Today, I want to invite you to create some mental space by finding company for some of your tasks.
Note: This is often called body-doubling and many neurodivergent people find it helpful.
For you, having company for your task might look like asking a friend to run errands with you or to hang out while you do some housework.
It might look like asking someone to check in with you via text or in an online meeting as you both do work tasks. Or, if possible, you could meet in person to work simultaneously.
It might also look like trying an online body-doubling app or website – I haven’t tried these but many of my friends have and found them useful. If you search ‘body doubling online’ you can pick the one that matches your needs and your budget (many have free options!)
And it could look like working along with a video on YouTube. If you want to give that a whirl, search for ‘virtual body doubling’ and you’ll have a bunch of options.
I have also invited small groups of friends who all have an irritating task to finish to join me on Zoom for a specific period of time so we can work on our tasks together – with frequent breaks to chat.
Having company, even virtual company, tends to give my mind a break. It can help make the task feel more enjoyable, it reduces the feeling of tedium that some tasks induce, and it puts tasks into a time container that makes them feel more doable.
And all of that helps me to make more space in my brain and in the rest of my life – I hope it can do the same for you!
Wishing you ease and space, today and always.
Here’s today’s movement practice:
In the still image for this ’10 Minute Morning Stretch’ from Yoga With Nancy, the instructor is doing a deep squat on a white yoga mat with their hands in prayer position. They have their eyes closed and they look purposeful. They are wearing white clothing and the couch behind them and the curtain in the background are also different shades of white. Above them is text reading “Morning Stretch. Wake up & feel good.”
And here’s today’s mindfulness practice:
In the still image for this ‘Instant Calm’ video from Yoga with Adriene, Adriene is sitting cross-legged on a folded blanket on a yoga mat. She has her hands in prayer position, her eyes are closed and she is looking downward. She is wearing a green sleeveless shirt and pink loose pants with green cuffs. There is an end table with an candle and a vase of flowers on it behind on her left and a basket with a blanket in it behind on her right. There is a row of windows in the background and a sunbeam can be seen on the wooden floor behind her.The word calm is superimposed on the image and has been placed slightly behind her so part of the A and part of the L are obscured.
Today, I want to invite you to add something fun to your day or plan something fun for your week, and to prioritize it like it was a vital meeting with a key client. (’cause it is but just not in a business-y way.)
It doesn’t have to be something huge but it does have to involve something you enjoy.
For example, I really wanted to dry orange slices to add to some decorations so the first thing on my to-do list today was slicing oranges and putting them in the oven on low heat.
And, yeah, that was a task, really but it was an enjoyable process
I even followed the mindfulness recommendations of using all my senses in the process – noticing the smell of the oranges, enjoying the variations in the colour, noting the texture and taste differences. (Oranges don’t offer much of an listening experience but I paid attention all the same.)
I hardly ever remember to do all that kind of stuff when I have a task at hand but because I knew I wanted to mention it here, I really tuned in to what I was doing and, I can, indeed report that it felt good to pay attention in that moment.
Does this mean I will remember to pay attention like that more often? Probably not but hopefully I will remember every now and then.
I get that this still doesn’t necessarily sound like something fun but consider it like this: I had decided that I wanted to dry oranges for decorations (a result I will enjoy), I decided to prioritize the process of creating them (prioritizing something I wanted to do felt good), I followed my plan without getting stressed about it (which for someone with ADHD is a definite victory), I was successful in mindfully slicing the oranges and managed to create fairly even slices (a HUGE challenge!), and I will be very happy with the finished decorations.
So, it’s not the same as having tea with a friend or drawing or dancing but I have enjoyed the process so far and I will get to enjoy the process of making the decorations once the orange slices are ready. (They are drying in the oven even as I type this!)
So, that was a lot of words to explain something fairly simple but that’s how my brain works a lot of the time and I am just rolling with it.
Anyway!
I hope that you can create some space for fun in your very near future, no matter what that fun looks like. And you don’t have to answer to anyone about that fun, either. If you find it fun, it is fun!
No matter how you choose to create space for yourself, I wish you ease in the process.
Here is a suggested movement video for today:
In the still image for this 10-Minute Low-Impact Bodyweight Cardio video from PS Fit three people are standing in a peach-coloured room. They are all wearing grey leggings, sports bras, and white sneakers and are demonstrating the cross-body elbow to knee movement, bringing their left knees up to meet their right elbows. They are all smiling and appear to be enjoying their workout.
