I seem to be at the age when friends start making pronouncements related to their age. Like, now I’m sixty I’m not doing that any more! Fill in the blank for “that.”
Some of the things being cut out are beauty regime related and they come with a feeling of PHEW. Like no more shaving one’s legs, or no more lipstick, or no wearing underwire bras. (We all gave up the last one during the pandemic, right?)
And okay, in some cases, they sound like rich people things to say. What are some examples? Like, never flying economy on a flight over 3 hours or some such thing. Which is fine, if you’ve got the money and that’s how you want to spend it, you do you. But don’t make it sound like a moral commitment. You’re just wealthy and treating yourself well and that’s fine. It’s not a major life insight to declare that it’s more comfortable having more leg room on a flight.
But some of the proclamations and pronouncements are fitness activity related and they make me just a little uneasy. On the upside, it’s good to recognize the ways our bodies change with age and adjust our expectations accordingly. On the downside, I wonder if we do that too soon and limit our lives unnecessarily.
The first set that I’ve encountered among friends concern camping. In the last year I’ve heard friends say that they’ve decided they’re too old to sleep in a tent so no more tent camping again. But that rules out any back country camping. Others say now they’ve reached sixty, there’ll be no more portages. That seriously limits your canoe routes.
Others say they’ll ride bikes and run or swim but definitely no more races.
Now I get it if you always hated sleeping in a tent, portaging your canoe, or racing your bike. You shouldn’t do things you don’t like at any age. But if you still like it, why stop? Or maybe you’ve changed your mind, and don’t like it any more, but don’t make it about age. You don’t need an excuse to stop doing a thing you no longer like.
My gut feeling is that very little of it is really about age. Other friends say we’re not doing some things because we’re old now. But in many cases they’re things they’ve never done and didn’t want to do in the first place.
It’s kind of like knee replacement surgery. Some friends who have had knees replaced attribute not doing certain activities to knee replacement. But they didn’t do these activities before knee replacement. Further, I suspect they never really wanted to do these things.
I worry we shouldn’t stop doing things we love because we think they’re not possible as we age. The truth is we just don’t know what we’ll be capable of.
When I wrote about aging and activity a few years ago this thought really stuck with me from a New York Times article on a study about aging and exercise, Exercise Can Keep Aging Muscles and Immune Systems ‘Young’.
The piece begins by noting that our understanding of aging might be radically mistaken because so few older adults get any exercise at all.
“Exercise among middle-aged and older adults in the Western world is rare. By most estimates, only about 10 percent of people past the age of 65 work out regularly. So, our expectations about what is normal during aging are based on how growing older affects sedentary people.”
Of course if you don’t like doing a thing– whether it’s wearing lipstick, sleeping in a tent, racing your bike, or whatever– don’t do it. That’s true at 20, 30, 40 etc. But don’t stop doing it just because you don’t like it or don’t like it anymore, and blame it on age.
I’m hoping to expand my range of activities with age. I want to try new things, not shrink my life down.
Sarah and I met an older woman a couple of years ago paddling and back country canoe camping solo. She said her husband used to come with her but with age it became too difficult for him. Now he drives her up there and drops her off. I love that she loves back country camping so much she does it solo now. That’s brave and it’s expanded her options.
I mean, who knows. Maybe she didn’t ever like camping with her husband but it didn’t sound that way.
So it does happen, things can become too difficult with age and injury. I no longer run. But I am hoping to dance, bike, and camp my way into my senior years. It looks as though it might be a struggle to find people to do it with. That’s okay. I like hanging out with younger people. But I am also hoping to lure some friends my own age out onto their bikes for long rides, into the woods and lakes for some camping trips, and out on the dance floor to shake a few moves.
How about you? How are your activities adjusting to aging? How are you feeling about it?
I like to sleep in a tent. I am also having back trouble, so when I did it this summer I was in pain. I associate this new back pain with age, and that is why the words came out of me that I may be aging out of tent camping. I hadn’t tried a hammock yet.
We got a pretty nice very lightweight inflatable air mattress.
Do people really say “I’m 60 now so I’m not going to do some of the fitness things I love to do?” Or do they decide at some point that they have done enough of it or it hurts now or they want to modify their approach, not based on an arbitrary number but based on how they feel?
I think about my new commitment to running in a sustainable way, for example (blog post coming on Wednesday!). Or when I have up road biking not because I was “too old” but because I didn’t enjoy doing it.
I just don’t see someone giving up something they still love simply because they turned 60 and no other reason. Maybe, like some beauty regimes, they have felt as if they “had to” do those things (like race), and now, with the wisdom of age, they realize “says who??!”
I like this post even though I’m skeptical about what really leads to people modifying their routines as they age. I know very few people who aren’t committed to “aging well” in some sense that aims at prolonging their ability to do things they love.
They certainly say, now I’m 60 I’ve decided I’m not flying economy and now I’m 60 I’m not sleeping in a tent. I’ve heard no more racing too. And no more portages. I suspect 60 is an excuse. But I also don’t see some of these friends adding new things. Life just seems to get narrower. So I guess I think just quit the thing whenever you don’t like it, you don’t need an excuse. But also keep an eye out for narrowing your options unecessarily.
Oh I agree that there is the thing about flying economy (for those who wish to spend their money that way). I guess I haven’t heard it about fitness things that are still enjoyable. I agree fully that if you don’t like a thing, just don’t do the thing. No need to give an age-related reason. Also, and maybe this is just me, 60 just doesn’t seem all that old!
I’ve also stopped running. My back and glutes are much happier now. I found a 25 minute High Intensity Interval Training video on YouTube designed for folks 50 and over (though I think it is great for anyone) that I do three times a week instead. It combines cardio and core strengthening while all being low impact. The instructor also gives low level instructions for mobility challenged and higher level instructions for those who want to do more, so scalable. When this gets to be too much, I will find something else that my body will tolerate. Sorry, my idea of camping is renting accommodations without a dishwasher.
Right. But likely that’s always been your idea of camping. It hasn’t changed with age!
Coming at this from the perspective of a soon-to-be 73-year-old, I agree strongly with all your comments about not attributing these decisions to age! I don’t run as much as I used to. I have a bad knee, and backing off has helped me keep it from causing problems so far. Of course it was age related, but I was in my mid-50s when it showed up. I haven’t liked camping since I was a kid – take a foam pad with me to hotels. That started when I was in my 30s. Never wanted to race.
But: I ride my bike about 4000 miles a year with plenty of climbing (did the Death Ride in California when I was 64, celebrated my 70th birthday 4 days from finishing my second bike ride across the USA); I run once a week; I do yoga several times a week.; strength training – regularly; long, vigorous walks, as often as I can find the time; tap dance classes 3x/week.
Age is not a good excuse. Except for finding time to do more of what you really like.
I’ve been away from you all for ages, hello!
I recently read Tough Broad by Caroline Paul – have you read it? It’s quite good, good enough that I’ve already re-read it. The subtitle is “how outdoor adventure improves our lives as we age” https://www.carolinepaul.com/tough-broad (she’s also on a lot of podcasts) She blends profiles of women, her experiences, and scientific research in a way that’s pretty entertaining.
Best to all here!