Conversations with Gran on nutrition, dementia and euthanasia 

My paternal grandmother, known to me as “Gran” and my kids as “Great Big Gran” (when they were little they thought a great-grandmother was also big, it stuck, names are funny like that), lives in her hometown village in New Brunswick and is my last living grandparent. 

 

Anj, Gran and Grandad around 1985

 I got to spend quite a bit of time with Gran as a kid. She seemed to always need my sister and I to go stay with her for a week over Christmas, March break and summer break. I didn’t realize she was a part of my parents’ childcare strategy, it just felt like a holiday. 

Gran has always been an active person. In her teens she played high school basketball, cross-country skied and loved to walk. 

I looked for pictures of her but they are far and few between, her story is not documented in photos like mine is. 

When she looked after Anj and I walking was exercise, entertainment and how we ran errands to the post office, pharmacy, grocery store and, most importantly, got ice cream. Big heaping scoops of ice cream and lots of desserts. 😀

 

I’m on the left, Anj on the right as we practice racing

 In the winter visits we’d cross-country ski, snowshoe and even go to Mont Farlange to downhill ski. After my grandfather retired and they moved back to McAdam the skiing and snowshoeing were along the perimeter of thier 100 acre wood lot. Our job was to clear the line of limbs and freshen the blaze markings. It was done by hand because gas and a chainsaw were a lot of lugging compared to axes and buck saws. Anj, Gran and I would spend a day trekking as my grandfather cut down trees. 

Gran continues to be in great shape. She shared with me that at some point she was getting stiff, achy and losing mobility. Her doctor suggested stretching as soon as she got up. That was 30 years ago and she still does her twists, stretches and forward bends to touch her toes every morning. She is the kind of person to stick with what works. 

She still gets up early and loves to walk, although now it’s just for 30 minutes instead of the 2 hours she did in her 60s and 70s.

We chat on the phone about once a month and her thoughts turn what her end of life will look like. Her biggest fear has always been to “loose her mind”. We’ve had friends and family with dementia and, given her sharp wit, Gran fears loosing that the most. 

She’s been following the euthanasia debate in Canada. It’s surprising how often we talk about it but she’s seen many people die in many different circumstances. I think the idea of having more control over death is comforting and she hopes the laws will be in place soon. 

Recently Gran received a letter from a former neighbour who is 93. Gran told me how great the penmanship was and how her much older friend always ate meat, not the toast and tea many seniors default too. She’s certain her own weightloss is due to not eating as much as she should, cooking for one seems a bother. 

When I look at Gran I see a woman who has been active her whole life. Her footware of choice are athletic shoes. She dresses in bright colours, a trait we share. I think about how her fitness has served her well, through many challenges, and that sense of vitality still shines through. She bucks the stereotype of the staid little old lady who doesn’t do much and I’m very thankful for that. 

Anj, Dad, me, Grandad and Gran my first year of military college.

About natalieh

I'm a self described fat feminist 42 year old mother of two teenage minions who loves her high energy life partner of over 20 years. I love moving my body and sometimes do yoga, triathlons and dance like a fool. My next measure of success will be being more fierce and less fearful as I roll through my 40s.

4 thoughts on “Conversations with Gran on nutrition, dementia and euthanasia 

  1. DaisyWillows says:

    I’m lucky to have known both my great great grandmas.Who have now passed on. I am lucky to still have both my Gran on my Mom’s side and my Nan on my Dad side alive. Sadly in just over two years Dementia and Alzeihmers pretty stolen nearly everything that I know about my Gran. My Nan on the other hand looks better than most 50/60/70 year olds. She has always been active. She has a better social life than most teenagers and twenty year old somethings. I think the reason that my Nan is so fit is because she has always been someone to take life by the hands and try anything and everything. She has so many friends. I’m not saying my Gran didn’t grab life by the hands but she didn’t push herself to learn new things. Like doing a writing course or going to gym. She was more a person who loved shopping for clothes. Not that that is a bad thing. The people tht fear getting Dementia the most are usually the ones living life to the max and your Gran sounds like she is going to be fine or a long while yet.

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  2. ebay313 says:

    Alzheimer’s runs in my family so there is a lot of discussion the family about possible things that could prevent it. One thing brought up is activity, my grandmother’s older sister has thus far avoided any signs of Alzheimer’s and has always been very active. This conversation gets a bit contentious though. My mom gets mad when people say this, because my grandmother (who had Alzheimer’s) was also very active throughout her life until she started getting ill. My mom feels like the discussion about staying active to avoid Alzheimer’s blames my grandma for getting it, by suggesting she wouldn’t have if only she had been more active. I understand my mom’s point, though I am still always on the look out for any possible way I can try to maybe prevent developing it myself.

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  3. This really hit home to me. Thank you for writing this.

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  4. tok131122 says:

    I love your blogsite, you have certainly covered many subjects and I have thoroughly enjoyed reading about them. This one in particular resonates because I personally want the choice of euthanasia available to me if my quality of life doesn’t exist anymore. I live in Australia and the debate is alive here as well, but the jurors are out. I have worked with people in late stages of dementia and it is heartbreaking. Aging is not an easy transition in life, that old saying ‘ Grow old Gracefully, if only it were that easy. Your Gran looks amazing in these pictures, and certainly looks to be aging gracefully.
    Love your site
    Regards from Annie in Australia 🌞 🌴 🌊

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