Category: health

fitness · health · racing · running · self care · training

You Can Run, But You Can’t Hide

Sam B



By Alison Conway

A weary Alison crosses the finish line of the 2024 NYC Marathon

You can run, but you can’t hide—at least, not forever. Those demons that are chasing you? They will catch you eventually. One morning, injured or simply exhausted, you will wake up to find them sitting on your chest. Or, in the middle of a race, you may feel them jumping on your back, happy to catch a ride.

I’m talking, of course, about the demons of anxiety and depression or whatever other monsters might lurk in the deep recesses of your mind. Last week, Alex Hutchinson wrote a column in the Globe and Mail in which he reviewed findings about the links between exercise and mental wellness (12/2/24). It’s not news to those of us who feel lousy when we miss a run that a regular boost of dopamine is a good idea. But what happens when we look at the issue through the other end of the telescope? That is, what happens when we play the tape–that sport is therapy–to the end?


Jill Colangelo answers this question in a recent episode of Running Explained (Season 2, Episode 40). In her discussion of overtraining syndrome, she looks at the relationship that endurance athletes develop with their training programs and how increases in training volume correlate with higher, rather than lower, rates of mental illness. Is it cause or effect? Someone who is looking to cope with troubling thoughts may seek the solace of the runner’s high, or she may start to experience dread or anxiety about performance. Warning signs will begin to manifest in the body, and without an acceptance that sport is hurting, rather than helping, and that a recovery program, including therapy, may be in order, the athlete can find herself confronted with a full-blown breakdown. In this scenario, cortisol, not dopamine, is the drug coursing through the body.


Colangelo advocates for a deepened respect for the body and the signals it sends. Recently, I learned this lesson the hard way when I found myself in trouble 17 km into a marathon—not even half way! In the weeks leading up to the race, there were red flags. I had a summer injury that meant my build began a month late. I didn’t have enough long runs under my belt and not nearly enough hills for the gruelling course. More significantly, I had been dealing with stress all fall and it had given my body a beating. Sleepless nights made for lousy morning runs. My physio suggested that a weekend of back spasms was stress induced. The week of the marathon, I had stabbing chest pain. It wasn’t on my left side, so I assumed I wasn’t having a heart attack. But I was having a something. (It felt like a cracked rib. Later, when I told this to my doctor, he said, “Please, don’t run a marathon with chest pain without medical clearance!” I record his remark here as a PSA.)


November 3rd dawned bright, sunny, and cool. It was a perfect day for a marathon. The pain in my chest was there, but isolated to one spot. And so, I set out to race that course. What was I thinking? I was thinking, “The marathon is my happy place!” I was thinking, “My spring training will compensate for my crappy build!” I was thinking, “That half marathon six weeks ago felt great!” The marathon answered, “I take no prisoners.”

And so, I suffered. All the voices in my head formed a chorus of negative self-talk to make the final hour of that marathon perhaps the most hellish sixty minutes I’ve experienced as a runner. Somehow, I got myself to the finish line. When I finally found my people, I burst into tears of rage, pain, and disappointment.

And now? Now, I’ve had a chance to get over myself and remember that plenty of folks find themselves having a crap marathon for any number of reasons. I have also learned that when the body tells me it’s struggling, as I train, I had better listen closely and adjust my expectations.

Most immediately, it’s time to turn and face those demons.

Alison Conway lives and works in Kelowna, British Columbia, on the traditional and unceded territory of the Syilx Okanagan people.

health

Hip Physio

Diane Harper

Way back when I started seeing a physiotherapist, my biggest complaint was my knees. However, my shoulder that became a frozen shoulder and torn rotator cuff trumped the knee issues. But now that the shoulder is in good shape and I know how to keep it that way, we are finally returning to my knees.

Step one: assessment that confirms the crunching and grinding I hear when I bend is not normal. To do: book an appointment with my doctor to see about getting a proper assessment for arthritis.

Step two: test the muscles surrounding my knees to figure out what else is going on. The constant quad and IT band pain are also not normal, and they are impeding my ability to stand up unassisted, or even use the stairs comfortably.

