Personally, I had to shift my WFP a little and do parts of the craft yesterday and then finish it today.
Breaking it into two parts was actually a space-making move for me because I was tired yesterday and didn’t have the focus I needed to do the more detailed parts of the project.
If I had pushed myself to keep going, it wouldn’t have felt like I was creating space, I would have felt rushed and cranky.
And, obviously, those are not the feelings I was going for!
Anyway, I hope your WFP worked out/is working out the way you need/needed it to and that you were kind to yourself in the process.
Actually, I would like you to be kind to yourself in every process but that, in itself, is something that takes a lot of practice!
Speaking of processes and practice, our movement practice for today is a 10 Minute Full Body Pilates Workout with Jessica Valent.
Remember that the key here is to take a few minutes for movement – you can adapt her movements, just do a few, or you can do something else entirely.
You are the boss of you!
Still image description shows the instructor outside on a sunny day, lying on a blue mat in a grassy field surrounded by trees. She is in exercise clothes and she is extending one leg along the ground while the other one is extended toward the sky and she is holding onto the calf of her raised leg. Her face is toward the camera and she’s smiling.
Today, I’d like to remind you that little spaces are good.
Sometimes, I write off taking little breaks because I imagine that, if I just keep puttering along, a bigger space will open up and I will be able to REALLY relax.
And sure, that works out sometimes but mostly I find that if I don’t take those little breaks, if I don’t enjoy those little spaces in my schedule, I am too tired to enjoy the big ones that do come along.
So, my space making friends, please, please, please, stop and chat with your friend, write in your journal, do a couple of stretches, savour your cup of tea or coffee, do a two minute drawing.
Those small spaces are good for you.
Yes, it’s still important to seek bigger spaces, longer rest, and more fun, but let’s not dismiss the restorative power of those little spaces.
Please do what you can to take good care of yourself by taking those breaks whenever you find (or make!) them.
Now, onto your Weekend Fun Plan.
I don’t know whether you planned your Weekend Fun for yesterday, today, or tomorrow, but I hope it goes off without a hitch and you have a delightful time.
BUT
What if you get to your time for Weekend Fun and you can’t actually do the thing?
May you’re sick or your kid needs you or you couldn’t get the thing you needed to make it work.
First, let me say that I’m sorry it didn’t work and that it is ok for you to be grumpy about it.
Second, once your initial frustration eases a little, you could try a modified version of your Weekend Fun and see how it feels.
Finally, if your Weekend Fun Plan cannot happen this weekend, please reschedule it.
Yes, I do mean reschedule.
Please don’t just abandon it or put it off until you get around to it.
Pick a different time and plan to do it then.*
I promise it will feel much different than hoping you’ll get to it at some point.
A changed plan is way better than an abandoned one.
And whether you get your Weekend Fun or whether you have to change or reschedule it, I wish you ease and self-kindness in the process.
Now, onto today’s smal spaces –
For our movement practice today, here’s Yes2Next with a Seated Core Workout.
Still image: A senior mother and her middle aged daughter seated in chairs with their legs extended forward. The mother has her arms crossed flat to her chest, the daughter has her arms extended. There is a light coloured rug beneath their chairs.
And here’s our mindfulness practice for today – Minute Meditation to Drop Into the Present Moment from Mindful Moments with Katie.
Still image description: a cartoon depiction of a person sitting cross-legged on a couch with their arms extended overhead. On the left side of the image is an orange blob with the title of the video on it in white. There is a blue background in the image.
Have fun out there! 💚🌟💚
*and if that time doesn’t work, re-reschedule! Your fun is worth the effort.
How have you been doing with the plan to make some space for yourself over the past two days?
Don’t worry if it has been tricky to find wiggle room – we can just keep practicing. 🙂
Before we get into the exercise and meditation suggestions for today, let’s do another small step on the Weekend Fun Plan.
Yesterday, you picked some small, fun thing that you wanted to do on the weekend.
(You didn’t get a chance to pick something? Well, I’ve got some good news for you – this is not a test and it is not a timed exercise. You can pick something now!)
So, once you have your fun thing picked out, let’s figure out a time when you are most likely to be able to do it.
What is your time like on the weekend? Do you have scheduled activities? Do you have to work around other people and/or other people’s activities? Is your activity time-based? (For example: Making yourself a fancy lunch will usually have to happen at lunch time and walking around to look at holiday lights will usually be more fun after dark.) What kind of energy will you need for your fun thing? (For example: You can journal for a few minutes before bed but that’s not an ideal time to do an intense workout.)
