ADHD · goals · martial arts · planning

Christine’s TKD Pattern Check-In: That Didn’t Go As Planned (But It Turned Out OK)

So, it turns out that I can’t really learn a new pattern in 5 minute sessions because my brain does NOT like it.

I can do 5 minute practices of a pattern that I already know or I can practice one specific technique for 5 minutes but my brain refuses to believe that 5 minutes of learning a new pattern will add up to me being able to do it. 

I have it a good try for the first 10 days of my plan, though.

I would practice a few moves one day and really feel like I was getting it. But, by the next afternoon, it was like I had wiped my mind clear of the previous movements entirely. It was taking me almost the whole five minutes to remind myself of what I had been doing the day before and it was so awkward and frustrating that I was getting really discouraged.

a GIF of a ​light brown dog slowly shaking its head back and forth. It has a resigned expression on its face and the caption beneath says ‘Really?’
This pup knows my frustration. Image description: a GIF of a light brown dog slowly shaking its head back and forth. Its mouth is curled into a resigned expression and the caption beneath says ‘Really?’

I know, of course, that learning takes time and that I have to be patient with myself and with the process.

BUT, on the other hand, I know what I am like and I know what my brain is like. And, I know that that specific kind of frustration can lead to me unconsciously putting something aside for later – and not a specific time later but that murky ambiguous time that I refer to as the ‘the not-now.’*

Change in Plans

In order to protect my pattern practice from falling into the not-now, I had to course-correct.

I changed my daily practices to focus on patterns I already knew, cycling through them one at a time. 

As for learning Yoo-Sin, here’s what happened:

Luckily, we went back to having classes in person so I had the chance to work with Ms. Reid and Mr. Dyer a couple of times. That really helped. It’s great to have two very different people to work with – they both help me to understand different parts of the movements and understand how to bring the pieces together.

A GIF made by animating the images from a Simplicity brand pant suit sewing pattern so that the figures on the front dance.
This is not the kind of pattern I was working on at all but this GIF makes me laugh every time I see if. Image description: A GIF made from the the sample image on a Simplicity brand sewing pattern. A woman in a black yellow, plaid bell-bottom pant suit dances from side to side in the foreground while a woman in a black bell-bottom pant suit nods her head to the same beat in the background.

And, at home, I dedicated longer periods of time to learning my new pattern so I had time to get into more of the movements in each practice.

I started by writing out the 68 movements in my own words so I could reference them more easily. I’m sure official instructions will never include phrases like  “X punch down, X knives up, then sneaky punch” but I make it work. 

Then I broke the movements into sections that made sense to me – separating sections when I had to change directions or when a set of similar movements were completed and another set was starting.  

I worked on the first section until the movements had a bit of flow to them and then moved to the next section, adding a little bit at a time. This is what I was hoping to do with my 5 minute practices but 5 minutes wasn’t long enough to make things stick.

I could feel that I was starting to grasp my pattern** but I couldn’t always bring my knowledge with me to class. It always takes a while before my home practice shows up at class with me but at least my brain was more willing to focus on the details of the in-class practice because the movements were at least vaguely familiar. That let me retain more information about the details of the pattern because I had a mental ‘container’ to put them in.

Let’s Call It A Success

I’m going to call my February plan a success even though I had to change it part way through. (Hmm, does it count as changing it if part of the plan was that I could change it if I wanted? Ha! )

Trying to work for 5 minutes a day wasn’t a direct path to learning my pattern but it did set me on the right path. Realizing that 5 minutes a day wasn’t going to work led me to find something that would and now I am doing pretty well with my pattern overall.

I’m pretty confident with the first 50 of the 68 movements and I am feeling ok about the last 18. And I’d be feeling more confident about that last 18 if I could magically face the right direction for each movement instead of having to remind myself each time.

A determined-looking cheerleader in a huge hairbow holding pompoms.
Given her determined expression, I can only assume she is personally cheering me on. Image description: a cheerleader in a huge hair bow and a black and red jersey that says ‘Beauties’ is holding a black and white pompom slightly behind her while she holds a red and white pompom toward the camera. She has a determined look on her face and she is standing in a field with a tree and parked cars in the background.

When I started this plan for practice I wasn’t sure if I *could* learn my pattern in a month but apparently, the answer is yes – as long as I was working with my inclinations instead of against them. 

I think I just coached myself into a corner with that last bit, hey? 😉

*Long before I was diagnosed with ADHD, I would tell people that, for me, time only came in two forms ‘now’ and ‘not-now’ and if I put something into the not-now it might never resurface. It took me years to find out that dividing time like that is common among people with ADHD. I don’t know how many people use the definite article though – ‘the not-now’ has a certain gravitas to it that works for me.

** I have a very specific feeling when I know a pattern is starting to come together. It’s not exactly visual but it is the mental equivalent of watching film develop or watching something move toward you through fog – I can ‘see’ it there, recognize its shape, even if I can’t quite identify/describe it yet.

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