Tonight, I begin my 17th year of Taekwon-do training and I am very much looking forward to taking my place in line with my friends, bowing in, and leaning into the muscle memory of all of those years of training.
Last year was a rough one for my TKD practice/progress.
After my injury in October (that I didn’t uncover until April) I found it increasingly difficult to participate fully in class and I struggled to practice effectively and my ADHD was not helping, and, and, and…let’s just say things were HARD on my brain and on my body.
So, it was a great relief to discover that there was a REASON why everything was so hard and that I could find ways to make them easier (not easy but easier) again.
It was wonderful to know that the JOY of familiar movement could and would outweigh the challenge once my injuries healed – and that’s what I know I will find at class tonight.
At this point, being a martial artist is a vital part of my identity.
Putting on my dobok, going to class, and moving through my patterns and drills in the company of my friends helps me feel like myself.
After that, the fact that taekwon-do challenges my mind and my body is just a bonus, really.
See you tonight, my TKD friends!
Image description: My taekwon-do black belt rests on a light surface. The gold embroidery has C. Hennebury IV on one end of the belt and Tae Kwon Do in Korean on the other end.
PS – If you are wondering how I did with my plan to prepare for this first class? Well, as usual, various things conspired against me and I had to rework my plan considerably. However, the act of creating that zine helped me to keep TKD prep in mind so I did far more preparation than I would have otherwise and I feel good about the whole thing.
Since I spent most of the time between October 2024 and June 2025 either injured or recovering from an injury, it was not a great year for me at TKD.
I didn’t really have my usual capacity (and didn’t know why) and it was hard for me to invest the level of mental and physical effort required to properly practice.
Without the ability to practice/participate fully, I couldn’t properly enjoy TKD and I couldn’t get as much out of it as I normally would.
There’s nothing that can be done about last year, of course, but I’m determined to have more fun, do more work, and just get more out of my classes) this year.
While it would have been ideal if I had been practicing steadily all summer, that wasn’t possible for me, so I’m working with the time I have.
Aside from the fact that I was still easing back into my normal activities over the summer, I have to allow for my ADHD brain’s variable sense of time, in particular for something that is primarily related to myself. The start of TKD was in the ‘not now’ up until this week until the time frame suddenly shifted to ‘now.’ Once that shift happened, I had much more clarity around how to set myself up for a fun year at TKD.
Soooooo, once that clarity arrived I made a plan for the next 2.5 weeks and then I put that plan into a zine.
I like the zine format because it’s small and contained and it makes the project feel more doable.*
It’s not a super-structured plan (my brain noped out of that immediately!), I just wrote down all the things I could do to start prepping for class and then organized them onto the various pages with a way to track them (or a space to write notes about them) and it feels useful.
I intend to do some things daily (mobility exercises and yoga), some things almost daily (some focused cardio), and others 3-4 times between now and the first day of class (each of my patterns.)
As I mentioned above, the time frame between now and the beginning of classes is short enough that my ADHD brain will accept that time is real and that it is ok to prep for something happening that soon.
My plan is specific enough to ensure that I don’t have to spend too much time deciding what to do in the moment and, yet, flexible enough to let me choose what feels like the most fun on any given day.
I may not fill in all the little circles, stars, and hearts but I am going to work towards it and then be VERY kind to myself if I ‘just’ get 10 or 12 hearts coloured in. After all, 10 or 12 hearts is waaaaaaaaay better than what I would do otherwise.
Frankly, I’m looking forward to challenging myself over the next couple of weeks.
Realistically, ANYTHING I do to prepare will help me head into that first class feeling more like my old self.
And I really like that idea.
KiYA!
