Category: mindfulness

How Much of Healing Is Faith?
health · injury · mindfulness

How Much of Healing Is Faith?

MinaLeave a comment

How Much of Healing Is Faith?

The foot surgery I mentioned last month has come and gone. I didn’t meltdown or freak out, except in the moment when the physician’s assistant was trying to put in the IV port and I got so stressed out that my veins went into hiding and I started to lose consciousness. The poor PA was mopping sweat from my face, forearms and shins, as he tried to keep me awake. The surgery itself was a black box, after the anesthesiologist said the words, I’m just going to start with something to calm y ... I woke up in the operating room, while they were vigorously swaddling my foot in a dressing, thick wads of cotton batting and a tenser bandage.  

At home that evening, I kept waiting for the pain to hit, mindful that I’d been instructed to, Get ahead of the pain. There was none. Nor the next day. Or any day. There was no swelling either. The only mild discomfort I’ve had is when a shoe causes pressure or friction against the stitches on the top of my foot. I had prepared myself for immobility. Instead, after Friday afternoon surgery, I could walk around normally by later that evening on my one bare foot and one swaddled foot. If my steps were tentative, it was out of anticipation of the pain that did not arrive. I was surprised. After all of the everything around my auto-immune situation, I lost quite a bit of faith in my body’s ability to heal. With each hour that passed post-surgery, then each day, then week, now 10 days, my cup of healing faith is refilling. I wonder how much of the healing is due to my restored faith in my body’s ability to heal.   

I diligently forced myself to stay on the couch over that first weekend. With no pain to remind me of why I needed to be sedate, by Sunday night I was feeling confined and itchy to move. I rode a Monday morning loop of Central Park on Citibike. I wore a surgical boot, to be safe. On Tuesday, I wore a sturdy, regular boot when I rode the same loop. Wednesday was on the Peloton (in running shoes, not bike shoes). And Friday, a week post-surgery, yoga (with modifications to upward dog, so as not to aggravate my stitches).

To be clear, although my foot looks ugly with stitches and bruising top and bottom (be glad I’m not sharing a photo), all of this activity is pain and swelling free. I am not pushing limits. I carefully re-read the post op instructions, which clearly say, weight bearing as tolerated. I was told to expect 2 weeks in a surgical boot, followed by 2 weeks in super sturdy shoes. I was told that maybe I could think about running after 6 weeks. Was my foot doctor just setting low expectations? It hasn’t even been 2 weeks yet and the challenge now is to resist the siren call of running. I see the doc tomorrow (if you are reading this on the first Wednesday in December, when it posts). I’m guessing (please please) that he will take out the three stitches. He really adhered to the minimally invasive promise of the surgery with his tiny incisions, each of which only required one stitch. I’ve promised myself to do nothing over-exuberant until I see him.

Which is hard, because I am bursting with astonished gratitude at this moment. All I want to do is dance and run and jump up and down, to test how much better my foot feels. I can feel how much more mobility there is. How the pain that I had is gone. I can stand on my tippy toes, for the first time in several years.

I tell myself that I should moderate my hopes. After all, my toe also has a bunion and arthritis. Even as another part of me is jumping ahead, wondering, if my foot can heal like this, then what about my Addison’s Disease? Finding the balance of faith in my body’s ability to heal and being realistic about what’s possible is delicate. Some people say that faith is everything. While I believe that faith counts for a lot, I don’t think that my belief in my own healing is enough on its own.

Things I’m wondering:

  • Is faith a virtuous cycle, in which the faith in healing supports the healing?
  • Is it more than a virtuous cycle, as in, without the faith the healing cannot happen?
  • How far can faith go, as in, why does it seem to pertain to my foot and not my auto immune situation? I had a lot of faith I could be cured of the Addison’s. At first. Now, that faith has gotten complicated. How do I untangle the knotty question of whether my patience with a longer road to recovery is faith, or resignation to my fate?
  • And is this faith I’m talking about just another word for control? A veiled way of satisfying the human hunger for control over our lives?

