Hey Space Makers!
I hope your Weekend Fun Plan served you well and that you are considering planning some extra fun for next weekend, too.
This week, I’d like you to consider how to manage expectations during the weeks ahead.
I know that it is really tricky to manage other peoples’ expectations and that it is even tricky to manage our own so this isn’t about waving a magic wand and making things instantly easier.
It’s about (shockingly!) making a little space for yourself amidst those expectations.
And, for me, that starts with recognizing that those expectations are there in the first place.
I often find myself feeling tense or stressed about a situation but not quite knowing why I feel that way. Usually, when I dig into the feeling a little I realize that I have either made an extra big deal of it in my head or I have internalized someone else’s expectations for the event and I am trying to live up to them.*
Events, activities, and holidays in December always seem to have extra pressure on them to be perfect and mindful and memorable so unreasonable expectations abound.
The only way I have found to deal with this is to figure out what expectations I have, what expectations other people have, and then to decide which ones I am willing to try and meet. And, of course, I can work to clarify for myself (and for others) which ones I will NOT be meeting – this is often easier said that done, of course.
Obviously, I know that I am not responsible for other people’s happiness (nor am I in control of their expectations) but I am willing to do part of the work to make an event fun and memorable so it is helpful to know what people expect (and to be clear about my own expectations.)
So, with all of that in mind, I wonder if you can take a few minutes and consider your schedule, your plans, and your commitments for the next few weeks and get some idea of what expectations are in place and which ones you are willing to meet.
For example: If you are expected to bring a dessert to your Aunt’s house for a family supper on the 21st but you have three busy days beforehand, I think it would be easier to let yourself and your family know now that you will be buying a dessert this year. That way, you can close the ‘when will I get around to making that dessert’ loop in your brain and you can avoid the static from your relatives when you show up with a different dessert than they were expecting.
Ok, now that we have done something for future you, let’s consider present you:
For today’s mindfulness practice, I found a 5 Minute Candle Gazing Meditation from Peace of Mind. You may prefer to light a candle ‘in-person’, of course, but the practice is good either way. **
We have two shoulder mobility routines to choose from today (but I won’t stop you from doing both!). The first one 5 Min. Shoulder Mobility Routine |SOS – Strengthen and Stretch is from Julia Reppel. Since that one doesn’t have any verbal instructions in it – just music and a timer sound to switch movements – so I thought it would be good to find a second video with actual instructions (since some of us – me -) often do better with instructions said aloud. So, I also found this lovely 5 Minute Shoulder Stretch video from Black Yogi Nico Marie with clear verbal instructions for creating ease in your shoulders and upper body.
Feel free to do either, do both, or to do something else entirely.
Please, please, please, be kind to yourself in the process either way.
Wishing you ease today and always.
*This is doubly true when the other person’s expectations are unstated. Unstated expectations are slippery things and they are hard to deal with. The only way I have found to deal with this is to state very clearly to that person what the event or activity is going to actually be like so I can help avoid any guilt trips they might want to send me on. If I have been clear it is easier for me to untangle myself from their feelings. Your situation is probably different than mine so I trust that you can find your own best practice here.
**The rest of the video title states that this practice will improve your eyesight. To be clear: I am not making that claim, I just found the video restful.
