Recently a woman who serves on our local board of public health received a letter from a stranger telling her that she did believed she “cannot fulfil that role because of your unhealthy status. It is unacceptable to be overweight by the 20 pounds you appear to be carrying”.
Other women serving as elected officials in my city have been harassed in ways that range from their choice of lipstick (“makes you look like a cheap whore”) to violent threats that required police intervention.
JUST STOP!!!
It is no-one else’s business what someone weighs. There is plenty of evidence that being fat does not equal being unhealthy. How we define fatness is very subjective anyway. And don’t forget, diversity is a good thing. Having a broad range of of people can only help make public policy better by bringing their experience to decision-making processes.
Want to learn more? Skim through this blog, Google “fat women politicians” for many articles about the issue, listen to the Maintenance Phase podcast, or read Aubrey Gordon’s book “You Just Need to Lose Weight” and 19 Other Myths About Fat People. I’m reading it now and it is very solidly based on science.
It is true that men in public life sometimes get mocked about their fatness or some other characteristic, but it is almost always in the context of some other policy-based criticism. And there is almost never criticism of men of a similar size/ shape to the women being bullied.
I couldn’t find any images of larger women politicians that weren’t accompanied by stories about the harassment they had faced, and sometimes why they felt forced out of the public sphere. It made me so angry I ended up settling for an older photo of local open-water swimmer and former politician Catherine McKenna.
Catherine McKenna, in a white swim cap and red bathing suit, watches swimmers in at a Great Lakes Open Water (GLOW) in Hamilton Ontario in 2018.
But then I got mad again that I couldn’t find something suitable, so you get a few more images of smart, capable women.
Cathy Bennett stepped down as Newfoundland and Labrador’s finance minister in 2017. She has previously spoken out about abuse she’s endured online. (Bruce Tilley/CBC)City Councillor Ariel Troster wearing fun cats-eye glasses, but hoop earrings, a green houndstooth scarf and fabulous red lipstick. Photo is from her Twitter page.
We often talk about how finding time for rest is important and a form of self-care. We talk about giving ourselves permission to miss a workout. If we miss a workout or we couldn’t find the energy that day or life got in the way in a myriad of ways, we talk about being kind to ourselves and not overthinking it. Think about the next workout. Think about what you can do – not what you haven’t done. This is all true. However, it is also important that we think about finding time to fit in exercise as self-care.
It is often said that the caretaker (of children, parents, patients, clients, etc.) must ensure they look after themselves so that they are able to look after others. We try to mitigate our inclinations to feel guilty about carving out time in our days to look after ourselves.
I don’t think there are any circumstances where a person should feel guilty about finding time to exercise. If it’s something the person wants (and is able) to do, then, it is important and there should be no need to justify finding that time. Whether it’s an hour run or 7 min HIIT workout or a walk or a gentle yoga class.
Finding time to rest is important and a form of self-care but it is OK to know and to appreciate that finding time to exercise is also important and a form of self-care. If we want to exercise (and we are able to, physically, in that moment) and we want to reap the benefits – better sleep, clearer head, more energy, feeling stronger, more patience and more – we should consider it our right to find the time.
If you are starting a new job and you are unsure about taking time to exercise – I hope you give yourself the love you deserve and go for that swim.
If you are thinking about a loved one in the hospital and you feel guilty thinking about how to fit in your daily jog – I hope you ditch the guilt and lace up.
If you have kids going back to school after March Break and your head is stacked with lists of things to do – don’t forget to give yourself the gift of movement – in that list – even if it’s 7 min a few times throughout the day.
If you haven’t been exercising and you are finding it hard to picture yourself at the gym – perhaps try some of the movements you would have done at the gym – at home – try some air squats or jumping jacks or wall push-ups or whatever works for you to try and build your confidence.
I hope you find the exercise that works for you and the self-care you deserve – this week, this month, this year.
Nicole P. is selfish with exercise and fitting it in.
Last weekend I went to an event sponsored by a local medieval club and found myself sucked into the rabbit hole of dancing. I’m usually too busy in the kitchen or working on crafts to think about dancing, but this time it was a small event, I had plenty of time, and someone was teaching the dances – so I joined in.
