Guest Post

The most cerebral sport I’ve ever tried (Guest post)

Photo by ©Jessica Plance
Photo by ©Jessica Plance

Fall brings the start of classes, and for me a welcome return to my favorite university class of all. Not the ones I teach, but the student wellness course I take. In the olden days, students had a couple of required PE classes that consisted mostly of running around the track. The country club atmosphere now means students can meet their wellness requirement by exploring activities from billiards to horseback riding, yoga to rock-climbing. As a faculty member, I can join a student ice skating class with personalized coaching for a negligible fee.

A few years ago I was suffering from hip and knee pain, was diagnosed with arthritis and got sent to physical therapy. There I was forbidden to continue running, at least until the pain and swelling in my knees went down—and possibly forever. When I complained about this sad fate to my child’s preschool teacher, she suggested I take the ice skating class she also teaches, on the theory that it’s a no-impact sport that uses lateral movement to build leg and hip strength. I’m from Texas, where my only exposure to ice was in drinks, so I was an utter beginner at skating. And on my first trips to the rink, I noticed that there were few people over 30 on the ice, and that the skaters who were as old as me had years and years of experience behind them. The few adults skating were clearly the result of a selection process that discouraged the inept. I braced myself for a steep learning curve.

I was a slow learner, but with a patient and encouraging teacher, the process was addictive. I don’t jump or spin (yet), but I’ve gotten good enough that I don’t worry about falling. I can do crossovers and 3-turns, swing rolls and spirals. Lynne Tirell has written about the discipline demanded by ballet, and I’ll cop to becoming obsessed with the school figures that are no longer a compulsory part of competition because TV audiences couldn’t stand the tedium.

Skating is the most cerebral sport I’ve ever tried. If my body is tired, I can still skate; if my mental focus is off, there’s no hope. First, there’s relearning the laws of physics. And then, like dance, there’s keeping track of where all the body parts are in 3-dimensional space. Early on, I thought that if I could just learn to skate forward and backward, I’d be well on my way to mastery. But no—each move has to be learned individually, for inside and outside edges, forward and backward motion, right and left foot. Eventually, I’ll worry about intangibles like grace and creative expression, too. Skating requires—and builds—strength, flexibility, balance, and aerobic fitness. More than those, it’s the cumulative skill set that opens up new ways of moving on the ice. For me, that deep range of skill separates skating from a sport like running. It adds to the challenge and, therefore, the attraction. Learning a new move feels much more like training my brain than training my body.

I’m lucky to have access to a rink and a teacher, which would be expensive if I weren’t working at a university that keeps the ice frozen year-round. The cost of the equipment for skating is not prohibitive, but the cost of access is—as it also can be for swimming, golf, or downhill skiing. And skating fits perfectly into my daily academic schedule, since I can do it on campus, without needing to change or shower.

Learning to ice skate as an adult is rare but worthwhile. It seems different from learning as a child. After years of running and biking and sitting at my desk, skating has revealed poor biomechanics, posture, and strength imbalances. The perception of risk is different, too. My knees feel fragile, and I’m more cautious about falling than my younger class peers. (And the risk is real: every semester, it seems, someone falls, breaks an arm, gets a concussion, is carried off by EMTs.) But at the same time, the speed I can get on ice skating blades and the awareness of risk provide a rush that I can’t get from running or yoga.

The gender dynamic can’t be ignored. For a long time, I was just skating—sometimes on hockey blades and sometimes with figure skates. Hockey skates are faster and more maneuverable; figure skates are more stable but permit greater precision at slow speeds. Only recently have I needed to choose to pursue one style rather than the other. I’m not attracted to playing on teams, so that was the deciding factor. My university has a highly ranked women’s hockey team, but even so, on any given day, the number of men on hockey skates is greater than the number of women, and only rarely does a guy show up wearing figure skates. At the same time, there are guys who don’t play hockey and are devoted to working on tricks and moves that would be best done on figure skates—but they don’t want to be perceived as figure skaters because of the gender overtones. If I had a young daughter who wanted to figure skate, I would have serious reservations about the gender-conformist costumes and moves.