You don’t have to address every possible aspect here, just get a rough idea of the best timing for your fun and make note of it on your calendar/schedule/post-it note/mental map.
Look at us taking care of ourselves in advance! Go Team Us!
Meanwhile, let’s also take care of ourselves today.
Please remember that I am not insisting that you must do these videos – they are just a suggestion to save you the hassle of trying to find videos for yourselves. Please do whatever *you* want to do that will help your day feel a bit more spacious.
First up, we have a video from MadFit called ‘5 MIN MIDDAY ENERGY BOOST (A workout for when you feel like taking a nap)‘ Normally, my strongly pro-nap stance would be against anything that prevents you from taking a nap but I grudgingly admit that naps are not *always* the solution and sometimes some movement can help you feel almost as good as a nap.
still image from the video shows the instructor in exercise clothes with one hand on her hip and one arm stretched overhead, text next to her reads 5 MIN Energy Boost
And our meditation suggestion for today is ‘5 Minute Meditation Music to Focus Your Mind’ from 5 Minutes By Great Meditation. Lately, I have especially enjoyed meditation tracks that are just music and I really liked this one today.
still image from the video shows a person sitting back-on the camera facing the sun rising over a wooded hill in the distance. The person is cross-legged with their forearms resting on the knees and their index fingers are touching their thumbs on each hand, forming a circle. The grass in front of them and the trees to the sides are slightly lit by the sun.
No matter how much (or how little) space you make for yourself today, I wish you ease and some peace of mind.
Your well-being is at least as important as anything else on your list and you deserve your own attention.
As you make your way through the first Monday in December, I have a little challenge for you.
I know, I know, the last thing you want is something else to do BUT this is only tiny and it will totally be worth it.
I would like you to pick a small, fun thing that you like to do that you will be able to do sometime next weekend.
It can be really small – drinking a cup of tea while listening to music, going for a walk, or doing some colouring- or it can be a bit bigger but ideally will take you less than half an hour.
Then, throughout this week, we are going to figure out how to make it easier for you to make space for that task on your weekend.
(Since ADHD makes it challenging for me to break projects into tasks AND tends to make me overthink my free time, I’ll be planning this small, fun thing along with you, of course.)
These small, fun moments are the kinds of things that not only give us a little breathing room but they can also be the things that make us feel seasonal.* idea here is that we will give ourselves a little something to look forward to and we will set ourselves up for success by creating space for it bit by bit as we go along.
As we make some space for future us, we can also make space for the us of today by giving these videos (or another exercise/meditation of your choice) a whirl.
Still image shows three people with big smiles in an outdoor setting that has a red and green and snowflake effect overlaid on it. The person in front has his hands at shoulder height, palms towards us and fingers splayed outward. The two people in back on either side have their arms overhead, crossed at the wrists to make themselves into a ‘tree’ shape.
Our meditation today is from Nature Harmony TV and features just the sound of waves and paddling as someone canoes across a body of water. (If you need to pee, go before you start this meditation!)
Still image shows a calm body of water with land and a lighthouse in the distance on a bright but not super-sunny day.
Whether you do these videos, videos of your choosing, or something else entirely, I hope you can make some space for yourself today and I wish you ease 💚
*For example, when I think of good feelings in December my mind often goes to sitting in a specific chair in my living room, with a mug of tea in hand, looking out through our patio door at the lights on the patio rail. That’s not normally something I would think to consciously choose to do but if I don’t DECIDE to do it, I can get so caught up in other tasks that I FORGET to take those few moments.
It’s December 1st and we’re back with the another edition of Making Space, a series of (mostly) short posts designed to encourage you to make a little space for yourself this month.
No matter what you celebrate (or don’t celebrate!), December is one of those months of ambient stress and busy-ness. There are so many posts and articles full of lists and ideas about how to do more, more, more, and so much discussion of finishing things before the end of the year, or getting ‘the most’ out of the rest of 2024, that it is enough to make your head spin.
Now, I am NOT pretending that you aren’t busy.
And I am not going to be doing any vaguely condescending posts about how if you *just* change your attitude then all the hecticness will just melt away.
Instead, I am going to acknowledge that we all have a lot going on at this point in the year AND I am going to invite you to make a little space for yourself in your days.
Each day, I will post a short exercise/physical activity video and a short meditation/mindfulness video that you can do if you WANT to.
If the videos I post don’t appeal to you, I hope that you will still create some space for yourself and pick something *YOU* like to do.
