A Small Victory

I ran today. I did just over 4km at a clip of about 6:10 per kilometer. It doesn’t seem like much but basically today was the difference between the version of me that is still training for the Niagra Falls Women’s Half Marathon and the version that has given up because her body is not cooperating.

I had not run in a week and a half even though the last time was a magnificent 13.3km in which I did not collapse or otherwise injure myself. So yay.

However, I’m struggling with a low level flare of my RA and people, it is sucking the life out of me. Right now, it’s my hands and my right wrist but anyone who has an auto-immune thing knows that active-ish disease isn’t just about the affected part. It’s a system malfunction and my system is very prone to crashing lately, I’m exhausted, distracted and rather grumpy. I’m trying not to be disheartened but in this past week, I’ve stared right in the face the specter of  the cycle of inactivity that I am prone to.

It starts as giving myself permission to rest but then it becomes something else, a lethargy I have trouble escaping. I fear my gains have already vanished. I start to ache from not moving. I don’t want to do anything at all, I give up for a while.

Except I didn’t. I ran today and I made it a Tempo run (yes 6:10 kms are a tempo run for me, don’t laugh). I ran in the cold rain, the perfect pathetic fallacy for my mood and the ache in my hands. But darn it, I ran.

I will do a 15k long run on Sunday. I’m not giving up.

That’s what I have to say about that.

motivational penguin

An adorable little cartoon penguin. His name is “Motivational Penguin” and the caption reads, “You can do it!” Thanks Motivational Penguin. I think so too.

About Susan Tarshis

I am a full time Psychotherapist practicing in Milton, Ontario. From time to time, I post thoughts about my practice and the human condition to my own blog but mostly, I'm a regular contributor to my friends' blog (Fit is a Feminist Issue). . .because that's more fun.

8 thoughts on “A Small Victory

  1. Tracy I says:

    That is amazing! 4K at 6:10! I wish I was dong the Niagara women’s half this year so we could do it together (at least do the start and end festivities together; at your pace you’d leave me in the dust). Who else is doing it? Good luck with the final month of training. Also, tons of people walk it, so there would be plenty of company if you decided you needed to walk a portion or all of the course, or do run-walk intervals (they even have pace bunnies for 10-1 run-walk intervals).

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m not doing the half at that pace! Lol I am doing it in 10-1’s. If I can manage 7:40 for the distance I’ll be thrilled. I was, like, sprinting yesterday. Which is still outstanding given the situation.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Tracy I says:

        Now I’m even more disappointed that I’m not doing the Niagara with you. You could have done the 7:00 pace with me and Anita, 10-1s. Let’s run together some time!

        Like

  2. morningfrost says:

    That’s awesome!!!! You’re smashing it!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. sarahsleepadvisorSarah says:

    wishing you the best of luck and good job on today!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. sarahsleepadvisor says:

    wishing you luck on Sunday and great job on today!

    Like

  5. fieldpoppy says:

    Amazing job you ;-). Hang in.
    xc

    Like

  6. For anyone still following this thread, I ran 15k yesterday with an average pace of 7:36 per km. So heck ya!

    Liked by 1 person

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