And here is a mindfulness practice for you to try:
Mindful Drawing Studio In the still image of this Mindful Drawing Draw Along video, there is large text reading “Grab a gift card and draw with me! With Stacey Peters” in black on the left and an image of a sketchbook with overlapping rectangles filled with spirals, and a marker on the right. Overlapping the sketchbook is a person’s right hand (with several gold rings on the fingers) holding a red card (that says Gift Card on it) between their index finger and thumb.
My morning got a little out of hand and I didn’t get this finished in time to post on my usual schedule.
I felt a bit stressed about that – and about the fact that I was drawing a bit of a blank on what to write here – when this important reminder popped into my head:
Done beats perfect every single time.
So, Team, here is my imperfect but complete post for today.
I hope that you can complete a few things imperfectly and get them out of your head and off of your to do list today.
Wishing you ease as you create a little more space for yourself in your own life.
Have fun out there!
Here’s today’s movement practice:
In the still photo for this 10-Minute Beginner Low-Impact Indoor Walk from Justin Agustin, the instructor is in their living room wearing a pair of grey sweatpants and a blue tanktop and walking on a mat. Their left knee is raised very high midstep. Their L-shaped couch is behind them and to their left and there are lots of windows in the background.
Here is today’s mindfulness practice:
In the still image for this 5 Minute Mindful Boost: A Coffee Break and Guided Meditation from Headspace, there is a cartoon image of someone’s fingers wrapped around a white take-out coffee cup. The cup is smiling and its eyes are closed. The background of the image is dark green and there is one gold sort-of-diamond-shaped twinkle in the upper middle of the screen. White text reading ‘5 minute Mindful Coffee Break’ and ‘headspace’ are on the left side of the image.
Sometimes, especially when I am busy, I forget to simplify.
I’ll end up following an old plan, doing something in a complicated way, or making a task much bigger than it needs to be, just because it doesn’t feel like I have time to think it through and/or make new decisions about it.
This can result in me doing a lot of unnecessary work or being needlessly stressed and it definitely reduces the possibilities for enjoying the process.
So, for a while now, when things feel complicated, I have been going back to one quick reminder:
Do the easy thing!
And, sure, that could be interpreted in multiple ways but in this case it means to find the easiest way to accomplish what I am setting out to do and only add extra things if I know I will have time and energy.
So, for example, if I was hosting a dinner for a group of people, I might initially have the idea that I was going to cook a bunch of stuff.
But if that starts to feel too stressful, I would look for the easiest way to accomplish my task (which, in this case is finding a way to enjoy hanging out and feeding with those people – it’s not usually about the specific food.)
That might mean ordering a meal, or buying some precooked items at the grocery store, or making pancakes, or switching to a dessert party, or any other solution that reduces stress and scales the task to a manageable level.
And if I decide that I am making pancakes and then have the time/energy/inclination to make side dishes or dessert, it’s a bonus, not a commitment or an obligation.
So, Team, today I’m inviting you to consider what ‘Do the easy thing!’ might look like for you.
Is there something coming up – a task, a commitment, and event- that you could pare down to a simpler version?
Are you putting pressure on yourself to do something perfectly that you could challenge yourself to make as easy as possible instead?
And, yes, I know that you may get pushback from people who are counting on you to overexert yourself so they can enjoy something stress-free but they can just shut-up. Decide on a response in advance (“This is what I can do this year.” “I know you prefer it the other way but this is how I have to proceed this year.” “If you would like something different, feel free to take this on yourself.”) and stick with it. Try not to make excuses or waffle about it, that gives people the idea that you will give in if they push – just state it as plainly as possible and forge ahead.
You deserve to enjoy your December and to minimize your stress.
You deserve to have more space in your own life.
You deserve kindness, care, and consideration, just the same as everyone else.
And I wish you ease in the process of finding it.
In the spirit of doing the easy thing, here are our practices for today:
My favourite warm-up routine! It’s not fancy but it is pretty easy and I feel great when I’m done.
A five minute warm-up video from Fitness Blender. The still image shows a person with long light brown hair in exercise clothes standing in a white room. They are in the middle of one of the warmup exercises so they are standing on their right foot with the lower part of their left leg lifted up behind them.
And here’s an easy, short, visual mindfulness practice from SunFlow. It’s a YouTube Short so it can’t be embedded but it’s worth following the link and watching on repeat.
The image shows a pink ball moving back and forth through an open-ended spiral against a green background while directions to breathe in or out appear near the spiral. If you are just listening, there is a breath sound to follow – they begin by breathing out.
Today, I’m inviting you to take an extra moment to give yourself something you need.
