Sat with Nat

Ah yes, there it is, the melancholy!

People who don’t know me well are often surprised to learn I have a history of depression and struggle with anxiety. I’m so friendly! I do lots of things and appear to others as fearless, brave…all kind of qualities I don’t actually have but no one seems to notice.

It’s been a grey week with a near constant drizzle and snow mix. Ugh. I’m not sleeping great these days and my partner is on the road 25-50% of the time. Wha-wha-whaaaaaa

Ah yes, there it is, my late fall melancholy. It’s not snowy enough to do winter activities and not warm enough to do other things. Everything is damp. Bleck.

I know the solution is rest, some exercise, some hobby stuff and spending time with friends and family.

So I’m continuing to walk to work, go to yoga once a week and occasionally spin on my bike.

I’ve been stretching and rolling my legs and feet as I deal with plantar fasciitis. I joking posted this picture of rollers and balls for massaging body parts quipping “I use to spend my money on sex toys!”

The picture is looking down at a hardwood floor that displays a large knobby foam roller, a thin rollin pin style roller, and a couple spikey balls

Ah yes, the joys of keeping flexible can help keep the melancholy at bay.

My partner has stopped drinking coffee so we’ve gotten a little cast iron teapot and fancy loose teas. We take a moment and sit on the couch facing each other, legs intertwined and talk about our day while sipping tea.

One of the more ridiculous things I did was get this silly Santa duvet cover for my bed. I’m sure his little open mouth is supposed to say “Ho, ho, ho!” But to me he’s saying OH!

A thin white fabric has stylized trees and Santa’s with red, teal, green and brown tress, presents and sleighs. It looks cheap and tacky and that makes Natalie love it more.

The other usual stressors are in my life: paid work, my last university course and parenting.

However, as one of my friends reminded me, I am doing great despite it all because I have a wonderful support network.

I know my impulse is to withdraw when I’m feeling low but I can always rely on friends replying to plans to get together.

Here’s to a December I hope to remember as a positive one.

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