I danced a lot! Don’t believe anyone who claims that very old dances are staid and stately. While some were slower-paced, many were very lively. I got sweaty and breathless. We needed to take water breaks.
I danced in pairs, in groups of threes or fours, in lines, in circles. I danced with men and women of all shapes and sizes. There was even an adorable six-year-old. I really loved how people paid minimal attention to traditional gender roles in the dances. Some male-female couples preferred to dance together, but most of us had no life partners to dance with, so we paired up with whoever was available. The people dancing “male” parts tried to remember to hold hands from below, while the “ladies” put their hands on top. It helped us keep track of whether we were a “man” or a “woman” for that dance.
Three photos of people in Renaissance and medieval clothing dancing in a modern hall. Top left is a circle dance, top right is a group of three dancers, bottom is a line of couples dancing. Photos courtesy of Todd Fischer.
It was an unusual contribution to my 223 workouts in 2023, but a lot of fun.
In this #TBT post, I look back to what was happening with FIFI in 2013, the year the blog started.
In her March 23, 2013 post, Back after it after almost a month away: Rebuilding after illness, @samanthabrennan describes what happened when she got “a very nasty virus” that stopped her from exercising for nearly a month. She reports experiencing many bad symptoms: the worst was a “wracking cough” that kept her up all night. It’s tough on the body to be sick for so long, and it can negatively affect one’s spirits as well.
Ten years ago, Sam gave herself some motivational advice to help her get back to her activities: Aikido, soccer, CrossFit, rowing, riding, running, and swimming. Here’s a summary of the Sam-to-Sam pep talk:
Misery loves company (my expression, not hers): Sam notes that she will be no less further along than everyone else who has struggled to keep up exercising over the long, cold winter in Canada.
Baby Steps: Sam tells herself to take small steps and work out with others who may be in a similar situation.
Acceptance: Sam suggests checking her ego to help her to accept any nervousness she may be feeling.
Enjoyment: Sam has missed out, and she knows it will be good to return what makes her happy.
Focus on the good: Sam says that nutrition and on eating intuitively can be a productive focus as she rebuilds her strength.
At the time that Sam was recovering from her illness, she could not have predicted that, ten years later, millions of people around the world would have to rebuild their strength and their spirits after facing COVID-19 and other related viral illnesses.
This includes me. I’ve been sick with more than one viral infection for nearly three weeks, and although I’m recovering it’s had me feeling down.
So, I decided to apply Sam’s ten year-old advice pre-COVID advice to my current situation.
Same boat: I’ve heard of lots of folks who have been out sick for a long time these days. Although I feel like this illness will go on forever, others have struggled too and come out the other side. So will I.
Treadmill baby steps: I can capitalize on feeling better than I did last week by doing daily stretching, yoga, and some short treadmill walks before I re-join the world. (Also, I should really clean my home.)
Accept…and appreciate: Even when I’m healthy it’s hard to accept my skill levels, but there’s nothing like getting sick to help appreciate what it’s like doing stuff while illness-free.
My teams: I’ve played two team sports this winter, curling and soccer. I’ve missed seeing my teammates in both leagues, and the season is not yet over, so hopefully soon I will re-join them.
Tasting things: Like Sam, I haven’t been eating well while sick. Trying to get back to regular meals and healthier snacks will be good. Being able to taste things again will be even better.
Overall, I find Sam’s advice (to herself) reassuring for getting over an illness. Looking back has helped me to think more positively about moving forward!
Over on Twitter, the cats who rule the internet have deemed Wednesday to be Mlemsday and everyone posts pictures of cats with their tongues stuck out (known for some mysterious reason as “mlems” or “bleps”). They all seem very relaxed and content.
On Sunday I had a fantastic riding lesson, finally figuring out how to do something my coach has spent years asking for. When I did it right, suddenly all my leg position issues disappeared. I could feel the difference in my body immediately.
So could Fancy. She relaxed her head downwards and stretched her back.
Afterwards, I was so pleased I asked my coach to take a picture. See that blep? Fancy was clearly relaxed and content.
