Grab a cup of tea and a snack, this post will be long.
I’m sure I’ve mentioned it here and there on the blog but I’ve been having extra trouble doing things for a while now.
Everything has been just a little harder. I’ve struggled to start things, I’ve struggled to finish things and there have been some tasks that just felt impossible – tasks that would normally be well within my capacity.
Unfortunately, because of the stress of the past few years and because of how ADHD categories things for me, I didn’t realize how much this was happening.
I’ve been struggling with exercise, including Taekwon-do. I’ve been struggling with writing projects and other creative activities. And I have had trouble summoning the energy to do good planning for a lot of different areas of my life.
I had put this all down to various kinds of stress, ambient stress, grief, and the kind of work-juggling stress that comes from a combination of ADHD and having taken on a few too many projects.
Oh, and, of course, the kind of stress that comes from feeling like you have been making too many excuses about too many things for far too long (even though there have been SO MANY OBSTACLES one after the other.)
Recently, though, I have discovered that there may be an underlying cause contributing to my frustrations over the past six months.
I tried to write a post about it several times in the past week, but I couldn’t pull my thoughts together the way I needed to.
So yesterday, on World Creativity and Innovation Day I decided to take a different approach and I made a zine instead.
I actually thought doing a zine would be quicker but as I wrote page 20, I realized that there was no way to make this story short.
I have photos of each page of my zine below and I’ll put a image description with each one, but if that’s all too long to read scroll way down to the bottom and I’ll put a summary of the whole thing.
Got your tea?
Let’s go!
A photo of the cover of a black-and-white zine called Well This Is Frustrating – a scene about an unexpected answer to a mystery by Christine HenneburyA photo of a black-and-white page with the following text “When you have muscle pain and stress and anxiety and brain fog and extra migraines and low energy and it keeps getting harder and harder to start stuff and to keep doing stuff or to even think about starting or doing stuff” Some of these words have been sort of illustrated. The word brain is huge. The word fog is made in sort of wiggly letters that kind of look like fog and next to extra migraines there is a picture of a person’s head in a vise. There was a black arrow after the word stuff.A photo of a black-and-white page with a drawing of a confused looking robot next to text that reads “it can be really tricky to figure out why?” Why is written in block letters and running vertically on the page instead of horizontally.A photo of a black-and-white page that features a pill bottle with eyes and a frown, and the word Concerta printed across its middle and it has its little arms crossed. A speech balloon next to it says This isn’t my fault. The text on the page reads “First I wondered ‘Are my ADHD meds failing me?’ That would explain the stress and anxiety and brain fog and the low energy and the trouble getting started…”A photo of a black-and-white page that reads: “but it doesn’t explain why a few minutes of exercise feels like an hour. And it doesn’t explain the muscle pain, especially in my neck and shoulders, and usually my ADHD fights me on getting started, it doesn’t usually prevent me from carrying on, so maybe it’s…” in brackets at the bottom of the page more text reads “I’m 52. Can you guess what is on the next page?”A photo of a black-and-white page that reads “perimenopause” in big letters and right underneath it says “or even full on menopause?” On the bottom left is a black-and-white witch’s cauldron with bubbles and steam rising from it, and the cauldron is labeled “(peri)menopause may contain brain fog, anxiety, muscle aches, mood issues, low energy, and more!” Next to the caldron is text that reads “I thought: OK maybe but it doesn’t exactly fit. It doesn’t feel quite right.”Black-and-white text that reads “You know what? The worst of it wasn’t even the symptoms. It was how I had been gradually (and unbeknownst to me) narrowing my life to deal with them.” At the bottom of the page are four speech balloons: 1st speech balloon says – I don’t want to write about that. It takes too much energy. 