story – not a perfect story, an actual story told by an actual human, and a story that has already gotten low marks so, obviously, the others stories are going to be better! 😉
What does this have to do with my plans in December?
Well, I need to stop using the ideal, the imagined, in order to create my vision because that means I will always fall short and feel hectic and stressed.
If I use my memories from previous years to construct a vision or a plan (maybe with some adjustments), I will have a more realistic sense of a what a good party/meal/celebration/meeting could look like and I will decrease my chances of judging myself harshly (and getting stressed out) as things unfold this year.
Maybe you would like to join me in warming up your internal judges by offering them last year’s events as ‘sacrifices’?
Anyway, now that we are back from the tangent and we have worked a little on managing expectations, here are our suggested videos for today.
I wish you ease and self-kindness as you make space for yourself today.
Our movement practice for today is this 10 Minute Chair Cardio Workout (Seated Total Body!) from Caroline Jordan
Still image shows two people doing a side lunge while supporting their hips and glutes on chairs. They are both in exercise clothes and they are smiling. The background is blurred but various items from a fitness studio are against the back wall.
Our mindfulness practice today is this 5-Minute Meditation You Can Do Anywhere from Goodful.
Still image description: a cartoon figure with long black hair sits cross-legged with some leaves and branches decorating the space immediately behind them. The background of the image is light green.
PS – For some additional Space Making inspiration, check out this IG post from Kate Bowler which really speaks to releasing some of the pressure we put on ourselves. The post is Christmas/Christian in nature but the message can be applied to anything you are doing this December.
*If you know me, you are probably thinking that this sounds like something I would hate doing – agreeing to be judged when things are obviously unfair. And under normal circumstances, this would be difficult for me. However, in this case, I was unfazed because I knew what was happening in advance AND I wasn’t actually competing.
I’ve had two migraines this week so I had to adjust my plans accordingly and now I have ended up with a day full of loose tasks, open loops, and a lot of waiting on bits of information so I can complete some of those tasks and close some of those loops.
This is not a fun feeling for anyone, I’m sure. For someone with ADHD, this kind of day can feel really out of control and bring up all kinds of bad feelings from before I knew why I had to work differently.
In the first few posts for this week, I was referring to managing expectations of future events but today, I am going to give myself what I need (in post form) and remind myself (and you) that it is a good idea to manage expectations in the moment (or at least in the short term), too.
What does that mean for me today?
It means acknowledging that my day is kind of a game of pick-up-sticks but that I don’t have to win the game, I just have to play it.
It means accepting that my plans for the day may shift around and some sticks may fall.
It means I may have to be strategic about which sticks I pick up – either going for the easy ones at the edges or being really careful with the ones that are worth the most points.
It means that I may have to lift up all the sticks and drop them again to get a different layout.
It means that each stick I can move matters, even if I can’t pick them all up.
And to step away from the analogy a little, it means that I have to add some extra fun elements into my day, I have to take lots of short breaks, and I have to pay attention to my progress* rather than focusing on finishing anything in particular.
Perhaps your day is less brain-scattering than mine but it is still a good idea to be kind to yourself about your expectations of yourself today.
Make whatever allowances and accommodations you need to in order to do the tasks that are most important to you and to your well-being.
And no matter what metaphorical game you are playing today, I wish you ease and peace of mind.
With that said, let’s have a look at today’s suggested videos:
Today’s movement practice is a 7 Minute Feel Good Workout at Home – Full Body Low Cardio Boost Energy video from Lucy Wyndham-Read. In this video, she’s adding a fun VR style element that shows her doing all the movements in virtual natural spaces. It’s a bit of a ‘real person in a cartoon world’ type of thing but very enjoyable.
Still image description: The instructor, a woman with white skin and light brown hair wearing black leggings, sneakers, and a pink t-shirt, is walking with her elbows bent and her hands clasped near her face. The rest of the image is a field of virtual flowers and there are mountains in the background. The title of the video is overlaid on the image at the top and to the right.
Our mindfulness practice for today is a 3 Minute Breathing Meditation from Medistate Mind – I especially liked watching the (animated, I presume?) water in this one.
Still image description: a person sitting with their back to the camera on a dock surrounded with calm water at sunset. The title of the video is overlaid on the right hand side of the image.
*On days like this I usually find a way to create a visual record of my progress in addition to crossing things off my list. Usually I draw a series of circles (or stars!) on my notebook and colour in one circle/star for every work session I complete. I use an app called Repeat Timer that lets me set a recurring cycle of 13 minutes work and 2 minutes rest for set periods of time. I like 13 minute sessions because 10 mins is too short and 15 is too long and because 13 has always been a lucky number for me.
