So here’s the thing…
We all know that change can be hard.
Even thinking about making changes can be hard.
Our struggles with change doesn’t mean that we are doing things wrong or that there is something wrong with us.
Thinking that way is like thinking there is something wrong with you if you struggle to lift a 250lb boulder that happens to be in your way.
Sure, some people can easily lift something of that weight and size but most of us will struggle. We’ll need to get help, construct some sort of lever, or change our plans so we can leave it where it is.
But when faced with that boulder, very few people will be hard on themselves for not being able to lift it. No one will be telling themselves that it’s just mind over matter or that they *should* be able to lift it, that they *should* be stronger, or that everyone else can easily lift it.
When faced with a large boulder, most of us recognize that the boulder is the issue, not us.
And recognizing that the boulder is the issue puts us in the right mindset for dealing with it.
If we need to move a boulder, we’ll make a plan, we’ll get some help – we’ll lure physics away from Team Boulder and get it to join Team Us.
What does this boulder analogy have to do with your plans for January and beyond?
Change is a big boulder, my friends, you probably can’t move it with sheer force of will.
When it comes to making changes, creating a plan and recruiting some help will make things a lot easier.
Your plan doesn’t need to be elaborate and it can be flexible. Really, you just need to decide on something you want to try, determine the smallest possible version of that thing that will count as done, decide on a time when you’ll do it, and celebrate when it’s done.
That could look like this:
1) I want to add more push-up to my daily routine.
2) As long as I do 1 extra push-up per day, it counts.
3) I’ll add at least 1 push-up to my warmups for my morning exercise. If I can’t fit it in then, I will do 1 push-up while the kettle boils for my tea.
4) Once my push-up is done, I’ll draw a gold star on my calendar for the day (or add a star emoji to a digital calendar.)
As for recruiting help – that might look like asking someone for advice on push-ups, watching push-up videos, leaving a mat on your floor to make push-ups easier, asking an encouraging friend to inquire if you have done your push-up today, or anything else that makes that new habit seem easier.
And if none of this helps you to do a daily push-up, don’t be hard on yourself.
Instead, remember the boulder.
The problem is not you – it’s the challenge inherent in making changes.
So, instead of being mean to yourself about push-ups, try to find a way to get help with that metaphorical boulder.
Maybe you don’t really want to do push-ups- you can do something else to get the same results.
Maybe the times you’ve picked aren’t good times for push-ups – experiment with other times.
Maybe there’s some discomfort there that you hadn’t really noticed before (Do you dislike getting down on the floor? Does your shoulder hurt when trying to do a push-up? Are you starting with full body floor push-ups when you need to start with wall push-ups?
No matter, keep your focus on the problem – the boulder- instead of on trying to figure out what’s (allegedly!) wrong with you.
You can make the changes you want to make, you can add and subtract things from your routines, but you need the right plan and the right help to do it.
And here’s your gold star for your efforts to figure those things out today.
Go Team Us!
I loved that tip on adding just one more pushup a day. Doing it like that makes it much easier to build up your strength and ability to do more push ups every day, consistently.