I didn’t ever think I’d say this, but I miss the snow. ❄️
I’ve struggled to like winter for years. It wasn’t until I discovered running and cross country skiing and later, fat biking, that I came to enjoy winter. I needed to keep moving and stay warm. But those activities require snow, and we’re getting fewer and fewer snowy days.
Our Australian relatives visited over the Christmas holidays, hoping for snow, but we had to drive them far enough north to where they were making snow so we could go tubing.
I know that in the grand scheme of climate change and environmental disasters, my personally missing snow is small potatoes.
But still, I may need to find a new approach to winter physical and mental health.
Cross country skiing and fat biking friends, how are you coping?
I left my hatphones at home yesterday because I wanted to have a quiet walk instead of my usual podcast/book listening time.
And besides it just felt like a good day for noticing stuff so I decided to lean into that.
I’m not making this into a lesson in mindfulness or anything but as I was walking, I found it fun to make a list of seven things I noticed as I went along.
And maybe it’s related, maybe it’s a coincidence, but yesterday’s walk did feel more like ‘taking a breather’ than other recent walks have felt.
1) What are my feet doing?
Even though I have been consciously working on it, I realized that I was walking more on the inside edge of my foot today.
So, having noticed, I gave a little thought to walking on the ‘four corners’ of my feet like the YouTube yoga instructors say.
My legs enjoyed the change.
2) How am I breathing?
The ‘four corners’ prompt made me think about my breathing – I’m slowly working on breathing into the sides of my ribs as well as the front and back.
I think someone I follow on Instagram refers to that as ‘breathing on four sides’ but there’s a decent chance I extrapolated that description from something else they said. My brain likes making those kind of leaps.
So, having noticed my breathing, I kept checking in with myself throughout my walk. I wasn’t doing it continuously but it felt good to return to it over and over.
3) Do we have time to stop for a pat or two?
Usually, Khalee and I take the business of walking VERY seriously.
Khalee is deciding what to sniff next. Image description: Khalee, a medium-sized dog with light brown fur on top and white fur on her paws, belly, ruff and snout, is standing next to some gritty looking snow on a sidewalk. Her body is pointed away from the camera but she is facing a little to the right.
That doesn’t mean we take ourselves too seriously overall but it does mean that walks are about her getting to sniff everything. Walks are not about exercise, they are not about stopping to chat, they are about Khalee’s sniff opportunities and we only stop for her to, ahem, answer calls of nature.
Yesterday though, because I was really in a noticing frame of mind, and because it was warm enough that I didn’t need to wear gloves, I got Khalee to stop so I could pat her head and scratch behind her ears.
Shockingly, she is as soft and furry and great mid-walk as she is when she is curled up next to me at home. And she was very tolerant of my compliments even though she had to pause her sniff-mission in order to receive them.
4) No gloves and borrowed clothes
I love being able to go for a walk without having to put on gloves or snowpants. I did still wear a hat though…my husband’s hat, in fact. And this is his spare jacket, too. It was a borrow-stuff-from-Steve kind of day, apparently.
Guess who left her glasses on the counter? Yep, it was me! I brought my smirk though. Image description: a selfie I took on the sidewalk not too far from my house. It’s a grey day and there is snow behind me next to the sidewalk. I am wearing a blue winter hat that says ‘Fastsigns. More than fast. More than signs.’ on the folded edge, and I am wearing a dark orange jacket with a hood. I’m a middle-aged white woman with a round face, I’m smirking in the photo but it’s a friendly sort of smirk.
5) Decorations are cheery, even out of season
Lots of people still have Xmas decorations up in their trees, on their lawns, and on their railings and I’m happy about it even though they are technically out of season. I’m sure there are lots of reasons they have been left up but today I decided they were left up for me to enjoy and I felt grateful about it.
I also felt grateful for the few houses that have hearts decorating their windows and I decided that I’ll going to put some heart decorations up in my window too. Even though I live on a cul-de-sac and few people go walking past my house, maybe they will cheer someone up.
6) A lot of people in my neighbourhood have wood stoves or outdoor fire pits
My walk was regularly punctuated by the welcoming smell of wood fires.