(Taking a nap, texting a friend, drinking a very slow cup of tea, lying on the floor staring at the ceiling – those all count as making space.)
Giving yourself that space is worthwhile and important, even if you have to ditch something else from your to do list.
So, with all of that said, let’s start on the right foot (ha!) with this short video ‘Foot Stretch for Healthy Feet‘ from Yoga with Bird.
A YouTube video of foot yoga – the still image shows a woman sitting on a yoga mat with her legs crossed and she is massaging her left foot with both hands.
And here’s 1 minute of drawing meditation/mindfulness from Tamara Michael. If you don’t have a pen and paper handy, you could draw with your finger or just breath in and out along with her drawing.
A YouTube video of a drawing meditation that shows a person’s hands drawing lines and dots on a white coil-bound sketchpad. They draw a squiggly line downward for breathing in and a series of dots next to that line for breathing out.
I hope you are able to make the space you need in your day.
It was intended to be peaceful. Like so many people who go on retreats of one stripe or another, I was longing for peace, space, somewhere to settle my mind away from the everyday world. In November of 2022, I experienced a blow to my soul and started a journey that took some time to ripen and reveal how much pain there was. You’d think this was a break-up, a death, and in a way, I suppose it was. It sounds pretty mundane, I had to deal with a grossly misbehaving staff at the little school I run, I had another teacher who could not run from their long COVID symptoms. One by one, the pillars of the program dropped away, the students grumbled in discontent, some with real rage at our historical and present failures, and then, the painful reckoning. . .put it down, wind it up, move along. What did that mean about me? What did failure to continue this legacy mean for the community? What did I need?
The first thing I knew I needed was to stop and do nothing, or at least carve out time in the persistent hell-scape of responsibility to stop and do nothing for a half hour here or there. Mindfulness, something I had trained in a long time ago, was calling me back and I started to look for places to practice that. I knew I needed a practice and a community. I needed somewhere to sit with my pain and disappointment and see what else was there. I needed to finally deal with this suffering and all the suffering it was built on. I got a lot more than I was expecting.
The first lesson I realized I had missed in my previous sterile-ish training in “medicalized Mindfulness” was that mindfulness was not the end, it was a means. You have to be mindful of something, mostly the body and the body in the environment and the breath and the feelings and the chit chatter of the mind. Once mindful, then what? What do I do with this body that has a constriction in the breath I can’t name, that is hiding in plain sight? Once I started to ask that question, what is here? I couldn’t stop. My off and on practice became an “on” practice and then things started to get real.
My sitting and noticing and longing for that unnamed thing led me to France, about an hour’s train ride outside of Bordeaux at the Lower Hamlet of the Plum Village Monastery, in the dead heat of summer, for a week of retreat in that tradition. Vietnamese Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh (who passed away in the winter of 2022) founded this place in the wake of his exile from Vietnam for his peace activism around the “American War” (which is what the Vietnamese call it). His particular communication of Buddhism was where I couldn’t resist but land. There is so much joy in it. There are ways to understand purpose, relating, living ethically and along with all of that, it’s bloody hard.
5am wake up, sitting meditation for 30 minutes, a reading for 15 more, 20 minutes of physical activity, breakfast in silence, 1.5 hours of a talk on a particular aspect of practical ethics, or dealing with people, or our own death, then walking mediation, then lunch in silence, then relaxation (guided or on your own) then sharing, then dinner. . .in silence, then an evening meditation and bed at 9:30. It was a joy to follow that schedule and a physical trial. It was 39 degrees some days. Everything was slow, everything should be slow, but the pain of slowing was so evident in my body. It did not like that, although it knew that was the only way. All my habits of mind, the habits of body, the slouching, the struggle to sit “properly” the striving, the adapting, this stuff was no longer in the undertone of my awareness. It was all my awareness. And then briefly, every once and a while, I could balance all my bones just so and things would relax as they were meant to (should? Needed to? Who knows?). I felt the peace in my body of that moment. There was no striving or effort-fulness. There was just my body that belonged in the world. In the words of a Zen Master, I was touching the Ultimate. You know what? There is a lot of space in there.
