Category: injury

Outdoor photo of a dog skidding the ground Christine’s Current Conundrums
ADHD · health · injury · rest

Christine’s Current Conundrums

Christine Hennebury2 Comments

Conundrum #1

As I work towards healing the muscles in my back, neck, and shoulders, I need to do a certain amount of movement to keep the circulation up, to create ease, and to maintain mobility but I can’t do too much or I will end up hurting myself and have a setback. 

How can I tell if I am doing enough or doing too much?

It’s a conundrum – there’s actually no way to tell, it’s something that everyone has to kind of figure out for themselves.

I hate that for me because I really have NO IDEA how hard I am working at any given time – even when I am not injured – so I can’t compare how I am moving now to how I moved last time (even if ‘last time’ was 5 minutes ago.)  

I’m sure you can see how that makes it very challenging to take a ‘do what you can, evaluate, then make adjustments next time’ approach for this healing process. 

I know a lot of people with ADHD mention having issues with this sort of thing – a lack of perception regarding our efforts – so it seems to be one of those challenges that everyone has but is often exacerbated by ADHD. 

The whole ‘how much is enough/how much is too much’ is really an unanswerable question loop so I’m really just going to hope for the best. 

Conundrum #2

I woke up on Sunday morning with the sort of panicky thoughts that usually only show up when I am having the sort of migraine that doesn’t involve any actual headache. I thought that was odd until I sat up, my stomach turned and I realized that I *was* having a migraine. 

I took a migraine pill, slept for another few hours, and then felt pretty ok until about 9pm on Sunday night when I suddenly stressed myself out about something and my stomach turned again.  Next thing, I was lying in bed with my migraine hat on , listening to cello music , putting an ice cube in my mouth, holding a hot water bottle to my stomach, and trying to find some ease.

Did I actually have the same migraine all day but the meds in the morning put it in the background? Or did getting stressed out bring on a new migraine? Or did a pre-existing migraine make me more vulnerable to getting suddenly stressed out and the stress just brought the symptoms to the foreground again? 

Is there even any point in asking myself these questions?

Since I haven’t ever been able to reliably predict my migraines there’s probably no point in going through the thought-loop but it would take a lot of energy to stop myself so I might as well travel the loop until it burns itself out.

Conundrum #3

After my Sunday night migraine,  my Monday self felt pretty lousy but I also had a bunch of tasks that I needed to do.

If I had felt any worse, I would have just taken to my bed like a Victorian lady and called it a day but I wasn’t that kind of sick. It was a ‘take it easy’ day, not a ‘grind to a halt’ day so, basically, I was in the same kind of loop as the ‘enough/too much’ question above except with work and rest.

Rest is important, obviously,  but my day wouldn’t be very restful if I couldn’t put those tasks out of my head, especially since I knew people would be checking in with me about them. (I never want to risk getting extra email.)

The best answer would be to identify the most important tasks and work on those but that brings me to a different challenge: 

Prioritization is extremely difficult for me under the best of circumstances and a day in which I am very tired and recovering from a migraine was not the best of circumstances – especially since my ADHD meds are less effective when I haven’t slept well. 

And if my meds are less effective, it not only affects my ability to prioritize, it also affects my ability to concentrate on my work so I am going to be slower and less focused.

So, I basically spent a good chunk of Monday putting a lot of mental effort into my attempts to prioritize/cut back on my work for the day so I could rest. 

Conundrum #4

As I got towards the end of my day, I discovered another conundrum:

Am I too tired/out of sorts to take Khalee for a walk or will taking Khalee for a walk actually make me feel better?

Luckily, I quickly figured out the correct answer for that one:

And about 5 minutes after we got home, it started to hail (just a little, but still!) so I was really glad that my ‘Will a walk help?’ loop was far shorter than the others. 

Conundrum #5

My final loop of the day was ‘Do I feel up to writing a post for the blog? What am I going to write about? Should I write about this loopy day? Will anyone want to read about that? Am I just being self-indulgent and whiny?’

And maybe I am being self-indulgent and whiny but I also know that I often feel better when I read posts like this. When other people write posts like this they always remind me that I am not alone in my frustrations, and thought loops, and in my efforts to make my way out of ordinary, fairly low-stakes conundrums. 

So perhaps today is my turn to do that for you.

It’s ok to get caught in conundrums – thought loops happen to everyone.

It’s ok to struggle to balance things and lots of us find it hard to figure out how to rest. 

