Last weekend I went to an event sponsored by a local medieval club and found myself sucked into the rabbit hole of dancing. I’m usually too busy in the kitchen or working on crafts to think about dancing, but this time it was a small event, I had plenty of time, and someone was teaching the dances – so I joined in.
I danced a lot! Don’t believe anyone who claims that very old dances are staid and stately. While some were slower-paced, many were very lively. I got sweaty and breathless. We needed to take water breaks.
I danced in pairs, in groups of threes or fours, in lines, in circles. I danced with men and women of all shapes and sizes. There was even an adorable six-year-old. I really loved how people paid minimal attention to traditional gender roles in the dances. Some male-female couples preferred to dance together, but most of us had no life partners to dance with, so we paired up with whoever was available. The people dancing “male” parts tried to remember to hold hands from below, while the “ladies” put their hands on top. It helped us keep track of whether we were a “man” or a “woman” for that dance.
Three photos of people in Renaissance and medieval clothing dancing in a modern hall. Top left is a circle dance, top right is a group of three dancers, bottom is a line of couples dancing. Photos courtesy of Todd Fischer.
It was an unusual contribution to my 223 workouts in 2023, but a lot of fun.
Before you read this post, I dare you to make some space in your body by:
Rolling your shoulders back and dropping them away from your ears
Relaxing your jaw – maybe even moving your lower jaw back and forth
Releasing your breath with a sigh and then inhaling slowly
Okay, now that you have a little extra space in your body, let’s get back to making a little extra space in your future for you.
What can you put in place now (or at least soon) that will make it a little easier for future you to take the space that they need?
Could you clear a corner for your yoga mat to stay rolled out?
Could you make sure you are stocked up on your favourite teas?
Could you put your journal and your pens next to the space where you usually write?
Could you put a recurring ‘meeting’ on your calendar that is actually some time for you to spend doing something that refreshes you?
Could you make a playlist of songs you like or exercise videos you want to try so it is waiting for you when you need it?
Could you plan time with a friend?
Could you book an appointment with your counsellor/therapist/social worker/psychologist/chiropractor/physiotherapist/personal trainer? (Only you know which one(s) you may need in the future.)
I know that most of us *need* space in our lives for ourselves but, of course, I can’t know what kind of specific space you need – that’s up to you.
And if you also don’t know what you need, perhaps you can start with a little extra time in your schedule to write/draw/meditate/walk/roll/dance – I’m sure you will be able to figure it out as you go.
No matter what, starting out with a plan – even a very loose one – will help make you feel like making space for yourself is just one of the things you do on a regular basis. And, once you feel that way, it should get easier and easier to make that space – even if it is just a few minutes at a time.
And, of course, when I mention future you, that could be the you of 30 seconds in the future, it doesn’t just have to be the you of next week.
In fact, I hope you can find ways to make space for all of the future yous and I hope you can find ease and joy in the process – even if it gets tricky sometimes.
Here are today’s videos – for now you and future you – have fun with them!
A seated workout from the Improved Health YouTube channel entitled ‘Bee Gees SEATED Workout | Chair Exercises for Seniors | Stayin’ Alive & Night Fever | 1970’s Workout. The still image features the instructor wearing exercise clothes and sitting on a chair in front of a circular wall decoration. She has her left arm extended with her finger pointing at the ceiling and her right arm extended with her finger pointing toward the floor. Her right leg is bent with her toe touching the floor near the chair, her left leg is extended out in front of her with her left toe touching the floor.
A meditation from the Great Meditations YouTube channel entitled ‘Guided Meditation to Enjoy This Life.’ The still image features a cartoon image of a person seated on a dock with water behind them. Their legs are crossed and the backs of their hands resting on their legs (their palms are upward) with each of their thumbs touching the index finger on the same hand.
About Making Space 2022
In December 2020, Fit is a Feminist Issue blogger Martha created a tradition – a series of reminder posts to take good care of ourselves during this last month of the year when it is far too easy to get swept up in your to do list, no matter what you are celebrating or not celebrating. Last year, it was my turn and after an introductory Go Team post called Give Yourself Some Space, I created a series of reminders called ‘Making Space‘ that offered a suggested short exercise video and a suggested meditation in case you needed an easy way to find space for yourself in your schedule.
