Month: July 2014

racing · triathalon · Uncategorized

Race Report: Kincardine Women’s Triathlon 2014

Tracy I4 Comments

KWT post raceWhat a day!  Last year, I fell in love with triathlon through the Kincardine Women’s Triathlon.  Even though I reported it as The Tri That Wasn’t — it became a duathlon because of water temperatures — it was so much more fun that I’d imagined it could be.

This year was even better! The weather was, once again, perfect. The water was a chilly but bearable 15 degrees C (about 62 F) — fine with the wetsuit. The buzz in the air was equally energizing.  And this time, instead of being my first tri, it was my fourth.  I’m familiar with the course, the rules, the transition area.  I felt good going into the race.

As I reported last week in my post on resilience, there were some setbacks for me leading up to the event, when everyone I planned to do it with had to withdraw from the race.  Kincardine is just over two hours from London, on the shores of Lake Huron, so part of the fun is heading up there with a group of friends.  Instead, I drove up alone on Friday afternoon — even Renald had to bail because of work.

By the time I hit the road (after a wonderful afternoon at the Stratford Festival—King Lear with Colm Feore), I felt relaxed. I’d turned my attitude around and was feeling as if the time to chill out alone after the race orientation meeting would help me focus on the event and not have to worry about anyone else.

Also, by the time Friday rolled around I knew there would be at least seven other women from Balance Point Triathlon, the club I’m now training with. I knew several from my swim training through the winter, which is with the same coach.  We would be able to find each other because a few people, including me, would be wearing team suits.  And Natalie was volunteering in the transition area even though she couldn’t race. See her post, “When You Can’t Race.”

I got to the race site at Station Beach  right beside the Kincardine Harbour.  I’ve spent a lot of time in that harbour as a sailor, including back in 2001 when we took shelter there, with a dramatic and terrifying entrance, after getting caught in one of the worst storm Lake Huron had seen since the early twentieth century (for those not familiar with the great lakes, their size means that they can get some extremely heavy weather).

I pulled into Station Beach at exactly 7 p.m. when the race orientation was supposed to start.  A few people were milling around waiting for the briefing. Natalie and her friend Kristen were already there, welcoming me with big smiles on their faces. There were a few retailers and a bike repair tent set up in a little race expo. All in all, there were less than 100 people there for the orientation, far fewer than the 300 or so who would do the race.

The orientation was mostly about the course and what to expect from it.  Since I was familiar with the transition area, the bike course, and the run, I stuck around for the swim overview and then wandered to the expo.  I’ve been in the market for a good triathlon bag, a race belt, and some mirrored swim goggles.  It’s hard not to browse the bike jerseys, tri suits, and running gear. But in the end I kept it to the three items I needed. I got great pricing on a Zoot bag and race belt, and an excellent pair of goggles by Sable.

I tossed my stuff in the car and went down to the water with Natalie and Kristen to check it out. The currents in Lake Huron and the way the flow into Kincardine mean that the water temperature can be quite changeable.  This year alone it has dropped from 20 degrees C down to 5 degrees C over the course of a week.  We stepped into the water and it was completely bearable.  As long as the wind held calm and the currents didn’t change, things were looking good for the swim.

When I checked into my hotel, it turned out that Natalie and Kristen had the adjacent room. We had a brief snack time and chit chat before I felt as if the day had caught up with me and it was time to turn in.

Slept badly.

Race morning I gave myself lots of time to shower and prep my tri-bag and go over my checklist a few times, pack up my stuff so I could check out of my room, eat my cereal (I always travel with my own bowl, spoon, vegan cereal, soy milk, and fruit).  I walked into the breakfast room downstairs to make myself a tea and immediately ran into two women from the club. They too were excited, wearing their club gear.  We all wished one another luck at the race.

The buzz down at the race site was at a high pitch already by the time I arrived just after 7:30. I rode my bike around the parking lot to make sure everything was in working order, then dropped it off in the transition area and headed over to pick up my race kit, timing chip, and bathing cap, and do the body marking.  My bib was number 100 this year (last year it was 200).  I’m not superstitious but I felt good about this solid, even number.

Next stop, transition area to set things up. This is for me one of the most important parts of a good race. I like to make sure I have a very clear sense of where my bike is. The racks were well marked, by number. I set my bike right beside the second post in and put my towel down beside it.  It looked like this:

ktw 2014 transition

If you’ve ever been to a race, you’ll know that the announcers are busy through the morning doing a combination of hyping people up and making sure everyone has the information they need to have a good race.  The Ontario Triathlon Association had a representative at the race whose job it was to make sure everyone followed the rules. The rules kick in even before the race. The announcers were reminding us all that anyone who even test rode their bike without a helmet could be disqualified.

By about 8:30 I put on my wetsuit and went for a practice swim to warm up. The water felt warmer than the reported 15 degrees C.  The wetsuit helps a lot (I can’t imagine what the swim was like for those who didn’t use one) of course, but I have found in the past that my hands and feet and face can get really cold when the water is cold. That didn’t happen this time, so I felt encouraged before the swim even started.

I am highly aware right now that I’m rambling — if you’ve read this far thank you for bearing with me!  So let’s get to the race!

A nice touch at Kincardine is that the swimmers are taken down to the beach from the transition area by a bagpiper. For the KWT, they have a woman in full Scottish garb doing the pipes, and it’s beautiful and moving. We followed her to the beach — soft white sand and clear, blue water.  I like being able to see the bottom, and Lake Huron is famous for that.

The Swim: 400 metres

The three waves started 3 minutes apart and I was in the last wave. I don’t know if it’s because I warmed up, or I now know what to expect, or it was just a good day, but I felt totally relaxed before the start. When it was my waves turn, I positioned myself right up at the front. I had noticed in previous waves that the swimmers at the back had to run further into the water before they could start swimming because of the people in front of them.  I wanted to start swimming as soon as possible.

We counted down 5-4-3-2-1 and off we ran, into the water. As soon as I was thigh deep I started to swim. Jostling for a position at the beginning is always a challenge. I swam into a few people at the beginning, getting a leg in the face here and an elbow there, but I soon settled into my pace.  As in the Cambridge race, I soon began to pass people and that built my confidence.  My form got away from me a bit and then I remembered how coach Gabbi always encourages us to focus on one thing. I chose focusing on the way my hand entered the water and pulled (as if going over the cliff–hard to explain here but effective), and my stroke improved right away.

400 metres is short. Before I knew it I’d rounded the second corner and could see the inflated blue pillars of the swim finish. I kept up my stroke and when I got to knee deep water I jumped up and ran to the transition area.

Time: 8:58 (35th place out of 162)

T1:

Last year when I ran into T1, almost all the bikes were gone already. This year, not so! Progress!  I found my bike and pulled off the wetsuit.  I brushed off as much sand as I could from my feet, wiped them with a towel, donned my helmet and sunglasses, threw on socks and shoes, grabbed the bike, and ran out of transition.