Every time I smelled a new one, I sent the people a little wish for good company, good comfort, and good snacks around that fire.
Maybe that’s a weird thing to do but that’s exactly the kind of thing that I do all the time. Probably best to get used to it.
7) I delight in unexpected greenery
Apparently one of the houses on my route – a house I have passed almost daily since last June – has ivy on the side of it.
Okay, it may not be ivy, I’m not up on these things, but the the fact remains that there is a house on my walk that has greenery covering a side wall and I have never noticed before.
I could only snap a quick photo because of the aforementioned sniffing business (the sniffing needs to get done and I do NOT want that task to fall to me!) but look at that wall of greenery! Isn’t that marvellous?
You’ll probably have to zoom in to see clearly, this is a quick iPhone shot. Image description: a photo taken across the street shows a wall of a brick house that is covered in greenery (ivy maybe?) The house is only partially visible behind a snowbank and the photo was taken at an angle that minimizes the possibility for recognizing the location.
I don’t know why I haven’t noticed (or maybe I noticed and forgot?) There’s a dog near this spot that is sometimes off-leash and Khalee gets a little ansty about that. And there’s often someone out front in another house nearby and I often say hi to them. And I guess this spot is shaded by trees in the summer. Could be lots of reasons I haven’t noticed before but I was happy to notice today.
(Also, why is still so green? Is this a vine-based evergreen? Clearly, there is more to discover here!)
ANYWAY!
The long and the short of it was that Sunday’s walk was especially good and I enjoyed myself immensely.
Khalee says that the slightly warmer weather meant that she had some especially good sniffs.
We thought you’d want to know. 😉
For some reason that part of the snow required extra sniffing. Let’s not speculate as to why. Image description: a side view of Khalee’s shoulders, head, and front paws. She’s a medium-sized dog with light-brown and white fur and she is leaning her head forward so she can sniff the snow-covered ground intently.
I know people have been calling it International Winter Bike to Work Day but that’s just the kind of thing that annoys my friends and relatives in Australia and New Zealand. It’s not winter in February there.
Here’s me riding my bike in February 2012 in New Zealand.
It’s definitely not winter in New Zealand in February
It most definitely is winter here right now.
And it’s Winter Bike to Work Day this Friday.
Thankfully. it’s also a mild-ish looking week for February. It might be the perfect time to get back on the bike.
There’s winter weather I love and winter weather, I hate. For the past two months, it’s been a solid, hateful grey. We’ve had no bright snow and almost no sunshine. It’s not just me making this up. According to the weather people, it’s been the cloudiest January in more than a decade. Between the bad weather and my fear of falling on the ice, I haven’t been doing very many fun outdoor winter things. I’ve been enduring, not enjoying, winter.
Bright blue sky and Sam
But then this weekend, the weekend we’d booked ages ago to drive north and visit my youngest adult child at the resort where he’s been working was stunning. It was absolutely glorious. Bright white snow, brilliant sun, blue skies, and temperatures hovering right around freezing. It’s the kind of weather that can coax even the most anti-winter person to get outside and play. I’ve been craving this.
We spent the day hiking and cross-country skiing in Algonquin Park.
First, the Beaver Trail.
Miles narrating from the Beaver Trail guide, which seemed to be written by a guy who didn’t like beavers very much at all.
We decided to take a short cut across the lake. But we weren’t wearing snow shoes and the snow was deep. We kept crunching through the snow, and it was very unstable. I was very much regretting leaving snow shoes in the car trunk. I haven’t fallen since knee replacement surgery, and frankly, the whole idea of falling makes me very nervous. I’m a long way from my Aikido days.
The bad news is that I did fall. Slowly and gracefully and gently into the very deep snow. The good news is that it was just fine. I laughed. We all laughed. My kid rescued me. I’m feeling a bit better about falling now.
It was a tough hike for me. Icy steps and lots of hills, but it was lovely to have family to help.
Second, Miles had to work in the late afternoon, and so Sarah and I decided to give cross country skiing a go, taking advantage of the longer days. I hadn’t been in years. I used to cross country ski up here for full days, taking advantage of the little cabins in the park they have to warm up and eat lunch. My knees hurt too much for a few years before surgery, and after I’ve been recovering and there’s a definite lack of snow in Southern Ontario this year.