Image description: a photo of the cover of my practice zine. It says ‘TKD Prep Work’ on the top half with spirals behind the TKD, arrows pointing to the word Prep, and dots surrounding the word Work. On the bottom half it says August 21 to September 9. The text at the bottom is surrounded by a black frame.Image description: The photo is in portrait view but the text, etc. is in landscape. A photo of an inner page of my practice zine with the word Mobility at the top with trackers (circles to colour in) for hips, wrists, ankles, shoulders/neck. Image Description: a photo of a inner page of my practice zine with the word Cardio at the top, the outlines of 15 stars to colour in (as a tracker), and thin black lines in the background. At the bottom of the page there is a blank space with the words “Make a list:” at the top of it.Image description: a photo of the middle pages of my practice zine. This page has two trackers for two sets of the first group of patterns on the left side, and the name of the individual black belt patterns I know (or am working on) with circles beneath each one to track my practice for each one. The words ‘Black Belt Patterns’ are in the centre of the page. There are a few stars, some small dots, and a couple of spirals decorating the page. Image description: a photo of an inner page of my practice zine. The word Yoga is at the top and there are a bunch of hearts to colour in to track my yoga sessions.Image description: The page is divided into three sections. The top section is headed by the word Kicks then there is an empty space, the middle section is headed by the word Footwork with a space beneath it, the bottom section is headed by the words Punches and Strikes with a space beneath it.
*My ADHD brain perked up when I typed that. “Consider doing zines for other projects, Christine.” “Let’s make a note and revisit that later, Brain.”
I get a real kick out of portmanteau words. Spork, hangry, staycation, and maybe the best/silliest one I know– turducken– they all convey a humorous approach to efficiency and multitasking in meaning.
We smush words together all over the place, with food and technology terms especially (think cronut and webinar), but also with sports and physical activity. Here are some I found online, of which several the FIFI bloggers have written about or tried for ourselves:
Yogalates (yoga plus Pilates)
Broga (a combo of yoga and calisthenics exercises, with gender stereotype marketing– yuck)
Yinki yoga (yin yoga plus reiki)
Jazzercise (an oldie but a goodie)
Hyrox (a newish one; Sam wrote about it here; it stands for “Hybrid Rockstar”)
Acroyoga (acrobatic yoga, see pic below)
Doga (according to Wikipedia, a variant of yoga done with dogs, or for people, or for dogs)
Smiling while lifting those bags? They can’t be doing it right. Two folks in acrobatic yoga pose.AI dog in Sukhasana, easy pose.
But how many of you have heard of/participated in Ai Chi? Not me, until now.
Ai Chi refers to Tai Chi– gentle but powerful low-impact martial arts exercises– done in the water, generally a pool. One site explains it this way, focusing on benefits for older people:
Ai Chi, a modified, water-based form of Tai Chi, integrates slow, deliberate movements with deep breathing in a physical activity performed in shoulder-deep heated water. Developed to promote relaxation, it builds full-body strength and challenges balance in ways that typical strength training does not.
Unlike lifting weights or other exercises on solid ground, Ai Chi harnesses the natural resistance of water while buoyancy reduces joint strain.
The practice begins with uncomplicated arm and breathing exercises that gradually progress to coordinated, full-body movements. As participants alternate between narrow and wide stances, they continuously test their stability.
When I did a deeper Google dive into Ai Chi classes, I found a variety of different types of Ai Chi-ish workouts. Some look like aquatic therapy classes (done at rehab places for people recovering from surgery or injuries or managing medical limitations). Others are aquatic personal training that combine gentle water exercise with massage. Then there are the regular Ai Chi classes at places like your local YMCA. Mine offers them.
People in a pool, ai-chi-ing with arms out.People in a different pool, ai-chi-ing with arms out.Ai-Chi diagram of walking in water exercises.
The list of benefits that AI Chi-ing confers is very long. So is the list of conditions for which Ai-Chi is purportedly helpful. You can find them here.
One more thing about Ai Chi: according to one Ai Chi blogger, Tai Chi makes dogs more aggressive, but Ai Chi calms them. They cited one Ai Chi class that also soothed a nearby duck and blue heron. Imagine how it might chill us out…
Honestly, Ai Chi seems like a nice variant on Tai Chi movements and also a low-key alternative to water aerobics to make it tempting to try. I will report back if/when I take my Tai Chi to the pool, strip off the T, and add water.
Hey readers– have you tried Ai Chi? Do you like it? How does it compare to its dry land sibling? I’d love to hear from you.
My work doesn’t change much from season to season.
So, the only sign that fall is starting is that Taekwondo started up again on Tuesday night.
I thought it would be interesting (to me at least) to write a little bit about how I felt before class and a little bit about how I felt after and see how they matched up.
