Family visits: an exercise in cross-training

Trips to see family are, for me, a time when I speed up rather than slow down. I have a lot of relatives I want to see and do things with and for. These relatives live as far as three hours away from my home base, which is my sister’s house. And at this point in family life and history, a bunch of my relatives are of an age where a) I come to them rather than them coming to me; and b) our visits include/consist of my helping them with tasks.

None of this is a problem. It’s life, and I am privileged to be able to travel and help and enjoy their company. Plus, I have lately gotten a fair amount of family swag, the results of relatives downsizing and cleaning out (no one in my family would consider calling this “death cleaning”, even though I’ve mentioned the lovely book that Samantha read and blogged about here). I am, in the interests of paying attention to my own management of stuff, working on the “one in/one out” method, which is going more or less well.

So, what kinds of cross-training have I been doing? Here’s a short list.

Home organizing/clearing out: my mother’s house is a constant battle zone for clutter. She is that person who keeps salad dressing jars and lids “just in case”. Sigh. Every time we visit, we go through drawers and cabinets to clear out expired and unused stuff. We tend to tag team: one of us will talk with my mom about something hopefully interesting while the other (generally my sister) will grab a black contractor bag and rapidly sweep things into the bag.

Personal shopping: my mom doesn’t drive anymore, so trips to the pharmacy and grocery and hardware stores are a regular part of visits. Some things can be delivered, but my mother likes doing the shopping herself and in person, so we go from place to place, armed with lists.

Packing and moving household items: in addition to the constant attention to managing my mom’s shifting household inventory, my sister and I helped my aunt Cathy, who is downsizing from a four-bedroom house to a two-bedroom house. She has a lot of breakable antique doodads– art and pottery and rugs and misc items– which require careful packing and moving. I’m happy to report that a three-foot-tall painting of a moose was successfully moved and placed over the electrical panel in her new hallway.

Efficient personal inventory management: I never stay in one place for long while I’m visiting, so I have to be nimble, with quick turnaround as I move from place to place. I’ve gotten good at literally compartmentalizing my stuff and making sure I keep things together in their compartments and putting everything back at the end of each day. It takes mental effort, but pays off in terms of the security of always knowing where my toothbrush is.

Nutrition and exercise and mindfulness practice: thank goodness for my meditation app, which I use every morning when I wake up, regardless of where that happens to be. I also carry my large and gaily stickered Hydroflask everywhere with me. Exercise is sometimes catch-as-catch-can, but I do get to swim and walk and dog-walk with family, which is fun.

Driver/navigator/tour guide: on this trip, my sister and I logged more than 1000 miles of car travel, zooming to and from various family locations. She prefers driving, so I come up with interesting (read rural) routes, keep us on track (we go through many places where cell signal is nowhere to be found) and offer commentary to entertain my mom or others in the car. Reducing cartime crabbiness is an important job, and I do my best.

Now that I am back home, I can resume my regular schedule of nutrition and physical activity and mindfulness and life tasks. However, I’m taking today off. After being away for more than a week, I need a mini-vacation!