We set out to the Leaf Lake Trail, strapped on our skis, and set out. I was terrified. Me and my new knees don’t like the wobbly feeling that comes with skis. I could feel every muscle in my leg tense up. I considered taking them off immediately. I didn’t want to get on to a one-way loop trail that was 5 km long. What if I just couldn’t do it? There’s no way to come back.
Sarah suggested we just start out on the two way section that connects the trails. And we did. I made it. Even though that’s all I did, I’m counting this as a victory. I’ll be back! Fear number two faced.
Today, it’s Sunday, and we’re heading home. Also, the grey is back. We really appreciated the sunshine. There’s also some beauty in the grey and whites of winter.
Yes, it may be brutally cold and relentlessly grey, but we’re halfway to spring. And I suppose that is true, but the thing is, it’s not really spring that I’m craving.
I’m not even craving a trip south to warm weather. I know, who am I even?
It feels weird to say this, but what I’m craving is enjoyable winter.
What’s my winter ideal? Sunny, -5, and snowy. That weather, of which we’ve had none so far, is perfect for hiking, dog walking, snow shoeing, cross country skiing, and fat biking.
All of the photos accompanying this post are from sunny winters past.
This very, very grey frigid gloom might be our new climate norm, and I know there are bigger, scarier reasons to care about that, but right now, I’m just desperately missing the bright sun on the white snow.
How’s your winter going, if it’s winter where you are?
An aside: I just had some Australian relatives visiting, and I’m very aware that it’s not winter everywhere.
I’ve always thought these “Polar Bear dips” (where people voluntarily run or jump into open bodies of water in the winter) were rather silly events. Why on early would anybody want to subject themselves to cold, icy and potentially dangerous (read: hypothermia, heart attacks) conditions? How ridiculous.
And then.
I started to have conversations with someone I’m getting to know and is becoming a good friend. It turns out they are a huge fan of an apparently popular thing called cold water immersion. They swear by it; it helps them with mental focus and clarity, aching joints, malaise, you name it. So in an effort to understand them more, I embarked on my own cold exposure protocol. For two months now, I’ve been starting my showers with 3 min of cold water only, followed by regular warm shower. While it’s quite a shock walking into a cold water shower, afterwards I feel a very pleasant cooling sensation across my upper body and upper legs. It’s a nice change from those raging fires of menopause!
I have also been doing a 5-minute outdoor meditation, standing outside on my front porch in my shorts and t-shirt and practicing Qigong-style breathing: feet shoulder width apart, knees slightly bent, shoulders back and a breathing cycle of 5 s inhale, 5 s exhale and 5 s breath hold. It’s got to the point where walking outside in the cold air automatically triggers the deep breathing cycle. It’s a great start to my day and I really look forward to it. And in these winter days, I get to see the sun rise (when we get treated to the sun!).
I also joined a Facebook group called “Did you swim today” and there are LOTS of people all over the world who enjoy “wild” swimming or just swimming in cold water. It’s a thing! I love seeing their pictures of swimming in the open water, then all huddled together on the shore in their swim parkas, sipping tea and eating cakes (yes, many cold water swimmers are in the UK). There’s even a group that call themselves the Bluetits! They have outfits and everything!
So seeing as many people experience cold water swimming as fun and/or therapeutic, I thought that maybe a polar bear dip may not be such a weird thing after all. Maybe all those cold showers and outdoor meditations prepared me to change my thinking?
So last week I put out a question to a group of new friends on my swim team: Does anyone know of a New Year’s Polar Bear Dip in London?
THAT got the ball rolling, and soon we were all signed up for a Polar Bear dip at Little Beach in Port Stanley. It was happening!