A few years ago I would not have thought that ice-skating would be a sport I would seriously consider. Hockey seemed too aggressive and figure skating too, well, feminine. I didn’t like the thought of taking time for something I was not already somewhat good at. (At least good enough to stay off the ground!) Although good skaters look graceful, I was skeptical that, starting as an adult, I could become that accomplished. As a feminist, I should have known better than to buy into these doubtful presumptions! I enjoy skating, and I enjoy how my body feels because of the skating.

Skating feels like flying. The absence of friction on the ice is freedom from the constraints of  ordinary physics.

©Jessica Plance
©Jessica Plance

Evelyn Brister is an associate professor of philosophy at Rochester Institute of Technology. Her research areas are philosophy of science, social epistemology, and environmental decision-making, and she has recently been working on integrating applied critical thinking throughout the university curricula. A passion for ice has not displaced a passion for trees, so walking in the woods still figures highly in her universe.

fitness

On Taking the Stairs: My 23 story walk-up

I was going to write about Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) for menopause today because I started it a few weeks ago and finally, last night, I had the best night’s sleep I’ve had in years.  The need for a good night’s sleep not interrupted by hot flashes and night sweats is the main reason I opted for HRT after a few years of resistance. But last night’s great sleep may have been over-determined because there was a flood on the 23rd floor of the condo I live in on Saturday night (well, Sunday morning at 1 a.m. if you want to be technical) and I had very little sleep because of all the … excitement.

So I’ll post about HRT on Thursday after I’ve had a slightly longer test run of success (fingers crossed!).  Today I want to post about taking the stairs when you live on the 23rd floor.  You see, since I woke up to the alarm at 1 a.m. on Sunday morning, all three elevators in my building have been toast.

The flood fried the elevator circuits or something like that. (short story of the flood: some “overzealous party-goer,” as the letter from my emergency insurance adjuster describes him, opened the water supply to the fire hose on my floor. The hose wasn’t attached and so it was like opening a fire hydrant. Water just pumped out for about half an hour until the fire department could make it all the way up the stairs to the 23rd floor to shut it off).

I’ve been up and down the stairs a few times since then (four, to be exact) and let me tell you this: 23 floors is a long way up. Apart from scratching our heads as to what the guy who opened the water was thinking and lamenting about the damage (extensive–all the flooring and lower cabinetry in my condo will need to be replaced, and that’s the case for everyone on the 23rd floor, and most people on the 20th to 22nd floor sustained further damage to walls, ceilings, and contents as well as floors, and there is damage that goes down even further than that), the most frequent topic of conversation is how difficult it is to climb so many stairs.

My mother emailed me today and said that, upon reading my latest update, “The fact that had the most impact on me was that you had to climb up and down 20 floors – and I doubt that the stairwells are air conditioned.”  She’s right that they’re not air conditioned, but it’s actually not as hot as you would think it would be, given how unseasonably hot this Labour Day weekend is (32 degrees C today with a heat advisory in effect). But it’s still difficult.

A friend on the 16th floor texted me that their place is fine but after doing the stairs a few times he realizes he’s not in as good shape as he thought he was.

The building manager, who has hardly had any sleep in the past 40 hours, said to me in the lobby that he couldn’t bear the thought of climbing the stairs to his floor (I think he’s on the 10th). He said he thought he was in pretty good shape, “but climbing stairs–that’s a whole different thing.”

The people who work for the restoration company, and there are lots of them, have been hauling heavy equipment up the stairs ever since the flood.  I’ve got four industrial blowers and a dehumidifier set up in my unit and I believe every unit on the 21st to 23rd floors have at least a few, depending on the size of the unit.

I agree with the building manager. I’m in reasonably good physical condition but that walk up 23 floors is tough. I need to stop and rest at least a couple of times. If I have a bottle of water with me, I drink it. Everyone heading up is more than willing to stop and chat for a bit as a time out from the climb. And I’m feeling muscles in my legs that I haven’t felt in years, that feeling as if I just started a new workout at the gym.

I can’t imagine how anyone who has mobility issues or respiratory issues or even is just feeling tired is handling the lack of working elevators. Anyone disabled will be basically stuck until they can get an elevator going. And apparently the dogs (there are quite a few dogs in the building) are struggling a lot too. Stairs are evidently not easy for them.