2nd speech balloon says – Maybe I’ll feel up to that next week. 3rd speech balloon – OK Khalee, maybe we’ll take a shorter walk today. 4th speech balloon – I don’t know if I’ll go. I feel tired just thinking about it.A photo of a black-and-white page with text reading: “I adjusted my meds. I got lots of rest. I reduced my stress as much as possible. I tried taking teeny steps toward more exercise, but still, I found myself here” There’s an arrow from the word here that is pointing to a drawing of the top of a person‘s head underneath a stack of boxes that read 1) I just cannot 2) task initiation issues 3) lack of motivation 4) fatigue 5) muscle aches 6) nope 7) brain fog. The person is saying ‘Glerg’ to all of this.A photo of a black-and-white page that reads “and this all seems like part and parcel of the same big problem from this perspective. But when it was developing, and when I was living it, it kind of snuck up on me. Each piece seemed like a separate issue.” The word big is written in much larger and darker text. And the word separate has each letter in a box sort of like scrabble tiles laid next to each other.A photo of a black-and-white page that reads “I talked to my doctor about some of it, and I did some research on my own about other stuff and I kept meaning to call my chiropractor, but I kept forgetting.” The word Dr is wearing a stethoscope. There is a picture of a computer and some books next to the research sentence, and at the bottom of the page is a drawing of a person with their face enveloped in a cloud that says brain fog and there’s a speech balloon that says “what was I going to do?”A photo of a black-and-white page that reads “But then an idea arrived from an unexpected source. Last time I was at the hairdresser, she mentioned that my scalp was hard as a rock. I said. ‘Must be stress, I guess’ but it made me think if my scalp is so tight, what else is not working right?” And in brackets at the bottom, it says “good question hey?” On the upper left on the page there’s a very rough drawing of a hairdresser washing someone’s hair and there’s a note beneath that says “Please note that Hillary is not a ragamuffin. I don’t have the skills to draw her well.”A photo of a black-and-white page that says “and then I started having trouble with my neck. A knot on the right side kept recurring so I called a massage therapist. I mean, this was a specific issue that could be treated in a specific way. This was what is known in the field as a good idea.” In the middle of this page is a small drawing of a person‘s chin, mouth, and neck and there’s a large black spot on the right side of the neck. Notes next to the picture read “a reasonable hand-drawn facsimile”, and “in real life, I have hair and features.” At the bottom right of the page next to the word good idea is a light bulb.A photo of a black-and-white page that says, “and it was a good idea. During my massage, Renee said something like “You know, you have the tightest neck. One of the tightest I’ve ever massaged. My other clients with this tight of a neck have a constant headache.” At the bottom of the page in darker letters is text reading “Wait! Could a tight neck be part of the big problem?”A photo of a black-and-white page with dark text that reads: “I asked her some questions and then did some research about the checklist of things she mentioned.” In the middle of the page (enclosed in a box) is a checklist that reads “tight neck, tight shoulders, ribs tight enough to restrict breathing, tight jaw” and each item is checked off. Beneath the checklist is text reading “and yep! All of those things can add up to brain fog, fatigue, mood issues, lack of motivation, low energy and increased migraine/headaches/muscle aches…”A photo of a black-and-white page with large text at the top that reads “Maybe it’s ADHD….Maybe it’s menopause…Or maybe it’s neck and back related?” Smaller text below reads “That certainly would explain a lot. Sure, ADHD. perimenopause, and stress could be doing their part but maybe, just maybe, the underlying issue was more directly treatable? I love this for me. I mean it’s still a challenge, but it’s way more straightforward.”