For 2022, I’ll be doing the same thing but I’ll also be including a link to Martha’s post from the same date in 2020 and I’ll offer a few extra ideas for relaxation, creativity, and self-kindness here and there.
These posts are not about insisting that you do more, more, more during this busy season. Instead, I want to encourage you to remember that there IS a *YOU* who is doing all of the things and you are worth taking good care of.
Perhaps the things I suggest aren’t what you need in the moment. That’s totally ok. Perhaps you can use something else to create some space, something that will help you feel more relaxed or more in charge of your day.
A recent CTV article was very excited about a new Disney short called Reflect, about a young ballet dancer named Bianca, and its body positivity message. As the resident fat ballerina on this blog, I had to watch it.
Hilary Bradfield, the creator, says “I feel like I’m a body positive person in principle, but when it’s on a personal level, it’s a lot harder to be body positive. I feel this deeply: despite repeated self-talk, I sometimes hate how I look.
It’s so short that the introduction by the creator was almost as long as the film itself so I watched it several times. I wanted to love it. The animation itself was well-done. It had the kind of uplifting Disney “girl overcomes barriers and has a happy ending” story that makes me smile.
But somehow it didn’t, quite. Was it too short to engage me? Too unrealistic? I think it was the latter, which is deeply weird; it’s Disney – of course it’s unrealistic!
Bianca was too small/young to be dancing en pointe (kids should be at least 12 or so to prevent permanent damage to growing bones). Triple pirouettes are hard. And she was so round compared to the stick figure dancers in her class! Those other kids would not have been able to stand in real life, let alone dance.
In some ways, I wanted Bianca to do more ordinary things and be happy, and her classmates and teacher to at least notice her. I know that wouldn’t have been as much of a Disney story that satisfies kids.
But maybe it would have resonated more with adult fat ballerina me who has already learned not to notice anything in the mirror except posture and position. The fat ballerina who will never be any good dancer, but who loves dancing anyway.
Sorry – no pictures of Disney’s Bianca, so you get me in a black leotard, at the end of a successful single pirouette. I have a huge smile.
I hear that others love Reflect and see themselves in Bianca. I am curious about what you think. Am I putting too much onto the shoulders of this young dancer to be a role model but also somewhat ordinary? What is the right balance of expectations for a plus sized or otherwise different person with talent?
I am interested in how dancing connects us with others, such as when dark dancing provided a community for dancers during the isolation of the COVID-19 pandemic. At the same time, dancing with others can also inhibit us, especially when we fear that others see us as bad dancers out on the dance floor.
Today, my post today reflects on the people who need neither community nor coping mechanisms—they dance boldly and fearlessly to music around others, even if they dance alone.
Recently I was at an outdoor country music festival stage show—supporting a friend who was supporting her partner who was in the band. The set started for about 30 people sitting or standing in the warm sun.
Soon I noticed someone dressed in cowboy hat, jeans, and boots who had started dancing at the side of the stage. He looked about 80. He was the only person dancing. I gestured to my friend over to him, and she said, “Oh, that’s Bev. He always dances, no matter what music is playing.”
I learned more: Bev has special notoriety among local musicians for coming out to so many shows and always, always dancing. Bev has even been featured in a music video by my friend’s old band.
Jenn Marino & the Hearts – Got Me Movin’ featuring Bev Camp
Not dancing but watching
Watching Bev shuffle out moves like a one-man line dancer, I thought about the (very few) number of times I was brave enough to be the first one up and dancing. I get my itchy feet from my parents, who have always loved music and for years enjoyed two-stepping and square dancing. But the risk of being seen as the weirdo dancing by herself has, more often than not, kept me rooted in my chair.
Some guy in front of me pulled out his phone, training it on Bev rather than on the band. When the guy noticed me noticing him, he smiled and gestured towards Bev in a conspiring way, like I should agree that Bev was making a spectacle of himself dancing alone, so it was ok to record him.
Before the set was over, Bev had moved closer to centre stage, continuing to dance as if he didn’t even notice anyone else was there. We all noticed him, but nobody joined him.