There’s nothing wrong with you if it feels like AllOfTheThings are in your way today. 

Please be kind to yourself as you make your way along.

ADHD · fitness · health · injury

A frustrating mystery solved (I think)

Christine Hennebury5 Comments

Grab a cup of tea and a snack, this post will be long.

I’m sure I’ve mentioned it here and there on the blog but I’ve been having extra trouble doing things for a while now.

Everything has been just a little harder. I’ve struggled to start things, I’ve struggled to finish things and there have been some tasks that just felt impossible – tasks that would normally be well within my capacity.

Unfortunately, because of the stress of the past few years and because of how ADHD categories things for me, I didn’t realize how much this was happening.

I’ve been struggling with exercise, including Taekwon-do. I’ve been struggling with writing projects and other creative activities. And I have had trouble summoning the energy to do good planning for a lot of different areas of my life.

I had put this all down to various kinds of stress, ambient stress, grief, and the kind of work-juggling stress that comes from a combination of ADHD and having taken on a few too many projects.

Oh, and, of course, the kind of stress that comes from feeling like you have been making too many excuses about too many things for far too long (even though there have been SO MANY OBSTACLES one after the other.)

Recently, though, I have discovered that there may be an underlying cause contributing to my frustrations over the past six months.

I tried to write a post about it several times in the past week, but I couldn’t pull my thoughts together the way I needed to.

So yesterday, on World Creativity and Innovation Day I decided to take a different approach and I made a zine instead.

I actually thought doing a zine would be quicker but as I wrote page 20, I realized that there was no way to make this story short.

I have photos of each page of my zine below and I’ll put a image description with each one, but if that’s all too long to read scroll way down to the bottom and I’ll put a summary of the whole thing.

Got your tea?

Let’s go!