A photo of a black-and-white page with large takes to the top that says “But wait! There’s more!” And then smaller text reads. “I was telling all this to my friend Cathy via text when she asked a key question.” In a Speech balloon is the text “So it’s all due to stress? You didn’t have an injury did you?” In larger text it reads “I went to say all stress and then I remembered one afternoon last October…”A photo of a black and white zine page with text reading: “I was lying in my circle swing in the backyard when CRACK the branch it was hanging on broke and down came baby (Me!) cradle (i.e. swing) and all. The branch landed on my hands and I landed on the ground.” The word crack is printed in big letters and there’s a crack running through each one – a little space between the top and the bottom of each letter. At the bottom of the page is a very rough drawing of what supposed to be a circle swing on the ground with me lying on it, holding a branch aloft.A black-and-white photo of text reading “I was shocked and I hurt, but not ‘specific injury’ and not ‘something’s broken’ hurt. It was more of a jangled nerves and ‘I feel jammed together’ situation. I checked for symptoms of concussion, but you know what I did didn’t check for?”A photo of a black-and-white page with a whip drawn at the top and the word WHIPLASH in large black letters. Smaller text reads “Now, I haven’t seen my doctor yet but can you guess what happens when you don’t treat whiplash right away? Yep, brain fog, breathing issues, muscle pain, anxiety, mood issues, low energy, motivation, troubles, headaches.” Text in brackets at the bottom reads: “You get the idea.”A photo of a black-and-white page that reads “And you know what else happened a while ago? I fell on the steps and kind of caught myself. So I definitely added to the whiplash or whatever happened as the result of my fall.” Larger text at the bottom reads “And the effects of those two unpleasant but largely unremarkable incidents have been compounding for months.” Note: The words “I fell on the steps” are written as if they are a set of steps with a landing in the center.A photo of a black-and-white zine page with text reading “All of the yoga, all of the stretching, all of the bits and pieces of exercises? I couldn’t actually make progress with them, couldn’t get them to a new level. All of that effort was actually going towards keeping things from getting worse.” The word progress and the word level are written larger than everything else on the page for emphasis.A photo of a black-and-white page with text reading “And I had no idea. Yes, I knew about my frustration. I knew about my symptoms, but I couldn’t see the big picture.” The word frustration and the word symptoms are both written larger than the surrounding text and the words big picture are written very large and much darker than the other text and they’re surrounded by a rectangle almost like a picture frame.A photo of black-and-white text that reads “I didn’t realize that I had been limiting myself avoiding things that aggravated my injuries. I noticed that I ‘wasn’t trying hard enough’ and I was fighting the urge to be critical of myself about it.” All of that text is in large black letters, not capitals, but with emphasis. At the bottom of the page there is some text in lighter strokes that is in brackets and it reads” ‘You aren’t trying hard enough’ was my unmedicated brain’s favourite refrain. It still hurts to think it.”A photo of black-and-white text that reads: “And now I’m realizing that there was an underlying issue, something causing all the symptoms, something preventing me from trying hard enough. It reminds me of when I first found out I have ADHD I feel both sad (for the lost time) and hopeful for the future, but I have a question that haunts me.A photo of black-and-white text that is all in dark, emphasized letters: “What would’ve happened to me, to my life, to my ability to do the things I like doing, if I hadn’t figured this out?”
So, yeah, that’s where I am right now – trying to be kind to myself, trying not to aggravate my injury further, trying to stretch and rest, and working with my massage therapist (yay, Renee!) to help my neck, shoulders, and upper body figure out how to relax again.
Summary: After months of having a rough time with my physical and mental health, a visit to a massage therapist helped me realize that I may have injured myself more than I realized when I fell in October and then fell again back in January. I may have been dealing with untreated whiplash that has just been compounding over time. Whether or not it’s whiplash, I have been dealing with ongoing neck, shoulder, upper back and rib issues that have actually been physically preventing me from operating in my usual way and at my usual capacity. And I feel rather sad and frustrated about how long it took me to figure out what was going on.
While trying to strike a balance between overplanning and just kind of winging-it, my ADHD-brain often forgets that there are many options in between those two extremes.
I can have a tentative plan. I can have a list (or jar) of ideas to pick from. I can have a flowchart of if-thens. I can follow a plan and then adjust the pieces that aren’t working for me.
I can…probably think of eight million different ways of approaching the things I want to do.
However, all of the options between those extremes really come down to one thing: It’s always a good idea to be responsive to (and take care of) Today’s Me.