Here’s what I had to say beforehand:
My dobok is ready.
I do have dobok pants, they just looked strange when I laid them out flat so I took the photo without them. Image description: my dobok top – a long white shirt with black trim and two logos on the upper left – laid flat with my black belt laid on top of it.
And I’m ready…ish.
My brain is ready to go but even though I practiced a bit over the summer my body will probably be a bit rusty.
Luckily, after over 13 years of training, I know that the key to getting back into the swing of things is to just work through the rustiness until my muscles remember what to do.
Basically, they just need to be reminded of the things they already know.
Fortunately, being in my dobok and lined up with the other students in our training space will give my muscles the nudge they need to do what I have trained them to do.
And it’s such a great feeling when everything ‘clicks’ again.
*****
And here are my thoughts afterwards:
Oh, it’s so good to be back!
It was great to see everyone again and it feels strange to realize that two months have passed. (Sure, two months is not all that long but I’m used to seeing my TKD friends weekly.)
And it was wonderful to work our way slowly through the patterns, gently reminding our muscles that they know these movements, they know what comes next.
I felt competent and focused and purposeful, step by step, movement by movement, reminding myself of the skills I have built over all these years of training.
And while it has only been two months since I stood in that space practicing on that way, that’s enough time for your conscious mind to lose track of the details of those feelings.
It felt really good to revisit those details.
And moving slowly through those patterns on the first day felt like we were warming up for the year of training ahead. Slow deliberate movement, reinforcing skills, getting ourselves ready for what comes next.
And, like I predicted, it was a great feeling when things ‘clicked’ again.
Look how happy I looked after class!
Not my most flattering look but my friend Kevin made me laugh when he took this one and it matches the spirit of our class last night. Image description – Me in my white dobok with my hair pulled back by a green cloth band. I’m wearing glasses and I’m laughing with my eyes all scrunched up. I look kind of sweaty but that’s to be expected at a martial arts class.
I wanted to add a little extra to my daily routine in October so I’ve taken up two challenges for the month – the Action for Happiness Optimism challenge and the Darebee Daily Kicks challenge.
I like following short term challenges because 1) they set out a plan in advance so my brain doesn’t get stuck buffering about decisions 2) they aren’t making me commit to something in a future that is too far ahead for my ADHD brain to grasp.
This is just a jpeg of the calendar, you can print or download one at the Action for Happiness site. Image description: a multi-coloured October calendar full of daily optimism tips, decorated with small cartoon images of people walking, drawing and holding event tickets.
These specific challenges should be straightforward additions to my day because any day’s actions are big enough to matter to me but small enough to fit into nooks and crannies in my still-developing schedule.
And it helps that I am naturally inclined to optimism (this may be a good feature of my ADHD – I’m usually convinced that things are about to get better) and that kicks are not only good exercise but practicing them will have added benefits for Taekwon-do.
Print your own Daily Kicks challenge calendar/tracker and use the timer at the Darebee site. Image description: a screen capture of the header and first few days of the Darebee Daily Kicks challenge sheet which has the words Daily Kicks in large letters on the top right, multiple drawings of people kicking on the right and 5 days of kicks in listed in individual boxes at the bottom.
Will I get to both of these every day? I’m planning on it and I hope those plans work out.
But even my optimistic self knows that sometimes things go awry so I have a backup plan as well:
If I miss a day, I can do two the next day…if that feels doable. If doing two items feels like too much, or if I have missed several days, I’ll skip to the item for the current day.
The key here is to follow the practices for as many days as possible this month – aiming for more days on than off.
The only thing I *don’t* want is to follow the challenge for a few days, miss a couple, and then scrap the whole thing because I didn’t do it perfectly.
As long as the end of October still finds me working away at these, in any form or fashion, I’ll be successful.
During her Move program in January, Adriene (of Yoga with Adriene) emphasized how important it can be to think about how you move.
She invited us to consider the actual movements we made when relocating our hands to move between poses, the way we moved our legs into downward dog, the process of how we unrolled our spines to stand up.
This wasn’t about making us self-conscious, it was about grounding us in our bodies, about considering the movement habits that serve us and those that hinder us. It was about figuring out where we find ease and what parts of our bodies need more attention. It was about figuring out how to work with or work around the unique abilities of our individual bodies.