Diagnosis so far? Quads that are massively overcompensating for my underperforming glutes. So tight, in fact, that my quads are pulling my kneecaps up and out of alignment. they are probably a significant factor in causing my bunions, too.

My immediate future looks like a lot of clamshells using a band, leg lifts slightly to the back to engage and strengthen my glute and hamstring muscles.

Not like this! Four images of Jane Fonda doing various leg lifts in the early 1970s, complete with skimpy body suit and leg warmers.

There will also sessions with a rolling pin, and just hanging around with my leg elevated behind me to stretch out those quads.

So far, my lifts are very tiny. Sometimes it feels like I am only thinking about lifting the leg, not moving at all. But my butt has definitely been engaged!

What do I hope to achieve? Deeper pliés in dance class, a decent flutter kick when swimming, and knees and feet that don’t hurt every time I move. Honestly, I would settle for the last two.

health · holiday fitness · meditation · mindfulness · yoga

Making Space 2024: December 1

Christine Hennebury

Hey Team,

It’s December 1st and we’re back with the another edition of Making Space, a series of (mostly) short posts designed to encourage you to make a little space for yourself this month.

No matter what you celebrate (or don’t celebrate!), December is one of those months of ambient stress and busy-ness. There are so many posts and articles full of lists and ideas about how to do more, more, more, and so much discussion of finishing things before the end of the year, or getting ‘the most’ out of the rest of 2024, that it is enough to make your head spin.

Now, I am NOT pretending that you aren’t busy.

And I am not going to be doing any vaguely condescending posts about how if you *just* change your attitude then all the hecticness will just melt away.

Instead, I am going to acknowledge that we all have a lot going on at this point in the year AND I am going to invite you to make a little space for yourself in your days.

Each day, I will post a short exercise/physical activity video and a short meditation/mindfulness video that you can do if you WANT to.

If the videos I post don’t appeal to you, I hope that you will still create some space for yourself and pick something *YOU* like to do.

(Taking a nap, texting a friend, drinking a very slow cup of tea, lying on the floor staring at the ceiling – those all count as making space.)

Giving yourself that space is worthwhile and important, even if you have to ditch something else from your to do list.

So, with all of that said, let’s start on the right foot (ha!) with this short video ‘Foot Stretch for Healthy Feet‘ from Yoga with Bird.

A YouTube video of foot yoga – the still image shows a woman sitting on a yoga mat with her legs crossed and she is massaging her left foot with both hands.

And here’s 1 minute of drawing meditation/mindfulness from Tamara Michael. If you don’t have a pen and paper handy, you could draw with your finger or just breath in and out along with her drawing.

A YouTube video of a drawing meditation that shows a person’s hands drawing lines and dots on a white coil-bound sketchpad. They draw a squiggly line downward for breathing in and a series of dots next to that line for breathing out.

I hope you are able to make the space you need in your day.

Wishing you ease today and always. 💚

Women using resistance bands in a class. BY Geert Pieters for Unsplash. Research roundup: high-Intensity Interval Training
fitness · health · research

Research roundup: high-Intensity Interval Training

catherine w1 Comment

CW: mention of body size, appetite and weight loss in studies

Two recent studies have come out touting the benefits of HIIT, or high-intensity interval training, for women. One of them sounds great to me. The other, well, I’m not so sure about.

The first study– a nine-month community-based exercise program for lower-income older women in Brazil— showed several benefits to cardiovascular health for the participants. Here’s how it worked, according to this article from Agencia FAPESP:

The volunteers performed the exercise programs twice a week for nine months at four neighborhood community centers run by an NGO. Clinical status, anthropometric [waist circumference] measurements and specific health parameters (cardiovascular, functional, mobility etc.) were assessed before the first session (baseline), at the end of the nine-month intervention, and three months after that. 

HIIT combined with RT [resistance training] and moderate-intensity aerobic training combined with RT were equally efficacious in terms of reducing waist circumference (by 3.3 cm on average). This benefit persisted after the end of the training period. However, only HIIT combined with RT effectively lowered systolic blood pressure (7.9 mmHg) and reduced arterial stiffness (0.69 m/s), which remained so three months after the end of the training period. 