a photo of a zine page
A photo of the cover of a black-and-white zine called Well This Is Frustrating – a scene about an unexpected answer to a mystery by Christine Hennebury
a photo of a zine page
A photo of a black-and-white page with the following text “When you have muscle pain and stress and anxiety and brain fog and extra migraines and low energy and it keeps getting harder and harder to start stuff and to keep doing stuff or to even think about starting or doing stuff” Some of these words have been sort of illustrated. The word brain is huge. The word fog is made in sort of wiggly letters that kind of look like fog and next to extra migraines there is a picture of a person’s head in a vise. There was a black arrow after the word stuff.
a photo of a zine page
A photo of a black-and-white page with a drawing of a confused looking robot next to text that reads “it can be really tricky to figure out why?”  Why is written in block letters and running vertically on the page instead of horizontally.
a photo of a zine page
A photo of a black-and-white page that features a pill bottle with eyes and a frown, and the word Concerta printed across its middle and it has its little arms crossed. A speech balloon next to it says This isn’t my fault. The text on the page reads “First I wondered ‘Are my ADHD meds failing me?’ That would explain the stress and anxiety and brain fog and the low energy and the trouble getting started…”
a photo of a zine page
A photo of a black-and-white page that reads: “but it doesn’t explain why a few minutes of exercise feels like an hour. And it doesn’t explain the muscle pain, especially in my neck and shoulders, and usually my ADHD fights me on getting started, it doesn’t usually prevent me from carrying on, so maybe it’s…” in brackets at the bottom of the page more text reads “I’m 52. Can you guess what is on the next page?”
a photo of a zine page
A photo of a black-and-white page that reads “perimenopause” in big letters and right underneath it says “or even full on menopause?” On the bottom left is a black-and-white witch’s cauldron with bubbles and steam rising from it, and the cauldron is labeled “(peri)menopause may contain brain fog, anxiety, muscle aches, mood issues, low energy, and more!” Next to the caldron is text that reads “I thought: OK maybe but it doesn’t exactly fit. It doesn’t feel quite right.”
a photo of a zine page
Black-and-white text that reads “You know what? The worst of it wasn’t even the symptoms. It was how I had been gradually (and unbeknownst to me) narrowing my life to deal with them.” At the bottom of the page are four speech balloons: 1st speech balloon says – I don’t want to write about that. It takes too much energy. 2nd speech balloon says – Maybe I’ll feel up to that next week. 3rd speech balloon – OK Khalee, maybe we’ll take a shorter walk today. 4th speech balloon – I don’t know if I’ll go. I feel tired just thinking about it.
a photo of a zine page
A photo of a black-and-white page with text reading: “I adjusted my meds. I got lots of rest. I reduced my stress as much as possible. I tried taking teeny steps toward more exercise, but still, I found myself here”  There’s an arrow from the word here that is pointing to a drawing of the top of a person‘s head underneath a stack of boxes that read 1) I just cannot  2) task initiation issues 3) lack of motivation 4)  fatigue 5) muscle aches 6) nope 7)  brain fog. The person is saying ‘Glerg’ to all of this.
a photo of a zine page
A photo of a black-and-white page that reads “and this all seems like part and parcel of the same big problem from this perspective. But when it was developing, and when I was living it, it kind of snuck up on me. Each piece seemed like a separate issue.” The word big is written in much larger and darker text. And the word separate has each letter in a box sort of like scrabble tiles laid next to each other.
a photo of a zine page
A photo of a black-and-white page that reads “I talked to my doctor about some of it, and I did some research on my own about other stuff and I kept meaning to call my chiropractor, but I kept forgetting.” The word Dr is wearing a stethoscope. There is a picture of a computer and some books next to the research sentence, and at the bottom of the page is a drawing of a person with their face enveloped in a cloud that says brain fog and there’s a speech balloon that says “what was I going to do?”
a photo of a zine page
A photo of a black-and-white page that reads  “But then an idea arrived from an unexpected source. Last time I was at the hairdresser, she mentioned that my scalp was hard as a rock. I said.  ‘Must be stress, I guess’ but it made me think if my scalp is so tight, what else is not working right?” And in brackets at the bottom, it says “good question hey?”  On the upper left on the page there’s a very rough drawing of a hairdresser washing someone’s hair and there’s a note beneath that says “Please note that Hillary is not a ragamuffin. I don’t have the skills to draw her well.”
a photo of a zine page
A photo of a black-and-white page that says “and then I started having trouble with my neck. A knot on the right side kept recurring so I called a massage therapist. I mean, this was a specific issue that could be treated in a specific way. This was what is known in the field as a good idea.” In the middle of this page is a small drawing of a person‘s chin, mouth, and neck and there’s a large black spot on the right side of the neck.  Notes next to the picture read “a reasonable hand-drawn facsimile”, and “in real life, I have hair and features.” At the bottom right of the page next to the word good idea is a light bulb.
a photo of a zine page
A photo of a black-and-white page that says, “and it was a good idea. During my massage, Renee said something like “You know, you have the tightest neck. One of the tightest I’ve ever massaged.  My other clients with this tight of a neck have a constant headache.” At the bottom of the page in darker letters is text reading “Wait! Could a tight neck be part of the big problem?”
a photo of a zine page
A photo of a black-and-white page with dark text that reads: “I asked her some questions and then did some research about the checklist of things she mentioned.” In the middle of the page (enclosed in a box) is a checklist that reads “tight neck, tight shoulders, ribs tight enough to restrict breathing, tight jaw” and each item is checked off. Beneath the checklist is text reading “and yep! All of those things can add up to brain fog, fatigue, mood issues, lack of motivation, low energy and increased migraine/headaches/muscle aches…”
a photo of a zine page
A photo of a black-and-white page with large text at the top that reads “Maybe it’s ADHD….Maybe it’s menopause…Or maybe it’s neck and back related?” Smaller text below reads “That certainly would explain a lot. Sure, ADHD. perimenopause, and stress could be doing their part but maybe, just maybe, the underlying issue was more directly treatable? I love this for me. I mean it’s still a challenge, but it’s way more straightforward.”