One last wondering, can faith harm my healing? I have an answer to this one. Yes. If I use faith as an excuse to not actually follow medical protocols. I did that in the beginning with the Addison’s. Going off my medication. Against doctor’s orders. Believing that I could cure myself with infusions, supplements, meditation and a positive attitude. That didn’t work. Now I’m on my medication. Diligent and compliant. Mostly. Plus, meditation, faith, vitamins and supplements. That really works.

So, for my foot, weight bearing as tolerated. That’s working so far. I’ll see the doc tomorrow. A little girl part of me is bringing him my foot, as if it is a drawing from school, wanting him to be impressed by my healing. Pin it up on the fridge. Give my faith a boost. What if he just says, yup, this is what I expected? It changes nothing about my condition. Puts a question mark in the power of my faith.

Maybe the trick is to have faith and hold it lightly. Faith will intervene when appropriate and only it knows when that is.

a drawing of a gold star with black trim surrounded by small black polka dots. Go Team 2025: Can you do me a favour, pretty please?
ADHD · fitness · habits · mindfulness · motivation · self care

Go Team 2025: Can you do me a favour, pretty please?

Christine Hennebury2 Comments

Hey Team!

I’m writing this on Monday, November 10 (a.k.a. My Birthday!) and I have been pondering* what to write to you about all day. 

I knew that I wanted to write my favourite kind of post (a Go Team! post, of course) but I wasn’t sure what to focus on. 

And then it struck me.

While I am generally comfortable asking for things I need, my ADHD can complicate the process of asking for some things that I want. I have trouble telling if I am asking for too much, if I am imposing, or if my request is annoying beyond measure.

Intellectually, I know that, as a fairly helpful, relatively reasonable person who will definitely go out of her way for people, I am probably not doing any of those things but my brain will still worry about inconveniencing people.

On my birthday, though, I give that part of my brain a break. Somehow, the fact that it is my birthday makes it a bit easier for me to ask for favours, for small indulgences, for things that would normally make me wonder if I am putting the other person through too much trouble.

And, even though it will be the day after my birthday by the time you read this, I am going to extend the brain break and ask you to do me a favour, to indulge me about something. 

Today, would you consider giving yourself a little break?

You know, as a birthday present to me.

That break might look like taking a little extra time to rest. 

Or it might look like changing the amount of time you spend exercising/meditating/colouring/chatting with a friend/lying on the floor so it fits your needs today. 

It might involve asking your brain to stop churning up the same few mean thoughts over and over. (Try telling it that Christine asked you to shelve that list for now.)

It might mean looking in the mirror and nodding (as in, ‘Yeah, I’m alright’) instead of being hard on yourself about something. 

It might mean recognizing, just for today, that slow progress is still progress.

It might mean considering the possibility that you can pick your own goals for fitness or wellness instead of being pushed around by the fitness industry.

It might mean choosing to say something kind to yourself. 

It might mean saying no to something that doesn’t work for you right now. 

It might mean choosing a fun workout, or a hard workout, or an easy workout without letting your brain try to tell you what you *should* (shudder) do instead.

Basically, I’d love to see you give yourself a bit of time away from any habit or behaviour or thought process that doesn’t help you be kinder to yourself AND/OR that makes it harder for you to head in the direction you want to go. 

You know the kind of thing I mean – the stuff that is often described as ‘self-discipline’ but is really just the kind of crappy stuff that a mean person would say to you or would give you grief about planning to do. 

Please, please, please, do me a birthday favour and take a break from that mean voice, that mean approach, that utterly unsupportive voice that keeps trying to boss you into an impossible place. 

And, Team, I know this isn’t going to be an easy thing to do so I am not only offering you a gold star for your efforts, I’m offering you a heart in my favourite colour so you can know that I am sending a little extra love to help you with the hard work of thinking about things a little differently today. 