The me who makes plans often imagines perfect conditions for today’s me.
She forgets that I might be busy or sick or uncomfortable or upset or helping someone else or just plain unable to do the things she set out for me to do.
Changing my plans in response to Today’s Me’s needs is not slacking off, it’s not giving up, it’s not getting sidetracked.
Actually, since all of my fitness/well-being goals are really about taking good care of myself long-term, changing my plans in response to Today’s Me’s needs is actually getting me closer to those goals instead of further away.*
Giving myself room to change, adapt, or adjust Past Me’s plans is a vital part of learning to take good care of all versions of myself – past, present, and future.
And the same goes for you, Team.
The steps that lead you toward your goals will not look the same every day. Sometimes you will have the capacity to take bigger steps, sometimes your steps will be smaller, and sometimes you will need to rest. And, of course, the information you gather over time will occasionally lead to you taking a whole different path or choosing a whole different goal.
It only makes sense for you to respond to Today’s You’s needs so you can continue to support all of the versions of you going forward.
Being kind to yourself like this is really a life-long practice, hey? (Yeah, I know. I had kind of hoped I could just learn it once and then keep going, too.)
Here is your gold star for your efforts today whether you are able to respond to Today’s You or whether you are still figuring out what that might look like.
I wish you ease either way.
Image description: A small painting of a smiley-faced gold star with black pinstripes in the background is propped against a green background on my white desk.
*As someone with ADHD, I need to take a close look at whatever Today’s Me wants because I know that the me-of-this-moment may not be great at prioritizing or at thinking long-term. So responding constructively to Today’s Me’s needs might look a little different for me but it’s still important to do it. (I know just how stubborn Tomorrow’s Me will be if I am unkind to Today’s Me!)
Last week I outlined my plans for April and I thought I made things pretty easy for myself.
And I kind of did.
But, apparently, not quite easy enough.
It turns out that a mindful cup of tea – clear break- in the afternoon is a lovely addition to my day.
My days have felt a bit calmer.
I have gotten to have tea with friends three times, including tea with my sister Denise on her birthday.
I just feel really good about making a point to stop for tea and a rest.
And I’m sure that yoga would have a similar calming effect and would feel great for my body and my brain…
If I could remember to do it.
I mean, technically speaking, I have done yoga daily because I did a few focused stretches and a little time in Savasana (corpse pose) before heading to bed.
But that wasn’t what I had intended to do each evening.
My plan was to do a 10 minute yoga video before bed so a few stretches and some time in Savasana was not the kind of practice I was seeking.
Instead, it’s the kind of practice I end up doing when I realize moments before bed that I don’t have enough energy to do 10 minutes of movement – even gentle, restful movement.
So, since the tea practice is coming to me fairly easily, I will just let that one roll along and I will focus on figuring out how to remember to do that 10 minutes of yoga before I am too tired.
This week, I’ll experiment with setting an alarm for 9pm and see if that makes things easier.
And once I’m done my daily yoga, I’ll probably even have another cup of tea.*
Image description: A photo of the edit-alarm screen on my phone. The background is black and there are settings for the time (9:00 PM), Repeat (daily), Label (Yay for Yoga!), Sound (Constellation), Snooze (option is on),This isn’t from this week, I just like this photo. Image description: a large glass mug decorated with stars is sitting on a wooden table. The mug is partially full of tea (a tea bag is still in the mug and the white tag is hanging over the side) and next to it is a green post-it note that has the word reminder at the top and below it is a drawing of a robot pointing to a sign that reads ‘Everyone needs to recharge!’
*Don’t worry about me drinking tea at 9pm. Mostly it’s ginger-peach tea but even if I have caffeine at that hour it won’t keep me up – this may or may not be related to my ADHD.
I’m starting April while on a school storytelling tour with my friend Catherine (not blogger Catherine, a whole other marvellous Catherine) so the month is truly off to a good start.