Perhaps that’s a little extra movement or a few more minutes rest.
Maybe you need some time away from your email or a little time to chat with a friend.
You may need a warm cup of tea, a blanket, or some paper to make a list.
I’m sure we all have a lot of needs that are much bigger than any of those things (and I hope you can meet those needs, too!) but we definitely all have relatively small needs like this that we tend to delay meeting because they aren’t part of the big plan or because they feel a little inconvenient.
But imagine how much better the rest of your day would feel if you made space to meet one of those needs?
Personally, I am going to meet two of my current needs – putting slippers on my chilly feet and making a cup of tea – as soon as I finish typing this.
Whether you are meeting one of those small needs, following this yoga practice, giving progressive muscle relaxation a try, or doing something else entirely, I hope you can make a little extra space for yourself today.
And, as always, I wish you ease and kindness.
Here’s our movement practice for today:
In the still image for this 10 Min Neck & Shoulders Stretch from Yoga with Kassandra, the instructor is pictured on the right hand side. They are wearing a white tank top and blue leggings and sitting crossed legged with their left arm behind their back while stretching the left side of their neck by tilting their head to the right. Their eyes are closed and they look peaceful. There are a lot of windows in the background and snow on the ground outside.
And here’s our mindfulness practice for today:
In the still image for this 6 Minute Progressive Muscle Relaxation Guided Meditation from Beam Therapy & Training there is a circle on the left side that encloses a photo of a person with long hair, wearing a green sweater and blue jeans sitting crossed-legged with their eyes closed and their face turned upwards. Text listing the name of the video and the url http://www.beamtraining.co.uk is on the right side. The background is dark green and there are polka dots and other green shapes along the bottom edge.
I usually write these posts just a little while before I post them because I really like to comment on whatever arises for me at that point in the day.
However, I am writing this at 11pm on Wednesday night because I will be leading a storytelling workshop just as this is about to go live and I won’t be ale to write in the morning.
So, in the spirit of ‘whatever arises for me at that point in the day’, here’s what feels like a useful idea the night before you read this:
Right now, I’m feeling pretty proud of my ADHD self for this little bit of slightly advanced planning. I’m really glad that my future-self isn’t going to have to stress about fitting this writing into my morning schedule.
So, with that in mind, I invite you to consider something that you have coming up later today, tomorrow, or in a few days.
Is there something today you can do to help future you have an easier time?
Is there a plan you can put in place? A task you can do? A list you can make?
Is there something you often forget that you can do early? Is there something you can prepare or buy?
Please don’t add to today’s stress while trying to do these things but if there is something that feels easy right now and that will help you in the future, it might just be worth doing.
Wishing you ease today, and always.
Go Team Us!
Our movement practice for today:
In the still image for this 10 minute Beginner Yoga for Hips and Shoulders from Yoga with Joelle, the still image shows the instructor lying on their back on a yoga mat in front of a couch. They have the bottoms of their feet together so their knees are stuck out and their arms are extended along the floor overhead. They are wearing flower patterned capri leggings and a dark tank top and they look relaxed.
And here’s our mindfulness practice for today. I know this isn’t our usual type of thing but the idea of listening to music and the waves sounded very mindful and relaxing so let’s give it a whirl.
The still image for this video 5 Minute Timer – Relaxing Music with Ocean Waves from Tick Tock Countdown Timer shows a glass ball in the foreground that is reflexing the beach, ocean waves, and sunset that is in the background. Large white numbers are counting down in the centre of the image.Image description: a small drawing of the number 11 on half an index card resting on my black computer keyboard. The numbers are pink with blue trim, there are blue polka dots in the background and the image is framed with four blue lines that meet in larger blue dots in each corner.
As I move towards the end of the year, I need to (almost constantly!) remind myself that I can do most things a little bit at a time.
Thanks to ADHD, my subconscious default is to put things aside – even huge projects – until I have time to finish them all at once. *
Despite the obvious flaws in that approach, if I’m not careful, I can go for ages not working on something because my brain has essentially put it on shelf for later when I have ‘the right kind of time’ to address it.
Even if you don’t get trapped in that kind of ADHD subconscious loop, I am sure that you have projects or tasks that you are trying to find time to work on all at once.
Perhaps it is an end-of-year project for work, maybe it’s cleaning the fridge, or making some phone calls, either way, if you have been consciously or subconsciously parking a task with lots of subtasks within it, this is your official permission to work on it in little bits over time.
It might take you a week to clean the fridge or get that website updated but it is better than having it haunt you from your to do list and never actually getting around to it.