Go Team Us!

a drawing of a gold star with black trim surrounded by small black polka dots.
Image description: a small drawing of a shiny gold star with black trim surrounded by small black polka dots. The card with the drawing on it is propped up against a black surface.
a drawing of a green heart with black trim surrounded by small black dots
Image description: a drawing of a green heart with black trim surrounded by small black dots. The drawing is propped up against a black surface

PS – If you want to have a nice snack (cake, maybe?) or take a good nap or read a fun book, I would also happily accept that as a birthday indulgence. 

*That word always makes me think of Pinky and the Brain. You know the – “Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?” “I think so, Brain, but what if the chicken won’t wear the nylons?” – kind of thing. So, for your amusement, here’s a list of all of Pinky’s ponderings from the show. 

diversity · mindfulness

National Day for Truth and Reconciliation

Christine Hennebury2 Comments

I have done a lot of overthinking about this post and that overthinking is a very familiar pattern for me.

As I have mentioned many, many times on the blog, I often get caught in thought loops that look like this 

I understand that change needs to happen.

I start with good intentions.

I want to do something the ‘right’ way (or, at the very least, I don’t want to do it ‘wrong’)

I overthink and worry about it.  (sometimes I seek certainty by doing a ridiculous amount of unstructured research that doesn’t help at all)

I don’t actually take the action because I am so concerned with doing it right that I can’t do anything at all. 

I get upset with myself and start the loop again. 

And when it comes to the National Day for Truth and Reconciliation, for decolonization, for reconciliation practices as a whole, I admit that I have gotten firmly stuck in this loop, over and over again. 

I get so caught up in trying to do a good job, in trying to do reconciliation ‘right’, that I end up not taking any useful or sustained actions.  

I often have an idea what NOT to do* but I sometimes get so tangled up in avoiding those wrong things that I don’t leave myself room to do anything at all.

I’m tired of this loop and I am getting out of it.

https://firstlightnl.ca/community-events/orange-shirt-day/
My shirt for National Truth and Reconciliation Day/Orange Shirt Day. The idea of someone asking me why I am wearing orange immediately makes me fear that I will give the ‘wrong’ answer but being willing to make mistakes is all part of the process. Image description: a close-up image of an orange tshirt with white text that reads ‘ask me why I am wearing orange.’

Recently, a friend of mine told me that she sees a lot of people in loops like this – good intentions, overwhelm, guilt, inaction – and she told me the cure: 

EDUCATION. 

It was both incredibly obvious and a great revelation. **

Obviously, education will help me to understand how to be useful, how to figure out what actions to take, how to do things ‘right enough.’

The revelation was that educating myself is very different than getting caught in a whole loop of researching for certainty.

Thank you, M-L, for helping me to take a step in the right direction.

First Light, an Indigenous organization in St. John’s, NL, has a social media campaign asking people to state their commitment for the National Day of Truth and Reconciliation

In the spirit of that request, here are my first set of commitments to educate myself and work towards reconciliation:

  1. I will attend the Reconciliation Rally this afternoon and wear my orange shirt.
  2. I will take the 8 hour version of First Light’s Indigenous Cultural Diversity Training.
  3. I will read Decolonization and Me by Kristy McLeod and Phyllis Webstad.
  4. I will take the University of Alberta’s Faculty of Native Studies’ ‘Indigenous Canada online course.

Now, I want to be clear that I understand that this is not a checklist – I can’t “finish” reconciliation…I can’t even “finish” educating myself.

I understand that reconciliation is about learning new ways of thinking, about new ways of being in relationship with each other, with other species, and with the land.

I understand that there are so very many things that I don’t know, and that I have a lot to unlearn.

I recognize that reconciliation is a very long-term, ongoing project and that it will involve making mistakes and learning from them.

But I refuse to stay in the loop of good intentions with very little action any longer – almost anything I do will be better than that.

