CW: discussion of comments made about people’s eating habits, especially in family circles
While browsing Facebook yesterday, I came across a post from a FB friend expressing their frustration and anger over food concern trolling comments from their family. The comments mainly consisted of observations on the amount of they ate or put on their plate. When confronted, family members said they were “just kidding”. Right.
I am so done with this behavior, and I’m glad this person called out the comments for what they were– body shaming, food concern trolling, toxic fat phobia. Enough!
Reading this made me reflect on what my family holiday eating atmosphere is like these days. I’m very happy to say that it’s fun and satisfying and supportive and respectful.
One really great thing about my sister and her kids is that we all eat what we want and how much we want. There’s really no judgement, except that I occasionally make fun of them about how much they love sauces on the side. Remember this scene from When Harry Met Sally? Their orders are often like this:
I feel completely at home with my sister and her kids– at home in my body, at home with my plate at mealtime. My sister and I do talk about nutrition— protein and fat in particular— as we both have gut issues. We offer advice to each other in the form of “I was having this gut problem, ate or didn’t eat this, did that, and the following happened. Maybe that info will be helpful for you.” That works for me.
My mother is experiencing cognitive decline, and it’s hard for her (not remembering things) and for us (trying to figure out what to remind her about and when to go with the flow). She is eating less, a combo of lowered appetite and forgetting to eat. But she hasn’t forgotten about the foods she likes. She takes real pleasure in a burger, turkey sub sandwich, or a snickers ice cream bar (yes these exist). And we’ve enjoyed a bunch of nice meals together, talking about the food, how good it is, and what it reminds us of— other meals, other friends and family members, other times. Connecting with my mom through food is a pleasure I hope will last for a while yet.
I wish for all of you, dear readers, days and days of happy meals with family and friends through the rest of this holiday time and in the new year to come.
