Once I made the decision to finish the year soft, I started to feel a little less tense right away. Just a little but enough to notice.
Over the past couple of weeks of consciously choosing activities and approaches that are focused on easing my jangled nerves, I have noticed steady improvement. Incremental improvement but improvement all the same.
And this past week, the change has been much more significant. I feel a lot calmer, a lot more myself.
Now, to be clear, I have not spent the last few weeks lying on a lounge chair by the pool being fanned with a palm frond. It’s cold, I don’t have a pool, and I have stuff that’s important to me to get done.
Instead of the palm frond scenario, I have been framing my day with yoga, resting when I can, and seeking more relaxed approaches to anything I possibly can.
The change hasn’t been automatic and it certainly hasn’t been easy or straightforward but it is worthwhile.
I’ve spent a bit more time asking myself ‘What do you need to do?’ instead of ‘What needs to get done?’ and I have been trying to give myself a bit of extra time with any task I take on.
I’ve been giving myself a bit more leeway to do things the way I need to do them rather than in the most ‘efficient’ or ‘sensible’ way because I know that’s easier on my brain.
So, while I have made some changes that affect other people – saying no to certain tasks and activities, changing some deadlines, etc. – the most important thing I have done to help myself uncurl a little is to pay closer attention to my approach to my schedule, my plans, and to my day-to-day.
I’ve spent a bit more time evaluating the energy costs for my plans and my tasks and I’ve adjusted my plans and my to-do lists accordingly.
I’m feeling a bit tired as I write this on Monday afternoon but it feels different from the tired of a few weeks ago.
Today, I feel ‘that was hard work’ tired instead of the ‘I’m too worn out to even try’ kind of tired I was dealing with a few weeks ago and I feel really encouraged by that.
I still need more time to rest, of course.
I don’t want to make the mistake of starting to feel better and then jumping back into the same routine and brain space that wore me out in the first place.
BUT…
I feel good about the fact that I am feeling a distinct difference after three weeks.
This improvement in my general well-being means that I am doing something right, that I am taking better care of myself, and I plan to keep up the good work.