The trip up the stairs, everyone’s reaction to it, and the discovery of those muscles that my regular routine of running, swimming, and riding my bike to work appears not to be working, have made me think that there are some merits to stair climbing. It’s also made me think that climbing stairs is, indeed, “its own kind of thing.” Maybe it should be added to the mix when we’re thinking of what counts as “fitness.”

The first aerobic machine I ever used regularly was, you guessed it, the Stairmaster. Lots of people have pushed it to the side in favor of elliptical trainers and spin bikes, but some people still sing the praises of the Stairmaster, which is, according to this article, even better than stairs because you never have to climb down, which taxes the knees.

Anyway, I realize that I’m in that post-disaster mode where my world is sort of revolving around the flood. And the idea of blogging about the stair climb came to me on my third long trip up the stairs this evening. I’m hoping that by Thursday’s post (a) the elevators will be back on line and (b) my amazing sleeps continue so that I can confirm that, for me, HRT is working. But it could just be that in the aftermath of the flood I’m just really tired, and that taking the stairs up 23 floors knocks me out in a way that makes me sleep better at night.

athletes · fitness · Guest Post · health

Posting Fitness Activities on Social Media-Radical Act or Just Annoying? (Guest Post)

 As active women, many of us are familiar with being held up as an “Inspiration” by people in various circles, be they close, casual or virtual. There are a lot of ways I do not like being identified as an inspiration. The worst is because I’m thin. That has nothing to do with me or anything I’ve tried to accomplish. It’s just me. Nat has written about being a fat woman who is an “Inspiration” here. Women are told they are inspiring because they’ve lost lots of weight and because they look hot with those triceps (I do love a tight triceps, don’t get me wrong). But much of that kind of inspiring is whether we have met or are on our way to meet the normative beauty standards of our culture. In other words, they are only skin deep.

Just today, however, one of my friends who is a prolific Facebook poster tagged me as part of her “Power Squadron” who inspired her to start walking every day at lunch. It got me thinking about the influence of social connections and social media to inspire us positively to get out and move in the ways that are best for us and our bodies.

As I was mid think, another friend posted a run via her running app. She’s a self-identified feminist and big woman athlete. Running is something recent for her and she’s burning up the pavement by leaps and bounds. She will be running 10k before the end of the year I predict. I was excited for her and I said so. Last sentence of my comment was “Keep going and keep posting about it.” She responded with thanks and we got into a discussion around whether posting these things is good or annoying.

Complicating my contemplation was a recent article about personality traits in Facebook users and qualities of their correspondent Facebook updates:

In line with Hypothesis 7, narcissism was positively associated with updating about achievements and with using Facebook for validation. Moreover, the use of Facebook for validation and for communication predicted the frequency of updating about achievements over and above the control variables and traits (b = .14, p = .02 and b = .13,p = .04, respectively). The association of narcissism with updating about achievements was significantly mediated by the use of Facebook for validation (b = .04, p = .05 (CI: .006–.07)), consistent with narcissists’ tendency to boast in order to gain attention ( Buss & Chiodo, 1991). Also consistent with Hypothesis 7, narcissism was positively associated with updating about diet/exercise, but the use of Facebook for self-expression rather than validation was positively associated with updating about diet/exercise over and above the control variables and traits (b = .24, p < .01). Self-expression mediated the association of narcissism with updating about diet/exercise (b = .03, p = .03 (CI: .003–.04)), suggesting that narcissists may broadcast their diet and exercise routine to express the personal importance they place on physical appearance ( Vazire et al., 2008).

In other words, people who post a lot about achievements and specifically diet/exercise may be more likely to be narcissists. 1

Something about that felt wrong to me or perhaps, something about part of that felt wrong to me. I have been trying, as much as possible for a maybe-narcissist, to resolve what I feel is a positive behaviour that nets positive and valuable results among my friend circle with this idea that it is annoying and self-centred. I came up with a few thoughts.

First of all, women who are self-centred, or think about themselves and their needs at all are often perceived as selfish. So already I’m wondering about the bias here. Second, middle age women who start to walk, run, do endurance sports or generally make themselves physically more formidable may make some other people uncomfortable. Aren’t I supposed to go softly into my middle years, usher my children out of the nest, relinquish my active sexuality and stay quiet? Now obviously I think, “No freaking way”. Many of you think that too but I think we are outliers and that is the point. Finally, the study itself pairs diet/exercise sorts of posts for the purpose of their analysis. I think that’s a fatal flaw. My views on diet posts, calorie counting posts, weight watcher updates and “OMG I’m so FAT!” posts are vastly different than “OMG fastest ever 5k!” posts.