For the record, cleaning my fridge is one of those tasks for me – I am pretty sure there is a jar rebellion underway on the back of the top shelf – and, today, I am going to spend 10 minutes cleaning one part. (This is where you can imagine me saying, in a goofy tone, I am SUCH a good example!)
Approaching things in this way will make some space in a lot of different ways – space in my schedule (since I don’t need a big block of time), space in my head (because the task will have some traction), and literal space in my fridge.
Not bad, hey?
So, whether you are picking a task to do bit by bit, you are planning to do one of the videos below, or you are going to do something else to make a bit of space for yourself, I wish you ease and self-kindness.
Good luck out there!
Here’s our movement video for today:
In the still image from this 10 Minute Muscle Toning Wheelchair Workout from Empowered Para the instructor is featured on the left hand side and the title of the video is on the right. The instructor, who has long brown hair, is sitting in their wheelchair and they are wearing green pants and a black sleeveless shirt. They are smiling and pointing towards the camera and a speech balloon above them says ‘Hey you! Come workout!’
And here’s our meditation:
In the still image for this 5 Minute Meditation for Focus from Great Meditation, the still image shows a pink cartoon brain sitting with its thin black line legs crossed and its thin black line arms at what would be shoulder height on a person. Its eyes are closed and it has a small smile. The background of the image is purplish blue and there are white lines extending outward from the area around the brain – maybe concentration or focus energy? The name of the video is in black text partially above and partially below the brain.
*Longer ADHD explanation:
To be clear, ‘all at once’ doesn’t necessarily mean on one day. My brain acknowledges that some things take longer than that so it seeks a stretch of time – a few days, a week, a month- in which I will be able to work on something repeatedly until it is done. Those stretches of time rarely appear, of course, because life doesn’t work like that. Yet, rather than bringing the project to my mental surface for reconsideration, my brain will just put the project on pause until it can find the right kind of time. I have to put in A LOT of effort to interrupt that default routine.
As you can imagine, this leads to a lot of self-frustration because some larger projects get parked without me realizing it has happened. This parking of projects thing isn’t a conscious decision, it happens on some other level and I have to check in with myself over and over to figure out why some projects have stalled.
When time is tight, like it can be this time of year, my brain tends to want to store any multi-part project away and I run the risk of it becoming late for me to do some important things.
There’s a lot more I could say about this but I just wanted to give this much explanation for now in case it is helpful for someone else!
How are you doing with the whole making space thing?
Have you been able to be a little kinder to yourself amidst the December chaos?
Have you been able to find a little space to do things that reduce your stress, help you have fun, or just give you a little wiggle room?
If you have, that’s terrific! Forge ahead!
If you haven’t been able to do any of that yet, please don’t be hard on yourself about it. This time of year is stacked with tasks and it can be difficult to navigate your way through them without getting stuck.
Sometimes, we all have to just roll along with things for a few days (or longer!) because trying to figure out how to create some breathing room just ends up feeling like more work.
BUT, with that said, if you are finding yourself feeling particularly squeezed and you really want to take a bit of time and space for yourself, I have two ideas for you:
1)Pick a time of day when your work ends
Ok, so to be clear, this is easier said than done but once you wrap your mind around the idea, it can be very helpful.
Now, I am not just talking about your paid work here, I’m talking about all of it – any task that doesn’t involve relaxation and rest.
In this plan, you would decide on a few things that feel restful and declare to yourself that at a certain time in the day you will stop anything that feels like work and switch to things that feel restful. (I find this a much better approach than trying to ‘finish’ items on a list – finishing always takes longer than I think it will.)
I usually find it easier to pick a later time in the evening at first. Something like, “After 9:30pm, I will only do yoga, drawing, or watch something specific on TV with Steve.” Then I set an alarm (yep, ADHD never takes a break!) for 9:30 and make the switch from worker bee to rester bee.
Once I am used to the switch, I will often move the time earlier in the evening.
2) Schedule the space you want to make
This is quite similar to the first suggestion but it’s less on/off.
Basically, when I need that downtime but it won’t naturally occur (it hardly ever does!), I schedule a time to do something fun or restful.
So I might pause my work at 10am to do yoga or I might plan to walk the dog at 2pm or I might arrange for a chat with my sister at noon.
Sometimes I feel a bit foolish that I have to do this instead of being able to just be spontaneous with my rest and fun but I do it anyway.
So, Team, whether you are able to take advantage of a resting moment when it arises or you have to plan how to add make space for yourself, I wish you luck and ease.