Have I lost you? Is it a cult? Well, there was lots of protein and no one yelled at me when I didn’t make it to any part of the program. No one asked me for my life savings. No one told me I had to drop any previous tradition, or only associate with the Plum Village people. They were more interested in my state of practice, how I was inhabiting my body most of all. Where does the body lead? The mind is so tricky. The body tells the truth. This wisdom is present in my work as a therapist too, everything seamlessly sense making. I came home exhausted, aching. Physically, I do not feel better, but in my heart, I have moments of freedom and peace that are pointing where I go next. In noticing my body every day all the time, paying attention to it, giving it space to speak, I’m finding out quite a bit. I always knew I loved my work, but I am now sure that my work as a therapist and teacher is truly my joy and I have ideas about what I will do next after this last year of teaching in my soon to be closed entirely little school. The idea that therapist is a calling has solidified and I no longer feel silly about saying it. I won’t be a nun, but I sure will be a therapist and sit in the joy of that. My body is aging and I can’t escape that. I will enjoy every moment of its continued existence and not yell at it internally if it aches and can’t ever do a “real” push-up. I will listen to what it says about what I need and continue to decipher its cryptic messages. I have committed to moving towards what is here and not away. It’s getting easier and easier to moderate my content consumption to the basic and necessary and to notice when I’m hiding in consumption.
I’m so grateful for the experience of the suffering that led to the seeking that led me here back home in my body. This is a notion that is all over many styles of Buddhist teaching but I’m not cribbing from any of that right now. It’s just evident. It’s what happened.
Will I do this again? For sure. Things I will change? I will bring a little rechargeable fan for the stinking hot sleeps and and sugar for my instant coffee. But otherwise, I have everything I need to be happy, right here in this present moment, and I’m grateful for taking the time to see this so clearly.
As we cruise into the last month of summer (don’t blame me for this, I just work here), I’m finding myself settling into the feel-good lane: not super ambitious, but instead on the lookout for activities that bring satisfaction and a feeling of having treated my mind and body to something good (and good for me.)
Two such recent activities come to mind. The first, while I was at Chautauqua in western NY with aunt Cathy, was a gong meditation we attended. We gathered in a church sanctuary, sitting upright on pews, casually attired (no fancy church hats were spotted). The meditation leader guided us through some gentle standing stretches and breathing exercises, then suggested we lie down on the pews or the church floor for the gong meditation.
I plopped down on the center aisle floor (the first time I’ve ever experienced a church from a supine position), while aunt Cathy stretched out on a pew. The other attendees did variations on sitting and reclining.
Then the gong began. I have found that I love gongs. Not that I want one for my house, although they can look really cool in the appropriate spot.
A large gong by the fireplace can be an attractive addition to any interior, don’t you think?
The gong created low, shimmery sounds and also vibrations we could feel in our bodies (hence the advantage to lying down). It also relaxed several people into falling asleep immediately, which just isn’t a bad thing. The gong part of the meditation lasted maybe 15 minutes, and then we shifted into guided meditation, and finally more gentle movement. As I glided out of the church, I felt yummy. And slightly hungry, so we went back to our condo and made lunch.
Friday night, my local yoga studio (Artemis) started a late-summer series of gentle flow-and-restore sessions. My friend Norah and I went and were treated to 75 minutes of gentle stretches and twists, alternating with more passive postures matching the stretches and twists.
Our teacher (Victoria) used a variation on restorative child’s pose where the front of the bolster was lifted by two blocks. That was so much more comfortable for me. One other tip for larger-breasted folks (which a yoga teacher blog reader gave me) is to fold a blanket longways and put it on the bolster at chest-level, giving you a little more space between you and the bolster. I did this, too, and enjoyed this pose more than I ever have.
Regular unsupported child’s pose.Supported pose, bolster and two blocks.Supported pose with two bolsters.
I’m looking forward to more Friday night gentle flow and restore classes in August. Yes, I’m also swimming and biking and walking and such, but these slow-down movements and meditations feel like a perfect addition to what’s been a rather lovely summer.
Readers, what about you: are you ramping up activity for August, getting in the last extended hikes, bike trips, etc.? Are you slowing down, puttering in the garden and splashing in nearby water? I’d love to hear from you.
Over the past week, I have been choosing to do longer guided meditations in my Insight Timer app.
So, that means that instead of just opening the app and starting the timer, I’ve been searching for new meditations to try.
On Sunday, a typo led to the happy accident of discovering that there are a whole bunch of dog-related meditations mixed in there with the chakra stuff and the nature sounds.
At first I thought it was kind of silly (in a good way!) but then there was something strangely appealing about the idea of doing a dog-related meditation.
After all, dogs are pretty damn good at being in the moment, aren’t they?
And haven’t I often posted a calm picture of Khalee as a good example for myself.