Storytelling is great for my mental health and the fact that I am taking a break from my usual routine AND hanging out with a dear friend compounds the positive effects.
And this tour has been good for my physical health too because Catherine is a big proponent of finding energy by getting outdoors. So there have already been several times when her choice to go for a walk has shifted me into a more active rest mode after a busy day instead of just sitting around.
(To be clear, there are times when sitting around would be the right thing to do but in this case the walk felt waaaaaaaay better.)
Since the month is starting on such a positive note I have decided to add more positive health elements.
1. I found out yesterday that April is Afternoon Tea Month which is definitely a made-up kind of commemoration but as an avid maker-up-of-things, I’m here for it.
I’m going to celebrate by taking an afternoon tea break every day.
I can hear my sisters’ voices as I write that, “Chris, don’t you already drink tea every afternoon?”
And the answer is “Of course I do!”
But my April plan to to focus on the ritual of it, the making of the tea, the clearing of mental space, the sitting down to drink it.
This isn’t going to be a ‘drink tea at my desk while working’ kind of thing, it’s going to be an actual break in my afternoon.
One of my favourite cups for tea (a gift from my friend Mary) Image description: a cup of tea sitting on a small mat on my table with my ebook slightly out of focus in the background. My cup has a blue octopus on the side (only part of it is visible) and it has an ice cream cone held in one of its tentacles.
So that’s a small April addition for my mental health, now on to my physical health.
2) I mentioned last week that I am following the Active April calendar so that is staying part of the plan but I am also going to really commit to evening yoga (again!) and I have made a YouTube playlist to choose from each day.
And since I know sometimes get stuck in the decision making process, I am giving myself the default that if I can’t pick one, I have to choose the video immediately after the one from the night before.
I have often done evening yoga before and I throughly enjoy it when I do but I have gotten out of the habit so this is as good a time as any to get started again.
Usually, it occurs to me to share the Action for Happiness calendar once the month has already started but, for once, I have remembered to share it in advance.
You may even have time to plan!
I always really like the ‘small’ steps approach outlined in these calendars and I am slowly, slowly, slowly learning not to try and ‘catch up’ if I miss a day. I hope you can do the same or even just pick a few things to try here and there.
I also enjoy how Active April invites us to take action for our own happiness AND reminds us that being more active can help boost our mood and our feeling of well-being.
And, to be clear, suggesting that we seek these small moments of well being is not about being in denial of the state of the world right now. Instead, it is part of fortifying ourselves so we can do the necessary work of supporting our communities and resisting evil.
image description: a calendar of daily suggestions for Active April. The blocks are in different shades of blue and green and there are cartoon images of people doing a variety of activities around the edge.
An embedded video of Vanessa King from Action for Happiness entitled ‘No Happiness Without Action: 3 top tips with Vanessa King.’ The still image shows Vanessa Kind, a middle aged woman with shoulder length hair and bangs smiling toward the camera.
By the way, if you are looking for other things to try/celebrate/do in April, check out the list here of national days, weeks, and month celebrations here: National Days in April.
My continuing quest to improve my posture and knee health has taken me down the weird road of re-learning to walk. I didn’t quite realize that was what I was doing until I read Breath, by James Nestor. He writes about a multi-year drought project to learn about breathing, and how it has affected his health.
Obviously, I know how to walk. What I’m less good at is walking with my shoulders back, my torso lifted, and my head and feet at optimal angles. My new habit is to walk during my shifts on desk at the pool. I wiggle my shoulders to remind them to be wide both front and back. I peek at my reflection to make sure my feet are facing forward, rather than turned out like a duck’s.
I walk backwards sometimes (most of the benefits may be overstated, but it’s a good way for me to keep scanning the pool as I move around). I walk sideways. Sometimes I stop and go up on my toes 20 times, or do little leg lifts.
A Lego image of a lifeguard wearing a red bathing suit and pinny.