a photo of a zine page
A photo of a black-and-white page with large takes to the top that says “But wait! There’s more!” And then smaller text reads. “I was telling all this to my friend Cathy via text when she asked a key question.” In a Speech balloon is the text “So it’s all due to stress? You didn’t have an injury did you?” In larger text it reads “I went to say all stress and then I remembered one afternoon last October…”
a photo of a zine page
A photo of a black and white zine page with text reading: “I was lying in my circle swing in the backyard when CRACK the branch it was hanging on broke and down came baby (Me!) cradle (i.e. swing) and all. The branch landed on my hands and I landed on the ground.” The word crack is printed in big letters and there’s a crack running through each one – a little space between the top and the bottom of each letter. At the bottom of the page is a very rough drawing of what supposed to be a circle swing on the ground with me lying on it, holding a branch aloft.
a photo of a zine page
A black-and-white photo of text reading “I was shocked and I hurt, but not ‘specific injury’ and not ‘something’s broken’ hurt. It was more of a jangled nerves and ‘I feel jammed together’ situation. I checked for symptoms of concussion, but you know what I did didn’t check for?”
a photo of a zine page
A photo of a black-and-white page with a whip drawn at the top and the word WHIPLASH in large black letters. Smaller text reads “Now, I haven’t seen my doctor yet but can you guess what happens when you don’t treat whiplash right away? Yep, brain fog, breathing issues, muscle pain, anxiety, mood issues, low energy, motivation, troubles, headaches.” Text in brackets at the bottom reads: “You get the idea.”
a photo of a zine page
A photo of a black-and-white page that reads “And you know what else happened a while ago? I fell on the steps and kind of caught myself. So I definitely added to the whiplash or whatever happened as the result of my fall.” Larger text at the bottom reads “And the effects of those two unpleasant but largely unremarkable incidents have been compounding for months.” Note: The words “I fell on the steps” are written as if they are a set of steps with a landing in the center.
a photo of a zine page
A photo of a black-and-white zine page with text reading “All of the yoga, all of the stretching, all of the bits and pieces of exercises? I couldn’t actually make progress with them, couldn’t get them to a new level. All of that effort was actually going towards keeping things from getting worse.” The word progress and the word level are written larger than everything else on the page for emphasis.
a photo of a zine page
A photo of a black-and-white page with text reading “And I had no idea. Yes, I knew about my frustration. I knew about my symptoms, but I couldn’t see the big picture.” The word frustration and the word symptoms are both written larger than the surrounding text and the words big picture are written very large and much darker than the other text and they’re surrounded by a rectangle almost like a picture frame.
a photo of a zine page
A photo of black-and-white text that reads “I didn’t realize that I had been limiting myself avoiding things that aggravated my injuries. I noticed that I ‘wasn’t trying hard enough’ and I was fighting the urge to be critical of myself about it.” All of that text is in large black letters, not capitals, but with emphasis. At the bottom of the page there is some text in lighter strokes that is in brackets and it reads” ‘You aren’t trying hard enough’ was my unmedicated brain’s favourite refrain. It still hurts to think it.”
a photo of a zine page
A photo of black-and-white text that reads: “And now I’m realizing that there was an underlying issue, something causing all the symptoms, something preventing me from trying hard enough. It reminds me of when I first found out I have ADHD I feel both sad (for the lost time) and hopeful for the future, but I have a question that haunts me.
a photo of a zine page
A photo of black-and-white text that is all in dark, emphasized letters: “What would’ve happened to me, to my life, to my ability to do the things I like doing, if I hadn’t figured this out?”

So, yeah, that’s where I am right now – trying to be kind to myself, trying not to aggravate my injury further, trying to stretch and rest, and working with my massage therapist (yay, Renee!) to help my neck, shoulders, and upper body figure out how to relax again.

Summary: After months of having a rough time with my physical and mental health, a visit to a massage therapist helped me realize that I may have injured myself more than I realized when I fell in October and then fell again back in January. I may have been dealing with untreated whiplash that has just been compounding over time. Whether or not it’s whiplash, I have been dealing with ongoing neck, shoulder, upper back and rib issues that have actually been physically preventing me from operating in my usual way and at my usual capacity. And I feel rather sad and frustrated about how long it took me to figure out what was going on.

A graphic of three yellow minions with the words work together as a team. Back to basics, again: joining an exercise accountability group
fitness · injury

Back to basics, again: joining an exercise accountability group

catherine w1 Comment

Last week was not good– not in the life of the world, nor my nation, nor me, for that matter. Leaving aside the first two for the moment, I had noticed some pain and buckling of my left knee while walking. The pain was a lot-a-lot worse after driving or otherwise sitting for a good while.

On Tuesday, as I got out of my car, having driven 70 minutes from work to my polling place, I could hardly walk without pain. An extremely nice woman with a seven-year-old child offered to help me walk inside to vote. At first, I demurred, thinking I could do it. But then I took her up on her offer, putting my arm around her shoulder. Together we made it inside, and both carried out our civic duties. Thank you so much, fellow Belmont voter!

Once I got started walking, I could find a way to walk without pain. But it required some experimentation and no twisting of my left knee. Clearly, I’ve got some problem or other (my guess: IT band problems, which I’ve had before). Sigh. This means seeing my doctor and getting a referral to physical therapy. Sigh again.