The Bike: 12 kim

12 km isn’t a long way, so I thought I should be able to push myself. It’s a pleasant route with only one technical part — a downhill into a turn near the beginning. I got hung up there behind someone who pulled hard on her brakes and crept down that part. It seemed dangerous to try to pass her even though I knew I could get down there a lot faster. But whatever. I pedaled hard out of that part and settled into the bike ride.  This is by far the part of my race that needs the most work.  I enjoyed it but more people passed me than I passed. The hill that just about killed me last year was no problem this year.  The woman right in front of me at the dismount line fell to the side of her unclipped foot, which slowed me down as a wave of empathy swept over me.

Time for T1+bike+T2: 33.38 (112th out of 162)

The Run 3 km

I dumped my helmet and bike shoes, had a quick drink, slipped on my running shoes and ran out of the transition area. When I was on the beach waiting for the swim, I was chatting with a woman who was telling me that her last race was satisfying because she fulfilled her goal of not stopping.  I decided to go into the run with that goal in mind — over 3 km, I thought to myself, I can surely keep going without having to take a walk break.  This was the best decision of the race.

At the beginning of the run my legs felt heavy. I was dying for a drink and the only water station was set up at the turnaround point (1.5 km). I played tag team with a woman who took quite a few walk breaks and then would sprint ahead. She was carrying her own water bottle, which I wanted to snatch out of her hand each time she passed me or I passed her!  After the turnaround, my legs started to feel lighter. I fell into pace beside a young woman. We began to chat a bit but then I realized that if I’m chatting, I’m not at race pace! We were coming into the home stretch and I said to her, “let’s pick up our pace as we head to the finish line.” And so we did.

Run time: 19:38 (105th out of 162)

Total: 1:02:12 (92nd out of 162)

I’m happy with my result.  I wanted to make it out of the bottom third, and I’m close now to making it out of the bottom half overall. Might not seem like a big aspiration, but I’ll be thrilled to creep out of the bottom half!

Also, though last year was a duathlon, I shaved close to 20 minutes off of my time from last year, including over 5 minutes off the bike, and improved my run pace by more than 1 minute per km. I came in 173/199 last year. This year: 92/162. Last year I marvelled at the women who completed in an hour. This year, I was just 2 minutes and 12 seconds short of that.

It was also great to run as part of a team. At the finish line, I gathered with all the other women from Balance Point Triathlon for team pictures and chatter about the race.  I didn’t mind that my one-man cheering squad couldn’t be there. The camaraderie of all the other women made for an amazing race day.

Kincardine Women’s Triathlon, I’ll see you next year!

 

Natalie, world's best transition volunteer!
Natalie, world’s best transition volunteer!
KWT team
Balance Point Triathlon Team
Kristen and me post race.
Kristen and me post race.

 

family · fitness

The quantified life: Children’s fitness trackers and the spectre of parental surveillance

Sam B6 Comments

In a world in which you can buy a device for your preschooler to wear that tracks their every movement and allows you to listen to all of their conversations, it’s no surprise that personal sports gadget manufacturers have developed versions of the FitBit, and other FitBit like things, for kids. Of course they have. You could see this one coming a mile away.

See this story on wearable tech for kids.

On the one hand, I can see children really enjoying making a game of physical activity and movement. And that’s great. We all think children should move more and have fun doing it.

On the other hand, I’m a philosopher and one who thinks about childhood and its value, children’s rights, child well being, and family justice. With that hat on, I see shades of Foucault, discipline and punishment and Bentham’s panopticon. I wonder and worry about tracking devices in the hands of controlling parents.

I’m not worried about the alienation of children from free play. I’m not worried about the gamification, as they say, of play for kids. They’re kids. Everything is already a game.

But I am worried about this technology in the hands of parents. It’s the spectre of FitBit as surveillance tool. Not enough steps today? No dessert for you. Or walk your way to television hours. Time to use computers and watch TV must be earned in physical activity. Some experts on child inactivity think that parental over policing of childhood play is part of the problem. Outdoor play, in particular, is seen as dangerous and risky.

And those are the reasonable parents. In this time of heightened fear about the obesity crisis it’s hard to be a reasonable parent. Almost every parent I know is worried about their kids getting fat. Children are on the  front lines of the war against obesity. As we realize how hard is to change adult body weight, the focus of policy makers shifts to the young. The thought is that if we can stop obesity either before it develops or in its early stages, we can avoid the health problems associated with overweight and obesity.

Parental anxiety about the pediatric weigh in looms large. I’ve written about the fear of having fat pets. Worse again if they are your kids, rather than your Bassett hounds, for example.. You’re a bad mother or father, though more likely the former. Dads rarely get blamed.

Consider that a number of families have been split up over obesity and you can see where the fear comes from. In Canada, the United States, and England (other places too probably) obese children have been removed from their homes and placed in foster care.

Here’s one woman’s account of having strangers comment on her right to parent based on the size of her child.

“If you let her keep getting fatter, they are going to take her away from you.” Stunned, I turned to the woman who said this to me. I struggled to find words to respond as she pushed past me, out of the restaurant, and into a waiting car. Having just finished a late meal after our children’s choir concert, I did not expect to find myself explaining to my daughter what this woman had meant when she suggested that my daughter could be “taken away” from me because she is fat (though not remarkably so) and perhaps more to the woman’s point, because I am remarkably fat.”

–See http://gendersociety.wordpress.com/2014/05/19/weighty-matters/

So another tool for parents to monitor and control their kids movements, in this context, makes a lot of sense. Parents can tell the judge they were doing something. “Look, I bought a FitBit for my chubby child.”

It might not just be the parents. Schools might also get involved given that they’ve been issuing BMI report cards. In a Staten Island schools Gwendolyn Williams, 4’1 and 66 pounds found out she was overweight by peeling back the sticker on top of the BMI number. See This kid is fat.

The spectre of FitBitted teens also put me in mind of Corey Doctorow’s young adult novels. Haven’t read Little Brother? Download it from here. I loved the scene where the young teens fool their school’s security biosensors by putting rocks in their shoes so they’d walk differently. Imagine teen hackers having fun with their FitBits. Yes, of course, I ran a marathon today mom, now hand over that pizza and the Xbox.

There are a slew of reasons to be in favour of children moving more. Mental health and emotional well-being, to be sure, but even improved body composition, regardless of weight. See Fit Kids Have Better Body-Fat Distribution, Study Finds.

So to be clear, I’m not opposed to FitBits for kids. Kids love computers, games, and measuring things. And that’s great. But parents and teachers, let’s leave the kids alone and let them play. I suspect it will all work out better that way.

See this Business Insider story on turning exercise into video games.