Similarly, I am trying a few of the techniques in Breath. I breathe in through my nose and exhale slowly out my mouth as much as possible when exercising. Sometimes I try box breathing, especially when I’m trying to relax. Occasionally, I’ll even do a bit of yoga alternate nostril breathing. The rest of the time, I focus on breathing only through my nose, at least when I’m awake. I have not yet resorted to taping or strapping my mouth shut for sleep, though I confess to having considered it.
Mina wrote recently about some of the alternative medicine things she is trying alongside her prescription medications. I thought it was an interesting approach.
Like Mina, I’m just doing them as entertaining supplements to my physiotherapy and prescribed medications. I think they’re helping a little. If not, that’s fine; they won’t hurt me (as long as I don’t trip).
I have started this post approximately 8 million times today and I just couldn’t get any momentum.
Some topics were too small to get anywhere with and others were too big to wrap my head around on this kind-of-low-energy, didn’t-sleep-well, had-a-Covid-booster-shot-this-morning day.
And I had actually posted to the other bloggers to see if anyone had something they wanted to post today instead of me but before anyone could take me up on it, I remembered my best ways of getting things done.
a) do the easy thing
b) make it small
For this post, doing the easy thing meant focusing on writing ANYTHING instead of focusing on writing something good. I didn’t have to be profound or comprehensive, and I didn’t have to have some actionable conclusion, I could just write about how things are for me today – fitness-wise, mental health-wise, or wellness-wise.
And making it small meant that I didn’t have to write an essay, I could write a paragraph, I could post a photo, I could write a list.
So I did!
Here are three things that are making me happy today and that have the potential to bring me happiness in the longer-term, too.
1) Usually, Khalee and I walk by ourselves in the afternoon but a few times over the past week, thanks to the good weather and brighter evenings, Steve and I have taken her for another short walk together after supper.
More time with my husband, more time outdoors, a bit of extra exercise, and a definite break between the different parts of my day? I love this new routine!
image description: an evening photo of Khalee, my light-haired, medium-sized dog standing on a sidewalk next to some grass. She is looking back over her shoulder towards the camera and she has her tongue stuck out. There are two shadows on the sidewalk between her and the camera because the streetlight that just came on is behind me and my husband. You can’t tell in the photo of course but I’m laughing as I take this photo because the angle of where I am holding my phone makes my shadow-head look kind of rectangular.
2) I saved this Instagram post this morning because I loved how the ideas felts and I appreciated the simple (but not easy) suggestions about how to incorporate yoga principles into daily life.
I haven’t really put this into practice yet of course but I am trying to figure out ways to remind myself to return to these ideas repeatedly so they can become part of my routine.
An imbedded post from Instagram in which @johuttonyoga is talking about small moments of yoga in their day – trying to stay present, to deal with uncertainty, and to live yoga principles in a way that is more being than doing.
3) I’m reading Anne-Laure Le Cunff’s book Tiny Experiments: How to live freely in a goal-obsessed world and, so far at least, it’s a marvellous match for how my ADHD brain likes to get things done. I’ll be writing more about it when I’m finished reading but I wanted you to know about it in the meantime.
Yes, I did think it was funny to take a photo of my (e)book with this post in the background. Gotta find your fun wherever you can, right? Image description: a photo of the ebook cover of Tiny Experiments on my Kobo ereader. The device is propped up in front of my monitor on my desk and this post is displayed on screen. On the lower left of the monitor is a white piece of paper with text reading ‘Own Your Time’ and on the right is a sticker with a human skull and text reading ‘Pick Your Poison’ both of which are notes-to-self reminding me to choose how to spend my time instead of just letting it gallop along. My reading glasses are on the desk on the left.
It’s been a long, cold winter, and I work a few days a week from home, so I’m inside at my desk a lot right now. When a friend told me she uses a Cubii whenever she works at her desk I went online to see about it (as one does).