Even though this process made for a tricky line to walk between being mindful and overthinking, it really set me up well for practicing for my recent TKD belt test.
In the course of learning and practicing my patterns and other movements, I had to think about how I was moving. After all, it’s not just that my foot has to end up in a specific spot but I have to move it in a certain way to maximize my power, to increase my balance, to ensure that I can reach the target that I need to reach.
Even though my TKD skills are a work in progress (and always will be), concentrating a bit more on the specifics of my movements did help me a lot. Recognizing that in one of my patterns, I always place my foot down at the wrong angle gave me the opportunity to correct it and execute my pattern more accurately.
(Sidenote: I actually learned DURING MY TEST that I was getting another movement wrong and the correction from my instruction made a huge, immediate difference in the effectiveness of that technique. Another victory for the ‘how’ of movement.)
My latest stop for this train of thought is a video I did on Sunday. I felt like doing some yoga but I also wanted to do something a bit different so I had my metaphorical cake and ate it too by doing this video from Liv in Leggings.
A video from Liv in Leggings called Yoga & Mobility Hybrid. Still image shows a person in purple leggings and sports bra doing a twist pose on a rainbow mat against a purple background.
I really enjoyed it. She’s an engaging instructor and I found her ‘how’ explanations very clear even when I couldn’t quite execute the movements yet.
Considering the question of how – her explanations and my personal experience – helped me to be curious about even the most challenging movements.
That curiosity meant that I was intrigued rather than frustrated by the difference between the strength of my right arm and the strength in my left arm during a wheelish/bridge-ish pose where we had to support ourselves first on one arm and then on the other.
(I mean, I know that my right arm is stronger than my left and I know that I can be more precise with my right. But the difference was especially apparent on that one movement – and I could feel that I was moving differently as I was getting into the pose and I couldn’t hold myself steady in the same way while I was in it. I could support myself on my right arm for quite some time but my left arm started shaking almost right away.)
And it let me pay attention to my movements when doing twists so I could tell exactly which ones made the tight spot on the left side of my back protest. And I could see how small adjustments could bring some ease.
And, of course, overall focusing on the ‘how’ helped me to be more mindful and present while I was trying this new approach. That just seems like a good thing doesn’t it?
How much time do you spend thinking about the how of your movements?
Do you find it helpful? Does it make you more mindful?
PS- While all that shaking was going on I was really grateful for the various online yoga videos I’ve done from Adriene and Joelle Because they always refer to those kinds of shaking movements in a positive light. In their framework, it’s not about weakness in the shaking body part. It’s about energy flowing and about knowing that you’re alive and about putting the effort in. I think that’s a really encouraging way to look at it.
Remember a few months ago when I wrote about being the very model of a middle aged martial artist?
I’m at it again.
Last week, I had the honour of taking part in a photoshoot with my photographer friend, Amy Cleary.
I really enjoy the process of helping people with their creative projects, whether I am coaching, brainstorming, or participating in some way. So, I was having a great time observing Amy practice her craft while I was trying to create visually interesting movements.
That would have been plenty of fun for one afternoon but my enjoyment was enhanced by how excited Amy was about my TKD techniques and about the ideas she wanted to express with her photos.
While it would be possible to have a photoshoot and keep your subject as a passive participant, Amy doesn’t want to capture passivity, she wants to express the power of the person she is highlighting in her photos.
I enjoyed my afternoon with Amy and I appreciated her goal of focusing on the individual’s power but I didn’t give much thought to the end result. I basically considered myself kind of a prop for her creative expression.
I knew she would take artistic, interesting photos and I wasn’t worried about whether I would like how I looked in them. Whether I looked ‘good’ or not didn’t feel relevant to the project at hand.
And then she posted a photo from our shoot.
See what I mean? Determination, power, strength. This photo feels great! Photo credit: Amy Cleary Image description: an artfully shadowed photo of me in my white TKD uniform (dobok) and red sparring helmet and gloves. I am punching toward the camera with my right hand and I am holding my left hand back by my head. I am staring into the camera and I look very serious.
It was a revelation.
