The Flu and My Friend’s Fitness Journey (Guest Post)

Last week I got unexpectedly hit with the flu. (Come to think of it, is it ever really expected?) Anyway, it knocked me out hard and I was upset by the rough start to my 2017. (Needless to say I haven’t worked out but proudly made it to a Yin yoga class which my post-flu body could barely handle.)

While I’m not one for New Year’s resolutions, I do appreciate a New Year’s reflection on my overall life trajectory. What have I accomplished? What haven’t I? Where would I like to see things going over the next year?

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New Year’s resolutions for me, like lots of people, tend to fall flat by Week 2. Sam wrote about December 1st as the new January 1st. I actually like the idea of getting a jump on a new year the months leading up to it.

In the fall, I was excited to recommit to my health and fitness. I’ve written here about how I am learning to see myself as an active person who is takes her wellbeing seriously. One of the people who inspired me to make the change in my own life also recommitted to her health and wellbeing exactly one year before I did (she in November 2015, and I in November 2016).

I thought that I would speak more formally with her about her experience, as there are things I recognize as similar about both of our stories: we both started out as relatively active children and young women but became discouraged and anxious about fitness as we got older. We both had multiple false starts over the years, and we both decided to integrate fitness and wellness in our lives around the same time.

 

Tracy: What does being “fit” mean to you?

Jaclyn: Being fit means loving, embracing and accepting my body for all the amazing things that I can do. This is not to say that now I love my body because it is leaner and has more muscle mass, and that I could not love my body before because I had a much higher body fat percentage. Getting stronger, lifting heavier, and getting my cardio up to a level I didn’t know was possible has led to an appreciation for myself and my body that I never had when I spent most of my days drinking, partying, and subsequently binge eating my hangover away the next day.

Tracy: Since you mention it, regarding your drinking/partying in the past, do you feel like you simply “replaced” those old habits with new ones or is it more complex? (Do you feel like a different person now than you were back then?)

Jaclyn: I think it’s more complex than that. I’m the same person, yet a different person. I think a part of the drinking was me trying to cover over parts of me that I didn’t like (or that I thought I needed to change to be liked). When I began my fitness journey, my new habits (nutrition, fitness, sleep, water intake, etc.) replaced old habits (binge drinking, binge eating, partying).  As my new habits began to slowly weed out and replace my old ones, there was a moment that I realized I was truly and genuinely happy. In that moment, I realized that this new lifestyle fuels me and allows me to be my most authentic and genuine self.

Tracy: That’s so wonderful and it’s been amazing to see your progress. What was your previous experience with fitness? Were you an active child?

Jaclyn: I grew up an active kid; I was on the swim and synchronized swimming teams, played soccer, and did ballet. My family loves to camp, so I’d frequently go canoeing, hiking, swimming and kayaking with them. But gym class was a nightmare for me. As a shy and introverted child, cliques in gym classes (which often involved choosing partners and teams) intimidated me. My intuition was to skip the classes to avoid this.

In undergrad, I joined a couple gyms but never stuck with them because I had no knowledge about what I should be doing, how to use the machines and free weights, or how to bring variety into my workouts and how to eat in accordance with my goals.

I would never even dream of asking someone to show me how to do something, and I was too afraid of being judged using free weighs since I had never used them before.  So, I would go over to the one machine I knew – the treadmill – walk for 40 minutes and leave as quickly as I could.  After a couple weeks, I would get bored of the same old routine and frustrated by the lack of any tangible kind of progress, I would quit the gym.  Looking back, my social anxiety, shyness and introversion were the biggest obstacles for getting into fitness.

Tracy: I think that can be quite common—sometimes people see “gym culture” as macho or unfriendly, especially for someone who is new to working out or not that knowledgeable when it comes to fitness. How did you find this and what strategies did you find helpful in overcoming that?

Jaclyn: As someone with little knowledge about fitness and exercise, and as an introvert with social anxiety, breaking into the gym and developing a consistent routine was a huge obstacle. This time, however, I didn’t want to run; I wanted to face this challenge and move myself into a space where I could walk into a gym and do my routine comfortably.

As I’ve grown with my anxiety, I have learned things that I can do to help reduce attacks.  For example, in a conference setting, the more research I have done on my topic, the more comfortable I felt.  So, this was my first strategy in wanting to become more comfortable at the gym, to gain knowledge.