And, as recommended, I am starting with seeking education about the truth of Indigenous experiences.

This Living Acknowledgement from First Light is so moving that I wanted to ensure that you had the opportunity to watch it, too. Still image description: two young Indigenous women smile at the camera. They both have dark hair and they have their hair pinned up in braids. The one on the left is wearing a flowered top and the one on the right is wearing a green to and she has glasses.

(This post has been edited to add the two items below. The first one didn’t travel along with the copy and paste from my draft document. The second one was added for clarity after the post went live.)

*For example: I am currently wrestling with thoughts that writing this post this way is centering myself – I know not to do that but I’m not sure if this is an example of that or not. I hope not. I hope this is a loop-breaking way of starting to take the actions I want to take to educate myself properly.

**To clarify a little – It’s not that I thought I knew everything already, it’s that some part of my brain thinks that I don’t know what to do because I haven’t thought about it enough or because I haven’t asked the right questions yet. I forget that the path (and the questions) come from learning – I don’t need to know them before I start. Is this an ADHD thing? A Christine thing? A human thing? It’s probably a combination, right?

Update:

The rally was incredibly moving and incredibly hopeful.

Here are a couple of photos:

A photo of a statue of John Cabot wrapped in orange t-shirts
The representative from First Light gave a strong speech about how John Cabot didn’t ’discover’ this land and how Turtle Island was well-populated long before Cabot showed up. Image description: A bronze statue of John Cabot wrapped in orange shirts that say ‘ask me why I am wearing orange.’ The statue stands on the steps of the Confederation Bldg (the NL House of Assembly) and there are several people between me and the statue. There are happy children playing on the steps behind the statue – a hopeful contrast to the sombre reason for gathering today.
A photo of a statue of a Beothuk family
The drummers played a steady beat as a long lineup of people laid tobacco ties at the feet of this statue of Demasduit’s family . Demasduit was a Beothuk woman who was captured by settlers who killed her husband (Nonosabasut) in the process. Her baby died two days after her capture. The speaker reminded us that the statue symbolizes all of the Indigenous families torn apart by colonization. Image description: a bronze statue of a Beothuk woman and her husband holding their baby. There are a lot of small red tobacco ties placed at their feet. Two Indigenous drummers (one in a ribbon skirt) are standing nearby. There are a crowd of people in orange shirts between me and the statues.
a photo of a bedroom window in the early morning with sunlight coming in. Reflective Fitness Journaling (Again)
fitness · habits · health · mindfulness · motivation

Reflective Fitness Journaling (Again)

Christine Hennebury

In 2023-2024, I wrote in a fitness journal almost every Monday.

About 80% of the time it worked the way I wanted it to – actually reflective, kind of inspiring, a decent record of my process/progress.

The other 20% of the time it was a screencap of the info from my fitness app. That was less inspiring (less interesting!) but it kept the habit in place.

Sometime in early 2025, despite my best intentions I stopped entirely.

I’m sure that was partially because of my injury but it was also because it felt like I was journaling for its own sake rather than for any actual benefit.

I was essentially keeping the habit in place but for no real reason so it’s no wonder the practice just kind of dropped off my to do list.

For the record, I’m not being hard on myself about this – I’m just noting what happened and I don’t feel bad about it at all.

BUT

I think it’s time to get back into the practice of reflecting on my fitness – what I did, how I felt, how I want to feel and what activities might help me to feel that way- and obviously a journal is the direct route to that kind of thinking.

I’m probably going to do some combination of a digital journal (so I can think aloud with voice dictation) and and paper journal that has lots of room for me to write, draw, and collage.

I’ve revisited my earlier posts and developed a series of questions to use as a guideline and I (once again) plan to review my previous entry when starting a new one (extra reflection? why not?)

AND since journaling often leads me to solutions I haven’t thought about before but I promptly forget them once I close my journal – I am going to keep some index cards nearby to pull workable ideas out of my journal pages to keep for easy reference.