My running friend also eschews the calorie counting elements of posting. We have both researched whether our apps are posting calories and if they are, we try to hide that useless info. I remember when I first started to read this blog and follow some of the people associated with it. They inspired me to keep going, push harder and do more. Even better, they did that with thoughtful commentary and self awareness. They did it for these awesome affirming reasons and if they are secretly narcissists, I don’t care (secretly narcissist would be a perpetual state of oxy-moron anyway). Keep posting people and I’ll keep cheering.

1-Narcissism as a personality trait and the corresponding personality disorder, is associated with an exaggerated positive self-expression that covers over a highly fragmented and worthless sense of self. It is also associated with a profound lack of empathy with others and an inability to see past one’s own need to maintain the false front. It’s not nice. Full disclosure, I’ve contemplated my own Narcissism before here so. . .maybe it’s a thing.

Weekends with Womack

Ushering out Summer, Ushering in… Spring?

Summer is my favorite season. This isn’t front-page news—after all, who doesn’t love long sunny days, warm water to swim in, and all that fresh produce bounty to enjoy? But September is here, school is starting (my university started classes on Wednesday), the nights are cooler, and the light is changing. Sam recently wrote about welcoming fall here.

I love fall, too. Living in New England, I enjoy the vivid colors of the leaves, the crisp mornings and mellow days, and also the shift in sports. I ride my cyclocross bike more in the fall, and also resume playing squash, in preparation for the league play during late fall and winter.

But this year is different. I’m going to miss most of the fall, including attending my favorite cyclocross race  in November in Northampton, Mass with friends, and opening the season with my squash team.

Why? Because I’m going to Australia for a few months. I’m on sabbatical this fall, which is one of the biggest benefits of having an academic job, for which I am continually grateful. I’ll be a visiting scholar here at the University of Sydney and also Flinders University in Adelaide, doing research in public health ethics. I have friends and colleagues there, and am really looking forward to working on several projects.

It’s going to be spring there when I arrive, and I’m staying until summer is almost underway. This is going to be great for doing outdoor activities. I’m taking my road bike with me, and will set about mastering riding on the left side of the road.  I’m also taking some kayaking gear with me, and will be paddling around Sydney, Adelaide, and hopefully also the Great Barrier Reef. And the weather should be great for hiking and rambling about, strolling and riding around my new city, and exploring on day trips and weekends. What a perfect plan.

Except that I’m missing out on fall.

But why should that matter when I have this super-cool opportunity to sneak in an extra spring season with a smidge of summer before returning to winter in North America?

Of course, this is a super-cool opportunity, and I’m aware of and grateful for the privilege of my position. At the same time, it’s worth noting that I’m stepping out of my seasonal rotation, and flinging myself into a different one. It’s a funny feature of modern technological life that we can do this. Just last week I flew to South Carolina for a family reunion, and the fact that I can transport myself from my world in Boston to my family’s world 1000 miles away in a few hours always gives me a little pause. It’s warmer there, with different flora and fauna (especially insects—they practically run the place), and we can swim in my sister’s pool through September. Fall there is a more subtle event—the temperature drop is slower and later to come, and there are fewer fall colors present. The main shift I notice there is that everyone pays attention to high school and college football. A shift in sports focus—both playing and observing—is a clear way to note the change of season.

This is why it seems strange to think about jumping over fall and winter and heading directly to spring. It feels disorienting. At the same time, I’m delighted that I can extend my cycling and kayaking seasons for several more months, and explore these new environments with the luxury of longer days, more sun, and the green of spring to keep me company. Of course I will have to pay when I return in late December, as it will be winter. But I guess I can deal with that when it comes. For now, time to pack the sandals, sundresses, bathing suits and bib shorts…Screen Shot 2015-09-06 at 8.29.46 AM