Dance like no one is watching
I didn’t speak with Bev, but I guess that he doesn’t dance at live music to make a spectacle of himself. Bev is there for the music. Maybe he does it to maintain muscle strength and agility, or maybe he just no longer fears what other people think. Maybe Bev doesn’t feel he as if he is dancing alone: his dance partner is the music.
Perhaps dancers are gawked at and teased by those who want to dance but lack the courage to do so. I am still not always able to (as the platitude goes) “dance like no one is watching.” But I will cheer on Bev and others like him, and maybe enjoy the music a little bit more, knowing there are beautiful, brave people who don’t need anyone’s approval to just go ahead and dance.
I have been an adult ballet dancer for almost 19 years; I have avoided injuries and never missed a class except for travel. That ended abruptly two weeks ago when I did something to the muscles in my lower back and hip.
Skeleton with a severely twisted spine after dancing too hard
Luckily, it was just before a week-long break at the dance school, so I didn’t miss classes. I did have to miss a couple of swim practices though, as I was pretty much confined to bed for several days. I was not happy. At all.
Thankfully, rest, gentle stretches, and a couple of trips to to the chiropractor’s have me mobile again. I have managed two dance classes this week, though I still feel like a bit like this mushroom:
Cartoon images of a short mushroom working up a sweat while lifting its leg a little. The other dancers at the barre are all achieving perfect high leg lifts.
Part of me thinks I need to start accepting that I am 61 and my risk of injury will continue to grow with age. Part of me says that I have already scaled back to an easier level of class, and I am learning to accept that things like grand pliés will depend on how I feel that day. It’s okay to make accommodations. And part of me thinks I should just shift my perspective. Like these bats, I’m a pretty badass dancer if you look at me the right way.
Tomorrow night is virtual double header, bike rally team social on Zoom followed by TFC bike race on Zwift. Can't wait until we're doing all the things in person again.
And then Pandemic Dark Dance posted to Facebook, “Tomorrow Night… Hopefully the last online Pandemidarkdance for a long while. I fully expect all 600-some members to login for it. We can’t take 600 requests, but we can take a few. You got any? Next Thursday (17th) we’ll be back in the Owls club, like olden times… Like nothing had ever happened… save for the vax check, tea-light squares, and the entry and exit wearing of masks…”
So we’re moving our fitness lives back into the world and the online options are closing down. Mostly (see above) I’m thrilled about that. I’m back at the gym I’m doing in person yoga again.
But who is being left behind?
I’m struggling with this in the university context too, trying to balance accessibility concerns, with wanting to be back on campus for in person learning.
It’s not just about being high risk for covid, or having perfectly reasonable concerns about social gathering when the pandemic isn’t over. There are also disability access needs that have been met during the pandemic. In addition, there’s the rural/small town/big city divide. I remember, in the early days of social media, when online friends in big cities would talk about getting off LiveJournal or Friendster or Facebook in favour of in person friends in the real world. I’d point out that their real world looked different than mine. I didn’t have the same access to in person events that they did.
“WE DANCE IN THE DARK IN MORE THAN 75 LOCATIONS AROUND THE WORLD AND WE’VE BEEN DOING IT SINCE 2009! We turn off the lights and crank up the tunes to release our inhibitions, move our moods and work up a wild sweat – all completely sober. We are mums, dads, students, lawyers and baristas, from 12 to 100 years old. We all have one thing in common; in the dark we come alive, shake the blues away and get lost in the music….We grew from a small gathering in Melbourne into a global community, simply because joy is contagious, and people love to dance. Lights Out, Let’s Dance – there’s room for you on our dance floor. “
When the pandemic hit, dark dancing took off in peoples’ homes. If you use Spotify there are more than 300 No Lights No Lyrca playlists. I can’t dance due to my knees but these playlists have saved my life on the bike these past two years.
So as Dancing in the Dark returns to clubs, that’s great I guess. But what about those of us who don’t live in Toronto, New York, or London or who are choosing to stay out night clubs until the pandemic is gone for good? Or what about those people who dance in bed, or in their wheelchairs, for whom the night club, even sober, might never have been a real option?