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charity · cycling · Guest Post · traveling

Six Things I Learned on my Six-Week Bike Tour (Guest Post)

Mallory2 Comments

image

This spring I got the amazing, incredible opportunity to go on a two-month bike trip with a charity called the Otesha Project. (My mom blogged a bit about it here.) There were fourteen of us from across Canada who came together to spend two months biking and performing across the east coast. We started in Fredericton at the beginning of May and ended near Halifax at the end of June. Along the way, we performed to more than 5000 people to start conversations about the environment and about sustainable living. (You can read all of our blog posts from the road here).

“The Otesha Project is a national youth-led charitable organization that uses experiential learning, theatre and bicycle tours to engage and empower Canadians of all ages to take action for a more equitable and sustainable world.“

This is a list of the six most important things I learned while on this awesome adventure…

  1. Know your bicycle

Sounds obvious I know but you’d be surprised what can go wrong with six weeks on the road. I was lucky, my bicycle only had one major issue (flat tire caused by worn out tire with rips in sidewalls requiring me to purchase a new tire during the middle of a ride). But other members of tour were less lucky- one person had to replace her wheel right before tour started unexpectedly since it wasn’t true, one person had a faulty tire which kept breaking spokes and eventually needed replacing and several people had minor issues such as multiple flat tires and broken quick releases.

More importantly, know your bike’s quirks and what tools are needed to fix it. Most of us had bicycles that could be tuned up with our multi-tool but several people had quirky bicycles that required wrenches or special tools to maintain or fix them. Know what tools you need and have them.

  1. Ask For Help

One of the best things about the tour for me was all the generous people who helped us out along the way. As much as our group tried to remain independent and self-sufficient, there were times when we needed to ask for help. We had people who drove sick or injured tour members to our next location, local bike shops that offered free labour to help us keep our bikes going, people who helped us figure out the best bike routes and people who talked to us about their bike trips and offered us helpful advice.

My most helpful person on the trip was a local bike store owner who brought me a new tire when mine broke about 10km outside the town. We called him to ask for advice on how to fix it or whether we would have to bike back into town. Instead he came out himself with a new tire and helped me install it on my bicycle.

  1. Pack Lots of Food

When you spend most of your day outside and a fair chunk of it riding, you will get hungry a lot. Carrying enough food to get you through the day is an important part of packing. On our tour, we would each pack lunch together in the morning before leaving. We also all carried snacks. But occasionally, somebody would run out of food due to the ride being longer/harder than expected or the particular meal not being as filling as others. For that reason, several of us starting carrying around our own personal jar of peanut butter in case we desperately needed a snack.

  1. Pack Lightly

When you have to carry everything you are taking with you on your bicycle, how much stuff you have makes a big difference. I found I had too much warm clothing, especially when it started warming up in June.

On the other hand, have what you need. It sucks arriving somewhere after a long day of riding in the rain only to find that you have no dry socks left. Or riding all day in the rain with a raincoat that isn’t properly waterproof. It’s a hard balance.

  1. Find Good Riding Buddies

You will spend lots of time with your team mates, especially on a six-week trip. This trip had a wide range of people selected by the Otesha office to come on tour. Some of us, like me, had done other shorter bike trips before. Others had no previous bike touring knowledge but were interested more in either the theatre or the environmental aspect of the tour. That was one of the great things about tour, all the different people coming together to form a community.

  1. Try New Things

One of the aspects that had me most nervous before tour was the theatrical aspect. As part of this tour we performed to over 5000 people, mostly in schools, about the environment and sustainable living. Our play that we performed was short, cheesy and actually tons of fun. It became one of my favourite parts of tour, performing
to different communities along the way. It was a new experience for me.

Other new things on tour included learning how to cook for a group of fourteen cyclists, bicycle maintenance, navigating in unfamiliar cities, group decision-making as well as performing our play. Lots of new experiences!

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Mallory Brennan is a studying music and computers at Western University. She enjoys Aikido, swimming and singing in many choirs. During the school year, Mallory is far too busy for her own good but enjoys life nonetheless. You can read about her love of singing here.

hiking

6 Steps to Overcoming Hiking Phobia—A Trip to Mt. Katahdin

catherine w4 Comments

I am, by nature and personal history, most definitely NOT a hiker. As a child growing up near the coast of South Carolina—an area not known for being mountainous—my outdoorsy activities centered around this:

The Beach

 

However, since moving to New England, it has come to my attention that many people this to be pleasurable:

scary hike

 

A host of hiker-friends have made efforts to induct me into the hike-o-philia club, but so far in vain. What has gone wrong?

First of all, I was psychologically unprepared for the experience—rocks, relentless climbing, steepness, duration, the whole bit. Basically, I had this idea that hiking meant walking on dirt through the woods, preferably near a lake, for about 1—2 hours, followed by a picnic. Second, every time someone took me on a hike, the pace was faster than I could handle comfortably—in other words, it was a complete misery. Finally, the gap between my experience (out of breath and vaguely fearful) and everyone else’s (happy, energetic and accomplished) made me feel very alienated, both from the activity and the other people in my group.

Despite a dark history of failed or unpleasant hikes, I have resolved to conquer hiking, or at least make my peace with it. Why? Well, in part because my boyfriend Dan is an inveterate hiker. He’s hiked the Annapurna Circuit in Nepal, climbed Mt. Whitney in California in summer and Mt. Washington in New Hampshire in winter. We cycle, cross country ski, kayak and play squash together, and I would like to add the occasional hiking trip to that list. Also, lots of my friends hike often, and in the name of being social I’d like to be able to join in.

Most importantly though, the fact that hiking has been so hard and unpleasant irks me, so I want to overcome this problem by learning to love (or at least not hate) hiking.

So to forward my goal—induct Catherine into the hike-o-philia club—I decided to go on a group hiking trip. Dan proposed going to Mt Katahdin in Baxter State Park in Maine. This area is very rugged. The park limits visitors and has no potable water or electricity in its campgrounds. It is beautiful, with dozens of trails, ponds with canoe rentals and swimming. It is also the northern end of the Appalachian Trail, so many through-hikers end their journey there.

Dan sent email to a bunch of folks that he was reserving a bunkhouse for 10 people for the 3-night trip, and within 3 hours we were at capacity. Each one of these folks—ranging in age from 29 to 65—was a very experienced and adept hiker, and most of them had serious backpacking experience. All were excited about their proposed hike: summit Baxter Peak and then Pamola via the Knife Edge Trail. Knife Edge is famous in New England for its steepness and sheer drop-offs, as well as the frequent high winds along this very narrow trail.

wpid-knife-edge-3.jpg

There was absolutely no way I was going to do this hike. It was way above my skill level, my fitness level and my comfort level. But could I go on this serious hiking trip and still make progress on my hike-o-philia goal? Yes! How did this happen? I’ve outlined 6 steps below.

Step 1: Don’t think too much; just go on the trip

I just decided to go with Dan and other friends, even though I wouldn’t be doing the Knife Edge route. I knew that I could swim, canoe, read a book, stroll somewhere, or even go on a hike of my own, all of which I could decide on later.