I still didn’t consider whether I looked ‘good’ or not. What I saw was that I looked POWERFUL and that felt GREAT.
It also felt like a surprise.
Because of my ADHD, unless I work to think otherwise, my brain divides time into ‘now’ or ‘not-now.’ Either I can accomplish the thing I want to do immediately or it gets put off to a time in the indeterminate future.
I find it very difficult to do a small thing now that won’t pay off until the distant future and, unless I consciously work at it, I have trouble believing that a series of small actions will add up to a great whole. I’m sure you can see that this perspective creates a lot of challenges around fitness and exercise.
After all, a single session of any type of exercise isn’t going to produce many tangible results so it’s hard to convince my brain to let me expend the energy now for something that can’t be ‘finished’ right away and that may not produce tangible results for a while.
So, when I try to think about my body looking powerful, it is always something that will happen in the future, in the ‘not-now.’
It’s not that I think of myself as weak – I know the ways that I am strong and I often FEEL powerful – but I have this idea of what powerful *looks* like and I didn’t think I was there yet.
So, that’s why the photo was a surprise.
I’m not heavily-muscled, I’m not at peak physical fitness, I’m rounded in places where many athletes are sleek, but my body is powerful just as it is and Amy’s photos showed me that.
I am delighted by my intense expression in this one. Photo credit: Amy Cleary Image description: a photo of me in my white TKD uniform with my hair pulled back in a black bandana. My body is oriented toward the right side of the photo but I am punching my right fist toward the camera and I am looking directly at the photographer over my extended arm/fist.
I don’t have to wait until the not-now.
I am powerful NOW.
And since I am already powerful, that changes my perspective on my current efforts. I am not starting from scratch, I am enhancing what already exists.
I did it! I just earned my 4th degree black belt in ITF Taekwondo!
I have a version of this post-test photo where I am smirking but I was so tired that my smirk made me look unhinged rather than mischievous so I chose this ‘pretty damn pleased with myself’ one instead. Image description – Master Scott Downey, Me, and Master Cathy Downey right after the test. They are both looking polished and professional in blue suits with white shirts and yellow ties, I am grinning and looking appropriately sweaty and disheveled in my white dobok and we are all standing in front of an International Taekwondo Federation flag.
The longer version goes like this:
After deciding that I was going to be bold about my test, something shifted in how I was preparing. I stopped trying to do things perfectly and started trying to do them well, started trying to feel more comfortable with my movements.
For me, being bold wasn’t about pretending I wasn’t nervous, it was about forging ahead anyway, about showing up with everything I had.
I had a few little spots of worry on Saturday when I just couldn’t make small sections of a few patterns work but I reached out to my TKD friends for reassurance and recruited my husband and my eldest son to help me.
My husband watched a YouTube video of one pattern while I was practicing it in the living room and let me know when my movements didn’t match. My son sat with my pattern instruction book in hand and read me the descriptions of certain sections so I could be sure I was moving correctly.
Me in my car before the test. I was trying to take a goofy photo but ended up looking more ‘resigned to my fate’ than I actually felt. I was a bit nervous but leaning a bit more toward excitement – or at least excitement to finally be done! Image description: a selfie of Christine, a white middle aged woman with a round face and chin length curly brown hair and green-framed glasses. She is sitting in the driver’s seat of her car, wearing her white dobok and smirking.
Overall though, I was far less nervous than I usually am. Deciding to be bold was one factor in that and the changes in my ADHD meds since my last test is definitely another but I also think that I am finally reaching the point in my training where things are coming together for me. I am more easily able to explain the purpose of my movements and I can more clearly see the connections between the theory and the practice in TKD.
That’s not to say that I am doing everything perfectly nor that I am applying my theory to every movement. Everyone in TKD is still a student, just some have more practice than others. As a 4th degree black belt (!) I am more advanced than many but I still have lots to learn.
Usually the morning before one of my tests would be a complete blur of nervousness and practice and stress. This time, though, I decided that my only practice would be to read the movement descriptions for my last three patterns. Instead of practicing and then hyperfocusing on small mistakes, I did yoga and meditated and drew a magic symbol on my wrist.