fitness · Guest Post · Sat with Nat

Bare Feet

I got caught in the rain walking home from work on Thursday. It was a downpour and my shoes were getting squishy so I took them off and walked barefoot from downtown. A few people stared. To me bare feet always feel better than wet, squishy shoes. Growing up in rural New Brunswick we went barefoot for comfort and to reduce wear and tear on shoes and boots. It was a point of pride to be able to walk on chip-seal or gravel without wincing, major butch cred. Bare feet are a part of summer for me but I got thinking during my walk home that being barefoot can be a class loaded thing. Sure, I’ve read lots about barefoot running as a choice like Mallory’s Barefoot Triathlon and To go barefoot or to wear “foot coffins”? but I also thought about being barefoot by circumstance, like not actually having shoes. There’s plenty of signs that indicate one must wear shirts and shoes to get service and yet people are also positioning bare foot athleticism is a bit of a niche thing. some sports, like martial arts and yoga, require practitioners be barefoot, but mostly shirts and shoes are required.

Notice Shirts & Shoes Required

My Mom was raised in the 60s and people actually had to curtail their activities, like missing school, for lack of shoes. Compared to Mallory’s accounts of New Zealand where plenty of folks go barefoot all the time, it’s interesting to see that patrolling of footwear here in Canada. Today you can get something to put on your feet for a dollar. I also pay $120 for running shoes for each member of my family twice a year. WOW. That’s a lot of money for some mesh and a bit of foam. It makes me be quite stingy, to the point that most of my footwear have been given to me by friends (Thanks Wes & Kate!). I do occasionally covet a designer shoe or two but mostly shoes are there to get me where I want to go and nothing more.

I totally sneak in bare foot time at work, walking home, gardening and I never wear stuff on my feet at home. I have sweaty feet but, more than that, bare feet help me feel balanced and connected.

What’s your experience around being bare foot? A fun choice? Recalling tougher times? I’d like to hear your thoughts 🙂

Aikido · athletes · body image · bras · Guest Post · health · martial arts

Why I’m happy about having a double mastectomy without reconstruction (Guest post)

woman's chest with healing words

I have breast cancer in my right breast, and in a week I’m undergoing a double mastectomy without reconstruction. I couldn’t be happier. Here’s why.

For many woman dealing with breast cancer, the thought of losing one or both breasts is terrifying. Often our sense of femininity, attractiveness and sexuality is tied up in having breasts, and we don’t want to imagine life without them.

A few weeks before I found a lump in my right breast, I came across this article from the Wall Street Journal, which reported on what doctors are calling an alarming trend of women choosing to have both breasts removed after being diagnosed with cancer in one breast (dubbed the “Angelina Effect” after actor Angelina Jolie, who had a highly publicized double mastectomy in 2013 after discovering she carried a genetic mutation that increased her odds of developing breast cancer to 85%). Only a tiny fraction of breast cancer patients carry a genetic mutation for breast cancer, and with survival rates for lumpectomy-with-radiation matching those for mastectomy, there is a concern that women are undergoing drastic surgeries for no good medical reason.

I found the article interesting, but I also knew without a doubt that if I were ever diagnosed with breast cancer, I would want both breasts removed. (It just so happens that, according to the article, I fit the demographic that is most often making this choice: educated, middle-class white women.)

Little did I know, however, that sh!t was about to get real.

Two or three days before I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I watched the Netflix documentary Tig, about American comedian Tig Notaro. The documentary details her life in the year following her own breast cancer diagnosis.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eO7kJ0j4Qzw&w=560&h=315%5D

Tig had cancer in both breasts, and a double mastectomy. She’s a small, slim lesbian with a boyish style, and as I watched the film I found myself envying her breastlessness. Knowing there was a possibility that I might have cancer myself, I thought about how great it would be to not have breasts anymore.

It was then that I decided that if my own breast biopsy came back positive, I would not only ask for a double mastectomy, but I would also forgo reconstruction (implanting artificial breasts in my chest). My biggest worry was that they would recommend a lumpectomy to try and preserve my right breast, which I didn’t want – or that they wouldn’t allow me to have a double mastectomy, leaving me stuck with one large breast and nothing on the other side.

I’ll be totally honest here: I’ve never really liked having breasts.

I’m a cis-gendered, heterosexual woman who loves being a woman, and enjoys being considered attractive and desirable… but for as long as I’ve had breasts, they’ve been really large. At age 12, they were 36C’s. A few months ago, before I started losing weight (on purpose, not due to my cancer), they were 36G’s. Do you know how hard it is to find bras that size? For years I’ve crammed my girls into 36D’s, with spillover at the top and sides that would make a bra fitter weep. The one time I did get a proper bra fitting, the store didn’t have any bras in stock in my size. Frustrating.