I’m fortunate that I could afford a starter package with a personal trainer.  My thought process was that if I was willing to spend the money I previously did on booze, then I could certainly take that money and invest in myself and buy some training sessions.  I thought that if I had an expert take me through the gym, show me how to use the machines and show me some free weight exercises, I would feel more confident walking in and doing it on my own.

Further, I thought that if I could learn the basics of form, that when I went on my own I would be less likely to injure myself.  Another alternative to training packages is to take full advantage of the growing fitness industry via social media platforms (such as YouTube). I used this to watch how certain exercises are done, would mimic the motions in the privacy of my own house, and then try them at the gym. Utilizing the knowledge from the training sessions and from my research online helped me feel more confident in the gym.

Tracy: You’ve mentioned your social anxieties, which I think are common for many people, especially when it comes to trying new things. How has fitness allowed you to grow in this area, and allowed you to become less fearful of being judged, etc.?

Jaclyn: In addition to gaining the knowledge necessary to make me more comfortable at the gym, I made sure to go during quieter periods (i.e., not during peak times), especially at the beginning. I would also wear a baseball hat, which almost acted like blinders—it helped me feel more “in the zone” and focus more on myself and less on others around me.

Over time, I became more and more confident in myself and in my place at the gym. The better I became at lifting, the less I worried about being judged.  Moreover, the more I fell in love with lifting, the less I cared about being judged; in fact, I don’t worry at all about this because I know that weight lifting involves stalling on reps, or failing a certain move.  I know saw failure as opportunity to grow and learn – understood that this was part and parcel of the process itself – and so I no longer feared being judged.  This process of working on my anxieties in the gym was by no means a speedy one, but I can now happily say that about one year later, I do not need to wear a hat, and I can walk into any gym, at any time, and get to the grind with no fear and no anxieties.

I found that this newfound confidence in the gym spilled into other aspects of my life.  Looking back at where I started and where I am now made me realize how strong and resilient I am.  It helped me realize what I want out of life, and what I wasn’t willing to compromise.

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Tracy: What surprised you most about the new lifestyle that you wouldn’t have expected?

Jaclyn: I never expected to fall in love with fitness and weightlifting like I did, but perhaps more surprising was the humbling self-love and acceptance that arose naturally out of the process.  I have cellulite and big thighs, but this no longer bothers me like it used to.  Instead, I am amazed by how strong and resilient I have become since I started.  I have become humbled by fitness and developed a love for myself that was absent from the larger part of my life.

Jaclyn is an aspiring fitness blogger, living in London completing her PhD in philosophy of neuroscience at the University of Western Ontario.

This interview has been condensed and edited.

Speaking with Jaclyn over the last few months have helped to keep me both motivated and patient with myself. It’s especially helpful when I have my own hang-ups or things that slow me down—like the flu, or like fainting (which I wrote about in last month’s post). I’m grateful to have her as a friend and role model and thank her for letting me write about this so openly in this month’s post!

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Affirmational Art and Body Positivity: An interview with Jenn Seeley (Guest post)

One of our bloggers has recently opened an online store offering Affirmational Art on cute things. The offerings are a little different than what you may have seen before so Sam thought it would be cool to highlight the site on the blog. Here is my interview with Jenn Seeley.

So Jenn, this is quite the store you’ve put together. It’s filled with familiar objects that have slightly unusual messaging. What was the need you saw for these kinds of objects and art?
I guess some might consider it unusual – radical even – to want to be bothered with speaking positively to and of yourself. It’s a tricky area for many people. For starters, speaking and believing affirmations require a person to know what to say, know what they want to say, and believe they have the right to say it. That’s the kicker. The believing it part. I guess that’s where I saw the need. People give so much of themselves, pouring out all that they have, that it’s easy to forget to fuel up and remind ourselves of truths that get us through. Affirmations are simply a way to assert the right to make bold declarations of anything from intentions and desires to important reminders of our own worth and value. With so much direct messaging and marketing trying to tell us who to be, and define for us how to measure our worth, we have quite the battle to win in staking our claim over own own attitudes towards ourselves. Oh, and the funny objects? It’s just nice to have something to look at that’s not the stereotypical motivational misty forest and mirror top lake. I just chose things that I liked, and went with what felt ‘right’ for lack of a better description. Don’t worry though, I really like trees. I’ll probably have to include them somewhere just because.