When I was testing for lower ranks, I used to do things like dyeing a strip of my hair and/or paint my nails the colour of my upcoming belt. For my last few tests, I have painted just my thumbnails black (to remind me to focus), but this time I drew a B for bold on my wrist and then put a star and a spiral next to it.
Sharpie tattoos don’t hold up well to three hours of exertion. The magic worked though. This was taken while I was relaxing on my patio at home after the test. Image description: My left forearm with a ‘magic’ doodle drawn in green sharpie. The drawing is an upper-case B (for bold) with a spiral (for releasing stress) on the left and a star (for effort) on the right. Behind my arm you can see part of my right leg (in black leggings) and my right foot (which is resting on my left knee) as well as parts of my patio, my yoga mat, and the grass in my yard.
A black belt test has a lot to it. I had 18 patterns to do (luckily two students were testing for 5th degree so I didn’t have to do any of the patterns alone at that point), then we did step-sparring (a coordinated attack/defense demonstration), self-defense, endurance drills, and a solo step-by-step demonstration of a pattern identifying the purpose of each movement. After all of that, we try to break some boards.
I did not do my patterns perfectly. Throughout the pandemic, we stopped doing the loud, rhythmic breathing that helps us execute our movements effectively, as well as keeping us all on track. I haven’t even been practicing with it much at home because I was afraid that I would unconsciously use it during class when I wasn’t supposed to. We have only recently gone back to including the breath sounds and we’re a little out of practice with it. And, it turns out, I have been practicing my movements just a little too slowly. The combination trying to speed up a little, adding my own breathing and being able to hear everyone threw me off a little in a few early patterns and then REALLY threw me off for my newest ones.
Since I was concentrating on remembering the movements and remembering to breathe loudly, I didn’t have enough mental space to ALSO choose to ignore everyone else’s breathing and movements. ADHD, after all, is not actually a deficit of attention, it is (among other things) an inability to decide where your attention should be focused. Between nervousness, the challenge of performing newish patterns with an audience while being graded on them, and the addition of the breath factor, I didn’t have the capacity to tune other people out.
But thanks to my instructors’ patience, and a healthy dose of perseverance for all concerned, we got through (and, for the record, I wasn’t the only one making mistakes, which was a comfort.) And even though I was a little slow in my movements, I did my final pattern effectively and I was VERY proud as I shouted the pattern name (Choi Yong) after the last move.
I felt sharp and purposeful for the step-sparring and self-defense and drills, and I was happy with my step-by-step pattern but I was THRILLED with my board breaking.
I did a speed-break hook kick, a 360 back kick, a flying side kick (with a slight modification to minimize jumping), a middle twist kick, and then…and then…
I BROKE A BOARD WITH A PUNCH!
At my very first board-breaking test (about 8 years ago), I tried a punch for my hand-technique but I didn’t coordinate all the elements of the movement properly and I really hurt my knuckles. Since then, I have broken boards with my elbow and my knife-hand (the side of your flattened hand) and my sidefist (aka – the side of your fist) but I couldn’t convince myself that I had the power to punch through a board.
I tried for my last test. In fact, I was supposed to jump up and punch two boards in succession but while I hoped to fluke into it, I didn’t really expect that it would happen.
This time though, I wanted to do it. And because my brain is getting better at applying my theory to my movements, I could think clearly about what I had done wrong before and make a good choice about how to make it work this time.
I used a reverse punch – which means that I had my left leg forward but I was punching with my right hand – so I could generate speed and power without having to move my feet (sometimes the choreography of footwork gets me tangled up.)
I lined myself up, measured my distance, and punched clear through the board as if I do it every day.
It felt like the biggest victory of a marvelously victorious day.
And this isn’t even all of my boards – these are just the pieces I took home. Ki-YA! Image description: a stack of pieces of pine board that have been broken in two by my kicks and punches. The stack is sitting on a red table outdoors.
Getting ready for this test was hard work. I’ve been learning and practicing all through the pandemic – sometimes in person, sometimes on Zoom. During that time, I have been dealing with a variety of challenges in all areas of my life but throughout it all, TKD has been a great way to take care of myself – giving me an external focus that had all kinds of personal benefits. I’m really grateful to have that outlet and I am grateful for the support of my instructors and my fellow students as I train.