I became a teenager in 1980, when the ideal body in North America was Brooke Shields in a pair of Calvin Klein jeans. Shields was 15 at the time, and had a figure like a boy. Slim hips, flat chest. My 13-year-old-self felt like a freak by comparison, with rounded hips and full breasts.

This post isn’t about body bashing – as an adult woman I eventually learned to love and appreciate my curves – but about recognizing that I was living in a body that didn’t match the cultural ideal, and moreover felt limiting to me.

I danced a lot as a teenager – my high school even offered proper dance classes as an alternative to Phys. Ed. – and my large breasts needed extra support for all that leaping around. By university, when I took daily fitness classes at the university community centre and was trying to become a jogger, I resorted to wearing two bras at a time when I worked out, in order to keep my breasts from bouncing too much.

(This blog has published all sorts of posts about the challenge of finding good sports bras, here.)

Big breasts were a barrier to many of the physical activities I enjoyed. I was a lifeguard in my teens and early 20s, at a time when shelf bras in women’s Speedos were unheard of. I longed for small breasts that didn’t jiggle and bounce when I walked around the pool deck.

As I’ve aged, my breasts have headed south towards my waist, and actually ache when they aren’t bound by a bra, especially at night when I’m lying down and trying to sleep.

When I started aikido a year-and-a-half ago, I had to experiment with a number of bra configurations so that I could run without bouncing (we’re expected to move quickly when called upon in class), as well as roll and flip upside down without popping out the top of my bra.

I currently wear two bras at aikido – an underwire bra underneath, that separates my breasts and prevents “uni-boob”, along with an inexpensive, too-small sports bra on top, to keep everything motionless when I run on the mat, and safely contained when I flip upside down. (I’ve noticed with a thrill of recognition that Ronda Rousey and other female MMA fighters use a similar configuration when they’re working out and fighting.)

So when I met with my surgeon after my diagnosis, my only worry was about whether she would entertain my double-mastectomy wishes. In the end, a double mastectomy actually makes medical sense for me. Turns out lumpectomy is not a medically recommended option for my cancer. Thankfully my left breast is currently clear, but the cancer in my right breast is such an unusual presentation (with a possible genetic mutation like Angelina Jolie’s, which I’ll be tested for later this year) that my surgeon tells me I’m at higher risk of getting cancer in my left breast. This makes preventive mastectomy of my left breast a sensible choice. If I wanted to keep my left breast, I’d be facing annual MRIs and the increased worry of a recurrence for the rest of my life.

I don’t have a partner to consider. I’m at an age where breastfeeding is not in my future. And while I love being a woman, I’m not afraid to look boyish. I’ve had 36 years of being voluptuous, and an eye-magnet for men and women who like large breasts. I’m ready for freedom from that kind of gaze and attention, and freedom to move my body the way I want to move my body. I anticipate “living flat” for the rest of my life, and likely going without prosthetics, too.

One of the benefits of forgoing reconstructive surgery is that my recovery should be much faster than if I’d chosen reconstruction at the time of mastectomy. I’m looking forward to getting back to my regular life as soon as humanly possible.

My only hesitation is that I feel guilty for not wanting my breasts anymore. I feel like I’m betraying a part of myself. So I’ve been spending a lot of time during my breasts’ final days trying to celebrate them. I’ve also been preparing myself for the huge visual change there will soon be in my figure whenever I look in the mirror. While my femininity isn’t tied to my breasts, I recognize that it may be for others. So I’m making plans to cut and colour my hair in a “pretty” style, and wear clothes and jewelry after surgery that make me feel and look feminine.

But honestly? I’m so excited about my upcoming breast removal. And the interesting thing is, whenever I’ve talked about it with other naturally large-breasted women, they totally get it, and tell me they would make the same choice.