You know, like this one:
Image description: a photo of sleepy Khalee on the quilt on my bed. The photo only shows her head, shoulders, and front paws. Her head is resting slightly sideways one her front paws with one paw sticking out from under it.
So, I figure it’s worth a try.
I can’t seem to link to the meditations in my app but here are a couple from YouTube:
This is a guided meditation to do while petting your dog, to help you both calm down.
‘5 Minute Guided Meditation With Your Dog’ from Marissa Walch. Still image shows the instructor sitting on the floor with her dog in front of her, the dog’s back is to the camera.
And this is a walking meditation to do while, you guessed it, walking your dog:
‘Walking Your Dog Meditation’ from Marie Wilkinson still image shows a stock cartoon image of a brown dog with white paws walking on a leash.
I’m going to give these, and the ones from my app, a try and report back.
Have you tried dog meditation?
What did you think?
PS – Speaking of things that seem silly but are actually kind of cool, maybe your dog will like this calming music as much as Khalee does? I played it for her once when she was agitated because the smoke alarm was beeping (the battery needed changing, there was no peril!) and it really helped.
In case you hadn’t noticed yet, May 21 is World Meditation Day. What’s it about, apart from the obvious? According to India Today, it’s just what it says: a time to think about pausing and existing in the here and now.
This day is all about encouraging people to meditate and showing the benefits of meditation to everyone. It’s a chance to think about how meditation can help us relax, feel better both mentally and physically, and connect.
The day focuses on the importance of meditation for keeping peace, clarity, and strength. World Meditation Day helps us take care of our mental and emotional health.
Meditation is a simple practice that can help everyone. By meditating, we can connect with our inner selves, become more aware, and manage our emotions better.
Yeah, I can totally get behind that. In fact, I’ve sort of been preparing for today, using the ramp-up exercises from my Ten Percent Happier app. Last week, they started the big countdown with an activity for each day leading up to today. Here’s their seven-day list:
set an intention– it could be for more focus, or serenity, or gratitude, whatever.
take a tech timeout– set aside some time with no notifications or noise from phones, computers, etc.
eat a mindful meal– create a meal for yourself to be eaten without distractions, just noticing the food, the environment, and your own senses.
do some mindful listening– take some time to sit/stand/lie down/walk with a focus on listening to the sounds around you.
reflect on gratitude– think about what and who you are grateful for in this moment, in these times, in this life.
embrace simplicity– this isn’t about cleaning out your closets, but rather asking yourself what you actually need and bringing your attention there. This is my favorite one.
So, what am I doing for World Meditation Day? I’ve done my morning meditation, and will take some extra time to do a walking one. I’m dog sitting, so it may be combined with walking Dixie the dog. And I wrote this blog post to share with you the possibilities for today and other days moving forward.
I also wrote this post to share with you a picture of a cute frog meditating. Om.
A brass frog, serenely sitting with froggy legs crossed. By Soren Funk for Unsplash.
When I teach writing, I remind people that writing often is a good thing because it helps make your writing skills more available to you when you need them.
And I often compare that situation to doing kicking drills in Taekwondo. The drills aren’t just about exercising/adding strength they are about making my kicking skills more available to me when I need them.
Over and over I have proven to myself that doing the thing often makes it easier to do the thing when I need/want to.
Soooo, why do I have trouble remembering that fact when it comes to relaxation exercises and meditation?
I’m not a stressball at the moment, nor do I lack opportunities for relaxation, but, I do feel that my base level of stress could be a lot lower.
And I have some small practices in place:
I do a very, very short meditation every day and I do a longer one on occasion. (Every time I do a longer meditation, I ask myself why I don’t do them more often.*)
And I have relaxation music/visualizations that I listen to sometimes and I have relaxing drawing practices that I usually only remember to do when I am already feeling a little frayed around the edges.
But, even though I know that doing important practices more often makes them more available to me, I don’t apply that rule to relaxation practices or to longer meditations.
I know that if I practice relaxation exercises (visualizations, music, drawing) more often, I will have a deeper well of relaxation to draw from.
I know that meditating for longer feels better in the moment AND brings me more ease overall.
I know that lowering my base level of stress will help me to be responsive rather than reactive when something goes awry.
And, yet, my brain still manages to convince me that the practices are too long or too much trouble to do on a regular basis.
Irritating, hey?
So, Fit is a Feminist Issue friends, I officially declare that it is time for me to make a change.
I am fed up with this flaw in my thinking and I am going to correct it.
I am going to turn my relaxation/meditation practices into another example of skills that are available to me because I use them often.