So, the big differences between HIIT and moderate-intensity training were the reduced blood pressure and arterial stiffness that they saw in the experimental group, both of them factors for lowered risk of cardiovascular disease.

But, is going hard okay for older people? Yes, say the researchers.

Previous studies by his group showed that HIIT has no risks for people with high blood pressure, obesity or diabetes, or indeed for clinical populations in general. “The protocol requires a prior assessment to confirm the absence of contraindications, such as a high risk of heart attack, for example. Generally speaking, it’s very safe,” Ciolac stressed.

Great!

Now to the second study, which measured the effects of HIIT (vs. moderate exercise and a control) on levels of ghrelin, a hormone that affects hunger. Eight males (average age 43) and six females (average age 32) underwent bouts of HIIT and moderate exercise after fasting overnight. Details below:

“We found that high-intensity exercise suppressed ghrelin levels more than moderate-intensity exercise,” explained lead author Kara Anderson, Ph.D., from the University of Virginia and the University of Virginia Health System in Charlottesville, Virginia. “In addition, we found that individuals felt ‘less hungry’ after high-intensity exercise compared to moderate-intensity exercise.”

Female [participants] had higher levels of total ghrelin at baseline compared with males, the study noted. However, only females demonstrated “significantly reduced AG”[a form of ghrelin] following the intense exercise, according to the findings.

What’s the upshot of those results? Well, here’s what one of the researchers says:

“Exercise should be thought of as a ‘drug,’ where the ‘dose’ should be customized based on an individual’s personal goals,” Anderson said. “Our research suggests that high-intensity exercise may be important for appetite suppression, which can be particularly useful as part of a weight loss program.”

Hmmm. I’m not so sure about that. Here are some reasons why:

  • The study was teeny-weeny: 14 people in total
  • The study measured hunger but not how much subjects actually ate after workouts (they didn’t provide meals either before or after exercising)
  • The BMI of the participants was similar (avg 22), but not necessarily the fitness levels, which could explain some differential effects
  • The study didn’t track weight over time– it wasn’t designed to– so we don’t know if their results would translate into weight loss
  • Why are we worrying about weight loss effects with HIIT? Isn’t it good enough that HIIT may be great for us in lots of other ways? Hmmmphf.

In case I was unclear above, here’s the thing: HIIT seems like a good option for exercise for lots of people in terms of cardiovascular benefits. Lots of studies are finding benefits for different age, body weight, and other demographic groups. Yay!

]And while it may be interesting and, in some contexts, useful to note the short-term hunger-suppressing patterns of HIIT on particular groups, that is not a reason to say it is a “drug” whose “dosage” can be used for weight-loss. In part because we know that exercise (of all types) provides loads and loads of benefits– physical, psychological, social, etc.- but doesn’t affect weight loss very much. Fine with me.

So, go big, go small, go around the block (with friends, dogs, kids, groceries), and rest sometimes, too. It’s all good for us.

Some women walking together– I can’t tell how fast they are going because it’s a picture. But it looks very nice.

A string of lights on the rail of the front steps to a house Stubbornly Seeking Light
ADHD · dogs · fitness · health · holidays · season transitions · Seasonal sadness · self care

Stubbornly Seeking Light

Christine Hennebury1 Comment

I’ve noticed that a lot more people in my neighbourhood have their holiday lights up early this year and it made me think of that saying – ‘If you can’t make your own serotonin, store bought is fine.‘

Usually I like to wait until December to put my lights up because I like that month to feel extra special but after a full month of rainy days, I need all the light I can get.

An early evening photo of a string of colourful lights on the railing of my (very damp) patio. There are leafless trees, a fence, and a streetlight in the background.

And today I realized that I’ve actually been choosing the (literally) brighter option whenever I can for the last few weeks. (Subconscious self care! I can’t believe my ADHD let me away with that.)

I picked a new desk lamp that gives me a wide swath of light for my desk on gloomy days (ugh) and at night.

A photo of my white desk with my lamp on. The lamp rises from behind my monitor and extends out on both sides casting bright light on my books, my art supplies, and the sewing project I’m working on at the moment.

