My gran has been in care since 2021. Before that there were signs that she had some memory problems. Her personality changed as she forgot to be reserved. She was more joyful and spontaneous as well as flustered. She couldn’t make it to a specific place at a specific time.
She did not willingly go into care and was very angry at my aunt and uncle who took her.
I got to visit her on her birthday in 2021 and she forgot that she was opening her present while taking the tissue paper out of the bag.
Her confusion quickly passed and she was back, in the moment, her personality shining.
I’ve visited each time I’m in New Brunswick. This summer our visit was challenging I think for both of us. She couldn’t form a sentence. There were moments she was so deep in her mind I didn’t recognize her face. And then she would be back. Her sharp wit and quick smile. Gran has the driest sense of humour. We laughed so hard.
She has forgotten so many things. The one thing she hasn’t forgotten is that she wants to go home. Not the house she raised her children in, but her childhood home.
It was where I stayed in 2021.
“Do I know you from Lake Ave?” She is looking for connection and context.
“Yes, I visited you, your sister and your parents quite a bit.”
After this year’s visit my sister and I went through boxes of her things that were gifted to us.
It was an assortment of mismatched dishes, linens and knickknacks.
When I got home I decided I was decorating in defiance of Gran’s dementia.
Five plates of nursery rhyme characters? Front and center in my dining room.
Irish linens still in the box? Heck ya, we sleep on pillowcases the envy of royalty.
Handkerchiefs, napkins, crystal. It’s all being used. I remember the times we used these in Gran’s home. I remember the care she took to keep a house so clean you could eat off the floor. I remember. And these mementos remind me that we all will forget at some point.