Honestly, I don’t mind PT. The physical therapists at the practice I go to are very knowledgeable and encouraging, and I enjoy the exercises. However, for me it’s a challenge to schedule and maintain a regimen of at-home exercises in between sessions.

Enter my serendipitous new exercise accountability group.

It just so happens that a friend, who’s in physical therapy now, texted a few folks to ask if anyone was willing to be an exercise accountability partner for her. The response was immediate and impressive.

I can do that!
I can do that!
Don't stress cos I'll help you
Don’t stress cos I’ll help you
I got this!
I got this!

Isn’t that lovely? I thought so, too. Not only that, but everyone in the text thread added that they could use some help with either their PT exercises (in every life, injuries do happen) or their strength training, or their at-home workouts.

Enter the exercise accountability group, newest edition. Yes, I know, accountability partners and groups are no news to anyone. BUT, in my experience, their theoretical goodness often exceeds their practical efficacy. To be fair, I am often the weak link in the accountability n-tuple, as consistency and follow-through over time are probably my main hobgoblins. That helps explain why, after being set free from PT, newly fixed up and ready to function and maintain on my own, I tend to let daily exercises lapse. Sigh.

But hey, hope springs eternal. And this newest exercise accountability group is getting underway now– today! The first person posted about their plans for the week, and we will all follow suit. Then, we check in with the group as we do the things we planned. I like it– simple yet powerful.

Yeah, I know– what if someone doesn’t post on Sunday? Or doesn’t check in during the week to say what they’ve done? Do we ask them? Encourage them? Put together an online tote board to add up number of workouts or workout time each week? Should we give gift cards to the ones who stick most closely to their proposed plans?

This woman has no idea, and neither do I. I guess we’ll work it out as we go.

There are some really nice features of being part of an accountability group:

  • I’m not alone–there are others going through similar processes.
  • I can rely on them for encouragement and support.
  • I can, uh, well, maybe ask for help if I need it?

But I’m also aware of the potential downsides (for me) of opening myself up to an accountability group:

  • I’m under pressure to make a doable plan and then execute that plan (both hard things for me).
  • When I invariably miss some part of that plan, I will have to reveal that information to the group.
  • I will have feelings about those revelations, which are not pleasant.

Again, all this is no news to anyone. Many of us feel vulnerable about consistency and follow-through of exercise plans. And speaking for myself, I often feel shame about not being more active, more self-caring, more organized in carrying out my (often very grand) plans for self-improvement.

But maybe, just maybe, an accountability group can actually help with those unpleasant feelings. That is, we/I don’t have to be alone when we/I didn’t get around to doing a planned at-home PT session. We/I can message the group, who will:

  • sympathize with us
  • share their own challenges with maintaining their plans
  • encourage us to get back to it or alter our plan in light of whatever came up, or take a day of rest, all in service of general self care

There’s no shame or embarrassment anywhere in sight.

Yeah. Wow.

So it begins. I’ll report back in a month to let you all know how it’s going. I’d say wish us luck, but we don’t need it– we just need each other.

injury · swimming

Sometimes Doing Less Really Is More

Diane Harper

In the ongoing struggle to address my Shoulder issues (which now stretch well down into my hip and thigh), I have a new physiotherapist. My old one was great, but has gone on maternity leave.

My old therapist had given me a whole lot of exercises over our time together. I hate them. They work, and my shoulder is significantly better than it was six months ago, but it would probably be even better if I did them more regularly.

My new physiotherapist says the only good exercises are the ones I’ll actually do. She has given me exactly two, plus using a ball to roll my hip against a wall. One feels very much like doing butterfly stroke, which is perfect. It’s an exercise I can connect with my love of swimming. The other is a leg lift at a slightly different angle than I am used to, so familiar but also a challenge.

Do I do them all every day? No. But I am making a serious effort to do at least some of them every day. They are stinking hard and when I do them all, I go to bed exhausted. Even this limited work is helping enough that I am able to swim more often and I’m gradually able to do longer distances using freestyle.

Top: the peaceful little lake where I swim most often these days. Ignore the time. Strava on my phone is terrible for time but accurate on distance in the water. Bottom: Willow the dog gets a kayak ride. She also understands the value of doing less.
bras · fitness · injury

Women, knees, bras, oh my!

Sam B1 Comment

Since I have new knees, I’m slowing down on following news about knee injuries. But this story was all over my social media newsfeeds. Knee injuries are up to 6 times more common in women – here’s how to reduce your risk

Best comment on the Facebook page where I shared the story: “It’s because we have more knees isn’t it?”