I chose a new light-up leash for Khalee because the old yellow one didn’t light up anymore. It’s cheery AND it’s useful for walking in the early evening.

A photo of Khalee, my dog, doing a sniff-investigation on some grass on an early evening walk. Her blue light up leash is in the foreground and there is a streetlight nearby. There’s also a 40 speed limit sign but don’t worry we weren’t walking that fast.

And, in general, I have been making sure not to spend any extra time in the dark. There’s no need for me to be sitting in a dimly-lit room unless I choose to.

I know there are a lot of things I need to do to reduce my chances of being fully captured by seasonal depression* but I feel like finding more light – literally and metaphorically – is a good foundation.

Days that include more exercise, good quality sleep, hanging out with friends, and doing activities I enjoy can all be built on top of seeking light and that’s what I intend to do.

How are you dealing with the darker days lately?

Any fun ideas?

*I always struggle a bit but last year was especially bad and I am determined to help myself every single way I can this year.

health

Halloween Horror for Health

Diane Harper1 Comment

As you read this, my Peglyte is chilling in the fridge, waiting for me to start the cleansing preparations for tomorrow’s colonoscopy.

The process is horrible. The liquid I need to drink tastes terrible and I need to take anti-nausea medication just to get most of it down.

The devil welcomes two people to hell, where their eternal punishment is colonoscopy prep. Source: cartoonstock.com

I will be thoroughly grumpy because I can’t eat all day so will go to dance class hungry. I’ll start drinking the liquid immediately after class. The big trick will be whether I can hand out treats to the kiddies.

I will not regret doing this no matter how unpleasant. Colon cancer is a horrible disease. Women are almost as likely to get it as men, though you would never know that by looking at internet images; almost all of them show men. And the risk increases with age, so do start doing the FIT test if you haven’t already, and follow up on your results..

Better colon health for everyone!

habits · health · self care

Optimistic October? I’m All In!

Christine Hennebury

For all the challenges that my ADHD throws my way, there are some benefits that come from having this particular brain-wiring. 

For example, I enjoy making good use of my contextual thinking, I like the creative sparks and ideas that fly off in all directions, I’m happy with the string of connections that bring me to unusual solutions and, best of all, I like that my loose sense of time contributes to my hearty dose of optimism. 

That loose sense of time can present some difficulties – I take on too much, I can’t always tell how long things will take, and I can lose track of how long it has been since I last worked on a given project. 

BUT

That same flexible sense of time often means that, for me at least, it feels like there are a lot of possibilities open. I generally feel very optimistic that things will get better and that, even if I am having trouble right now, some future me will be better able to handle things.* 

Now, before you picture me decked out in red curls with a little dress just made for curtsying, I’m not Annie. I’m not over here brightsiding myself and other people and you will never catch me singing ‘The sun’ll come out tomorrow!’ at you when things are challenging. (I’m much more of a ‘Yes, that sucks. I’m sorry that’s happening to you. Do you need to vent or are you in solutions-mode?’ kind of person)

And when I say ‘I live in hope’, I never mean that I sit around *waiting* for things to improve, my optimism isn’t empty.  But my default setting is to assume that things will get better so I keep working in that direction. 

So when I say I’m all in for Optimistic October with Action for Happiness, I mean it.

An image of a multicoloured calendar for Optimistic October from Action for Happiness.
Image description: An image of a multicoloured calendar for Optimistic October from Action for Happiness with a tip for each day. The calendar blocks are in various shades of yellow, orange, pink, and red, with cartoon images around the edge. The image includes a small plant, a person on a hike, a book, a sneaker, a banana, an apple, and a very small person holding a huge sign with the image of the earth on it.

Optimism – believing in a positive future and taking steps to make that future happen- is a good strategy for feeling happier overall and I like how Action for Happiness makes it a bit easier to shift yourself towards optimistic thinking and a little extra happiness. 

I especially like how this month’s calendar starts out with the suggestion that you identify three things to look forward to. What a great way to practice optimism and to savour something fun in advance. 

Even though my base level of optimism is quite high, I will be trying the tips for Optimistic October. 

And I hope you’ll join me for whichever ones feel doable for you. I think your brain might like it!