My plan right now is to do some fitness journaling 3x per week (I think writing once per week was part of the problem before – too much to say in one entry so it became a chore) for 3 weeks and see how it feels.

And, of course, I will probably make adjustments as I go.

Do you journal about your fitness practices? Do you find it helpful? Do you have any advice to offer?

Gathering myself in
ADHD · fitness · mindfulness · rest · self care

Gathering myself in

Christine Hennebury

On Monday, I started the second half of my Storytelling tour with my friend Catherine and our first day went really well.

But you know what else?

It was really tiring.

The kids were great and the teacher was great and the school was great, but there was a lot of energy going in all sorts of different directions today – just the nature of a busy school day – and it made it a little bit challenging for my slightly-sleepy ADHD brain to focus on my stories and on the work I was trying to do.

So, I had to use a lot of energy to concentrate and stay on task and, at the end of the day, I felt a bit jangled. Kind of scattered. A little bit at loose ends.

I know from previous experience that when I feel that way, it’s all too easy to lose the rest of the day to kind of aimlessly wandering from task to task in search of ways to settle my brain.

On Monday, though, I refused to lose my evening to that feeling. Instead, I decided to take action to find equilibrium, to gather my energy back to me.

I started with a good chat with Catherine about the interesting parts of the day and the things we especially enjoyed.

Then, while Catherine was out for a walk, I did some journalling and had some tea.

My journal, a pen, and a mug of tea on a table
A photo of my journal, a patterned, pink, soft-covered notebook, with a teal and silver pen on top. Above the notebook is a mug of tea, the mug has a moose and the word Canada on it.

I followed that with meditation and deep breathing before heading out on my own solo walk (around Port Union, NL, in case you’re wondering)

A photo of a river in early spring
Photo of a river with a grassy incline in the foreground, a few large rocks in the water, and a rocky, shrubby incline on the other side.
A photo of the trunks of two birch trees
A photo of two birch trees growing close together, the trees don’t have leaves yet and the trunks have interesting patterns in the bark.
A photo of a small harbour
A photo of a small harbour with scrubby grass in the foreground and rocks outlining the water

And when I got back from my amble, I lay on the floor for a while in a restorative ‘legs up the wall’ yoga pose.

A photo of my legs resting against a pillar
A photo, taken from my perspective as I lie on the floor, of my jean-covered legs resting against a pillar in our rental unit as I do legs up the wall pose.

It all helped and I feel much more at ease.

And, sure, I may have felt better with just one or two of these things but I was enjoying the process so I decided to roll with it.

Do you know that scattered feeling I am referring to?

What process do you use to gather yourself in?

What Does Less Is More Really Mean?
mindfulness · Wordless

What Does Less Is More Really Mean?

Mina

Lately, I’ve been receiving the same message from various quarters in my life. The message is this: I can do less, in a less is more way. I can push less. I don’t need to try so hard. I can trust the universe. That all sounds almost dangerous, especially the trust part. Also, how can I be less-is-more without diminishing myself? The message is hard to receive, because, at first blush, it seems to align with a long-held, not-so-happy belief—that I am too much. I talk too much and laugh too loud. I am too bossy, too excitable, too energetic, take up too much space, too, too and too. You get the point. Sometimes I feel like I’ve been getting this too-much message since I was born (at a sub optimal moment that I was told negatively impacted my father’s career).

Yet I know (in that deep knowing way) that this time the words are not coming as criticism. Rather, they arrive as an invitation to be more myself, which sounds paradoxical, since the message is about less. Do less. Yes, and…be more. Less noise. More presence.

What does this mean in my day-to-day? Well, in the learning groups I facilitate and the 1:1 coaching I do, it means—ask one question, without refining it fifteen times to get just the right word or adding seven more layered questions, with icing flourishes in between. Ask one question. Then wait for the answer. Literally.