Thank you to Master Scott Downey and Master Cathy Downey for the instruction and support, to Ms. Reid and Mr. Dyer for the instruction, trouble-shooting, and encouragement, to Ms. Vere-Holloway for the extra practice, to Mr. James for the encouragement, to Mr. Lake, Mr. Abbott, Mr. Hooper, Mr. Power, and Mr. Codner for holding all of those boards, and to Ms. Gathercole for the empathy. Special thanks to Steve and Alex for helping me with my last few practice sessions, to Lori Savory for choreography help, and to Team Codner for the on-site encouragement.
Congratulations to Ms. Vere-Holloway, Mr. Power, Ms. Gathercole, Mr. Abbott, Mr. Lake, Mr. Codner, and Mr. Hooper for your hard work and for your success yesterday!
I was so young and foolish then. That was back before a series of migraines (or was it just one long migraine?) and the associated pre & post symptoms kept me groggy and out of sorts for over two weeks in the first part of May.
Guess which dog represents me in early May? Image description: a GIF of two dogs at a car window. At first you see one alert dog looking out the window and then a second rises slowly next to the first, looking disheveled and only half-awake.
And that was before the perfectly reasonable amount of work tasks I had scheduled for those two weeks had to be jammed into the week before I had to travel to the other side of the country for a conference. And it was before I was travelling, and at a conference, and then off to a writing retreat, and then off to teach a workshop, and then teaching another workshop. And it was before my knee decided to get cranky for a few days and before my back got jealous and did the same.
So, let’s just say that my slow and steady plan was not at all feasible.
Instead, I had to follow a nooks and crannies plan – jamming patterns and practice and exercise and theory into any little space that I could pry open in my schedule.
A visual representation of me fitting practice into my life over the past few weeks. Image description: a GIF of the videos game Tetris in which blocks of various colours fall from the top and you have to move a mass of pre-existing blocks around to let the new ones drop into a space where they will fit.
I had to use persistence (which, when I can activate it, is one of my superpowers) to just keep plugging away at everything and trust that it would work out.
I did my written theory test last week and I did quite well. I’m proud of the fact that I was able to work out some of the correct answers by applying my knowledge, even when I didn’t *know* the answer for sure.
All the physical testing will be on Sunday and even though I haven’t been able to do things the way I meant to, I still feel good about it.
I wasn’t able to physically practice as much or as often as I had planned to, but I did extra mental/visualization practice whenever I had a chance.
During my physical practice, I alternated between focused practice on my most recent patterns and directing my energy towards sharpening some fundamental movements that will improve my technique overall.
Pretty much what my brain looked like whenever I started practicing. Image description: Frau Farbissina, a villain from the Austin Powers movies, a small woman in a suit with her hair in a business-like updo, is shouting ‘Fire the laser!’ while Dr. Evil, another villain, reacts.
And now I am down to just a few days of practice and I want to spend them wisely.
As I was planning my week, I was tempted to try to create an epic schedule of practice and exercise, but, luckily, a more sensible part of my brain prevailed.
Instead, I plan to do daily yoga, daily practice for my patterns and for other specific movements, and to do some specific stretches and rehab exercises for any persnickety body parts. I’m going to work smart, and work as hard as I need to, but I am not going to run the risk of exhausting myself before my test.
Normally, I go into belt tests reminding myself that ‘chance favours the prepared’ but right now that aphorism is drawing my attending to the gap between my intended preparations and my actual preparations. Focusing on that gap will NOT help so, instead, I have been reminding myself of another saying, ‘fortune favours the bold.’
On Sunday, I am going to show up bold.
In fact, I am determined to boldly go where I have never gone before – into the mental and physical space of being a 4th degree black belt.
Yep, just watch me! Image Description: A GIF of Boimler, a character from the animated series ‘Star Trek: Below Decks,’ saying ‘That’s boldly going.’
So, if you were thinking of wishing me luck for Sunday, please wish me boldness instead.
After all, that’s the best way to get fortune to favour me.
I’ve been preparing in a low key way for ages but being only 6-7 weeks out puts my test into a time frame that my brain will accept as ‘real.’