Do you see yourself as filling this need or trying to create a desire to display these kinds of messages?

Do a Google image search for affirmations, or for a particular mantra you like to live by, and several people may have put those same words on images of some sort. I don’t expect my art to be everyone’s first choice or for everyone to get what I do and why, but in my own circle of super cool people, many of my friends and framily (that’s not a typo) share these declarations by way of Facebook posts of cute images with words, or via text messages as reminders in solidarity to friends dealing with something hard. I have to imagine that in the privacy of their own space and solitude, they also sometimes pull from memory the words that help ground them and hold them steady in tricky times. I know I do that, so surely others do too. What I’m doing with Sunny Braveheart isn’t unique entirely, but it is my heart and I hope that it is ultimately my heart that’s heard.

This is original art done by you, correct? What inspired these pieces?

Yeah. They’re my original images. And it’s still pretty mind-blowing for me to say that out loud, but I’m doing it! I can’t really put a finger on the actual inspiration for the current collection overall. There’s kind of a mix of a few things going on. By far my favourites are the uniquely shaped people. I like their general look and feel simply for the quiet calm they represent. At least, that’s how I see them and hope they are seen as calm for others, too. My intention was to create these ‘people’ in ways that they feel oddly familiar despite being unlike anything I’ve seen or drawn before. I paired quiet images with strong statements. It’s not always necessary to shout and punch to feel the feels!

Ultimately, I felt an urge to create and I wanted to create things that reminded me of things that I know are true for me. Things I try already to live and breathe, and things I love to see and hear shared.

Do you have a favourite?

You mean they’re not all my favourite? Ok. So if I have to pick just one? I have big feelings. That’s my cat Percy and the truest statement I can make about myself. I feel BIG when I feel and stopped apologizing for that a long time ago. I say this out loud a lot. That was a big hurdle jumped. If I was allowed to pick more than one, I would say that I Will Be Gentle With Myself and Sometimes Bravery Means Trying Again Tomorrow would tie for second!

These images are either body or emotion positive. Can you elaborate on the importance of emphasizing those two things in your affirmations?

Oh, this was and is super important. Thank you for noticing! There are all kinds of affirmations out there that speak to success – like careers & finances – and that isn’t the intention of Sunny Braveheart. Too often, (because: patriarchy) having emotions and feelings is considered weak and undesirable. Talking about feelings is hard! Especially if you fear ridicule or being misunderstood. And where to start on body positivity? Thanks to so many crummy social constructs that attempt to dictate what a ‘good body’ is and so few people (mainly women) who can’t begin to live up to standards that shouldn’t exist in the first place, people’s self-image and ideals take a brutal hit.

Think about this: so far, forever, we have been told all kinds of gross things about how our bodies must look. We have been told many conflicting messages about how to parent and how not to parent. We read thousands of words in fear every night on multiple web pages just trying to determine if we’re a good partner to our lovers. We are called weak for crying. We are put into boxes and labeled based on the colour of our skin and our spiritual practices. We are told from within the communities we belong to that even on the inside there are people who do-the-things-that-we-do better/faster/stronger/longer/smarter than we do.

Whether directly or indirectly, we get these messages at an alarming rate. Every. Single. Day.

What if instead of that I told you: You are enough. You are exactly enough. Your body is good. You are strong. Bravery doesn’t look the same for you and that’s okay – you’re still brave. Your feelings are valid, important, beautiful, and real. YOU are valid, important, beautiful, and real. Your body can tell you things that the internet can’t, so go ahead and listen to it. Give yourself permission to filter out the ideals of the world, and join a collective that wishes to change the narrative.

If I could flip the bird to patriarchy and the very oppressive standards that were created to keep me wanting to jump through hoops in order to be something that I’m not, I would. But I’m not alone in that desire, am I?

Do you hope to add art to the selection? How often? What themes or images might we look forward to?

Expect to see more ‘people’ and more animals for sure. And I’m working on a few ‘active’ themed images. But I’m going to be very clear about what those images will represent. You will still expect body positive and emotions/feeling positive words to accompany anything that appears athletic by design. Simply put: There will never be an ‘affirmation’ found at Sunny Braveheart that shames you, guilts you, pushes you to perform in ways that cross your boundaries, or anything at all similar to what’s her face – the woman whose name I won’t mention who wants to know what your excuse is while posing with her family. Nope. There will be no shame.

