Hey Team!
This is going to be yet another post where I’m not sure if a challenge I face is a me thing, an ADHD thing, an everybody thing, or some combo of all of that* but I am going to talk about it anyway because it may just be helpful.
When I am planning or trying something new, my brain tends to get tangled in some of the details.
I’m kind of all or nothing with the big picture – either I have a complete and very specific image or I have a blank space – but the details?
Those are where my obstacles tend to arise.
The smallest detail can hold up a plan for weeks because I won’t realize what the obstacle is.
That challenge of that detail can just throw a cloth over the whole project like the way my Nan would put a towel over her Budgie’s cage. I occasionally hear a squawk from the project but mostly it’s just kind of weirdly shaped presence in a corner of my mind that just feels too complex to deal with.
To counter this, I have learned to borrow expertise from trusted friends and family.
As I am figuring out how to approach something new, I might ask someone who is good at that kind of thing (or just good at letting me process verbally) to listen to my plan and add in necessary steps/ideas as we go along.**
Or, if it is a time when I am aware of the obstacle but still can’t get past it, I might ask a friend to tell me how they would handle that specific thing.
Or, if it is feasible, I might ask them to do the thing for me.
So, if you are trying to track your exercise but you just can’t seem to do it, you could ask a friend who is good with apps or spreadsheets to help you figure out a solution. Or you could get them to listen to your plan and help you spot the obstacles.
Or perhaps you have realized that your obstacle is that you like to track your exercise on paper but you don’t always exercise in the same place and you forget to write things down.
Things like that can be HUGE obstacles for me until I tell someone else about them and then I either suddenly see a solution as I talk or my orderly friend will have something for me to try.
And if neither of these things seem like the solution, perhaps your friend can create a spreadsheet, download and set up an app, or can develop a system for you to put exercise info in your phone to record in a notebook later.
Yes, it is possible for us to muddle along on our own for these things but it generally makes things harder and more annoying.
Why not be kinder to yourself?
Why not make life feel a bit easier?
Ask your admin-oriented friend for advice or help with spreadsheets.
Ask your friend with an established fitness routine for help fitting your routine into the rhythm of your day.
Ask your writer friend about how to get over the stress of the blank page and write in your new journal. ***
Ask a person who doesn’t mind making phone calls to make that call that is preventing you from taking that next step. (Or a friend can draft an email for you if that’s what you need.)
You don’t have to know how to do everything that you need done.
It’s ok to reach out for help, even with tiny things that feel like they *shouldn’t* (ugh, hate that word!) be obstacles.
If something is in your way, it is in your way, and I’ll bet your friend would be only too happy to help you remove it.
I mean, who doesn’t like bringing their expertise to help solve a problem?
And I know you will be able to return the favour another time.
So, Team, today I invite you to consider any obstacles you are facing in developing, implementing, or proceeding with your practice and borrow some expertise to help you overcome it.
It’s a great way to practice self-kindness while helping yourself more in the direction you want to go.
Here is your gold star for your efforts today, no matter how big or small they are and no matter how much or how little help you get with the details.
Go Team Us!
*For example, it may be an everybody thing that has a broader or deeper impact on people with ADHD.
**Note, I am not asking them to critique my plan nor am I asking for feedback, that’s a different dynamic which can be tricky for me and requires a different type of energy.
***Personally, I always start new notebooks by ‘ruining’ them with a black line on the front page. Anything I do after that is gonna be better than that line.