LOL.

legs of people standing near gray wall
Three sets of knees. Photo by ROCKETMANN TEAM on Pexels.com

Women’s knee injuries are in the news again because several prominent women athletes are struggling with injuries, and also women in sports medicine are writing about it.

From the story that’s linked above, “While there’s no doubt that the shape of our physical frames does make a difference, a paper in the British Journal Of Sports Medicine has argued that societal constructs around gender are also a contributing factor and have been ignored. Dr Stephanie Coen was one of the authors of the paper and is assistant professor of health geography at the University of Nottingham. She tells Strong Women: “I think the reality of the ACL problem is that it’s so multi-layered across time, space and context. The traditional paradigm of ACL injuries in women has been focused on hips and hormones – holding fast to the idea that ‘women are made differently’ and accepting this kind of injury proneness as a biological fact.”  

“She and her co-authors concluded that scientists and sports bodies need to widen their research on the subject. “We need to look further upstream to the gendered kinds of [sports] exposure [people face] from infancy. We need to look at how we learn to move and use our bodies in quite different and often gendered ways,” she explains.  This means looking at whether girls have access to the same sport opportunities – and at a same level as boys – right from primary school. Girls playing football at grassroots levels may not get the same number of fast-paced matches as their male peers, often don’t have access to the same conditioning opportunities or equal levels of coaching. Even once you start playing semi-professionally, you’re probably not going to play on the best pitches.”

But it’s not just our bodies, or gendered sports backgrounds, it might also be ILL FITTING BRAS that are hurting women’s knees.

What’s that you say? BRAS? Really?

One of the blog team commented, “The knee injury may be as a result of someone mentioning you are wearing the wrong bra and “accidentally” kneeing that person.”

See Could your sports bra be causing your knee pain?: “A well-fitting sports bra can be a game-changer in terms of comfort—but could it also impact your joint health? A recent study published in the Journal of Applied Biometrics suggests a supportive bra may actually reduce injuries to the anterior cruciate ligament (ACL), which runs through the middle of the knee and helps to stabilize the joint. Women are more prone to ACL tears, a debilitating injury with an extended recovery period, compared to men. While researchers have explored biological factors and training routines as potential contributors, the idea that a supportive sports bra could assist in injury prevention had not been previously considered.”

And Wearing the wrong bra could put you at a greater risk of a knee injury, study suggests: “To work out why the risk is so much greater for females, researchers have looked at biological factors and training routines. But until recently, no-one had considered the role of the bra. An international team of experts in biomechanics and sports medicine decided to take the task on and studied 35 female recreational athletes. They found when women wore highly supportive bras while completing jumping and landing tasks, many of the common risk factors associated with ACL injuries decreased. Knee flexion angles were smaller, which means the knee didn’t have to bend as much on landing, and there was also a reduction in dynamic knee valgus, which is when the knee moves inwards from the foot.”

“Wrong” in this context isn’t that complicated. It just means “less supportive.”

woman in red sports bra beside woman in white sports bra
Two young women, one black and one white, in white and red sports bras, standing against a brick wall, with their phones. Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Person silhouetted at the opening of a cave, with the ocean in the background. BY Tim Foster for Unsplash. Endings can be difficult, even good ones
fitness · injury · mobility

Endings can be difficult, even good ones

catherine w2 Comments

About a week ago, I had my last physical therapy (PT) session for the sciatica that had been troubling me since late July. They started me out with deep tissue massage, two sets of 10 bridges, two sets of 10 clamshells, and a number of gentle hamstring and other stretches to do on my yoga mat at home.

We progressed to several sets of 10 bridges, some with my thighs strapped and some with a ball between my legs. I began doing three sets of four weight training exercises with a machine, increasing the weight as my strength improved. Also core exercises, from lateral pulls with cable weights to heel touches from an on-my-back chair position (those were in pretty gut busting). And knee bends from steps, touching my heels to the next level down.

This machine was awesome for all kinds of hip-strengthening exercises. You can buy one for $2.545, just FYI.
This machine was awesome for all kinds of hip-strengthening exercises. You can buy one for $2.545, FYI.

After seven weeks of working with trainers twice a week and at home (just about) every day, I’m better. By “better”, I mean no longer having hip, glute or lower back pain, able to drive without pain, not being woken up during the night by pain—generally not in pain anymore. Yay!