Why Sunny Braveheart? Where’d the name come from?

I guess the sunny part is harder to answer. Maybe because I get read as having a ‘sunny disposition’ all too often – especially among people who don’t know me well. My closest circle has the blessing of seeing my raw self – melt downs and all! Despite the range of feelings, I do see the sunny side of life when I can, all while giving myself permission to experience and navigate the less sunny moments. That’s important, too! I want all of the feelings with no apologies.

Braveheart comes from my personal journey involving lions, but you can read that here. Further to the brave bit, it was actually a really scary thing to just allow myself to create emotion driven art versus strive to be perfect. Yeah, I’ll say it. My art isn’t perfect. It’s art. And as much as it’s also scary to say this out loud? I’m the artist. It’s mine. So yeah. Bravery is a theme to my project because I know that, as a person who struggled her whole life to see herself as good enough in many areas, I’m displaying a giant piece of me and can definitely expect to be critiqued and/or mocked and/or ridiculed. Fun!

Bravery is also in the name for you. It’s a brave step forward to allow yourself permission to change the way you speak to yourself.
You can see for yourself what Jenn is up to at Sunny Braveheart. 

What kind of Big Feelings might you have? Let us know.

What’s Wrong with the “Feeling Fat” Emoticon?

Facebook emoticons, including "feeling fat," with a chubby face.You’ve probably read by now that Facebook has removed its “feeling fat” status update/emoticon from the list of options. Over 16,000 put pressure on the social media goliath by signing activist group Endangered Bodies’ petition.

This article quotes Catherine Weingarten, the author of the petition, as saying:
When Facebook users set their status to “feeling fat,” they are making fun of people who consider themselves to be overweight, which can include many people with eating disorders. That is not ok. Join me in asking Facebook to remove the “fat” emoji from their status options.
And when it decided to do the right thing, Facebook said:

“We’ve heard from our community that listing ‘feeling fat’ as an option for status updates could reinforce negative body image, particularly for people struggling with eating disorders,” Facebook (FB, Tech30) said in a statement.
But media is just about sound bytes (as I myself discovered in a TV interview that I’ll post below), and neither of these get to the full picture.

First of all, it’s not just about people with eating disorders and it’s not just about making fun of people. No doubt, Catherine Weingarten said a lot more than that. I’m almost certain of that because the Endangered Bodies offers a more nuanced set of reasons for what the problem is. The petition talks about fat-shaming, body hatred, and Facebook’s influence and reach as a significant social media platform:

Fat is a substance that every body has and needs. Fat is also an adjective – a descriptive word about a physical attribute. Just like tall, short, black or white, it should not be misused to shame oneself or others. However, the fashion, beauty and diet industries have an interest in making us feel insecure about our own bodies and over time “fat” has become a negative word, not a simple statement of size. There is nothing neutral about it. The stigma and criticism of fat and the elevation of thin make them stand-ins for other kinds of words, feelings and moods.

Endangered Bodies sees this fear of fat and idealisation of thinness throughout society as a form of weight stigma, which can have a serious impact on the millions of people dealing with negative body image. Body-shaming and weight stigma are associated with lower self-esteem and disordered eating, an issue that Facebook – being a social platform – needs to take seriously.

I myself blogged about “feeling fat” a long time ago, when the blog was just a month old. There, I talked about the difference between feeling fit and feeling fat. Most especially, we need to be aware that feeling fat has nothing to do with body weight. It has to do with the assumption that fat is bad. When we feel bad about ourselves, that self-loathing can express itself in feeling fat:
It’s a strange and complicated thing, feeling fat is.  It can settle in overnight, or even through the course of a day. Clothes that fit just fine when I put them on in the morning might by lunch time start to feel like they’re pinching and snug, especially if I had a bad morning.  Even the red silk scarf, not a body-hugging item, might not look right when just yesterday it accessorized perfectly. And a general feeling of unworthiness accompanies feeling fat. It’s astonishing and sad that internalized cultural stigma against weight and body type can feed so powerfully into these negative attitudes about oneself.