And, as always, please be kind to yourself as you make your way along.
For our movement practice for today, here’s a video from Yoga with Adriene that I found quite fun. 🙂 (Don’t take the still image too seriously!)
In the still image of this “Stress Buster | 10-Minute Yoga for Instant Stress Relief” from Yoga with Adriene, Adriene is standing on a grey yoga mat in front of a bunch of windows and Benji (her dog) is sleeping on a mat on the floor behind her. She is wearing an 80s aerobics instructor style outfit – hot pink legwarmers and sweatband, black tights and leotard with a pink wide-necked cropped sweater over it. She is also in a classic 80s aerobics photo pose – standing with her hands on her hips and with one one leg raised slightly so her toe (instead of the bottom of her foot) is touching the mat.
And here’s our mindfulness practice for today:
In the still image for this video “Breathing Exercises & Pranayamas | 5 mins Daily Practice to Boost Immunity” from Yogalates with Rashmi the instructor is sitting on a blue yoga mat with their legs crossed and their hands resting on their knees, palms up, with each of their thumbs touching their index finger on the same hand (making a little circle.) The instructor is wearing a pink tshirt and blue-patterned capri leggings, they are smiling and look relaxed. Text referencing the video title is in the upper left part of the image.
I hope that today finds you with at least a little time to yourself, even if it is just taking a little extra time with your cup of tea, a little longer in the shower, or going a little slower when doing some routine tasks.
I know I am not alone in this but I hate, hate, hate to feel rushed so when I am feeling hurried, I always try to figure out small ways to reduce that feeling of pressure. Sometimes, taking my time at the grocery store or choosing a slower way to do something helps my brain to recalibrate and see the difference between feeling rushed and any actual urgency.
I know that isn’t the same as actual rest or actually changing my to do list but when I am in the thick of things, I may not have the time or brain space to do either of those.
And I also know that some of you may not have the freedom or capacity to change the order or nature of your task but I hope that you can be kind to yourself about the facts of your day, that you can eke out a few minutes rest, and that you can recognize that feeling rushed at a busy time is not a personal flaw. You are doing what you can with the resources you have and that’s all anyone can do.
Whether you are rushing, relaxing, or doing something in between today, I wish you ease in your mind and in your body.
May you have a little more space when you need it.
Here’s today’s movement practice:
This video from Yes2Next is called “Easy 5 min Wall Pilates Workout (No Weights): For Ages 60+ and Beginners” and the still image shows the two happy-looking participants in a very light squat with their arms slightly extended behind them. Their photos superimposed over a purple wall and they are standing on a wooden floor. The participants are a mother/daughter pair and the Mom, an elderly woman with short grey hair, is closest to the camera and is wearing a black track suit. The daughter, who is middle aged, is in black leggings and dark peach t-shirt.
And here’s today’s mindfulness practice:
The still image for this Headspace video “Grounding Exercise for Racing Minds” shows a cartoonish yellow circle with googly eyes looking upwards and the the left. There is a white circle and a dark orange circle layered around the yellow circle character and the background of the image is a warm orange. The video title is on the upper left with the first few words in white and the last two in yellow.
I hope you have managed to plan, schedule, or squeeze a bit of extra space into this first week of December and I hope that a little extra fun made its way into your days as well.
Today, I’d like to remind you that there are lots of different ways to relax and have fun.
If you love getting dressed up and going to parties, that’s a great way to spend your time.
If you love watching movies at home in your pajamas, that’s also a great way to spend your time.
Please don’t feel pressured to do all of the social things and please make sure to respect your own needs, limits, and capacity when choosing how to spend your time.
Sure, we all can get a bit overscheduled this time of year – it can kind of go with the territory – but we probably have at least a little leeway in the what and the how and the when of participating in social events.
Speaking of choices, when you are making a little space for yourself today, feel free to choose these videos or to choose something else that serves you well.
Wishing you ease and fun, as always!
Here’s our movement practice for today:
The still image for this “10-Minute Vacation-Vibes Soca Workout” from PS Fit features three energetic and happy looking people in black workout clothes in the centre of the image. They are all slightly turned to the right and they have their arms slightly raised so their hands are in front of their right hips, palms down. The background is bright pink.
And here’s our mindfulness practice for today:
The still image for Michigan Medicine‘s “Mindfulness Breathing and Directed Doodling” video shows a person’s hands holding a green Sharpie marking and making lines in a figure 8 on a white sheet of paper that is resting on a wooden table. There are already blue lines in the same pattern on the paper.