Step 2: Get active before the trip

I had been cycling a lot this summer, so was in decent cardio shape. I did some exercises for quad strengthening and did a little hill climbing as well. This helped me build confidence.

Step 3: Enjoy and appreciate the non-hiking features of the trip

We were at Baxter for 3 nights, so we had lots of time for other really fun outdoorsy activities—swimming, canoeing, cooking outside, picnicking on rocks near a waterfall, and strolling to a nearby pond to see moose. We saw this mother and baby.

moose in water at forest's edge

Step 4: Decide on a hike that suits your attitude that day

The night before my friends’ epic 10-hour hike, everyone was packing gear and making food, getting ready for the big day. I got caught up in their excitement, and with encouragement, decided to do my own hike. I chose the Chimney Pond trail, a 6.6 mile (about 10 km) out-and-back hike, with a 1425-foot (438 meter) elevation gain. That seemed like a lot to me, but I knew I could turn back at any time, and since I was hiking alone, I could go at my own pace. This trail is also one of the most heavily-trafficked in the park, so I wouldn’t really be alone. Everyone was encouraging, and their enthusiasm was infectious. So off I went.

Step 5: Learn to let go and let hike…

Starting off, I was nervous but excited. I knew I was going the same way Dan and my friends had, and it felt good to be a part of that scene. I had left around 9:30am, which is apparently way after the hiking rush hour (most groups left by 7am). So I was alone on the trail. Soon enough, the trail became rocky, and parts were (in my view) quite steep. It took a while for me to settle into a rhythm and accept the fact that I would be, well, hiking for much of the day. After about 45 minutes, I found a scenic area and took some pictures. It was just beautiful. Also, soon I started running into folks on the trail, which is especially fun for a chatty person like me.

I made it to Chimney Pond and was rewarded by a beautiful view of Mt. Katahdin, which consists of the peaks my friends were climbing. Lunching at the edge of the pond, squinting to try to make out some signs of hikers along the summit trail, I felt a sense of accomplishment. Of course, there was still the hike down to go. It was slower, and near the end I was tiring. Although I appreciated the freedom to set my own pace, I missed having company. I plan to go on some hikes with faster friends soon, learn how to pace myself, get a little faster, and in service of becoming a happy part of a mixed-abilities group.

chimney hike

Step 6: Don’t forget your hiking boots

The whole trip might have been less stressful if I hadn’t left my hiking boots behind in my living room. Oops. Dan and I realized that my boots were not in the car when we were about 2 hours away—far too late to do anything about it. I did have teva sandals with me, which were fine for the easy strolls and short hikes. With everyone’s encouragement, though, I decided to embark on the long hike in sandals and socks (with hiking poles to help me), and it went fine.

Already plans are underway for more hiking trips, including a fall 2015 New Zealand trek during my sabbatical. My hiking phobia is definitely on the wane. However, I’m hoping that I don’t have to repeat the no-hiking-boots experience anytime soon.

hike with pools in teva sandals

athletes · competition · Guest Post · swimming · triathalon

(Wet)Suiting Up! (Guest Post)

stephkkeating8 Comments

On Sunday, I’ll be racing in my very first sprint triathlon! My first two guest blogs here touched on cycling and running (though the running post isn’t specifically about triathlon training), so now I think it’s time to talk about swimming.

The swimming is definitely the part that I am most nervous about. I don’t have a very strong swimming background. When I was a kid, I took swimming lessons – this was back when the levels (by Red Cross, I believe) were colours instead of numbers. First was yellow, then orange, then red. I failed red because I didn’t like swimming with my face in the water. Even at a young age, I didn’t like failing things, so I quit after that. 

Those first few lessons were enough, though, to make me comfortable in water. I was never afraid of swimming. In fact, you’d have been hard pressed to drag me out of a body of water (pool, lake, or ocean) whenever we were on vacation. But splashing around and doing underwater somersaults doesn’t exactly translate into being able to swim for an extended period of time.

So, when the idea of doing a triathlon floated into my head, I signed up for swimming lessons at the athletic centre on my campus. After completing two courses, I’m now much more confident in my swimming. I’m still not fast by any stretch of the imagination (my typical swim workout is 1500-1600m in 50-60 minutes), but I’m quite happy with my progress.

The next step was wetsuit swimming. Besides keeping you warm, wetsuits have the added benefit of buoyancy. Weaker swimmers, I’ve been told, often have issues keeping their legs high in the water, which means they have more drag, which slows them down. Get a wetsuit and my swim will be easier, faster, I was told.

Several weeks ago, I ordered a wetsuit, making sure I would have some time to practice with it before the race. I have heard putting the wetsuit on being referred to as the “first event” in a triathlon. I can’t say I disagree – I definitely broke a sweat putting mine on for the first time! 

The first “swim” in it was very strange. I say “swim” because I couldn’t really call it an actual swim. I would do a few strokes of front crawl, then get completely weirded out by the way I was swimming. I think part of the problem was that the wetsuit wasn’t on quite right, and my arms were being pulled towards my back. I tried to do breast stroke – which was going to be my backup if I found myself getting panicked in the race – but quickly discovered I would need a new backup plan: my legs are so buoyant in the suit that it’s difficult to get them far enough down to do a proper whip kick! All in all, my first experience with the wetsuit largely consisted of me reveling in the fact that I could float vertically in the water with exactly zero effort. I happily realized that I probably couldn’t drown if I wanted to (and I don’t!). 

Admittedly, I was maybe a bit more nervous after that first wetsuit experience than I was before it. Friends assured me that wetsuit swimming would get better. Hoping they were right, I took the suit out again for another try. This time I went with my friend Megan, who  did the triathlon last year and will be racing it this year as well! She’s also a seasoned swimmer and all around awesome person. She showed me some tricks for getting the wetsuit arms up properly, which meant that I no longer felt like they were being pulled towards my back on every stroke. The second swim went much better than the first. It was still definitely very different from pool swimming. One major difference is that there are no walls to push off of every 25 or 50m. I found myself stopping in the water to catch my breath. I should probably note that part of the problem was that we went out on a fairly windy day, and I would get smacked in the face with a wave on every other breath! Megan reassured me that it would not be so choppy on race day, because we’ll be in a protected harbour – phew!

By my third wetsuit swim, I felt like I was actually getting the hang of things. Again, the water was very choppy and very, very cold. I’m hoping that practicing in those conditions will make the race seem “easier”, but I know that might not be the case. Instead of waves, I’ll have to contend with other swimmers – almost everyone I’ve talked to has had an experience getting kicked, elbowed, or otherwise smacked in the face during the swim. My goal is to stay calm during the swim, even if I get kicked in the face, so that I can set myself up for a good bike and run to follow, and hopefully finish my first tri with a smile on my face.