And that means that I can prioritize project Earn My 4th Degree Belt and focus more effectively on the things I need to do to prepare for my test.
Here’s what I am working on:
Fitness
Obviously, improving my fitness level is an ongoing project but with a little over six weeks before my test, I have a very clear short term goal to work toward.
Six weeks is a bit of magic time frame. It’s a short enough time that my brain will buy into pushing myself a little harder – after all, six weeks isn’t forever. And it’s a long enough time that I can actually make some small improvements in my fitness level.
Borrowing some of Michelle Tanner’s determination for my fitness plans. Image description: Michelle Tanner, the youngest sister from the 80s show Full House, is staring intently forward as she curls her arms down in a pretend bodybuilding pose. This is a joke about a teeny person imagining that she is muscle-bound, but she looks fierce.
I’m in good enough shape to pass my test now if I had to but after six weeks of TKD-focused exercise, it will be just a little easier. And since I want to improve anyway, my impending test gives me a bargaining chip to use if my brain starts chiming in with objections.
Theory
Part of my testing involves being able to complete written and verbal exams about different aspects of TKD, ranging from the technical specifications of movements to historical details of the sport.
I always find this tricky even though, in other contexts, I am perfectly ok with written or verbal tests. I think that having to connect the physical movements of TKD with the surrounding theory trips me up a little.
I have done ok with my theory in the past so it has never been a major crisis but it has made me nervous.
I think this time will be different though because the improvements in my medication, combined with some changes in my day-to-day obligations, has increased my capacity to structure my thinking around TKD.
And, having this capacity six weeks out means that I can also structure my study plan more effectively.
My plans are a little less complex than this but I like the spirit here. Image description: a person unrolls a set of ‘battle plans’ drawn in crayon.
Patterns
Improving my meds and changing my day-to-day obligations also means that the process of learning my new patterns has been more straightforward this time. I seem to be able to grasp the flow of things more easily and I am holding on to details with far less work than I have had to invest in the past.
This may not all be attributable to the changes mentioned above, it may also be related to the fact that I have been training for a long time and some key elements may finally be firmly in place. (Being a martial artist is a commitment to continual learning so I imagine that I will experience this same sort of feeling again, just on different level, as I progress.)
So, I had three new patterns to learn for this test. I am very confident in one, pretty confident in another, and building my confidence in the third. Six weeks is more than enough time to bring all three up to the same level of confidence.
Okay, not toooo many patterns but there are A LOT of things for me to learn and remember. Image description: three people standing side by side, there is a string of lights behind them. Text at the bottom reads ‘Way too many patterns for one person.’
Board Breaking
This is where I really want to do some extra work.
Even though board breaking is the most impressive-looking part of a belt test, it is really a tiny aspect of the process. And because there are a variety of elements involved, no one fails a test if they can’t break one of their boards.
BUT
It still bugs me when I can’t do it.
I struggled with my spinning hook kick break for years but I finally managed it on my last test. And I am not too worried about having to repeat the process with that kick and others for this test.
I don’t have a photo of my spinning hook kick but this is me during my last test, about to execute a flying side kick. Shoutout to Mr. James and Mr. Dyer for holding the board for me and to Ms. Zurel for the video I clipped this from. Image description: Me, in my dobok, in mid-air at the edge of a gym mat. Mr. Dyer and Mr. James are kneeling on the mat holding up a board for me to kick.
This time my personal marker of my skill will be to finally break a board with a punch.
I have used a variety of other hand techniques to break boards but I have never managed to break a board by punching.
There are a variety of reasons this could be happening. I know that one of them is that I don’t use enough speed but I may also be pulling my punch a little (I don’t think I am afraid of hurting my hand but perhaps I am, subconsciously.) And I may not be coordinating my movements effectively.
Luckily, I have lots of help to work on this and six weeks is enough time to figure out what’s going wrong and how to fix it.
Focus and Perseverance
Test preparation is not the only thing on my agenda for the next few weeks but I have lots of time and (mental) space to dedicate to the project.
I’m not sure how often I will check in about it because it’s hard for me to figure out which milestones will make sense to other people but you can be sure that I am going to be mentioning some details as I go along.
And I will definitely be asking for good wishes on my post right before my test.