The Cubii is one of many (many) under-desk elliptical and cycling trainers, ranging from about $150-$450 (if you don’t count the high-end ones). They claim to be small, silent, and easy enough to be peddled for exercise while one sits doing office work. The Cubii looks simple and convenient, though if I bought one it might join all of my other doo-dads I have bought over the years for simple and convenient exercise…now gathering dust.
Pedal trainers join many (many) other devices that are sold for exercise at one’s desk: isometric standing devices, standing desk mats with ridges for stretching, disc wobble cushions, gyro balls, and smart water bottles. I remember when at one time there was only the stabilizer ball that you sat on instead of a chair. Now you can buy an entire work station that doubles as exercise machinery.
Various people sitting on exercise balls at desks, a google image search
Awhile ago I read an article by Eryk Salvaggio (2024), “Challenging the Myths of Generative AI”, that has stuck with me. The piece focuses on how, based on misunderstandings about how AI works, certain myths are shaping how we justify AI’s importance and reshaping how we think about ourselves and what we do.
For example, AI is widely regarded as useful because it is understood to save time. (Frequent users know this may not be true depending on how complex the task, how good one’s prompting skills are, and how critical one is about the output). The productivity myth underlying this valuation is the automation of work. If is AI is good because it saves time, then automating more of our work with AI is good because it will save more time. In this AI-infused workflow cycle, where saving time with AI is better than working without it, the automation of work itself becomes the preferred norm.
Put another way, has anyone encouraged using AI to help complete a task more slowly because that task is worth spending time on?
I just spent a bunch of time explaining that idea (thanks for sticking with me) because the productivity myth may take a related form in the world of desk exercise equipment. This equipment is sold as a healthy remedy for the harms of sedentary office work, but it also produces a new idea that exercising while working is good. We save time because we are doing both at once, but in doing so our relationships to work and exercise change.
In “optimizing” work time also as exercise time (or using exercise time to work) then neither work nor exercise needs to be (should be?) the single focus of our time. Whether we are effective working while exercising, or exercising in safe form or duration while working, is beside the point.
Of course, no one lives in this purely either/or world: you can use your Cubii at your desk and still go curling later in the day. And, not every minute of our work day is likely to suffer if we were to divide our attention with light exercise once in awhilr. For fidgety people like myself, physical activity of some sort might indeed promote increased focus during certain tasks.
Furthermore, if you want to exercise at work, you can certainly avoid commodifying it by passing on the costly exercise equipment and opting for brief stretching or body weight exercises. Most importantly, I am certainly not refusing the vast evidence that prolonged seated work is bad for one’s health.
But…in reviewing many review pages of Cubiis (and their first and second cousins) I began reflecting on how serving the myth of productivity means we may be more more likely to buy things that will help us to squeeze more out of our time without questioning the squeezing. When it is always better to optimize by going faster or doing two things at once, we may start to care less about what we are actually doing than how long it takes us to get to the next thing.
I’m pretty happy with how Planuary has gone this year.
I’ve managed to make some plans, test out a few ideas, and do some structured thinking about how I want to roll out some projects.
I haven’t actually taken a lot of action yet but actions are not the focus of Planuary anyway!
So, here are a few updates:
Journaling
Reflective journaling is going pretty well. I’m not getting to it daily yet but I am moving in that direction.
But if I don’t get to it in the morning, I need to find stronger ways to remind myself about it at other times of the day.
This photo of Khalee has nothing to do with my post but I thought it was funny because it looks like I interrupted her while she was reading. Image description: my dog, Khalee, is lying on her belly on my bed with her head raised. The room is dim and my ereader is glowing next to her, lighting the side of her face, and it kind of looks like she has turned from her book to look at the camera.
Yoga/Pushups
I did my yoga practice most days last week but my choices were hampered a bit by the fact that I woke up one day with a wonky knee.
So now I am working on my knee and my upper body and I am putting the ‘incorporate pushups’ part of the plan off for another week until my knee is less weird.