Stephanie left, friend Megan on the right:

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Stephanie is a PhD candidate in Astronomy & Astrophysics at the University of Toronto. She is also a runner, photographer, drinker of craft beer, and a newbie triathlete-in-training.

body image · cycling

Is the “Toronto Trim” the solution to women’s cycling discomfort?

Sam B18 Comments

I don’t mean to get all riled about what other people do with the their genitalia. Fur? No fur? Dye it funny colours or not. Totally up to you. Let many flowers bloom, etc etc.

But I do get suspicious of the social pressures to conform to narrow norms, especially so when it’s surgery rather than hair removal or labia paint we’re talking about.

See my past post on Barbie crotch and the quest for tidy bodies. Certainly surgery is a drastic response to the problem of camel toe.

Why do I end up having people email me stories about this stuff? (Thanks blog reader SB) Because it’s often cycling that’s given as a justification for labial trimming. And yes you read that right, cycling.

CBC’s story on the increase in labiaplasty is typical. It begins with the story of a woman and her bike.

Carrie Anne is a triathlete in her 40’s, biking for 8 to 10 hours at a time but limited by the discomfort caused by the length of her labia. (Due to sensitivity issues and to protect her identity Carrie Anne is a fictitious name.) Thinking it was normal, she lived with it for years until finally getting a labiaplasty, a surgery that ‘trims’ the labia minora or inner labia, the external parts of the female genitalia.

“I was very uncomfortable,” Carrie Anne said. She told CBC’s The Current that the surgery is fantastic. “I just feel much more …it sounds maybe weird to say, but attractive.”

I’ve written before about sensitive girl bits and cycling. But except in extreme cases I don’t think the best answer is to cut them off. Experiment with different saddles and buy good bike shorts first.

What’s the surgery all about?

From the CBC: “Labiaplasty, commonly known as the ‘Toronto Trim’, takes about 30 minutes and surgeons say complications like bleeding and infection are minimal, with patients driving themselves home the same day. It costs between $4,000 to $6,000.”

Aside from the expense, pain, and the risks of surgery, what could be wrong with a little labiaplasty?

First, I’m suspicious of the claim that it’s a rise in popularity of cycling, rather than the spread of the porn star labia aesthetic, that’s fueling the demand for labial cosmetic surgery. It sounds a bit too close to the idea that women’s bodies aren’t suited to bicycling. I thought we’d left the 1890s behind.

Second, and much more seriously, the interests of long term labial comfort may not be best served by cutting and trimming.

The Society of Obstetricians and Gynecologists told the CBC that they don’t perform the surgery because they say there’s no valid reason for it and there is risk of harm.

Labia provide protection and sexual comfort through stretch,” says Blake. “People don’t realize that labia shrink during menopause. Women are having this surgery done when they are young but we have no long term data on it. We have no idea what’s going to happen to these women during menopause.”

I’m not saying there are no women for whom this surgery makes sense. I am wondering about the motivation that is convergence on a single ideal of beauty. And I definitely worry about surgery as a route to cycling comfort when a pair of good cycling shorts might solve problem.

See the vulva love lovely website for feminist vulva art celebrating body diversity.

Uncategorized

Resilience: Learning to Bounce Back

Tracy I9 Comments
Image: bouncing soccer ball. credit: Bouncing Back Blog at Psych Central. http://blogs.psychcentral.com/bounce-back/2011/12/resiliency-bouncing-back-from-adversity/
Image: bouncing soccer ball. credit: Bouncing Back Blog at Psych Central. http://blogs.psychcentral.com/bounce-back/2011/12/resiliency-bouncing-back-from-adversity/

The OED has two definitions of resilience.

1. The ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity.

2. The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.

I’ve been thinking about resiliency lately because I’m going through one of those times where it feels as if life is constantly challenging me.  I won’t get into the life stuff much here, but I also need to call up my resilience when it comes to my athletic pursuits lately.

The most recent setback was more emotional than anything else. I was all stoked (and still am!) for the Kincardine Women’s Triathlon. There were a whole bunch of us making the trip.

Then various realities got in other people’s way. Natalie can’t exert herself right now. Sam has had to take a time out from running. Her sister-in-law, who was also going to do it, has come down with something that’s zapping her energy. Renald, who was going to come along as my cheering crew and photographer, has to work. Tara ended up on the waiting list and by the time they got to her name, she had another commitment!

So it looked like I was going to go to this exciting race by myself. Not my first choice. I hadn’t quite realized just how much the camaraderie of having people I know in the race meant to me!

I knew I wasn’t going to bail, but at one point I thought to myself, “this just isn’t going to be any fun anymore!” What a shitty attitude to take into an exciting and supportive race!

So two things happened. The first was that Natalie, wonderful soul, decided that if she couldn’t participate, she’d volunteer.  Her decision demonstrates awesome resilience. See her post about it here.

The second was that I tapped into my resilience. The race is for me. I can’t expect everyone to be as into it as I am. And in the end, everyone races their own race at their own pace. For all the races I’ve done “with” people, I’ve never done one alongside anyone.  What a great opportunity to stay focused and just go there and do my thing.

I bounced back from a setback.  We need resilience in all sorts of ways when we embark on athletic adventures and fitness programs.  It’s never just a straight trajectory of consistent wins.

I’ve read a few posts on resiliency in various places lately, including this one on the Bounce Back blog, where the author, Bobbi Emel, talks about some of the key elements of resiliency:

Bouncing back comes in all shapes, sizes, and experiences. We’ll be exploring them here on this blog with topics that include:

  • Acceptance – the art of being realistic about what is happening in your world – both good and bad.
  • Social support – generating and accepting help and emotional support from others.
  • Gaining perspective – learning to look at life and adversity from a variety of angles.
  • Finding gifts – the sand that irritates the oyster often becomes a pearl.
  • Learning lessons – the best lessons for growth often come from life’s rough spots.

Some of the circles I move in talk about learning to live “life on life’s terms.”  That means dealing with whatever adversity the world will dish out–the good and the not as good.

In athletic pursuits, it means handling things like injuries and illness, setbacks, the reality of our own limitations, not always performing at our best, or our home or work life encroaching on our training.  It can even mean dealing with the disappointment, as in my case, of people not being quite as excited about our passions as we are.

I like the “bounce back” list because I actually do find I’m most resilient when I can accept rather than resist what’s happening.  Then, I can always call a friend and chat about what’s happening and how I feel about it. That’s the social support that helps keep me afloat. Talking it out also gives me perspective.

I quickly went from feeling abandoned to feeling kind of liberated about this weekend’s race. I haven’t even arrived in Kincardine yet and already I feel like I’ll be running my own race on my own terms. It’s not that I wouldn’t have before, but now I don’t need to worry about anyone else in the morning but myself.

And of course though it’s easy to go to the negative, what a bonus that Natalie is going to be volunteering on race day!  Seeing familiar faces among race volunteers is one of those gifts.  If things work out timing-wise we’ll be meeting for dinner the night before.