And metaphorically. Trust that the energy I want to share with others will be felt without me doing a jig, standing on my head and waving a fiery sparkler. I am enough, without needing to push my energy out into the world. This feels like the difference between authenticity and personal brand.

As you can see here, I am still very much in the wrestling phase with these ideas. I haven’t corralled them into a coherent narrative of how I will be going forward. I am exploring a new equilibrium between my exuberance and trusting my presence.

Enough.

Go Team 2025: Take Care of Today’s You
ADHD · advice · fitness · habits · health · mindfulness · motivation · self care

Go Team 2025: Take Care of Today’s You

Christine Hennebury1 Comment

Hey Team,

While trying to strike a balance between overplanning and just kind of winging-it, my ADHD-brain often forgets that there are many options in between those two extremes.

I can have a tentative plan. I can have a list (or jar) of ideas to pick from. I can have a flowchart of if-thens. I can follow a plan and then adjust the pieces that aren’t working for me.

I can…probably think of eight million different ways of approaching the things I want to do.

However, all of the options between those extremes really come down to one thing: It’s always a good idea to be responsive to (and take care of) Today’s Me.

The me who makes plans often imagines perfect conditions for today’s me.

She forgets that I might be busy or sick or uncomfortable or upset or helping someone else or just plain unable to do the things she set out for me to do.

Changing my plans in response to Today’s Me’s needs is not slacking off, it’s not giving up, it’s not getting sidetracked.

Actually, since all of my fitness/well-being goals are really about taking good care of myself long-term, changing my plans in response to Today’s Me’s needs is actually getting me closer to those goals instead of further away.*

Giving myself room to change, adapt, or adjust Past Me’s plans is a vital part of learning to take good care of all versions of myself – past, present, and future.

And the same goes for you, Team.

The steps that lead you toward your goals will not look the same every day. Sometimes you will have the capacity to take bigger steps, sometimes your steps will be smaller, and sometimes you will need to rest. And, of course, the information you gather over time will occasionally lead to you taking a whole different path or choosing a whole different goal.

It only makes sense for you to respond to Today’s You’s needs so you can continue to support all of the versions of you going forward.

Being kind to yourself like this is really a life-long practice, hey? (Yeah, I know. I had kind of hoped I could just learn it once and then keep going, too.)

Here is your gold star for your efforts today whether you are able to respond to Today’s You or whether you are still figuring out what that might look like.

I wish you ease either way.

A small painting of a smiley-faced gold star with black pinstripes in the background.
Image description: A small painting of a smiley-faced gold star with black pinstripes in the background is propped against a green background on my white desk.

*As someone with ADHD, I need to take a close look at whatever Today’s Me wants because I know that the me-of-this-moment may not be great at prioritizing or at thinking long-term. So responding constructively to Today’s Me’s needs might look a little different for me but it’s still important to do it. (I know just how stubborn Tomorrow’s Me will be if I am unkind to Today’s Me!)

Christine finds drinking tea easier than doing yoga
ADHD · fitness · habits · health · mindfulness · yoga

Christine finds drinking tea easier than doing yoga

Christine Hennebury1 Comment

Last week I outlined my plans for April and I thought I made things pretty easy for myself.

And I kind of did.

But, apparently, not quite easy enough.

It turns out that a mindful cup of tea – clear break- in the afternoon is a lovely addition to my day.

My days have felt a bit calmer.

I have gotten to have tea with friends three times, including tea with my sister Denise on her birthday.

I just feel really good about making a point to stop for tea and a rest.

And I’m sure that yoga would have a similar calming effect and would feel great for my body and my brain…

If I could remember to do it.

I mean, technically speaking, I have done yoga daily because I did a few focused stretches and a little time in Savasana (corpse pose) before heading to bed.

But that wasn’t what I had intended to do each evening.

My plan was to do a 10 minute yoga video before bed so a few stretches and some time in Savasana was not the kind of practice I was seeking.