5 Extra Minutes of Movement
I have been doing pretty good with this one. I added 5 minutes of deliberate extra movement four out of seven days this week.
My knee is playing a role here but in two of those four days I chose extra seated movement so clearly it wasn’t the only factor on those other three days.
Maybe I need to say I will get 5 extra minutes of seated movement during the next week and see if that shift opens any mental doors to moving daily.
Next Steps
Since this is my last Tuesday post in January, this is technically my last Planuary post.
However, like the post title says, Planuary is a state of mind.
I want to keep this reflective, curious approach going throughout the year so I am figuring out what that practice might look like.
Last year, I decided that I didn’t really want to plan anything for the whole year, I just wanted to take it month by month and I’m sticking with that idea for 2025.
But I do want to keep checking in with myself and revisiting my ideas/plans/practices in a more structured but still Christine-friendly way.
So, I am starting with these questions:
How and when will I decided what is important for a given month?
How will I keep those things top of mind?
How will I record/reflect/track the details and feelings involved?
So last week‘s Planuary post was very much about physical wellness- about how I’m going to add pushups and upper body yoga into my routine – and this week’s post is about mental wellness – how I am going to (re)implement a stress-reducing practice into my days.
Sidenote: I haven’t actually added the pushups and yoga into my day-to-day yet. Planuary is a deliberately slow process but I will let you know when and how I proceed with the pushup plan.
So my next part of Planuary is about reflection – reflective journaling to be precise.
This isn’t me, obviously. Their writing is tidy and their nail polish isn’t chipped. Image description: a person’s hands are shown writing in a coil-bound notebook. They are wearing a brown sweater and dark nail polish.
For over a year, I was doing long journal entries via voice dictation every day.
It was really useful for my brain and I found that processing everything aloud reduced my stress levels overall.
Then, I just kind of got out of the habit.
There were several reasons for that but the main one was tech-related.
I was using Google Docs for journaling but I use it for a lot of things and it got to be really annoying because it doesn’t have a good way to organize your files and my journal entries were popping up at times when I did not want to see them.
I tried switching to an app instead and while that was better for keeping my journal in one spot (and letting me choose when to see it instead of having it sprung on me), the app itself keeps crashing on my somewhat outdated phone. So, I would be chattering away to my journal and then discover that I hadn’t been recording for ages.
So I tried recording in Google Docs and then copying and pasting the entry into the other app but that made every journaling session a two-step process and my ADHD brain started protesting at the waste of time. (Yes, I know it was just a few seconds but sometimes my brain just won’t.)
Because of the ‘longer’ process, I started delaying my journaling time until later. (In this case, later is ‘the not now’ – a possibly fictional time in which the thing I am trying to do will be magically easier and hassle free. This is a common ADHD trap.)
And that turned into hardly journaling at all.
But I have been really missing the stress-reducing nature of the journaling process – especially when I can use voice dictation to process everything verbally.
So, I want to get back into the reflective journaling habit in a way that works with my brain instead of against it and here’s my plan for doing that:
Record into Google Docs every day for a week and then cut and paste into the app with good organization. Sure, there will temporarily be a single journaling document with up to a week’s worth of reflection in it but I think I can live with that. Also, my brain is fine with a ‘every Friday we cut and paste’ kind of task even though it objects to doing that daily.
Do my journaling as early in the day as possible. Journaling at night is never going to happen for me. I can do short entries but I don’t seem to get into the same rhythm at night and it doesn’t have the same stress-reducing effect. So, I’m going to turn on voice dictation for 10 minutes as soon as I can during the day.
Keep a list of questions to ask myself. I don’t often get stuck for a journaling topic but I want to be prepared, just in case.
Unlike the pushups, I can and will start this practice right away.
As I was considering why I feel drawn back to reflective journaling, I realized that, not only did it help me to reduce my stress levels overall, it also used to help get my brain into ‘time to start work’ mode and anything that helps me with work-related task initiation is good for my mental health and for my overall well-being.