This is the second of a three-part series on breast cancer, sports and body image.
Part 1: What martial arts taught me about fighting breast cancer
Part 3: My pre-surgery boudoir photo shoot

___

You may also be interested in these blog posts by Michelle about her breast cancer experience:

Michelle Lynne Goodfellow works in nonprofit and small business communications by day, and also enjoys writing, taking photographs, making art and doing aikido. You can find more of her work at michellelynnegoodfellow.com. Michelle has also written about her breast cancer journey on her blog, Kitchen Sink Wisdom.

Guest Post · yoga

Old School (Guest Post)

I have never considered myself to be traditional or a purist, but I love Ashtanga yoga. Yoga is one of the oldest regimes for exercise and Ashtanga is perhaps the most traditional form that remains popular. Yes, there is an app!

Ashtanga practice follows a set series of postures, practiced in a definite order, according to set breath counts; the same series each time. While there are six series in total, not many people practice beyond the primary series, and a lot like me are happy completing about half the primary series, which takes approximately an hour and fifteen minutes.

The regimented nature of Ashtanga appeals to me because it enhances certain aspects of yoga that I value. First of all, practicing the same series repeatedly builds strength in those particular postures (“asanas”). Yoga strength is the ultimate in “functional strength” because the physical practice explores and expands the body’s range of motion, and builds strength across that range. Screw ab crunches — yoga is way more fun and effective. Seriously, everyone is doing plank now. [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1w-uD-uPCBQ&w=560&h=315%5D However, progress can be hard to track and yogis advise we measure it in millimetres and years — patience can be part of what one learns. Progress is easier to experience in Ashtanga because the postures don’t vary from one practice to the next. Each time — though probably not every time, I can experience a little improvement, and that’s encouraging.

Breathing is central to yoga too. It helps to maintain focus, sometimes using specialized techniques, and keeps one’s attention in the body which helps prevent injury. In Ashtanga, breathing determines the length and pace of postures, which I found fosters the type of serenity that yoga famously promises.

Breath leads most strongly and serenity follows most readily, for me, in the most traditional — even – of Ashtanga teaching formats, named after the historical centre of Ashtanga style, Mysore, India. Mysore style classes are like open houses: one arrives and begins when one likes, so long as there is enough time for practice during the designated period. People practice alongside each other, but at different points in the series, and at different paces depending largely on their breath, coached individually by the instructor who moves from person to person as needed. Marking time by one’s own breath for over an hour creates an incredible sense of grounding and peace.

I most enjoy learning in the Mysore style, as I first did. At my very first lesson, I was guided through five Suryamaskara or “sun salutations” in version A and sent home. Next time, I did the same plus five in the longer version B, and then I was sent home. Each time a new piece was added to the series, but only so long as I practiced three times per week. Otherwise, I remained where I’d been. Led classes can be part of Ashtanga too, and they can be fun, but I really like Mysore practice, and I follow the rule of not going past Marichyasana D, because I can’t bind my hands in it.

So I’m more a traditionalist than I ever imagined! I was aghast when I visited an Ashtanga studio in another city to find them violating some of the rules. Everyone had blocks and straps – common in other styles but virtually banned in my Ashtanga experience. I did a triple take. Was I in the right place? Sure, for an introductory class, props can help, I thought… but for everyone?! And then I noticed water bottles! WATER BOTTLES! They are contrary to the Ashtanga principle of building up internal heat. That’s not my favourite aspect of the practice. I don’t buy the line about detoxification: sweating is good for the body and one way we excrete, but I sweat plenty, thanks. Still, the rule is clear, and I hydrate thoroughly the rest of the day.

That class class experience reminded me how at eighteen and I was shocked attending Easter service in a “high Anglican” church that people lined up to kiss the crucifix. To me that was sacrilegious idol worship. Apparently, Ashtanga is my new orthodoxy.

For that class, I got a strap and blocks like everyone else, but I felt like a cheater the whole time. When I told my instructor at home about the water, she gasped in astonishment! I still feel like I’m getting away with something when I succumb to temptation (in a led class) and try a posture from the latter half of the series. I may get over that, but for now the orthodoxy suits me, and that’s what matters.

cycling

Crossing into the fall on my new bike

We buy a lot of new bikes around this blog. I think I’ve documented most of the purchases here. And I might be a particularly good/bad person for accumulating bikes of many kinds. Just this past Christimas I got a new Cannondale road bike, a 2013 Cannondale Super Six Evo Ultegra Di2.