Remember, feeling fat is amazingly unconnected to actual body size and even percentage of fat. But it is also, for many women I know, the “go-to” feeling when they are unhappy with themselves about something…about anything.  This says a lot about the hold that our culture’s attitudes about weight and body size has on us. Even those of us who are explicitly and consciously attentive to the irrational and unfair social stigma, even working to challenge it, latch onto fatness (real or imagined) as a personal deficiency. It then spirals into an energy-sucking, self-defeating stick that might make a person feel motivated to get active (but for all the wrong reasons) or thoroughly hopeless about exercise because it doesn’t “work” (as if its only purpose is to lose or control one’s weight).

When we can use feeling fat to articulate low self-esteem, as a stick to beat ourselves with, then it’s not funny. It’s sad. One thing I believe is that when we feel fat it’s a good sign that something else is going on with us. And that’s probably not the time to invoke a glib emoticon that announces to the world: “I hate myself right now.”

The social meaning of feeling fat ensures that it’s not simply self-abusive. Not at all. A purely individualistic explanation of why it’s harmful to include it among “impatient, amused, better, discouraged” doesn’t capture the social harm. It’s fat-phobic and fat-shaming.  Even if lots of the people who feel fat don’t appear to others to be fat, they’ve internalized the message that fat is loathsome to such a degree that it’s what they latch onto when they want to express how much they despise themselves in that moment (because, and this is one thing it has in common with actual feelings, it can pass as quickly as it set in). That’s a pretty awful thing for people who others actually do think of as fat.

We live in a fat-phobic, fat-shaming world. In providing that emoticon, Facebook is perpetuating an oppressive social attitude.  The local news came to see me about this today. I said a lot of stuff that was more interesting than what they chose, but if you’re interested, here’s a link to the clip.  They will make you watch an ad first and for that I apologize.

And from the Endangered Bodies’ Fat Is Not a Feeling campaign:

With social influence, power, and reach comes social responsibility. It’s good to see that Facebook can respond appropriately at least some of the time even if they don’t have a very nuanced public presentation of their reasons.

It’s not, as the other person interviewed in my clip said, that they can’t afford not to be “politically correct.” Why do people always talk about “political correctness” as if there is something wrong with simply choosing a socially responsible course of action? That charge that mega-corporations are always having to bow to political correctness is a simplistic and dismissive response to genuine concern about real social harms.

And to those who think that in removing this choice FB has somehow done us a disservice, it’s not some God-given right that everything we experience needs to be expressible in a canned status with a matching emoticon. I’m glad they took it down and I will be happier still when we stop using “feeling fat” as a form of self-abuse and a socially acceptable way of body-shaming in a fat-phobic culture.

One woman’s journey to black belt: Karen and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (Guest Post)

Most of us who read this blog are used to moving around in male-dense environments. We know that just being a female in motion on land, sea or air often attracts attention, some of it unwelcome and discouraging.

For this post, I interviewed Karen, a 30-year-old black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ).

BJJ is a grappling sport, like wrestling. It involves a lot of close physical contact, mostly on the ground. I mean a LOT—I don’t know of other sports in which two people are in such close and prolonged contact, body parts all in a tangle.

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Karen trains and works at Clockwork BJJ in New York City, and she runs a regular women’s open mat there (their facebook page is here). I wanted to know what her experience was like: training in the high-intensity, often high-testosterone combat sport of BJJ, and also achieving a black belt in the sport. Here’s her perspective as a high-level sports practitioner.

How did you find your way to BJJ?

I grew up swimming—competitively from age 9. I played high school softball, too. Swimming is a team sport, but you swim by yourself; BJJ is like that, too. I started BJJ at age 20—it was something different for exercise, and I like the fighting and self defense.

Why BJJ?

I saw the movie Kill Bill and loved the female character—she’s sensitive but brutal, too. She does kung fu, and I wanted to do something like that. There was a good BJJ school in Atlanta where I lived, and it looked hard and challenging. I like that. I started competing 7 years ago. You get 6 months of progress in one day of competing—you learn a lot!

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What are workouts like at your gym?

I get there early to stretch and warm up. There’s a women’s locker room here, which is unusual. Usually women’s locker rooms are a closet. When I started 10 years ago I had to change in a unisex bathroom.