There were 7 of us from the swim team, but there were lots of other people at the beach, maybe about 50 total. The air temperature was -1C, and the water was 4C. WOW!! My cold exposure protocol definitely “trained” me for this event. In addition to my swimsuit, I wore goggles (they are prescription goggles so that I could see), a swim cap and toque, neoprene gloves, and water shoes. We did a 5 min “acclimation” on the beach, getting used to the cold air in our swimsuits, and I automatically started my breathing cycle. Then everyone starting running into the water! I did as well, and very quickly found out 2 things: 1. Little Beach is VERY SHALLOW for a LONG WAYS; and 2. Those water shoes did NOT protect my feet from the cold. So I realized very quickly that I was NOT going to get any swimming in! After a bit of running, my feet started to hurt from the cold, so I just dropped down into the water (not my head, but the rest of me), and started my breathing cycle again. It felt so invigorating, and I know that my cold showers prepared me for the cold water. I stayed in the water for less than a minute; my feet were SCREAMING, so I ran out, immediately put on my robe and ran to the car to change and warm my very numb feet.
My post-swim attire consisted of 2 pairs of wool socks, winter boots, fleece track pants, t-shirt, wool sweater, parka, mitts and fleece-lined wool toque. I was not shivering, but was a bit concerned about my very numb feet. We went for breakfast and warmed up with hot coffee and food. At first, I felt pretty good, feeling warmed up and not cold at all. Then about 30 minutes later, I felt rather cool within my upper body. It was kind of like after my cold shower, but a bit more intense, so I put my parka back on. It took about 15 min to warm back up.
As for my poor feet, they took a LONG time to recover! I felt a tingling sensation during breakfast, and the feeling came back very slowly. My feet stayed cold until after I got home and put my feet close to our fireplace for about 10 min.
But what a great time! In fact, our group wants to go to the beach once a month, so we’re doing it again in February! I’ve put my order in for neoprene swim boots. Stay tuned for the next cold swim adventure!
Side profile of a person submerged in shallow water with her head and feet above water.
As expected, I haven’t adhered strictly to all of the challenges. Here are some things that are definitely didn’t happen:
Vision board (Apartment Therapy): I am so not making a vision board (no offense to anyone here who is a fan). Maybe this is because a) sorting through hundreds of choices would get me bogged down, never to emerge from the vision-bog again; and b) I sort of have a vision already, which is my place– only rearranged, edited, repaired, and repainted (a set of tasks for spring/summer/uh, whenever). The hard part is the implementation of said vision. I am continuing forward, though: I emptied out a drawer, thew out (or rather put in a box to recycle, donate or throw out, as told by Apartment Therapy) and rearranged the remaining contents. Here’s my before and after:
bathroom vanity drawer before…and after. Donating hotel-acquired tiny toiletries to local shelter.
Exhaustive/exhausting fitness testing (Washingon Post Tuneup): Yes, I agree that knowledge (even about my own level of fitness, etc.) is power. But, I was totally not up for working to fatigue/exhaustion/despair just because the Washington Post said so. Also, I’m extremely unhappy with their category setup for the test.
Do not EVER describe my age group as Golden.
Then, after I pushed the cheery and demeaning “Golden” button, I was told to do the following with measurements of reps and time:
stand on one foot
sit and stand from a chair
run or walk a mile
hang from a pull-up bar
BURPEES!
Okay, these aren’t actually bad. I might try some of them. But starting off a 5-day challenge in this way is daunting. Not so the NY Times’ Day 3 (of their 6-day energy challenge). Their assignment was this:
Over the course of three minutes, you’ll imitate a boxer, a ballerina, a tennis player, a basketball player, a runner, and, to cool down, a yoga practitioner.
This was fun. I pretended to hit a home run from my living room to across the street, imaginarily breaking windows even. The article suggested ballet moves, boxing jabs and footwork, tennis serves and returns, and basketball dribbling and layups (which I never quite got in gym class, but it matters not). I enjoyed myself, and it was a satisfying little exercise amuse-bouche. Yes, exercise snacking is approved by all sorts of health writers on the internet, and there’s some scientific evidence in its favor. I’ll write more about exercise snacking in a future post, but if you need some info now, here’s a graphic explanation from this paper:
I mean, who needs to read a journal article when you have this? Well, there are a few details undepicted…
And then there’s Flow: 30 Days of Yoga with Adriene. I did day 0, which involved listening. But I haven’t done any of days 1–5 yet.
