The recent spectacle in the US of the guy in charge fat-shaming generals and calling for the “the highest male standard” in military fitness made me take a deep breath for about a million reasons — the most significant, of course, being that this is a classic step in solidifying the power of authoritarian regimes by testing military loyalty.
But for this blog, I just thought I’d focus in on the fitness part. (Instead of, you know, the whole grim end of democracy thing).
With all the yammer about a supremely outdated notion of “warriors,” I remembered this booklet in my piles of random paper. When my mother died in 2022, I found this little book from 1962, outlining the Royal Canadian Air Force’s fitness plan for girls and women.
My mom played on her university basketball team in the early 60s (despite her 5.2 height), and then taught gym and coached high school girls’ team sports in the first part of her teaching life. She continued to follow women’s basketball until she died, frequently attending University of Windsor “Lancerettes” games. There was one infamous moment where she, two inches shorter from osteoporosis, craned her head to look at two women from the current team, both at least 6 feet, and said, “I used to be you! Take your calcium!”
But I digress.
So after all the fat-shaming and gender-erasure, I dug out this XBX Plan for fitness. It outlines what the Canadian military thought girls and women should be doing for fitness 63 years ago.
And you know, it’s not so terrible.
Well, maybe not so terrible once you get past the Air-Marshal’s initial message.
The whole thing is definitely gendered in a cringey way, and relies pretty heavily on a “calories in, calories out” formula that persists until today. And the “wishing is not good enough” message is pretty shame-y. But overall, the booklet downplays weight and appearance and focuses on what you actually need to do for general health and wellbeing in that transformative 12 minutes a day.
Basically, there are four sets of 10 exercises, and the intention is to start with the less complex set, with fewer reps, and then to work your way up. I wondered — would I meet the target for my age? How would I fare if I were suddenly thrust into some kind of makeshift resistance army?
The charts were incredibly complicated to figure out, but I had to start with the first hard truth: I am too old to even be doing this. Clearly, at nearly 61, I should be putting on my little fur stole and smoking a cigarette and giving unheeded wisdom to the young people.
Fine. I’m too old? It’s 2025. I put my 60 year old blue hair into little space buns and decided my goal was the same as my 21 year old mother’s.
The chart reminded me of every table I’ve ever fudged related to water safety (tide charts, dive tables, etc.). But I stuck my tongue between my teeth and determined that for Level 35, I should start with the exercises on Chart III, with designated reps for each. (The recommended level for people 50-55 to aim for was 12, so I knew I was biting off a lot).
Exercises 1-4, 2 minute sequence: 15 toe touches, 22 knee raises each side, 18 lateral bends each side, and 40 arm circles each side.
These are all movements we still do today. But it’s way too many reps for the time — it takes me more than three minutes, and I kind of collapse on my ankles on the knee raises trying to go too fast. Soundtrack: Cruel Summer.
Exercise 5: 41 sit ups. Weird, curvy sit-ups. The chart gives me 2 minutes.
I do all 41, but it takes me 2.5 minutes. And I feel kind of angry the whole time. Soundtrack: Little Mix’s Power. Who got the power? Not me.
Exercise 6: Chest and Leg Raising. Kind of like a dynamic bow post in yoga. 39 in 1 minute. This should be fun.
Takes me a minute and a half. It actually feels kind of good? Like a back bend? But like my form is a tasteless free-for-all so who knows what I’m dislocating? Soundtrack: MyOhMy, Camila Cabello and DaBaby. Don’t know how this got into my mix but I’ve stopped questioning anything.
Exercise 7: Side Leg Raising, 60 total (30 each side) in one minute. Kind of like a classic Jane Fonda leg lift, judging by the little diagram.
Takes a full two minutes, and I literally stagger to my feet at the end. I should probably engage those hips more. Soundtrack: WAP. Um. Air Vice-Marshall Orr is going to rise from his grave just to shake his finger at me.
This is actually kind of a lot. I push the thought away.
Exercise 8: Elbow Push Ups. 39 in 2 minutes.
Okay, I can hold a plank for 2 minutes, surely this is fine? Hahahaha, no.
This is the first set I finish within the time frame, but I have to use the extra time for a restorative child’s pose. The cats come in demanding dinner and getting in my way. Justifiable break. Soundtrack: Espresso. Whatever.
Exercise 9: Leg-overs, Tuck. The lower level version of this one is just kind of a yoga twist with a straight leg; this one involves a tuck and… something. Twisting with legs tucked together and then straightening in the centre? 20 in one minute, and I THINK that’s 10 each side. All righty.
I lose track of the counts, but I think I’m doing it right? And like the bow things, this is something I should do more often. Also I really need to vacuum the cat litter off the floor of my office. Soundtrack: Not your Barbie Girl, Ava Max. Where did this playlist even come from? The AI-generated music over this low-tech notebook full of my 20 year old mother’s handwriting is causing some serious temporal dislocation.
Exercise 10: Run and Half Knee Bends. 230 in 3 minutes.
It takes me a full minute to even begin to decipher this one. Run in place, and after every 50 steps do 10 half knee bends (squats, I guess, but the lady is kind of on her toes in her little ballet slippers? Maybe she has Barbie feet?). How does this add up to 230?
This one feels very HIIT, though it’s totally impossible to keep track of reps. And how does this combo add up to 230? I don’t hate it, but the tarsal tunnel nerve issues in my right heel are pretty peeved at me. I should have put shoes on. Soundtrack: I like it, Cardi B, Bad Bunny and J Balvin. Seems about right for my obdurate wokeness.
So in the end? Trying to keep up with the reps made me lose the form and breathing that’s been drilled into me over my own fitness history. But the actual movements aren’t terrible.
The final instruction in the book is very uplifting. To lead a balanced life of ironing and tennis, you need to lift those legs. “Wishing is not good enough,” the Air Marshal guy reminds us again, as his final advice.
He’s not wrong. Sigh. So many things we can’t just wish into being, right now. But we CAN perfect the run-in-place-squat combo. Just to, you know, be ready. For whatever.
Fieldpoppy is Cate Creede-Desmarais, who looks very different at 61 than her great-aunts did in the late 50s.
Hilarious! I may have done a day’s abs by laughing.