Joyce Lister (MacDonald) Sangster died on Wednesday after nearly 97 years on this earth. It’s easy to only see where a person is at when they die. It’s far harder to see them in their youth, especially when you didn’t know them then.
I’ve written often about Gran, our conversations and her influence on me.
…decorating in defiance of dementia
You might think “what else could she possibly tell us that she hasn’t already?”
Well strap in for the long read, ‘cause I got a lot of tales to tell.
Basketball
Gran was a vibrant and active woman. She played high school basketball and went on to play in the McAdam village women’s team after graduation. She kept the picture of her and her teammates in the den. The uniforms had crisp collars and pleated skirts. It was the late 1940s after all. She would travel to Saint John and Fredericton for tournaments. The journey taking 4 or 5 hours as there weren’t highways at the time.
Skating
My earliest memories of her are helping me ice skate. We would watch figure skating in the 1980s and she would tell me about how the sport started out “well it was basically a little hop and coasting on one leg back then.”
She was steady and graceful on figure skates helping me learn turns and backwards moves.
Cross Country Skiing
She had wooden cross country skis that we would carefully wax. Anj and I would take turns with her, breaking trail on our modern plastic skis both in McAdam and when she lived in Aroostook.
Sometimes we would pick the wrong wax and Gran’s skis would get clumped up with snow. It was hilarious.
Downhill skiing
She and Grandad would take Anj and I to Mt Farlange to downhill ski. A luxury we would never have experienced without her interest.
Snowshoe
There was snowshoeing, toboggan rides and snow forts.
We had our choice of traditional wooden snowshoes. One design we called partridge feet, round on the front with a long tail out the back. This is more widely known as Huron design. The other pairs were aluminum bear paws, oval with lacing rather than gut. It always took a bit to find our stride but then we would run around the woods, floating on top of the snow.
Summer fun
Summertime with Gran meant swimming, rowing a dinghy and splashing along in the pedal boat at the camp on Oromocto Lake.
We would have family get togethers in July, near her birthday. At first it was the extended Sangster clan, including my great grandparents and all of their descendants. As time went on it was down to Gran & Grandad’s family.
These gatherings always included lawn darts, horseshoes and Croquet.
Walking
Gran was famous in retirement for her daily walks. Her morning route took her by most of my family on my Dad and Mom’s side.
A foodie before that was a thing
Besides being incredibly active and fit, Gran was an amazing cook. Her cookies and pies, delicious. She loved feeding people and dessert was served after every meal. Bacon and eggs for breakfast was completed with a donut. Lunch was followed by pie or squares. After dinner, ice cream or cookies.
Big family meals meant a mountain of mashed potatoes that she would not stop serving until we had all undone our waistbands, begging to stop eating.
Growing food and flowers
She loved to garden, growing vegetables and cut flowers. Gran decorated for every occasion and had brooches and outfits for Valentines, St Patrick’s…all the things.
Painting
Gran was an avid oil painter. I would sneak photos of her works in progress. Gran always found fault with her pieces but I was in awe.
Crafting and Gifting
Gran knit, sewed and was generally crafty. She sent me a Christmas card and birthday cards for my whole family every year. Her beautiful script would be accompanied by stickers and a bit of cash. She loved hearing what we bought.
No hugs!
Things I wish were different with Gran. I wished I gotten her hugging more and saying “I love you”. She was very reserved, stoic even. Quick to smile and laugh, she was not demonstrative and neither are her children. I’ve taken up the cause of addressing the hug deficit in my family, much to the chagrin of most.
The last few times I saw her Gran no longer recognized me. Sometimes she thought I was my mom or another long lost relative or friend. While I thought I had said my goodbyes and that I was ready, it turns out I really wasn’t. I’m so sad for the lost time. She was an immense figure in my life despite being a very tiny woman.
In case you do know our family and want to leave condolences I’ve included her obituary.