I’m embarrassed. Thanks Dmitri Ratushny, who perfectly illustrated my feelings here (Unsplash).
I don’t know why I never seem to get around to doing Yoga with Adriene. I like Adriene, I like yoga, and I like her dog Benji. But instead of making a commitment to it and setting aside time each day, I just sort of hoped I would spontaneously start doing yoga with Adriene. It doesn’t seem to work that way, though.
On the other hand, I didn’t have to think at all about making a commitment to the writing/art prompts for Suleika Jaouad’s Rumi New Year’s challenge. I’m one day behind, but am steadily plowing through them all. They are behind a series of paywalls, but here is a screen shot of them:
All of these prompts are the first lines from Rumi poetry, and we use them to write or draw something inspired by them.
My lack of art training doesn’t keep me from using my set of multicolored felt tip pens to doodle and noodle and swirl and dot and connect the dots and fill in to my heart’s content. It is so. much. fun. There’s no pressure to perform or attain any level of achievement. All I do is play and enjoy playing. Which, come to think of it, is what I enjoyed about pretending to be a baseball player or ballerina for 3 minutes. There are no expectations, no criteria, and no judging.
So, here’s my January challenge for you, dear readers: schedule in some pretend-activities, which are in fact activities in themselves. You can pretend to be a dancer, a dog, a great artist, an interior designer, a chef, a novelist, a musician, singer, neighborhood explorer, hot-tub swimmer, flower/house-plant arranger. No pressure. No before/after photos. No personal bests. Just fun.
You might take inspiration from this jaunty little yellow frog, who showed up in my search for “challenging”. Maybe it’s not easy being yellow, but it looks great on this little cutie. And January can look great on you, too.
Hey there, cutie-pie! And thanks, Jeffrey Hamilton, for taking this pic. (Unsplash)
You may not have realized it but Thursday, March 30 was a big day.
What was so big about it?
It was the first day since last Fall that I could wear sneakers on my daily walk with Khalee.
Photo evidence! Well, evidence is a strong work, it probably wouldn’t hold up in a court of law. It’s just a photo of my sneakers feet on the pavement, it doesn’t prove that I haven’t worn my sneakers on a walk in months but please cut me some slack here, Your Honour. Image description: a top down photo of my pink sneakers and black leggings as I stand on the salt-speckled asphalt street. The sun is behind me to the right so legs are caring a shadow toward the upper left of the image. The angle of the sun is creating one big shadow out of both of legs so, shadow-wise, it looks like I was hopping on my one giant leg.
And it was one of the first days I could just wear regular pants on my walk instead of adding an extra layer.
It still isn’t *warm* here, only a few degrees below zero but those few degrees make a huge difference for me.
Being able to just throw on a jacket (hat and gloves, too, of course) and put on my sneakers feels way smoother and quicker than adding another pair of pants and lacing up my boots.
It reduces the friction for getting out through the door, it feels like I could drop everything and head out at any time.
(I can always do that, of course, but now it actually *feels* that way, too.)
It just feels EASIER to get out there.
And Khalee is much less impatient with me in the porch. She simply cannot believe how long it takes me to get ready sometimes. (Humans are very weird, apparently.)
Speaking of me being weird, Khalee also can’t believe that I would waste valuable snow-sniffing time by stopping to take her picture. Image description: a n outdoor photo of Khalee, a light-haired, medium-sized dog, is on a neon yellow leash and black/aqua harness. She is standing on the side of the road with snowbanks to her right and she is looking back toward the camera. My shadow, the shadow of the leash and the dog-walking paraphernalia can be seen on the left side of the photo.
So, it’s still cold.
We still have lots of snow.
This isn’t my house in the background and not every lawn has this much snow right now but still, there’s a lot of snow around. Image description: a smirky selfie with a snowbank so high that only the peaked roof of the house is visible behind the snow. I am wearing a green winter hat, my oversized cats-eye glasses, and a green coat. My light brown hair is sticking out from under my hat to rest on my shoulder.
But I am feeling Springish because the sun has been out a lot lately and I can wear my sneakers on my walks.