I was happy to see that some dark dancing groups are running hybrid dance parties, in the club in whatever city they are in and on Zoom and or YouTube as well.
And I’ll be curious to see where we land in terms of hybrid forms of participation.
Dancing gif
How is this working out in your online fitness world? Are you losing online fitness options? What do you think we ought to do to keep online and in person fitness communities going? How is hybrid working out, if your communities are going that route?
I hope today finds you with the space you need to take good care of yourself.
And I hope that you can recognize your own efforts to make that space, even if you didn’t always succeed.
You matter, your needs matter and your efforts matter.
And here’s a gold star for those efforts:
Image description: This is the largest gold star I own. It’s a foldable 3D paper ornament and it is covered with sparkly gold spirals. In this photo, I have hung it on a white door.
Now, onto our movement and meditation for making space. (As always, feel free to do these or to do your own thing.)
One of my favourite ways to get moving is to join my friend Elaine Dunphy in either an ageless grace or a Nia dance class. Since I can’t bring all of you to one of her classes (what with Covid restrictions and the laws of physics and all), I asked her to create a short video for today’s post.
Here’s Elaine, in full positivity and joy, with a New Year’s Eve message and a short and fun movement practice for you to try as you create a little space for yourself today.
My friend Elaine Dunphy with a New Year’s message and a short movement practice for us today. I posted this on my own YouTube channel – the only other video on there is my husband doing the ice bucket challenge, so obviously I am not a prolific YouTuber. The still image shows Elaine in her dance studio. She has very short salt-and-pepper hair and she is smiling and holding her right hand up, palm towers the camera with her fingers held widely apart.
And as for a meditation, I am offering two today.
The first one is for people with a lot of space in their day, the second is for people with just a sliver of time for themselves.
A ten minute meditation from the Great Meditations YouTube channel. The still image is a cartoon drawing of a person in yellow sitting in a classic meditation pose – legs crossed, backs of hands resting on knees, palms upward. The words ‘Clear Your Mind guided meditation’ are on the left side of the image.
And if you just have a minute, here’s a meditation for you.
A mini-meditation from the Headspace YouTube channel. Still image shows blue squiggles against a yellow background with the words ‘Health Mind’ written in purple on the upper left side.
I hope that these posts have helped you find space for yourself during the month of December when time seems to telescope, dragging on or collapsing without any relationship to the clock or to the calendar.
As we move into 2022, may you have the space you need in your mind, in your heart, in your days, in your schedules, and in the places where you spend your time.
We’re officially into that weird point of December where no one seems sure what day it is or what’s open or what they are supposed to be doing. And the range of Covid restrictions in various places is amplifying the confusion this year.
All of that adds up to even more reason to try and make some space for yourself – in whichever way works best for you today.
(That’s often the tricky part of making space for ourselves, I find. It’s hard to know what we are going to need from day to day and how much space we’ll require to give ourselves what we need.)
So, I’m just going to remind you that making space for yourself is a valid and important thing to do. You deserve gentle care. You deserve to have room in your own life. You deserve to feel good.
And if feeling good is out of reach right now, then I hope you can find a way to feel as good as possible in your current situation, even if the only space you can create is 10 extra seconds in the bathroom to squeeze your shoulders up by your ears and then let them slowly sink downward again.
Since we are in the in-between and everyone may need different things, I’ve picked out two choices for each video. Relaxing yoga/energizing cardio and meditation for hope/meditation for energy.
I hope you can find what you need today, in these videos or elsewhere.
I wish you ease.
Here’s your star for your efforts. ⭐️
Your hard work counts.
If you need to relax today, this yoga stretch video could be a good place to start.
A 5 Minute Yoga Everyday Stretch video from the Yoga with Bird YouTube channel. Still image shows a person in exercise clothes lying on a white yoga mat in a white room. She is in bridge pose.
If relaxing stretches aren’t your thing today, this fun dance video might be just the movement you need to create some space for yourself.
A wheelchair/chair dance video from the Sit Down AJ YouTube channel. the still image shows a group of people seated on chairs in a classroom/dance studio all in mid-dance.