Diane is sitting on Fancy, a very dark brown thoroughbred mare with a blue blanket on her hind end. Diane is wearing a helmet, red vest over a pale green jacket, and beige riding pants with black boots and chaps. They are in an arena with a sand floor.
I wrote about my idea of cycling through the winter here and here. Sam wrote about it here, and that one includes lots of links to other posts about winter cycling.
Unlike Sam, my goal was to be a bike commuter and I am proud to say I DID IT! I go to the office four days a week, and since November I have avoided going in only about three times. Once was definitely due to a heavy snowfall. Once was due to a predicted snowfall where we were advised to stay home, and once was due to bitter cold (-43C with the wind chill). Admittedly, I did get lucky because a few more were regularly scheduled work-from-home or planned vacation days, but there weren’t many of those.
It turns out I love cycling in winter. I am warmer on my bike than when I try to walk. The roads are usually less slippery than the sidewalks. Admittedly, cycling in traffic isn’t for everyone, but there are enough winter cyclists around that I found most cars and trucks are paying attention and are pretty respectful about giving me enough space for safety.
Most of my rides are relatively short, and I have invested in a little bit of gear to ensure I stay visible, warm and dry. I have studded winter tires which I needed more for confidence than for road conditions. The only time they were really handy was the night I went for a group bike ride immediately after a snow storm when the roads hadn’t yet been cleared.
A group of cyclists on a dark snow-covered street. There are trees and houses in the background.
Now it is officially spring, and I am starting to shed the layers and think about getting my summer bike out. So here is one last celebratory selfie of me and my bike as winter draws to a close. Note the patches of bare ground in my yard.
Diane with her winter bike in a mostly snow-covered yard with buildings in the background. She is wearing her blue helmet with ear warmers and an orange safety vest over her green winter coat.
On Sunday, my world got just a little darker when one of my oldest friends died suddenly.
I first met Jennifer 37 years ago in the context of a medieval group I belong to. She was one of the first people I knew who broke the second-wave stereotypes of feminism. She was married for over 40 years to Henry. She studied classics at university. She loved to cook, garden and do textile crafts. She was a woman of faith who shared her love of music with her church community.
She also worked in the high tech industry, then moved on to run her own business as a career coach. She was a fierce defender of rights – for the disabled, for the LGBTQ community, for visible minorities. She taught me my example about grace, tolerance and the value of diversity.
On the fitness side, it was more complicated. Jennifer never looked stereotypically fit, and she had mobility issues, but did do her stretches and some yoga, in addition to gardening. In the spirit of this blog, she did what she could and accepted herself as she was. And she was pleased that I was contributing here.
In recent months, and despite all her precautions, COVID caught Jennifer. She had some long COVID symptoms and then a series of “cardiac events” and died less than 48 hours later. Was it COVID related? I don’t know.
I do know is the world has lost a big-hearted and generous soul. This will be the reality for all us aging feminists going forward, no matter how fit we try to be.
Jennifer in her element — in the kitchen, doing some sort of craft, and laughing. Photo courtesy of Michael Cohen.
Last Wednesday, I bravely embarked on a ‘6 weeks to restart your fitness’ plan in my Fitness + app and by Saturday my legs were so sore that stairs became a major annoyance.
A screencap of the cover art for the program. Cartoon drawings of a person doing a a squat, a person doing upward dog and, in the foreground, a person doing bicep curls with barbells. Text in the upper left reads ‘6 weeks to restart your fitness’ and in the bottom left reads ‘21 episodes’
That would usually be the point when I would take a few days off and then forget to come back to the program but something about the little check marks on each completed workout drew me back and then something made me think about my sore legs a little differently.
When I started the workouts last week, they seemed relatively easy – 10 daily minutes of strength training or HIIT or 5 minutes of core work – for two weeks and then I would move on to 20 minutes of daily work. My brain tried arguing with me that there was “no point” in starting at 10 minutes, I might as well dive in at 20.
(I don’t know why my brain tries that kind of crap, I know that’s not how habits work. Brains are very annoying creatures.)
By the end of Friday’s workout, I was well aware that 10 minutes of these kind of workouts were definitely enough of a challenge for me. By Friday night, despite my cool-down and stretches, my legs were kind of cranky.