Sure, it’s not green grass, crocuses, and birdsong but life is easier when I adjust my expectations to my reality, right?
Soon, soon, Khalee and I will be able to sit on these front steps enjoying a cup of tea…ok, I’ll be the only one with tea but we’ll both be out there. Image description: a selfie of me and Khalee on my front steps with part of my house and my door in the background. The sun is shining on us and I’m squinting and smiling as she sniffs my face.
You may not have realized it but Thursday, March 30 was a big day.
What was so big about it?
It was the first day since last Fall that I could wear sneakers on my daily walk with Khalee.
Photo evidence! Well, evidence is a strong work, it probably wouldn’t hold up in a court of law. It’s just a photo of my sneakers feet on the pavement, it doesn’t prove that I haven’t worn my sneakers on a walk in months but please cut me some slack here, Your Honour. Image description: a top down photo of my pink sneakers and black leggings as I stand on the salt-speckled asphalt street. The sun is behind me to the right so legs are caring a shadow toward the upper left of the image. The angle of the sun is creating one big shadow out of both of legs so, shadow-wise, it looks like I was hopping on my one giant leg.
And it was one of the first days I could just wear regular pants on my walk instead of adding an extra layer.
It still isn’t *warm* here, only a few degrees below zero but those few degrees make a huge difference for me.
Being able to just throw on a jacket (hat and gloves, too, of course) and put on my sneakers feels way smoother and quicker than adding another pair of pants and lacing up my boots.
It reduces the friction for getting out through the door, it feels like I could drop everything and head out at any time.
(I can always do that, of course, but now it actually *feels* that way, too.)
It just feels EASIER to get out there.
And Khalee is much less impatient with me in the porch. She simply cannot believe how long it takes me to get ready sometimes. (Humans are very weird, apparently.)
Speaking of me being weird, Khalee also can’t believe that I would waste valuable snow-sniffing time by stopping to take her picture. Image description: a n outdoor photo of Khalee, a light-haired, medium-sized dog, is on a neon yellow leash and black/aqua harness. She is standing on the side of the road with snowbanks to her right and she is looking back toward the camera. My shadow, the shadow of the leash and the dog-walking paraphernalia can be seen on the left side of the photo.
So, it’s still cold.
We still have lots of snow.
This isn’t my house in the background and not every lawn has this much snow right now but still, there’s a lot of snow around. Image description: a smirky selfie with a snowbank so high that only the peaked roof of the house is visible behind the snow. I am wearing a green winter hat, my oversized cats-eye glasses, and a green coat. My light brown hair is sticking out from under my hat to rest on my shoulder.
But I am feeling Springish because the sun has been out a lot lately and I can wear my sneakers on my walks.
Sure, it’s not green grass, crocuses, and birdsong but life is easier when I adjust my expectations to my reality, right?
Soon, soon, Khalee and I will be able to sit on these front steps enjoying a cup of tea…ok, I’ll be the only one with tea but we’ll both be out there. Image description: a selfie of me and Khalee on my front steps with part of my house and my door in the background. The sun is shining on us and I’m squinting and smiling as she sniffs my face.
It didn’t just feel like a really dark and gloomy winter. It was a very dark and gloomy winter.
CTV news recently reported:
“If you found yourself pining for some sunshine in Ontario in recent months, it’s likely because the province just lived through one of the darkest winter seasons in nearly a century.
According to solar energy data by The European Centre for Medium Range Forecasting (ECMRF), parts of Ontario saw lower levels of solar energy between December 2022 and February 2023 than previously recorded in the last 83 years, or since 1940.”
This weekend when a major snow storm was predicted where I live we just got what the weather folk called a “sustained dreary rain event.”
All of this news about how dark it’s been actually made me feel better about it all. As one Facebook friend wrote, “It’s strangely validating to learn that it really WAS unusually dark and gloomy, not just an artefact of our collective mental state.”
This year I did use my sad lamp regularly. I have one at the office and one at home. I did run off to a sunshine-y place in January. I love Arizona. And I confess I was focused more on knee replacement recovery than anything else. Still, winter was long and it was dark. Today it’s officially over.