As for learning lessons, okay, I admit that this isn’t a huge set-back or anything that many of the people I’d thought were coming to Kincardine aren’t. But I’ve learned from my experience of disappointment that in the end, it’s not about other people. These are my goals. It’s not as if everyone in my life has to drop everything to keep me company and cheer me on whenever I have an event!

It’s also made me grateful that I’ve just recently joined a triathlon club. A few club members are actually attending the race. I know one of them from swim training. And next year I will organize my race schedule to be more in line with the races the club decides to focus on. That will enable me to have the moral support and camaraderie that I have learned I value, even if there is an upside to being independent.

On the American Psychological Association website, there is a piece called “The Road to Resilience.” There, they talk about strong and supportive relationships as a key factor, and say too that:

Relationships that create love and trust, provide role models and offer encouragement and reassurance help bolster a person’s resilience.

Several additional factors are associated with resilience, including:

  • The capacity to make realistic plans and take steps to carry them out.
  • A positive view of yourself and confidence in your strengths and abilities.
  • Skills in communication and problem solving.
  • The capacity to manage strong feelings and impulses.

All of these are factors that people can develop in themselves.

The article goes on to suggest ten ways to develop this quality. Here they are:

10 ways to build resilience

Make connections. Good relationships with close family members, friends or others are important. Accepting help and support from those who care about you and will listen to you strengthens resilience. Some people find that being active in civic groups, faith-based organizations, or other local groups provides social support and can help with reclaiming hope. Assisting others in their time of need also can benefit the helper.

Avoid seeing crises as insurmountable problems. You can’t change the fact that highly stressful events happen, but you can change how you interpret and respond to these events. Try looking beyond the present to how future circumstances may be a little better. Note any subtle ways in which you might already feel somewhat better as you deal with difficult situations.

Accept that change is a part of living. Certain goals may no longer be attainable as a result of adverse situations. Accepting circumstances that cannot be changed can help you focus on circumstances that you can alter.

Move toward your goals. Develop some realistic goals. Do something regularly — even if it seems like a small accomplishment — that enables you to move toward your goals. Instead of focusing on tasks that seem unachievable, ask yourself, “What’s one thing I know I can accomplish today that helps me move in the direction I want to go?”

Take decisive actions. Act on adverse situations as much as you can. Take decisive actions, rather than detaching completely from problems and stresses and wishing they would just go away.

Look for opportunities for self-discovery. People often learn something about themselves and may find that they have grown in some respect as a result of their struggle with loss. Many people who have experienced tragedies and hardship have reported better relationships, greater sense of strength even while feeling vulnerable, increased sense of self-worth, a more developed spirituality and heightened appreciation for life.

Nurture a positive view of yourself. Developing confidence in your ability to solve problems and trusting your instincts helps build resilience.

Keep things in perspective. Even when facing very painful events, try to consider the stressful situation in a broader context and keep a long-term perspective. Avoid blowing the event out of proportion.

Maintain a hopeful outlook. An optimistic outlook enables you to expect that good things will happen in your life. Try visualizing what you want, rather than worrying about what you fear.

Take care of yourself. Pay attention to your own needs and feelings. Engage in activities that you enjoy and find relaxing. Exercise regularly. Taking care of yourself helps to keep your mind and body primed to deal with situations that require resilience.

Additional ways of strengthening resilience may be helpful. For example, some people write about their deepest thoughts and feelings related to trauma or other stressful events in their life. Meditation and spiritual practices help some people build connections and restore hope.

The key is to identify ways that are likely to work well for you as part of your own personal strategy for fostering resilience.

It’s a great article and I recommend reading the whole thing. Resilience is a great quality in athletics and in life.  For me, it’s about taking a mature attitude towards life’s challenges, disappointments, set-backs, and struggles.  Instead of taking them personally, I’m learning to roll with them and even sometimes to turn the around.

On that note, I have to say that I’m super excited about the Kincardine Women’s Triathlon, hoping that the water is warm enough that the swim doesn’t get cancelled this year! And if it does, I’ll deal with that too.

advertising · body image · eating

Precision Nutrition, why the photo contest?

Sam B14 Comments

Dear Precision Nutrition,

In short, love your content and your coaching, hate your photo contest

I know, I know. It’s advertising. It’s very effective advertising, I’m sure, but it seems so inconsistent with your own programming and the lessons you teach.

My email box is full these days is messages like this one from Precision Nutrition:

In the next week, I’m giving away $50,000 to the top women’s finalists
from our latest Precision Nutrition Coaching group. And I’m having a tough time choosing the winner. If you click this link below, you’ll be able to check out our top women’s finalists. You’ll also be able to vote for who gets the prize money.

Which woman do you think had the best transformation?

You can see some of the winners here.

First, judging results based on appearance is inconsistent with your messaging throughout the program that what matters is health, strength, and physical and emotional wellness.

Second, isn’t it all about habits not results? Or I have missed something?

Third, throughout the program we were coached not to compare ourselves to others. People progress towards their goals at different rates. It’s your own journey. But then it ends with a giant exercise in comparison.

Finally, I thought it was about lifetime lifestyle changes, not end of a year eyeballing. I liked the emphasis on internal versus external transformations and thought PN’s lean eating program was about the former, not the latter.

As a participant in your program the photo shoot felt like a high school beauty pageant and figure competition, neither of which I’ve ever had any interest in participating in.

And yes, there was lots of room to opt out but then it felt like the last months of the program excluded me. I was also amused and disturbed, alternately, by the discussions about how to get good after photos. Artificial tanning, really? Skin cancer anyone? Okay, then spray tan instead. But that’s very much not my thing. Exercise first to get good muscle definition? How to reduce water for better muscle definition? Again, not my thing.

Given that the “before” photos were mostly selfies done with cell phones and timers it’s no surprise how much better they look. As you know, under these conditions you could do same day before and after photos get pretty good results.

Image from Business Insider, http://www.businessinsider.com/before-and-after-weight-loss-exposed-2013-8 Australian Personal Trainer Debunks Those Infuriating ‘Before And After’ Weight Loss Pictures.

Lean Eating photo shoot defenders say it’s not about six pack abs or sculpted quads. It’s about confidence, about a certain sparkle in the eye, about posture. But that’s not what it felt like to me. It felt like one more time that women’s bodies were being judged not on what they could do but on how they looked in a two piece bathing suit.

Look at the photos from January 2013. What do you think?

Here’s the company’s description of the photos: “A great feature of our Lean Eating Coaching Programs is the body transformation contest we run for men and women: every 6 months, we give big prize money away for the best body transformations in the program….Over the last week or so, the coaches and I have spent countless hours poring over physique photos, weight loss numbers, body composition data and participation records in order to choose a handful of finalists.”

In the end, I did get photos done though I didn’t enter the competition or share them widely. I actually loved the photo shoot experience. I did them with my friend and guest blogger Nat. See her post, On boudoir photos and plastic guitars. And I wrote about my photo shoot in my review of the Precision Nutrition program. I loved the photo shoot as a body affirming experience, not as getting “after” photos done.