There ain't no party like a pineapple-with-sunglasses/party hat/balloon party.
There ain’t no party like a pineapple-with-sunglasses/party hat/balloon party.

On Wednesday October 4, I decided it was time to end PT. My excellent physical therapist Julien and I talked over why I was making my decision, and he concurred. We talked about how I could and should continue exercises at home to maintain the strength and flexibility I had gotten back, what to do when, how often, and so on. He praised me for the work I’d done and the progress I’d made (aww, shucks—thanks, Julien!). And he ended by saying, “We’re here when and if you need us again.”

Honestly, I can’t imagine a nicer and warmer handoff from PT to at-home maintenance. And yet. Endings are difficult for me. They’re difficult in as much as I fear and loathe them.

What’s that about, you might ask? For me:

  • Endings can mean an immediate change, and change is often hard
  • Endings often feel like loss—loss of familiar patterns, activities, people
  • Ending of PT feels like a particular kind of loss—having to go it alone after regular support and company in my recovery, fitness building and maintenance

Making the transition from physical therapy or working with a trainer or coach to self-initiated maintenance and exercise regimens is very familiar to just about everyone who reads this blog. There’s nothing like being accountable to a professional one is paying, or a coach for one’s team to kick one’s keister into gear to do prescribed exercises and training activities. I’ve had experience with both, and also benefited from the company of teammates and also other PT patients doing their own workouts, wherever they were in their healing trajectory.

But afterwards, I often feel alone and on my own, without that support and company in maintaining my fitness and strength.

Yes, I am lucky to have friends who do all the physical activity things like yoga, cycling, going to the gym, walking, etc. And they’re really happy when I join them, which I do from time to time. I can do that more often.

But still there’s this feeling– a mixture of vulnerability, uncertainty and doubt. It’s the “what’s next? How can I get to the next thing?” worry. Another bridge to cross. But maybe there’s a way to reframe this.

Scary narrow walking suspension bridge across a deep gorge.
Scary bridge across a deep gorge.
Bright red-painted friendly wooden bridge over a calm pond.
Bright red-painted friendly wooden bridge over a calm pond.

Can I choose to think about change in the friendly way rather than the scary way? Maybe. With some help from friends, scheduling and of course not forgetting to breathe, maybe I can shift from adult-supervised strength and fitness training to self-instigated strength and fitness training.

I’ll report back in a month or so with an update. So readers, what has it been like for you when you’ve moved from very structured training or recovery to regular-life maintenance or training? I’d so love to hear your stories.

Christine and the Contrary Brain
ADHD · fitness · injury

Christine and the Contrary Brain

Christine Hennebury2 Comments

I wonked out my shoulder and my arm two weeks ago.

Khalee and I were out for a walk. She was cruising along sniffing every blade of grass, as per usual, when she noticed a dog on the opposite side of the road and decided to take a look.

She changed direction so fast that I didn’t have time to adjust direction. I swear, if she had more momentum, my whole right arm – and possibly my shoulder- would have detached and been dragged behind her on the end of the leash.

Luckily, my arm stayed attached but all my muscles on that side are really unhappy with me.

I’ve been taking it pretty easy exercise-wise while I recover from the strain.

I’m doing some low key yoga, lots of stretching, and some mobility exercises. And, of course, I’m still walking Khalee every day.

(I hold the leash in my left hand though!)

A light-haired dog is walking away from the camera down the sidewalk on a sunny day. 
Image description: Khalee, my light-haired, medium-sized dog, is walking away from me on the sidewalk on a sunny fall day. Her leash is visible on the bottom left corner (it’s in my left hand!) and to her right is some grass and there are trees beyond that.

So, I’m doing ok and things are improving but I am feeling rather contrary about the whole thing.

I’m not contrary about the injury – although that part is no fun- I’m contrary because I am suddenly absolutely compelled to start rowing again and to really dig into some upper body strength training.

I’m not actually doing those things yet because I’m not foolish enough to risk hurting myself further but when I envision my day, I keep imaging myself rowing or doing some bicep curls and it seems like a great idea…until I remember.

Of course, I could be doing lower body strength training or using the exercise bike but my brain doesn’t find that intriguing at all.

When it comes to expanding my exercise plans right now, it wants upper body work or nothing.

See what I mean?

My brain is just being contrary.