If you are feeling a bit overdone emotionally today, this guided meditation could help you untie some mental knots.
A 5 minute guided meditation for hope and trust from the Yoga with Manon YouTube channel. Still image shows a person seated cross-legged (in lotus pose) on a purple mat with gold patterns on it), in the background bamboo plants and a small statuette can be seen.
If you are feeling a bit blah and need some mental energy, this next meditation might be the answer.
I was slightly reluctant to post this (quite lovely) meditation because it is labelled for ‘productivity’ and I hate that word. Not everything has to be ‘productive’ and our cultural push for ‘productivity’ is one big reason we need to consciously make space for ourselves instead of being able to let it happen more organically.
However, that being said, it is an enjoyable meditation and is NOT pushing productivity. I feel like that word is in the title to help the video be picked up in searches rather than being part of the channel’s philosophy per se.
So, to be clear, I am definitely not criticizing the channel for putting the word productivity in the title and I am not suggesting that YOU need to be productive. I found this meditation energizing and I hope you do, too.
I hope you find space today, with these videos or in your own way.
Remember: No one else gets to decide what space you need or how you make that space. 💚 you are the boss of you. 😉
I don’t know about you but I am really getting to the point in December where time starts telescoping. I keep feeling like I have lots of time left before a task needs to be finished and then, somehow, time has contracted and my deadline is looming.
Wait, is that just an ADHD thing? Does time do that for neurotypical people, too? I’ve experienced this all my life but I have had ADHD all that time so perhaps it’s related.
ANYWAY, my point is that even when time feels tight, it’s important to do what you can to add in some space for self-care. I am NOT pressuring you to do anything specific. I don’t want making space to become another guilt-inducing item on a long to-do list.
Perhaps, if everything feels crowded and tight, you can do something very small – like taking a VERY deep breath every time you touch your phone or first touch the steering wheel.
If you have more time and space today, here are your videos!
Our movement video is dance instruction/dance practice with Laura Jones from Stopgap Dance Company (an inclusive class for disabled people)
This is a dance video from Stopgap Dance Company (an inclusive class for disabled people) that includes some choreography instruction and then the practice. Image description: The still image features instructor Laura Jones, a wheelchair user, in an outdoor space with a brick wall to their right, a brick half-wall to their left. Some greenery is visible above the half-wall.
For our meditation today, I chose some restful meditation music rather than a guided meditation. I kind of feel like I am in a spa when I listen to this so that’s not a bad way to spend 5 minutes.
A video of 5 Minute Meditation Music from the Soundings of the Planet YouTube channel. Image description: The still image is of a sunlit field with mountains in the distance. White text in the foreground reads “5 Minute Meditation Music”
Whether you choose these videos or whether you find another route to making space, I wish you ease and restfulness.
Have you been managing to make some space for yourself through movement, meditation, or through something else that makes you happy?
I really hope you have.
But if it is hasn’t worked out for you yet, I still applaud your efforts.
It’s tricky to find time for yourself in a busy life and it’s even trickier to find energy to do something different with that time. It’s far easier to just zone out and go with whatever habits you already have.
I’m not criticizing the tendency to zone out. I do it too. Sometimes, it’s is all we can manage to do and that’s fine.
But if zoning out is not serving you well, if it is not helping you to feel rested, then maybe you can ease your way toward another form of self care.
Today’s breathing exercise (it’s not exactly a meditation but it also kind of is) might be a good place to start, even if you just follow it for a couple of breaths.
You don’t have to create a huge space for yourself right away, the teeny tiny space of a few breaths is an excellent place to start.
A breathing exercise video from the Hands On Meditation YouTube channel. The still image is a greenish blue sky with different shades of greenish blue mountains at the bottom. The words ‘4-7-8 Calm Breathing Exercise’ are in the foreground in white.
If you want to get moving today, this hip-hop dance video is a fun way to get started.
A 5-Minute Hip-Hop Dance Cardio video from the PopSugar YouTube channel. Still image shows three people is exercise clothes in a gym with wooden floors and a white brick wall.
No matter what you decide to do today, I hope you find some ease.