Still image description: a video from the Action for Happiness YouTube channel. The video is called ‘Building Optimism and Hope: 3 top tips with Vanessa King.’ The still image shows King, a white-appearing woman with blonde hair cut in a shoulder-length bob, from the shoulders up. She is in a sunlit room with plants and flowers behind her.

*Yes, this sometimes backfires on me when it turns out that future me is the same as past me but I’m learning to figure out when it’s a good idea to assign something to future me and when it is better for current me to do it.

5 ideas for self-kindness and midlife backpacking
advice · fit at mid-life · fitness · health · hiking · holiday fitness · mobility · traveling · vacation · walking

5 ideas for self-kindness and midlife backpacking

elan.paulson

I grew up with the romantic trope of the adventurous, rangey 20-something backpacker who freely wanders the world for months at a time. I stayed home for grad school in my twenties: the only backpack I carried was with my library books or my groceries. Then, last year at 44, I bought my first travel backpack (a Tortuga 35L), and so far I’ve done two short overseas trips with it (and smaller local trips).

What I lack in experience with worldly backpacking I make up for by watching others. These small midlife backpacking ideas gained learned from my more well-travelled midlife friends have made this style of travel kind and supportive for me. I acknowledge I use them as a privileged, white English-speaking woman travelling to urban and semi-urban places as a foreigner and a guest.

My friend Marnie and her 40L pack, while we were about to leave our guest house in Istanbul.

Lightening the load

My first lessons of midlife backpacking were: pack light (if you wish to avoid luggage checks on planes) and be ready to carry what you pack.

Many travel backpacks today come with a few different clips—across the chest and across the stomach—to distribute the weight of the pack. On my recent trip I left my waist clips at home to reduce overall pack weight; however, I regretted it, as without them the full weight of the pack meant my shoulders got tired faster.

In my pre-travel preparation I saw for sale many funky and clever but bulky and expensive smaller bags and bottles for stuff within the pack. My more experienced travel buds showed me that ziploc bags and plastic water bottles were much lighter, had many different uses, and could be re-used multiple times.

Medicines and their containers

Last time I travelled abroad I got a cold, and it was miserable without the medicines I use. So I was not going to leave them at home again

On my recent trip I kept with me at all times a small key ring capsule with emergency over-the-counter meds, and in my pack I had a larger fold up storage pill container with enough for the whole trip. Some of my friends even travel with (doctor-prescribed) antibiotics and medicines for UTIs, just in case of an emergency.

It may be extra planning and cost, but it is worthwhile to me to bring a range of medicines that can make me feel better if I feel unwell, even if it is unlikely I will get sick.

A large and small pill holder

Foot care and hydration

This year I followed my friend Marnie’s lead and took extra care of my feet: I brought moisture-wicking hiking socks, KT blister prevention tape, moleskin, wound cleaning wipes, waterproof bandages, and foot cream for quick at-night foot massages. When I scraped my foot raw on the submerged rocks while swimming at the beach in Greece, I was able to care for my feet the days following.

As well, I brought a water bladder and water purification tablets. I used them first as a water station in the places we stayed; later I took them along on hikes in 37 degree Celsius weather. I also brought electrolyte tablets, using half of one at a time. As a result, I was never dehydrated and I felt really good at the end of the day. I didn’t need expensive water bottle purchases in remote locations, and it kept my hands free.

Elan at the Saklikent Gorge, Turkey, wearing a bucket hat, sunglasses, shorts, and a backpack with a bladder and hose for hydration.

Apps and digital tools

My friends showed me how to up my mobile game when traveling internationally.

  • Our trip planner, Kim, checks not only directions but also the Google satellite and street views of the places she is going. That way, she can marry written or oral instructions with visible paths and landmarks to confirm wayfinding.
  • Upon Kimi’s recommendation, I used the free version of the DeepL app for real time written and audio language translations. We used the app to chat with some local women on the train as we played cards, and it was a great way to pass the time and make new friends.
  • After I accidentally gave the wrong amount and currency to a store vendor, a Sheila suggested her free version of Units Plus, a currency exchange app that converts two currencies quickly. This app was helpful in places with multiple currencies to avoid overpaying.
  • I used to travel with print books, and I appreciate the serendipity of leaving or finding good books where backpackers stay. However, this time I used Apple Books for a novel, a library travel audio book, and podcasts to pass the time while traveling.