It’s certainly true that I write quite a bit about bikes and new bike lust. See New bike lust and How many bikes is too many? and My dream fleet.

I seem to attract bikes. This year I even won a bike thanks to the university’s green raffle that gave you one entry form each time you used your own coffee mug. Unbeknownst to me I had a friend (thanks Rob!) putting my name on his ballots every day. But I really didn’t need a another commuting bike so I gave that one to a neighbourhood friend whose bike had been stolen.

But now I have a new cyclocross bike! It’s also a Cannondale, a 2014 SuperX black Inc, with Stans Iron Cross wheels. How did that happen? Well, I’ve owned a cx bike for commuting for a few years and I really like it. I’ve also been watching friends do some fun looking gravel rides and thinking it would be fun to ride through the fall and into the early winter.

As blog readers mostly know, I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer this year and had surgery to remove my thyroid. Everything went well and I’m fine (no further treatment required) but it turned out I was eligible for an insurance payment for getting ill. You know the policies that sound like “death, dismemberment, and disability.” I didn’t need the money–thanks Canadian health care– and I didn’t want to claim it. I was nervous that it felt like calling in sick when you’re actually fine. (I always worry that if I do that I’ll actually get sick.) My partner is more practical. He works for a bank. And he’s good at talking me into things. “Would you claim it if you got a new cx bike with the money?” Um, yes, I might. And we did. And I have a new bike. Thanks thyroid cancer? I guess.

image

I’ve registered for my first event, Hallocross, a Halloween cyclocross race, of course. So I guess I better learn to ride it. I’ve got some friends who are taking me out Thursday to give it a go. I’ll report back for sure.

These days I’m reading things like this: Cyclocross 101 for Newbies and How to Bunny Hop Like a Boss.

What’s the difference between a cyclocross bike and a road bike? You can read a bit about that here.

Do you ride a cyclocross bike? Do you do any cx racing? Got any advice for a beginner with lots of road and some track riding experience?

The women of cyclocross

Gravel racing

fitness

On Ditching the Scale AGAIN!

Way, way back in January 2013 I set aside my scale. It was an exhilarating blog moment! The freedom! The subversiveness of it all!

I fended off worried comments from others about where it might lead. I drove out the thoughts that said not weighing myself meant I would gain weight. I resisted the temptation to step on the scale after 3, 6, 9 months, even a full year, just to ‘see’ if I should be worried.

And then I started Precision Nutrition’s Lean Eating program. And besides the monthly photos they had weekly measurements that included, you guessed it, a weight measurement.

At first I thought I could handle it. That weekly weighing wouldn’t make me feel like crap. Or even that it wouldn’t make me feel better. My hope at the time was that my year of not weighing myself might have helped me feel neutral about weight as a measure of anything. And for awhile it did. Maybe even for the duration of the program.

But now? Now! Ugh! As the number on the scale began to creep up again this summer, so did the usual obsessions. I won’t go into detail because petite women who hate their bodies and think they’re fat are tiresome. I know. But oh how awful it’s all become again.

So three weeks ago I packed it up and swore off it yet again. It’s not just that I feel horrible about gaining a bit of weight. I’ve done that many times before and survived it.  It’s that I feel horrible about caring. It’s against everything I believe in to think that the scale tells me anything about who I am and what I’m about. And yet I have allowed the old bullshit to creep back into my head.

It’s become so loud that when I went shopping with a friend in Chicago a few weeks ago I consistently tried on clothes that were 2 sizes too big for me and when they didn’t fit properly I thought the clothing manufacturers were purposely putting smaller numbers on larger clothes (there is actually some evidence that this has happened over time). I felt convinced that the sizing was off and I didn’t actually take the smaller sizes I ended up having to try on if I liked something.

So the scale must go. What useful info did I ever think I’d get from it anyway? What’s wrong with going by how I feel, what I’m doing, whether I’m getting faster and stronger? Or sleeping enough? Or eating in a way that nourishes me and feels good?

And in any case the last time I ditched the scale I lived happier and didn’t gain any weight. Didn’t lose either but I spared myself the daily r weekly judgment about how ‘things’ were going.

No thanks. It’s time to say good-bye to my scale again. And hello to taking care of myself in ways that make me feel good. Feel free to join me. Chances are that for at least some of you out there the scale is doing you no good either.