Instead, it’s the kind of practice I end up doing when I realize moments before bed that I don’t have enough energy to do 10 minutes of movement – even gentle, restful movement.

So, since the tea practice is coming to me fairly easily, I will just let that one roll along and I will focus on figuring out how to remember to do that 10 minutes of yoga before I am too tired.

This week, I’ll experiment with setting an alarm for 9pm and see if that makes things easier.

And once I’m done my daily yoga, I’ll probably even have another cup of tea.*

A screencap of the alarm edit screen on an iPhone
Image description: A photo of the edit-alarm screen on my phone. The background is black and there are settings for the time (9:00 PM), Repeat (daily), Label (Yay for Yoga!), Sound (Constellation), Snooze (option is on),

A mug of tea and a drawing of a robot sit on a wooden table
This isn’t from this week, I just like this photo. Image description: a large glass mug decorated with stars is sitting on a wooden table. The mug is partially full of tea (a tea bag is still in the mug and the white tag is hanging over the side) and next to it is a green post-it note that has the word reminder at the top and below it is a drawing of a robot pointing to a sign that reads ‘Everyone needs to recharge!’

*Don’t worry about me drinking tea at 9pm. Mostly it’s ginger-peach tea but even if I have caffeine at that hour it won’t keep me up – this may or may not be related to my ADHD.

Christine’s April Plans
fitness · habits · health · mindfulness · motivation · self care

Christine’s April Plans

Christine Hennebury

I’m starting April while on a school storytelling tour with my friend Catherine (not blogger Catherine, a whole other marvellous Catherine) so the month is truly off to a good start.

Storytelling is great for my mental health and the fact that I am taking a break from my usual routine AND hanging out with a dear friend compounds the positive effects.

And this tour has been good for my physical health too because Catherine is a big proponent of finding energy by getting outdoors. So there have already been several times when her choice to go for a walk has shifted me into a more active rest mode after a busy day instead of just sitting around.

(To be clear, there are times when sitting around would be the right thing to do but in this case the walk felt waaaaaaaay better.)

Since the month is starting on such a positive note I have decided to add more positive health elements.

1. I found out yesterday that April is Afternoon Tea Month which is definitely a made-up kind of commemoration but as an avid maker-up-of-things, I’m here for it.

I’m going to celebrate by taking an afternoon tea break every day.

I can hear my sisters’ voices as I write that, “Chris, don’t you already drink tea every afternoon?”

And the answer is “Of course I do!”

But my April plan to to focus on the ritual of it, the making of the tea, the clearing of mental space, the sitting down to drink it.

This isn’t going to be a ‘drink tea at my desk while working’ kind of thing, it’s going to be an actual break in my afternoon.

A cup of tea in an octopus mug
One of my favourite cups for tea (a gift from my friend Mary) Image description: a cup of tea sitting on a small mat on my table with my ebook slightly out of focus in the background. My cup has a blue octopus on the side (only part of it is visible) and it has an ice cream cone held in one of its tentacles.

So that’s a small April addition for my mental health, now on to my physical health.

2) I mentioned last week that I am following the Active April calendar so that is staying part of the plan but I am also going to really commit to evening yoga (again!) and I have made a YouTube playlist to choose from each day.

And since I know sometimes get stuck in the decision making process, I am giving myself the default that if I can’t pick one, I have to choose the video immediately after the one from the night before.

I have often done evening yoga before and I throughly enjoy it when I do but I have gotten out of the habit so this is as good a time as any to get started again.

What are *your* plans for April?

a mixed media piece is gold, black, green and blues with stickers, paper, markers, and paint Christine’s Jumbled Brain Seeks Calm
ADHD · advice · meditation · mindfulness · self care

Christine’s Jumbled Brain Seeks Calm

Christine Hennebury

My brain has been VERY jumbled for the past few days.