Every app saved pack weight and made the trip a little safer, easier, and more fun.

Give myself and others grace

My midlife-friendly learning on my recent backpacking trip: do what I need to be a little easier on myself and others. Stop and take the pack off. Invest in quick-dry underwear (that really does dry super quick on the line). Take a break for another coffee before I get tired and grumpy later in the day.

Always try to be patient and kind with others, especially those in the travel service industry. Take the time to ask a hotel owner about their family or a server about what they would recommend ordering on the menu.

I learned to embrace the fact I don’t have anything to prove on my backpack travels. Instead, I could exercise the self-understanding that I have acquired by midlife (compared to my much less self-aware self in my 20s). Being a midlife backpacker has helped me to be not only kinder to myself as a traveller but also to the locals who shoulder many burdens put upon them by travellers (most of which I do not ever see).

Elan’s legs and feet over a concrete walkway on our way to Fethiye, Turkey. We stopped for a break, so I used my pack to elevate my legs and give my feet a much-needed rest!

What small ideas or tips (for backpacking or otherwise) have you learned that make your travel journeys a little easier for you in midlife?

challenge · fitness · habits · health

Sunshine, Self-Care, and Smart Habits: Your Guide to a Healthy Summer

Sam B

This came across my newsfeed, 12 New Habits to Try if You Want to Focus on Your Health This Summer: “Small changes to your lifestyle can make a big impact on your overall health. Here are the top ones you should consider starting today.”

It’s a pretty good list. Go read the article if you want details but here are the twelve recommended habits: prioritize sleep, walk more, read for 30 minutes, meditate, spend more time in nature, eat more plant based foods, drink more water, drink less alcohol, quit smoking, spend more time with loved ones, take a break from electronics, take up a new hobby.

It’s a pretty good list, right?

You could either just pick five and join us in our personalized version of the 75 day challenge, or try taking on all twelve at once.

Anything you’d add? I’ve got writing on my habit list. If I were going to six, I might add gardening.

Speaking of which, I did find a great new habit tracker. It’s free and open source. It’s also simple, which I like. I blogged about it here.

red lens sunglasses on sand near sea at sunset selective focus photography
Sunglasses. Photo by Nitin Dhumal on Pexels.com

Oh, and thanks, Microsoft copilot, for help with blog titles!

Notes from the Healing Rollercoaster
health · illness

Notes from the Healing Rollercoaster

Mina4 Comments

I am on a healing journey (as many of you already know from my posts here and here). Or, if I can describe my current experience with more accuracy—I’m on a healing rollercoaster. Less than a year ago, I was diagnosed with Addison’s Disease. The short of that diagnosis is that I’m on 3x a day medication and I have to eat a low potassium diet, aka a pleasure deprivation regime. To keep hope alive, I have engaged with a functional medicine program to explore alternative options to healing my disease, which my endocrinologist says cannot be healed. Ever.

Right now. I need to believe otherwise.  

There are a number of challenging questions that pop up as I embark on this alternative (functional) medicine undertaking:

  1. How do I define healing?
  2. Does being healed equal being off my medication?
  3. What about supplements? Do they count as medication?  
  4. Is being healed coming to a place of acceptance around taking my medication? After all, my energy is good and I am able to do all the activities I want with my enthusiastic effort levels of old. The one thing I can’t do—eat high potassium foods.
  5. Is being healed eating avocado toast and chocolate whenever and in whatever quantities I want? Even if I’m still on medication?  
  6. What is the measure or metric of being healed? What is the function in functional medicine?
  7. Or (the big or) is being healed a state of mind?

As you can no doubt discern from these contemplations, I have not yet accepted that Addison’s Disease is going to be a lifetime companion. Nor do I have the capacity yet to see this disease as a golden opportunity to explore my patience and acceptance. Addison’s has afflicted me, it is not a cascade of liquid sunshine, showering my life with unexpected gifts. While I am no longer fighting the disease, the way I did at the beginning, not wanting to believe I even needed the medication and being uncooperative on that front, I still can’t find solid ground. Which brings me hard up against that last question.