When I take a class, we learn two techniques. We spend 30 minutes learning and drilling, and then 45—60 minutes sparring with partners. We do 6—7 minutes of sparring, then switch. We do this 4—8 times with a few minutes between bouts. In the learning part, the teacher spends 15 minutes to show the technique, then you get 15 minutes with a partner and do it back and forth. We might do an escape and then an attack. You stay with one partner the whole time during the drill. You tend to stick with the same people. As a woman you find the handful of guys you feel most comfortable with. I’ll spar with any new or experienced woman, and I train with the same 5—10 guys.

What’s it like sparring with men vs. sparring with women?

Some men want to kill you when they spar—they don’t want to get beat by a woman—or they treat you like the most delicate thing they’ve ever encountered. I’ve found guys who were in the middle. For the first few years, I was defending myself all the time. As I got better and stronger, it leveled the playing field. They couldn’t go delicate. And I could go rough, and they couldn’t kill me because of my skills. As a black belt, there is nobody you can’t handle. It’s rewarding to have worked hard. And when you can go for the attack, it’s a good turning point.

Rolling with women is different— because we are such a minority, and are defending all the time, we get technical skills.  It’s a different side of BJJ—less use of strength, more balance of strength and technique. This is less so for men.

Low-level men go crazy, trying to win, and they don’t have to defend themselves as much because the strength disparities aren’t so big [between them and their sparring partners].

Rolling with male black belts is awesome and fun! They see you as equal, and they go as hard as you go, back and forth. Men tell me they don’t go easier on me. I don’t care—I do what I want to do.

Women aren’t as strong, but technique comes in; there are positions using my legs that I’m better at. In BJJ, being in your guard on your back is an offensive position. By the time you’re a purple belt, the fact that women are more technical comes out; you get good at a guard, or a position for attacking them.

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Have you experienced sexist treatment in BJJ?

At my old gym, I was sparring with a kid. I put him in a triangle and he tapped out [conceding defeat]. [In this position] his face is in your crotch.

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From across the gym another guy laughed out loud and said to everyone that this was the best moment of the kid’s life, so he would never want to tap out. I went over to him and said, “don’t ever say anything like that again.”  He got defensive, like I was overreacting. His response was we don’t need to talk to each other ever again.

That night my instructor called and asked what happened.  I told him. He said that was gross, and you don’t have to talk to him.  But, he never said anything to the class or to the guy.  Things like that happened on a regular basis.  I was always on my own.

At my current gym, [Sensei] Josh has created an atmosphere where that doesn’t happen.  People like that don’t last here. I get lots of support. Some 17-year-old kid was disrespectful to me once while rolling and I corrected him; I said, “don’t be that guy.” He later apologized.  It was a cool moment.

At my old gym, when I was sparring with one guy, I could feel him looking me in the eye. It’s not typical to make eye contact. He said, “you’re getting angry at me, aren’t you?” I said no. He said, “no, you’re very frustrated.”   I told him, “don’t talk while sparring.”  It felt disingenuous; he was maybe getting something else out of it.

Like it was foreplay?

Yes. But that doesn’t happen here [at Clockwork BJJ]. When I started publicizing the women-only open mat on Facebook, I got guys saying oh, that sounds fun—can I come?  But other guys would post, saying that was gross.  It was cool.

Does being a black belt affect how you feel as a woman out there in the world? Has your sense of self-confidence changed?

It makes me feel more in control of my experience walking down the street.  I don’t feel intimidated by anyone I see.  That’s maybe a bit naive but …

Have you ever had to fight anyone?

I was in a situation at a party; two girls picked a fight with me and I kicked their asses.  They were the aggressors but I didn’t want to hurt them.  But I had to—I broke someone’s nose. At one point, I mounted one of them, took a breath, and thought what should I do?  The fight was interesting— because I had experience with people being so close to me in BJJ competitions, I could see what she was doing.  I was not going wild but in fact was fighting.  Having the experience of someone in my personal space so much—with the adrenaline, fear, discomfort—I can feel sure of myself walking down the street.

How do you think we can make BJJ more open to women?

I want to open my own gym in the next year or so.  I can create an environment where misogyny isn’t tolerated.  Being a woman draws more women, and makes them more comfortable.  There are two women-run gyms in California. They’ve been doing BJJ a long time and won lots of championships.  One is women-only, and the other is coed.   I think BJJ is headed that way, but because so few women are high enough [in the sport], it is only happening now.

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