On top of all of the things going on in the world as a whole, several friends are going through some heavy things so I am trying to be there for them, and, of course, I have some very ordinary (but still quite present) brain-jumbling stresses:

There was a mix-up with my prescription for my ADHD meds and I had to do without them for three days, I had a migraine, my back and my knee were both giving me trouble, I had a lot of finicky-detail work to do, we’ve had a lot of the kind of wind that puts my nerves on edge, and, through no fault of my own, all kinds of small things have gone awry in ways that required me to do a lot of back-and-forth to get them fixed.

By today (Monday), my brain had just noped out.

It would only do what absolutely HAD to be done and even some of that was kind of a hard sell.

Luckily, while puttering this morning, I came across a note-to-self from a while back that said, “If you can’t do your work, give yourself permission to play. No point in just being annoyed, might as well make something fun.”

My brain felt kind of thick and stubbornly refused to suggest anything to make but then I found a YouTube video by Amy Tangerine called “1000+ pages in journals done with one simple trick” in which she invites the viewer to gather their supplies and make something while she talks.

So I made this. It’s not finished – it needs something horizontal and somewhat rectangular to go over the spot where the dark blue meets the light blue there in middle near the bottom. I haven’t found the right thing yet, but I will.

a piece of multi-media art with torn paper, stickers, markers and paint that kind of looks like a landscape in blue, green, gold, and black
Can you spot where I got smears of paint on my desk from trying to clean off the spots of paint that landed beyond the paper when I flicked by brush to make the dots? I am a true artiste! image description: a mixed-media image that is sort of a landscape in black, green, gold, and two shades of blue. On the upper left is a black moon with tiny torn pieces of green paper overlaid like clouds. On the upper right is a cloud cut out of scrapbook paper that kind of looks like an old letter. The bottom right is a larger piece of torn green paper that forms a kind of a slope with two flower stickers and a butterfly sticker on it. The bottom left is painted light blue and a there’s a darker blue mass and in combination it kind of looks like a blue iceberg floating on water. There are thin gold and black lines extending from the left of the paper to the dark blue. Everything is outlined in gold and there are blue flecks of paint all over the white background.

Focusing on that small creative project helped a lot but it occurred to me that I have been feeling extra jumbled quite often lately and I have saved quite a few things that seemed helpful.

So, I thought I would share them with you in case you have been feeling extra jumbled lately, too.

Remember that the goal of all of this isn’t to push away our feelings or to pretend that everything is fine all the time. This is all about trying to create space for us to deal with stress, with our emotions (and with all of the damn things that are cluttering up our brains) in a way that is more effective and less overwhelming.

Now, speaking of overwhelming, please don’t make the mistake that I tend to and attempt to try everything here all at once or all in one day.

Just pick one thing that has some appeal and see how it feels.

Give it a real chance though, at least a few minutes. Sometimes when I feel jumbled, I expect instant results and then I kind of hop from attempted solution to attempted solution without really getting into any of them.

Guess what? That makes me even MORE jumbled and then I get annoyed, which is not a good combination.

Anyway, here are some of the things I am keeping on hand for my own jumbled brain. I hope they help and/or they inspire you to create your own resource list.

I wish you ease, my friends.

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Here’s a video from Yoga with Adriene that I find quite soothing:

And this guided meditation for stress relief is helpful:

And you know I am a fan of this breathing exercise to calm anxiety – I’m sure I have posted it a dozen times!

These tips from Anna the Anxiety Coach on Instagram have a lot to recommend them:

The Shabby Creek Cottage posted some excellent advice in this series called ‘How to Calm Your Ass Down’:

This journaling video has some good ideas as well.

And, finally, I’ve heard that ‘heavy work’ exercises can be helpful. A young friend of mine was told that taking action when anxiety strikes can help ground you in your body. They were advised to do squats, to push hard on the wall, or to carry something heavy up and down the stairs and it really seemed to help them in the moment. Here’s more advice on that topic.

Feel free to add your own suggestions in the comments.