Is being healed a state of mind?

This question is particularly nagging. One of the elements of my alternative (functional) healing program is a brain rewiring technique, by which I work through negative thought loops on a daily basis, cultivating neuroplasticity with a series of movements paired with scripted acknowledgments of my current condition and visualizations of my future. The promise is that as I rewire my brain, my body will follow.

I’m torn between the part of me that thinks the practice is kooky, possibly even hokum and the part of me that knows that the practice can only work if I throw myself into it wholeheartedly. That part also knows (and research shows that) our bodymind does not necessarily know the difference between a role we play and reality. So much so that playing the role of believing in the practice may be enough for the practice to work, if I play the role of engaging with wholeheartedness. As I do the movements and speak the script with the conviction of the role I’m playing, the change will begin to happen. This will lead me to believe in the practice, amping up my wholeheartedness. More change will happen, deepening my belief and engagement and so on.

A virtuous cycle. Which risks sounding as loopy to some of you, as it does to that part of me, who I mentioned a moment ago, who is on the lookout for snake oil sales people.

I started less than a week ago on the brain rewiring practice. And two weeks ago, I embarked on the supplement regime and using a device that emits far infrared to boost stem cell production and reduce inflammation.  

Here’s how everything is going so far … during the first two weeks of supplements and far infrared therapy, I swung between the conviction that I am on the road to healing, which was boosted by the fact that my tweaky hamstring healed in record time (for which I give credit to the far infrared) and the conviction that I’m a fool who just wasted money on a functional medicine guide to cure a hamstring injury that would have healed in a few months anyway. In other words, I was high and then I was low and then I was high and then … After two days of the brain training, I felt a full body thrill of optimism. That was last Thursday.

Last Friday, as I was setting out for a hike, I got the results of a blood test I’d taken the day before (so, for perspective, less than two weeks into my new supplement and far infrared regime and two days into brain training). The results were, at first glance, not what I’d hoped. My potassium was back up to the highest end of normal, despite medication, diet, supplements, far infrared, and brain training. All the everything. Yes, I know, I’ve barely started the new regime, what did I expect? Still, I expected.

I was devastated and cried sporadically while hiking, when I wasn’t furious with the world and myself. Overcome by hopelessness and self-pity. Why does nothing ever go right for me? Which then plunged me into the steeper drop of, why am I never the right person? And so on. All of which was a nauseatingly precipitous drop from my I’ve-started-brain-training-and-I’m-going-to-heal-myself-with-my-mind optimism from the day before.  

Later, looking more closely at the results with my endocrinologist and my FM guide, there was actually more good news than bad. My cortisol has gone up to “very normal, even high,” as my endocrinologist said. My ACTH, the hormone which stimulates the release of cortisol into our system, was down into normal mid-range, the lowest it’s been in at least a year. A year ago, my ACTH was at 15x the current level. My body was screaming at the top of its lungs for more cortisol production. To no avail. This normalization of my cortisol production, according to my FM guide, is, at least partly, thanks to the licorice root I’ve started taking. Plus, both DHEA and Vitamin D, which were concerns for my FM guide and are part of my new regime, are now in healthy ranges.

I took the weekend off to put myself back together after my vertiginous mood plunge, followed by the upswing of the closer look. Optimism returns. Cautiously. And then yesterday and today with more vigor, as I renew my commitment to my brain training.

Photo of rollercoaster by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

The questions I listed earlier continue to rattle around. I have no idea of the answers. And I know (really, I do) that it’s too early to have any idea if anything is working. When I signed on with the FM guide, I strapped myself into a rollercoaster. I don’t know how long the ride will last. I can’t see the full extent of its climbs and plunges. I could get off, but then I’d probably just be on a different rollercoaster and this one comes with a dose of hope. I’m choosing to keep my seat belt on.

In the meantime, out for a ride this morning, I indulged in the enormous pleasure of setting my gear at a harder level than usual for the uphills and feeling into the power of my legs and the joy of movement.