Hey Team,
As someone with a very fluid relationship with time (to put a positive spin on how my ADHD brain works), I often have to be a bit fussier with scheduling things, with avoiding accidental procrastination, and I have to be aware that unscheduled things often loom large in my subconscious and cause a lot of stress.
Since this is the only brain I have ever had, I don’t know how much of this thinking process is related to ADHD and how much of it is my specific blend of nature, nurture, and experience.
What I do know is that lots of people benefit from taking a bit of time to think about time and schedules and the like, especially when it comes to adding new habits to their lives.
Now, I am not about to tell you to sit down with a piece of paper or with your digital calendar and make a huge plan that includes everything that you might possibly want to do. I mean, if that works for you please forge ahead but I find that prospect very intimidating. (And it’s exactly the kind of process that feels even bigger than it is so I will struggle to get started.)
Instead, I’m inviting you to consider how/when/if you need to schedule your habit-related tasks.
Are you the type of person who can put something like ‘meditate’ or ‘go for a walk’ on your to do list for the day and know that you will be able to reliably choose that task when an opportunity opens? If so, you may not need the rest of this post but you might find it useful for particularly busy days.
Or are you more like me and find it beneficial to pick a specific time to complete new or challenging tasks?
Personally, I have a much better chance of doing a new task or adding a habit-related action to my day if I schedule it. This lets me fit it in at a time when I will be likely to complete it and it keeps me from opening a mental chatter loop that goes something like this…
“Is this a good time for meditation? No? How about now? Is it too loud to meditate? Is it too quiet? If I meditate now, will I be distracted because I have that phone call to make afterwards? Should I make the call first? Maybe it would be better to meditate after lunch? Will I be too sleepy then? Should I walk first maybe? No? Oh, yoga is good before meditation. Hmm, maybe I should save it until right before bed, I can do yoga, meditate, and then get in bed with a cup of tea and a book and be all relaxed…”
And this loop won’t just happen once for me. I will have the need to meditate looming large in the back of my mind so it will feel like a HUGE thing AND that loop will recur every time I go to choose a task from my to do list.
Meanwhile, if I choose a specific time to meditate, it feels more straightforward and I can keep the mental loop short. If I decide that I am going to meditate as soon as I return to my desk after lunch then I develop a mental picture of meditating as part of the routine of starting my afternoon.
I don’t spend all morning wondering if now is a good time to meditate. Since I have it scheduled, I know that I don’t have to think about it until later. (Obviously, it might still pop into my head but the fact that there is time allotted for the task makes it easier to park it for now.)
Of course, my plan to do the task at a specific time doesn’t always pan out.
Once upon a time, that would mean that I would mentally shift the task to ‘later’ and sometimes I wouldn’t get around to it.
Now, however, if I can’t do it at the allotted time, I make a decision…
1) Am I going to decide NOT to do this today?
This is a perfectly valid option. We aren’t going to have time to do everything every day and, for me, it feels much better to consciously choose not to do something rather than to keep trying to squeeze it in and then feel bad about it the whole time.
2) Am I going to reschedule this?
This is also a valid option that keeps me from feeling bad. If my day has changed shape, it’s ok to be responsive to that and reschedule some things. By picking a different point in the day, I keep my brain from looping to find the best time, I keep the task from looming quite so large, and I don’t have to feel all in-between about the whole thing. (By the way, if my rescheduled time arrives and I still cannot do the task, I ask myself the same questions again.)
The key, as always, is the self-kindness that I am trying to bake into the process.
I’m trying to work with my brain and with my schedule so I can more easily do the things that I want to do on a given day with as little hassle and static as possible.
I don’t always succeed, of course, but with self-kindness as my guideline, I’m trying!
And I hope that you will do the same.
When it comes to expanding or enhancing your life (or planning to do so), it’s ok to work in the way that you need to work.
If you need a schedule – make a schedule.
If you need things to stay loose – leave them loose.
If you need a big plan – make a big plan.
If you need to figure it out as you go – figure it out as you go.
And, you can also find some combination of these approaches that works for you – even if you change the combo day by day.
As long as you are practicing as much self-kindness as you can throughout the process, then I vote yes on your approach.
With all that said, here is your gold star for your efforts to find the you-friendliest way to enhance and expand your life at a pace that works best for you.
Go Team Us!
Note: I know that I have written about my time challenges (and about how selecting a time for specific tasks can help) before but if I go off in search of those links now I won’t get this post done today. I was initially a little concerned that I might repeat something I have previously said but then I remembered how helpful it can be to hear the same information in different ways so I am trying to drop that worry at the moment.