On Saturday morning, I was pretty sure someone had replaced a few of my muscles with some sort of cement-based pain generators. I considered skipping Saturday but it was a core workout so I told myself I could stick with the program one more day before taking a break.
It was a good decision – I learned two new core moves and I liked the workout way more than I thought I would.
A screen cap of the still image used to promote the ‘Core with Molly’ workout. It shows two people on yoga mats on a hardwood floor, the are both doing ‘skydivers’ a core move that involves lying on your stomach and raising your arms, legs and upper body off the floor. Text reading ‘core with Molly’ is visible at the bottom left.
With my core solidly worked out, I was wincing my way through any leg-related movements for the rest of the day and I started to think ‘Why am I doing this to myself? This program is too hard for me, I need to find somewhere easier to start.’
And maybe that is the case, maybe I should have started with something else.
But, that being said, I did enjoy the workouts while I was doing them, I don’t have anything to prove so I chose any adaptations that I felt needed during each set of exercises, and I did feel drawn to return, so this program definitely has appeal for me.
Perhaps I was looking at this the wrong way.
Maybe the fact that my legs were so sore meant I was actually working the muscles that I need to strengthen. Maybe I was sore because my exercises are targeting the exact right spots.
So, perhaps my muscle soreness wasn’t a sign that I was doing something wrong or that I had taken on too much. It was a sign that I am on the right track.
I’d love to say that my legs stopped hurting then, some sort of miracle of mind over matter, but that’s not the case. As I’m writing this on Monday afternoon, my legs are still a bit sore but I feel better about that fact.
Despite my sore legs, I did this video on Monday morning. The main instructor is very pregnant and I figured if she can do this while pregnant, I can do it with sore legs. I did modify it though, I’m not a fool. Image description: a screen capture of a ‘strength with Sam’ workout that shows three people on yoga mats with their arms in the air and their right legs extended behind them. The main instructor is visibly pregnant.
And my brain is much more willing to stick with the plan now that I have proof of the program’s effectiveness (long before I would have any other evidence that it is working.)
I don’t know why I haven’t made this explicit connection before but, like I said above, brains are annoying creatures. However, I can’t really blame my brain for trying to hurry the process by coaxing me to start at a higher level and I definitely can’t blame it for all the times it has advised me against sticking with a program that’s making my muscles sore. After all, pain is usually a warning system, isn’t it?
This time however, I think I have brought my brain onside. And I am going to work to keep it here.
Happy New Year, if you happen to be of Persian, Afghan or (many parts of) central Asian origin. To celebrate, here are some images of women athletes from Afghanistan, who have lost the ability to compete since the return of the Taliban to power, but not their desire. I found the protest photos of them in burqas, with their gear, to be very moving. Some have escaped Afghanistan and are continuing their athletic careers. Nowruz Mubarak to all of them: here’s hoping the next year will be better for all women who are unable to participate in sport.
Kimia Yousofi of Afghanistan is now living in Australia. Yousofi, shown running in a black track suit and hijab, was flag bearer for Afghanistan at the Tokyo Olympics. Image: Christian Petersen/Getty Images
It didn’t just feel like a really dark and gloomy winter. It was a very dark and gloomy winter.
CTV news recently reported:
“If you found yourself pining for some sunshine in Ontario in recent months, it’s likely because the province just lived through one of the darkest winter seasons in nearly a century.
According to solar energy data by The European Centre for Medium Range Forecasting (ECMRF), parts of Ontario saw lower levels of solar energy between December 2022 and February 2023 than previously recorded in the last 83 years, or since 1940.”
This weekend when a major snow storm was predicted where I live we just got what the weather folk called a “sustained dreary rain event.”
All of this news about how dark it’s been actually made me feel better about it all. As one Facebook friend wrote, “It’s strangely validating to learn that it really WAS unusually dark and gloomy, not just an artefact of our collective mental state.”
This year I did use my sad lamp regularly. I have one at the office and one at home. I did run off to a sunshine-y place in January. I love Arizona. And I confess I was focused more on knee replacement recovery than anything else. Still, winter was long and it was dark. Today it’s officially over.