I wrote, “I do look different in the photos a professional photographer took, but hey, she’s a pro. And she’s not using my smart phone propped up on a bookshelf in timer mode.  Besides the pricey real camera, she’s also got on her side: make up, talent, good lighting, flattering poses and postures, and a great attitude. See Nat’s take on our experience, On boudoir photos and plastic guitars (Guest post). So much fun. I highly recommend it as a body affirming experience. Don’t wait til you’re thin. (In fact, don’t ever put things off til you’re thin. You might never be thin, so what? Is that so scary? Go now.)”

In short here are my beefs with the Lean Eating/Precision Nutrition photo shoots:  Yes, the winners get prizes but it’s also free advertising for the company. On balance, I imagine, it’s a good deal. But I fear that the bikini style photo competition misrepresents the tone of the company’s own materials which tend to be about intuitive eating, body acceptance, and focus on habits not outcomes. Results after a year also aren’t really relevant. What ought to matter is how people are faring two, five, ten years out. It’s also not about the best transformations. Your results may vary, as they say. Results not typical, etc. What people who care about results ought to know is what percentage lean eaters lose weight/body fat and keep it off. I’ve been thinking about this for while and the recent crop of “best transformations” photos got me thinking about it again. Months later it still feels wrong to me.

Tracy and I have both written about the near impossibility of keeping weight off. See Sam and Tracy Respond …. What would be very useful are stats on how well past participants do over time. To my mind that would be the real hallmark of success. I know that data is hard to get and track but in the meantime, just quit with the before and after photos. It’s not what you’re really about.

Thanks for listening,

Sam

 

cycling

Biking Holiday on Manitoulin Island

Sam B8 Comments

Apologies to friends on Facebook, as you’ll have seen a lot these pictures and heard our travel plans on a day by day basis, but I thought it would be fun to share them with the larger blog community and nice too to have them all in one place.

My partner and I had a great time cycling on Manitoulin Island (the largest island in a freshwater body of water in the world) and we’re already thinking of going back, next time with a larger group of friends and family. The country roads were just about perfect. No traffic, rolling hills, and lots of great views. There’s a lot of wildlife. On the road it was deer and turtles mostly though we did have one very free range hen run across the road in front of us. The island also has a rich history that you’ll learn about as you travel around, including lots of First Nations history and culture. The island is actively trying to promote bike tourism and there’s a great website here.

I love cycling holidays. I find riding a bike the perfect speed to see a new place and I love the combination of riding and sightseeing. We’ve done a bunch of bike holidays before, some unsupported and others in varying degrees of luxury.

The challenge with riding independently is that our nice road bikes are not great for carrying stuff. Yet on a multi-day outing, they’re the bikes we want. After looking around and reading online we decided to buy a trailer, big enough to hold our gear for a week long cycling adventure. You can see it the pictures below.

We planned to stay in B & B’s and motels, no camping, so we packed a few changes of clothes each, planning to do laundry en route, snacks, sun screen, bike tools, spare tubes and tires,
We drove to Tobermory and stayed in the Blue Bay Motel before catching the mid morning ferry to Manitoulin. The MS Chi-Cheemaun doesn’t require reservations for bikes and you get board the ferry first. Bikes, motorbikes, cars, then motor homes, trucks etc. You can find out about rates and times here.

Here’s our daily details:

Day 1
Ferry to the island
Bike 35 km to Providence Bay
Where we stayed: Auberge Inn
Where we ate: School House Restaurant

The Auberge Inn is an international hostel with one private room which is where we stayed. There’s a shared bathroom but since were the only people there that night not much actual sharing was required. The Auberge Inn is the project of a lovely Franco Ontarion couple who are passionate about their new Manitoulin home and cycling. About half of their guests are from Europe. They also run the ice cream shop on Providence Bay’s beautiful beach.

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Day 2
Biked 90 km to Meldrum Bay
Where we stayed: Meldrum Bay Inn
Where we ate: Lunch at the 540 Stop, dinner at the Inn

The ride out to Meldrum Bay was lovely. We saw more deer than cars. There were pretty long stretches though with no stores, restaurants, toilets, or water. We ended up asking a local out watering her garden to fill up our water bottles. She was happy to help and told us lots about Manitoulin.

The Meldrum Bay Inn was a great place to stay. It’s a B & B with a restaurant where we had dinner. Beautiful rooms. We met another cycling couple there, triathletes, who sound like they’ve done a few Ironmans each. We rode with them for part of the next day and made plans to get together again.

Two little complaints though: First, the dining room had a no electronic devices policy. After a full day with no cell service, we were ready for a fix. And that’s how we look at maps and plan the next day’s activities, try to figure out what kinds of birds we saw that day, etc. No big deal but everyone left the dining room after the main course and used phones during dessert and coffee. Notably, in the morning, all the cyclists and the one motorcyclist took breakfast on the deck so we could check weather, winds, etc. Second, breakfast was at a fixed time, 9 am. “You’re on holidays!” But people holiday in different ways. I woke up early and we might have been on the road sooner had an earlier breakfast been an option. Again, just quibbles, otherwise a lovely place to stay.

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Day 3
Biked 70 km to Gore Bay
Where we stayed: Queens Inn
Where we ate: Buoys

The Queen’s Inn is a beautifully restored old house. Best breakfast on our trip! The owner asked if we had dietary constraints when we booked so she knew we were vegetarians. We got delicious home baked almond scones and omelettes,

We ate at Buoys for lunch when we first got there and while it was good we weren’t that hungry at dinner time. Instead we bought salads and snacks at the grocery store and ate on the lovely second floor deck overlooking the harbour.
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Day 4
Biked 75 km to Little Current
Stops en route: Manitoulin Chocolate Works in Kagawong, Bridal Veil Falls. and Maggie’s Cafe in M’cheegan
Where we stayed: Anchor Inn
What we ate: Take out vegan sushi and snacks from Just Eat Local Food

It was a great day of riding until the last few kilometers going into Little Current. We had found great back road routes but needed to take the main road into the town of Little Current. There we found the first traffic we’d seen on the island.

We were staying at the Anchor Inn in what is really a small apartment on the third floor above the bar. The owners warned us when we booked and again when arrived about the noise but we stayed in the back bedroom, closed the windows, and that was fine.  Breakfast at the Anchor Inn the next day was a lively affair. It’s obviously a very popular spot with locals and with all the boaters docked or anchored in the harbour.

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Day 5
Biked 50 km to Manitowaning
Where we stayed: My Friend’s Inn
Where we ate: Take out from Rainbow Ridge Golf Course

Another beautiful back road ride with amazing rolling hills and twists and turns. We actually met other cyclists en route and they invited us back to their cottage for lunch. They had a pizza oven fired up on their deck and we made pizzas and talked about bikes, travel, and island. Fun!