Now that I have tuned into that fact, I’ll work around it and do some extra squats or lunges or whatnot but I had to become aware of the contrariness before I could do anything about it.

cardio · fitness · injury · strength training

You can’t do everything and that’s okay

Sam B
Turtles

Saturday I posted in the 223 workouts in 2023 group, “One lap of the Beach Island Loop with the Thundering Turtles, 30 minutes. My goal is to up my time consistently through fall and winter to get my cardio fitness and endurance back. Obviously, that fell through the wayside while I was recuperating from knee surgery, and the focus was all mobility, strength, and balance.”

It’s important to acknowledge this. While I’m a physio and knee replacement surgery success story, not all of my areas of fitness survived equally. I got back to strength training pretty early in. Physio focuses a lot on mobility and balance. But cardio fitness? I lost that pretty quickly. Here’s what Triathlete magazine has to say about losing cycling fitness. They estimate the time to get back to where you were is about 2/3 of the time you were off. So, for me, it’s been a year. That makes getting back to where I was last summer a reasonable winter goal.

Getting my cardio fitness back is going to be a focus of my fall and winter training. I’m not beating myself up about it. I’m not feeling bad about it. But it does feel urgent to get it back. Here’s my fall and winter plan.

It also feels good to know I’m not alone. A fit feminist friend on Facebook commented on my Beach Island Loop post, saying, “I will follow your model. My cardio fell off the wagon (but was slipping anyway) with the pacemaker. I’ve been all strength, mobility and balance too. Having trouble getting going as my sleep apnea has been horrid (just had a study) and I’ve lacked motivation. Will walk, starting at 15 minutes (that’s where I am), try to be consistent and gradually work up. Thanks. You are always an inspiration to me.”

It also helps me to remember that it’s true for serious athletes, too. You can’t do everything. You can train for explosive power but not also for peak endurance. You can train for strength and muscle development, but that will make it hard to train for running marathons. That’s just because different sports have different demands.

In my case, without strength, I couldn’t tax my cardiovascular system. I needed to rebuild strength first. But strength is back, and this winter’s focus will be cardio endurance. Wish me luck, folks!

cycling · fitness · injury

I’m back on my bike and smiling about it!

Sam B
Follow me on Strava.

I had my first knee replacement at the end of August 2022 and my second knee replacement April 11th, 2023. Now ten months later, I’m back on my road bike.

Saturday and Sunday Sarah and I rode our usual short 25 km Guelph loop. It’s the one I often ride before work in the summer. Of special note to philosophers, this route features Hume Road.

Hume Road

Sunday’s ride ended with a stop at the Good Games at the University of Guelph. It looked like a fun event for masters’ athletes. The sports are beach volleyball, pickelball, basketball, slopitch or a five or ten km trail run. For us, it was just a lunch stop at the food trucks after our bike ride.

Here we are on Hume Road again.

I’m hoping to get out most weekends and gradually increase my distance, as well as my speed.

Wish me luck!

fitness · injury · sleep

Sleep is elusive, says Sam and time is meaningless

Sam B4 Comments

So it’s been exactly one week since knee replacement surgery and things are going well on most fronts. Except for sleep. Which is miserable. And I feel sorry for everyone I know with sleeping difficulties. (Hey Jeff.)

Sleeping cat
Photo by
Akshay Bhosle
on
Scopio

Normally I’m an obnoxiously healthy sleeper. Certainly I usually get enough sleep and I feel good about it. I go to bed early. I get up early. It’s all pretty textbook, as recommended, stuff. If I struggle at all it’s with consistency and the hours I sleep. But I’ve even been making progress on that front.

Until knee surgery.

Argh.

I’ve been in too much pain to sleep through the night. It’s hard to even get to sleep. I have to sleep on my back right now. And the prescription narcotic drug that works best for pain (I’m only taking it at night) has as a side effect, sleeplessness. Great.

I can only sleep once I’m absolutely exhausted and then I end up sleeping during the day which only makes for more sleepless nights.

I’ve been watching The Expanse in the middle of the night. I’ve never made it all the way through before. This time, I’ll try.

Maybe I should try counting sheep or one of those how to fall asleep like a Marine drills.

Here’s some sheep to start with.

Sheep
Photo by
Nazanin Esfandyarpour
on
Scopio

Last knee replacement it was at week two that I started googling and buying special pillows to help with sleep and recovery. This time around it’s at week one. But I already own all the fancy pillows.

I’m hoping this stage of recovery doesn’t last. I remember last time it got better once I could sleep on my side again. Wish me luck and all the zzzz’s.

Photo by
Sonya Peacocke
on
Scopio