By the time we left it was raining, lightly, and we were happy to get to the inn. It’s not so much an inn as a very nicely renovated motel, a row of eight rooms.  The Inn comes complete with a charming cat who loves belly rubs. The rooms are well equipped and we were happy to shower, get take out food from the local golf course and watch Tour de France racing highlights on the television.

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Day 6
We ended the trip with the earliest start to our day. Being on the 9 o’clock ferry seemed like a great idea. We hit the road at 630 am and planned to ride the 35 km to the ferry, and have breakfast there, ferry across, and then drive to London. In theory it was a fast blast down the roadside bike lane of highway 6 to the ferry. In practice? Well, every trip needs a few obstacles. Wet pavement plus crap in the bike lanes made for several flats. Add to the mix biting black flies, a lost pump part (frazzly changing flats and swatting flies, we dropped it beside the road and couldn’t find it) and a dreaded short stem tube. But we made it, just in time for the ferry and we ate on the boat.

We weren’t the only cyclists there. We met a Scottish couple on a tandem, recumbent riding across Canada, Victoria to Newfoundland. Hardy souls.

Then off the ferry, some emergency car repairs, help from friends, and then HOME!

But Manitoulin, we’ll be back. Next time with friends and family!
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Notes to us (for next time): Bring less stuff. The trailer isn’t easy to tow uphill. And this might seem contradictory but also come prepared for long stretches of road with no water or food. We were okay on the food front but we ran out of water twice but luckily the locals proved friendly and obliging.

Notes to you (if you’re thinking of doing this ride or a version of it): Wildlife! Turtles and deer. Long stretches of road with no traffic. Day 1, maybe eight cars in 90 kilometers. No cell service over much of the island. Load maps into your phone or Garmin when you can.

Notes to Manitoulin Tourism: All the places we stayed knew lots about bike tourism. We weren’t the first cyclists they encountered. Everyone had secure, covered bike storage for our bikes. We’re surprised that there aren’t tour operators doing cycling tours of Manitoulin. Beautiful scenery, friendly locals, and lots of paved roads through the country side make it a near perfect bike tourism destination. We loved it. We’ll be back. Maybe next time with friends. Suggestions for improvement? More frequent route signs and mileage signs. Cyclists aren’t moving as fast as cars and the “20 km to Gore Bay” signs mean more us. Quite a few times we joined up with route 540 after coming off a side road but there were no signs telling us it was 540. Also, there seems to be no good route into Little Current for bikes. The main highway, 6, was incredibly busy and cars passed us too close, too fast. Later on 6, closer to Manitowaning and the ferry there was a bike lane/paved shoulder and “share the road” signs but the bike lane was full of debris. That’s where we got flats and ended up riding out of the bike lane and listening for cars behind us. You need to run a street cleaning truck through the bike lanes if you actually want cyclists to use them.

 

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Guest Post · martial arts

Self Defense and Sexual Assault (Guest Post)

Audrey5 Comments

It probably goes without saying that this blog post contains potentially triggering discussions of sexual assault.

I was recently sent this article by my friend Tom. It has to do with Miss USA 2014, Nia Sanchez, who has a black belt in taekwondo, and the response she got when she was asked about the prevalence of campus rape. Miss Sanchez was heavily criticized for answering by talking about role that her martial arts training played in her life and the idea that this is something that more young women should have in their lives. The article defends her and makes several compelling points, but I admit that I’m conflicted.

I’m conflicted as someone who’s taught self-defense workshops (women only as well as co-ed), and who has a lot of martial arts experience. This is something I’m pretty good at. I’ve done over 25 years of taekwondo, several years each of wushu and capoeira, and about 4 years of high school wrestling, not to mention bits and pieces of other cross-training here and there. I’m not particularly big, but I’m definitely not delicate and I can use my weight pretty well. I can take a solid hit and keep fighting. These are all things I know about myself. If I’m out late at night, I walk with good posture and confidence, and stay aware of my surroundings. I know I can defend myself in a lot of situations.

I’ve still been raped. More than once.

The last time that it happened, the man told me that he couldn’t possibly have raped me – that is, I must have consented, because he couldn’t have successfully raped someone like me. Who can defend myself. Who can teach self-defense workshops. Who has surely got the physical skills to prevent herself from being raped. So regardless of whether or not I said no and clearly did not want what was happening, my black belt meant that I couldn’t be raped, because I would have been able to stop him had I put up serious physical resistance. That latter bit is most likely true, but does that really mean physically strong women are implicitly consenting when they’re not throwing elbows? Let’s hope not.

This happened when I was in my early 30s. The first time I was raped, I was 16. I got my black belt in taekwondo when I was 11. I have always been physically capable of defending myself. But I have, on several occasions, been emotionally incapable of defending myself against attacks from people I cared about. I don’t know that anything in martial arts prepared me for being abused by someone close to me.  Maybe my training should have given me more confidence in my everyday life to be able to walk away from that person earlier. But it didn’t. Or at least, it has never been something I have been willing to use seriously against people in my life, even to defend my own body. But the idea that all the things I learn at taekwondo should only be used in the dojang is something that has been drilled into me since I was 7. Of course we tell the kids that if they get attacked, they should defend themselves and escape – but our typical images of what counts as this kind of dangerous situation are pretty narrow in range, and tend to fall within the “dark alley” scenario.

And this is one of the great difficulties with self-defense and sexual assault. The stats show that crime TV is not the norm, that you’re more likely to be raped by someone you know, and that intimate partner violence is alive and well. And in this latter case, self-defense is only one tiny piece of the answer. You also have to be willing to use those physical skills against another human being who you have feelings for. And while you surely have the right to use those skills against someone who is attacking you, it’s honestly not always that simple. How many of us could really, honestly, punch someone we love in the face?

I don’t think there is a bottom line here, or a takeaway message besides the fact that sexual assault is complicated and varied, as is its relationship to self-defense. To be clear, I agree that women should know how to defend themselves. I agree that being fit, strong, and physically capable is a positive thing. I feel grateful for the martial arts training that makes me more confident walking downtown by myself at night. But this training did not stop me from getting assaulted. It did not give me the desire to escalate already bad situations into potentially worse fist fights, or risk physically injuring someone already in emotional pain, struggling with addiction, who I then deeply cared about.

As the writer of the article that prompted this post pointed out, there is no reason to expect one single correct answer to the problem of sexual assault. And one reason for this is that there is no one single story of sexual assault. I told mine because it complicates the role that self-defense plays. But one of the strengths of this blog generally, I think, is the way in which it fights against the single story. So I’ll end this post with a quote from a talk by Chimamanda Ngozie Adichie:

All of these stories make me who I am. But to insist on only these negative stories is to  flatten my experience, and to overlook the many other stories that formed me. The single  story creates stereotypes. And the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but  that they are incomplete. They make one story become the only story.